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I'm so tired

Rincewind

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Hi guys,

I'm registered here since 2016 and was quite inactive here during the last years. When I posted here the last time, I was still freelancing. Lots of stuff happened since then.

  • I started an engineering service business together with my wife. We develop IoT products for german medium size businesses
  • We were profitable since the first month, scaled from 30k (2016) to 100k (2017) to 300k (2018) and should reach 900k by end of the year. So far we re-invested mostly everything into growth, so there is only a little profit yet.
  • We hired our first employee 2017 and have grown to 17 people (including 1 designer, 1 UX and 1 assistant). Some of them work work part time, so we are really "only" 9 FTE
  • We got our second child a few weeks after starting the company
  • We moved into a larger office this year
  • I started networking into the old economy around Hamburg, I'm part of the local chamber of commerce for example and I'm very well connected
  • I started a podcast and interview business leaders every other week, I have 62 interviews online and get to meet CEOs of large companies and directors of DAX level companies. I use this podcast partly to get visibility and partly as a cold-calling tool to meet interesting prospects. We could have much more downloads but I did not spend much time into online marketing the content yet.
  • We invested into to a startup (sweat equity) very early after founding the company. This startup has grown into the security industry of south africa, reached break even this month and will raise a 3-5 Mio Series A early next year
  • We implemented all processes in our engineering company completely remote-capable, we can tackle projects with 3x our internal capacity. We find the freelance talent via upwork and our local network. We can provide work worth 3+ mio at full scale now and have fixed cost of "only" 700k.
If I think long enough I could continue here forever what happened in the last 2-3 years and almost everything is great. We have two wonderful, happy and healthy kids. I'm married and I we run the company together, so we spend lots of time together. We have a running, profitable company, we have a really great work culture and provide wonderful work places to 17 of the nicest and most intelligent people I know. And we provide massive value to our customers and help them launching the products they need tomorrow.

And: I'm so F*cking tired. Since we hired our assistant I got down from working 80h weeks to perhaps working 50h weeks. But there is no space in my life where I can stop for some time without some fire breaking out. At home I only have to wait 30s until one of the kids launches chaos and madness, at work we're still dealing with the scaling from 6 to 17 people in 9 months and there is not much life left aside the company and the kids.

And: I know that a professional services firm without any tweaks is not fastlane at all. Currently I'm working way too much and if I would stop working everything would stop. Sales is coupled to my person far too much and in the end we are replaceable by any other software services company with some smart guys and perhaps a CEO without kids...

I started learning about real estate two years ago, want to invest here and don't find any time at all to go scouting. We are even active in our chuch community and will perhaps get notice when some elderly people will move out of their homes and want to sell. But I don't have the time to deal with just another topic right now. I also learned about selling stock options and just stumbled across MJ's thread. I wanted to start exactly that strategy one year ago and even created a trading account where I can sell naked options and put 10k into it early this year. But I don't find the time to really commit to it and take the time to practice and start.

In this moment I don't even know which question I want to ask and why a write here. I know here are many very intelligent people and many of you have been at my current point in life. I know I achieved a lot and I created a truly great starting point to go fastlane from here. But I'm so tired. I have a hectic life at the moment with two very small kids and I just don't know how to get to the next level from here. I don't even know what the next level would look like.

In the next few years my engineering company will mature, we will develop our processes, I will hire some sales person, we will start making solid profits. I have all the todos and I know I will do it. We will scale our security startup some more and sell it in a few years and make a very good return on our initial invest. Our 75k grew by 10x on paper today, I expect to sell our shares for 3+ mio when we're ready. Our kids will grow up, go to school and someday stop interrupting me every 3,27 seconds when I'm in sight. Someday I will find the time to sell my first stock option and someday I will by my first real estate invest. I will even sell our family Volvo V70 and buy an 911 when I can travel with less stuff.

The perspective is quite good. And it is not fastlane. And I'm tired and frustrated.

When you had this situation as a starting point - what would you do with that?

P.S. I started playing golf this year and get our once a week for half a day and I get to the office with my bike 1-2x per week. I drink alcohol only on weekends and I'm not in a bad physical shape. It could be much better but it's not bad.
 
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srodrigo

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This is the old Services vs Products companies. You've got the former, and it's more a job for yourself than something that can easily remove your time from the equation. Go for the later.
 

Sandholdt

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Do you currently have the financials to hire an experienced leader to take care of your employees and who can extinguish some of those fires you mention?

And even if you can't find a profile who can take care of ALL of your activities, could they maybe do 50, 60 or 70%?

Remember, if you have an employee who can do a job just 80% as good as you - Delegate, and see them grow. That will allow you to do the 80/20 activities for your business.
 

Rincewind

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This is the old Services vs Products companies. You've got the former, and it's more a job for yourself than something that can easily remove your time from the equation. Go for the later.

Yes, that's true. Before starting the services business I tried long years to start "my own product" and never found a working idea. So I came back to my skills (inventing & creating products and bringing together great teams) and started the engineering company. Somehow I still need someone with the market insight to come up with feasible products. But I will definitely start looking in this direction again.

Do you currently have the financials to hire an experienced leader to take care of your employees and who can extinguish some of those fires you mention?

And even if you can't find a profile who can take care of ALL of your activities, could they maybe do 50, 60 or 70%?

Remember, if you have an employee who can do a job just 80% as good as you - Delegate, and see them grow. That will allow you to do the 80/20 activities for your business.

Hiring a full time leader would be too much right now since we just scaled up and still need to grow into the new size. But I already started delegating lots of stuff to my employees, for example leading the projects. Most of the current fires are only the left overs coming from the latest growth phase. I see my working hours drop every week, so I think I'm on a good way here.

My biggest problem is the vision. The fastlane book got me finally away from freelancing and selling my time and I'm happy with my progress so far. But my current business is not a fastlane business and that's frustrating.
 
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Ocean Man

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Consider reading “built to sell” and “the ultimate blueprint for an insanely successful business”. You’re burning yourself out and these books may help you out.
 

Rincewind

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Consider reading “built to sell” and “the ultimate blueprint for an insanely successful business”. You’re burning yourself out and these books may help you out.

I had built to sell on my wishlist already and did not know the other yet. I will read both, thank you for the suggestion!
 

iizu

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So you're developing IoT products for other companies?

Why don't you start developing your own IoT product. You have the team and you have the market insight. Have most your guys work on client projects and assemble a small team to start working on some new idea.

No experience from this, but this just seems like the most obvious solution. Rather than trying to learn real estate, options trading and working on some security start-up.
 
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Sadik

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Your post reminded me of Derek Sivers and his book "Anything you want". In that book he writes how he was being consumed by continuously every decision being dependent on him and then how he basically created documentation for his employees to know what to do in every situation and he even left the city because he was so fed up! Read that book. And Derek is a great guy. He would probably reply if you emailed him.
 

Rincewind

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Why don't you start developing your own IoT product. You have the team and you have the market insight. Have most your guys work on client projects and assemble a small team to start working on some new idea.

I think about own products often, but I don't have too deep market insights into most markets. I was working for engineering companies as an employee, as a freelancer and now as owner of one. So I know how to develop products but I never worked long enough in any industry to really know the pain points there.

I know it sounds like a limiting belief and surely is one, but I'm stuck here.

Your post reminded me of Derek Sivers and his book "Anything you want". In that book he writes how he was being consumed by continuously every decision being dependent on him and then how he basically created documentation for his employees to know what to do in every situation and he even left the city because he was so fed up! Read that book. And Derek is a great guy. He would probably reply if you emailed him.

I will read that book, thank you for the suggestion. I'm already on a very good way delegation stuff and decisions. I will think about getting myself out of all processes in the future.
 

Andy Black

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I second Derek Sivers wee book. It’s good on Audible too.

“Built to Sell” is good too. I didn’t like it on Audible, so check you can live with the narrator. In a nutshell, you’re not selling your product, you’re selling your business.

Anyway... from everything you wrote it sounds like you’re doing very well, but trying to do too much. I see the real estate investing threads, and the trading threads, but I don’t even open them.

Also... what stood out most was this:
Our kids will grow up, go to school and someday stop interrupting me every 3,27 seconds when I'm in sight.

Don’t blink. It will happen sooo fast, and you may wish you’d appreciated the now a bit more.


What does your ideal week look like?

I’ve been trying to create mine here:
 
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Andy Black

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You’re ahead of me in that I only have a handful in my team. But that’s all I want.

This thread might be helpful:
 

Primeperiwinkle

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Ive written and rewritten this post three times.. can’t say this tactfully.. just throw out my advice entirely if it’s all wrong. Ok?

I think it’s the kids, or rather, the idea that you’re doing all this stuff and you have an endless stretch of hyper needy little ppl who demand your attention and won’t be enjoyable any time soon.

It’s like, Ppl want this great life but when they’re technically living it... the reality doesn’t necessarily match what their happy little vision was, at all. A lot of parents do NOT discuss the drain their beloved precious perfect children have on them so they feel increasing guilt and frustration about how stressed they are because of the kids.

If I’m right at all about how you feel my next questions would be..

Have you and your wife developed a clear plan for raising obedient calm respectful kids?
 
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Rincewind

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Also... what stood out most was this:
...
Don’t blink. It will happen sooo fast, and you may wish you’d appreciated the now a bit more.

What does your ideal week look like?
I’ve been trying to create mine here:

I really like the design of your week. I have a similar but slightly more chaotic setup. But I also have all mornings, mostly all weekends and most evenings with my family. And I take the kids to sport several times a week.

But yes, you're right. Time moves so fast and sometimes I don't appreciate everything I have. I will think about that.

You’re ahead of me in that I only have a handful in my team. But that’s all I want.

This thread might be helpful:

I will read the thread and I really hope to get my business more towards product. So far I try to co-found startups and invest via sweat equity.

I never understood this "tired and no time"-problem
You work for another 3-5 years and can basically retire on the company. That´s quite fastlane.

Glad you say that. Perhaps I just got my first moment to reflect and breathe in 3 years and see things way to negative. I'm just irritated that I did what I planned and still feel as if I'm on the slowlane. And I have to survive the next 3-5 years :) If I slow down today and don't continue my retirement strategy from the company, there will be no fastlane for me.

I think it’s the kids, or rather, the idea that you’re doing all this stuff and you have an endless stretch of hyper needy little ppl who demand your attention and won’t be enjoyable any time soon.

It’s like, Ppl want this great life but when they’re technically living it... the reality doesn’t necessarily match what their happy little vision was, at all.
...

Have you and your wife developed a clear plan for raising obedient calm respectful kids?

Its a yes and a no at the same time. My kids are just perfect and we try to raise them just obidient enough to get along with others, mostly we want them to be curious and interested in the world. They are happy, healthy and we have a great time most of the time. But yes, they demand a lot of attention. That's fine, we wanted kids so we will not place them in front of the TV until they grow up.

Right now its very demanding raising two children together and growing a company together at the same time. On the other hand we did not want to postpone children until we're 40 or dream of starting a company until we're 40. Its what we decided to to and it is just even harder and takes longer than expected.
 

Andy Black

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“Work Less, Earn More” by James Schramko is excellent too.

Some other lines I bear in mind:
  • “Start how you mean to continue.” If your goal is to work 20 hour weeks, then will you ever get there if you’re working 90 hour weeks? Are you kidding yourself that you’ll ever drop the hours down?
  • “I refuse to spend less time with my kids now so I can spend more time with them later.” This is my own personal one. Your mileage may vary.
  • “You can’t steer a parked car.” (James Schramko). You’re already in motion, so it’s much easier to change direction.
  • “Commit, then figure it out.” I’m setting up my ideal week, then will figure out how to grow my business within the constraints set.
 

Rincewind

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“Work Less, Earn More” by James Schramko is excellent too.

“Start how you mean to continue.” If your goal is to work 20 hour weeks, then will you ever get there if you’re working 90 hour weeks? Are you kidding yourself that you’ll ever drop the hours down?

That's a good point. I started with 20 hours/week and then the company took of and over night I was working 80 hours. But I'm getting back to healthy hours because I started there :)
 
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