How do I stop worrying & overthinking & stressing out (20yo)

[Peakdesire]

I'm 20 years old and I'm constantly worrying about the future, overthinking, and stressing out about everything. I think my stress hormones are probably through the roof because of this.

My head is full of questions and I have no answers and nobody to consult about these things. I'm a extremely motivated and ambitious, that's probably the main cause for my worries.

And the fear of ending up being Mediocre and one day at 30 realizing that I haven't done anything worthwhile with my life and being stuck In a slowlane job also raises my anxiety levels quite a bit.

I will list some questions that go through my head daily so that you realize why i'm worried and stressed out.

Where do I Find a mentor?
Should I drop out of school?
Am I only wasting my time at school?
Could I be doing something way better right now than sitting at school?
What should I do after I finish school? Continue education or not?
What business should I start?
What skills should I be learning now? marketing? finance? programming? trading? real-estate?
How could I use my days better, what better things could I do with my time?
Am I wasting my time? Am I spending my time on things that really help me to get to my goals?
Where do I find successful people to hang around with?
What should I be doing right now?
What direction should i go to?
How do I succeed in life?

Basically I'm afraid that I'm not doing enough every day to get to my goals ( own a business, live the fastlane lifestyle )

I feel like I'm stuck and i want to already start a business and put all my heart, soul and effort into something instead of sitting in school with a bunch of idiots learning about totally pointless stuff. I feel like if i continue my education I will only waste many years of my life that I could spend on something much more valuable like starting a business and learning.

I feel like I'm lost & not knowing which direction to go.

Advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

 

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[jockinbox]

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=local+therapist

Wrong section btw

 

[Guest24480]

"Basically I'm afraid that I'm not doing enough every day to get to my goals ( own a business, live the fastlane lifestyle )"

Then take action. You can balance school and working on a business if you're really as passionate about it as you claim. I'm doing it so you can.

 

[MoneyDoc]

"This forum cannot make life decisions for you."

 

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[Yankee427]

Well, as we say throughout this forum, we can't make huge life decisions for you such as should I continue or quit in school. Only you know that.

I would say the only reason to stay in school is if it is for a technical degree or you are getting some sort of degree for free such as a full ride or grant or scholarship money. If you are trying to get a psychology degree or history degree then it probably is not smart to stay.

Use all the resources at school to your advantage. Everyone is young and looking for money so if you try something online, you can most likely find a fellow student who is a great graphical design person for your website. Try to network with people who are ambitious like you and not just there to drink and party.

I have a Masters in Engineering and I am glad I went through with it. It wasn't cheap but a degree in Engineering is basically a degree in how to solve problems, which Entrepreneurs need to do all the time. I made some great friends that I am now starting to build businesses and help friends build their businesses.

I was lost for a bit in my mid 20's but was able to come back to reality. Your best bet is to read and then re-read The Millionaire Fastlane and eventually the items will click. Listen to podcasts of successful people and see what their take is on things. Try to find meetup groups with entrepreneurs around your age.

Also, only you know your true definition of success. For some people it is making enough money passively that you do not need a job. For others it might mean having the money for helping others. Then for some it may mean that they arent successful until they are millionaires.

 

[Peakdesire]

"This forum cannot make life decisions for you."

Ofcourse not.

I just want to get advice from older successful people who maybe had these same worries as a youngster.

 

[marklov]

I was once there man just plug your questions there , it might take a few day or weeks but you will find your answer and way

 

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[AubreyJ]

take action. As a 20 year old who used to feel the same way- I felt like I had so much to do in order to be where I wanted to be, I didn't know how to accomplish it all, and I had SO many questions. Once I started taking action, the tasks at hand didn't seem so daunting and I just took it one step at a time.

Think of daily, weekly, and monthly goals instead of looking at only the big picture goals, it will help you stay on track, and will help the task at hand to not feel so daunting- but most importantly take action, and figure some of it out on the way.

 

[Silverhawk851]

Something I completely understand, and no you don't need to go to a therapist.

This like my 7th recommendation I should be getting paid commission....Read the book PsychoCybernetics by Dr. Maxwell Maltz

It tells you how your mind is almost like a thermostat, meaning it judges positive and negative feedback. You set a certain goal through imagining it, (vision) and then you work daily and let your mind give you feedback.

Teaches you to plan long-term yes, but never think more than 24 hours behind or ahead from now.

Try it. Just think about what your going to do in the 24 hours ahead, and the 24 hours behind, and don't allow any thoughts of what your going to do beyond that creep in.

You need to remember, all the future is, is a series of moments. Series of Nows. No matter how much work you have, they all come to you one at a time, like an hour glass.
So focus on the one right now, then when the next one comes, focus on it then.

It's the only way.

Hope that helps, it's what solved my problem and gave me more progress and less stress than ever before

All the best


P.s it's a good sign that your going through that, I had a very similar start. If you want it bad enough to take daily action and big risks, you'll make it

 

[smarty]

Advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

This youtube channel is exactly for you: https://www.youtube.com/user/NoahElkrief/videos
Noah knows what he's talking about and breaks things in a way that you understand.

Helped me a lot

 

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[samuraijack]

Ofcourse not.

I just want to get advice from older successful people who maybe had these same worries as a youngster.

Read. Seriously, read a book a week. There is so much knowledge in good books that will help solidify your views on life. You gotta have a strong base to build on, and right now it looks like your standing on sand.

 

[Mike Kavanagh]

Where do I Find a mentor? Locally and in writing.
Should I drop out of school? No
Am I only wasting my time at school? No.
Could I be doing something way better right now than sitting at school? No.
What should I do after I finish school? Continue education or not? Are you making money?
What business should I start? If you don't know then how do we?
What skills should I be learning now? marketing? finance? programming? trading? real-estate? Everything. But only enough to get you by.
How could I use my days better, what better things could I do with my time?Finish High School. And Read books/Threads here
Am I wasting my time? Am I spending my time on things that really help me to get to my goals? Yes, by posting this you wasted not only your time but everyone else's. That's a big no no. People want to help people here that are already moving. These threads come out everyday.
Where do I find successful people to hang around with? What do you have to offer them? Why would they want to hang out with you?
What should I be doing right now? reading, we have a section for that.
What direction should i go to? East, Wait no, North.
How do I succeed in life? Very Carefully[/QUOTE]

Answered. Note that some are sarcastic and some are serious.

I reality, we don't know. We really don't freakin' know!

Read and learn.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Here ya go.. this looks hot-off-the-press.

https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/co...-all-the-im-young-what-do-i-do-threads.55191/

 

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[GuestUser113]

Is the fastlane forum being rick rolled? sheesh.

 

[Peakdesire]

Is the fastlane forum being rick rolled? sheesh.

Why?

 

[OzzieMan]

Hi peakdesire,

About your problems like "constantly worrying about the future, overthinking, and stressing"..

This seems to be a mindset kinda thing.

I encourage you to go visit mortylefkoe.com

I used to be like you.... worrying all the time, overthinking and stressing myself out, turning small mundane issue into life or death stuff, agonizing over every little thing...

And you know what, I read all those self-help books and courses but none of them helped. I dumped all those books.

The ONLY self-help dude whose teachings and methods REALLY helped me was Morty Lefkoe. Checkout his website. Read his over 200 blog posts. If you have $500 to spare, enroll in his "Occurring" course. That'll be the best life-enhancing investment you will ever make. I guarantee you that. This really is life changing stuff.

I keep on telling my friends about morty but no one seems to take me seriously on this.

But believe me, do check out morty lefkoe.... its life changing stuff.

All the best.

 

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[MorgothBauglir]

Decide that you're going to stop worrying, overthinking and stressing out.

Go through it rationally, and put everything into perspective. Consider the immensity of existence, and the tiny speck that is your ego. Are you as important as you think you are? Do you need to take yourself so seriously?

Stop thinking about the future, the past, other people, what you should have done, what you should be doing. This is simply wasting time and will not improve your situation.

Just think, 'What can I do now?' and start there. One thing at a time. The 'how' will work itself out.

 

[Peakdesire]

Decide that you're going to stop worrying, overthinking and stressing out.

Go through it rationally, and put everything into perspective. Consider the immensity of existence, and the tiny speck that is your ego. Are you as important as you think you are? Do you need to take yourself so seriously?

Stop thinking about the future, the past, other people, what you should have done, what you should be doing. This is simply wasting time and will not improve your situation.

Just think, 'What can I do now?' and start there. One thing at a time. The 'how' will work itself out.

Thanks, great answer.

 

[MorgothBauglir]

Thanks, great answer.

No problem man! I can only share the way I deal with it but I know exactly where you're at. My thoughts took me into some crazy places, filled with stress, insomnia and depression.
It's like night and day where I am now to where I was then. Gotta enjoy the ride.

The changes don't happen overnight, but life will NEVER be perfect. It's that constant struggle that makes it so interesting. You're on a crazy journey to making loads of money, going to epic places and meeting badass people. The past is the past and any future you can think of is simply a simulation that has no basis in reality.

Even if what you're doing now isn't what you will be doing later, every experience in your life is a chance to learn. It's not a straight path to success. It's treacherous terrain, and there are many routes.

If you're feeling lost, just go in any direction. You'll figure it out.

 

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[Franky Neizer]

@Peakdesire I wouldn't advice you to drop out of school even though school kills the natural creativity inside you, for now you need it and if you have a passion for a particular venture or an industry you should read books, articles and blogs on it. You should research successful people (dead/ alive) in that industry and learn their blue prints.
To be a successful entrepreneur you should always have fresh ideas and to be able to brainstorm ideas. I believe being on this forum will motivate you enough to do more and learn more.

 

[Peakdesire]

No problem man! I can only share the way I deal with it but I know exactly where you're at. My thoughts took me into some crazy places, filled with stress, insomnia and depression.
It's like night and day where I am now to where I was then. Gotta enjoy the ride.

The changes don't happen overnight, but life will NEVER be perfect. It's that constant struggle that makes it so interesting. You're on a crazy journey to making loads of money, going to epic places and meeting badass people. The past is the past and any future you can think of is simply a simulation that has no basis in reality.

Even if what you're doing now isn't what you will be doing later, every experience in your life is a chance to learn. It's not a straight path to success. It's treacherous terrain, and there are many routes.

If you're feeling lost, just go in any direction. You'll figure it out.

Appreciate you taking the time to answer my question.

One thing in particular that haunts me is that when I read/hear these stories of people who for example started learning about stocks at an early age at like 18 or something, and then became very successful at like 25. And other similar examples. This makes me think: why the hell am I not studying something like this right now. And it causes a lot of anxiety and I feel like I'm missing out something big by not starting something at an early age. Another thing is that I don't know what should I start to study already.

I don't want to miss out anything.

 

[Todd Malizia]

Being motivated is good. As mentioned earlier, keep your thinking rational so you don't get frazzled. What kind of business, or field, would you like to be in?

In your spare time, research the different options that are there. See what appeals to you. See where the opportunities lie. Then, try to connect with people and leaders who are in the field where you have an interest (there are plenty online). Learn about the skills you'll need to acquire to succeed and take it from there.

 

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[Peakdesire]

Being motivated is good. As mentioned earlier, keep your thinking rational so you don't get frazzled. What kind of business, or field, would you like to be in?

In your spare time, research the different options that are there. See what appeals to you. See where the opportunities lie. Then, try to connect with people and leaders who are in the field where you have an interest (there are plenty online). Learn about the skills you'll need to acquire to succeed and take it from there.

Well that's one of my problems.

There are so so many opportunities in the modern world that we live in, so many to choose from, that I have no idea in which direction I should head.

Almost anything I research seems interesting. Stocks, real estate, fitness industry, etc etc.. I can't make up my mind and choose one. Fear of choosing the wrong one and putting all my time & numerous years into something scares me. Maybe it's stupid to be scared and just pick something?

 

[Todd Malizia]

No, it's certainly not stupid to consider the risks when making a decision. There will always be some degree of risk. However, the goal is to minimize those risks as much as possible. In all of these areas that interest you, try to find out what makes successful people in these areas successful. Try to find out what they do on a day-to-day basis to see if you can visualize yourself doing something similar and be commited to it.

And, what about starting a career in the field where you're academic background is and then allocating free time toward building something for yourself?

 

[FionaS]

I tend to overthink and stress about things as well, especially when I was a couple years younger (23 now) and before I had kids. I'd say it's pretty common at our ages - you're just getting started in life, there are a million different directions you can go in, and it's easy to feel overwhelmed and paralyzed at the same time. I totally get your mindset, and it's something I've struggled with in the past. I have done several things to help me deal with it:

1. Add structure, specifically regarding business - I do this via The Miracle Morning (I wake up at 3:30, meditate, exercise, read, etc). After my morning routine, I immediately launch into my Most Important Task/The One Thing for the day. The One Thing is taken directly off of my daily goal list - I chose the most important thing to get done that day and do it first. I wake up early enough so I can do it before other responsibilities come into play. No thinking or researching - I just get it done and get over my action paralysis. (good resources: The Miracle Morning, The One Thing)

2. Get a good solid idea of where you want to be in 5, 10 years. What you want your lifestyle to be. Then, think about how you can make that lifestyle reality. This will give you something concrete to work towards. Make yearly, weekly and daily goals BASED off of your vision. Don't worry if your vision changes - just adjust, iterate, and move on. (The 12 Week Year and Vision to Reality were both good reads)

3. Take just one small step every day. It stops you from feeling overwhelmed and totally stressed out. Look at where you want to be, and then think - what is the next step I can take to get there? If that next step is overwhelming, break it down into even smaller steps. And be consistent about it. Take a step. And then another one. And another one. And before you know it, you'll have walked a mile. It adds up, and over time you'll take bigger and bigger steps. You just need to get started. (Good reads: The Slight Edge, The Compound Effect)

4. It's helpful to find some kind of accountability partner or mentor. If you read The Miracle Morning, his Facebook group is a good place to find partners to keep you accountable with a morning routine, and many of them are entrepreneurs. May be a good place to start if you don't have a professional network or know anyone that would be able to or willing to mentor you. If all else fails, people can mentor you through their actions - you don't even have to know them. Just watch what they do and how they do it, you can learn a lot.

If you've read The Millionaire Fastlane (if you haven't, do), I'd recommend usingthe Weighted Average Decision Matrix (WADM) and the Worse Case Consequence Analysis (WCCA) to help make decisions like what you listed in your initial post. These can be found on page 166 (of the older edition of the book, not sure about the newer one).

These steps have really turned my life around, maybe they'll do the same for you. I can't tell you that for sure, but it's worth a try.

 

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[Kingmaker]

Realize that only experiential knowledge matters. Conceptual knowledge is useless and will only drive you deeper into your head causing more anxiety.

Example: I figured I should learn programming. I watched videos, read books about it (conceptual knowledge). Seemed cool, at that point.

Decided to try it. Straight up coded for 100 hours (I kept track)(experiential knowledge). Hated it. Not my thing.


Tried that with many things I was interested in, until I found what worked for me. Pick something and don't F*cking read about it or study it, but DO it. If you end up not liking it, repeat with something else. Find YOUR path through experiencing different roads.

 

[SkuNK_]

I feel exactly the same as you except I'm a couple years older, so don't feel alone.

 

[rcdlopez]

 

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[Peakdesire]

I tend to overthink and stress about things as well, especially when I was a couple years younger (23 now) and before I had kids. I'd say it's pretty common at our ages - you're just getting started in life, there are a million different directions you can go in, and it's easy to feel overwhelmed and paralyzed at the same time. I totally get your mindset, and it's something I've struggled with in the past. I have done several things to help me deal with it:

1. Add structure, specifically regarding business - I do this via The Miracle Morning (I wake up at 3:30, meditate, exercise, read, etc). After my morning routine, I immediately launch into my Most Important Task/The One Thing for the day. The One Thing is taken directly off of my daily goal list - I chose the most important thing to get done that day and do it first. I wake up early enough so I can do it before other responsibilities come into play. No thinking or researching - I just get it done and get over my action paralysis. (good resources: The Miracle Morning, The One Thing)

2. Get a good solid idea of where you want to be in 5, 10 years. What you want your lifestyle to be. Then, think about how you can make that lifestyle reality. This will give you something concrete to work towards. Make yearly, weekly and daily goals BASED off of your vision. Don't worry if your vision changes - just adjust, iterate, and move on. (The 12 Week Year and Vision to Reality were both good reads)

3. Take just one small step every day. It stops you from feeling overwhelmed and totally stressed out. Look at where you want to be, and then think - what is the next step I can take to get there? If that next step is overwhelming, break it down into even smaller steps. And be consistent about it. Take a step. And then another one. And another one. And before you know it, you'll have walked a mile. It adds up, and over time you'll take bigger and bigger steps. You just need to get started. (Good reads: The Slight Edge, The Compound Effect)

4. It's helpful to find some kind of accountability partner or mentor. If you read The Miracle Morning, his Facebook group is a good place to find partners to keep you accountable with a morning routine, and many of them are entrepreneurs. May be a good place to start if you don't have a professional network or know anyone that would be able to or willing to mentor you. If all else fails, people can mentor you through their actions - you don't even have to know them. Just watch what they do and how they do it, you can learn a lot.

If you've read The Millionaire Fastlane (if you haven't, do), I'd recommend usingthe Weighted Average Decision Matrix (WADM) and the Worse Case Consequence Analysis (WCCA) to help make decisions like what you listed in your initial post. These can be found on page 166 (of the older edition of the book, not sure about the newer one).

These steps have really turned my life around, maybe they'll do the same for you. I can't tell you that for sure, but it's worth a try.

MASSIVE thanks to you Fiona. I think the points you listed will help a lot.

 

[Peakdesire]

No, it's certainly not stupid to consider the risks when making a decision. There will always be some degree of risk. However, the goal is to minimize those risks as much as possible. In all of these areas that interest you, try to find out what makes successful people in these areas successful. Try to find out what they do on a day-to-day basis to see if you can visualize yourself doing something similar and be commited to it.

And, what about starting a career in the field where you're academic background is and then allocating free time toward building something for yourself?

''In all of these areas that interest you, try to find out what makes successful people in these areas successful. Try to find out what they do on a day-to-day basis to see if you can visualize yourself doing something similar and be commited to it.''

Any ways of going about it? Books?