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- May 19, 2015
- 366
- 313
Some background info. So met up with people for the first time in years. I have been isolating myself in mom's basement building and learning my fastlane. I realized this whole time that I have been illogically optimistic that I was gonna at least be self-employed in at least 3 years. I am at another low point. Building this fastlane, I have strived so far from reality. I literally put fastlane above everything in my life. I MEAN everything.
Lost all friends, destroyed family relationships, so much to the point I realized I have no social skills whatsoever now. It was an early Memorial Day Party, I couldn't even do basic human things like help people without constantly reminding myself. I have become so selfish for my fastlane venture, I had to keep reminding myself of basic human actions like setup chairs and shit, have conversations. I have pretty much developed social anxiety. A kid was also getting bullied and I couldn't even step in to stop the situation. I am a young dude at 24 years old, my health has dropped exponentially as well.
The bad thing about this whole thing is that I have kept my slowlane job completely stagnant. As in, every hour in slowlane, I feel my body dieing and I am learning no valuable skills. Money is also significantly shorter than it should be because I failed so DAMN hard.
"No point in progressing or changing careers in slowlane world, because yah know my fastlane is going to work. Why invest in any slowlane or change career when I am going to be out soon anyways" I can't seem to break from this philosophy either.
I don't like to blame people because it is very naive and not being accountable, but reading that fastlane book really made me hate the system so much I can't take any slowlane job seriously. It is all a joke to me.
Going to this party, made me realize how much I missed out on life. How the hell am I suppose to build my self back from this wreck I dug myself to. This fastlane thing literally F*cked me up. Yes, I am definitely more self aware and woke up, but have been unhappy and pissed ever since. Literally pissed constantly for about 3 years.
The thing that gripes me the most is that the people I talked to are living life to the fullest, traveling, going to concerts, movies, but guess what, they also have significantly more money while enjoying life. Money is the fuel to freedom and since it is what I want so deeply.
I have also talked to people at the party that did have fastlane ventures, they literally started it 1 year ago and made it and it isn't even their priority. No Joke. I'm like wtf. I am hear doing this shit non-stop and nothing.
So much survivor bias, I am sure there are so many people that F'd their lives up like me doing fastlane.
This actually turned kind of into a rant, wasn't really suppose to be but got carried away.
Another thing about fastlane is that I read it in a way that the stock market is the enemy and nobody gets rich off the stock market. So I totally wrote that idea off in the beginning, but it is the very thing that is actually making me money.
I have 2 products in half development. Should I just drop it and be like F*ck it. Dissolve business and screw it? My business is not an asset, but a liability.
I kinda want to just die now. Goddamn idk guys
Lost all friends, destroyed family relationships, so much to the point I realized I have no social skills whatsoever now. It was an early Memorial Day Party, I couldn't even do basic human things like help people without constantly reminding myself. I have become so selfish for my fastlane venture, I had to keep reminding myself of basic human actions like setup chairs and shit, have conversations. I have pretty much developed social anxiety. A kid was also getting bullied and I couldn't even step in to stop the situation. I am a young dude at 24 years old, my health has dropped exponentially as well.
The bad thing about this whole thing is that I have kept my slowlane job completely stagnant. As in, every hour in slowlane, I feel my body dieing and I am learning no valuable skills. Money is also significantly shorter than it should be because I failed so DAMN hard.
"No point in progressing or changing careers in slowlane world, because yah know my fastlane is going to work. Why invest in any slowlane or change career when I am going to be out soon anyways" I can't seem to break from this philosophy either.
I don't like to blame people because it is very naive and not being accountable, but reading that fastlane book really made me hate the system so much I can't take any slowlane job seriously. It is all a joke to me.
Going to this party, made me realize how much I missed out on life. How the hell am I suppose to build my self back from this wreck I dug myself to. This fastlane thing literally F*cked me up. Yes, I am definitely more self aware and woke up, but have been unhappy and pissed ever since. Literally pissed constantly for about 3 years.
The thing that gripes me the most is that the people I talked to are living life to the fullest, traveling, going to concerts, movies, but guess what, they also have significantly more money while enjoying life. Money is the fuel to freedom and since it is what I want so deeply.
I have also talked to people at the party that did have fastlane ventures, they literally started it 1 year ago and made it and it isn't even their priority. No Joke. I'm like wtf. I am hear doing this shit non-stop and nothing.
So much survivor bias, I am sure there are so many people that F'd their lives up like me doing fastlane.
This actually turned kind of into a rant, wasn't really suppose to be but got carried away.
Another thing about fastlane is that I read it in a way that the stock market is the enemy and nobody gets rich off the stock market. So I totally wrote that idea off in the beginning, but it is the very thing that is actually making me money.
I have 2 products in half development. Should I just drop it and be like F*ck it. Dissolve business and screw it? My business is not an asset, but a liability.
I kinda want to just die now. Goddamn idk guys
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