**This thread will change the way you think.**

[Antifragile]

I see certain cars as beautiful works of art.

I met tons of my current friends through the car world and the passion we share.

I had no idea how many hp my car had it which options.

This is interesting. For all the new and aspiring entrepreneurs on the forum, take notice. Here are two guys who have made it. They have the net worth. They owned super cars and yet their enjoyment came from totally different places. Let's dive in...
1. @biophase sees the cars as beautiful. He enjoyed his exotics because they gave him joy.
2. @fastlane_dad likes the cars but it's not even about the cars. Its people first - super cars are just a thing in common, a passion. The real joy comes from people and community.

$12,000 mountain bike and was at the lift line.

I am guilty of spending ludicrous amounts on my bikes, so I understand. During one race I came up to Calvin Macdonald (CEO of Lululemon, but I didn't know him at that time time, so he was just a Calvin to me) and complimented him on his taste in bikes. We had the same bike, so he laughed and we connected. We spent the next 2+ hours racing together (endurance events are like that, long!). It was a way to connect, to share our passions the way @fastlane_dad did with cars. The joy from buying one of the most expensive bikes in the world wasn't material.

And here we have @biophase enjoying the bike for what it has to offer, it's riding ability (totally opposite from his joy from the beauty of exotic cars), he's not staring at the bike like a work of art.

See, it doesn't matter your reasons but the common thread is this: both of these guys derived joy from such purchases. That's what it is all about. Not a short term boost of dopamine or an "ego boost". Nothing of the sort, instead a lasting joy from beauty to community. Fascinating, isn't it? I can certainly relate to both.

Thanks for sharing.

 

[Guest-5ty5s4]

Not sure if you’re being sarcastic. But I do realize my post wasn’t clear. I meant that I rarely click the like button on posts that I read here.

Off topic but something I think about is that giving out likes is free, so I try to be as generous/liberal with them as possible.

I want to spread my friendliness and gratitude to as many people as possible. It’s like buying friends gifts but without spending any money.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Andy Black]

giving out likes is free, so I try to be as generous/liberal with them as possible.

Likewise.

It can help people realise others are reading and appreciate the time and effort they put into posting. A lot of people are worried about posting, and it’s quite easy to tap the Like button to encourage them.

A few people follow me too, so seeing my Likes in their News Feed something might bring some eyeballs to a post too. I don’t know if this actually has any effect, but I know I check out posts MJ Likes.

It also means I don’t go too overboard with the Likes in case it spams people’s News Feeds.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Antifragile]

# On Discomfort

• Your brain cannot differentiate "good" from "bad". We only understand "comfortable" and "uncomfortable". This is why we often do things that are bad for us but make us comfortable. Binge watching useless tv series anyone? Discomfort, is typically is what makes us grow and is good for us.
• What you want is different from what you think you want. You think you want better versions of what you know. But future is *unknown*. Discomfort => Growth => Discovery of new and unknown. Focus on growth instead of outcome, because what you want is 10x better than you can imagine.
• Discomfort can become comfortable through repetition. That's when you aren't growing anymore. Feel that way at the gym? Try running. Got good at running? Try writing! Familiar discomfort = comfort.
• Life is transitory and that's why there is no such thing as true security. Things we own can be lost (money, jobs, assets). Our bodies can get ill. Nothing is truly "secure". It is an uncomfortable truth and you should accept it.
• There is no such thing as true comfort. There is only what feels safe, an idea but nothing more. Best performing people accept this and find happiness in discomfort through growth.
• Life success is about trying, it is not about being certain. Certainty is an illusion based on your past, and the future has new things in store for you. Instead of seeking certainty, commit to making the best of whatever happens.
• Most people do not change until discomfort over status quo is bigger than discomfort over change. Problem is, this can take a long time to manifest. Instead, take control and seek out best ways to grow.

Partly inspired by @MTF discomfort club.

 

[Antifragile]

Please, could you explain this ? I don't understand why fear should mean I like what I'm going towards.

Imagine the reverse. That means you are moving towards something you don't like. But if that's the case, you'd be indifferent and not care one bit. It wouldn't matter if were successful or a failure in that area, because you didn't like or care about it. Take a job interview as an example. If you really want the job, you'll have some fear. It's only natural. But if you are an entrepreneur who doesn't need or want a job and for shits and giggles decided to take an interview - you'd be indifferent. You'd have zero fear.

Hope this helps

 

[Andy Black]

I am still learning about this, but it does seem that you must "toot your own horn" if you want to get anywhere in life.

I always believed that results speak for themselves - that's been deeply ingrained into who I am, passed from family values, BUT my experiences have shown me that the people who rise to the top are pretty loud with their accomplishments... And sometimes the best person is not the one who wins (sadly), the best product doesn't win, the best business doesn't grow the most...

The marketing/branding/promotion of your business, or even of YOU does in fact matter quite a lot...

So I am working on that.

"The squeaky wheel gets the grease," as they say.

Most of my business doesn’t come from me talking about my work. It comes from clients referring me to other people.

I don’t really have a website. My online content is a library I point people to so I don’t repeat myself. My biggest clients never saw it.

Thumbnails? SEO? Email lists? Meh. I put my effort into getting more leads for clients and that’s what gets me more clients.

 

[Antifragile]

@Antifragile, I think you have a few books in you that need to see the light of day.

This is a very valuable thread.

The types of questions that have been helping me with my own introspection are:

Why are you pursuing this?
Will you improve someone's circumstance in life or business with this business / project? How?

What would it feel like to do all you can do to succeed?
What would that mean in terms of activities? (No ill-conceived shortcuts)
Are you doing all you can do?
What is in the way of major progress?
What are the most important one time and continuous activities?
Can you guarantee that the most important actions will be performed with consistency?
What will you add or change to do all you can do?
How can you track and enforce your responsibilities?

Why do you take the actions you take?
Why do you prioritize your actions as you do?
Why do you hold back on the actions you should be taking but aren't? Fear? Laziness? Skill shortfall? Poor planning?
What actions will you schedule to bypass inaction?
What actions and results can be tracked/analyzed for continuous improvement?

Organize the decisions, actions, rules, processes and procedures that might come out of this as part of a playbook.

Thank you. You've made my day with this post!

A random thought for this morning:

You don't change your personality, opinions or even clothes based on whom you're meeting that day. That's a sign of maturity.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Antifragile]

Thanks for tagging me, @Antifragile. I'm glad to hear I could inspire your thoughts.



This may sound like an exaggeration but I truly think that 99% of people just don't accept that they're going to die. Meditating on this truth daily is one of the most powerful exercises to internalize the fact that life never offers true security. By definition, as Jocko recently tweeted, all options lead to death.

I’m a happy person. Some would even call me an optimist.

And I think about death sometimes. It’s especially useful for me when making big life decisions. I ask myself “on my deathbed what will I regret more?” And make a decision. That’s how I decided to start my business.

Similarly, in the moments of extreme stress, when I feel like pressure of life is getting too much and affecting me. I think about end of life and how current bad situation isn’t as bad, after all. And that in the end, few things will really matter enough. I tell myself to let go and just do the best I can with the situation.

I’m not sure about doing it daily, that sounds like too much (for me). But overall I agree that this is one of the most powerful tools to reframe my mind from negative to positive. It’s also the most powerful tool I know to help me make better life (long term) decisions.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Antifragile]

Just focus on being the best in your field - don't worry about marketing or self promotion.

LOL, I used to believe this (firmly) back in college. It is so wrong!

This is excellent! I still struggle with this. I don't seek out spotlight and am always worried about self promotion turning into "bragging". But marketing is a must for any business (and person).

I'll tag a few more people that I think will have something to share on this topic: @Andy Black @SteveO - curious about what expectations you've let go when you were younger? What expectations were slowing you down until you've changed the way you think? How about @Kak, @thechosen1 and @MitchC ?

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Crafty]

You can control what other people think of you. Nope. You can control how you react to people, you can even set rules on how people treat you but you cannot control how they think. Let it go. People will judge, love, hate, envy, admire you - all of that and none of that is in your control. You can only control what you do.

Wow, this is great. I’ve been trying to stop caring about what other people think about me for some time. I can’t control their thoughts, so idk why I care so much. It’s pretty bad tbh.

For example, today, I didn’t even want to create a business account on Facebook for advertising cuz I kept thinking, “what if my friends see this.” I seem to do stuff like this all the time(sometimes without even noticing)

I really don’t know why but I feel like it could stem from some fear of failure/rejection. I think I subconsciously think that if I told them what I was doing and it didn’t work out, they would look at me differently.

I also was a quiet person growing up but I’ve made a ton of progress in that area in the last 7-8 years and recently joined toastmasters to help with my public speaking. I definitely need to work on not caring what other people think though. Looking at it this way will help, so thank you for this!

 

[Guest-5ty5s4]

My expectations were very limited when I was young. All I wanted was to make a few bucks to support the family.

There was not a lot of hope in the younger years. We were poor. The school I went to had a lot of people with money. I always thought I was scum and inferior to others. Sports helped change that though. I was a top runner in the state which gave me confidence. But I could not afford to attend the events that others could get to.

I was in my mid thirty's when I came around to the feeling that I was as good as anyone else.

Now I don't even care about that. I look at a day laborer as an equal.

Nobody is better than anyone else.

I feel the same way intrinsically - nobody is inherently better than anyone else - but I do feel that people can be better by their attitudes, sometimes. You are a lot wiser.

Maybe I'll grow out of that

 

[Antifragile]

Culture has changed. Owning an exotic used to garner some respect and admiration, now they attract more disrespect, hatred, jealousy, and envy.

In our industry (RE), commercial brokers all try to impress clients by driving super cars. It is meant to demonstrate success, admiration etc. The way you describe it from what you had witnessed some years ago.

Ironically, it works on the wrong people. As a client, I am not impressed. I know that 9/10 of those guys leased their cars to impress me. The harder someone tries to impress me, the less impressed I am. But the people who do get impressed are other young brokers, who want to be like the senior guys. They admire them and work hard. Yet they are competition! So you end up with this ridiculous bad financial decision after another cycle for those guys (very few females in those jobs).

I may be wrong, but just like Realtors who think a fancy car will get them new business, commercial brokers are misguided.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Guest-5ty5s4]

ya know, I have interacted with, replied to, and liked posts by @biophase sooo many times and I don't think he has ever liked or replied back once, ever.

 

[Antifragile]

ya know, I have interacted with, replied to, and liked posts by @biophase sooo many times and I don't think he has ever liked or replied back once, ever.

I liked your post to make you feel better. Pity like. But still counts, right?

 

[AnneC]

ya know, I have interacted with, replied to, and liked posts by @biophase sooo many times and I don't think he has ever liked or replied back once, ever.

You have a higher probability of @biophase responding if you have a female forum name and your profile photo is of a cute blonde girl.

 

[Andy Black]

**On Creativity. **​

Being creative isn't some luxury that's only available when you've hit your "exit $ number" and can now afford to do it. It's just as natural for humans as walking, eating or thinking. It's what made our species survive!

A typical new member starts a thread on this forum along the lines of "I've read the book, want to quit my job, have a few months of savings. What should I do next 30 days to generate $X because I don't want to be slow lane anymore." Typical, boring and "me, me, me" type of post. Irony here is an entrepreneur is an inventor, a problem solver - a creative human being.

To live like the 1% you can't behave like 99%.

How to become more creative?

• Learn to do things without judgment, similar to how in mediation you observe your thoughts and feelings.
• Stop trying to navigate the forest in pitch black night. Your desire to make changes to your life comes when you are most consumed by emotion, but that's the worst time to do so. Do not make decisions when you are upset or riding a high. Let yourself come back down to neutral first. Then think. Think on a piece of paper.
• Ask yourself better questions. Are you wanting to have better things before becoming a better you? Maybe it's time to change your objectives.

Add to the list folks! What makes you more creative?

I wrote this a week or so ago:

Things I think about (in no particular order):

1) Is it really true? (e.g. Do we really NEED a website?)

2) Has someone somewhere done it without X?

3) What would we do if we weren’t allowed X? (e.g. How would you get new business without a website?)

4) Start as close to the end as possible.

5) Dump it, defer it, delegate it, do it. (The most important is dumping it.)

6) Is this something you can’t NOT do?

7) What would Richard Branson do?

8) What’s The ONE Thing that if completed would make everything else redundant or easier to do?

 

[Antifragile]

# On following your passion

It is not about following your passion, it's about following purpose passionately.

• **Passion is an emotion. ** Making decisions based solely on such emotion means choosing something that give you the biggest high. When pressed to choose between "I'd like to recharge batteries and rest this evening" VS "I want to work on my skills to achieve my financial goals sooner" - emotion and logic are at odds.
• **Passion is based on who you are today**, it is based on what you you think you know would give you that high. But if you think something will give you a high, it's familiar, meaning it is not new and unknown. Logic allows you to build up yourself into the person you want to become. Yet it is uncharted territory and as such, you'll often find that you don't know where you're going.
• Passion is wanting your wildest dreams, but logic is about your max potential. Ironically, it's the latter that leads to wild dream like outcomes.
• Passion attaches you to a feeling or an idea. It's wanting to keep getting that "high" no matter what. It is also unrealistic because it is not possible to always replicate those highs. Even if you love what you do, you'll have bad days. Even the person of your dreams will have fights etc.
• Passion is chasing one emotion after another, it's irrational, painful and ignores reality. Those thoughts of lacking something then construct your emotional state. There is no gratitude in it. There is no abundance without gratitude.

So you want it bad enough, doesn't mean you'll get it. It's typical of self-help gurus to promote "just want it bad enough". But the rewards in life go to people who are best qualified, who have a real advantage - not who want it bad enough. "Being passionate" isn't a qualifying factor when selling a product on Amazon, having the best product is.

Passion is the easy, comfortable way out. It is believing your emotions rather than questioning their origins.

To achieve your maximum potential, do the work. Nose to the grindstone hard work. Confidence will build from what you do. Positive mindset is rooted in action, not thinking about passion. And in the end, you may even become passionate about things you do.

QUESTION:
Do you agree?

I expect not everyone will agree. Warren Buffet says "In the world of business, the people who are most successful are those who are doing what they love." Warren Buffett Says Doing Your Job This Way Is What Separates Successful People From Everyone Else

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[SoniaG]

"Damn, I'm really running into a lot of receptionists, what are some good ways or techniques to win them to my side and get in touch with decision makers, reliably?
If I can do just that, I'll be swimming in sales calls."

Something that can be effective: tell them upfront that you know they are the gatekeepers - commiseration with their situation can help.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[biophase]

Also the value and utility received from the driving experience is limited to a few hours per week. The net expense, in terms of time and money, is simply a lot to bear for so little return. On the flip side, spending a lot of money on a great house with every amenity I could possible want, and then some, has great utility. I am here and "use it" 22-24 hours a day. A Lamborghini? Even in Arizona, I drove that a few hours per week, and it came coupled with drama.

Ironically I mention in a thread on the inside about not understanding art. I don’t see the difference between a $500 and $5000 piece.

On the other hand, I see certain cars as beautiful works of art. I like to look at them more than driving them. I can’t pay for a work of art to have it sit in a dark garage. If I had a huge garage that was merged into my living room, I would have a couple super cars.

 

[fastlane_dad]

With the supercar, it’s not that I don’t want one at all. It’s just that I don’t enjoy driving them anymore. So is it conspicuous consumption if I buy another one? It just feels like a waste to get one and have it sit in a garage. I like to get use out of the things I buy.

Supercars just complicate your life. It’s not just buying the car, it’s the registration , the insurance, the maintenance, the driving around and hoping it doesn’t get dinged. And it’s not the money cost, it’s the time suck.

I also think that as we get older, we aren’t competing or comparing our things to other people or friends. We are existing in our own world rather than someone else’s world view. Honestly, you just have nothing to prove to anyone.

Culture has changed. Owning an exotic used to garner some respect and admiration, now they attract more disrespect, hatred, jealousy, and envy. I also associate them with scammy gurus and people who generally can't afford them. At the tail end of my Lambo ownership I rarely drove it except when I knew it was a low-drama time frame, like Sunday morning, or Monday night to a softball game. Cruise on Friday night? Hell no. Clubbing on Saturday? Ill pass.

Also the value and utility received from the driving experience is limited to a few hours per week. The net expense, in terms of time and money, is simply a lot bear for so little return. On the flip side, spending a lot of money on a great house with every amenity I could possible want, and then some, has great utility. I am here and "use it" 22-24 hours a day. A Lamborghini? Even in Arizona, I drove that a few hours per week, and it came coupled with drama.

Great points guys and I don't disagree with any of them. Since getting the Lambos / Ferraris out of my system I'm not as gung - ho about owning them anymore (and having children steal a lot of your time). I still love what they (mostly) represent and are an inspiration token for many aspiring entrepreneurs.

The utility of one is very limited, and say completely inverse to what a truck accomplishes (and that's precisely what makes them 'exotic')! If not careful, they do depreciate, require storage, upkeep and delicate TLC with every interaction.

But I must also add that it all also depends on how you use the car and what you get out of it. Arizona today sports a HUGE car culture, with events upon events - to meet and connect with others.

I met tons of my current friends through the car world and the passion we share. Would I still have met these people owning a toyota camry and just hanging around forums/events? Maybe / maybe not ... so it just all depends on how much value you can attribute to your life beyond what the face value is of just owning one or having it sit in your garage.

It is true that the exotic market is over saturated , and it does not mean the same thing anymore as it did 15-20 years back when one was a rare sight on the roads.

I still love all of them though, and not only were cars motivation to help 'succeed' in the fastlane, but some days I still wake up 'yearning' for another one to try .... because 'why not'. With age I have also desired to actually 'drive' them less and less, but I do appreciate the art aspect of them tremendously.

I never bought to impress, get 'chicks', to show off or to pull up to any sort of clubs or valets. I love great machines almost like it's part of my DNA that just won't leave my body!

There is certainly nothing 'wrong' with owning one, and if played right can remain and/or increase in value and do not have to be a total money drain. For me the biggest cost of toys (any toys really) as I get older with increasing net worth, is the toll on my time.

I certainly do understand though the passion behind it, and the drive to succeed past a slowlane existence, to get your butt into one. Prices in (2022) have been outrageous on all toys in demand, so it will only require that much more work, perseverance, sacrifice and all else that makes the 'fastlane' work - but hey, isn't that the point? By the time I got into my first Lambo, my net worth and annual income was many times over what the car costed.

I'm very happy that cars were the passion and carrot to kick my butt in gear when I was young. I never was (and still not) motivated by 'utility' - I can only eat so much food and need so much physical space to be on a computer (actually I've always been happier with having 'less' in that regard). If not for a growing family give me a great two bedroom condo and we're all set

 

[biophase]

This is interesting. For all the new and aspiring entrepreneurs on the forum, take notice. Here are two guys who have made it. They have the net worth. They owned super cars and yet their enjoyment came from totally different places. Let's dive in...
1. @biophase sees the cars as beautiful. He enjoyed his exotics because they gave him joy.
2. @fastlane_dad likes the cars but it's not even about the cars. Its people first - super cars are just a thing in common, a passion. The real joy comes from people and community.



I am guilty of spending ludicrous amounts on my bikes, so I understand. During one race I came up to Calvin Macdonald (CEO of Lululemon, but I didn't know him at that time time, so he was just a Calvin to me) and complimented him on his taste in bikes. We had the same bike, so he laughed and we connected. We spent the next 2+ hours racing together (endurance events are like that, long!). It was a way to connect, to share our passions the way @fastlane_dad did with cars. The joy from buying one of the most expensive bikes in the world wasn't material.

And here we have @biophase enjoying the bike for what it has to offer, it's riding ability (totally opposite from his joy from the beauty of exotic cars), he's not staring at the bike like a work of art.

See, it doesn't matter your reasons but the common thread is this: both of these guys derived joy from such purchases. That's what it is all about. Not a short term boost of dopamine or an "ego boost". Nothing of the sort, instead a lasting joy from beauty to community. Fascinating, isn't it? I can certainly relate to both.

Thanks for sharing.

Yup you nailed it with me. The engineering within a car or bike are both amazing. But one I just look at and the other I use.

I could care less about the Brembo brakes and cross drilled rotors on a Ferrari. But on a mountain bike, I’ll pay more to get bigger brake rotors so they don’t fade on me.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MJ DeMarco]

On the other hand, I see certain cars as beautiful works of art. I like to look at them more than driving them. I can’t pay for a work of art to have it sit in a dark garage. If I had a huge garage that was merged into my living room, I would have a couple super cars.

Agree on this as a piece of art work. I would do this as well, I would love to have a beautiful exotic car sitting in the middle of my living room, under the lights, and shined to perfection. I don't view this the same as an exotic car garage where you display 10 vehicles, like a lot of HNW collectors do.

 

[biophase]

I’m just trolling you man. Yeah it is weird right? NOLA is such a cool place though!

Lol sorry, just a joke

But really, I noticed about a year ago that I hardly ever like any posts on here!

 

[Antifragile]

Not sure if you’re being sarcastic. But I do realize my post wasn’t clear. I meant that I rarely click the like button on posts that I read here.

Yes I was. Hoping a little light humour would get you to tap that “like” on my post, alas… no such luck.

 

[Antifragile]

OMG, you literally quoted my favorite part of the book! When he decides to prioritize talking to his kid over potentially missing a flight, that’s a paradigm shift. It’s a reminder for me as a parent. He lost his son to gain that perspective, but we don’t have to. We can learn from Rickson directly.

This hit me hard. I loved it and promised myself to act this way with my kid. And I will.

 

[ErikGH]

Here are notes on things that aren't obvious but will change the way you think about life. An eclectic collection.​

• Your habits are what drives your mood, and mood is a filter through which you experience life. Happiness is not some fantom state of joy, it is how your mood filters experiences of life.
• The past is not some unchangeable reality, like a video recording. Your perception of the past changes as you change, and so do your memories. The past you recall is not the same as how you will perceive those same events in the future.
• You don't even know what will make you happy. We act and make plans (like buying a Lambo) but those are a mere reflection of the best version of the past or now. We have no idea what other available outcomes are in the future. We can't picture things that do not yet exist. And since we can't predict the future outcome of our actions, we can only focus on now. Don't settle on the best version of the past, the future can be even better.
• Is fear a sign you are on the wrong path? No, quite the opposite. This hits close to home for all entrepreneurs. Fear tells you that you are on the right path because you are moving towards something you want and like. The sign for being on a bad path is indifference. Next time you are fearful, remember you are moving towards something you like.
• Your thoughts may actually not be your own. Social conditioning can make us believe things that weren't our thoughts or beliefs in the first place. Examine your beliefs and reflect on their origin, then decide.
• No emotion is permanent, your anger, happiness, joy - all of it. I hope you've developed enough awareness just by being alive to know that even worst things that happened, will pass. Remember this quote: "this too shall pass".

What can you add to this thread? What surprising mind twist did you learn?

I learned that my outside world was just a reflection of my inside world. I kept looking for happiness and fulfillment somewhere "Out There". When I started doing more inner work everything changed.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[hungqpham]

Here are notes on things that aren't obvious but will change the way you think about life. An eclectic collection.​

• Your habits are what drives your mood, and mood is a filter through which you experience life. Happiness is not some fantom state of joy, it is how your mood filters experiences of life.
• The past is not some unchangeable reality, like a video recording. Your perception of the past changes as you change, and so do your memories. The past you recall is not the same as how you will perceive those same events in the future.
• You don't even know what will make you happy. We act and make plans (like buying a Lambo) but those are a mere reflection of the best version of the past or now. We have no idea what other available outcomes are in the future. We can't picture things that do not yet exist. And since we can't predict the future outcome of our actions, we can only focus on now. Don't settle on the best version of the past, the future can be even better.
• Is fear a sign you are on the wrong path? No, quite the opposite. This hits close to home for all entrepreneurs. Fear tells you that you are on the right path because you are moving towards something you want and like. The sign for being on a bad path is indifference. Next time you are fearful, remember you are moving towards something you like.
• Your thoughts may actually not be your own. Social conditioning can make us believe things that weren't our thoughts or beliefs in the first place. Examine your beliefs and reflect on their origin, then decide.
• No emotion is permanent, your anger, happiness, joy - all of it. I hope you've developed enough awareness just by being alive to know that even worst things that happened, will pass. Remember this quote: "this too shall pass".

What can you add to this thread? What surprising mind twist did you learn?

As someone who often lives in the past, I highly appreciate this "Your perception of the past changes as you change, and so do your memories". It gives me back some control of the past, the present, and the future. Thanks for sharing.

 

[wyattnorton]

One of the larger takeaways I found since working with clients, business partners, and employees:

You don't have to take anything personally.

I remember when I was first starting to be mentored by my business partner, I took everything he said personally. If I f*cked up or forgot something, I felt that his words were personal. They are not.

The things he said to me were his perception of the situation (i.e. forgetting to bring materials/tools to a job we were working on). He would say things like I f*cked up or make personal comments about me and my abilities/commitment.

But deep down I know that when he does the same, he is harder on himself about it and also he is saying it because it is something that I need to hear.

Most people cannot bear to have others put them in line or in check, so they run and hide or don't tell people about things that need attention.

Every time I tried to hide or not tell somebody something, it comes back to bite me in the a$$. The main thing is to admit your mess ups or rip the band aid off, take the tongue-lashing, then move on and learn.

Reflect on it later, but don't dig in deep every single time to tear yourself apart.

 

[DavidePaco00]

I'm reading and reading and re-reading again and I think this thread came at the right time in my life.

My problem with EVERYTHING is that I commit myself to something for like 3-4 months really hard and then something inside me vanishes, I feel like that I am not good enough or bullshit like this and throw the towel.

An example is Kick Boxing, I trained myself 5 days a week after work or at lunchtime, and after 4 months the building closed for the covid. Instead of replacing this habit, I quit because "the gym closed".

NOT THIS TIME. David Goggins speaks good wisdom about discipline; I am on the pathway to improving mine.

When I have no willingness to go working out, I go even faster to the gym because the discomfort will help me for making the habit and sharpen my discipline.

Now I want to apply that to my business, and my life in general. Don't quit.

I know the feeling perfectly.

You need to focus on consistency rather than intensity.

If You know that by devoting 100 % of Your energy to something You're going to finish it early start by to doing less everyday , but do it constantly. Don't go balls to the wall because You'll eventually reach a plateau, and You'e not going to progress anaymore because You gave it all in the beginning.

Build Your discipline, because in the end, it's what is going to keep You on track. Discipline and momentum are gong to By the way, please, on't make excuses. If You really want to show that You follow our advice, return to the kickboxing gym. Nobody's going to judge You if You were absent for a few moths.

Start by joining kickboxing again. Show us that You can do this, before starting any another project. Othewise It would have been better if I'd kept my mouth shutted.


Cheers

Davide

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[DavidePaco00]

I'm reading and reading and re-reading again and I think this thread came at the right time in my life.

My problem with EVERYTHING is that I commit myself to something for like 3-4 months really hard and then something inside me vanishes, I feel like that I am not good enough or bullshit like this and throw the towel.

An example is Kick Boxing, I trained myself 5 days a week after work or at lunchtime, and after 4 months the building closed for the covid. Instead of replacing this habit, I quit because "the gym closed".

NOT THIS TIME. David Goggins speaks good wisdom about discipline; I am on the pathway to improving mine.

When I have no willingness to go working out, I go even faster to the gym because the discomfort will help me for making the habit and sharpen my discipline.

Now I want to apply that to my business, and my life in general. Don't quit.

Also, You need to relize that anything worth pursuing is going to take time, so it is better that You start planning long term about Your goals. This is where small effort everyday becomes essential.