Finally had my FTE

[Mr4213]

Haven't posted to the forum in a while. I’m going to start posting on this execution thread at least once a week.

Finally had my F*ck this event. It was the culmination of several things.

My business failed a couple of years ago.

Afterwards, my Grandmother died and we lost the house so I was forced to move in with a friend who hooked me up with a job.

My mother, brother and father are drug addicts so I stopped talking to them. Felt completely alone in a city I’ve never been to and didn't have a dollar to my name.

Had some success but then started becoming scared that I wasn't doing anything with my life so I started taking 18 hours of class last fall, while working 40 hours a week. Made straight As but burnt myself out and failed classes right at the end of the semester. I paid out of pocket so it wasted all of my savings I managed to build (thousands).

I had a car accident and then shortly after getting it fixed it got repossessed, fortunately I was able to get it back. My credit was destroyed and my finances were F*cked.

Went into a spiral of depression/anxiety and started drinking every single day. If I wasn't at work, I was drunk. Even at work I would sometimes be drunk.

I serve in the National Guard and this summer I got sent to Europe for annual training. During the month away I was able to sober up and clear my mind a little bit.

When I got back last month, I had a week off before I had to go back to my civilian job.

I had a lot of time to think about my life and goals.

At first, I started thinking about how I would afford college this upcoming year. It soon became obvious that I couldn't afford housing and college tuition unless I took out loans. My contract with the National Guard ends next March, so as an incentive for a 6 year reenlistment the military was offering me additional educational benefits. At the time I felt like reenlisting was the best thing for me.

I came really close to reenlisting and taking out massive loans to pursue a law degree. At the same time though, I also wanted to be an entrepreneur. Due to the anxiety and depression caused by the past couple of years, I was incapable of making any decisions about what I wanted.

I realized that I couldn't make a decision about what I wanted because I didn't even know who I was anymore. I had forgotten what my values and goals were.

I started trying to remember who I was a few years ago.

I knew my old postings on the forum would help remind me, but I avoided looking at them due to the sting of failure.

I eventually forced myself to read though all of my early posts on this forum. It helped a lot, and it also showed me how ignorant and immature I was. A lot of the posts made me cringe and I had a hard time reading the immature things I was posting.

After that, I decided to read Unscripted again. It was refreshing.

When I was done reading it, I took a hard look at myself.

I decided that the only way I could make a decision was if I knew what my values really were. So I stayed up all night figuring them out and I didn't go to sleep until I knew what my values were and I had a final decision.

It took almost two days before I figured it out.

I value my time and the freedom to make decisions with my life without outside influence. I value thinking for myself. I value pursuing my dreams, instead of working to achieve others dreams.

I don’t value chasing money. I don’t value a college degree. I don’t value debt and I don’t value what society tells me I should value.

I realized going to college went against what my values were. Student loans don’t free my time up or allow me to make my own decisions. It enslaves me. I would’ve lived in poverty for another 6 years and accumulated over $150k in debt for a law degree that I would have hated. I would’ve been working for years to pay that off.

I was afraid of pursuing my own path because I didn't want to feel like a failure. I was allowing the script to tell me how to think.

I got on Facebook and looked at the people who are “successful” by societies definition. I was once jealous and compared myself to them, but now it was the opposite.

Those people seem happy on social media, but most aren't really happy. They went straight down the scripted pipeline. Now they have thousands in student loans, a mortgage, financed vehicles and a family that requires consumption. They sold out and their dreams are dead.

I would never be happy with that. They aren't working to live, they are living to work. I don’t care about social media or what people are doing with their lives now. It doesn't matter. I think for myself and the only person I compare myself to is me.

I don’t want to be on my deathbed and regret what I did with my life. I would rather be an entrepreneur and end up poor my entire life. On my deathbed I would die happy because I spent my life chasing my dreams, I would have no regrets about that.

I dropped out of college and quit drinking. I started eating healthy working out and getting 8 hours of sleep a night. I started putting all of my extra money towards paying my car off early. Its scheduled to be paid off in two years, but I paid $1,000 towards the principal this month and will have it paid off by this November.

After the car is paid I will take all the money I was paying towards that, and put it into savings. In December I am going to get a second job so I can save more. Next August I am going to move out and will have between 6 to 10 thousand saved up.

I shifted my mind away from event thinking, and now I think in terms of process. Right now I am just focused on taking it slowly and repeating the processes I have built up over this month. By staying with the processes I have right now, all of my debts will be paid I will have an apartment and I will have plenty of money saved up by next August to put towards business creation.

I am going to spend the next year learning and searching for ways to provide value and solve problems. But I won’t pursue anything that will interfere with the goals I have for this year. To me it's a process, building a good foundation is apart of the process to create a successful business.

Anyways, it’s good to be apart of the community again.

 

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[Mr4213]

I wanted to add an update for this week to the thread like I said I would


One big area I have been focused on for the past month has been to modify my belief systems and behaviors.


I’ve started to realize how event driven I have been in life. Now, I look at everything from a process perspective. I know it starts with small habits and positive events are a culmination of the habits you form.


I now follow the exact same routines every day before work and after work.


I’ve started buying groceries for myself every week (instead of always eating out every single day)


At first it was just a whole bunch of tv dinners and easy stuff, just to ease myself in. This was all very new to me honestly.


After a couple weeks of that, I’ve shifted to healthier foods and I am starting to meal prep all my meals for the week.


I have already lost about 6 pounds over the past two weeks, from just eating right. My body has been feeling great and I’ve been saving a ton of money.


My next step is to start working out every day at the same time. I am going to start small and gradually build up the workout intensity.


My financial goals are progressing exactly the way I’ve been wanting. As soon as I am paid, I pay my bills/living expenses and then put all of the extra money towards my car note. It will be paid off by this November (two years early)


As a result of getting my life together, my anxieties and depression have been fading away.


Instead of worrying about all these little things like I used to, my mind is clear to think about things that progress my goals.


I’ve been spending my time figuring out what it means to be an entrepreneur and what it is I am after.


I no longer care about chasing money. It’s value I am chasing. I now know that by chasing problems and solving them I create real value for people, which in turn will generate money as a byproduct.


Money is no longer the end goal for me. It has nothing to do with money, and everything to do with time. I only desire money as a means to free up my time. We only get one life, and I want to spend my life doing exactly what I want to do only because I want to do it.


I think this shift in thinking has been huge for me.


I look at easy start up businesses (which are 99% of companies it seems like) and can now see its just people chasing money. They want to start something easy (like a blog or real estate investing) because they just want money and the event. They do not care about solving problems, the process or creating value. It’s obvious why most of them fail.


I have come to terms with the fact that real entrepreneurship takes years, is a process, and is not easy.


When I find problems that need solving, the high challenge and time it will take no longer scare me. Instead, it attracts me and I embrace it.


My daily mental thought processes have been changing.


Every time I hear someone complain I start thinking about what the problem is and how to solve it, I’m starting to do it automatically.


I’ve started to analyze how things run at the company I work for with the goal of finding problems to solve or systems to improve.


I was able to identify several problems at my workplace that are costing my employer tons of money. I work for a private multi million dollar company, so I am in constant contact with the owner.


I came up with possible solutions for the problems. I then took them to the owner strictly as a way to provide him value. I wasn't trying to sell him on anything. I just wanted to point out problems I’ve seen and how he might fix them. I found out he was already working with another company to implement the ideas I had envisioned. He told me to come see him again if I had any other ideas.


While it sucks that it's already being solved, it motivates me and affirms that I am on the right path. It means I identified genuine problems and came up with real solutions that create value.


I realized that just about everyone that talks to my company owner, is always asking him for something. I think my employer (a multimillionaire entrepreneur) really enjoyed seeing me try to bring him value, instead of trying to get something from him. I’m sure that does not happen often. I saw his face light up when we started talking about his company and different ways to solve problems with it.


I don’t want this post to run on too long.


Overall, I am really happy with the progress I’ve made over the past month. I have complete faith in the process and I know it will all take time and effort. I have already seen huge positive changes in the past few weeks due to following process, and not chasing events.

 

[ZF Lee]

I’ve started buying groceries for myself every week (instead of always eating out every single day)


At first it was just a whole bunch of tv dinners and easy stuff, just to ease myself in. This was all very new to me honestly.


After a couple weeks of that, I’ve shifted to healthier foods and I am starting to meal prep all my meals for the week.


I have already lost about 6 pounds over the past two weeks, from just eating right. My body has been feeling great and I’ve been saving a ton of money.

Good work!

This on cooking regularly.
I swear that the student environment around the last dorm I stayed in was actually influencing everyone to eat out and cook less, as they had cafes and restaurants all around the place, with menus filled with unhealthy carbs.

Could be a reason why I was happy to move out to live on my own.

I found out he was already working with another company to implement the ideas I had envisioned. He told me to come see him again if I had any other ideas.

Again, nice work!

Just a heads-up, just because folks work on an idea, doesn't means they will always go 100% with it.
In fact, they might just shelf it until much later, and by then when they 'rediscover' it, they mistakenly think it is a novelty.

For example, for my freelancing, I'm working on sending ACTUAL VIDEOS, 100% original crafted, of myself talking to the prospect, instead of just sending text messages.

Would be nice for prospects to see and listen to an actual human freelancer, rather than some mysterious avatar from India.

However, I could have done it from the beginning when I first started freelancing.
Sending people videos isn't exactly rocket science, but I guess I sucked at marketing and standing out haha.

See if you can bring out the solution to market quicker, or to another industry.

 

[NMdad]

I saw his face light up when we started talking about his company and different ways to solve problems with it.

Like you said: process. You changed your process to focus on noticing problems as opportunities. Then, you took the additional step of providing value to your company's owner.

Like @ZF Lee said, even if the owner is having someone else solve those problems, it might not work out. And, you have INSIDERS experience & expertise that could be your value skew to solve the problem better.

And, there are always problems--since you uncovered some, you can uncover more.

Your company has competitors & there are similar non-competitor companies in related industries/niches who are likely struggling with those same problems. You might consider approaching them with the problem-solution, and see if you can parlay it into consulting revenue (or structure it where you get a % of cost savings or a bonus based on increase in revenue).

Keep going--you're on the right track!

 

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[Mr4213]

I missed posting in this thread for a couple of weeks, but I haven't forgot about it. I didn't start and give up. It wasn't an event.

I am going to be completely honest with this forum.

I have ADHD and I got distracted for a little while from my goals. I can get on a routine, but easily get side tracked from my goals. It has happened all my life, but not this time though.

Entrepreneurship isn't just something I talk about. It is who I am. I am living it. I am not as successful as I want to be. But I am living the dream because I haven't let my dream die.

I am not here to BS people. I want people starting out in their journey to view this thread and find inspiration. One day people will view this thread and see how I built an empire from the ground up. I promise.

Right now as I write this thread I am completely poor and came from nothing. I grew up with a yearly family income of around $2,000/yearly. But years from now people will view me as a success and my success will give them inspiration. This thread will detail every step of the process I took.

I'm not going to sit here and talk about success. I understand entrepreneurship is a process, and that means failing at times.

Today, I am going to talk about my failure. Failure brings success. Failure is the only way to get better.

I lost a battle over the past two weeks.

I had a daily routine that was helping my life get better in every way.

The sad thing is that I just didn't grow up with that routine or mentality.

My mind was fighting that routine even though it was best for me.

I started turning back to alcohol and events that stimulated me.

I started sleeping less, eating shitty food and I stopped working out.

But this week I turned it back around even though my mind was fighting against it.

I don't expect myself to fix every problem I have within a month. I am only human. Its a process.

Later this week I will update this thread. (I have work tomorrow and need to get to sleep soon)

 

[ZF Lee]

The sad thing is that I just didn't grow up with that routine or mentality.

My mind was fighting that routine even though it was best for me.

I started turning back to alcohol and events that stimulated me.

I started sleeping less, eating shitty food and I stopped working out.

But this week I turned it back around even though my mind was fighting against it.

I don't expect myself to fix every problem I have within a month. I am only human. Its a process.

Later this week I will update this thread. (I have work tomorrow and need to get to sleep soon)

Hang in there.

I myself fell into that hole, when I first began college. I didn't exactly have beer-drinkers and party-goers around me all the time, but when you see young kids around you living mediocre lives, just surviving and breathing, you slowly take to them.

It took me a long time to figure the following countermeasure...

Try this:

Tie the habit to be accomplished to something that will give you PAIN if you don't do it.

The pain can be anything, but one kind of 'beneficial pain' I like is 'the pain from being tied to your word'.

I'll give you an example.

I wanted to start building a business relationship with a local author.

So, one obvious path was to look at her website, provide some free nuggets on improvements to her web copy.

So, I went to polish up her landing pages.

God was it tough. Wrestling with HTML and all that crap. And browsing back to web copy blogs, books and inspiring examples...

But if I didn't do it, I knew deep down, that probably, I'd never meet someone like her again.
And I GAVE MY WORD to her that I'll deliver the goods.

When you give your word to someone, you cannot backtrack, or else you shit on your reputation and integrity.

So I did it, one way or another.

These days, when I come back for her regular meetup.com session, she spots me coming in and exclaims, 'Hi, it's you again!'....out of a meeting of 20-30 folks?

 

[Mr4213]

Hang in there.

I myself fell into that hole, when I first began college. I didn't exactly have beer-drinkers and party-goers around me all the time, but when you see young kids around you living mediocre lives, just surviving and breathing, you slowly take to them.

It took me a long time to figure the following countermeasure...

Try this:

Tie the habit to be accomplished to something that will give you PAIN if you don't do it.

The pain can be anything, but one kind of 'beneficial pain' I like is 'the pain from being tied to your word'.

I'll give you an example.

I wanted to start building a business relationship with a local author.

So, one obvious path was to look at her website, provide some free nuggets on improvements to her web copy.

So, I went to polish up her landing pages.

God was it tough. Wrestling with HTML and all that crap. And browsing back to web copy blogs, books and inspiring examples...

But if I didn't do it, I knew deep down, that probably, I'd never meet someone like her again.
And I GAVE MY WORD to her that I'll deliver the goods.

When you give your word to someone, you cannot backtrack, or else you shit on your reputation and integrity.

So I did it, one way or another.

These days, when I come back for her regular meetup.com session, she spots me coming in and exclaims, 'Hi, it's you again!'....out of a meeting of 20-30 folks?

ZF Lee, I just want to say I really appreciate the time you have taken to respond to my thread. I value your time.

I would really love to reach out to you on a personal level if that is okay? May I send you a message?

I enjoy building my network. I do not care about money. I'm not here to make money or trick people.

I only seek to surround myself with like minded people. If you are okay with that, maybe we can call each other and we can exchange ideas at some point?

Please let me know.

 

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[ZF Lee]

ZF Lee, I just want to say I really appreciate the time you have taken to respond to my thread. I value your time.

I would really love to reach out to you on a personal level if that is okay? May I send you a message?

I enjoy building my network. I do not care about money. I'm not here to make money or trick people.

I only seek to surround myself with like minded people. If you are okay with that, maybe we can call each other and we can exchange ideas at some point?

Please let me know.

Yeah, sure. Feel free to do so!

I am in a different time zone though, so my replies can have some delays.

 

[Mr4213]

Yeah, sure. Feel free to do so!

I am in a different time zone though, so my replies can have some delays.

The delay is no issue. I am in no hurry. Thank you. I will send you a message now.

 

[NursingTn]

Change is hard.

Remember you are overcoming years of deep neural network in your brain that conditions you to live your life in the same way as much as possible.

True behavioral change isn't a one time thing. It is constant failing at making the new behavior stick until your brain makes the new behavior consistent.

Same thing with entrepreneurship. You fail, fail, fail until one of your ventures is successful.

Fail away, brother. It's a good thing to fail. It means you're learning what doesn't work so you know what works. It means you're becoming wiser. I rather fail a billion times than never start at all, or worse, quitting too early.

 

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