Need to get a few things off my chest. Thanks for reading.
Let me start by saying I've made leaps and bounds over where I used to be. To put things in perspective, it took me six years to graduate college because I would drop any and all classes that required a presentation in front of the class. In hindsight, I wish I would've dropped out.
Last December I finally quit a job that was making me miserable and became a freelance content marketer, thanks in part to some of the threads on these forums. Stoicism has also played a significant role in my development. Step 1 is done.
Step 2 is to double down on content writing so I can build my Fastlane. Still not sure what my Fastlane idea will be, but I'm sure if I keep freelancing and building my skills as a content writer, I'll get there.
That brings me to the title of my post. I have no friends. Part of that is because I cut ties with a lot of them that didn't align with my goals and values. But now I have literally no friends, and that's not an exaggeration. Some acquaintances and people I talk to, but no meaningful relationships outside of my wife and children. It's depressing. It's lonely. It makes me irritable and grumpy.
And it's all my fault. I realize that. I'm not here for a pity party. I need to change in order to make friends. But I'm paranoid. I think people are out to judge me, mock me, or take from me. And if they're kind to me, I feel like it's out of pity. I have little to no confidence in myself or my abilities, and it's weird, but I feel like a child in most situations. Like everyone is more advanced than me. I'm 32 years old.
And those things only happen when I actually go out and talk to people, which rarely happens anymore. I work remotely from home, so I NEVER have to go out and mingle with people. So I don't. I'm turning into a grumpy old hermit. Pretty soon I'll be yelling at kids telling them to get off my yard.
I realize this is dooming any chance of success I have. We need connections with other people to live happy and fulfilled lives, and at the very least, we need to be able to network with people, especially as entrepreneurs and freelancers. I can't get over this hurdle.
I've read self-help. I've seen the motivational mumbo jumbo. I know what the guru's say. I know what to do. I just can't seem to shake these feelings.
This post is probably better off as a private journal entry, but I'm posting this here because I've never been open like this about my struggles. It's kind of therapeutic I guess.
Anyone else with struggles similar to these? Have you overcome them? Still overcoming them? I'd love to chat.
Let me start by saying I've made leaps and bounds over where I used to be. To put things in perspective, it took me six years to graduate college because I would drop any and all classes that required a presentation in front of the class. In hindsight, I wish I would've dropped out.
Last December I finally quit a job that was making me miserable and became a freelance content marketer, thanks in part to some of the threads on these forums. Stoicism has also played a significant role in my development. Step 1 is done.
Step 2 is to double down on content writing so I can build my Fastlane. Still not sure what my Fastlane idea will be, but I'm sure if I keep freelancing and building my skills as a content writer, I'll get there.
That brings me to the title of my post. I have no friends. Part of that is because I cut ties with a lot of them that didn't align with my goals and values. But now I have literally no friends, and that's not an exaggeration. Some acquaintances and people I talk to, but no meaningful relationships outside of my wife and children. It's depressing. It's lonely. It makes me irritable and grumpy.
And it's all my fault. I realize that. I'm not here for a pity party. I need to change in order to make friends. But I'm paranoid. I think people are out to judge me, mock me, or take from me. And if they're kind to me, I feel like it's out of pity. I have little to no confidence in myself or my abilities, and it's weird, but I feel like a child in most situations. Like everyone is more advanced than me. I'm 32 years old.
And those things only happen when I actually go out and talk to people, which rarely happens anymore. I work remotely from home, so I NEVER have to go out and mingle with people. So I don't. I'm turning into a grumpy old hermit. Pretty soon I'll be yelling at kids telling them to get off my yard.
I realize this is dooming any chance of success I have. We need connections with other people to live happy and fulfilled lives, and at the very least, we need to be able to network with people, especially as entrepreneurs and freelancers. I can't get over this hurdle.
I've read self-help. I've seen the motivational mumbo jumbo. I know what the guru's say. I know what to do. I just can't seem to shake these feelings.
This post is probably better off as a private journal entry, but I'm posting this here because I've never been open like this about my struggles. It's kind of therapeutic I guess.
Anyone else with struggles similar to these? Have you overcome them? Still overcoming them? I'd love to chat.
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