Fear of taking action, commitment and humiliation; Chronic escapism through books, fanfics and YouTube

[GoldenGlow]

Reading 50 books per year has put me into a state of analysis paralysis, where I'm filled with ideas for how society should be run but don't even clean my damn room. None of my current beliefs are actually my own. Whenever I listen to my pleasure-strangled brain, it becomes a foul headwind that finds security in the sidewalk's 'freedom.'
I love telling others how society should be run and assume it makes me intelligent.
I've placed myself on a pedestal by withdrawing from things that provoke failure. I have many different views and theories, but never leave the comfort zone to test and recalibrate them because it feels like pulling fingernails.
The truth is that I'm a coward.
I know that to start a skincare business, the funds can be raised through working low-income jobs and scaling up to learning a trade, or a sales job. Working for other entrepreneurs will teach you more about business in the short-term. Books can help tremendously with reaching long-term stability, but they don't always provide you with what you need right now.

I came on here with a fixed worldview created by gurus thinking I knew it all.
My first thread was a catastrophe, I was swiftly corrected for many errors with interpreting Unscripted .
My execution thread was a disaster. I failed to deliver any unique value and to create a unique product idea. I lacked the funds for the product's development with being unemployed, yet arrogance insulated the ego from adapting to new worldviews and taking criticism.
I felt that skincare clashed with my current personality. I'd rather do something artistic requiring a great deal of pattern recognition and imagination, but what?
I don't have a clue and I'm not talented at anything.
I've idealised the perfect product with the perfect result. Anything below perfection leads to more negative self-talk and excuses to go half-a$$ something else.

Inspired by gurus, I tried making a few different channels on YouTube to discuss the books I've read.
I followed passions, tricking myself into thinking this forum is shallow and limiting in its view on 'purpose.'
I almost went into the self-improvement niche, falling for obvious guru MLMs.
I realized I have nothing to add with being skinny, socially awkward and having no hobbies to gain skills (despite having many interests).
I'm in an ever-expanding desert making no progress because every skill I gain gets dropped because of shiny object syndrome.
Between High School and now I gained no power and accumulated a lot of dead time...

I was forever switching subjects in High School, incapable of focusing on one thing for prolonged periods of time. Once all the coursework had been read once, I'd want to learn something completely different to combine into new ideas.
I dropped out of an expensive online engineering course because of my interests in web design, flying planes and YouTube. Now I'm unemployed and in debt that's been paid by my welfare fund. I get paid enough on welfare to live a comfortable yet unfulfilling existence.
I achieved none of those 'whims.'

My sidewalk dad and grandma encourage me to stay on welfare because they also live off handouts, believing there's any no other way for 'genetic mistakes' to get by.
They believe the world is fixed and achieving anything is hopeless.
Whenever I say set goals for myself, they say it's impractical, or make sarcastic comments under their breath.
Sometimes, they just ignore me.
My ambitions are called 'whims.'
'Imagine you as a businessman... You don't even go anywhere... What do you need the money for anyway?... You'll soon forget business like all your other whims...'
I know that done beats doubt, but my motivation is constantly in flux, as with theirs.

I intend to save £3600 into an emergency fund, but end up spending the money ought to be saved on paying for courses I no longer take and books that only further intellectual interests.
If you were to do the math, I can only afford to either read self-help books, or travel by bus everyday for job opportunities to expand my income.
I sometimes feel motivated to work, but usually justify comforts as being 'productive'.
I'd rather do a 'productive' workout than board a bus and deal with the humiliation of a blank resume.
Usual excuses include 'I'm not ready for that right now' or, 'I need to improve my mental health first.'
These excuses are often employed when deciding to cease learning one skill for another, resulting in changing business ideas.
More excuses include 'It doesn't fit my 'purpose,' or it doesn't 'feel right.'
I know that the motivation and desire to stick to something is earned through progressing in that particular field.

My goal is to save £300 per month, working low wage jobs to increase the emergency fund until I can move out.
I'm scared of moving out because I've relied on family for everything. I don't know how I'll act, whether present vices would worsen due to loneliness. I fear having too much freedom and falling into debauchery; I fear the culture around here that allows it.
I want to live somewhere abroad, away from all this madness.
But as with the books I buy on a welfare income, the right hasn't been earned yet.

One strategy that could work for a YouTube channel is posting shorts.
In the past, I've posted shorts of my cat climbing into windows and sleeping under blankets.
They managed to accumulate over 2k views in total. One video reached 1.3k views, which was impressive because not many people usually see the content I put out.
I'm used to getting between 0-6 views and I know that any video on the passion of philosophy won't do well.
Summarizing Nietzsche and Heidegger won't serve the market, but it interests me.
Freelancing is something I want to do. I love website design and have had a keen interest in website functionality for about a year now.
My focus is all over the place. I sit down to code, get distracted and listen to music, make myself 2 cups of coffee and start reading abhorrent and grody superhero fanfiction that provides a false sense of hope.
It was arrogant of me to assume I'd become a YouTube ideas guy when results and presentation mean more to people than the ideas themselves.

The why trips me up. Why do I need to do this? Why do I need to do that? For what ends? For what means? Can't I just be happy living in mild poverty with a belly full of caffeine? Can't I just be happy in the stillness of the now?
I don't have a strong why because I don't know who I'm supposed to be. Reading philosophy makes me wonder if I even exist, or if my work will matter in the grand scheme of things.
I see a million problems and solutions everyday, yet the questions are always: 'Why bother? Will this actually make me happy? What's next?'
I talk about my desires until the fires for the present ambition have been stoked, wanting to confirm doubts and fears regarding the tasks involved. I seek to give myself permission to half-a$$ everything, then ruminate on those failures in self-pity.
I rarely think about providing value to those around me, yet become motivated by moral causes promoted by gurus; Wholesome, but the solutions aren't problems I want to solve. My authentic beliefs hold neutral views on these causes, but my ego just wants to be seen as a high performing and moral by others.

Efficiency is reached by looking in front of you, acting, then looking ahead.
I'm currently inefficient, seeking to leverage hope instead of going out there and creating my own luck.

 

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[StrikingViper69]

Focus on getting a job and sticking at it for a year. That’ll teach you how to stick with something, you’ll be earning an income and you’ll develop some skills.

 

[Andy Black]

Reading 50 books per year has put me into a state of analysis paralysis, where I'm filled with ideas for how society should be run but don't even clean my damn room. None of my current beliefs are actually my own. Whenever I listen to my pleasure-strangled brain, it becomes a foul headwind that finds security in the sidewalk's 'freedom.'
I love telling others how society should be run and assume it makes me intelligent.
I've placed myself on a pedestal by withdrawing from things that provoke failure. I have many different views and theories, but never leave the comfort zone to test and recalibrate them because it feels like pulling fingernails.
The truth is that I'm a coward.
I know that to start a skincare business, the funds can be raised through working low-income jobs and scaling up to learning a trade, or a sales job. Working for other entrepreneurs will teach you more about business in the short-term. Books can help tremendously with reaching long-term stability, but they don't always provide you with what you need right now.

I came on here with a fixed worldview created by gurus thinking I knew it all.
My first thread was a catastrophe, I was swiftly corrected for many errors with interpreting Unscripted .
My execution thread was a disaster. I failed to deliver any unique value and to create a unique product idea. I lacked the funds for the product's development with being unemployed, yet arrogance insulated the ego from adapting to new worldviews and taking criticism.
I felt that skincare clashed with my current personality. I'd rather do something artistic requiring a great deal of pattern recognition and imagination, but what?
I don't have a clue and I'm not talented at anything.
I've idealised the perfect product with the perfect result. Anything below perfection leads to more negative self-talk and excuses to go half-a$$ something else.

Inspired by gurus, I tried making a few different channels on YouTube to discuss the books I've read.
I followed passions, tricking myself into thinking this forum is shallow and limiting in its view on 'purpose.'
I almost went into the self-improvement niche, falling for obvious guru MLMs.
I realized I have nothing to add with being skinny, socially awkward and having no hobbies to gain skills (despite having many interests).
I'm in an ever-expanding desert making no progress because every skill I gain gets dropped because of shiny object syndrome.
Between High School and now I gained no power and accumulated a lot of dead time...

I was forever switching subjects in High School, incapable of focusing on one thing for prolonged periods of time. Once all the coursework had been read once, I'd want to learn something completely different to combine into new ideas.
I dropped out of an expensive online engineering course because of my interests in web design, flying planes and YouTube. Now I'm unemployed and in debt that's been paid by my welfare fund. I get paid enough on welfare to live a comfortable yet unfulfilling existence.
I achieved none of those 'whims.'

My sidewalk dad and grandma encourage me to stay on welfare because they also live off handouts, believing there's any no other way for 'genetic mistakes' to get by.
They believe the world is fixed and achieving anything is hopeless.
Whenever I say set goals for myself, they say it's impractical, or make sarcastic comments under their breath.
Sometimes, they just ignore me.
My ambitions are called 'whims.'
'Imagine you as a businessman... You don't even go anywhere... What do you need the money for anyway?... You'll soon forget business like all your other whims...'
I know that done beats doubt, but my motivation is constantly in flux, as with theirs.

I intend to save £3600 into an emergency fund, but end up spending the money ought to be saved on paying for courses I no longer take and books that only further intellectual interests.
If you were to do the math, I can only afford to either read self-help books, or travel by bus everyday for job opportunities to expand my income.
I sometimes feel motivated to work, but usually justify comforts as being 'productive'.
I'd rather do a 'productive' workout than board a bus and deal with the humiliation of a blank resume.
Usual excuses include 'I'm not ready for that right now' or, 'I need to improve my mental health first.'
These excuses are often employed when deciding to cease learning one skill for another, resulting in changing business ideas.
More excuses include 'It doesn't fit my 'purpose,' or it doesn't 'feel right.'
I know that the motivation and desire to stick to something is earned through progressing in that particular field.

My goal is to save £300 per month, working low wage jobs to increase the emergency fund until I can move out.
I'm scared of moving out because I've relied on family for everything. I don't know how I'll act, whether present vices would worsen due to loneliness. I fear having too much freedom and falling into debauchery; I fear the culture around here that allows it.
I want to live somewhere abroad, away from all this madness.
But as with the books I buy on a welfare income, the right hasn't been earned yet.

One strategy that could work for a YouTube channel is posting shorts.
In the past, I've posted shorts of my cat climbing into windows and sleeping under blankets.
They managed to accumulate over 2k views in total. One video reached 1.3k views, which was impressive because not many people usually see the content I put out.
I'm used to getting between 0-6 views and I know that any video on the passion of philosophy won't do well.
Summarizing Nietzsche and Heidegger won't serve the market, but it interests me.
Freelancing is something I want to do. I love website design and have had a keen interest in website functionality for about a year now.
My focus is all over the place. I sit down to code, get distracted and listen to music, make myself 2 cups of coffee and start reading abhorrent and grody superhero fanfiction that provides a false sense of hope.
It was arrogant of me to assume I'd become a YouTube ideas guy when results and presentation mean more to people than the ideas themselves.

The why trips me up. Why do I need to do this? Why do I need to do that? For what ends? For what means? Can't I just be happy living in mild poverty with a belly full of caffeine? Can't I just be happy in the stillness of the now?
I don't have a strong why because I don't know who I'm supposed to be. Reading philosophy makes me wonder if I even exist, or if my work will matter in the grand scheme of things.
I see a million problems and solutions everyday, yet the questions are always: 'Why bother? Will this actually make me happy? What's next?'
I talk about my desires until the fires for the present ambition have been stoked, wanting to confirm doubts and fears regarding the tasks involved. I seek to give myself permission to half-a$$ everything, then ruminate on those failures in self-pity.
I rarely think about providing value to those around me, yet become motivated by moral causes promoted by gurus; Wholesome, but the solutions aren't problems I want to solve. My authentic beliefs hold neutral views on these causes, but my ego just wants to be seen as a high performing and moral by others.

Efficiency is reached by looking in front of you, acting, then looking ahead.
I'm currently inefficient, seeking to leverage hope instead of going out there and creating my own luck.

You write well and seem to have a handle on what you're doing wrong. Can you take stock of what you've got going for you too?

What would you advise someone in your situation to do?

 

[Trismigistus]

Reading 50 books per year has put me into a state of analysis paralysis, where I'm filled with ideas for how society should be run but don't even clean my damn room. None of my current beliefs are actually my own. Whenever I listen to my pleasure-strangled brain, it becomes a foul headwind that finds security in the sidewalk's 'freedom.'
I love telling others how society should be run and assume it makes me intelligent.
I've placed myself on a pedestal by withdrawing from things that provoke failure. I have many different views and theories, but never leave the comfort zone to test and recalibrate them because it feels like pulling fingernails.
The truth is that I'm a coward.
I know that to start a skincare business, the funds can be raised through working low-income jobs and scaling up to learning a trade, or a sales job. Working for other entrepreneurs will teach you more about business in the short-term. Books can help tremendously with reaching long-term stability, but they don't always provide you with what you need right now.

I came on here with a fixed worldview created by gurus thinking I knew it all.
My first thread was a catastrophe, I was swiftly corrected for many errors with interpreting Unscripted .
My execution thread was a disaster. I failed to deliver any unique value and to create a unique product idea. I lacked the funds for the product's development with being unemployed, yet arrogance insulated the ego from adapting to new worldviews and taking criticism.
I felt that skincare clashed with my current personality. I'd rather do something artistic requiring a great deal of pattern recognition and imagination, but what?
I don't have a clue and I'm not talented at anything.
I've idealised the perfect product with the perfect result. Anything below perfection leads to more negative self-talk and excuses to go half-a$$ something else.

Inspired by gurus, I tried making a few different channels on YouTube to discuss the books I've read.
I followed passions, tricking myself into thinking this forum is shallow and limiting in its view on 'purpose.'
I almost went into the self-improvement niche, falling for obvious guru MLMs.
I realized I have nothing to add with being skinny, socially awkward and having no hobbies to gain skills (despite having many interests).
I'm in an ever-expanding desert making no progress because every skill I gain gets dropped because of shiny object syndrome.
Between High School and now I gained no power and accumulated a lot of dead time...

I was forever switching subjects in High School, incapable of focusing on one thing for prolonged periods of time. Once all the coursework had been read once, I'd want to learn something completely different to combine into new ideas.
I dropped out of an expensive online engineering course because of my interests in web design, flying planes and YouTube. Now I'm unemployed and in debt that's been paid by my welfare fund. I get paid enough on welfare to live a comfortable yet unfulfilling existence.
I achieved none of those 'whims.'

My sidewalk dad and grandma encourage me to stay on welfare because they also live off handouts, believing there's any no other way for 'genetic mistakes' to get by.
They believe the world is fixed and achieving anything is hopeless.
Whenever I say set goals for myself, they say it's impractical, or make sarcastic comments under their breath.
Sometimes, they just ignore me.
My ambitions are called 'whims.'
'Imagine you as a businessman... You don't even go anywhere... What do you need the money for anyway?... You'll soon forget business like all your other whims...'
I know that done beats doubt, but my motivation is constantly in flux, as with theirs.

I intend to save £3600 into an emergency fund, but end up spending the money ought to be saved on paying for courses I no longer take and books that only further intellectual interests.
If you were to do the math, I can only afford to either read self-help books, or travel by bus everyday for job opportunities to expand my income.
I sometimes feel motivated to work, but usually justify comforts as being 'productive'.
I'd rather do a 'productive' workout than board a bus and deal with the humiliation of a blank resume.
Usual excuses include 'I'm not ready for that right now' or, 'I need to improve my mental health first.'
These excuses are often employed when deciding to cease learning one skill for another, resulting in changing business ideas.
More excuses include 'It doesn't fit my 'purpose,' or it doesn't 'feel right.'
I know that the motivation and desire to stick to something is earned through progressing in that particular field.

My goal is to save £300 per month, working low wage jobs to increase the emergency fund until I can move out.
I'm scared of moving out because I've relied on family for everything. I don't know how I'll act, whether present vices would worsen due to loneliness. I fear having too much freedom and falling into debauchery; I fear the culture around here that allows it.
I want to live somewhere abroad, away from all this madness.
But as with the books I buy on a welfare income, the right hasn't been earned yet.

One strategy that could work for a YouTube channel is posting shorts.
In the past, I've posted shorts of my cat climbing into windows and sleeping under blankets.
They managed to accumulate over 2k views in total. One video reached 1.3k views, which was impressive because not many people usually see the content I put out.
I'm used to getting between 0-6 views and I know that any video on the passion of philosophy won't do well.
Summarizing Nietzsche and Heidegger won't serve the market, but it interests me.
Freelancing is something I want to do. I love website design and have had a keen interest in website functionality for about a year now.
My focus is all over the place. I sit down to code, get distracted and listen to music, make myself 2 cups of coffee and start reading abhorrent and grody superhero fanfiction that provides a false sense of hope.
It was arrogant of me to assume I'd become a YouTube ideas guy when results and presentation mean more to people than the ideas themselves.

The why trips me up. Why do I need to do this? Why do I need to do that? For what ends? For what means? Can't I just be happy living in mild poverty with a belly full of caffeine? Can't I just be happy in the stillness of the now?
I don't have a strong why because I don't know who I'm supposed to be. Reading philosophy makes me wonder if I even exist, or if my work will matter in the grand scheme of things.
I see a million problems and solutions everyday, yet the questions are always: 'Why bother? Will this actually make me happy? What's next?'
I talk about my desires until the fires for the present ambition have been stoked, wanting to confirm doubts and fears regarding the tasks involved. I seek to give myself permission to half-a$$ everything, then ruminate on those failures in self-pity.
I rarely think about providing value to those around me, yet become motivated by moral causes promoted by gurus; Wholesome, but the solutions aren't problems I want to solve. My authentic beliefs hold neutral views on these causes, but my ego just wants to be seen as a high performing and moral by others.

Efficiency is reached by looking in front of you, acting, then looking ahead.
I'm currently inefficient, seeking to leverage hope instead of going out there and creating my own luck.

It really seems like you have truly examined yourself and your situation. MJ really puts out the content you need in his books, hes a F*cking great philosopher, he truly gives you the tools to unfuck your mind, but it wont be easy. Fighting yourself will be one of the hardest battles youll ever face. You will have to fight yourself forever, the devil on your shoulder will always be there. You have to find your why and the rest will follow. But perhaps I could suggest something, go back and re-read your post, to me you sound so miserable with your life and situation, I could be wrong. But use those emotions and situation as motivation, arent you sick and tired of feeling like this? MJ has shined a light on the shit in your mind that you must defeat, and I can see you using that light in your post. Try saying to yourself, F*ck THIS, IM TIRED OF FEELING AND LIVING LIKE THIS. Then do whatever it takes to make your goals happen. This process takes a lot of self reflection to breakout of the scripted mindset. Let your suffering be your FTE. Do the things MJ says, examine yourself, use the 3 bulldozers and bury the shit in your mind!

 

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[MakeItHappen]

I want to live somewhere abroad, away from all this madness.

Things won't be easier abroad. If you don't get your shit together

The why trips me up. Why do I need to do this? Why do I need to do that? For what ends? For what means? Can't I just be happy living in mild poverty with a belly full of caffeine? Can't I just be happy in the stillness of the now?
I don't have a strong why because I don't know who I'm supposed to be.

You don't need to do anything. But if you want something you have to do something that other people want you to do.

Focus on getting a job and sticking at it for a year. That’ll teach you how to stick with something, you’ll be earning an income and you’ll develop some skills.

Can't disagree here. Starting a business is tough. It's way tougher when you have a hard time getting your shit together.
Maybe look for a job in an industry in which you would like to start your own business later on.

 

[GoldenGlow]

You write well and seem to have a handle on what you're doing wrong. Can you take stock of what you've got going for you too?

What would you advise someone in your situation to do?

What have I currently got going for me:

• I’m starting a voluntary job on the sales floor of a charity shop soon. I’ll be working on window displays and greeting customers, enticing them to make purchases, and getting involved in charity events. I’ll learn the psychology of selling and influence from this, gaining more skills.

• Even if I have been inspired by gurus, at least I have role models to look up to. Also, I’m not following the conventional advice that 90% of people follow because the gurus have influenced my beliefs, but only within their sales funnel. Practical skills must be learned, but I want to gain these experiences.

• I already have knowledge in many complex fields including web design, marketing, business, aerodynamics, organic chemistry, skincare, UX, and writing. I can create a business that meets the demand of entry through unique branding; Especially since I love unconventional, novel ideas. I can grasp new subjects easily if they interest me, combining the knowledge with what has previously been learned.

What would you advise someone in your situation to do:

• Stop half-assing your job search. Push through discomfort by remaining mindful when swallowing the frog.

• Replace watching YouTube with job searching. Make that the primary focus.

• Make a game out of job searching so the habit sticks. My habits have always been more consistent whenever they’ve been gamified. Habit tracking apps are useful for this and you’ll actually use technology to your advantage rather than to your detriment.

• Set a budget and implement a punishment system (like 300 situps) when surpassing the monthly allowance.

• Give value for free. If there’s a voluntary job at an animal shelter, take it. Do whatever you can to build your skills and CV to provide more value and enter into fields instead of overthinking. The money will come as you gain more skills and become more disciplined by showing up. Your identity and values will change too, so there’s no point relying on personality types because that method hasn’t been working for you. Your current identity is based on past mistakes and confidence deficiencies. It’s a monkey brain that will quieten as you progress in your job search.

• Keep your plans secret from your family. Let your results speak for themselves. Also, their criticism is as valid as anyone else’s because they are consumers. They want you to create a business making products that meet their needs. If the results and process are unclear, they have a right to provide honest feedback. You should keep your identity small and practice stoicism instead of blaming everyone and sulking in your room blasting out depressioncore music.

• Be grateful for having a family, don’t place blame on them. Just because your family is comfortable following the Script, it doesn’t mean they’re bad people. Don’t expect them to change through words but through actions.

• If your purpose involves using future wealth to alter your welfare family’s circumstances, then you should reconsider what will give you the greatest amount of meaning in the world because you don’t know why you want to enter the Fastlane. Journal every day and question whether your current beliefs make sense to you. For example, how would you retire a dad on welfare? Isn’t he already retired? You have some great purposes

• Re-read the books you have, in particular the ones that you struggle to implement. Ask the Fastlane Forum for advice on building better habits (Atomic Habits) and feedback on key areas you should focus on (Essentialism). Execute and recalibrate on a micro-scale for practice with the macro-scale of business. Leverage your assets the same way as a business through scale and magnitude. Treat yourself like a business, and you’ll create a respectable brand with better projects.

• Re-read Unscripted by MJ DeMarco every few months to gain new perspectives and meanings from it. Other books on business and finance can be summarised from Fastlane Forum comments or Hormozi videos.

• Whenever you encounter a problem on the Forum, ask yourself how you would solve it. Then you can either offer solutions, or you can keep a business ideas journal to take notes.

• Sometimes your actions need time to catch up to developing beliefs, noticing patterns between problems will allow creative ideas to grow naturally. Failure is when you stop making moves. Rome wasn’t built in a day; Your habits, budget, job search, Fastlane feedback, and business ideas journal are your process.

• Stop lurking on the Fourm, upvoting every post you encounter, and instead express gratitude to the OP. Don’t binge-follow people.

• Become present whenever you binge-scroll or read fanfiction. You can choose to turn feelings of pleasure into feelings of guilt, thus creating FTMs. Emotional control is a trait that all the top entrepreneurs have and is an important tool in your process.

• Stop worrying whether it exists or not, concern yourself with whether it’s useful. Examples include mindsets (oh, but free will blah blah blah) and emotional intelligence (why put themselves in their shoes if I’m naturally disagreeable and there’s only one type of intelligence blah, blah, blah). If it creates discomfort, then it’s probably what you need right now. The beliefs you currently hold are accurate scientifically and make you very fun at parties in an empty room. They’re making you miserable. Polarise yourself.

 

[StrikingViper69]

What have I currently got going for me:

I already have knowledge in many complex fields including web design, marketing, business, aerodynamics, organic chemistry, skincare, UX, and writing. I can create a business that meets the demand of entry through unique branding; Especially since I love unconventional, novel ideas. I can grasp new subjects easily if they interest me, combining the knowledge with what has previously been learned.

When you say knowledge in aerodynamics/chemistry, do you mean you've completed a college degree in the subjects? Or that you watched some YouTube videos?

Web design: How many websites have you made?

How many marketing campaigns have you run? What were the results?

UX: How many websites have you designed that were eventually made?

 

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[The-J]

The why trips me up. Why do I need to do this? Why do I need to do that? For what ends? For what means? Can't I just be happy living in mild poverty with a belly full of caffeine? Can't I just be happy in the stillness of the now?

You don't need to do anything. Everyone here has their own reasons for moving. People who can't find a reason to move, simply don't move. The movers ignore those who aren't moving. This community is a community of movers. So, respectfully, if you're not going to try, you should leave.

But it sounds like you want to try but don't know how.

You also may consider looking into getting a diagnosis for ADHD. What you describe is pretty on brand with ADHD: being intensely interested in something until the interest flitters away and you're onto something else. The result is a person who never lives up to their potential, regardless of their intelligence, skills, or motivation. Successful people with ADHD get a "boost" from the initial intense interest, and seek small rewards (which they feel more intensely than others) to keep the fire going. Eventually, it becomes a habit, ingrained in their identity. ADHD is a superpower, but the way most people live with it keeps them stuck forever.

I'm not a doctor.

I see a million problems and solutions everyday, yet the questions are always: 'Why bother? Will this actually make me happy? What's next?'

If you're looking outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy, you've already lost.

My sidewalk dad and grandma encourage me to stay on welfare because they also live off handouts, believing there's any no other way for 'genetic mistakes' to get by.
They believe the world is fixed and achieving anything is hopeless.
Whenever I say set goals for myself, they say it's impractical, or make sarcastic comments under their breath.
Sometimes, they just ignore me.
My ambitions are called 'whims.'
'Imagine you as a businessman... You don't even go anywhere... What do you need the money for anyway?... You'll soon forget business like all your other whims...'
I know that done beats doubt, but my motivation is constantly in flux, as with theirs.

LEAVE. That environment will get you nowhere. You will never succeed with people like that speaking into your ear! And to do that, you need to make some money outside of the dole. Get a job, any job. Make a plan to get out of your current situation. Get out, even if it means living in a 1 bedroom flat with 3 other people (ideally motivated people).

 

[GoldenGlow]

When you say knowledge in aerodynamics/chemistry, do you mean you've completed a college degree in the subjects? Or that you watched some YouTube videos?

Web design: How many websites have you made?

How many marketing campaigns have you run? What were the results?

UX: How many websites have you designed that were eventually made?

I watched some videos on YouTube with the intention of acquiring a plane license and creating skincare products.
I code websites using HTML and CSS and have watched videos/read books on the subject with the intention of freelancing those skills on Fiverr.
I haven't run any marketing campaigns or achieved any results, fearing losing money.
None, I designed a few drafts and left them lying around the house never to be found.

Measuring success by external standards, there's nothing going for me and it's a source of great shame.

 

[GoldenGlow]

You don't need to do anything. Everyone here has their own reasons for moving. People who can't find a reason to move, simply don't move. The movers ignore those who aren't moving. This community is a community of movers. So, respectfully, if you're not going to try, you should leave.

But it sounds like you want to try but don't know how.

You also may consider looking into getting a diagnosis for ADHD. What you describe is pretty on brand with ADHD: being intensely interested in something until the interest flitters away and you're onto something else. The result is a person who never lives up to their potential, regardless of their intelligence, skills, or motivation. Successful people with ADHD get a "boost" from the initial intense interest, and seek small rewards (which they feel more intensely than others) to keep the fire going. Eventually, it becomes a habit, ingrained in their identity. ADHD is a superpower, but the way most people live with it keeps them stuck forever.

I'm not a doctor.



If you're looking outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy, you've already lost.



LEAVE. That environment will get you nowhere. You will never succeed with people like that speaking into your ear! And to do that, you need to make some money outside of the dole. Get a job, any job. Make a plan to get out of your current situation. Get out, even if it means living in a 1 bedroom flat with 3 other people (ideally motivated people).

I was staying with my mum in her boyfriend's mother's bungalow whilst reading the Millionaire Fastlane and found the environment to be even worse. Mum and her boyfriend would constantly argue with me, becoming offended by my lectures on personal responsibility. Furthermore, he suffers from depression and borderline personality disorder. Both of them do. I had to talk them out of committing suicide whilst I was up there. Mum's boyfriend's mother feared losing her bungalow to the council because of overcrowding. She gave me two days to stop there and if I wanted to stay beyond that period of time, mum would have to seek emergency housing from the council. She would have to leave with her boyfriend and I. Their behavior was intolerable, he would verbally abuse my mum all the time and she later told me that he sometimes becomes physically violent, but it's unclear whether she was lying because of her disorder.

I decided moving with them to the roughest area of the UK was a DARE and promptly returned to my dad's house to finish reading the Millionaire Fastlane . Their victim mindsets were stronger than my dad's and grandma's and their bungalow was so small that there was no way to block out the noise of him playing videogames and engage in focused deep work, the nearest cafe over there was a bus ride away! Due to falling out with mum's boyfriend, I'm unwelcome there again. I'm currently on such crappy terms with my mum that it's unlikely she'll send Birthday and Christmas presents this year.

Moving into an environment with others is an intention of mine, but I usually don't follow through on those intentions. My dad's cousins cut me off under the presupposition that this side of the family has no potential due to being Sidewalkers whilst they're in the Slowlane. I wanted to work for my dad's uncle, studying a trade under him so I could learn heavy machinery. He's not as hospitable as I had assumed. Other than that, I lack contacts. I'll have to pay for uni because I'm on the sidewalk and it's not a good idea because so many different intentions are there to half-a$$ everything at once.

 

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[GoldenGlow]

Update:
I'll keep you updated in this thread on my job and housing search progress.
Following a 2-hour shouting match with my dad, he agreed to help me move out. We'll visit the council offices as soon as possible. This will initially be family-funded, but I'll work to improve my finances to earn independence and raise capital for businesses. I've got nothing going for me right now. This will be the first step towards actualizing the unscripted life.

 

[GoldenGlow]

New accountability thread:

MINDSET - EXECUTION - HEALTH - GoldenGlow's Accountability Thread 2023

Why I’m posting this thread Focus and mental clarity. . Seasoned entrepreneurs can watch the watcher far better than I can right now, so they can help guide my focus back to the habits conducive to attaining results. They can also aid me in forming systems conducive to long-term success, rather...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

 

[Pink Sheep]

I watched some videos on YouTube with the intention of acquiring a plane license and creating skincare products.

Could you in stead just provide skincare services with other existing products?
Very easy to get started, and you can make yourself a job, earn enough to make your own product, and go from there.

Start small with helping just one person with their skin, aim for the stars.

 

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