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My mindset is suffering

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BellaPippin

BellaPippin

B is for Beast
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<div class="bbWrapper">Let me start by saying I’m not proud of this post. I always tell myself I don’t want to post a new thread until I have something of value to share. On the other hand, this journey is a very lonely one and I treasure the moments when I can get a bit of chit chat with you guys and a bit of support. So here I am. <br /> <br /> Okay like the title says. My mindset is suffering. Ever since the start of the year when I got kind of stuck with my book sales it hit me harder. I’m not sure how to say it but in a way I got to new levels of action I’d never been to and that’s good. On the other hand I found some new, bad resistance. Some beliefs just appeared in my mind and they’re festering there: <br /> <br /> I don’t feel I have what it takes. I adopted the mindset of a producer, and I try to use that filter when approaching ideas. Immediately I encounter questions, mostly operational related, and get blocked. My mind suddenly realizes I’m in charge of figuring out an item’s supply chain, marketing, LLC formation, accounting, and goes into meltdown mode, having no idea where to start and more importantly not believing I’m capable of managing such thing.<br /> <br /> I went from thinking “if other people do this I should be able too” to “other people can do this, but I can’t”. Why? Idk. It just seems like that these days. I’m torn between telling myself I’m being realist and telling myself that I’m just using the wrong set of beliefs for some reason, but I have that little voice telling me “not everyone can do it and that’s okay” and I want it to shut up. <br /> <br /> I’ve been exploring several avenues that ultimately just feel like money chasing because while I know im not supposed to reinvent the wheel I can’t find a place where I can add value. <br /> <br /> That makes me sad. <br /> <br /> I could handle the desert if I had something I believed in but currently I don’t think I have a productocracy in my hands, of any kind. I look around me and I’ve been finding solutions have been made for all of what I look into, and they’re made well. I feel I’m scrambling to find the value add and as such the ideas are not worthy.<br /> <br /> I guess I should just give it up for now? Give it more time? Is this like dating, when you stop looking for it it comes to you or something lame like that? Because as it is it consumes my everyday thought yet I’m not getting anywhere. <br /> <br /> It sucks knowing what your purpose is and sucking a$$ at it. It’s like wanting to be a doctor to help people and you keep failing all your exams. Do you really want it?! You must not want it that bad huh. Or maybe you do want it but you’ve dyslexia and you’re having the time of your life everytime you study. <br /> <br /> To top it off and because I’m supposed to compare myself to better people, all I see is success I don’t yet have. The carrot dangles everywhere and I’m hungry. Do I not have what it takes? If that’s the case I’m pretty effed cause it’s not like I have a 401k I started in my 20s so... I better get what it takes if I don’t have it. <br /> <br /> Aight I think I’m done. I love you guys, never change.</div>
 
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<div class="bbWrapper">I don’t know you… from afar, it seems you may be overthinking it.<br /> <br /> Back up a little. If you need money, get a job, freelance, sell your possessions, do whatever it takes to make a living and have basics covered. With that out of the way…<br /> <br /> Sounds like you are a writer… and your book isn’t selling well. I assume that only means one thing: <b>writing these days, doesn’t pay! Is it a surprise? </b>Hopefully it isn’t. Internet happened. Digital world happened.<br /> <br /> With low sales your mind is turning to “where else can I add value?”. This is an impossibly hard question to answer in isolation. If you aren’t <b>mixing with a big crowd and know what the crowd needs help with... </b>(Now substitute crowd with market and you get my point). Not only that, but you’d need to be excellent at something to add value.<br /> <br /> Same goes for being useful. Most of us will find it very hard to describe exactly what we are excellent at and how we are useful.<br /> <br /> Closest I come to finding out what I do well is when I hear people say “wow, that was a very good move - how did you think about it?” and in my mind I think “geez it was the only move, pretty obvious… everyone would have seen it”. It comes easy to me, hard to others. Boom - that’s my thing. <b>Did that ever happen to you? What was it? </b><br /> <br /> Back to overthinking… you’ve been on this forum for a while so now the lingo is setting in too - “money chasing”. We all do it when we get distracted. That’s why I say to first cover your needs.<br /> <br /> That’s also why I like jobs. I know it’s an unpopular opinion here, but if you have the right entrepreneur mindset, go into a job and mine it for everything it’s got. Skills, people, systems, networking, testing etc. Of course you could get sucked into it… yet what are the chances of that? Knowing what you know? Seems low to me.<br /> <br /> … And side-hustle after side-hustle keep testing what works.<br /> <br /> <b>Side hustle what? </b><br /> <br /> It could be as simple as trying to re-sell things on Craigslist or as complicated as pretending to want to buy a business! By joining broker lists and mining for a company gem. Only to later replicate it. Seeing what’s for sale, how it works, how it is valued etc. You may start seeing patterns… or not. That’s life.<br /> <br /> Once you happen to start having success in business, your mindset won’t suffer. Action is what quiets that voice! Go get after action. There is no wrong way, especially when your mindset is spinning. <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Since I am not sure if this helps... I end with this, remember: this too shall pass. How you are feeling is normal, and only you know if its time to buckle down or pivot.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper">Hey Bella, <br /> <br /> Did you want to have a chat? Feel free to private message me. I don&#039;t mind lending an ear.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1080293" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080293" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080293">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> I don’t feel I have what it takes. I adopted the mindset of a producer, and I try to use that filter when approaching ideas. Immediately I encounter questions, mostly operational related, and get blocked. My mind suddenly realizes I’m in charge of figuring out an item’s supply chain, marketing, LLC formation, accounting, and goes into meltdown mode, having no idea where to start and more importantly not believing I’m capable of managing such thing. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>When I started my business I had a couple of failures under my belt and I came to the conclusion that I was completely incompetent at marketing, sales, supply chain, accounting, etc but I was unstoppable when it came to anything technical. Out of all the variables in business I was amazing at one and terrible at the rest. <br /> <br /> In statistics, there&#039;s a concept of holding all other variables at their average and then focusing on one variable to understand it, so that&#039;s what I did. I could outcompete on the engineering side but not on anything else, so I just copied my best competitor at everything except engineering. As an entrepreneur, you need to be mindful of conserving your time, focus, and stress. So if it wasn&#039;t something I could do well, I just copied, and then competed on the stuff I could do well. It&#039;s impossible for a single person with 24hrs a day to effectively do all aspects of a business, so until you can hire your weaknesses, play to your strengths.<br /> <br /> So what are you good at? Use that to win, and everything else, what does your competition do? Are you not good at supply chain? No worries. What does succesful competitor X do? They spent the money figuring out how to do it, be rude not to learn from them.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper">It seems like you need to take a step back and think about what it is you want and where you want to go. <br /> <br /> It sounds like your brain is in survival mode, and you’re panicking. It’s very hard to think clearly when you’re stressed out. <br /> <br /> Put the phone and laptop away, And go outside. Go for a walk, or go sit on the patio and think. When you can think about your problems without technology distracting you, that’s when your brain starts to work things out and you find answers. Strange enough, the harder you try to look for answers on social media or the forum, the less clarity and more confusion you’ll have.<br /> <br /> I think the answers are already within you, you just need to let your brain do its thing and figure them out.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1080293" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080293" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080293">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Let me start by saying I’m not proud of this post. I always tell myself I don’t want to post a new thread until I have something of value to share. On the other hand, this journey is a very lonely one and I treasure the moments when I can get a bit of chit chat with you guys and a bit of support. So here I am.<br /> <br /> Okay like the title says. My mindset is suffering. Ever since the start of the year when I got kind of stuck with my book sales it hit me harder. I’m not sure how to say it but in a way I got to new levels of action I’d never been to and that’s good. On the other hand I found some new, bad resistance. Some beliefs just appeared in my mind and they’re festering there: </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/members/55234/" class="username" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" data-user-id="55234" data-username="@Antifragile">@Antifragile</a> has a very well thought out response up above and I agree on everything he says almost to a T.<br /> <br /> Do you have a job? Consistent form of money coming in? Sure at some point you can start worrying and building up a fastlane business -- but it can take years to make something of it, or to find a way, a product or a marketing system that works.<br /> <br /> What are you currently selling? Why is that not working?<br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1080293" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080293" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080293">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> I don’t feel I have what it takes. I adopted the mindset of a producer, and I try to use that filter when approaching ideas. Immediately I encounter questions, mostly operational related, and get blocked. My mind suddenly realizes I’m in charge of figuring out an item’s supply chain, marketing, LLC formation, accounting, and goes into meltdown mode, having no idea where to start and more importantly not believing I’m capable of managing such thing. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>You gotta slow down a bit here. <br /> <br /> All these come in bits and pieces. It took <a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/members/105183/" class="username" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" data-user-id="105183" data-username="@NeoDialectic">@NeoDialectic</a> and I 15 solid YEARS from poking around the web doing internet marketing, to reselling some products, forming various LLCs, building them up, working on marketing, finding someone to do accounting ETC...to eventually figuring out how to get our company ready to sale, work through negotiations etc. Remember ... 15 YEARS!! And that&#039;s of nearly full-time commitment.<br /> <br /> Longer if you add on another 10+ years of me reselling all kinds of stuff on eBay prior, falling for hype MLM companies, getting a few degrees (had to land my first real paycheck somehow), working a 9-5 for years, working my way through door to door CUTCO sales and many many other lessons and hard fought convictions earned through many years.<br /> <br /> It&#039;s a long road, and there are no shortcuts!<br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1080293" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080293" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080293">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> I went from thinking “if other people do this I should be able too” to “other people can do this, but I can’t”. Why? Idk. It just seems like that these days. I’m torn between telling myself I’m being realist and telling myself that I’m just using the wrong set of beliefs for some reason, but I have that little voice telling me “not everyone can do it and that’s okay” and I want it to shut up. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>You need to work on small wins. No matter what those are. They don&#039;t have to even be financially driven, just wins. Prove to yourself that you can set out to do something then do it. Make a task list of 5 items to accomplish. Do those - cross them off. Make another 5.<br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1080293" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080293" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080293">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> I’ve been exploring several avenues that ultimately just feel like money chasing because while I know im not supposed to reinvent the wheel I can’t find a place where I can add value. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Take a step back here as well. As cliche and important it is on this forum to have some &#039;monumental&#039; value adds, sometimes you can&#039;t be the judge even of what it is that adds value. Sometimes producing the same product but instead of using a black bottle you use a &#039;gold&#039; one, tailor it to a specific demographic, and name it &#039;Golds&#039; Elixir&#039; --- that can be a VALUE add to many people because of how that bottle looks on their countertop and it resonates with that particular group (this is a very basic example). You have to act - try - fail - repeat.<br /> <br /> All we learned from years and years of business is we are personally terrible judges of what a &#039;value add&#039; can look like. The market will decide that for you. And the faster you iterate through various versions of products / sales the faster you will realize what is an actual value add.<br /> <br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1080293" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080293" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080293">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> That makes me sad.<br /> <br /> I could handle the desert if I had something I believed in but currently I don’t think I have a productocracy in my hands, of any kind. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>It&#039;s OK if you don&#039;t start off with a productocracy. It might or might not build up with time. Sometimes what&#039;s important is even asking if that product is capable of becoming one down the road..<br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1080293" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080293" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080293">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> I look around me and I’ve been finding solutions have been made for all of what I look into, and they’re made well. I feel I’m scrambling to find the value add and as such the ideas are not worthy. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Value add can come in SO many forms. Sometimes you can&#039;t think of it in traditional sense either. It can go beyond just the usual ones that we think of ... saving someone time, money, making them more desirable, giving them smoother skin, etc.<br /> <br /> And again what&#039;s most important to iterate is what brings value to you is not the same as what brings value to others (especially on the big, open market). You need to be able to test ideas, concepts and products quickly to find what works.<br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1080293" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080293" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080293">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> I guess I should just give it up for now? Give it more time? Is this like dating, when you stop looking for it it comes to you or something lame like that? Because as it is it consumes my everyday thought yet I’m not getting anywhere. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Make a plan, and work that plan. What are you currently working on ?<br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1080293" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080293" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080293">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> It sucks knowing what your purpose is and sucking a$$ at it. It’s like wanting to be a doctor to help people and you keep failing all your exams. Do you really want it?! You must not want it that bad huh. Or maybe you do want it but you’ve dyslexia and you’re having the time of your life everytime you study. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>It&#039;s not an easy go at it for everyone, every time. It takes patience, dedication, grit, perseverance ... all of it. Over and over again, for many years! You HAVE to enjoy and endure the ride at every step, or else ... what&#039;s the point?<br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1080293" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080293" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080293">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> To top it off and because I’m supposed to compare myself to better people, all I see is success I don’t yet have. The carrot dangles everywhere and I’m hungry. Do I not have what it takes? If that’s the case I’m pretty effed cause it’s not like I have a 401k I started in my 20s so... I better get what it takes if I don’t have it. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Turn off social media for a while. You need to distance yourself from fake highlight reels of worlds that many times are a distant facade of what truly is going on.<br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1080293" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080293" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080293">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Aight I think I’m done. I love you guys, never change. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Keep asking questions, taking action, and most importantly? Figure out how to get to a sale...then 5 and then 10 and beyond.</div>
 
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<div class="bbWrapper">Take my idea <a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/threads/post-all-of-your-ideas-and-random-problems-you%E2%80%99ll-never-execute-on.103068/page-10#post-1080115" class="link link--internal">here</a> and run with that.<br /> <br /> Then start a TikTok account and base it on this girl&#039;s: <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@confidencewithkatelynn?_t=8ebcBicE6iH&amp;_r=1" target="_blank" class="link link--external" rel="noopener">https://www.tiktok.com/@confidencewithkatelynn?_t=8ebcBicE6iH&amp;_r=1</a><br /> <br /> <div class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--unfurl js-unfurl fauxBlockLink" data-unfurl="true" data-result-id="400920" data-url="https://agoodassday.com" data-host="agoodassday.com" data-pending="false"> <div class="contentRow"> <div class="contentRow-figure contentRow-figure--fixedSmall js-unfurl-figure"> <img src="/community/proxy.php?image=http%3A%2F%2Fagoodassday.com%2Fcdn%2Fshop%2Ffiles%2F9Q6A3497_cf25653e-6502-4a07-81f5-e1e00bea2ff0.jpg%3Fv%3D1741807558&amp;hash=c1ce6a8548132802ee48c06dde469ea2&amp;return_error=1" loading="lazy" alt="agoodassday.com" class="bbCodeBlockUnfurl-image" data-onerror="hide-parent"/> </div> <div class="contentRow-main"> <h3 class="contentRow-header js-unfurl-title"> <a href="https://agoodassday.com" class="link link--external fauxBlockLink-blockLink" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-proxy-href=""> A Good Ass Day </a> </h3> <div class="contentRow-snippet js-unfurl-desc">A Good a$$ Day offers a range of hair care products, particularly their signature dry shampoo, known for its ability to extend hairstyles for multiple days.</div> <div class="contentRow-minor contentRow-minor--hideLinks"> <span class="js-unfurl-favicon"> <img src="/community/proxy.php?image=https%3A%2F%2Fagoodassday.com%2Fcdn%2Fshop%2Ffiles%2FGAHD_Logo_FInal.png%3Fcrop%3Dcenter%26height%3D32%26v%3D1703791264%26width%3D32&amp;hash=fe58de71dbefa22d3c9daf0ca7f0ae53&amp;return_error=1" loading="lazy" alt="agoodassday.com" class="bbCodeBlockUnfurl-icon" data-onerror="hide-parent"/> </span> agoodassday.com </div> </div> </div> </div> <br /> It will offer you a higher chance of success than your book and the startup capital should be less than $150. TikTok will give you the views and engagement.<br /> <br /> You don&#039;t need any website, just host it for 20 cents on Etsy: <a href="https://www.etsy.com/search?q=dry%20shampoo" target="_blank" class="link link--external" rel="noopener">Dry shampoo - Etsy</a><br /> <br /> That&#039;s only (20 cents / 4 months) = 5 cents a month, and direct all the traffic from TikTok there.</div>
 
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<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1080293" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080293" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080293">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Let me start by saying I’m not proud of this post. I always tell myself I don’t want to post a new thread until I have something of value to share. On the other hand, this journey is a very lonely one and I treasure the moments when I can get a bit of chit chat with you guys and a bit of support. So here I am.<br /> <br /> Okay like the title says. My mindset is suffering. Ever since the start of the year when I got kind of stuck with my book sales it hit me harder. I’m not sure how to say it but in a way I got to new levels of action I’d never been to and that’s good. On the other hand I found some new, bad resistance. Some beliefs just appeared in my mind and they’re festering there:<br /> <br /> I don’t feel I have what it takes. I adopted the mindset of a producer, and I try to use that filter when approaching ideas. Immediately I encounter questions, mostly operational related, and get blocked. My mind suddenly realizes I’m in charge of figuring out an item’s supply chain, marketing, LLC formation, accounting, and goes into meltdown mode, having no idea where to start and more importantly not believing I’m capable of managing such thing.<br /> <br /> I went from thinking “if other people do this I should be able too” to “other people can do this, but I can’t”. Why? Idk. It just seems like that these days. I’m torn between telling myself I’m being realist and telling myself that I’m just using the wrong set of beliefs for some reason, but I have that little voice telling me “not everyone can do it and that’s okay” and I want it to shut up.<br /> <br /> I’ve been exploring several avenues that ultimately just feel like money chasing because while I know im not supposed to reinvent the wheel I can’t find a place where I can add value.<br /> <br /> That makes me sad.<br /> <br /> I could handle the desert if I had something I believed in but currently I don’t think I have a productocracy in my hands, of any kind. I look around me and I’ve been finding solutions have been made for all of what I look into, and they’re made well. I feel I’m scrambling to find the value add and as such the ideas are not worthy.<br /> <br /> I guess I should just give it up for now? Give it more time? Is this like dating, when you stop looking for it it comes to you or something lame like that? Because as it is it consumes my everyday thought yet I’m not getting anywhere.<br /> <br /> It sucks knowing what your purpose is and sucking a$$ at it. It’s like wanting to be a doctor to help people and you keep failing all your exams. Do you really want it?! You must not want it that bad huh. Or maybe you do want it but you’ve dyslexia and you’re having the time of your life everytime you study.<br /> <br /> To top it off and because I’m supposed to compare myself to better people, all I see is success I don’t yet have. The carrot dangles everywhere and I’m hungry. Do I not have what it takes? If that’s the case I’m pretty effed cause it’s not like I have a 401k I started in my 20s so... I better get what it takes if I don’t have it.<br /> <br /> Aight I think I’m done. I love you guys, never change. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Writing book just a very slow way to accumulate sales and revenue and most successful author have taken many years and make a living from many books, not one.<br /> <br /> Not something suitable for you if you need to hustle to get bills paid at the moment.<br /> <br /> My mindset is based on a “fact” that any form of success, especially so success in business is very hard. Social media might portrays otherwise but numbers don’t lie. The more rare it is the harder it is. People who are in good physical shape or form maybe 5 percent of the population. First generation self-made millionaire in less than 10 years maybe less than 0.05 percent of the pollution.<br /> <br /> Recognizing that it is hard is not to succumb to the defeatist attitude that “since it is hard then don’t try”. <br /> <br /> It is more of getting suited to the roadblocks and hardness that come along the way, and not having any unecessary shame or guilt for not getting things to move in the direction you want.<br /> <br /> We are like an alchemist trying to create an explosion. The odds are against us in one way but also the odds are for us in another way, that is we only need to succeed once.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper">Bella, weird question but have you ever considered getting into plumbing? I think you&#039;d actually love having a trade. By the time you were confident say, in 1-3 yrs, you&#039;d be able to implement everything you&#039;ve learned from TFF.<br /> <br /> Check this guy out, he&#039;s sweet.<br /> <div class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--unfurl js-unfurl fauxBlockLink" data-unfurl="true" data-result-id="400922" data-url="https://open.substack.com/pub/thebluescholar/p/a-practical-guide-to-entering-the?r=17osx8&amp;utm_medium=ios&amp;utm_campaign=post" data-host="open.substack.com" data-pending="false"> <div class="contentRow"> <div class="contentRow-figure contentRow-figure--fixedSmall js-unfurl-figure"> <img src="/community/proxy.php?image=https%3A%2F%2Fimages.unsplash.com%2Fphoto-1504328345606-18bbc8c9d7d1%3Fixlib%3Drb-4.0.3%26ixid%3DM3wxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8fA%253D%253D%26auto%3Dformat%26fit%3Dcrop%26w%3D1000%26q%3D80&amp;hash=b3fe3268df2a72f3c602ed9bb9665565&amp;return_error=1" loading="lazy" alt="open.substack.com" class="bbCodeBlockUnfurl-image" data-onerror="hide-parent"/> </div> <div class="contentRow-main"> <h3 class="contentRow-header js-unfurl-title"> <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/thebluescholar/p/a-practical-guide-to-entering-the?r=17osx8&amp;utm_medium=ios&amp;utm_campaign=post" class="link link--external fauxBlockLink-blockLink" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-proxy-href=""> A Practical Guide to Entering the Trades </a> </h3> <div class="contentRow-snippet js-unfurl-desc">An FAQ for those wanting to consider blue collar work but are unsure where to start!</div> <div class="contentRow-minor contentRow-minor--hideLinks"> <span class="js-unfurl-favicon"> <img src="/community/proxy.php?image=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_%21nRsO%21%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252F21c27091-0b80-4c02-9afe-8d067770aa91%252Ffavicon-16x16.png&amp;hash=91fab088f3700a1a0dc1615bb3987d07&amp;return_error=1" loading="lazy" alt="open.substack.com" class="bbCodeBlockUnfurl-icon" data-onerror="hide-parent"/> </span> open.substack.com </div> </div> </div> </div></div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper">Double down on your Stoic training and keep your head up, you got this Bella. Not sure your connection to Chicago but this is my homeland and while a disaster people from Chitown got special grit, lean into it. I have no idea what your book is about but would love to check it out, can you link it.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper">A lot of people have said the same thing..<br /> <br /> You should take a step back, just evaluate your situation.<br /> <br /> Think of how far you’ve come, you’ve accomplished what 99% of people can’t do.<br /> <br /> You’ve done something, but now your focusing 20 steps ahead.<br /> <br /> Take a minute, rest on your bed, Just think of what you’ve done.</div>
 
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<div class="bbWrapper">Thank you so much everyone for the support. A lot of the things resonated with me:<br /> <br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 55234" data-quote="Antifragile" data-source="post: 1080294" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080294" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080294">Antifragile said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> This is an impossibly hard question to answer in isolation. If you aren’t <b>mixing with a big crowd and know what the crowd needs help with... </b>(Now substitute crowd with market and you get my point). Not only that, but you’d need to be excellent at something to add value. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> This is something I need to work on. I’m not working at the moment. My bills are paid because I’m taking care of the household, but I was not ready/didn’t account for how much that would isolate me. Nowadays I find it hard to relate to any group of people and it feels like I’m almost guessing what people’s problems are, this takes me to your next comment:<br /> <br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 55234" data-quote="Antifragile" data-source="post: 1080294" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080294" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080294">Antifragile said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Same goes for being useful. Most of us will find it very hard to describe exactly what we are excellent at and how we are useful. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> I’ve always find it hard to say what I’m good at. In the last few months I even went ahead and took some of those strengths assignments to try to help me with this task, and even then I didn’t end up with much clarity. I feel this prevents me from finding a way to stand out from others whenever I’m trying to sell myself, or even something I made.<br /> <br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 55234" data-quote="Antifragile" data-source="post: 1080294" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080294" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080294">Antifragile said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> And side-hustle after side-hustle keep testing what works.<br /> <br /> <b>Side hustle what? </b><br /> <br /> It could be as simple as trying to re-sell things on Craigslist or as complicated as pretending to want to buy a business! </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> This is what I meant. Maybe instead of money-chasing I should have said side-hustling. I’ll be honest though I might not have stuck with them for long enough. Half of it could be either impatience or the fact that side-hustles seem to bear fruit way faster for most people as I read and see everywhere, and then when I try it it doesn’t go that way. I tried to resell clothes on Poshmark and I’ve tried to make some Fiverr gigs. I know saying it’s saturated might be a bit of a cop-out but I couldn’t find a way of making myself different, that’s my own fault. Again it comes down to me not knowing what I’m good at, what value am I offering?<br /> <br /> <br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 112857" data-quote="machinistguy" data-source="post: 1080296" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080296" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080296">machinistguy said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> In statistics, there&#039;s a concept of holding all other variables at their average and then focusing on one variable to understand it, so that&#039;s what I did </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> I’ll try to remember this anytime I my head wants to quantify the amount of work to be done. It’ll certainly be of help to overcome the overwhelm.<br /> <br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 48932" data-quote="fastlane_dad" data-source="post: 1080302" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080302" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080302">fastlane_dad said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Do you have a job? Consistent form of money coming in? Sure at some point you can start worrying and building up a fastlane business -- but it can take years to make something of it, or to find a way, a product or a marketing system that works.<br /> <br /> What are you currently selling? Why is that not working? </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> No and yes. The short answer is I had to become a housewife, but I have a small income that my husband gives me and I handle myself with that. As valuable as I am to the household I‘ve been finding it hard to also feel that I’m advancing towards my personal goals.<br /> <br /> ”Niching down” has become a bit of a challenge because I find it hard to relate to anyone these days. I’m not part of people groups. I’m pretty isolated.<br /> <br /> Getting a new specialized skill or getting a part time job has become increasingly appealing because as it is right now I feel I’m a blank canvas without direction. The only reason I resisted the idea was because since I had the time I thought I could make something into a stream of income instead, and I came up with the book idea:<br /> <br /> I made a book for artists. It’s a collection of reference poses with a respective blank page on the other side to draw. It is meant to reduce the time you spend looking for poses to draw and warm up, because to improve your drawing of the human body, you’re meant to draw the body a lot.<br /> <br /> The reason why I think it’s not working is because —like I said in the first paragraph that I’ve got to new “levels”— I don’t know how to sell it. I got to the “ok I made the book“ part, I filled my basement with books (lol), made the website, and now I realize I suck at marketing and also don’t have that much capital to be burning on ads, so I’m working on that, but in the meantime sales are stalled. I’m currently trying to grow a social media account to send traffic to the website, make a community, and learning marketing aspects in the process. As you can imagine it takes time and I haven’t seen a win in a while.<br /> <br /> <br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 48932" data-quote="fastlane_dad" data-source="post: 1080302" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080302" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080302">fastlane_dad said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> All these come in bits and pieces. It took @NeoDialectic and I 15 solid YEARS from poking around the web doing internet marketing, to reselling some products, forming various LLCs, building them up, working on marketing, finding someone to do accounting ETC...to eventually figuring out how to get our company ready to sale, work through negotiations etc. Remember ... 15 YEARS!! And that&#039;s of nearly full-time commitment. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> Thank you, I needed to hear this. This isn’t discussed or mentioned, probably not on purpose because why enter into all the details, but the rhetoric that ends up in my head is that I’m the only one struggling with this. I try to find the information but there’s no resources available on this, it’s all trial and error and many potentially finance-ruining mistakes waiting to happen that scare me out of action very often.<br /> <br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 48932" data-quote="fastlane_dad" data-source="post: 1080302" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080302" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080302">fastlane_dad said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> You need to work on small wins. No matter what those are. They don&#039;t have to even be financially driven, just wins. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> I do, yes. I’ll try to think of some things even if just related to the household to try to feel more in control of what I’m doing with my life. Maybe I do need that part time job after all or if I could start a career path that let me relate to people once again.<br /> <br /> <br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 64612" data-quote="Kevin88660" data-source="post: 1080307" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080307" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080307">Kevin88660 said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> My mindset is based on a “fact” that any form of success, especially so success in business is very hard. <a href="https://hypefury.com/?via=mj-demarco24" target="_blank" class="link link--external" rel="nofollow ugc noopener">Social media</a> might portrays otherwise but numbers don’t lie. The more rare it is the harder it is. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> These days everywhere I look everyone is making $10k a month. It doesn’t help that the reason im on social media is to try to grow my business, But I need to scroll to a point to try to engage with accounts and find trending audios and what not. Somehow I liked a couple things and I got getting targeted for every single digital product making course out there and everyone seems to be a rich housewife doing affiliate marketing. Wtf.<br /> <br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 47734" data-quote="Black_Dragon43" data-source="post: 1080311" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080311" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080311">Black_Dragon43 said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Imo, unless you had a job that exposed you to complexity — investment banker on Wall Street, C-level exec in a large company, and so on, then you’re not used to complexity. You need to get used to it, and you don’t have anyone to hold your hand and clean up your messes, so you need to expose yourself to complexity slowly and learn to handle it.<br /> <br /> Being a waiter in some restaurant teaches you F*ck all about complexity. The same as being some $200K/yr programmer for Google. So most jobs aren’t very useful for this. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> This is very true. Nothing prepared me for this complexity and it’s tough navigating it without feeling overwhelmed, but it’s also a bit hard to find relatable posts or resources regarding that. At the end of the day my head just concludes I‘m the useless PoS that can’t figure it out.<br /> <br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 62755" data-quote="Primeperiwinkle" data-source="post: 1080331" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080331" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080331">Primeperiwinkle said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Bella, weird question but have you ever considered getting into plumbing? I think you&#039;d actually love having a trade. By the time you were confident say, in 1-3 yrs, you&#039;d be able to implement everything you&#039;ve learned from TFF.<br /> <br /> Check this guy out, he&#039;s sweet.<br /> <div class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--unfurl js-unfurl fauxBlockLink" data-unfurl="true" data-result-id="400922" data-url="https://open.substack.com/pub/thebluescholar/p/a-practical-guide-to-entering-the?r=17osx8&amp;utm_medium=ios&amp;utm_campaign=post" data-host="open.substack.com" data-pending="false"> <div class="contentRow"> <div class="contentRow-figure contentRow-figure--fixedSmall js-unfurl-figure"> <img src="/community/proxy.php?image=https%3A%2F%2Fimages.unsplash.com%2Fphoto-1504328345606-18bbc8c9d7d1%3Fixlib%3Drb-4.0.3%26ixid%3DM3wxMjA3fDB8MHxwaG90by1wYWdlfHx8fGVufDB8fHx8fA%253D%253D%26auto%3Dformat%26fit%3Dcrop%26w%3D1000%26q%3D80&amp;hash=b3fe3268df2a72f3c602ed9bb9665565&amp;return_error=1" loading="lazy" alt="open.substack.com" class="bbCodeBlockUnfurl-image" data-onerror="hide-parent"/> </div> <div class="contentRow-main"> <h3 class="contentRow-header js-unfurl-title"> <a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/thebluescholar/p/a-practical-guide-to-entering-the?r=17osx8&amp;utm_medium=ios&amp;utm_campaign=post" class="link link--external fauxBlockLink-blockLink" target="_blank" rel="nofollow ugc noopener" data-proxy-href=""> A Practical Guide to Entering the Trades </a> </h3> <div class="contentRow-snippet js-unfurl-desc">An FAQ for those wanting to consider blue collar work but are unsure where to start!</div> <div class="contentRow-minor contentRow-minor--hideLinks"> <span class="js-unfurl-favicon"> <img src="/community/proxy.php?image=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstackcdn.com%2Fimage%2Ffetch%2F%24s_%21nRsO%21%2Cf_auto%2Cq_auto%3Agood%2Cfl_progressive%3Asteep%2Fhttps%253A%252F%252Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fpublic%252Fimages%252F21c27091-0b80-4c02-9afe-8d067770aa91%252Ffavicon-16x16.png&amp;hash=91fab088f3700a1a0dc1615bb3987d07&amp;return_error=1" loading="lazy" alt="open.substack.com" class="bbCodeBlockUnfurl-icon" data-onerror="hide-parent"/> </span> open.substack.com </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> Funny that you mentioned it but sometimes I wish I was more on the handy side. Not sure if plumbing is the right one but I always fantasize about home improvement type of tasks, I just have no idea where to start teaching myself how to be more handy… not to mention some tasks require *gasp* machines. I’d love to learn how to do stuff to flip houses for example, then I could teach it to other people. I guess I should start watching tutorials on YT and start trying Harder...<br /> <br /> <a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/members/54694/" class="username" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" data-user-id="54694" data-username="@Private Witt">@Private Witt</a> I have a thread on the inside where I got help with optimizing the website, you can find the link there. Please don’t buy anything lol *hoping BizyDad won’t see this*<br /> <br /> <a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/members/50816/" class="username" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" data-user-id="50816" data-username="@Xeon">@Xeon</a> Thanks for the idea <img src="/community/imgs/emoticons/em-smile2.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-shortname=":)" /> Unfortunately I feel running with this would be another distraction— if I can’t sell my drawing book, how am I going to sell the shampoo? I think the issue lies in the things that I’ve yet to figure out and that I gotta work on. However I really appreciate you sharing the INE with me <span class="smilie smilie--emoji" title="Big Grin :D" data-smilie="8" data-shortname=":D">😀</span><br /> <br /> <a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/members/96450/" class="username" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" data-user-id="96450" data-username="@ZackerySprague">@ZackerySprague</a> Thank you friend— I might take you on that offer!</div>
 
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<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1080293" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080293" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080293">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> I guess I should just give it up for now? Give it more time? Is this like dating, when you stop looking for it it comes to you or something lame like that? Because as it is it consumes my everyday thought yet I’m not getting anywhere. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>No, you should not give up. I was like you. Money chasing, getting ideas and becoming super excited, only to have later a lot of questions and doubts and finally throw that idea at garbage. <br /> <br /> I gave it more time and nothing changed. We do not have time. We only have right now. <br /> <br /> I started something in 2020 (I have an execution post, if you want to find more about). I saw a product on facebook, wanted to buy for my wife and I saw that they do not ship in my country. It was a personalized product. So I decided to learn how to do it and see if I can make some sales here, in my country. <br /> <br /> I did not know anything about how is made or what should I do. Every day I wanted to quit, but I always did that and knew the destination if I took the same route. I was scared and frustrated. <br /> <br /> When I had the first sale, my printer died. Imagine the feelings and the thoughts. First order and I can not even make the product... <br /> <br /> Long story short, I did not become rich. I am still selling that product, but sales started to go down. But I made some money, and my wife works in our business and she can stay home with the kids. <br /> <br /> I am currently staying in raising kid holiday (having a second baby), but in 2024 I will come back to work at my job, which I hate. I thought that I will manage to take the business at a level that we can both stay home with our kids and work. I haven&#039;t arrived at that spot, YET. <br /> <br /> But the thoughts of fear, feelings of &quot;I do not know if I can do this&quot;, &quot;why can&#039;t I do that&quot; &quot;I failed to scale the business when I stayed home, how am I supposed to do that when I will come back to the job? When I will have the time for the family, wife job and businesses?&quot; are still here with me. These thoughts I have them constant. But we are not our thoughts. <br /> <br /> Just because you have a thought, doesn&#039;t mean it is true. <br /> <br /> Now I am working on bringing a non personalized product. I saw it on facebook, and saw that is not in my country. But I only focus on the best next step. I have a million thoughts and questions, but if they not answer to the problem that is right now in my face, I ignore them.<br /> <br /> I have found that doing this makes me calmer. If I think at all the things that I need to do, I become overwhelm and do nothing. If I do have problems and do not know how to deal with them, I come here and look for help. This forum is wonderful. There are a lot of people who made it and now they give a hand to beginners. <br /> <br /> So, it doesn&#039;t matter what road you choose. Focus on step 1, not 50. When you find yourself having thoughts that do not help you, change them. You can not control your first thought, but you always can control your second. And come back doing your next step. <br /> <br /> This is what I am doing currently. But I am not on the fastlane side, yet.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper">I&#039;m not going to do my usual long post. You already know I believe in you. I&#039;m commenting on here as a show of support, and just to point out a couple of things...<br /> <br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1080293" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080293" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080293">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> I always tell myself I don’t want to post a new thread until I have something of value to share. On the other hand, this journey is a very lonely one and I treasure the moments when I can get a bit of chit chat with you guys and a bit of support. So here I am. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> Ok, but...<br /> <br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1080293" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080293" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080293">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> My mind suddenly realizes I’m in charge of figuring out an item’s supply chain, marketing, LLC formation, accounting, and goes into meltdown mode, having no idea where to start and more importantly not believing I’m capable of managing such thing. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> Having a progress thread where you can take each one of these things and slowly ask questions and benefit from the hive mind is one of the most valuable things threads you can create on this form, especially because most people haven&#039;t started a business or are in the beginning stages.<br /> <br /> Staying silent keeps you stuck.<br /> <br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1080293" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080293" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080293">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> I could handle the desert if I had something I believed in but currently I don’t think I have a <a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/threads/the-productocracy-how-to-print-money-legally.92363/" class="link link--internal">productocracy</a> in my hands, of any kind. I look around me and I’ve been finding solutions have been made for all of what I look into, and they’re made well. I feel I’m scrambling to find the value add and as such the ideas are not worthy.<br /> <br /> I guess I should just give it up for now? Give it more time? Is this like dating, when you stop looking for it it comes to you or something lame like that? Because as it is it consumes my everyday thought yet I’m not getting anywhere.<br /> <br /> It sucks knowing what your purpose is and sucking a$$ at it. It’s like wanting to be a doctor to help people and you keep failing all your exams. Do you really want it?! You must not want it that bad huh. Or maybe you do want it but you’ve dyslexia and you’re having the time of your life everytime you study.<br /> <br /> To top it off and because I’m supposed to compare myself to better people, all I see is success I don’t yet have. The carrot dangles everywhere and I’m hungry. Do I not have what it takes? If that’s the case I’m pretty effed cause it’s not like I have a 401k I started in my 20s so... I better get what it takes if I don’t have it.<br /> <br /> Aight I think I’m done. I love you guys, never change. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> If you really want to stop what you&#039;re doing, and you don&#039;t have another product based business to get to, one of the more valuable things that you can do is develop a new expertise. <br /> <br /> I&#039;m not saying that you should do that, I&#039;m not saying that you need to do that, simply offering it up as a consideration.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 47734" data-quote="Black_Dragon43" data-source="post: 1080391" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080391" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080391">Black_Dragon43 said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> I bet if I could hang around @Antifragile for a year, and go everywhere he goes, I’d know how to run his business. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> Hey man, that&#039;s really unfair. I bet if I could hang around you for a year, and go everywhere you go, I&#039;d still not know what you do for a living. <img src="/community/imgs/emoticons/em-wink.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" data-shortname=";)" /><br /> (couldn&#039;t help myself, ha-ha).<br /> <br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1080349" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080349" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080349">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> I’m the only one struggling with this. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> Everyone, trust me... everyone struggles. But not everyone is honest about it.<br /> <br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1080349" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080349" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080349">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> it comes down to me not knowing what I’m good at, what value am I offering? </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> <h3 class="bbHeading"><a class="u-anchorTarget" name="-the-two-most-important-days-in-your-life-are-the-day-you-are-born-and-the-day-you-find-out-why-%E2%80%93-mark-twain"></a>&quot;The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.&quot; – Mark Twain&#8203;<a class="hoverLink" href="#-the-two-most-important-days-in-your-life-are-the-day-you-are-born-and-the-day-you-find-out-why-%E2%80%93-mark-twain" title="Permanent link"></a></h3><br /> You can&#039;t rush this process. And frankly, given this thread... you are on the right track.<br /> <br /> There is so much advice here in this thread, that it&#039;s conflicting already. Think about that. Consuming more will only lead to more confusion. You need action. Any action, as long as it moves you closer to your goal.<br /> <br /> When I feel like what you are describing, I double down on meditation. It&#039;s not for everyone. The point is to have some method to go inwards to get clarity. What&#039;s your inner method for dealing with life&#039;s challenges? Only YOU know what to do, even if it&#039;s deeper down and you have to dig it up.<br /> <br /> Good luck.</div>
 
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<div class="bbWrapper"><a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/members/68888/" class="username" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" data-user-id="68888" data-username="@STEFANTP">@STEFANTP</a> Thanks so much man that means a lot, it sounds like you’re onto something and just need patience but you’ve got something in your hands. I will try to remember I can control the second thought. <br /> <br /> <a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/members/47734/" class="username" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" data-user-id="47734" data-username="@Black_Dragon43">@Black_Dragon43</a> <a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/members/55234/" class="username" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" data-user-id="55234" data-username="@Antifragile">@Antifragile</a> thanks for your thoughts guys. I’ve got my mind working on something <br /> <br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 72777" data-quote="BizyDad" data-source="post: 1080395" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080395" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080395">BizyDad said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Having a progress thread where you can take each one of these things and slowly ask questions and benefit from the hive mind is one of the most valuable things threads you can create on this form, especially because most people haven&#039;t started a business or are in the beginning stages.<br /> <br /> Staying silent keeps you stuck. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> You’re right. I’ve been scared to start one because I don’t want it to get nowhere. I keep waiting for *that project* that seems more worthwhile or more likely to lead somewhere but I realize none do you just gotta trust the process. <br /> <br /> I am considering learning something new, I’m just on the fence on what exactly, might as well do it strategically.</div>
 
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<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 55234" data-quote="Antifragile" data-source="post: 1080294" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080294" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080294">Antifragile said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> It could be as simple as trying to re-sell things on Craigslist or as complicated as pretending to want to buy a business! </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> This is a great way to expose yourself to ideas that have been proven. Anytime I review businesses for sale, I&#039;m like, &quot;This hunk of shit and its website makes $10k/mo?&quot; Using this method, you can find businesses with proven value, and you can improve on the concept and then add value skew.<br /> <br /> There&#039;s a huge sub-culture of acquisition entrepreneurship where buying small micro-businesses is seen as a no-brainer: Proven concept, proven sales, and the hardest part of getting started (often the first sale) is done for you.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper">Very good post.<br /> <br /> From what you are saying you indeed lack some skills.<br /> And this is a very tough place to be.<br /> Nobody gets born with skills. We all suck. It takes constant and continuous iteration to develop skills.<br /> I have been there many times and it can be super frustrating.<br /> In your case (and for most people) the very first skill you must learn is to learn how to learn.<br /> <span style="font-family: '-apple-system'">Learning stuff needs to be constantly applied. So focus on learnings something each and every day no matter how small it is.</span><br /> <br /> But on the technical part:<br /> What you are trying to achieve is to become a businesswoman. So you have one (easier said than done) objective. Sell one product/ service to one type of consumer. In other words, your next objective is to achieve product-market fit. It seems like you&#039;re struggling to find where you can add value. Instead of trying to find the perfect idea, experiment with different ones. Create small, low-cost prototypes or offer services on a small scale. See what resonates with your audience and what you enjoy doing. What do people like getting from you that you can monetize? What real value can you add? If it is more than one you need to choose and double down on the one that seems more prosperous. But it has to be ONE.<br /> I also found this thing in your post interesting:<br /> <blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1080293" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080293" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080293">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> I went from thinking “if other people do this I should be able too” to “other people can do this, but I can’t”. Why? Idk. It just seems like that these days. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>What does idk mean? You HAVE TO put in the effort and see EXACTLY what they are doing. And then just steal the playbook. Iterate what the people that are doing what you want to do are doing and do it yourself. Do it many many times. Think in years not months as many other people pointed out.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1080293" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080293" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080293">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Let me start by saying I’m not proud of this post. I always tell myself I don’t want to post a new thread until I have something of value to share. On the other hand, this journey is a very lonely one and I treasure the moments when I can get a bit of chit chat with you guys and a bit of support. So here I am.<br /> <br /> Okay like the title says. My mindset is suffering. Ever since the start of the year when I got kind of stuck with my book sales it hit me harder. I’m not sure how to say it but in a way I got to new levels of action I’d never been to and that’s good. On the other hand I found some new, bad resistance. Some beliefs just appeared in my mind and they’re festering there:<br /> <br /> I don’t feel I have what it takes. I adopted the mindset of a producer, and I try to use that filter when approaching ideas. Immediately I encounter questions, mostly operational related, and get blocked. My mind suddenly realizes I’m in charge of figuring out an item’s supply chain, marketing, LLC formation, accounting, and goes into meltdown mode, having no idea where to start and more importantly not believing I’m capable of managing such thing.<br /> <br /> I went from thinking “if other people do this I should be able too” to “other people can do this, but I can’t”. Why? Idk. It just seems like that these days. I’m torn between telling myself I’m being realist and telling myself that I’m just using the wrong set of beliefs for some reason, but I have that little voice telling me “not everyone can do it and that’s okay” and I want it to shut up.<br /> <br /> I’ve been exploring several avenues that ultimately just feel like money chasing because while I know im not supposed to reinvent the wheel I can’t find a place where I can add value.<br /> <br /> That makes me sad.<br /> <br /> I could handle the desert if I had something I believed in but currently I don’t think I have a productocracy in my hands, of any kind. I look around me and I’ve been finding solutions have been made for all of what I look into, and they’re made well. I feel I’m scrambling to find the value add and as such the ideas are not worthy.<br /> <br /> I guess I should just give it up for now? Give it more time? Is this like dating, when you stop looking for it it comes to you or something lame like that? Because as it is it consumes my everyday thought yet I’m not getting anywhere.<br /> <br /> It sucks knowing what your purpose is and sucking a$$ at it. It’s like wanting to be a doctor to help people and you keep failing all your exams. Do you really want it?! You must not want it that bad huh. Or maybe you do want it but you’ve dyslexia and you’re having the time of your life everytime you study.<br /> <br /> To top it off and because I’m supposed to compare myself to better people, all I see is success I don’t yet have. The carrot dangles everywhere and I’m hungry. Do I not have what it takes? If that’s the case I’m pretty effed cause it’s not like I have a 401k I started in my 20s so... I better get what it takes if I don’t have it.<br /> <br /> Aight I think I’m done. I love you guys, never change. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>I might get flack for saying this, but here is my piece of advice:<br /> <br /> <b>STOP.</b><br /> <br /> Just stop thinking about all the different things you have to do. Be lazier. Do <b>the thing that you must do next</b> and nothing else.<br /> <br /> Your problem isn&#039;t that you aren&#039;t doing enough, it&#039;s that you are thinking about the next 7,363,154 steps and that&#039;s making you totally unable to identify and do the next <b>1 step.</b><br /> <br /> You&#039;ve already come this far. What is a measly 1 tiny step?<br /> <br /> Focus on that. Forget all the other stuff (Think redneck business until you are bigger - obviously still following necessary laws and rules).<br /> <br /> Maybe when that clears a bit you will have a win or two and feel like looking further ahead. But don&#039;t overwhelm yourself trying to plan the entire story. It doesn&#039;t work like that. Just my take.</div>
 
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<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 55234" data-quote="Antifragile" data-source="post: 1080399" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080399" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080399">Antifragile said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Hey man, that&#039;s really unfair. I bet if I could hang around you for a year, and go everywhere you go, I&#039;d still not know what you do for a living. <img src="/community/imgs/emoticons/em-wink.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" data-shortname=";)" /><br /> (couldn&#039;t help myself, ha-ha). </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> <a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/attachments/5140058-6287857-image-a-65_1539806505236-webp.50641/" target="_blank"><img src="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/data/attachments/47/47257-47738dec31bcc0c16f05f4c97811e9b0.jpg?hash=hJXAsK-_KB" class="bbImage " style="" alt="5140058-6287857-image-a-65_1539806505236.webp" title="5140058-6287857-image-a-65_1539806505236.webp" width="200" height="278" loading="lazy" /></a><br /> <br /> AF after one year shadowing BD.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper">I know exactly how you feel, and it&#039;s still something I battle myself with. <a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/members/72777/" class="username" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" data-user-id="72777" data-username="@BizyDad">@BizyDad</a> called me out for shit talking myself and ignoring the fact I&#039;m 2/2 in regards to 6 figure exits. It definitely snapped me back to reality.<br /> <br /> Give yourself credit for what you&#039;ve already accomplished, and as others have said, turn every future step into something bite-sized.<br /> <br /> Finally, I&#039;m also in a position of venturing down this road solo, and while I was in Chicago, I&#039;m now in the suburbs. That said, if you&#039;d ever like to connect, feel free to say hi. It&#039;d be nice to network with more local entrepreneurs.<br /> <br /> Cheers!</div>
 
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<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 103922" data-quote="Oso" data-source="post: 1080569" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080569" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080569">Oso said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> I know exactly how you feel, and it&#039;s still something I battle myself with. <a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/members/72777/" class="username" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" data-user-id="72777" data-username="@BizyDad">@BizyDad</a> called me out for shit talking myself and ignoring the fact I&#039;m 2/2 in regards to 6 figure exits. It definitely snapped me back to reality.<br /> <br /> Give yourself credit for what you&#039;ve already accomplished, and as others have said, turn every future step into something bite-sized.<br /> <br /> Finally, I&#039;m also in a position of venturing down this road solo, and while I was in Chicago, I&#039;m now in the suburbs. That said, if you&#039;d ever like to connect, feel free to say hi. It&#039;d be nice to network with more local entrepreneurs.<br /> <br /> Cheers! </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> Especially with my style of communication, a lot of times it is unclear if I really am helping people, wasting my time, or (my bigger concern) making a situation worse. <br /> <br /> Thank you for sharing this. It is cool to see my advice being expanded on and incorporated into your advice.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1080293" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080293" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080293">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> Let me start by saying I’m not proud of this post. I always tell myself I don’t want to post a new thread until I have something of value to share. On the other hand, this journey is a very lonely one and I treasure the moments when I can get a bit of chit chat with you guys and a bit of support. So here I am.<br /> <br /> Okay like the title says. My mindset is suffering. Ever since the start of the year when I got kind of stuck with my book sales it hit me harder. I’m not sure how to say it but in a way I got to new levels of action I’d never been to and that’s good. On the other hand I found some new, bad resistance. Some beliefs just appeared in my mind and they’re festering there:<br /> <br /> I don’t feel I have what it takes. I adopted the mindset of a producer, and I try to use that filter when approaching ideas. Immediately I encounter questions, mostly operational related, and get blocked. My mind suddenly realizes I’m in charge of figuring out an item’s supply chain, marketing, LLC formation, accounting, and goes into meltdown mode, having no idea where to start and more importantly not believing I’m capable of managing such thing.<br /> <br /> I went from thinking “if other people do this I should be able too” to “other people can do this, but I can’t”. Why? Idk. It just seems like that these days. I’m torn between telling myself I’m being realist and telling myself that I’m just using the wrong set of beliefs for some reason, but I have that little voice telling me “not everyone can do it and that’s okay” and I want it to shut up.<br /> <br /> I’ve been exploring several avenues that ultimately just feel like money chasing because while I know im not supposed to reinvent the wheel I can’t find a place where I can add value.<br /> <br /> That makes me sad.<br /> <br /> I could handle the desert if I had something I believed in but currently I don’t think I have a productocracy in my hands, of any kind. I look around me and I’ve been finding solutions have been made for all of what I look into, and they’re made well. I feel I’m scrambling to find the value add and as such the ideas are not worthy.<br /> <br /> I guess I should just give it up for now? Give it more time? Is this like dating, when you stop looking for it it comes to you or something lame like that? Because as it is it consumes my everyday thought yet I’m not getting anywhere.<br /> <br /> It sucks knowing what your purpose is and sucking a$$ at it. It’s like wanting to be a doctor to help people and you keep failing all your exams. Do you really want it?! You must not want it that bad huh. Or maybe you do want it but you’ve dyslexia and you’re having the time of your life everytime you study.<br /> <br /> To top it off and because I’m supposed to compare myself to better people, all I see is success I don’t yet have. The carrot dangles everywhere and I’m hungry. Do I not have what it takes? If that’s the case I’m pretty effed cause it’s not like I have a 401k I started in my 20s so... I better get what it takes if I don’t have it.<br /> <br /> Aight I think I’m done. I love you guys, never change. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Dear Bella,<br /> I&#039;ve had a whole list of recent failures. I&#039;ve tried some things that just haven&#039;t worked. I have my base businesses &amp; assets that are my income stream. Yes, I&#039;ve built a productocracy here, but it&#039;s taken me since 3-1-1999 -- when I took this on to save my mom from bankruptcy. That&#039;s 24 1/2 years of hard work and struggles. And this was a gig that I really didn&#039;t want to do. <br /> <br /> But I&#039;m still trying new and different things. I still have side gigs and dribble income streams. I&#039;ve been doing different aspects of RE for 47 years. I guess I should decide what I wanna be when I grow up.<br /> <br /> When I started I was so desperate to make a living! I couldn&#039;t sleep at night. I sat up at night reading books on how to sell, how to relate to others, and listening to a set of tapes a friend got for me about how to be successful in RE. When I was out knocking on doors, I was afraid to go home too soon. I was afraid that the next door would be the right one to get a listing. I was a kidney patient, so when I got too tired to go on, I&#039;d sit on the curb and rest for a few minutes. I had to close my deals. I was afraid that I was going to run out of money to make up my fliers to get my listings sold. (At that time they had to be printed at the printer. It was before copy machines were common.) I worried about running out of gas money for my car. Ordering boxes of cards was traumatic. They cost money I didn&#039;t have and I was giving out stacks every day. I cried all the time for the first 3 months. Then it was just most of the time.<br /> <br /> It took me a long time and a lot of tears to become successful. Then the market turned cold and stuff happened. And I had to learn about financial and credit cycles. In my adulthood, we&#039;re in my 5th business cycle. That was a lot of failures moments for me. I had to pivot a lot of times to figure out again how to make a living.<br /> <br /> I&#039;m saying you are in good company. I&#039;ve made fortunes and lost them. I tried things that have worked for a time and then failed or fizzled out. Other times things suddenly fell apart. Don&#039;t be so hard on yourself. Everyone on this Forum who is successful has been there and done that. It&#039;s all part of the process.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper">I could barely sleep last night. You’re all right, I’m thinking about every single step at the same time, and it’s hard not to do so. I’m not sure when this started because I wasn’t like this before. But my anxiety is playing tricks with me and telling me I’m not gonna make it in time for when I need it the most. The plan starts to rear its head and I suddenly lose it and panic a bit more. I feel I’m having some sort of existencial angst.<br /> <br /> I was blessed with a call from my forum friend Suzanne who knows her real estate and we were talking about getting my RE license to acquire a specialized skill. I’ve already invested once in RE, and even though I’m still not 100% sure it’s for me I might give it a try as a way to gather capital for more investments and network with people. It’s a better alternative than having to go back to retail.<br /> <br /> As for the drawing book it’s hard to let go, I still suspect I did a poor job with my ads and driving traffic, not to mention I’ve no idea what to do with the MOQ of them I got. I told myself I’d give it until the end of the year before I drop it, and would focus on building the community to take traffic to the website.<br /> <br /> ”the plan“ seems a bit blurry as is but I’d guess acquiring a skill and working on the social media following is a start. I’ll commit to that until the end of the year and see where things are then.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1080686" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080686" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080686">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> I still suspect I did a poor job with my ads and driving traffic </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> My guess is it has nothing to do with your ads and traffic, but the market in which your product serves: It is terribly small. Even huge success in the space won&#039;t change your life. If you&#039;re gonna suffer with the periodic struggles that come with entrepreneurship, don&#039;t you want a reward that is worth the effort?</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper">It seems to me that the longer you are in an industry, with an entrepreneurial mindset. Problems and ideas come to you over time. I see that what I once assumed is not a real problem and the real ones have appeared over time.<br /> <br /> Maybe it would be good to learn something new,go into new industry, even on a full-time job.<br /> Process always is necessery. You sound like you want to avoid him</div>
 
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<div class="bbWrapper">I&#039;d say that you are suffering from a combination of impostor syndrome and being in the &quot;valley of despair&quot; (Dunning-Kruger effect). the TL/DR on that is that you are comparing yourself too much with others based on their outwards facing progress while not taking into account that they too has been through the same if not harder struggles than you at the same time as you have passed the phase of feeling invincible and &quot;I can do this! Bring it ALL!&quot; and you have begun feeling the negative effects (not often talked about) of learning new skills which is you have begun to widen your knowledge and that in turn has made you aware of all the previously unknown unknowns. Those things now has come to your attention as stuff you feel needs to be done as well and it has piled onto your to-do-list in total disarray.<br /> <br /> It&#039;s unfortunately the price to pay when learning new things. To more and more become aware of how ignorant one has been all this time. So the &quot;trick&quot; is to just come to terms with not knowing and just learn what you feel should be learned and delegate the rest so that you wont get overwhelmed by the tsunami of unknowns that inevitably is coming for us all.<br /> <br /> Now joining the choir I will also say that you need to take a deep breath and take a step back. Observe everything from a far and look at what you have achieved so far. Compare that ONLY with your passed self and what you had when you first started out and acknowledge how much of a success you actually have become in comparison to that. Even if you still have a long way to go you need to take one step at a time, just as when you begun. Try to identify and break down the individual and actionable tasks of a thing to do and put it on your list in order of importance and the natural succession of tasks. For example &quot;set up my LLC&quot; is not an actionable step since it consists of several steps, break that down into &quot;File form for *what ever that is*&quot;, &quot;set appointment at bank for setting up company account&quot; etc. etc. And try not to jumble up all the tasks you know that needs to be done. Put emphasis on identifying a single &quot;Next Action&quot; to take. Do that and find the next &quot;Next Action&quot; to take.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1080686" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080686" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080686">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> I could barely sleep last night. You’re all right, I’m thinking about every single step at the same time, and it’s hard not to do so. I’m not sure when this started because I wasn’t like this before. But my anxiety is playing tricks with me and telling me I’m not gonna make it in time for when I need it the most. The plan starts to rear its head and I suddenly lose it and panic a bit more. I feel I’m having some sort of existencial angst.<br /> <br /> I was blessed with a call from my forum friend Suzanne who knows her real estate and we were talking about getting my RE license to acquire a specialized skill. I’ve already invested once in RE, and even though I’m still not 100% sure it’s for me I might give it a try as a way to gather capital for more investments and network with people. It’s a better alternative than having to go back to retail.<br /> <br /> As for the drawing book it’s hard to let go, I still suspect I did a poor job with my ads and driving traffic, not to mention I’ve no idea what to do with the MOQ of them I got. I told myself I’d give it until the end of the year before I drop it, and would focus on building the community to take traffic to the website.<br /> <br /> ”the plan“ seems a bit blurry as is but I’d guess acquiring a skill and working on the social media following is a start. I’ll commit to that until the end of the year and see where things are then. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote><br /> You post here is the subject of my next newsletter, if you&#039;re not subscribed, you should. (Forum users, hit your settings and opt in to receive) -- I hope it speaks to you as I find it a eye-opening lesson a lot of people here that fail to understand. <br /> <br /> It should go out tomorrow.</div>
 
<div class="bbWrapper">HI Bella,<br /> <br /> Apologies for the low-value post, I hope this post brings you value. I am probably not the best person to even give advice considering the challenge I am facing to fix. I think you are doing a fantastic job, you are going out there and testing the market with a book that you have created using the various tactics you have described above. You are doing awesome, just keep tweaking <img src="/community/imgs/emoticons/em-smile2.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-shortname=":)" />. As the two most important things I have read from these books are either it&#039;s your product or your message to the market. It also could be the market audience you are targeting.<br /> <br /> I did see MJ&#039;s post about your TAM, not sure what the market size you are selling to it, but if MJ mentioned that. Than that could be a factor. Another thing or lesson that I have learned at this time is also not comparing yourself to others. You see a lot of other people ahead of you and you wish you were there, so you try to rush the process. But after studying multiple people i.e. Glenn Stearns, Kara Goldin, Michia Rohressen, or even Nick Seavert. You&#039;ll find the path is very long 5-10 years it seems. In times of the Dessert of Dessertion, it is said in the book to have a very strong why that compells you or lits a fire.<br /> <br /> Here&#039;s my why (Still adjusting):<br /> &quot;To become better than my father, to not eat bad foods (my biological dad has a huge belly, runs in the family), to not abandon my children. To be the best version of me possible. To become proud of myself and to love how I look (I was/still am very conscious about how I look due to how I look like my father). To never file bankruptcy (never giving up, when you feel all hope is lost). To care and love the underdog class of individuals, show them what&#039;s possible, and genuinely establish relationships with people with growth-minded individuals. To become a leader, a leader that everyone would never forget.&quot;<br /> <br /> There&#039;s a great book called:<br /> <br /> <a href="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/attachments/1691542108854-webp.50649/" target="_blank"><img src="https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/data/attachments/47/47265-326367185de467fa736a69774f92dd56.jpg?hash=NkYdMQStxH" class="bbImage " style="" alt="1691542108854.png" title="1691542108854.png" width="189" height="278" loading="lazy" /></a><br /> <br /> It talks about how we care too much about what others say to us, keeping up with the Joneses, browsing social media i.e. Instagram, and seeing the posts/stories people create that make you feel bad. I actually picked this up today. It also talks about your upbringing and how your parents played a very particular in this as well. I would suggest picking it up <img src="/community/imgs/emoticons/em-smile2.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" data-shortname=":)" />.<br /> <br /> Another thing, I think there&#039;s either a principle or strategy in the TGRE that we tend to look at the very top of the mountain versus the three steps ahead of us. I think it&#039;s the problem-solving principle. I forgot the name. Instead of focusing on the problems that are ahead of us, we should focus on the problems that are three steps in front.<br /> <br /> I do hope that this post is much better. I read a small snippet from the second book of Unscripted the part where people who have no network are individuals who are taking and not giving. So I am placing an emphasis on giving despite the challenge in front of me. I&#039;m my mind, I felt like I was giving enough to people. So I want to take care of that and switch or practice giving more than taking.<br /> <br /> As the great Glenn Stearns says in the beginning of his Autobiography book &quot;It&#039;s not how you start, it&#039;s how you finish.&quot;<br /> <br /> Here&#039;s another:<br /> <br /> &quot;No matter how far down you fall - no matter how hard the landing is at rock bottom - there is always the prospect of pulling yourself up, making something of yourself, and inspiring others.&quot;<br /> <br /> Glenn Stearns (Founder of Kind Lending, Founder of Stearns Lending sold to Blackstone *Went Bankrupted in 2019?*)</div>
 
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<div class="bbWrapper"><blockquote data-attributes="member: 32930" data-quote="BellaPippin" data-source="post: 1080686" class="bbCodeBlock bbCodeBlock--expandable bbCodeBlock--quote js-expandWatch"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-title"> <a href="/community/goto/post?id=1080686" class="bbCodeBlock-sourceJump" rel="nofollow" data-xf-click="attribution" data-content-selector="#post-1080686">BellaPippin said:</a> </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-content"> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandContent js-expandContent "> I could barely sleep last night. You’re all right, I’m thinking about every single step at the same time, and it’s hard not to do so. I’m not sure when this started because I wasn’t like this before. But my anxiety is playing tricks with me and telling me I’m not gonna make it in time for when I need it the most. The plan starts to rear its head and I suddenly lose it and panic a bit more. I feel I’m having some sort of existencial angst.<br /> <br /> I was blessed with a call from my forum friend Suzanne who knows her real estate and we were talking about getting my RE license to acquire a specialized skill. I’ve already invested once in RE, and even though I’m still not 100% sure it’s for me I might give it a try as a way to gather capital for more investments and network with people. It’s a better alternative than having to go back to retail.<br /> <br /> As for the drawing book it’s hard to let go, I still suspect I did a poor job with my ads and driving traffic, not to mention I’ve no idea what to do with the MOQ of them I got. I told myself I’d give it until the end of the year before I drop it, and would focus on building the community to take traffic to the website.<br /> <br /> ”the plan“ seems a bit blurry as is but I’d guess acquiring a skill and working on the social media following is a start. I’ll commit to that until the end of the year and see where things are then. </div> <div class="bbCodeBlock-expandLink js-expandLink"><a role="button" tabindex="0">Click to expand...</a></div> </div> </blockquote>Learn something new every day.<br /> Do something for yourself every day.<br /> Dream a lot.<br /> Write down your ideas.<br /> Breath deep.<br /> Stop for a moment and look around.<br /> <br /> Bella, you are ruminating. All it will do is keep you tied up in knots. You won&#039;t find clarity until you get some distance and take a long look at where you are and what you&#039;ve been doing. When is the last time you laughed -- I mean really laughed?<br /> <h3 class="bbHeading"><a class="u-anchorTarget" name="-"></a>&#8203;<a class="hoverLink" href="#-" title="Permanent link"></a></h3></div>
 
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