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Paranoia and Social Anxieties Are Killing My Fastlane Dreams

Discussion in 'General Mindset, Motivation, Beliefs' started by AnAverageJoe, Apr 12, 2019.

  1. AnAverageJoe
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    AnAverageJoe remember that you will die Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Need to get a few things off my chest. Thanks for reading.

    Let me start by saying I've made leaps and bounds over where I used to be. To put things in perspective, it took me six years to graduate college because I would drop any and all classes that required a presentation in front of the class. In hindsight, I wish I would've dropped out.

    Last December I finally quit a job that was making me miserable and became a freelance content marketer, thanks in part to some of the threads on these forums. Stoicism has also played a significant role in my development. Step 1 is done.

    Step 2 is to double down on content writing so I can build my Fastlane. Still not sure what my Fastlane idea will be, but I'm sure if I keep freelancing and building my skills as a content writer, I'll get there.

    That brings me to the title of my post. I have no friends. Part of that is because I cut ties with a lot of them that didn't align with my goals and values. But now I have literally no friends, and that's not an exaggeration. Some acquaintances and people I talk to, but no meaningful relationships outside of my wife and children. It's depressing. It's lonely. It makes me irritable and grumpy.

    And it's all my fault. I realize that. I'm not here for a pity party. I need to change in order to make friends. But I'm paranoid. I think people are out to judge me, mock me, or take from me. And if they're kind to me, I feel like it's out of pity. I have little to no confidence in myself or my abilities, and it's weird, but I feel like a child in most situations. Like everyone is more advanced than me. I'm 32 years old.

    And those things only happen when I actually go out and talk to people, which rarely happens anymore. I work remotely from home, so I NEVER have to go out and mingle with people. So I don't. I'm turning into a grumpy old hermit. Pretty soon I'll be yelling at kids telling them to get off my yard.

    I realize this is dooming any chance of success I have. We need connections with other people to live happy and fulfilled lives, and at the very least, we need to be able to network with people, especially as entrepreneurs and freelancers. I can't get over this hurdle.

    I've read self-help. I've seen the motivational mumbo jumbo. I know what the guru's say. I know what to do. I just can't seem to shake these feelings.

    This post is probably better off as a private journal entry, but I'm posting this here because I've never been open like this about my struggles. It's kind of therapeutic I guess.

    Anyone else with struggles similar to these? Have you overcome them? Still overcoming them? I'd love to chat.
     
  2. Silverfox148
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    Silverfox148 Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane

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    Sounds like you are overthinking this, I wouldn't put any pressure on yourself on this issue. If you are going to ride in the Fastlane it will narrow your true friendships down, as you will value your time much more. Searching out fellow fastlaners is a start , also what hobbies do you have, that's another avenue.

    There is a lot of pressure put on by society about friendships and social this and social that, but in reality most relationships aren't actually that great or very deep, land in the hospital or in jail and see who comes around, the number won't be large.

    You can and go out be more social say hi to people engage others in small talk it will feel good. However, I will caution without rendering any judgement that most of those you meet will not be true deep friendship compatible if you are in the Fastlane. You will find some but the number won't be large, your best bet is to meet others via a hobby so you have a common goal.
     
  3. 404profound
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  4. Brian Suh
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    Get clear on your values and assume people are good but always have your guard up. Realize that you arent alone in this and that most people feel this way, they just hide it better then you. By putting effort in this area, you are already ahead of 95% of people (seriously) good luck bro.
     
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  5. GrandRub
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    GrandRub Contributor I've Read UNSCRIPTED

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    thats great! did you have any prior experience? how was your start?

    you write 3 easy lines... but that alone is a big big acomplishment!


    / i am 33 years old and i feel you. i do have some friends but all they do is work work in their slowlaner jobs. i feel like a hermit "jobwise" - because no one is understanding what i want to do and why i do it.

    maybe you could join some local meetups or join a sports group or so? (generic answers i know.. but maybe it helps)
     
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  6. Xeon
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    Xeon All Cars Kneel Before Pagani. Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    What you mentioned above, every single word, is literally ME. I suspect you're my clone.

    I have no friends either and I'm actually happier, less people to piss me off. My company also let some employees who stay too far from the office to work from home, and I'm one of the lucky ones.

    I don't have time to think about all these social issues now, everything is channeled onto my hustle which I'm going to launch soon, and onto my aging parents (coming from an Asian society). These are the only two issues which define my life right now.

    Do you have a girlfriend or anything? For me, when I see people, especially women, the first thing I think of is that, like what you say, they're trying to take away, or in my case, make use of me in anyway they can, and if people are kind to me, it's because they see me as a kid (to make it worse, I look 10+ years younger than my actual age).

    To me, "friends" is a societal construct, like marriage. When you see people laughing happily together, are they really? Perhaps not!

    Bill pats Joe on his back during their night out drinking beer laughing at jokes, but you didn't know that Bill is actually farkin Joe's wife behind his back. As they're talking, Bill couldn't focus on the conversation because he's thinking of the time when Joe's wife screamed at the top of her lungs during one session.

    Ashley and Lara goes to yoga classes together and go shopping every 3 days, but Lara talks and gossips behind Ashley with her other girl friends.....

    These are real life happenings. What we refer to as "friends" nowadays are more like "people who share similar interests as us". Will these "friends" give you their kidney or jump into the ocean to battle with the shark if you get chewed on by Jaws?

    Focus on yourself and your business, my clone.....it is a dog eat dog world out there. Don't buy into the whole idealized "friends" BS.

    "Friends"?

    LOL.

    MONEY and family are the only two things in life you can trust.
     
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2019
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  7. Stargazer
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    Stargazer Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    If you have any dance classes near you, see if your wife is open to the idea of having an evening off; just you and her, where you go and learn something, have some fun and meet other people too.

    Something like Salsa is excellent for this as it is normally taught in a very social way of changing partners every minute and being in the beginners class no one is judging you.

    The focus on learning something new takes your mind off of other things and you boost your social skills too.

    There may be other couples there you get to like and can invite for dinner.

    Their goals don't need to match yours to have friendship.

    I'm pretty sure Serena Williams will have some friends who are not planning on being Tennis Champions.

    Dan
     
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  8. AnAverageJoe
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    AnAverageJoe remember that you will die Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Thanks for all the feedback and advice guys, I really appreciate it. Good to see I'm not the only one who feels like this.

    95% of the time I am completely fine with my hermit ways. I left my job because it required me to be too social haha. And, I don't really expect to find any friends whos values align exactly with mine.

    I do have an amazing marriage with my wife, which helps tremendously.

    It's just that 5% of the time after a long day of writing and dealing with my two little guys it would be nice to get out and have some sort of release with someone I'm not married to. Just feels lonely when there's no one I can call up for even a superficial night out, y'know?

    Maybe it's time to get back into basketball. And the next time there's a meetup close to my area with some of you hooligans, I'm forcing myself to go.

    And the main thing I'm worried about is it affecting my ability to network and sell my services. I'm not sure how long you can survive in business if you can't (won't) network.

    Thanks again guys.
     
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  9. Ravens_Shadow
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    Saw you post in my Raleigh/Cary triangle meetup thread. I was checking meetup.com for entrepreneurial groups and meetups in your area and there was absolutely nothing that i could find.

    My advice would be to save some money, pack your bags, and get out of "dirty myrtle" as I would call it. Move to an area with a thriving entrepreneur community, and like minded folks. If you're looking to be somewhere that has changed lives, there's always Scottsdale, AZ and that's where a good portion of the heavy hitters on the forum are. Here in NC the're plenty of startup coworking spaces, investors, and everything else. Depends on how far you want to move, if you want to move.

    The best thing I ever did for myself was get out of my home town in Sumter, South Carolina.

    NOTABLE! - Stuck? Change Your Environment!
     
  10. AnAverageJoe
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    AnAverageJoe remember that you will die Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Sumter...nice to see a local haha. Glad you got out man. But yeah, there's nothing here. Myrtle Beach is...less than ideal. Unless you're a tourist or retired and love to golf, there's really nothing here for you.

    If you guys have another meetup in Raleigh, I'm going to do all I can to get there.

    We won't be here forever, though. As soon as some family issues are sorted, we're gone. I'd love to head west, maybe Texas or Arizona. Charlotte or Atlanta are also options if we decide we want to stay a little closer to family.

    We're just grinding it out in the redneck riviera for the time being until we can get out.
     
  11. Kak
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    Kak Capitalist Swine Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Unfortunately you turned what was a bit of public speaking anxiety into an overgrown monster of epic proportions...

    You have already realized a lower quality of life because of this irrational fear. It needs to be fixed.

    The only way to fix this is to face your fears and do this over and over and over. You're going to hate my suggestion, but it will make you a better person.

    I faced my big fears of public speaking in college and now am completely comfortable with it.

    Toastmasters International -Home sign up. As soon as possible.
     
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  12. AnAverageJoe
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    AnAverageJoe remember that you will die Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    You aren't the first to recommend Toastmasters. I guess I should check it out.
     
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    If it's what you already want to do, then make a plan, set a date, and stick to it. Don't just say as soon as issues are sorted, because more issues pop up and before you know it another 5 years have passed and you wonder why you're still in Myrtle Beach.

    2 years ago I told my wife we'd get out of Albuquerque, my original 1st move from Sumter, within the next month, guaranteed, and we settled on moving to Cary, NC due to the startup/tech scene here. My wife had absolutely zero belief in me that we'd make the move. I did everything I could to get us here which included getting a day job and I negotiated for them to pay for our move because we were broke and couldn't afford it. My credit card was already maxed out.

    You can do absolutely anything that you want in life, and there's nothing stopping you but fear.

    Also @Kak suggestion for toastmasters is a good one to help fix the main issue you're having with social anxiety.
     
  14. Dameron
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  15. Dameron
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    For all of you who have posted on this thread... this was my way of dealing with the problem:

    Reading - "Quiet" by Susan Cain & "The Introvert's Way" by Sophia Dembling

    Made it MUCH easier on me, once I understood who I was and how to work around it in everyday life.

    Reading them also helped with choosing quality new friends and even added the somewhat limited social life (that is comfortable to me) that I now have...
     
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  16. GrandRub
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    [QUOTE="Xeon, post: 772818, member: 50816"
    MONEY and family are the only two things in life you can trust.[/QUOTE]

    that is very pessimistic. i trust my friends way more than my family. some of them i know my whole life.
    sure there are people who are "friends" loose friends or colleagues.
    but real friendship is real and no construct.
     
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  17. Kruiser
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    You don't actually need to shake the feelings. You can act in spite of the feelings. And I'm not trying to say "just do it" or "tough it out."

    I've benefitted recently by reading Russ Harris's The Confidence Gap. He is somewhat critical of many self-help recommendations, noting that for many people the recommendations simply don't work, at least not all the time. He explains how we need to separate ourselves from our own negative thoughts and feelings. Acknowledge those thoughts and feelings, but don't let them stop you from working toward your goals or taking the actions you need to take. He notes that we often simply cannot control our minds and the negative thoughts are simply going to come because that is how our brains evolved.

    One of his main ideas is that we often think we need to feel confident before we can act confidently but that this is completely backwards because the feelings of confidence follow the actions of confidence.

    I do generally try to follow the advice of Tony Robbins to maintain a positive emotional state and have a feeling of certainty. I visualize, say affirmations, etc. When these things work and I have a positive emotional state and sense of certainty, it is definitely easier to act and this is by far my preferred situation.

    But when I'm unable to control my negative thoughts and feelings, I am no longer worried. I can still take the actions I need to take despite the negative thoughts and feelings.

    So, you can still go to networking events, put on a smile and act cheerful and confident despite thinking and feeling that no one wants to talk to you, it is a waste of time, etc. Someone mentioned the Quiet book above. I think the author of that book explained that it is entirely possible to act and appear confident despite having all kinds of negative feelings and self-doubt and that other people generally will not be able to tell that you have a negative internal state.
     
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  18. AnAverageJoe
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    AnAverageJoe remember that you will die Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Thanks for the recommendations.

    Thanks for the book recommendation. I've already applied some of the same principals to my life to get as far as I have. I journal, meditate, practice gratitude, do affirmations, and study stoicism. That has made a world of difference.

    And I've used the "fake it 'till you make it" idea pretty well so far. I guess I just need to double down. Thanks again.
     
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    Friends are over rated. Like you, I have none. At least none of the classic, go hang out with type. I have friends from my Navy days due to shared hardships and experiences, but none that I meet up with. My wife is my best friend and, for me, that's plenty.

    I agree with the recommendations to join Toastmasters. Great organization and you may even make some friends.
     
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  20. ideasunlimited1
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    Just want to say that I am really proud of you for being motivated and working hard while handling social anxieties. That's a big thing to navigate. I'm also 32 like you, with a husband and kid. I'm also naturally an introvert, and the older I get, the less social I become. I have one really good best friend who I see every few months (long distance) and basically hang out with only family, and I'm happy as a clam. Ask yourself this: are you content? Being content is worth 500 new friends. People spend their lives chasing contentment, don't give it up for popularity. Don't invest in relationships just because you FEEL like that is what you should have that or want to have that.

    If you really do want friendships/relationships, maybe start with a few local business meetups to find at least like minded acquaintances and expand from there. Even networking is great practice for those communication talents and can minimize that fear. Do you do trade shows ever?
     
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  21. AnAverageJoe
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    I am content for the most part. I don't really want a lot of friends. It's just those few days here and there where it would be nice to get an outside opinion on things. And it hampers my ability to sell myself and my services.

    I've never done trade shows...I wouldn't even know where to start.
     
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    What's going on brotha! From reading your post, I can say that the very fact that you are AWARE of your situation and the way that you're perceiving it is your biggest advantage in overcoming and growing.

    As @404profound shared, this really IS something that entrepreneurs deal with more than you may think. There is a reason that the "desert of desolation" is a common experience and referenced in the FL book. However this "desert" doesn't have to be a bad thing. Often times it means that you're exactly on the path you need to be. You can use the understanding of it as leverage.

    Understand this. There is a REASON you are on this forum. You have a particular path that is unique to you and only you. That's a wonderful thing.

    It is important for entrepreneurs to have a solid mindset and framework. Without that, none of the details of business building matter. Quick story - 6 months ago my younger brother took his life. This isn’t a new story and he isn’t unique to it. You can see this in the passing of people like Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade in 2018.

    While I cannot speak on particulars about Anthony and Kate’s situation, I can give you my perspective on my brothers situation. You see, he was an incredibly intelligent person. He was also an entrepreneur. He had an ability to think in ways that were an order of magnitude beyond what I see in most people, including myself. For context and without getting too deep in details (I will cover concepts of entrepreneurship, depression and mental illness in future posts), his business was in the medical field. At age 19, he was locking in million dollar investments (which I sat in on at the meetings), was traveling to different countries purchasing plots of land for the facilities, and shaking hands with politicians to make it happen. So where did it go south?

    To be (VERY) brief, his ideas outpaced his actions and output. While he had the intelligence and uncanny ability to create mental models of the world that allowed him to do these things and pursue them viciously… a very important part was missing. What was missing? Well, I’d say that it was the SOCIAL aspect of entrepreneurship. He was a "behind the scenes" kind of guy and was not interested in small talk. He would rather stay inside and map out strategies and operations. The business he was in itself didn't require "socializing" in the same way that a regular consumer product company would require - ie. mingling at events, etc.

    This is a hugely important part, even if it is for your own sanity. I would put it in the same category as exercise. While you may not think you need it, it’s part of being a human.

    As someone who is naturally introverted myself, believe me when I say I know what it’s like to be in my own mind. Often times as entrepreneurs we may even prefer this and enjoy it. That is, toying with the ideas and concepts that others may not understand.

    Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Like I said, understand that something led you here (both to this forum and the path that you’re on). And in TIME, you will gain the confidence and achievements that you seek. The most important thing you can do is realize the possibilities that each new day brings and that we put forth a genuine effort and energy of discovery and curiosity into our work and ourselves.

    Also, respect to you for putting these things out there.
     
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2019
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  23. AnAverageJoe
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    AnAverageJoe remember that you will die Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    So sorry to hear about your brother, but thank you for sharing his story and your kind words.
     
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    Yea man! Hopefully it made sense haha. And thank you for the condolences. I'm a big believer in that everyone has a particular purpose and things happening for a reason. It's the wild west out here but it should be fun while we do it. Even this forum in itself - I find it so badass that we have a place to come to discuss these things.
     
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  25. ideasunlimited1
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    I recommend Googling a few, and signing up as a vendor if you have enough promotional material or products. If you are lacking, just going there as a visitor with some business cards to network and meet new industry faces can do wonders.
     
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