Sorry folks, this is a long one.
I’m not totally sure why I’m here or what I’m hoping to get out of this forum. But I’ve listened to/read Unscripted three times and TMF twice, all within the past two months. They have been eye-opening to the stories I’ve been told all my life about the choices I should make and the path I should lead. At 24 years old, I feel like I’ve been given foresight into my future and what it could become, for better or worse.
I have never really subscribed to the scripted narrative, although my choices have been driven by the compromised parties in my life. I went to community college because I didn’t know what to do after high school; I hated every minute of it. Then, driven by my parents, I transferred to a four year school to study supply chain management where I fell into the worst depression of my life. I barely lasted one semester. My parents took mercy on me and forgave my failing all six classes and gave me the opportunity to travel to New Zealand to stay with a family friend.
This guy lived a simple life with his family, totally off the grid. No electricity, no running water, a garden and sheep for food. In my teens, I got involved with very immersive wilderness programs that taught survival, spirituality, and a closeness to the Earth. So living like this for three months in NZ was incredibly appealing. I learned a lot about myself there and declared that a simple life, free from the pursuit of money, was going to be my path.
Of course, when I got back to the US, real life smacked me in the face and I “had” to get a job and make a plan for my future. This was about the time I started working for my dad.
He and my older brother were operating a mid-sized grocery distribution business that my father started when I was a child. They needed help with some bookkeeping. It was simple stuff that I learned on the job and it put money in my pocket. Eventually I decided to go back to school to get my degree as a “backup plan” for when my life in the woods inevitably turned sour. I worked for my dad while I lived at home and went to school for Anthropology. What a surprise when I realized (for the third time) that school isn’t where I thrive. So I dropped out one semester from finishing my degree, quit working for my dad, and went to the wilderness school whose programs I was raised in, to get a job... doing office work. I traded one boring desk job for another, convincing myself that I would love it because it was a non-profit I truly cared about. That and at least I wasn’t working for my dad.
7 months later, I realized that I don’t thrive working in an office for other people. Who knew. So I quit that job and moved in with my mom while I “figured things out,” tentatively planning a cross-country road trip to find myself, again. When the pandemic hit, I found myself locked in my mom’s basement, stuffing my face, getting lost in video games for days at a time, and wracking up credit card debt on things I didn’t need. I felt the descent into depression. When my dad reached out to ask for help again (the pandemic overwhelmed them with volume), I agreed to work for him because I was doing nothing better with my time and I had credit cards to pay off.
That help has evolved into me playing a major role in the business. I have moved in with my brother in Colorado, somewhere I’ve been wanting to live for a long time and a center of our business operations, and taken on many of the responsibilities of running the business and helping to optimize our systems. Office work, yet again. My father has grand plans for the future of the business and I’m a part of those. I’m essentially being given a segment of the business that doesn’t exist yet and being told to build it myself with my father’s financial support and guidance. Which would be awesome if I didn’t have this nagging feeling every day that I’m doing the wrong thing again.
I just want to pause and say that I recognize my incredible privilege. I’ve grown up pretty much free from the suffering of poverty and have never had to worry about where I’m sleeping and what I’m eating every day. All of my schooling was subsidized by my parents so I have no loan debt. Our family is not rich but we are very capable of supporting ourselves, with the potential to earn whatever we want. My father has worked for most of his life to build this business to support the people around him and my gratitude for the sacrifices he’s made and hardships he’s endured is unending. I have no idea where I’d be today without him. He is also a good man and a good father, albeit an often absent one. His wisdom and guidance is some of the most valuable I have ever received. Truly a remarkable man and entrepreneur. He’s the one who recommended Unscripted to me.
Disclaimer aside, he is not an easy person to work for. He strives for and demands excellence and has a standard that few can meet. I have always been reluctant to work for him because of the impact I have seen it have on his relationship with my older brother. Having a father for a boss changes the way you interact with him and how you feel about him. I’ve always been terrified of our relationship being ruined because I didn’t meet his expectations at work.
Anyway, I’m being given this low-risk, high-yield-potential opportunity to build something of my own but I don’t feel like it will ever be mine. It will only exist because of him and he will have a stake in it and an amount of control in its direction. Another catch is that I’m still doing the mundane bookkeeping work that I abhor and am not very good at anyway. If I want to pursue this opportunity, I’m kind of expected to also do bookkeeping, at least for a time until we can hire someone else to do it. I’m not holding my breath because it is notoriously difficult to hire someone up to my father’s standards, one of the business’s many issues.
I know I don’t have a lot to complain about, but I feel unfulfilled and like I’m still a child, doing my father’s bidding and trying not to disappoint him. I am still very much dependent on him and feel like I owe him my time and work for it. I feel like I will never be able to break away from the business and make something truly my own. Am I crazy to want to pass up this opportunity? A chance to build a business with his safety net would get me some serious experience points but I’m not sure if it’s worth it to feel like he’s still holding my hand. Why not get started now doing something of my own? But I also don’t really see an alternative right now. The rest of my family depends on the business too, not just me. Me leaving it could be a major blow that might cause others to suffer. I also don’t have an idea for what my venture is yet. I spend all day looking around for problems that need solving and value that I can create, but I’m coming up short. I’m still pretty new to an entrepreneurial mindset and I think my eyes and ears aren’t trained enough yet. I know the needs exist, but I just haven’t been able to identify them.
Well, I deeply appreciate you if you’ve read all of this. It’s the first time I’ve really told some of my story and I figured there would be others like me here who might identify with things that I’ve said.
MJ, if you happen to read this, a personal thanks for the wisdom in your books. I do feel like they have changed the course of my life and expertly articulated a lot of the things I was already feeling. I can’t unsee the script now and I’m very grateful for that.
I’m not totally sure why I’m here or what I’m hoping to get out of this forum. But I’ve listened to/read Unscripted three times and TMF twice, all within the past two months. They have been eye-opening to the stories I’ve been told all my life about the choices I should make and the path I should lead. At 24 years old, I feel like I’ve been given foresight into my future and what it could become, for better or worse.
I have never really subscribed to the scripted narrative, although my choices have been driven by the compromised parties in my life. I went to community college because I didn’t know what to do after high school; I hated every minute of it. Then, driven by my parents, I transferred to a four year school to study supply chain management where I fell into the worst depression of my life. I barely lasted one semester. My parents took mercy on me and forgave my failing all six classes and gave me the opportunity to travel to New Zealand to stay with a family friend.
This guy lived a simple life with his family, totally off the grid. No electricity, no running water, a garden and sheep for food. In my teens, I got involved with very immersive wilderness programs that taught survival, spirituality, and a closeness to the Earth. So living like this for three months in NZ was incredibly appealing. I learned a lot about myself there and declared that a simple life, free from the pursuit of money, was going to be my path.
Of course, when I got back to the US, real life smacked me in the face and I “had” to get a job and make a plan for my future. This was about the time I started working for my dad.
He and my older brother were operating a mid-sized grocery distribution business that my father started when I was a child. They needed help with some bookkeeping. It was simple stuff that I learned on the job and it put money in my pocket. Eventually I decided to go back to school to get my degree as a “backup plan” for when my life in the woods inevitably turned sour. I worked for my dad while I lived at home and went to school for Anthropology. What a surprise when I realized (for the third time) that school isn’t where I thrive. So I dropped out one semester from finishing my degree, quit working for my dad, and went to the wilderness school whose programs I was raised in, to get a job... doing office work. I traded one boring desk job for another, convincing myself that I would love it because it was a non-profit I truly cared about. That and at least I wasn’t working for my dad.
7 months later, I realized that I don’t thrive working in an office for other people. Who knew. So I quit that job and moved in with my mom while I “figured things out,” tentatively planning a cross-country road trip to find myself, again. When the pandemic hit, I found myself locked in my mom’s basement, stuffing my face, getting lost in video games for days at a time, and wracking up credit card debt on things I didn’t need. I felt the descent into depression. When my dad reached out to ask for help again (the pandemic overwhelmed them with volume), I agreed to work for him because I was doing nothing better with my time and I had credit cards to pay off.
That help has evolved into me playing a major role in the business. I have moved in with my brother in Colorado, somewhere I’ve been wanting to live for a long time and a center of our business operations, and taken on many of the responsibilities of running the business and helping to optimize our systems. Office work, yet again. My father has grand plans for the future of the business and I’m a part of those. I’m essentially being given a segment of the business that doesn’t exist yet and being told to build it myself with my father’s financial support and guidance. Which would be awesome if I didn’t have this nagging feeling every day that I’m doing the wrong thing again.
I just want to pause and say that I recognize my incredible privilege. I’ve grown up pretty much free from the suffering of poverty and have never had to worry about where I’m sleeping and what I’m eating every day. All of my schooling was subsidized by my parents so I have no loan debt. Our family is not rich but we are very capable of supporting ourselves, with the potential to earn whatever we want. My father has worked for most of his life to build this business to support the people around him and my gratitude for the sacrifices he’s made and hardships he’s endured is unending. I have no idea where I’d be today without him. He is also a good man and a good father, albeit an often absent one. His wisdom and guidance is some of the most valuable I have ever received. Truly a remarkable man and entrepreneur. He’s the one who recommended Unscripted to me.
Disclaimer aside, he is not an easy person to work for. He strives for and demands excellence and has a standard that few can meet. I have always been reluctant to work for him because of the impact I have seen it have on his relationship with my older brother. Having a father for a boss changes the way you interact with him and how you feel about him. I’ve always been terrified of our relationship being ruined because I didn’t meet his expectations at work.
Anyway, I’m being given this low-risk, high-yield-potential opportunity to build something of my own but I don’t feel like it will ever be mine. It will only exist because of him and he will have a stake in it and an amount of control in its direction. Another catch is that I’m still doing the mundane bookkeeping work that I abhor and am not very good at anyway. If I want to pursue this opportunity, I’m kind of expected to also do bookkeeping, at least for a time until we can hire someone else to do it. I’m not holding my breath because it is notoriously difficult to hire someone up to my father’s standards, one of the business’s many issues.
I know I don’t have a lot to complain about, but I feel unfulfilled and like I’m still a child, doing my father’s bidding and trying not to disappoint him. I am still very much dependent on him and feel like I owe him my time and work for it. I feel like I will never be able to break away from the business and make something truly my own. Am I crazy to want to pass up this opportunity? A chance to build a business with his safety net would get me some serious experience points but I’m not sure if it’s worth it to feel like he’s still holding my hand. Why not get started now doing something of my own? But I also don’t really see an alternative right now. The rest of my family depends on the business too, not just me. Me leaving it could be a major blow that might cause others to suffer. I also don’t have an idea for what my venture is yet. I spend all day looking around for problems that need solving and value that I can create, but I’m coming up short. I’m still pretty new to an entrepreneurial mindset and I think my eyes and ears aren’t trained enough yet. I know the needs exist, but I just haven’t been able to identify them.
Well, I deeply appreciate you if you’ve read all of this. It’s the first time I’ve really told some of my story and I figured there would be others like me here who might identify with things that I’ve said.
MJ, if you happen to read this, a personal thanks for the wisdom in your books. I do feel like they have changed the course of my life and expertly articulated a lot of the things I was already feeling. I can’t unsee the script now and I’m very grateful for that.
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