Bad memories holding you back? Here’s a method that kills years of trauma in a couple days or less

[ElChe]

Your bad memories don't have to control you. Here's how to fight them.

I was snooping around on an online forum and discovered a piece of gold.

A simple explanation on how memories work… plus an even simpler strategy to “remap” negative emotions from a memory (which means that the bad memory from your past that kills your mood/confidence/self-esteem/whatever… loses its power over you… and lets you stay positive and keep knocking out your goals).

In case you are skeptical about taking random advice (you should be), this is from a guy who I greatly respect, and who thousands (millions?) of people also greatly appreciate for providing tons of valuable advice and insights.

I wish I would have discovered this 3 years ago, honestly. Could have saved me a lot of wasted time…

but honestly, I’m just really excited about the possibilities for this (I’ll explain why in a bit).

Here’s the full explanation:

Quick note for anyone dealing with troubled past memories (like Oh Pry is, or Cacc was). I'll likely do a full GC post on this at some point, since various guys have asked about clearing negative memories / trauma for a while.


Two important notes about memory:

• Memory is unstable. Every time you access a memory, it's like opening up the memory box, taking the memory out, playing with it, and putting it back in again when you're done. You associate new emotions as you go, which means you can make bad memories worse if you amplify the bad feelings when you access them (which is often why some things seem kinda sorta bad or embarrassing when they first happen, but then as you look back on them they get worse and worse). But you can also depower those memories by changing them when you access them, too.

• Memory is tied to emotions. Each memory is tied to a specific emotion, and is recalled when you're in that emotional state. So if you have a bunch of depressing or humiliating memories, those will come up when you feel those emotions. Which keeps you trapped in that state longer and makes you feel worse.

The clearing process is pretty straightforward. You access your worst memories, then mix them up with neutral emotions and keep doing it until you've killed much of the memory's power. Then shove it back in its box. Repeat this process over a few weeks until you've killed all that memory's power.


Example: let's say some kid bullied you. Every time you saw this kid he was a complete jackass. And you have a lot of anger and humiliation about that. So, you bring up his memories, imagine this kid's face, imagine a bunch of crummy things he did to you, and all the while you breathe deep and slow to keep yourself calm. Maybe you're sitting outside in nature with tree leaves rustling in the air and birds chirping. And you look up at the sky and the clouds and imagine this kid. And you understand his psychology; that he was a hurt guy, he was broken, his father probably beat him up at home like most bullies' fathers do. He thought you were prey and he took it out on you. But he was just a damaged guy himself. And you keep telling yourself that and keep breathing slow and deep and keep focusing on nature. When you repack that memory, much of its emotion is gone now, and it's been repacked with tranquility and understanding (and possibly forgiveness, which is the ultimate emotion you want to get to).


This is actually how the brain works. Memory is stored, then retrieved, then re-stored again, with a new set of connections based on what you felt and experienced while you accessed the memory. Even the facts of memories can change; people have these big things they remember, and if they talk to the other people involved in them often the two or more people involved remember the facts completely differently. Because every time they retrieved the emotion, they changed it subtley, and over time it became something completely different for each of them, dependent on the emotions they had tied to it (humiliation, guilt, victory, etc.).


You can clear whole categories of memories if you have a bunch strung together on a certain emotion this way. You don't have to do it one emotion at a time. You just dredge up all the related memories, associate them with calm, tranquility, understanding, and/or forgiveness, and repack them when you're done. Then repeat the next day or a few days later. Keep doing until all the old negative emotions are exorcised.


This works very, very well. Probably better than anything else I know of. Better even than hypnosis, because you're not repressing the emotions. You're keeping them, but robbing them of all their power over you.


Chase

Btw the post is from here: why would a famous millionaire like chester commit suicide
(the guy who shared it is a dude named Chase Amante, who runs the website Girlschase. He’s a “dating coach” but he also gives amazing advice in general. Plus he’s a certified Fastlaner who can build random successful businesses from scratch, I actually discovered The Millionaire Fastlane through him.)

Anyway, just wanted to say that I’ve used this technique in the past without realizing it.

But I wasn’t just getting rid of negative emotions… I was actually imbuing myself with POSITIVE emotions.

The results were better than you might imagine.

See, some years back… when I was still in highschool… I went through a little social “rut”.

I was feeling bitter about socializing in general… and wanted a break from school to set my emotions/mindset straight.

Well, I got my break when the semester ended. I took a breather and tried to find myself (got reinvested in art).

But I didn’t get back into “social mode”.

On the night before the next semester started, I realized that if I didn’t get back into “social mode”, my semester would be shitty and those bitter feeling would resurface.

What was I gonna do about it though? I literally had less than 7 hours before I was gonna be back in a classroom…

It’s funny. Sometimes when life puts your back against the wall you end up pulling the exact info you need to break through.

Some people even say that the reason our life flashes before our eyes before we die… is because our mind is searching for a solution that can keep us alive…

Well, my solution was to sit down and remap my bitter emotions on socializing into positive emotions.

So I sat upright in my bed, right there in the dark, and meditated. I calmed my brain to a serene state, then attacked those memories of socializing head-on.

6 hours left…

I put my whole being into that meditation.

I wanted to be as focused as possible… in the best social form as possible…

5 hours left…

Eventually I fell asleep. Then I awoke to the first of many school days of the next semester.

But something was different.

I got up and got ready with intent. I dressed my best. My body language was sharp and confident. My mind was laser-focused on staying positive and having fun times with everybody who I talked to.

When I got to my first class, to say I hit the ground running is an understatement. I immediately hit it off with the first people I talked to– making jokes, vibing, having a great time.

The whole day went like this. It felt like I could take anything that was thrown at me socially. It wasn't just with people my age. I had always disliked teachers/authority, but I was out there befriending and gaining the respect of every teacher in the school.

I kept meditating the next days, and ended up having a stellar semester and amazing 3 or so months of my life.

And it all started with that initial remapping of those emotions…!

Anyway. Moving on--

Here’s one of the keys. The only reason I decided to remap those emotions is because I knew that I needed to ENJOY socializing if I was to ever be really good at it.

Not everybody realizes this, but it’s true.

It’s hard as heck to get good at anything if you don’t feel positive emotions while doing it.

And also…

A general observation on life I’ve had is that your emotions are much more powerful for getting you to do things than anything else. Your emotions will ultimately be the main thing that controls you.

Onwards.

To review the main points of this post:

1. Your emotions are uber important for success. Discipline and habits are useful but your emotions are the X-factor
2. To be good at something, you must like or love doing it (feel positive emotions while doing it)
3. You can remap the emotions of a memory using the method that Chase described up above
4. This memory/emotional remap is so powerful it can unlock all of your potential in literally just a few hours

Here’s my idea for how this all plays out for your success:

First, you read something that talks about how the key to finding business success is to provide value, and the best way to motivate yourself to do this is to love everybody (like this post by IceCreamKid explains).

Then, you get serious about this and commit to sitting down every morning and meditating… in order to use the emotional remap Chase described (here’s a link to the full explanation again).

You imagine/remember yourself running a business… doing all the things you need to do, learning the different skills… then you imbue those thoughts with positive emotions that invigorate you to provide value.

Then… you make sure your mind is sharp on everything you need to do to run a successful business.

And KEEP doing this, every day (or at least as much as you can/need).

Sounds to me like there are few better ways to motivate yourself to consume all the business material and take all the actions you need to climb your way to success.

Hope you’ve found this post useful : )

 

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[pappaishere]

Great post! Thank you!

 

[Brissy]

Osho had a method of closing eyes, rewatching those memories in black and white and then looking at red color when eyes open to reduce the mental impact of them. Helped me a few times.

 

[DavidePaco00]

Your bad memories don't have to control you. Here's how to fight them.

I was snooping around on an online forum and discovered a piece of gold.

A simple explanation on how memories work… plus an even simpler strategy to “remap” negative emotions from a memory (which means that the bad memory from your past that kills your mood/confidence/self-esteem/whatever… loses its power over you… and lets you stay positive and keep knocking out your goals).

In case you are skeptical about taking random advice (you should be), this is from a guy who I greatly respect, and who thousands (millions?) of people also greatly appreciate for providing tons of valuable advice and insights.

I wish I would have discovered this 3 years ago, honestly. Could have saved me a lot of wasted time…

but honestly, I’m just really excited about the possibilities for this (I’ll explain why in a bit).

Here’s the full explanation:


Btw the post is from here: why would a famous millionaire like chester commit suicide
(the guy who shared it is a dude named Chase Amante, who runs the website Girlschase. He’s a “dating coach” but he also gives amazing advice in general. Plus he’s a certified Fastlaner who can build random successful businesses from scratch, I actually discovered The Millionaire Fastlane through him.)

Anyway, just wanted to say that I’ve used this technique in the past without realizing it.

But I wasn’t just getting rid of negative emotions… I was actually imbuing myself with POSITIVE emotions.

The results were better than you might imagine.

See, some years back… when I was still in highschool… I went through a little social “rut”.

I was feeling bitter about socializing in general… and wanted a break from school to set my emotions/mindset straight.

Well, I got my break when the semester ended. I took a breather and tried to find myself (got reinvested in art).

But I didn’t get back into “social mode”.

On the night before the next semester started, I realized that if I didn’t get back into “social mode”, my semester would be shitty and those bitter feeling would resurface.

What was I gonna do about it though? I literally had less than 7 hours before I was gonna be back in a classroom…

It’s funny. Sometimes when life puts your back against the wall you end up pulling the exact info you need to break through.

Some people even say that the reason our life flashes before our eyes before we die… is because our mind is searching for a solution that can keep us alive…

Well, my solution was to sit down and remap my bitter emotions on socializing into positive emotions.

So I sat upright in my bed, right there in the dark, and meditated. I calmed my brain to a serene state, then attacked those memories of socializing head-on.

6 hours left…

I put my whole being into that meditation.

I wanted to be as focused as possible… in the best social form as possible…

5 hours left…

Eventually I fell asleep. Then I awoke to the first of many school days of the next semester.

But something was different.

I got up and got ready with intent. I dressed my best. My body language was sharp and confident. My mind was laser-focused on staying positive and having fun times with everybody who I talked to.

When I got to my first class, to say I hit the ground running is an understatement. I immediately hit it off with the first people I talked to– making jokes, vibing, having a great time.

The whole day went like this. It felt like I could take anything that was thrown at me socially. It wasn't just with people my age. I had always disliked teachers/authority, but I was out there befriending and gaining the respect of every teacher in the school.

I kept meditating the next days, and ended up having a stellar semester and amazing 3 or so months of my life.

And it all started with that initial remapping of those emotions…!

Anyway. Moving on--

Here’s one of the keys. The only reason I decided to remap those emotions is because I knew that I needed to ENJOY socializing if I was to ever be really good at it.

Not everybody realizes this, but it’s true.

It’s hard as heck to get good at anything if you don’t feel positive emotions while doing it.

And also…

A general observation on life I’ve had is that your emotions are much more powerful for getting you to do things than anything else. Your emotions will ultimately be the main thing that controls you.

Onwards.

To review the main points of this post:

1. Your emotions are uber important for success. Discipline and habits are useful but your emotions are the X-factor
2. To be good at something, you must like or love doing it (feel positive emotions while doing it)
3. You can remap the emotions of a memory using the method that Chase described up above
4. This memory/emotional remap is so powerful it can unlock all of your potential in literally just a few hours

Here’s my idea for how this all plays out for your success:

First, you read something that talks about how the key to finding business success is to provide value, and the best way to motivate yourself to do this is to love everybody (like this post by IceCreamKid explains).

Then, you get serious about this and commit to sitting down every morning and meditating… in order to use the emotional remap Chase described (here’s a link to the full explanation again).

You imagine/remember yourself running a business… doing all the things you need to do, learning the different skills… then you imbue those thoughts with positive emotions that invigorate you to provide value.

Then… you make sure your mind is sharp on everything you need to do to run a successful business.

And KEEP doing this, every day (or at least as much as you can/need).

Sounds to me like there are few better ways to motivate yourself to consume all the business material and take all the actions you need to climb your way to success.
a
Hope you’ve found this post useful : )

Meditation is the most practical and efficient way to focus on the present moment and getting rid of your past.

 

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[ElChe]

Great post! Thank you!

My pleasure. I don't post here often but this technique looked really helpful.

Osho had a method of closing eyes, rewatching those memories in black and white and then looking at red color when eyes open to reduce the mental impact of them. Helped me a few times.

Interesting. Seems useful for when something happens that really boinks you emotionally. I'll keep that in mind.

Meditation is the most practical and efficient way to focus on the present moment and getting rid of your past.

Agreed. Meditation has always done wonders whenever I used it.
Something I've realized recently is that it's not that difficult, and totally worth the effort-- you just gotta keep reminding yourself that it pays off and force yourself to do it.

 

[Brissy]

Agreed. Meditation has always done wonders whenever I used it.
Something I've realized recently is that it's not that difficult, and totally worth the effort-- you just gotta keep reminding yourself that it pays off and force yourself to do it.

Just a note based on my experience, meditation clarifies the issue but isn't a tool to resolve it. Hence please be mindful of this if you think its getting worse or so.

 

[JoeTube]

Your bad memories don't have to control you. Here's how to fight them.

I was snooping around on an online forum and discovered a piece of gold.

A simple explanation on how memories work… plus an even simpler strategy to “remap” negative emotions from a memory (which means that the bad memory from your past that kills your mood/confidence/self-esteem/whatever… loses its power over you… and lets you stay positive and keep knocking out your goals).

In case you are skeptical about taking random advice (you should be), this is from a guy who I greatly respect, and who thousands (millions?) of people also greatly appreciate for providing tons of valuable advice and insights.

I wish I would have discovered this 3 years ago, honestly. Could have saved me a lot of wasted time…

but honestly, I’m just really excited about the possibilities for this (I’ll explain why in a bit).

Here’s the full explanation:


Btw the post is from here: why would a famous millionaire like chester commit suicide
(the guy who shared it is a dude named Chase Amante, who runs the website Girlschase. He’s a “dating coach” but he also gives amazing advice in general. Plus he’s a certified Fastlaner who can build random successful businesses from scratch, I actually discovered The Millionaire Fastlane through him.)

Anyway, just wanted to say that I’ve used this technique in the past without realizing it.

But I wasn’t just getting rid of negative emotions… I was actually imbuing myself with POSITIVE emotions.

The results were better than you might imagine.

See, some years back… when I was still in highschool… I went through a little social “rut”.

I was feeling bitter about socializing in general… and wanted a break from school to set my emotions/mindset straight.

Well, I got my break when the semester ended. I took a breather and tried to find myself (got reinvested in art).

But I didn’t get back into “social mode”.

On the night before the next semester started, I realized that if I didn’t get back into “social mode”, my semester would be shitty and those bitter feeling would resurface.

What was I gonna do about it though? I literally had less than 7 hours before I was gonna be back in a classroom…

It’s funny. Sometimes when life puts your back against the wall you end up pulling the exact info you need to break through.

Some people even say that the reason our life flashes before our eyes before we die… is because our mind is searching for a solution that can keep us alive…

Well, my solution was to sit down and remap my bitter emotions on socializing into positive emotions.

So I sat upright in my bed, right there in the dark, and meditated. I calmed my brain to a serene state, then attacked those memories of socializing head-on.

6 hours left…

I put my whole being into that meditation.

I wanted to be as focused as possible… in the best social form as possible…

5 hours left…

Eventually I fell asleep. Then I awoke to the first of many school days of the next semester.

But something was different.

I got up and got ready with intent. I dressed my best. My body language was sharp and confident. My mind was laser-focused on staying positive and having fun times with everybody who I talked to.

When I got to my first class, to say I hit the ground running is an understatement. I immediately hit it off with the first people I talked to– making jokes, vibing, having a great time.

The whole day went like this. It felt like I could take anything that was thrown at me socially. It wasn't just with people my age. I had always disliked teachers/authority, but I was out there befriending and gaining the respect of every teacher in the school.

I kept meditating the next days, and ended up having a stellar semester and amazing 3 or so months of my life.

And it all started with that initial remapping of those emotions…!

Anyway. Moving on--

Here’s one of the keys. The only reason I decided to remap those emotions is because I knew that I needed to ENJOY socializing if I was to ever be really good at it.

Not everybody realizes this, but it’s true.

It’s hard as heck to get good at anything if you don’t feel positive emotions while doing it.

And also…

A general observation on life I’ve had is that your emotions are much more powerful for getting you to do things than anything else. Your emotions will ultimately be the main thing that controls you.

Onwards.

To review the main points of this post:

1. Your emotions are uber important for success. Discipline and habits are useful but your emotions are the X-factor
2. To be good at something, you must like or love doing it (feel positive emotions while doing it)
3. You can remap the emotions of a memory using the method that Chase described up above
4. This memory/emotional remap is so powerful it can unlock all of your potential in literally just a few hours

Here’s my idea for how this all plays out for your success:

First, you read something that talks about how the key to finding business success is to provide value, and the best way to motivate yourself to do this is to love everybody (like this post by IceCreamKid explains).

Then, you get serious about this and commit to sitting down every morning and meditating… in order to use the emotional remap Chase described (here’s a link to the full explanation again).

You imagine/remember yourself running a business… doing all the things you need to do, learning the different skills… then you imbue those thoughts with positive emotions that invigorate you to provide value.

Then… you make sure your mind is sharp on everything you need to do to run a successful business.

And KEEP doing this, every day (or at least as much as you can/need).

Sounds to me like there are few better ways to motivate yourself to consume all the business material and take all the actions you need to climb your way to success.

Hope you’ve found this post useful : )

Man, this is super interesting and useful. So many thanks for taking the time to share this!

 

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[DavidePaco00]

My pleasure. I don't post here often but this technique looked really helpful.


Interesting. Seems useful for when something happens that really boinks you emotionally. I'll keep that in mind.


Agreed. Meditation has always done wonders whenever I used it.
Something I've realized recently is that it's not that difficult, and totally worth the effort-- you just gotta keep reminding yourself that it pays off and force yourself to do it.

Meditation becomes almost addictive when You experiment it's benefits.

Cheers,

Davide

 

[LightHouse]

This is a nice write up on a tactic that ultimately stems from the likes of NLP. The community you linked is also very very interesting. I guess I haven't realized how big of a community that is since the Show ran on tv 15 years ago with "Mystery", or Neil's book "The Game".

To note, this isn't the only or a one size fits method. If you are struggling with things you may try professional help (CBT) before going at it on your own.

Osho had a method of closing eyes, rewatching those memories in black and white and then looking at red color when eyes open to reduce the mental impact of them. Helped me a few times.

This is also part of other NLP tactics. One flavor I have used involves the same, turning that visualization of the memory to black and white (cracking the negative emotional connection via reducing the vibrant and stimulating colors, and then make it smaller and smaller until you mentally "throw it away".

All these techniques are very useful. I would argue though if anyone here is reading this for the first time and has no experience, pair up or talk to someone who has (after the professional route) just in case.

 

[Auhrl]

Great thread, can confirm this work. if you put your mind on it you can perceive positively the same experience once was associated with negative feelings.
It takes with practice, consistency and specially courage to face the sources of the negative feelings and reshape them.

 

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[ElChe]

This is a nice write up on a tactic that ultimately stems from the likes of NLP. The community you linked is also very very interesting. I guess I haven't realized how big of a community that is since the Show ran on tv 15 years ago with "Mystery", or Neil's book "The Game".

To note, this isn't the only or a one size fits method. If you are struggling with things you may try professional help (CBT) before going at it on your own.

Noted on the NLP and seeking professional help. I'm chillin now but something ducked me up emotionally some years back. I was pretty young at the time (and it was kind of a big coincidence of a bunch of bad things hitting me at once), but if I slip again I'll keep that in mind.

 

[S_Fernando]

Thank you very much. I really needed this advice.

 

[Takeover]

Nice Post, Needed To Hear This

 

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