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Haven't posted to the forum in a while. I’m going to start posting on this execution thread at least once a week.
Finally had my F*ck this event. It was the culmination of several things.
My business failed a couple of years ago.
Afterwards, my Grandmother died and we lost the house so I was forced to move in with a friend who hooked me up with a job.
My mother, brother and father are drug addicts so I stopped talking to them. Felt completely alone in a city I’ve never been to and didn't have a dollar to my name.
Had some success but then started becoming scared that I wasn't doing anything with my life so I started taking 18 hours of class last fall, while working 40 hours a week. Made straight As but burnt myself out and failed classes right at the end of the semester. I paid out of pocket so it wasted all of my savings I managed to build (thousands).
I had a car accident and then shortly after getting it fixed it got repossessed, fortunately I was able to get it back. My credit was destroyed and my finances were F*cked.
Went into a spiral of depression/anxiety and started drinking every single day. If I wasn't at work, I was drunk. Even at work I would sometimes be drunk.
I serve in the National Guard and this summer I got sent to Europe for annual training. During the month away I was able to sober up and clear my mind a little bit.
When I got back last month, I had a week off before I had to go back to my civilian job.
I had a lot of time to think about my life and goals.
At first, I started thinking about how I would afford college this upcoming year. It soon became obvious that I couldn't afford housing and college tuition unless I took out loans. My contract with the National Guard ends next March, so as an incentive for a 6 year reenlistment the military was offering me additional educational benefits. At the time I felt like reenlisting was the best thing for me.
I came really close to reenlisting and taking out massive loans to pursue a law degree. At the same time though, I also wanted to be an entrepreneur. Due to the anxiety and depression caused by the past couple of years, I was incapable of making any decisions about what I wanted.
I realized that I couldn't make a decision about what I wanted because I didn't even know who I was anymore. I had forgotten what my values and goals were.
I started trying to remember who I was a few years ago.
I knew my old postings on the forum would help remind me, but I avoided looking at them due to the sting of failure.
I eventually forced myself to read though all of my early posts on this forum. It helped a lot, and it also showed me how ignorant and immature I was. A lot of the posts made me cringe and I had a hard time reading the immature things I was posting.
After that, I decided to read Unscripted again. It was refreshing.
When I was done reading it, I took a hard look at myself.
I decided that the only way I could make a decision was if I knew what my values really were. So I stayed up all night figuring them out and I didn't go to sleep until I knew what my values were and I had a final decision.
It took almost two days before I figured it out.
I value my time and the freedom to make decisions with my life without outside influence. I value thinking for myself. I value pursuing my dreams, instead of working to achieve others dreams.
I don’t value chasing money. I don’t value a college degree. I don’t value debt and I don’t value what society tells me I should value.
I realized going to college went against what my values were. Student loans don’t free my time up or allow me to make my own decisions. It enslaves me. I would’ve lived in poverty for another 6 years and accumulated over $150k in debt for a law degree that I would have hated. I would’ve been working for years to pay that off.
I was afraid of pursuing my own path because I didn't want to feel like a failure. I was allowing the script to tell me how to think.
I got on Facebook and looked at the people who are “successful” by societies definition. I was once jealous and compared myself to them, but now it was the opposite.
Those people seem happy on social media, but most aren't really happy. They went straight down the scripted pipeline. Now they have thousands in student loans, a mortgage, financed vehicles and a family that requires consumption. They sold out and their dreams are dead.
I would never be happy with that. They aren't working to live, they are living to work. I don’t care about social media or what people are doing with their lives now. It doesn't matter. I think for myself and the only person I compare myself to is me.
I don’t want to be on my deathbed and regret what I did with my life. I would rather be an entrepreneur and end up poor my entire life. On my deathbed I would die happy because I spent my life chasing my dreams, I would have no regrets about that.
I dropped out of college and quit drinking. I started eating healthy working out and getting 8 hours of sleep a night. I started putting all of my extra money towards paying my car off early. Its scheduled to be paid off in two years, but I paid $1,000 towards the principal this month and will have it paid off by this November.
After the car is paid I will take all the money I was paying towards that, and put it into savings. In December I am going to get a second job so I can save more. Next August I am going to move out and will have between 6 to 10 thousand saved up.
I shifted my mind away from event thinking, and now I think in terms of process. Right now I am just focused on taking it slowly and repeating the processes I have built up over this month. By staying with the processes I have right now, all of my debts will be paid I will have an apartment and I will have plenty of money saved up by next August to put towards business creation.
I am going to spend the next year learning and searching for ways to provide value and solve problems. But I won’t pursue anything that will interfere with the goals I have for this year. To me it's a process, building a good foundation is apart of the process to create a successful business.
Anyways, it’s good to be apart of the community again.
Finally had my F*ck this event. It was the culmination of several things.
My business failed a couple of years ago.
Afterwards, my Grandmother died and we lost the house so I was forced to move in with a friend who hooked me up with a job.
My mother, brother and father are drug addicts so I stopped talking to them. Felt completely alone in a city I’ve never been to and didn't have a dollar to my name.
Had some success but then started becoming scared that I wasn't doing anything with my life so I started taking 18 hours of class last fall, while working 40 hours a week. Made straight As but burnt myself out and failed classes right at the end of the semester. I paid out of pocket so it wasted all of my savings I managed to build (thousands).
I had a car accident and then shortly after getting it fixed it got repossessed, fortunately I was able to get it back. My credit was destroyed and my finances were F*cked.
Went into a spiral of depression/anxiety and started drinking every single day. If I wasn't at work, I was drunk. Even at work I would sometimes be drunk.
I serve in the National Guard and this summer I got sent to Europe for annual training. During the month away I was able to sober up and clear my mind a little bit.
When I got back last month, I had a week off before I had to go back to my civilian job.
I had a lot of time to think about my life and goals.
At first, I started thinking about how I would afford college this upcoming year. It soon became obvious that I couldn't afford housing and college tuition unless I took out loans. My contract with the National Guard ends next March, so as an incentive for a 6 year reenlistment the military was offering me additional educational benefits. At the time I felt like reenlisting was the best thing for me.
I came really close to reenlisting and taking out massive loans to pursue a law degree. At the same time though, I also wanted to be an entrepreneur. Due to the anxiety and depression caused by the past couple of years, I was incapable of making any decisions about what I wanted.
I realized that I couldn't make a decision about what I wanted because I didn't even know who I was anymore. I had forgotten what my values and goals were.
I started trying to remember who I was a few years ago.
I knew my old postings on the forum would help remind me, but I avoided looking at them due to the sting of failure.
I eventually forced myself to read though all of my early posts on this forum. It helped a lot, and it also showed me how ignorant and immature I was. A lot of the posts made me cringe and I had a hard time reading the immature things I was posting.
After that, I decided to read Unscripted again. It was refreshing.
When I was done reading it, I took a hard look at myself.
I decided that the only way I could make a decision was if I knew what my values really were. So I stayed up all night figuring them out and I didn't go to sleep until I knew what my values were and I had a final decision.
It took almost two days before I figured it out.
I value my time and the freedom to make decisions with my life without outside influence. I value thinking for myself. I value pursuing my dreams, instead of working to achieve others dreams.
I don’t value chasing money. I don’t value a college degree. I don’t value debt and I don’t value what society tells me I should value.
I realized going to college went against what my values were. Student loans don’t free my time up or allow me to make my own decisions. It enslaves me. I would’ve lived in poverty for another 6 years and accumulated over $150k in debt for a law degree that I would have hated. I would’ve been working for years to pay that off.
I was afraid of pursuing my own path because I didn't want to feel like a failure. I was allowing the script to tell me how to think.
I got on Facebook and looked at the people who are “successful” by societies definition. I was once jealous and compared myself to them, but now it was the opposite.
Those people seem happy on social media, but most aren't really happy. They went straight down the scripted pipeline. Now they have thousands in student loans, a mortgage, financed vehicles and a family that requires consumption. They sold out and their dreams are dead.
I would never be happy with that. They aren't working to live, they are living to work. I don’t care about social media or what people are doing with their lives now. It doesn't matter. I think for myself and the only person I compare myself to is me.
I don’t want to be on my deathbed and regret what I did with my life. I would rather be an entrepreneur and end up poor my entire life. On my deathbed I would die happy because I spent my life chasing my dreams, I would have no regrets about that.
I dropped out of college and quit drinking. I started eating healthy working out and getting 8 hours of sleep a night. I started putting all of my extra money towards paying my car off early. Its scheduled to be paid off in two years, but I paid $1,000 towards the principal this month and will have it paid off by this November.
After the car is paid I will take all the money I was paying towards that, and put it into savings. In December I am going to get a second job so I can save more. Next August I am going to move out and will have between 6 to 10 thousand saved up.
I shifted my mind away from event thinking, and now I think in terms of process. Right now I am just focused on taking it slowly and repeating the processes I have built up over this month. By staying with the processes I have right now, all of my debts will be paid I will have an apartment and I will have plenty of money saved up by next August to put towards business creation.
I am going to spend the next year learning and searching for ways to provide value and solve problems. But I won’t pursue anything that will interfere with the goals I have for this year. To me it's a process, building a good foundation is apart of the process to create a successful business.
Anyways, it’s good to be apart of the community again.
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