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It's time to right the ship for good

mrdob

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Hello! My name is Jules and I'm glad to be here. I live in the beautiful Pacific northwest now, but I grew up in San Diego, hated every second of it, and thankfully managed to get out after 30 years of misery and stagnation. Since then, my life has improved exponentially, but there is still a lot of work to be done.

I've been through a lot of shit; molested as a child, bombarded with hundreds of prescription pills and their horrific side effects spanning decades, threatened with institutionalization, and having to somehow trudge through life with untreated bipolar disorder, Tourette's, and a host of other brain bullshit. Dissociative Identity Disorder and its alters careening around my cavernous brainspace lobbing insults and doubts at me constantly. It sucks, man. I didn't sign up for this!!

I made excuses for these things all my life. I was surrounded by a bunch of deadbeat losers that assured me, almost condescendingly, that I shouldn't have to work a day in my life. And, believe it or not, I managed not to; government checks and tons of foolish impulse purchases has been the norm for my entire existence.

My FTE moment was about a week ago. I was sitting in front of my computer with my head in my hands and my thoughts racing from one suicidal scenario to the next. I stared lovingly at my shotgun, held it in my hands, and realized I was one trigger squeeze away from a sordid and cowardly "freedom."

Not long after, I was watching one of my favorite Youtubers, Joshua Fluke, and he made an entire video dedicated to Unscripted and TMF and how they changed his life. He wholeheartedly recommended them, and I managed to crawl out of my shell for one minute and downloaded both books (sorry, I'm broke!!). Instantly I was hit with a burning rush of both anger and vindication, a chain reaction of revelation after revelation about all the bullshit I've been fed and the moribund, miserable government-dependent life I'd been living. I realized it was either this or bust. I gently set my gun back down and locked the ammo up. It was time to start my journey.

(but don't fret; when I do get the money, I will buy all three of his books and make some kind of altar or shrine dedicated to them. bet on it.)

However, I'm 35 now and one disaster away from complete financial ruin. I can't take this anymore. I can't keep letting time go by and watching my mom, the person who fought tooth and nail for me and kept them from throwing me in the loony bin, slowly fade away and succumb to health issues.

I'd already had my doubts about the Sidewalk and Slowlane, but MJ's TMF book fused it into a white-hot, cohesive desire that is now impossible to extinguish. No more excuses. No more waiting. No more thinking about the easy way out. It's time to do this. For my mom, my friends, and most importantly, for me and my dreams.

I don't simply want. I WILL get mom her knee replacement, physical therapy, and a personal caregiver so that she can live with me for the rest of her life and not be trapped in a nursing home. I WILL realize my dream of building and living in a fantastic gothic horror mansion. I WILL go on to create games, art, music, and a whole host of other things, leaving a formidable legacy that my friends and others will not soon forget. I take medication that actually manages my brain in a way where I can not only function, I can thrive. All that's left is taking action. I WILL do this, and MJ made it possible. Thank you.

My plan so far is to take up freelance web design/development, build my clientele, and then find something I can sell using these skills: Digital assets for games and logos for brands, web page templates, plugins, and more. I'd love to hear feedback and ideas from other, more experienced forum users. This whole world of finance and entrepreneurship is completely new to me, but I'm ecstatic to use it as a golden learning opportunity.

I look forward to interacting with you all and striving to make our collective dreams come true! Let's do this together.
 
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MJ DeMarco

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Welcome aboard, glad to hear the books have giving you some grounding, what sounds like, a tough journey you've been travelling.
 

mrdob

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Welcome aboard, glad to hear the books have giving you some grounding, what sounds like, a tough journey you've been travelling.
Thank you so much MJ! Without you this wouldn't be possible. I've been through a lot but I figure hey, I've made it this far. I didn't think I'd make it past 18, let alone 35! Time to get things started. All the best.
 

mrdob

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@mrdob what are your first three moves to get you to your goal?
Great question. They are as follows:

1. Curb the spending.

I've improved at this, but the temptation to order Doordash every day or blow the limited monthly income I get on booze still persists. (7 years sober though... wahoo!) However, I keep telling myself that every dollar not spent on some instant gratification bullshit is a dollar I can use to get closer to my goal. Plus, I can order as much food and booze as I want later, once I'm in a good financial spot!

2. Become financially literate.

I'll admit I know very little about the world of finance, but it's never too late to learn! After all, it's likely in my best interest to be able to actually manage the money I'll be making. I plan on watching Youtube (MeetKevin and Graham Stephan are two that I know) and reading relevant material, but I don't know exactly where to start... suggestions and recommendations would be very much appreciated! I suppose I'll also peruse this here forum for more tidbits.

3. Start freelance web design/development and grow my clientele.

Web design pays well, I enjoy it, and I think I can really thrive in a freelancing framework by utilizing my personality and great social skills (I'm actually quite the extrovert) to win people over and build an army of disciples, as MJ put it. As the months go by I'll definitely be looking for ways to turn it into a more profitable business, but at least I know where to start for now.

On December 31st of this year, I see myself popping bottles with a comfortable amount of money in the bank and being safe and secure in the knowledge that I will never be homeless, my mom and I will always be taken care of, and that the sky's the limit. Onward and upward, always.
 
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ZCP

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@mrdob see how what you listed is grandiose and not very specific? a week from now you'll still be talking in general and have made little to no measurable progress.

what do you think about this version?
1. I will save $x by y day by doing xyz for 7 straight days. this will pay for item 3 below.
2. i will read x book and take y class by z date to learn how to create an offer. i will find a forum and discuss with 3 people the ACTIONABLE steps I learned. i will send 11 offers.
3. i will sign up for @Fox 's class, complete it, connect with 3 people in his group and obtain 1 client by x date by doing xyz every single day for 1 focused hour until done.

if we each used our respective lists above, who do you think will be closer to their goal at the end of next week?

get specific, measurable, actionable, realistic, and timely (SMART).

SO, @mrdob what are your first three moves to get you to your goal?
 

Rperrett2

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Welcome to the forum! Sounds like you are on the right track so I'm not sure if this is helpful or not but figured I would share...

Someone told me this once a long time ago when I was in a very dark place also. "You will respect yourself (as will other people) so much more once you rise above and get through all the bad things that have happened to you. Your story and determination will bring more positivity to you and the lives of others, more than you could have ever imagined"

I think about it often and it has helped me tremendously. Overcoming huge obstacles makes you appreciate all the good things in life so much more. I'm rooting for you!
 

mrdob

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@mrdob see how what you listed is grandiose and not very specific? a week from now you'll still be talking in general and have made little to no measurable progress.

what do you think about this version?
1. I will save $x by y day by doing xyz for 7 straight days. this will pay for item 3 below.
2. i will read x book and take y class by z date to learn how to create an offer. i will find a forum and discuss with 3 people the ACTIONABLE steps I learned. i will send 11 offers.
3. i will sign up for @Fox 's class, complete it, connect with 3 people in his group and obtain 1 client by x date by doing xyz every single day for 1 focused hour until done.

if we each used our respective lists above, who do you think will be closer to their goal at the end of next week?

get specific, measurable, actionable, realistic, and timely (SMART).

SO, @mrdob what are your first three moves to get you to your goal?
Yeah, I think I did spend too much time listing unrelated and not really focused things. And I'd like to say that I appreciate your up-front, cohesive, and no-BS advice instead of just serenading me with what I want to hear.

I think your approach sounds very reasonable and I think if more people followed that guideline, they'd achieve what they wanted faster, and with a stronger foundation in place.

So, revised three moves:

1. I'll save $50 dollars a week by not splurging on food delivery, I'll only buy the absolute essentials at the store and nothing more, and I'll get some of our antique furniture appraised and sell my record collection for some more cash to keep a roof over my head in the interim.

2. I'll finish reading Unscripted and Fox's book (fabulous reads so far), search for and take a class regarding sales, finance and marketing, and actively read and participate in threads concerning the aforementioned subjects on this forum and any other legit looking ones I can find.

3. I'll continue to develop my web design and marketing skills, take Fox's course, connect with people in his community and send proposals/offers (and do the same on Upwork), and have my first client by June 1st. I have lots and lots of free time so I'll do this for 3 hours a day.

I'll get started right away and keep you posted!
 
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Last edited:

mrdob

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Welcome to the forum! Sounds like you are on the right track so I'm not sure if this is helpful or not but figured I would share...

Someone told me this once a long time ago when I was in a very dark place also. "You will respect yourself (as will other people) so much more once you rise above and get through all the bad things that have happened to you. Your story and determination will bring more positivity to you and the lives of others, more than you could have ever imagined"

I think about it often and it has helped me tremendously. Overcoming huge obstacles makes you appreciate all the good things in life so much more. I'm rooting for you!
Thank you so much! I've already positively impacted the life of some dear friends of mine with motivation and encouragement, and I'll continue to do so. Send me a PM if you want to talk about anything at all! Let's keep in touch.
 

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