You’ll Get Where You Want to Go. Just Refuse to Settle for Mediocrity

[MTF]

12 years ago, I was a young dude full of dreams, hoping to make at least a few thousand dollars a month from my business so I could be financially free.

At that point in my life, I had already tried several businesses but nothing worked. Each failure sent me into a deep pit of self-pity, followed by another bout of excitement and inevitably another failure.

Fast forward a few years (documented in my progress thread on the inside), I finally figured out how to stick to one business and eventually achieved my dreams (and then some).

I was driving this morning to one of my favorite forest areas to do a kettlebell workout there. As I passed countless cars of people driving into the city to get to work, I felt immense gratitude that my life is so completely different.

I mean, I was alone in the forest, listening to the birds, throwing around some weight, enjoying the sun and the warm weather. It was an epic morning. What more do you need?



I get to choose what I want to do and where and when I do it.

I have the luxury of traveling whenever and wherever I want.

I live by my own schedule (or rather, lack thereof). My calendar is empty, with nowhere particular to be at any specific time.

I only work because I want to make more money but not because I need to make more money. And I have the luxury of choosing a business model that fits my values and my lifestyle, without forcing myself to do things I don’t want to do.

To the young(er) version of me, that would be the definition of heaven on Earth.

The only reason why my life is like that is because I refused to quit, no matter how many times I failed. This forum and @MJ DeMarco's work have been instrumental to my success. To a great extent, I owe my lifestyle to the resources and accountability I was able to get here.

This may sound like a trite reminder, perhaps a cheap self-help platitude but… never give up. Readjust if necessary but stick to your path if you deeply desire a different life, even if it's VASTLY different from the one you live today.

Gary Halbert's favorite saying was "Nothing is impossible for a man who refuses to listen to reason."

You don’t need that much intellect or “natural” abilities to succeed. Determination is REALLY that magic pill (though it doesn’t work overnight).

Even when I had to borrow money just to be able to pay social security taxes to keep my business (legally) running, I never considered quitting. A day job wasn’t my plan B. There was only one future I envisioned for myself.

Not quitting no matter what is the only way to get where you want to go. And more importantly, it’s REALLY, REALLY worth it.

Each day, I’m still deeply appreciative of the life I’m blessed to live. I'm on vacation every day of my life.

Don’t get me wrong. Financial freedom won’t solve all your problems. My life isn’t perfect. I still deal with other stuff. I still sometimes feel like shit. But overall, I live the way I want to, not the way I had to settle to live. And that’s priceless.

If you’re doubting whether you can make it, I’m here to tell you that yes, you can make it. Perhaps you won’t get there in a year or two. It may take longer than you think. But I have no doubt that if you stick to the path, you’ll eventually get to your destination. And then you’ll look back and thank your younger self for staying determined.

I get the frustration.

I get the endless failures.

I get the embarrassment.

I get the discouragement.

I get the lack of support.

Despite it all, you can still make it. Determination trumps it all.

With this forum, MJ’s books, and Internet access, you have all the resources you need to sculpt your life in any way you desire. Just never stop hammering away until you're happy with your sculpture (and then figure out how to make it even better).

 

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[Jobless]

I have the luxury of traveling whenever and wherever I want.

I live by my own schedule (or rather, lack thereof). My calendar is empty, with nowhere particular to be at any specific time.

This is potent, but this 'luxury' can also be damaging, leading to complacency. Requires judgment, temperance, balance. It's not a lifestyle in itself, more like a greater ability to design your lifestyle.

I never considered quitting. A day job wasn’t my plan B. There was only one future I envisioned for myself.

I like this. If plan A is not reached, you persist or slightly modify plan A with the new lessons learned.
With a plan B you are already contemplating failure.

 

[MTF]

This is potent, but this 'luxury' can also be damaging, leading to complacency. Requires judgment, temperance, balance. It's not a lifestyle in itself, more like a greater ability to design your lifestyle.

Some people need a schedule to stay active. I don't. I function better without it because I can fill the day the way I want. It doesn't mean that I don't do anything. I still direct my life, just not with a rigid schedule.

 

[DreamLund]

I get to choose what I want to do and where and when I do it.
I have the luxury of traveling whenever and wherever I want.
You don’t need that much intellect or “natural” abilities to succeed. Determination is REALLY that magic pill (though it doesn’t work overnight).

Even when I had to borrow money just to be able to pay social security taxes to keep my business (legally) running, I never considered quitting. A day job wasn’t my plan B. There was only one future I envisioned for myself.

Not quitting no matter what is the only way to get where you want to go. And more importantly, it’s REALLY, REALLY worth it.

Each day, I’m still deeply appreciative of the life I’m blessed to live. I'm on vacation every day of my life.

I love this post!
this really motivated me to work harder today.

But I have a question:
How were you able to pull it off without the income from a job? " A day job wasn't my plan B."
I'm interested in the economical part of this because I wan't to dedicate my time and life to my mission and I don't like the thought of scattered focus, full-time job followed by a tired body.

 

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[Timmy C]

12 years ago, I was a young dude full of dreams, hoping to make at least a few thousand dollars a month from my business so I could be financially free.

At that point in my life, I had already tried several businesses but nothing worked. Each failure sent me into a deep pit of self-pity, followed by another bout of excitement and inevitably another failure.

Fast forward a few years (documented in my progress thread on the inside), I finally figured out how to stick to one business and eventually achieved my dreams (and then some).

I was driving this morning to one of my favorite forest areas to do a kettlebell workout there. As I passed countless cars of people driving into the city to get to work, I felt immense gratitude that my life is so completely different.

I mean, I was alone in the forest, listening to the birds, throwing around some weight, enjoying the sun and the warm weather. It was an epic morning. What more do you need?

View attachment 49193

I get to choose what I want to do and where and when I do it.

I have the luxury of traveling whenever and wherever I want.

I live by my own schedule (or rather, lack thereof). My calendar is empty, with nowhere particular to be at any specific time.

I only work because I want to make more money but not because I need to make more money. And I have the luxury of choosing a business model that fits my values and my lifestyle, without forcing myself to do things I don’t want to do.

To the young(er) version of me, that would be the definition of heaven on Earth.

The only reason why my life is like that is because I refused to quit, no matter how many times I failed. This forum and @MJ DeMarco's work have been instrumental to my success. To a great extent, I owe my lifestyle to the resources and accountability I was able to get here.

This may sound like a trite reminder, perhaps a cheap self-help platitude but… never give up. Readjust if necessary but stick to your path if you deeply desire a different life, even if it's VASTLY different from the one you live today.

Gary Halbert's favorite saying was "Nothing is impossible for a man who refuses to listen to reason."

You don’t need that much intellect or “natural” abilities to succeed. Determination is REALLY that magic pill (though it doesn’t work overnight).

Even when I had to borrow money just to be able to pay social security taxes to keep my business (legally) running, I never considered quitting. A day job wasn’t my plan B. There was only one future I envisioned for myself.

Not quitting no matter what is the only way to get where you want to go. And more importantly, it’s REALLY, REALLY worth it.

Each day, I’m still deeply appreciative of the life I’m blessed to live. I'm on vacation every day of my life.

Don’t get me wrong. Financial freedom won’t solve all your problems. My life isn’t perfect. I still deal with other stuff. I still sometimes feel like shit. But overall, I live the way I want to, not the way I had to settle to live. And that’s priceless.

If you’re doubting whether you can make it, I’m here to tell you that yes, you can make it. Perhaps you won’t get there in a year or two. It may take longer than you think. But I have no doubt that if you stick to the path, you’ll eventually get to your destination. And then you’ll look back and thank your younger self for staying determined.

I get the frustration.

I get the endless failures.

I get the embarrassment.

I get the discouragement.

I get the lack of support.

Despite it all, you can still make it. Determination trumps it all.

With this forum, MJ’s books, and Internet access, you have all the resources you need to sculpt your life in any way you desire. Just never stop hammering away until you're happy with your sculpture (and then figure out how to make it even better).

Great post mate, I wasn't active or posting at all on the forum for quite some time as I failed so much I gave up for a bit I won't lie. I took about a year off and did nothing at all business wise. I just thought to myself, I don't have ''IT'' I am not good enough, smart enough etc. I have wasted years trying to get my own thing of the ground, and am now stuck working below minimum wage jobs for peanuts.... I thought i was an idiot. I told myself all of this.

Resigned myself to working a government job, but in hindsight this is exactly what I needed. I work now as a prison officer in Melbourne, Australia. The job provides me with 9 weeks of leave entitlements a year and a decent salary with overtime available.

But it isn't enough, I wanted more and I still do, and it just so happens the job is very easy, and leaves me plenty of energy to work on things outside of my job.

Heck, at work sometimes i have the ability to dig my way out of shawshank. I have more stability now due to this job, more money now, less stress, and don't have to worry about so many other financial matters that I did in the beginning. I can pay all of my bills now.

This mental load that has been lifted off my shoulders makes me feel better about making my dreams come true, I have more clarity now, I am more patient, less angry, and more thoughtful about how i do things.

I will get there, i will.

Great post.

 

[RoadTrip]

I can fully relate to your story. I read TMF over 10 years ago and since that moment I have started and failed multiple business. I may not be the most intelligent, or the strongest leader, but I do have a lot perserverance. So I kept trying.

Finally, in Dec-2021 I quit my full time job to put all my focus on my businesses that I started in 2019. Note that I mention businesses, because I have even been able to build two profitable businesses to sustain our family lifestyle. Although I'm nowhere near financial freedom yet, I do not need to commute to the office anymore. Every morning I bring the kids to school and see the people rushing to the office, I am very thankful for where I am at at the moment.

I also recognize there is much to do still. But I enjoy the process and working on my business. Of course, it's not all sunshine and happiness, but it's whole lot more fun than working for somebody else.

I also started reading Family First Entrepreneur as recommended by @biophase in his newsletter. I love it! If your goal is to be extremely successful, this is not the book for you. If your goal is to have freedom, enjoy life and be present with your family, I highly recommend it. I think you would enjoy it too @MTF.

 

[MTF]

I love this post!
this really motivated me to work harder today.

But I have a question:
How were you able to pull it off without the income from a job? " A day job wasn't my plan B."
I'm interested in the economical part of this because I wan't to dedicate my time and life to my mission and I don't like the thought of scattered focus, full-time job followed by a tired body.

I was a freelancer since my early teenage years, doing some work from home for a local publishing company (my mom worked for them; when they had more work I had my own projects to do). I'm a saver by nature so I saved money which I then invested into various businesses. Some made some money (before they failed) so I was able to cover basic costs.

The freelance work sometimes took me entire days and sometimes I had time. Since I worked every day of the week, I could always find time to work on my projects. And because I was young, I guess I didn't tire as easily as these days lol.

Having said that, I also lived with my parents so my costs were minimal (I contributed financially whenever I could and helped with stuff). Thankfully I wasn't a typical dude who lives with his parents and plays video games all day. I was hustling every day.

In the end I bought them a large piece of land and built a house in the countryside where they could retire so I think it was a good deal for them to be patient with me.

 

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[MTF]

Great post mate, I wasn't active or posting at all on the forum for quite some time as I failed so much I gave up for a bit I won't lie. I took about a year off and did nothing at all business wise. I just thought to myself, I don't have ''IT'' I am not good enough, smart enough etc. I have wasted years trying to get my own thing of the ground, and am now stuck working below minimum wage jobs for peanuts.... I thought i was an idiot. I told myself all of this.

Taking some time off helps clear the mind and see everything from a different perspective. Based on the tone of your post, it has clearly helped you.

Resigned myself to working a government job, but in hindsight this is exactly what I needed. I work now as a prison officer in Melbourne, Australia. The job provides me with 9 weeks of leave entitlements a year and a decent salary with overtime available.

Any potential business ideas that you've discovered through your job?

I will get there, i will.

For sure you will. The fact that you're still here shows that you're deeply invested.

 

[MTF]

Finally, in Dec-2021 I quit my full time job to put all my focus on my businesses that I started in 2019. Note that I mention businesses, because I have even been able to build two profitable businesses to sustain our family lifestyle. Although I'm nowhere near financial freedom yet, I do not need to commute to the office anymore. Every morning I bring the kids to school and see the people rushing to the office, I am very thankful for where I am at at the moment.

That's excellent. Being nowhere near financial freedom doesn't matter here because you have the most important freedom that has the biggest impact on happiness (time freedom).

I also started reading Family First Entrepreneur as recommended by @biophase in his newsletter. I love it! If your goal is to be extremely successful, this is not the book for you. If your goal is to have freedom, enjoy life and be present with your family, I highly recommend it. I think you would enjoy it too @MTF.

I didn't know that @biophase has a newsletter. Where can I sign up?

I've heard about this book but concluded it's not for me since I'll never have kids. Would you say it's still valuable if you aren't a parent?

 

[Matt Lee]

The only reason why my life is like that is because I refused to quit, no matter how many times I failed. This forum and @MJ DeMarco's work have been instrumental to my success.

With this forum, MJ’s books, and Internet access, you have all the resources you need to sculpt your life in any way you desire. Just never stop hammering away until you're happy with your sculpture (and then figure out how to make it even better).

These things spoke to me. Your journey itself is something I'm living in currently. So thanks for writing this amazing post @MTF. It's very useful.

I've followed breadcrumbs from your threads and I've been led to many sources that have changed my mindset forever(John Calton books being one of them).

This post will probably be one of my favorites so far alongside your progress threads and one of the posts where you laid out a full outline of your journey.

When I first read your post you come off as a hardcore Goggin-like writer, and now it seems you've become more calm, collected, and most importantly of all seem genuinely happy.

 

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[OMDA]

Great post mate, I wasn't active or posting at all on the forum for quite some time as I failed so much I gave up for a bit I won't lie. I took about a year off and did nothing at all business wise. I just thought to myself, I don't have ''IT'' I am not good enough, smart enough etc. I have wasted years trying to get my own thing of the ground, and am now stuck working below minimum wage jobs for peanuts.... I thought i was an idiot. I told myself all of this.

Resigned myself to working a government job, but in hindsight this is exactly what I needed. I work now as a prison officer in Melbourne, Australia. The job provides me with 9 weeks of leave entitlements a year and a decent salary with overtime available.

But it isn't enough, I wanted more and I still do, and it just so happens the job is very easy, and leaves me plenty of energy to work on things outside of my job.

Heck, at work sometimes i have the ability to dig my way out of shawshank. I have more stability now due to this job, more money now, less stress, and don't have to worry about so many other financial matters that I did in the beginning. I can pay all of my bills now.

This mental load that has been lifted off my shoulders makes me feel better about making my dreams come true, I have more clarity now, I am more patient, less angry, and more thoughtful about how i do things.

I will get there, i will.

Great post.

I needed that mental time off as well. Too many disappointments and failures were adding up and I think my own self-criticism was limiting my ability to do much else. I'm feeling a lot more refreshed after taking that pressure off.

 

[BellaPippin]

Thanks friend, I needed to read this today. And the next and the next… lol

I’m at such point in which I’m not sure I’m going to make it, but fighting the feeling everyday. Like I’m not smart enough. I won’t be able to figure X and Y out. I’m not made for it. So many things cross my mind. My ideas not being good enough, not being CENTS enough... stacking the failures and trying to learn from them. Feeling shame when inevitably people ask me what I do and I don’t have a “career” answer. Ugh, so much.

 

[Simon Angel]

Thanks friend, I needed to read this today. And the next and the next… lol

I’m at such point in which I’m not sure I’m going to make it, but fighting the feeling everyday. Like I’m not smart enough. I won’t be able to figure X and Y out. I’m not made for it. So many things cross my mind. My ideas not being good enough, not being CENTS enough... stacking the failures and trying to learn from them. Feeling shame when inevitably people ask me what I do and I don’t have a “career” answer. Ugh, so much.

Relax. Everything will turn out just fine.

Your problem isn't that you're not smart enough. It's that you're too smart.

Go-getters rarely stop to think about whether they're good enough, smart enough, or worry about the possibilities. Instead, they see something, decide they want to do/get/have it, and just go for it.

This is why a lot of "dumb" folks are successful. Their lack of self-awareness and gross overestimation of their abilities drives them to pursue opportunities that a more intelligent person would automatically disqualify themselves from.

So try being more impulsive. Do more than you think.

However, I admit I'm surprised to hear you feel shame about having to tell people you don't have a career considering your... psychological attributes.

Have you figured out why you're doing this? Figured out what you want from life in general?

 

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[MTF]

When I first read your post you come off as a hardcore Goggin-like writer, and now it seems you've become more calm, collected, and most importantly of all seem genuinely happy.

I used to love Goggins's approach but I've changed my mind. Earlier this year I met a very capable and super chill freediver who taught me how to achieve more while struggling way less. Instead of pushing through discomfort and pain, he taught me how to enjoy what I'm doing and within that, slowly push my limits while always feeling good.

Because of his guidance, I was able to turn from a freediver who struggled to comfortably dive more than a few meters to a diver who can very comfortably dive 20 meters (I'm slowly working on my goal to be able to dive at least 40 meters).

Instead of pushing myself through extreme discomfort, I followed his "take it easy and enjoy it" approach and it worked.

Now I take this approach in other aspects of my life as well. It's way more sustainable and more importantly, way healthier physically and mentally. I used to destroy my ears with every freediving session. Now I can dive four days in a row and still be fine. Same goes for other stuff, including business.

 

[BellaPippin]

Relax. Everything will turn out just fine.

Your problem isn't that you're not smart enough. It's that you're too smart.

Go-getters rarely stop to think about whether they're good enough, smart enough, or worry about the possibilities. Instead, they see something, decide they want to do/get/have it, and just go for it.

This is why a lot of "dumb" folks are successful. Their lack of self-awareness and gross overestimation of their abilities drives them to pursue opportunities that a more intelligent person would automatically disqualify themselves from.

So try being more impulsive. Do more than you think.

However, I admit I'm surprised to hear you feel shame about having to tell people you don't have a career considering your... psychological attributes.

Have you figured out why you're doing this? Figured out what you want from life in general?

I’m not sure, I guess it’s the fact that I still don’t have anything to show for it (by that I think I mean being able to get any sort of income from something I produced). Luckily it doesn’t happen often but it bugs me when people ask me what I do and I can’t say “I have a business“, but that im in the process of trying to make something successfully and it’s still not happening (because other than that, I’m just a home maker right now). Touches my I-feel-like-a-failure nerves I guess…

That said I don’t regret not having a career, it’s pretty obvious I don’t fit into anything so I’m glad I didn’t try to get into debt for college.

 

[MTF]

I’m at such point in which I’m not sure I’m going to make it, but fighting the feeling everyday. Like I’m not smart enough. I won’t be able to figure X and Y out. I’m not made for it. So many things cross my mind. My ideas not being good enough, not being CENTS enough... stacking the failures and trying to learn from them. Feeling shame when inevitably people ask me what I do and I don’t have a “career” answer. Ugh, so much.

I tend to overthink things as well and it's rarely helpful. That's why I like to go for repetitive businesses where you're only required to do the same task over and over again until it works (like content creation).

 

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[RoadTrip]

That's excellent. Being nowhere near financial freedom doesn't matter here because you have the most important freedom that has the biggest impact on happiness (time freedom).



I didn't know that @biophase has a newsletter. Where can I sign up?

I've heard about this book but concluded it's not for me since I'll never have kids. Would you say it's still valuable if you aren't a parent?

I need to apologize for this. I always thought biophase is the owner of the ForeverJobless blog. After your question I double checked. It turns out it's snowbank who is behind the ForeverJobless blog. Obviously, I should have double checked before posting.

About the Family First Entrepreneur book: personally, I find the authors' point of view very interesting. According to him the majority of business owners does not really want to be the next Elon Musk or Steve Jobs. The majority of business owners is in business so they can enjoy their life, e.g. spending more time with their loved ones. Rather than working around the clock to build the next billionaire business.

It's more that I like this new point of view that nobody really mentions. It's all about hustling and building the next big thing. I doubt you will learn something new from this book, but it may be interesting to hear the author discuss his point of view. And according to him, that of many more entrepreneurs.

 

[MTF]

I need to apologize for this. I always thought biophase is the owner of the ForeverJobless blog. After your question I double checked. It turns out it's snowbank who is behind the ForeverJobless blog. Obviously, I should have double checked before posting.

Ha that's why I was a little confused. I'm signed up to Forever Jobless.

About the Family First Entrepreneur book: personally, I find the authors' point of view very interesting. According to him the majority of business owners does not really want to be the next Elon Musk or Steve Jobs. The majority of business owners is in business so they can enjoy their life, e.g. spending more time with their loved ones. Rather than working around the clock to build the next billionaire business.

It's more that I like this new point of view that nobody really mentions. It's all about hustling and building the next big thing. I doubt you will learn something new from this book, but it may be interesting to hear the author discuss his point of view. And according to him, that of many more entrepreneurs.

Die With Zero is in a similar vein. I think you'll enjoy it as well, assuming you haven't read it already.

I 100% treat business as a vehicle for freedom. I'm not the type of an entrepreneur who loves business so much they want to do it every day even if they make no money from it.

A few years ago I thought I was a "true' entrepreneur but then I realized I can feel great only having non-business pursuits in my life (I tested it between January and May when I barely worked while traveling).

 

[ZCP]

Thanks friend, I needed to read this today. And the next and the next… lol

I’m at such point in which I’m not sure I’m going to make it, but fighting the feeling everyday. Like I’m not smart enough. I won’t be able to figure X and Y out. I’m not made for it. So many things cross my mind. My ideas not being good enough, not being CENTS enough... stacking the failures and trying to learn from them. Feeling shame when inevitably people ask me what I do and I don’t have a “career” answer. Ugh, so much.

Cut the shit, Bella! You are amazing. Keep chopping wood.
DM me for a call. We'll get you some direction.

It will start with 'give yourself some credit!!!'

 

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[ZCP]

@MTF = mega beast.
super proud of you!

are you going to open the door if i come visit you now?

 

[MTF]

are you going to open the door if i come visit you now?

Lol I will even pick you up from the train station (no airport here).

 

[RoadTrip]

Die With Zero is in a similar vein. I think you'll enjoy it as well, assuming you haven't read it already.

Thank you for the recommendation. I didn’t know it and it’s on my reading list now

 

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[SDE]

Earlier this year I met a very capable and super chill freediver who taught me how to achieve more while struggling way less. Instead of pushing through discomfort and pain, he taught me how to enjoy what I'm doing and within that, slowly push my limits while always feeling good.

Anything specific he recommended or said?

Reading this reminded me of something close Naval Ravikant said:

"Relax. You'll live longer and perform better"

 

[BellaPippin]

Cut the shit, Bella! You are amazing. Keep chopping wood.
DM me for a call. We'll get you some direction.

It will start with 'give yourself some credit!!!'

Oh no the policeee—-

 

[MTF]

Anything specific he recommended or said?

All of my previous freediving coaches focused on always going deeper and deeper. You did five meters, great, go dive six meters. Then go seven. And so on.

This way, you always kept pushing but never gave yourself the time to truly own the depth. So inevitably, you'd overextend yourself and go too far outside your comfort zone, either wrecking yourself psychologically and losing self-confidence or destroying your ears (if you pushed despite not being able to equalize). I myself have built some little traumas this way that completely undermined my self-confidence.

This coach was different in that in his mind each dive has to be perfectly calm, regardless of the depth. A 5-meter super comfortable dive is way better than a 20-meter one in which you completely panic.

He taught me how to be okay with repeating the same depth over and over again to truly own it and feel super comfortable with it. And only then I'd go deeper and repeat the same process.

The point is that you NEVER want to have a bad experience (something that Goggins wouldn't agree with) as that would scar your mind and hinder your progress. By taking it very slowly and in a relaxed way, you keep building positive associations only. This way, you consistently progress while enjoying the process.

He himself dives this way as well, always enjoying each dive and being super relaxed (he's also super chill in everyday life). He's capable of diving 55 meters and is now on a training camp working on getting to the 70-80 meters range (and I'm sure he'll get there).

Here's his coach (who can dive to over 100 meters) talking about some of this (in points #1 Relaxation Really Matters and #4 Progress Slowly):

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZdpMlsbdQM


This can and does apply to everything else in life. I personally find this philosophy way more aligned with how I want to live. I'm in it for the long term and I want to feel good every day instead of crushing my body and mind with too much.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Upgraded to Notable.

I used to love Goggins's approach but I've changed my mind

The point is that you NEVER want to have a bad experience (something that Goggins wouldn't agree with)

C'mon bro, if you don't land yourself in the hospital and permanently damage an organ, you're soft! You're doing it wrong! (Sarc)

 

[Andy Black]

All of my previous freediving coaches focused on always going deeper and deeper. You did five meters, great, go dive six meters. Then go seven. And so on.

This way, you always kept pushing but never gave yourself the time to truly own the depth. So inevitably, you'd overextend yourself and go too far outside your comfort zone, either wrecking yourself psychologically and losing self-confidence or destroying your ears (if you pushed despite not being able to equalize). I myself have built some little traumas this way that completely undermined my self-confidence.

This coach was different in that in his mind each dive has to be perfectly calm, regardless of the depth. A 5-meter super comfortable dive is way better than a 20-meter one in which you completely panic.

He taught me how to be okay with repeating the same depth over and over again to truly own it and feel super comfortable with it. And only then I'd go deeper and repeat the same process.

The point is that you NEVER want to have a bad experience (something that Goggins wouldn't agree with) as that would scar your mind and hinder your progress. By taking it very slowly and in a relaxed way, you keep building positive associations only. This way, you consistently progress while enjoying the process.

He himself dives this way as well, always enjoying each dive and being super relaxed (he's also super chill in everyday life). He's capable of diving 55 meters and is now on a training camp working on getting to the 70-80 meters range (and I'm sure he'll get there).

Here's his coach (who can dive to over 100 meters) talking about some of this (in points #1 Relaxation Really Matters and #4 Progress Slowly):

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZdpMlsbdQM


This can and does apply to everything else in life. I personally find this philosophy way more aligned with how I want to live. I'm in it for the long term and I want to feel good every day instead of crushing my body and mind with too much.

Great story @MTF, and really illustrates how I prefer to do things.

I personally think people take getting out of their comfort zone a bit too far. The word comfortable even seems to have negative conotations nowadays. Sometimes we can make better progress while being comfortable. Not everything has to be pushing beyond the limit, or even timed/measured.

When I trained too hard I got injured, which set me back mentally as well as physically. My PBs seemed to come after weeks of consistent training - where I didn't appear to be making progress but instead enjoyed the training sessions and banter with other athletes. Then out would pop a time way faster than I'd run previous.

Similarly, when I rode motorbikes my best experiences came when I focused on being smooth rather than fast. I remember the first time I got my knee down, and how surprised I was because I wasn't even trying to get my knee down that ride.

If we don't enjoy the journey then we only take pleasure in reaching our destination, which seems a shame as the journey is such a big part of the experience.

 

[Strategery]

Great story @MTF, and really illustrates how I prefer to do things.

I personally think people take getting out of their comfort zone a bit too far. The word comfortable even seems to have negative conotations nowadays. Sometimes we can make better progress while being comfortable. Not everything has to be pushing beyond the limit, or even timed/measured.

When I trained too hard I got injured, which set me back mentally as well as physically. My PBs seemed to come after weeks of consistent training - where I didn't appear to be making progress but instead enjoyed the training sessions and banter with other athletes. Then out would pop a time way faster than I'd run previous.

Similarly, when I rode motorbikes my best experiences came when I focused on being smooth rather than fast. I remember the first time I got my knee down, and how surprised I was because I wasn't even trying to get my knee down on that ride.

If we don't enjoy the journey then we only take pleasure in reaching our destination, which seems a shame as the journey is such a big part of the experience.

It’s almost like the more difficult thing to do is to control the desire to ‘feel’ like you’re working hard and just put in consistent, metered effort.

 

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[SDE]

All of my previous freediving coaches focused on always going deeper and deeper. You did five meters, great, go dive six meters. Then go seven. And so on.

This way, you always kept pushing but never gave yourself the time to truly own the depth. So inevitably, you'd overextend yourself and go too far outside your comfort zone, either wrecking yourself psychologically and losing self-confidence or destroying your ears (if you pushed despite not being able to equalize). I myself have built some little traumas this way that completely undermined my self-confidence.

This coach was different in that in his mind each dive has to be perfectly calm, regardless of the depth. A 5-meter super comfortable dive is way better than a 20-meter one in which you completely panic.

He taught me how to be okay with repeating the same depth over and over again to truly own it and feel super comfortable with it. And only then I'd go deeper and repeat the same process.

The point is that you NEVER want to have a bad experience (something that Goggins wouldn't agree with) as that would scar your mind and hinder your progress. By taking it very slowly and in a relaxed way, you keep building positive associations only. This way, you consistently progress while enjoying the process.

He himself dives this way as well, always enjoying each dive and being super relaxed (he's also super chill in everyday life). He's capable of diving 55 meters and is now on a training camp working on getting to the 70-80 meters range (and I'm sure he'll get there).

Here's his coach (who can dive to over 100 meters) talking about some of this (in points #1 Relaxation Really Matters and #4 Progress Slowly):

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZdpMlsbdQM


This can and does apply to everything else in life. I personally find this philosophy way more aligned with how I want to live. I'm in it for the long term and I want to feel good every day instead of crushing my body and mind with too much.

Thank you for sharing. I appreciate it.

 

[MTF]

Upgraded to Notable.

Thank you for the upgrade. I'm glad to see the thread resonating with the forum.

C'mon bro, if you don't land yourself in the hospital and permanently damage an organ, you're soft! You're doing it wrong! (Sarc)

Just an organ? Are you serious? You need to permanently damage your knees, hamstrings, and feet. If you can still walk, you can still run. No need for functioning organs.