My introduction... I failed and I'm tired

[avinash32]

Namaste

My name is Avinash and I’m originally from a poor area in India

I've been for a while a lurker on this forum but now I decided to write my story
I don't know why I write it, perhaps because I hope someone will understand me and give me some life-changing advice
Sorry for my english sir
I also posted on reddit but I think it is the most toxic website these days, you have to beg the moderators to allow your posts, people downvote and make fun of you for no reason

Let me say I was a fragile and shy kid
My parents taught me to be good in school and respect everyone
They are good people but unfortunately they worked hard all their lives and are still poor
I acknowledge them authority and pleased them
I was the best in school, best grades teacher liked me they told me I will do great in the future for sure
I won numerous school competitions, olympiads and other things
I was also bullied a lot because of my kind and reserved nature by both guys and girls


At 18 I was hired as a customer service representative
I did good but the boss was strange at times because he praised me today, but tomorrow he gave me hell for no reason. He loved to act like that to its employees. After 1 year and half I got fired along other 2 guys because the boss told us he has some money problems. Then I worked part time in a cafe but the experience was also pretty bad
Maybe I’m just unlucky, maybe people tend to be the worst to guys with anxiety like me
No idea, but at 20 years old I understood that I want to work for myself, to be my own boss
Because I was bullied and had low self esteem I also told myself I want to do good and useful things for society so I can prove I’m not a loser and to leave something behind me after I die
But most importantly, I want to be financially independent
I grew up in poverty and I know what it feels like to have no electricity or clean water
My parents worked hard all their life but are still poor and get no respect for being hard honest working people
Meanwhile, here people with lot of money are respected regardless of their character traits and they do whatever they want regardless of the law

I set myself the goal of becoming a millionaire by the age of 33
I’m 32 years old this year and I’m tired and feel like I want to disappear like Houdini's elephant

No matter what I try, I fail

And believe me I tried a lot of things in these past years

First, I have read many many many books on entrepreneurship, marketing, copywriting, sales, negotiation you name it everything to improve my mindset and knowledge and I did a lot of courses on platforms like udemy coursera khan academy skillshare edx and many more

Entrepreneurs who started with nothing and became rich inspire me like Dhirubhai Ambani, Ramesh Babu, Naina Lal Kidwai, Laxmi Mittal, Byju Raveendran, Konosuke Matsushita, Sam Walton ofc MJ DeMarco to name a few

Now let me present you randomly few examples of what I tried:

- first of course I tried “beermoney” things but it’s impossible to make a living of it let alone become rich, its just slavery for low money

- learned wordpress and how to create website on it ( tried as freelance but no clients )

- learned html, css and javascript and understand how to create websites from scratch ( tried as freelance but no clients )

- learned java and made some apps for android but almost no downloads

- learned swift and made apps for iphones, I borrowed friend mac to be able to do it and worked together with him but again few downloads

- learned python and machine learning and did some apps like photorealistic image generation or image-super resolution using A.I. but again low downloads

- learned c# and unity, c++ and unreal, and gdscript and godot and made various videogames I published on itch for free but again almost no downloads

to be able to make games, I also self learned photoshop, maya 3d, zbrush, substance painter and few other software

- invested some money I had in cryptocurrency like shiba but i failed

- made account on gumroad and published some ebooks in education category, but no sales

- made account on mintable and uploaded some nft but nobody bought them

- made youtube account and made funny videos compilation and motivational videos, but almost no views

- learned cyber security to become a bug bounty hunter but its impossible the competition is to damn high, there are people with ten + years of experience and it’s very hard to find a new bug before them, it will be duplicate

- and a lot of other things



If you ask me “what do I like the most’ I don’t know what to answer you

I like IT stuff, to work on computer but I want to be my own boss and do my own thing

I guess I like making PC games but is all about luck, it’s the "who you know" thing, like I just read recently about writer Dr. Seuss the guy who wrote “cat in the hat”, his book was rejected by a lot of publisher, J’K Rowling Harry Potter book also was rejected many times so even if you do something of good quality it doesn't mean you will succeed, you also need to have luck

And for some reason the universe doesn't want me to get lucky

I know I'm complaining, but what can I do?

I've tried everything and still to no avail



I have low motivation these days and I feel like i have no reason to breathe oxygen

I feel like im good for nothing

Only want to be very rich, is the only thing I care about in this life and I’m willing to die for it

Don't get me wrong I don't care about the money, but I care about the life you can have because of the money
A friend's grandfather died because they had no money to pay to hospital
In many places in the world if you don't have money you don't exist

I envy people who are born rich and do whatever they want, or people who have luck and accomplish their objectives with little to no work

Most guys I know are not interested in entrepreneurship, only care about party, sex, drinking stuff like that or they have family and spends time with wife and their kids

I hate social media and I will never try nsfw things or illegal hacking things because I don’t want to make money that way

But it seems no matter I try I always fail

I don’t know what to do

Maybe I’m just no good at all

I failed and I’m tired

 

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[zhangmin_007]

watch thi svideo,may be help you.

View: https://youtu.be/B9XGUpQZY38?list=LL

 

[RoadTrip]

Hi Avinash,

To me it seems like your introverted personality is holding you back. I would highly suggest you start listining to @Kak radio show (Kyle Keegan Radio Show). He often touches the subject of introvert vs extravert and what you can do to get your voice into the world.

It's sad that your parents worked so hard and are still poor. However, it serves as a great example and motivator for you. Even more so because you probably want to show your parents there is a better way.

Now what I notice immediately from what you post is that you have learned a lot of technical stuff. Which probably suits your personality best. So let's assume your technical development skills are there.

Now what is even more important than technical skills, is having clients that pay for those skills. And that is the part where you are failing. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but that is probably also the part that you like to do less and spent less time on than gaining your development skills (which is very time consuming to learn).

You have to turn this around. Put clients or needs first, then put your technical skills to use. You really have to focus on the need side. This is why you are failing. If you do not see a need now, gain some experience in a certain niche. Can you get a job as a software or AI developer? It's not bad to have a job first. And I also believe it will get you some confidence, and you feel useful. In the meantime you can work on any side business you like.

 

[Jobless]

Count the amount of times you used the word "I" / "Me" in your post. This language is indicative of depression. Also, think about what you mean when you write "try". When you "try" something, you signal to yourself that you do not trust your own abilities.

My advice would be to first solve your internal issues, so you no longer feel desperate and can focus on the needs of other people. When you act desperate you tend to jump from one shiny object to the next. You need to focus on a specific need (not a personal need) and how to fulfill that for a paying customer. The choice of technical tools / marketing matter only after you have established that there is a strong need.

 

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[farouqali]

Hey Avinash,
I would like to say this "its a You against You". your attitude Vs will to preserver .
Why this phrase and where will it lead you....
i understand your situation, you are trying things that are awesome.. but you 1st find a place you can showcase your skill (you have technical skills) or find people whom you can tutor from the skillsets you hold. Along the way you need money so you should get a job. develop your skills on dealing with people, how to sell, your social skills personally (off-line). start serving your parents (do things that don't require money, but build harmony and love) "thats where blessings are born"

 

[woken]

Let me start by saying that this, like always, won’t be the same advice other people will give you. People disagree with me on this but I keep repeating this when necessary, because is the best thing for someone in your position.

Move.

A willing to work/learn attitude is all you need.
There’s people doing nothing in the US/UK waiting for the check from the government.

Look into moving out. I know you would like to make it there, but your circumstances don’t work in your favour.

There’s nothing wrong with moving countries, getting a job to support yourself and to bootstrap your ideas.

 

[Kevin88660]

Namaste

My name is Avinash and I’m originally from a poor area in India

I've been for a while a lurker on this forum but now I decided to write my story
I don't know why I write it, perhaps because I hope someone will understand me and give me some life-changing advice
Sorry for my english sir
I also posted on reddit but I think it is the most toxic website these days, you have to beg the moderators to allow your posts, people downvote and make fun of you for no reason

Let me say I was a fragile and shy kid
My parents taught me to be good in school and respect everyone
They are good people but unfortunately they worked hard all their lives and are still poor
I acknowledge them authority and pleased them
I was the best in school, best grades teacher liked me they told me I will do great in the future for sure
I won numerous school competitions, olympiads and other things
I was also bullied a lot because of my kind and reserved nature by both guys and girls


At 18 I was hired as a customer service representative
I did good but the boss was strange at times because he praised me today, but tomorrow he gave me hell for no reason. He loved to act like that to its employees. After 1 year and half I got fired along other 2 guys because the boss told us he has some money problems. Then I worked part time in a cafe but the experience was also pretty bad
Maybe I’m just unlucky, maybe people tend to be the worst to guys with anxiety like me
No idea, but at 20 years old I understood that I want to work for myself, to be my own boss
Because I was bullied and had low self esteem I also told myself I want to do good and useful things for society so I can prove I’m not a loser and to leave something behind me after I die
But most importantly, I want to be financially independent
I grew up in poverty and I know what it feels like to have no electricity or clean water
My parents worked hard all their life but are still poor and get no respect for being hard honest working people
Meanwhile, here people with lot of money are respected regardless of their character traits and they do whatever they want regardless of the law

I set myself the goal of becoming a millionaire by the age of 33
I’m 32 years old this year and I’m tired and feel like I want to disappear like Houdini's elephant

No matter what I try, I fail

And believe me I tried a lot of things in these past years

First, I have read many many many books on entrepreneurship, marketing, copywriting, sales, negotiation you name it everything to improve my mindset and knowledge and I did a lot of courses on platforms like udemy coursera khan academy skillshare edx and many more

Entrepreneurs who started with nothing and became rich inspire me like Dhirubhai Ambani, Ramesh Babu, Naina Lal Kidwai, Laxmi Mittal, Byju Raveendran, Konosuke Matsushita, Sam Walton ofc MJ DeMarco to name a few

Now let me present you randomly few examples of what I tried:

- first of course I tried “beermoney” things but it’s impossible to make a living of it let alone become rich, its just slavery for low money

- learned wordpress and how to create website on it ( tried as freelance but no clients )

- learned html, css and javascript and understand how to create websites from scratch ( tried as freelance but no clients )

- learned java and made some apps for android but almost no downloads

- learned swift and made apps for iphones, I borrowed friend mac to be able to do it and worked together with him but again few downloads

- learned python and machine learning and did some apps like photorealistic image generation or image-super resolution using A.I. but again low downloads

- learned c# and unity, c++ and unreal, and gdscript and godot and made various videogames I published on itch for free but again almost no downloads

to be able to make games, I also self learned photoshop, maya 3d, zbrush, substance painter and few other software

- invested some money I had in cryptocurrency like shiba but i failed

- made account on gumroad and published some ebooks in education category, but no sales

- made account on mintable and uploaded some nft but nobody bought them

- made youtube account and made funny videos compilation and motivational videos, but almost no views

- learned cyber security to become a bug bounty hunter but its impossible the competition is to damn high, there are people with ten + years of experience and it’s very hard to find a new bug before them, it will be duplicate

- and a lot of other things



If you ask me “what do I like the most’ I don’t know what to answer you

I like IT stuff, to work on computer but I want to be my own boss and do my own thing

I guess I like making PC games but is all about luck, it’s the "who you know" thing, like I just read recently about writer Dr. Seuss the guy who wrote “cat in the hat”, his book was rejected by a lot of publisher, J’K Rowling Harry Potter book also was rejected many times so even if you do something of good quality it doesn't mean you will succeed, you also need to have luck

And for some reason the universe doesn't want me to get lucky

I know I'm complaining, but what can I do?

I've tried everything and still to no avail



I have low motivation these days and I feel like i have no reason to breathe oxygen

I feel like im good for nothing

Only want to be very rich, is the only thing I care about in this life and I’m willing to die for it

Don't get me wrong I don't care about the money, but I care about the life you can have because of the money
A friend's grandfather died because they had no money to pay to hospital
In many places in the world if you don't have money you don't exist

I envy people who are born rich and do whatever they want, or people who have luck and accomplish their objectives with little to no work

Most guys I know are not interested in entrepreneurship, only care about party, sex, drinking stuff like that or they have family and spends time with wife and their kids

I hate social media and I will never try nsfw things or illegal hacking things because I don’t want to make money that way

But it seems no matter I try I always fail

I don’t know what to do

Maybe I’m just no good at all

I failed and I’m tired

Maybe you can try find clients first before learning the skills.

At this moment there are clients paying money for different services.

 

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[heavy_industry]

First you will have to solve your emotional problems. You cannot move forward in life if you have this anchor of depression and guilt around your neck. And for this purpose I would highly suggest doing as much physical exercise as you can handle. Working out is something that you will always have control over, and will give you a great sense of joy, happiness and most importantly: confidence.

Second, it appears like you have a great interest in IT and also have the willingness to learn. This is one of the highest paying areas in the world at the moment. In just a few months you could land a job and work remotely to make some starting cash and get yourself off the ground. You can then see how the business works from the inside, and can then build your own business on the side. "Trying" a few things or creating a few apps is not enough. You will need to go all in in a market that has demand for what you're offering.

Finally, it's not too late when you're 32. It's too late when you decide it's too late.
Stay strong.

 

[Sega Saph]

Ohh.. I have read this thread entirely... Man, thank you so much that your shared your story with community, I think it is the best demonstration of something what we must not follow in our lives. For me I got your mistakes and understood what the secret of failure. Man, you made a job, you gave a wisdom. I appreciate it so much.
It was surprisingly when you skipped 12 years of your life like that, I thought: "Oh G... What... How was that...".
Keep it up Indian Buddy, you going to be all right. I believe. Cheers.

 

[Trait]

OK so I don't know where to start, there are SOO MANY PROBLEMS in your APPROACH to ENTREPRENEURSHIP.
So you have been a lurker in this forum, but have you actually read the Millionaire Fastlane or any of MJ's works? because judging by your post you seem to either not have read these books or simply did not understand them.

PROBLEM 1
At the very base of entrepreneurship lies a simple formula - You SOLVE PROBLEMS / NEEDS of the market and in return get PAID in proportion to the value the market perceives your solution to have. You solve huge problems - you get paid huge. You solve little problems you get paid little. Multiply these earnings with the number of people you affect and you get your real paycheck from the business venture.

So let's first examine what you did, you did a lot of stuff, but I DID NOT see any NEEDS / PROBLEMS getting mentioned all I see is a list of things you did irrespective of whether the MARKET NEEDS it or not. If you don't base your actions on the market needs, 99% of the time you WILL FAIL. And sadly that is what has happened to you.

PROBLEM 2

- first of course I tried “beermoney” things but it’s impossible to make a living of it let alone become rich, its just slavery for low money

- learned wordpress and how to create website on it ( tried as freelance but no clients )

- learned html, css and javascript and understand how to create websites from scratch ( tried as freelance but no clients )

- learned java and made some apps for android but almost no downloads

- learned swift and made apps for iphones, I borrowed friend mac to be able to do it and worked together with him but again few downloads

- learned python and machine learning and did some apps like photorealistic image generation or image-super resolution using A.I. but again low downloads

- learned c# and unity, c++ and unreal, and gdscript and godot and made various videogames I published on itch for free but again almost no downloads

to be able to make games, I also self learned photoshop, maya 3d, zbrush, substance painter and few other software

- invested some money I had in cryptocurrency like shiba but i failed

- made account on gumroad and published some ebooks in education category, but no sales

- made account on mintable and uploaded some nft but nobody bought them

- made youtube account and made funny videos compilation and motivational videos, but almost no views

- learned cyber security to become a bug bounty hunter but its impossible the competition is to damn high, there are people with ten + years of experience and it’s very hard to find a new bug before them, it will be duplicate

- and a lot of other things

You QUIT at the first SIGN OF FAILURE. Elon Musk had 3 rockets blow up before the 4th flew. Thomas Edison tried 1000 times before inventing the lightbulb. MrBeast Studied Tiny Details Of YouTube Videos Everyday For 1,000 Days To Crack The Algorithm.

Failure is an inherent part of learning. You do maths, you get them wrong - Failure - then you go and learn how to do it right - Learning. You learn and get experience so you know how to do it better next time, not quit immediately. MJ has clearly written in his book about the polygamists who do 100 things at once or just keep idea switching and succeed at none. You are a victim of that mindset. Pick a problem, stick to it and build a solution.
PROBLEM 3

I guess I like making PC games but is all about luck, it’s the "who you know" thing, like I just read recently about writer Dr. Seuss the guy who wrote “cat in the hat”, his book was rejected by a lot of publisher, J’K Rowling Harry Potter book also was rejected many times so even if you do something of good quality it doesn't mean you will succeed, you also need to have luck

As a game developer who is currently working on building a game in Unreal Engine for PC, this statement made me go EWW. I will address 2 Sub problems from the parra above.
Sub-problem 1
Video Games - those that succeed - are just SOLUTIONS to PROBLEMS. You heard that right, let me provide examples, Call of Duty - a game where you can mindlessly run shoot and play, aka a gameplay loop that releases dopamine which is cheap. Casual gamers are all over this game, WHY? because the MARKET had a NEED for a shooter game that has a fast-paced gameplay loop that is easy to get into / can be mindlessly played. Then there is Battlefield - a game that has some skill ceiling to it. WHY did it succeed? it solves a need for a shooter game that has a bigger scale with a higher skill ceiling.
Sub-problem 2
You BELIEVE in LUCK. I wrote believe because luck doesn't exist. Look at it from a scientific point of view and it will expose luck - you cannot quantify it, its a term coined by people to pat themselves at the back after failing. A simple one stop solution to all problems and failures, a simple concept that cannot be proven.

You know what is real? PROBABILITIES - scientifically quantifiable answer to uncertainty and also replaces luck. The events described as caused by luck should be called LOW PROBABILITY EVENTS. These are what they are called - events which have a low probability of happening and are the result of REALITY. Low probability events have a constant possibility, they can and will happen to everyone. Low Probability Events is just an insignificant variable that has little effect on the last outcome compared to all the other variables like - hard work, smart work, Belief in self, Perseverance etc. LPEs can either help you or mess you up in a varying (mostly small) way, but that can be overcome or used in leverage using all the other variables that are in YOUR CONTROL. Let me go back to the previous example of Elon's Rockets blowing, he could've said before the 4th launch oh my luck is out and I must not try again as im unlucky, then SPACEX would no longer exist and our Multiplanetary dreams would be set back I dont know how long. Go to every successful millionaire and billionaire in their childhood and make them believe that all successful people are just lucky, do you know what will happen? all of them will end up being a mediocre average joe and not the successful people they are today. But you know what? you can CONTROL your probability of being successful. But if you believe in the shitty concept of luck then you believe you have no control and end up dying poor.

MJ has almost an Identical philosophy on luck. " Repeated action skews the probability of success which others mistake for luck" - MJ DeMarco
PROBLEM 4
You don't believe in yourself or have self-esteem issues. Believing you will succeed is a fundamental requirement for success, because if you believe you will fail why try? If you start believing you will succeed you will start behaving in a completely different way from if you believed you would fail or had doubts. Steve Jobs says this in a nicely worded way
"Believing that the dots will connect down the road (you succeeding) will give you the confidence to follow your heart (take action) even when it leads you off the well-worn path (take risks) and that will make all the difference."(you succeed)
Another quote I have in my head that I dont know the og author of "He who thinks he can and he who thinks he can't are both usually right".

PROBLEM 5

First, I have read many many many books on entrepreneurship, marketing, copywriting, sales, negotiation you name it everything to improve my mindset and knowledge and I did a lot of courses on platforms like udemy coursera khan academy skillshare edx and many more

And still you didn't succeed, do you know why this is? because most books are neither valuable nor life-changing. And for Entrepreneurship trust me MJ's books are all you need and there are no authors in the market that can give you the value on this topic better. You seem to have condensed too much useless info in your head and forgotten about the effective and good advice. So pick one book, my advice would be The Millionaire Fastlane and Study it and try to Understand all concepts clearly and then take action accordingly. If you dont get something ask it here. The entire stuff I wrote, almost all of it is from that book. I spent almost 50 minutes writing this so I hope you value my time by trying to get as much value from this as possible.

I hope you change your mindset, and succeed!

 

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[farouqali]

And still you didn't succeed, do you know why this is? because most books are neither valuable nor life-changing. And for Entrepreneurship trust me MJ's books are all you need and there are no authors in the market that can give you the value on this topic better. You seem to have condensed too much useless info in your head and forgotten about the effective and good advice. So pick one book, my advice would be The Millionaire Fastlane and Study it and try to Understand all concepts clearly and then take action accordingly. If you dont get something ask it here. The entire stuff I wrote, almost all of it is from that book. I spent almost 50 minutes writing this so I hope you value my time by trying to get as much value from this as possible.

I guess he/She read the books for the sake to know the story.( But didn't get the in-depth analysis of what every moment MJ De Marco was trying to put the message across.) I like MJ books they have summary of the chapter you read before you go to the next one. I hope next reading would be to understand and not to flip pages.

 

[biophase]

If you truly know all those languages and have tried everything you’ve said, then you have a lot of programming knowledge. The problem is that you don’t know where to apply that knowledge. You are shooting for the lowest value using your skills.

For example, you made YouTube videos of funny things instead you could have done videos to teach people certain tricks while programming.

Curious, with all those skills how come you didn’t go the route of making an account on Upwork?

 

[Andy Black]

As others have mentioned, you have skills but aren’t getting paid for them.

Get some clients?

Maybe this will help:

• GOLD! - From Flat-Broke to Financial Freedom: How to Get Started When You Have No Money

 

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[Happyheart]

The other day I was looking into having someone creating an app for my business. I am sure that I am not the only one and you possess many skills that are marketable.

You stress in your post, that you want to work for yourself and I am concerned, that you interpret working for yourself too narrowly. Of course, creating a game and thousands of people downloading it is working for yourself in your mind. You have no real contact with customers. But see it this way: if you work on something that is destined to help millions of people, those people are your employer. You essentially work for them to create what they like.

There is nothing wrong with finding a job at a tech firm and work in software development, while generating ideas and getting to know colleagues, who are potential partners for your endeavors. On the other hand, you could develop software or apps for businesses if you succeed in marketing your skills to this group and you could earn a lot of money with that. If they don't know you exist, they will not hire your expertise.

You seem like a smart and resourceful guy with a lot of drive and energy. Now get some input from the forum and you will be on your way to more success.