**This thread will change the way you think.**

[Damien Boss]

Imagine the reverse. That means you are moving towards something you don't like. But if that's the case, you'd be indifferent and not care one bit. It wouldn't matter if were successful or a failure in that area, because you didn't like or care about it. Take a job interview as an example. If you really want the job, you'll have some fear. It's only natural. But if you are an entrepreneur who doesn't need or want a job and for shits and giggles decided to take an interview - you'd be indifferent. You'd have zero fear.

Hope this helps

Oh, ok. I get it better now. thanks

 

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[Antifragile]

Can you clarify what you mean by “expectations” when we were younger?

Hmm... I can't seem to think of another word for it. But think of it like this:
- what did you expect to be one way, but it turns out it was not that way at all?
Steven Covey called it "paradigm shifts" in his 7 Habits book.

 

[No.1]

What can you add to this thread? What surprising mind twist did you learn?

A very old friend once told me:

You're not your past, you're what you do with it.

 

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[Antifragile]

Are you doing all you can do?
What is in the way of major progress?
What are the most important one time and continuous activities?

@Boogie

Curious, how do you typically answer these questions? They are a lot harder than they seem at first glance!

1. Mind over Matter - If you don't mind, it nah matter
2. If you find your self getting 'angry' or 'jealous' or having 'hateful' thoughts. Check your EGO!! Is your EGO hurt?? Chances are, you have expectations of other/situations and when things don't meet your needs, anger flares. Learn to control your emotional response, live life fluidly without expecting others to be, do as YOU expect and you will find your self living a stress free life

This is great - if you don't mind...

Ego is such an important beast to stop feeding! Always gets in the way of progress.

If you are comfortable, you're not growing - get out there and chop some wood, you wanna be 'antifragile'

Ha. Thanks - everyone want's to be Antifragile.

If your cell phone is within arms reach 24/7 ... better sign up 4 dat AA class coz you have an addiction or an unhealthy relationship with your phone

OK, you got me. So let me ask you this - do you live by this rule or not? Are you addicted to your digital devices?
Worse yet, I typically track my sleep too!

we aren’t competing or comparing our things to other people or friends. We are existing in our own world rather than someone else’s world view. Honestly, you just have nothing to prove to anyone.

This is powerful. Quiet confidence can only exist when you are no longer changing yourself to conform to some else's expectations. You aren't trying to impress. The irony is that this is when we (as people) are most impressive in life. It is a sign of real maturity.

 

[biophase]

But I must also add that it all also depends on how you use the car and what you get out of it. Arizona today sports a HUGE car culture, with events upon events - to meet and connect with others.

I used to go to those events. But honestly I never had much in common with the people there. I had no idea how many hp my car had it which options. Plus when they wanted to go for a drive, it just wasn’t for me.

Funny thing is that the culture is prevalent in any niche. Substitute cars for any other hobby. Last summer, I was riding another forum member’s insanely expensive $12,000 mountain bike and was at the lift line. I heard a couple guys talking about how nice the bike was and the components on the bike. They asked me some question about the shock and I just said, I have no idea.

 

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[Fiza Hanif]

1. What and who is worth suffering for?
2. What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
3. Based on your daily habits, where will you be in 5-10-20 years?
4. What one thing, that if you started to do today would have the greatest impact on your life in 6 months?
5. What one thing that if you stopped doing today would have the greatest impact on your life in a week?
6. If you did not have to work to make a living anymore (business owners included), what would you do every day?
7. Who do you admire (past or present)?
8. What unreasonable and unrealistic dream do you have about your life? (Wouldn't it be nice if... )
9. If you were to touch every item you own with your hand, how many give you joy when you do? And why do you keep the rest?
10. What are your greatest accomplishments so far?

Great questions!

 

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[biophase]

Agree on this as a piece of art work. I would do this as well, I would love to have a beautiful exotic car sitting in the middle of my living room, under the lights, and shined to perfection. I don't view this the same as an exotic car garage where you display 10 vehicles, like a lot of HNW collectors do.

New house goals!

 

[Guest-5ty5s4]

Agree on this as a piece of art work. I would do this as well, I would love to have a beautiful exotic car sitting in the middle of my living room, under the lights, and shined to perfection. I don't view this the same as an exotic car garage where you display 10 vehicles, like a lot of HNW collectors do.

New house goals!

There's a bar in NOLA I went to with my buddies for my friend's bachelor party where they had these two cars displayed this way.

 

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[Guest-5ty5s4]

I liked your post to make you feel better. Pity like. But still counts, right?

Yes. You’re so kind.

 

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[biophase]

ya know, I have interacted with, replied to, and liked posts by @biophase sooo many times and I don't think he has ever liked or replied back once, ever.

I'm pretty sure I've replied to your posts in the past.

I actually had to go look to see which post you replied to on this thread. Many times scroll through and just read the posts and don't even look at who wrote it. I was going to reply to your pic about the cars, but I was going to search online to find a living room example first. The pic you post I thought was weird that you would put 2 cars in a bar like that? Kind of defeats the purpose of showcasing a car when there's another one stacked one foot above it!

The liking part I need to do more. I noticed that I hardly like any posts I read. My like to post ratio is probably really sad. Is there anyway to see how many likes you've given in your account?

 

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[Guest-5ty5s4]

I'm pretty sure I've replied to your posts in the past.

I actually had to go look to see which post you replied to on this thread. Many times scroll through and just read the posts and don't even look at who wrote it. I was going to reply to your pic about the cars, but I was going to search online to find a living room example first. The pic you post I thought was weird that you would put 2 cars in a bar like that? Kind of defeats the purpose of showcasing a car when there's another one stacked one foot above it!

The liking part I need to do more. I noticed that I hardly like any posts I read. My like to post ratio is probably really sad. Is there anyway to see how many likes you've given in your account?

I’m just trolling you man. Yeah it is weird right? NOLA is such a cool place though!

Lol sorry, just a joke

 

[biophase]

If you don’t like 99.9% of all posts here, why are you still here?

Not sure if you’re being sarcastic. But I do realize my post wasn’t clear. I meant that I rarely click the like button on posts that I read here.

 

[Vinz]

You will never regret creating something, or taking action.

Something I want to keep in mind myself.

 

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[MTF]

Thanks for tagging me, @Antifragile. I'm glad to hear I could inspire your thoughts.

Life is transitory and that's why there is no such thing as true security. Things we own can be lost (money, jobs, assets). Our bodies can get ill. Nothing is truly "secure". It is an uncomfortable truth and you should accept it.

This may sound like an exaggeration but I truly think that 99% of people just don't accept that they're going to die. Meditating on this truth daily is one of the most powerful exercises to internalize the fact that life never offers true security. By definition, as Jocko recently tweeted, all options lead to death.

 

[Issi007]

Here are notes on things that aren't obvious but will change the way you think about life. An eclectic collection.​

• Your habits are what drives your mood, and mood is a filter through which you experience life. Happiness is not some fantom state of joy, it is how your mood filters experiences of life.
• The past is not some unchangeable reality, like a video recording. Your perception of the past changes as you change, and so do your memories. The past you recall is not the same as how you will perceive those same events in the future.
• You don't even know what will make you happy. We act and make plans (like buying a Lambo) but those are a mere reflection of the best version of the past or now. We have no idea what other available outcomes are in the future. We can't picture things that do not yet exist. And since we can't predict the future outcome of our actions, we can only focus on now. Don't settle on the best version of the past, the future can be even better.
• Is fear a sign you are on the wrong path? No, quite the opposite. This hits close to home for all entrepreneurs. Fear tells you that you are on the right path because you are moving towards something you want and like. The sign for being on a bad path is indifference. Next time you are fearful, remember you are moving towards something you like.
• Your thoughts may actually not be your own. Social conditioning can make us believe things that weren't our thoughts or beliefs in the first place. Examine your beliefs and reflect on their origin, then decide.
• No emotion is permanent, your anger, happiness, joy - all of it. I hope you've developed enough awareness just by being alive to know that even worst things that happened, will pass. Remember this quote: "this too shall pass".

What can you add to this thread? What surprising mind twist did you learn?

Great thread, full of insights!
Indeed, the emotion of fear (boredom as well) makes the right path uncomfortable to follow but eventually become comfy later on.

Thank you for sharing !

 

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[Ronnie Bryan]

Emotional Intelligence - rules for life:​

• Do not speak in definitive terms about people, politics or ideas. The idea may be wrong to you, but it exists because it is right to someone else.
• Focus on communicating something, not just saying things to elicit validation or approval. Speak calmly, simply and mindfully.
• Listen to hear, not to respond.
• The world does not revolve around you. Disassociate words you hear from judgement against you. Listen to someone without worrying that what is being said is a slight against you. Try to understand the other person's perspective.
• If you genuinely dislike something, you'd disengage from it. Your interest in a topic means you are not indifferent.
• Don't post anything online that you wouldn't want to show your parent or explain to your child.

Can someone add some Jordan Peterson wisdom? He had two books on rule for life!

Love this This year I have accomplished all of the above. Even if I have not do not let my brain know this=)

 

[DavidePaco00]

Here are notes on things that aren't obvious but will change the way you think about life. An eclectic collection.​

• Your habits are what drives your mood, and mood is a filter through which you experience life. Happiness is not some fantom state of joy, it is how your mood filters experiences of life.
• The past is not some unchangeable reality, like a video recording. Your perception of the past changes as you change, and so do your memories. The past you recall is not the same as how you will perceive those same events in the future.
• You don't even know what will make you happy. We act and make plans (like buying a Lambo) but those are a mere reflection of the best version of the past or now. We have no idea what other available outcomes are in the future. We can't picture things that do not yet exist. And since we can't predict the future outcome of our actions, we can only focus on now. Don't settle on the best version of the past, the future can be even better.
• Is fear a sign you are on the wrong path? No, quite the opposite. This hits close to home for all entrepreneurs. Fear tells you that you are on the right path because you are moving towards something you want and like. The sign for being on a bad path is indifference. Next time you are fearful, remember you are moving towards something you like.
• Your thoughts may actually not be your own. Social conditioning can make us believe things that weren't our thoughts or beliefs in the first place. Examine your beliefs and reflect on their origin, then decide.
• No emotion is permanent, your anger, happiness, joy - all of it. I hope you've developed enough awareness just by being alive to know that even worst things that happened, will pass. Remember this quote: "this too shall pass".

What can you add to this thread? What surprising mind twist did you learn?

Attachment to things and life in itself is the route of our suffering. To be free and let our life flow, we need to accept that this human experience is just a moment of passage before the energy that generates us flows to other forms.

" Who are You ? " really means " Who do You think You are?"

I know it sounds too much spiritual or phylosophical. But when You deeply accept that You're going to die, You just don't have anything to lose anymore. Ego death is truly a liberating feeling, because You realize how in reality we're all the same thing, and our values are just different ways to interpret reality.

I'll stop here because otherwse I'd go off topic and I'll give You an headache, but I invite everyone who reads this to reflect on this, and finding their own answers.

Cheers

Davide

 

[pappaishere]

This thread is full of wisdom.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

 

[pappaishere]

I'm reading and reading and re-reading again and I think this thread came at the right time in my life.

My problem with EVERYTHING is that I commit myself to something for like 3-4 months really hard and then something inside me vanishes, I feel like that I am not good enough or bullshit like this and throw the towel.

An example is Kick Boxing, I trained myself 5 days a week after work or at lunchtime, and after 4 months the building closed for the covid. Instead of replacing this habit, I quit because "the gym closed".

NOT THIS TIME. David Goggins speaks good wisdom about discipline; I am on the pathway to improving mine.

When I have no willingness to go working out, I go even faster to the gym because the discomfort will help me for making the habit and sharpen my discipline.

Now I want to apply that to my business, and my life in general. Don't quit.

 

[pappaishere]

I know the feeling perfectly.

You need to focus on consistency rather than intensity.

If You know that by devoting 100 % of Your energy to something You're going to finish it early start by to doing less everyday , but do it constantly. Don't go balls to the wall because You'll eventually reach a plateau, and You'e not going to progress anaymore because You gave it all in the beginning.

Build Your discipline, because in the end, it's what is going to keep You on track. Discipline and momentum are gong to By the way, please, on't make excuses. If You really want to show that You follow our advice, return to the kickboxing gym. Nobody's going to judge You if You were absent for a few moths.

Start by joining kickboxing again. Show us that You can do this, before starting any another project. Othewise It would have been better if I'd kept my mouth shutted.

Yep, that's exactly what I will build in my life, consistent rather than intensity.

I'm following the advice of my PT, that said that is 100x better to go to the gym 1 year 3 times per week rather than 3 months every day.

And for replying to the return to the kick-boxing gym is not possible yet, I lived for 24 years in Italy and this year I F*cked off everything and took a flight to Australia.

I am currently in a remote area to extend my visa and there is barely a gym here, so I hired a Personal Trainer (under the advice of my friend) and start calisthenic.

Why calisthenic and not the classic lifting weight?

For a long-term vision; I will return back to kick-boxing in the next few years but now I can't, there isn't a gym for that here (I'm living in a small town of 3,000 residents lol) so I opted to focus and work out on something that makes me stretched and shredded.

Anyway, I am here to improve myself, my English (Grammarly extension on Google Chrome makes miracles lol) and conquer myself.

I chose on purpose this city and this country.

 

[DavidePaco00]

Yep, that's exactly what I will build in my life, consistent rather than intensity.

I'm following the advice of my PT, that said that is 100x better to go to the gym 1 year 3 times per week rather than 3 months every day.

And for replying to the return to the kick-boxing gym is not possible yet, I lived for 24 years in Italy and this year I F*cked off everything and took a flight to Australia.

I am currently in a remote area to extend my visa and there is barely a gym here, so I hired a Personal Trainer (under the advice of my friend) and start calisthenic.

Why calisthenic and not the classic lifting weight?

For a long-term vision; I will return back to kick-boxing in the next few years but now I can't, there isn't a gym for that here (I'm living in a small town of 3,000 residents lol) so I opted to focus and work out on something that makes me stretched and shredded.

Anyway, I am here to improve myself, my English (Grammarly extension on Google Chrome makes miracles lol) and conquer myself.

I chose on purpose this city and this country.

Dimmelo prima che sei italiano ! hahahhaha

Di dove sei?


( For anyone wondering, I've discovered that he's italian)

 

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[Saad Khan]

This thread deserves to be re-read 10 times

 

[Damien Boss]

Fear tells you that you are on the right path because you are moving towards something you want and like.​

Please, could you explain this ? I don't understand why fear should mean I like what I'm going towards.

 

[Andy Black]

@Andy Black @SteveO - curious about what expectations you've let go when you were younger?

Can you clarify what you mean by “expectations” when we were younger?

 

[farouqali]

The world does not revolve around you. Disassociate words you hear from judgement against you. Listen to someone without worrying that what is being said is a slight against you. Try to understand the other person's perspective.

this is insightful, i read it somewhere , i cant place it but it work's so much for me....Listen to understand, don't judge, never put your emotions either. But if it makes sense "Embrace it.

 

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[Antifragile]

Conspicuous and inconspicuous consumption follow different psychological rules. Conspicuous consumption is a zero-sum game. Conspicuous consumption are things that other people can see. Inconspicuous consumption is just for you, but not really quantifiable.

I've been pondering this. As is typical with people who came from no money into some wealth, I've indulged in conspicuous consumption. You (and many others here) have also done that, with super cars as an example.

Now that you are a bit older, have gotten used to your level of wealth and the fact that you can afford luxury. How have you changed in your behaviour? I know @MJ DeMarco got rid of his Lamborghini and is now driving a Ford Raptor (still luxury but more useful, pragmatic vehicle). And how has your level of happiness been affected by these changes?

 

[fastlane_dad]

I used to go to those events. But honestly I never had much in common with the people there. I had no idea how many hp my car had it which options. Plus when they wanted to go for a drive, it just wasn’t for me.

Funny thing is that the culture is prevalent in any niche. Substitute cars for any other hobby. Last summer, I was riding another forum member’s insanely expensive $12,000 mountain bike and was at the lift line. I heard a couple guys talking about how nice the bike was and the components on the bike. They asked me some question about the shock and I just said, I have no idea.

Spot on - there are countless niches , passions and groups with which 'community' is created.

The crazy part is MANY times, entrepreneur fastlane riches are hidden within these communities to either support, service or sell products to the crowd. Whatever the products or services may be - I know I've paid ridiculous sums of money to sometimes try the latest 'quick spray on wax' or take it to the best detailer in town, etc.

 

[Fiza Hanif]

You don't change your personality, opinions or even clothes based on whom you're meeting that day. That's a sign of maturity.

Good one

 

[Fiza Hanif]

Add to the list folks! What makes you more creative?

Neutral observation. External or internal...

 

[Antifragile]

If you are so smart, why aren't you happy?