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My Firsthand Example of WHY You Should NEVER Do What You Love; and It’s Not What You Think.

Developmental

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When I was growing up, from the earliest I can remember I was car obsessed. At the age of four I had a book of “long, low and sleek” sports cars.


I ate, slept and drank cars, it was all I was interested in and all I would ever talk about.


Naturally I was desperate to learn to drive, passed my driving test at the age of 17 after 10 days of lessons. Two weeks after that I passed my race driving licence. All paid for by washing dishes at the local restaurant.


I loved it, in the first 12 months of driving I had covered 25,000 miles on the road for no reason other than I enjoyed it. I was car mad, obsessed even.


After passing my shortly after my race test I got my instructor’s ticket and became a self employed racing driver at the age of 18. I worked for two local(ish) companies that did driving experiences. I did the passenger rides.


I was paid to drive Ferraris and Lamborghinis on a race track. Let me write that again, I was paid to drive exotic sports cars that most people could only dream of sitting in let alone owning. And I was paid rather well for it.

In the first 3 years of holding my driver’s licence I owned 14 different cars, sometimes 3 cars at the same time, all of my earnings went on my cars and I loved my life (sidewalk or what?)


I could find work driving at what ever race track I wanted – this is sounding more like a success story right?


I worked in that industry for four years and after that time I HATED driving.


The one thing that defined me, my love of cars, was absolutely killed by that job.


Everyone who got in a car with me told me I had the best job in the world, and for a while I agreed with them. But after 30,000 laps of the same track I can tell you I had more than my fill of cars and wanted nothing more to do with them.


I did that job because I loved driving cars. I didn’t do it because I loved hospitality or enjoying the thrill the customers got out of it. I did it because I got to drive cars I could never afford. I was in it for all the wrong reasons.


[TL : DR] In summary don’t do what you love, because even if you are lucky enough to make a living out of it you wont love for very long. You should love the value you create. The process is hard, and the process should be hard, but it will be justified by your love of the value that is created through it.


We know @MJ DeMarco didn’t love driving limos by the end, and I’m pretty sure he didn’t love coding the website, but what I’m also pretty sure of is that he was passionate about simplifying the process of booking a limo, about making it easier for people. He loved the value he created, not the process.

If you don’t love the value you create, it is selfish, you are in it for the wrong reasons and you are doing it for yourself. You are not doing it for your market or your customers and we all know that isn’t fastlane.


The desire to do what you love comes from the slowlane mentality – “Well if I am forced to trade my time for money I might as well try to enjoy it”


I resent that slowlane/owning a job/business for killing my passion for cars, I wish I had worked in a different area to get the income to do what I loved on my own terms.


I have taken this lesson to heart with my fastlane startup, I don’t enjoy the process particularly but I am passionate about the value I’m creating/will be creating and that makes it all worthwhile - remember, the process is part of the barrier to entry, if you don’t want to be like everybody else, you have to be willing to work harder and do things they can’t be bothered to do.
 
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Digamma

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Good post, and good point.

I agree totally on the not doing what you love bit. When I was a teenager I managed to become extremely good as a programmer, and started to really like developing web applications. Then I started doing freelance work, and well.. I quit programming for years before starting again. It completely destroyed my passion for it.

That's why I refuse to work on a programming related business - programming is a tool I love and use for business, but it's not the business itself. Same goes for writing.

Also, on the "loving the value" - I agree, you should love creating value. That is the core on the entrepreneurial mind: creating wealth instead of just exchanging your time for money. How do you do that? By creating something more valuable than just the time you put in it.
 

Lakeview

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After reading The Fastlane Millionaire I look at doing what you love a little different. I think most people, that do what they love, try to build a business around the "doing" part of what they love instead of looking at it as a true entrepreneur would. After all, that is what slowlane society teaches us, to do things. With the special knowledge gained by doing what you loved, can you identify a need and build a scalable business around filling that need?

Using your example, love and passion for cars progressed to wanting to drive and be the best at it. You pursued that dream, accomplished it then plateaued to a point of burnout. Exactly the point you are making, don't do what you love because it becomes repetitious and ultimately turns into trading time for money.

Let's step back a moment and look at it differently, perhaps as an entrepreneur would. We agree your act of just doing what you love, driving the cars, became slowlane. Now what if you took that wealth of knowledge and experience you gained and channeled that into an entrepreneur mindset? What if you turned your passion from the doing or driving part to a way to create value and managed that to a scalable business?

If looked at it from that perspective is there anything wrong with what you love and following your passion? Could it be that the doing is detrimental because you were not identifying a way to create value and manage it to reality?
 

MJ DeMarco

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He loved the value he created, not the process.

If you don’t love the value you create, it is selfish, you are in it for the wrong reasons and you are doing it for yourself. You are not doing it for your market or your customers and we all know that isn’t fastlane.

but I am passionate about the value

Bingo.

I've marked this GOLD because it is everything I've been trying to say for YEARS. And it's GOLD because it doesn't need to be lost among 1000's of other pages.

And your example is most profound because it involves sports cars, a "high-passion" field where it would simply seem so obvious to "do what you love".
 
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MJ DeMarco

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The path to success is moreso paved with "do what you hate" vs "do what you love."

@Likwid24 has mentioned several times here he's not a big fan of public speaking. Neither am I. These are definitely not "loves" of ours. And yet the "do what you lover" might rationalize "I refuse to do that because I don't love it." -- I could refuse to pack books. I could refuse to engage people on here due to my introversion. I could refuse to do many things in my life (even now) simply because "I don't love it." -- but I don't, and I don't because doing what is necessary is more important the doing what you love. IMO, "do what you love" is a comfortable excuse to stay comfortable and not do what is required.
 

Writer

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The path to success is moreso paved with "do what you hate" vs "do what you love."

@Likwid24 has mentioned several times here he's not a big fan of public speaking. Neither am I. These are definitely not "loves" of ours. And yet the "do what you lover" might rationalize "I refuse to do that because I don't love it." -- I could refuse to pack books. I could refuse to engage people on here due to my introversion. I could refuse to do many things in my life (even now) simply because "I don't love it." -- but I don't, and I don't because doing what is necessary is more important the doing what you love. IMO, "do what you love" is a comfortable excuse to stay comfortable and not do what is required.

MJ, this is what I've learned during my brief stay on this forum.
Your post is right on time. Public speaking is something I dread, I would love to live without it. However, for my dayjob last Friday I had to give a presentation to the city's highest administrative ranks. While I was preparing for the presentation, I recognized that I had to learn public speaking not only because I need it, but because I hate it. I hate one of the most fundamental tools of human interaction, so I have to learn it to succeed. Just today at lunchtime I had my first Toastmasters meeting, which I am sure it's a step in the right direction.
 
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MJ DeMarco

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jkennedy

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Excellent points and I agree with Lakeview. It's the DOING that kills it by repetition.
Similarly I had a job doing graphic & website design which I loved at the time.
But after building sites for clients for years I got burnt out.

Now it's different. I have an online business that leverages the things I learned about what
I love and allows me to teach about what I love without "doing" it.

And now.. I love my business and it pays well :)
 
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Draven Grey

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I still teach "Do what you love AND be useful, and the money will follow", but it's the being useful part that most people don't get. I love Jim Collin's Hedgehog Concept for getting people focused, but even there, it's the economic engine part that most people try to skip. That's the most important part!
 

Simon Ashari

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Just today at lunchtime I had my first Toastmasters meeting, which I am sure it's a step in the right direction.

Introvert?

Big time. I also spent ten years in a lab...

@Writer I too am heavily introverted but have gone through toastmasters. It's well worth the time and a valuable skill to have. Especially when many refuse to do it.

There is a famous speaker and marketer by the name of Dan Kennedy. I once heard him say that he didn't 'love' public speaking (despite him giving many speeches a year to thousands of people).

He talks about people going out there and wanting to give a 'masterful' speech and get a rousing reception. Whereas he would follow a formula to speak for money and sell his products.

Many get sick of speaking and lose their passion. Dan Kennedy has been speaking for over 3 decades now.


The good thing about toasmasters is it gives you a formula. It gradually builds up your public speaking skill by skill until you are competent.

Good luck.
 

Writer

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@Writer I too am heavily introverted but have gone through toastmasters. It's well worth the time and a valuable skill to have. Especially when many refuse to do it.

There is a famous speaker and marketer by the name of Dan Kennedy. I once heard him say that he didn't 'love' public speaking (despite him giving many speeches a year to thousands of people).

He talks about people going out there and wanting to give a 'masterful' speech and get a rousing reception. Whereas he would follow a formula to speak for money and sell his products.

Many get sick of speaking and lose their passion. Dan Kennedy has been speaking for over 3 decades now.


The good thing about toasmasters is it gives you a formula. It gradually builds up your public speaking skill by skill until you are competent.

Good luck.

Thanks. Public Speaking is a major weakness that I want to transform into a major strength. After all, it's useful everywhere.
 

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I think most people mistake their "interests" for "passion". Here I'll use myself as an example...

I used to think creating art, whether it was my graphic digital designs, photography, film, and music was my PASSION. I too, did my 9-5 working within all of my "passion". As a matter of fact I even worked for myself doing what I "loved". However, as time went on at times I got frustrated, burnt out, stressed, to the point where those were the last things I wanted to do. Passion? Yeah, my PASSION fizzled out and only lasted to a point.Temporary indeed.

I realized that I was actually putting greater importance on these so called passion above myself and others. What do I mean by , "myself"? Let me explain.

"Myself" involves the different vital aspects of my LIFE. (think Maslow) My emotional life, physical (health) life, mental state, spiritual life, family, social (friends) and finally my FINANCIAL health. I had to take inventory and figure out just how much was I lacking or neglecting in each of these. I absolutely had to put every one of these issues into check and certainly into perspective. Yes, these should be your true passion.

In my death bed, I guarantee you that I will NOT be thinking to myself, "should of, would of,, could of". Instead I will want to the whatever I can with my most important time....NOW, and with the most important person is the one next to you NOW. And if they are toxic, the most important thing you can do is get away from them NOW. Failure never breaks me nor success makes me.

With that out of the way, let's get back to one subject that relates and is applicable to this forum here at this moment, that being our FINANCIAL health/life. The passion there should absolutely be about having the self controlled confidence and discipline to WORK OUT your financial well being. Work it out by NOT spending too much time thinking , planning, writing, reading, watching and talking about it. Rather, I absolutely - truly- truly - unequivocally adhere to WORKING smart and interdependently , EFFORT, ACTION, DOING, MOVING>>>>>f o r w a r d , GOING places, MEETING-ASKING(learning)-HELPING people, BUILDING, SOWING, DUTIFUL, and VIGILANT with any and all endeavors....NOW!!!!!

Many many hardships, trial& error, will be endured. But with all of that said, the bottom line will always be the actual DOING & BEING.

Yup, make that your passion... the passion of DOING, because that's where all the success and achievement happens.
 
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P3HSB

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Public speaking is something I dread, I would love to live without it.

Public Speaking is a major weakness that I want to transform into a major strength. After all, it's useful everywhere.

Same! Been struggling with public speaking my entire life. Probably has something to do with my strict Asian parents who disrupted/denied every single social opportunity I ever had when I was younger. Till this day, I still feel traumatized from what had occurred in the past.
 

Nicoknowsbest

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I have taken this lesson to heart with my fastlane startup, I don’t enjoy the process particularly but I am passionate about the value I’m creating/will be creating and that makes it all worthwhile - remember, the process is part of the barrier to entry, if you don’t want to be like everybody else, you have to be willing to work harder and do things they can’t be bothered to do.

Thanks for sharing @Developmental! Especially this last paragraph is essential. As @MJ DeMarco always states - there will be bumps in the road. If the value you are creating is what drives you, you will endure. And as you said, embracing the process sets you apart from the majority, looking for events.

Killing your passion might also deprive you of a source of energy - a source of fresh energy that you may need while setting up a fastlane biz (every now and then, when the road is getting bumpy) :)

Congrats for your realization & keep going!
 
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maxlane

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And if you are not doing what you love, you'll think "Oh why in the whole world am I doing this anyway." and customers will not get their stuff and you'll just think how meaningless and pathetic what you're doing is - even if it brings in the money or has the potential to make you rich. So I don't think doing what you don't like for the benefit of the world is a good strategy either.
 

Writer

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Same! Been struggling with public speaking my entire life. Probably has something to do with my strict Asian parents who disrupted/denied every single social opportunity I ever had when I was younger. Till this day, I still feel traumatized from what had occurred in the past.

The strange thing is that once I loosen up I am quite... good. I had several instances in which people believed that I couldn't talk - or that I was in a bad mood - and then, I convinced them to do something. I made people cry, and laugh. And I recently convinced a group people to lose weight using my suggestion... and they did follow me to the letter and now are way lighter than before!
 

MJ DeMarco

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Oh why in the whole world am I doing this anyway.

Because you are solving a problem and you are motivated to solve it, and motivated to provide value to your community. Again, if your finger is accidentally cut off and you have 1 hour to save it via reattachment, you're not going to say "Eh, why am bothering with this bucket of ice chilling my finger? And running to the hospital? Eh. I don't love being in a hurry and running to the hospital. I don't love blood, it makes me queasy. I'm just gonna lay back here and watch Game of Thrones."
 
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Mattie

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I believe people do what they are aware of in society. I believe they do what they have to do to survive. Most people don't do what they love. They don't start doing what they love to do until they've hit that point where things aren't working in life and seek out the answers to why they're not working financially. They see other people doing what they enjoy, but they don't know how much hard work is behind it, and really you go to the next level where it's all business. There's different realities I suppose where people want to be. I don't believe it's right or wrong. It's a personal preference.

For example, Since I've been in this forum I've learned there is people that outsource someone else to write their books for them, slap a cover on, and put their pen name on it and call it their own on Amazon. While others are creative and write and love the process of writing, learning, and growing as an author. There's a business angle to it either way. If you're the E.L. James or J.K. Rowling I suppose the creative aspect lands you being a millionaire.
 

Digamma

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And if you are not doing what you love, you'll think "Oh why in the whole world am I doing this anyway." and customers will not get their stuff and you'll just think how meaningless and pathetic what you're doing is - even if it brings in the money or has the potential to make you rich. So I don't think doing what you don't like for the benefit of the world is a good strategy either.

I think you miss the point. It's not about not doing things you love (like: "hey, there is a business opportunity here, but I love this niche in my free time, so I'll pass"). It's about not doing business on something just because you love it. You should have new solutions, value to provide.

There is an important shift in mindset. In a job, you might do it because "you love the thing", but nothing is enjoyable when you have to do it.
As an entrepreneur, what you do is provide something worth paying for, and *that* is the passion. The fact that you love the niche is incidental. You are not "working with it": the niche is the background, not the protagonist.

As an example: I hate programming as a freelancer, but love to write open source software and creating software products. Technically, I'm programming in both cases, but in fact in the first I'm slaving producing for someone else, in the second I'm using the skills I love to create valuable solutions to problems that interest me.
 

ilrein

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I totally hate freelancing too. Coding itself is quite interesting.
 
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Esquire

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Totally agree.

I went to Atlanta back in May to promote my site at a big party I would (normally) be attending as a social guest.

HATED IT.

Felt like a cheesy salesman. Everyone is there having fun ... and I'm pushing memberships.

Swore I would never market the site ... in person ... at one of these events again.

And that was exactly what I was thinking ... I am not going to let my business destroy my passion for something I love.

So going forward ... sure enough ... yeah ... I'll still mingle with some VIPs ... that's important.

But manning a booth and signing people up ...?

Cold day in hell.
 

Rawr

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Good post. Have to always careful combining what one likes with the necessity to do it for financial reason precisely because of this issue of wearing it out.
 

maxlane

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Because you are solving a problem and you are motivated to solve it, and motivated to provide value to your community. Again, if your finger is accidentally cut off and you have 1 hour to save it via reattachment, you're not going to say "Eh, why am bothering with this bucket of ice chilling my finger? And running to the hospital? Eh. I don't love being in a hurry and running to the hospital. I don't love blood, it makes me queasy. I'm just gonna lay back here and watch Game of Thrones."

But that would be an emergency. You can very well steal a car to get to the hospital or use some other clever technique to save the finger. I doubt one is ever motivated to solve a problem after problem for the rest of ones life only because it makes money. That would be a pretty dull way to live.
 
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Brentnal

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So from my understanding, you're passion or whatever you want to call it has got to produce something you love?
A passion that is about you and not the soceity will not last long. You're passion will last longer if it creates something that helps the soceity?
 

Developmental

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well, in the story above, I loved driving fast cars and I found a way to get paid to do it. If you took away the customer, I would have had just as much fun, if not more. It was purely selfish. The value of the product was the customer's enjoyment of the experience, I didn't honestly care that much about them enjoying themselves (despite that they always did enjoy it). All I cared about was getting paid to drive a Ferrari.

Now, if I loved teaching people to drive fast, or enjoyed the thrill the customers got out of my passenger rides then I would love the value I created - This is better, but still not fastlane

The fastlane version of this story would be to own the driving experience centre - Ok, a huge amount of capital expenditure, but a good little earner. With managers in place the centre ran itself and the owners were off racing their own cars never so much as visiting the site for months on end.

You see the owners loved cars as much as I did, but unlike me, they weren't foolish so they opened a business that allowed them to enjoy cars on their own terms. They were passionate about having the best site, the best instructors and the best cars - all so that the customers would have the best time possible. And this is what I mean about loving the value you create, they loved cars but instead of getting paid to drive them (like me) they provided the facilities and service to allow others to enjoy exotic cars too and met a very real market need.

There is nothing wrong with loving the industry you work in, but focus on the way to provide value to your customers and love the process of creating that value - don't get side-tracked by a selfish desire to find a way to get paid to do your hobbies.
 

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