My dad is an entrepreneur, but wants me to go slowlane

[Hai]

My dad build his own business over the course of 20 years now. He started small at flea markets, went on with a local store and now is a wholesaler. I know he made many mistakes, but he also learned a lot of valuable things. He drives to neighbor countries regualrly to import goods.


BUT

he also knows, that going oversees to import would mean to sacrificing family time. He works very hard, but in my opinion I also know, that his business is not scalable, because it is very restricted to a local base. This year, he went into the negative.
I have graduated recently and now attempting to build a business. He says, he wants to give me 1 year to learn, but wants me to get a 9-5 job, ideally.
In his opinion, going to university is the pinnacle of education. Getting experience from companies is also the best way to learn about the industry, in his opinion.
But I want to build a business now. I know, working laboriously for my boss wouldn´t make me happy, even though I would gain a little experience and money. I´m reading tons of things now and also learned a lot about marketing etc. already. I´m changing daily habits, and build everything around becoming an entrepreneur.
But again, my dad´s opinion is, that building an own business is too risky. He didn´t get a proper education and he thinks getting a former education and going slowlane is the safest and best way to build wealth, stepping up the corporate ladder slowly and building his carreer.
I don´t think he would ever approve an importing business. He suffers back pain from years of carrying huge packages.
His business is declining now, our family hardly earns anything.

What is your opinion on this? It is just a strange case, that I wanted to share with you guys.

 

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[DeletedUser396]

You're on The Fastlane Forum.
You already know the answer.
You're looking for validation.

Are you putting in the work?
Will you?

 

[SteveO]

One thing that is frequently overlooked here is the idea of learning skills on the job. It is easier to start a business of you know something about it.

My construction, mechanical, technical, and management skills come in real handy for my repositioning company.

 

[Formless]

Fastlaners don't ask for approval.

 

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[GIlman]

Take a good look at your dad's business. Would you really characterize it is fastlane?

...Or, has he created a job for himself where he just happens to have no boss above him other than his customers?

I think you already know the answer...you said it yourself

"...his business is not scalable, because it is very restricted to a local base..."

You are describing something that is not fastlane at all. Don't follow your dads footsteps, don't just create a job for yourself...

Ask around, you will find that small business owners often work even harder for the dollars they earn, and often have even less free time and freedom. Why is that? Because you are responsible for the outcome of your business, and it doesn't matter if it's sunday afternoon on easter, each problem stops with you.

You must grasp a different councept, you have to learn to decouple your time from the money you earn. If you double your efforts you should see an exponential growth of your business...the ideal fastlane business is one where the incremental cost to aquire and support an additional customer is as low as possible...and the effort required to do it is low or negligible.

If you double your efforts to double your money...this is not fastlane at all, this is just you working hard...and actually is the exact opposite outcome for what you really desire..

So, really, is your dad against you having a fastlane business...my guess is he is against you recreating his life of self-employment, because he knows how hard he has to work and how much risk he takes everyday...

...I'm willing to bet, that he sees education as a way for you to not create the life he has...because you could get a valuable skill, that someone will pay you for...but you have to decide if that is the life for you or not...because that percieved security comes with significant limitations on your ultimate potential.

One last observation I can share with you...no matter the profession or job, or the income they earn...many people will discourage their kids from following their own path in life...I've personally seen professionals earning $500K - $1M discouraging their own kids from following their career path...

Why is this?

Because they see the risks and problems with their own chosen path, and somehow think if you go down another path you will not be subject to these risks and problems...but they almost always ignore the upside benefits of they have personally had from their own choices...fear of loss is far stronger in most people than the percieved benefit of gain.

...The grass is always greener on the otherside...well, not really, but that's what everyone chooses to believe.

Oh, and fastlane is not a job, it is a mindset...one where you strive to create value for others and recieve the benefits from that value creation...The more people you create that value for the more reward you will recieve.

 

[J. van Driessen]

I worked for a few years for a Big4 company before becoming a freelancer, and I'm now working on my business. The advantage of this approach is that you can get some experience and cash, which will come in handy if you want to start your business.

So my advice is: work on your business and try your best. But know that if it doesn't work out, you can always get a job (for a few years), while working on your business on the side. Build a great business and prove your father wrong.

 

[BellaPippin]

Like @GIlman said before very accurately, he sounds like he created a job for himself. It's a small business in which he is the boss but he's not detached at all from the equation. If you look around this forum, however, you will notice many folks who did make it work and freed their time even more. When your dad started his business, obviously the internet and its benefits weren't around. When years passed, he might have been able to make changes to his system but either decided against, feared the risk (with a family under his care few wouldn't) or maybe he just didn't keep up and didn't know at all and he never got it to scale, or at least automate enough so that he didn't have to work so much.

You, on the other hand, can. You can learn from his mistakes and not repeat them. You can ask for feedback here like the rest and they will point you in the right direction. Getting some experience from a job that teaches you something relevant to your goals is no waste of time if you have to, in the mean time. See it as a bridge job to your goals.

Bottom line though, he may have many wise things to say but he also makes mistakes because he is human, so just be skeptical and do your own homework. If you work hard at it you'll make it your way too and he will be happy. Just go about it in a way that portrays that you have a solid plan in mind.

 

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[Hai]

Thank you everyone for your opinions!

Take a good look at your dad's business. Would you really characterize it is fastlane?

...Or, has he created a job for himself where he just happens to have no boss above him other than his customers?

I think you already know the answer...you said it yourself

"...his business is not scalable, because it is very restricted to a local base..."

You are describing something that is not fastlane at all. Don't follow your dads footsteps, don't just create a job for yourself...

Ask around, you will find that small business owners often work even harder for the dollars they earn, and often have even less free time and freedom. Why is that? Because you are responsible for the outcome of your business, and it doesn't matter if it's sunday afternoon on easter, each problem stops with you.

You must grasp a different councept, you have to learn to decouple your time from the money you earn. If you double your efforts you should see an exponential growth of your business...the ideal fastlane business is one where the incremental cost to aquire and support an additional customer is as low as possible...and the effort required to do it is low or negligible.

........

What you described is exactly what he did. He is very afraid of my endeavours, but also knows that I´m smart, so he trusts me for now.
Thank you for your very thorough insight.
I´m still having a lot of roadblocks, but we´re going there. Thank you a lot, GIlman!


@J.van Driessen: I agree, I know I could learn a lot from a big company, but I also know, that I´m not having a portfolio for that. I would rather work on my business than spent time making a portfolio for a specific client.

@BellaPippin: Well, I dont have a solid plan, but the learning process is very fun so far. Thanks!

 

[Mac]

You know what you want to do, but you're waiting for somebody's permission to go and do it. Trust in your intuition. If you need somebody to give you permission, then I'll give you it. Most people here will give you it. Now you just have to give yourself permission. Trust yourself.

 

[Ubermensch]

My dad build his own business over the course of 20 years now. He started small at flea markets, went on with a local store and now is a wholesaler. I know he made many mistakes, but he also learned a lot of valuable things. He drives to neighbor countries regualrly to import goods.


BUT

he also knows, that going oversees to import would mean to sacrificing family time. He works very hard, but in my opinion I also know, that his business is not scalable, because it is very restricted to a local base. This year, he went into the negative.
I have graduated recently and now attempting to build a business. He says, he wants to give me 1 year to learn, but wants me to get a 9-5 job, ideally.
In his opinion, going to university is the pinnacle of education. Getting experience from companies is also the best way to learn about the industry, in his opinion.
But I want to build a business now. I know, working laboriously for my boss wouldn´t make me happy, even though I would gain a little experience and money. I´m reading tons of things now and also learned a lot about marketing etc. already. I´m changing daily habits, and build everything around becoming an entrepreneur.
But again, my dad´s opinion is, that building an own business is too risky. He didn´t get a proper education and he thinks getting a former education and going slowlane is the safest and best way to build wealth, stepping up the corporate ladder slowly and building his carreer.
I don´t think he would ever approve an importing business. He suffers back pain from years of carrying huge packages.
His business is declining now, our family hardly earns anything.

What is your opinion on this? It is just a strange case, that I wanted to share with you guys.

Neo - above - gives the best advice on what to say to doubting Matrix Agents!

You're on the fast lane. You've swallowed the red pill. Give em' the finger.

As @Potente would say, say: F*ck YOU! I WILL DO WHAT I WANT!

More important than the physical raising of your middle finger is the middle finger you raise in your mind.

Look at my avatar. This is what I did to my parent's doubting in my mind. I haven't talked to either of them in years. I don't miss them.

Listen to the chorus of another Eminem song I bet @Mattie has never heard says in the chorus: Be brainless. Be dangerous. Use your mind as a weapon.

A toxic mindset is a toxic mindset. Even if a person is successful, they can make your thoughts toxic.

People with more money than you now don't have the right to tell you what to do, especially if they're not telling you how to do it!

On the long list of people who's opinions you should ask for and consider when making a decision, your name should appear atop the list, and your parents should be near - or at - the bottom.

Your father's words tacitly express his doubt in your abilities to become successful.

Prove him wrong.

Let me introduce you to a meditation technique taught not even by the likes of Dr. HAHA Lung.

It is a powerful technique, akin to applying anabolic steroids to your mind.

Click on the 3:49 section of the above clip, watch until 3:57.

Repeat this over and over until you get the point.

I haven't talked to my parents in years.

I'm not missing much, except their doubting, skepticism, and incomprehension of the greatness that they created.

 

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[Cmilll6]

Fastlaners don't ask for approval.

BOOM!

 

[Phones]

My dad also has his own business, for more than 20 years now. It's not scalable, he has an hard-time distancing himself (takes 1 or 2 weeks off every year only). It's a job, not a "fastlane business".

He came to me and cried (never ever seen him cry, and we (family) have an hard time expressing feelings) when I was thinking of leaving college, because he was forced to leave to start working (and building the company), no funds from mom and dad. I didn't have the courage to explain him why we are not the same, and I'm happy I didn't do it.

I'm still on college, but only taking some subjects and more because of the social aspect of it (and my tuition is lower than <100€ a month).

He eventually started to understand that I'm not looking for a job, not because I said to him, but because I started showing results, and instead of settling I'm still looking to scale. My mom is always saying stuff like "well, now when you have the time you can do it"(speaking about some boring task of my business, like doing shipping), and I go mad and explain, again and again, that I'm not looking for a job, my job is to scale and manage, not to work on "jobs" someone else can do.

I'm also started saying bold stuff like "I'm going to "retire" by 25", to which they first started laughing at, until eventually they didn't.

And he's right about working in companies being great. Try to open an investment banking boutique, or something related, without prior experience on it (provided you don't have the capital to hire people who can do it for you). There are lots of markets that only open up after you get to peek trough. That's why, if choosing a "slowlane job" it's really important to choose wisely.

PS: While I'm still in college, if your tuition is anywhere above 7-10k per year, and business related, don't do it. College for business is nearly worthless for the knowledge you get, it's the most inefficient way of learning.

 

[Aaron W]

I think a lot of parents don't want to see their children fail due to their natural human nature to protect their offspring. They only want the best for them, to make sure they're comfortable and secure.

My parents are the same when I talk about not getting a 9-5 and they all run their own businesses. They still offer support though and say well done. It's just natural for them to make sure you don't F*ck up, otherwise they will feel the guilt of not raising their child right if you end up financially ruined and not successful: it's painful in their eyes.

Just show your parents your determination and the support should follow.

 

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[Andrew Ward]

Your dad is an entrepreneur but his business has taken eaten away his time his whole life. Though on the surface he may be well off or appear successful it sounds like he is slowlane. If he were fastlane then he wouldn't have this problem or perception.

Come up with a plan that shows to him (and yourself) that you won't replicate this mistake in your own life. It will help you to go FastLane whilst also gaining your father's support.

Sent from my Nexus 6 using Tapatalk

 

[ck4750]

I know EXACTLY what your dad's fears are for you because I know the business he's in because I'm in it myself. It can't be scaled because antiques can't be reproduced. I use a bit of a different approach. I make some of my own products. Right now probably 70/30 antiques to custom work. As I create more things there will be less and less antique pieces and more and more custom work. This will be a job at first until I get things reproduced.

Long story short is don't let your dad scare you. I'm sure he only wants the best for you. Just be smart about how you approach things and you'll be ok.

Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk

 

[Vigilante]

My dad build his own business over the course of 20 years now. He started small at flea markets, went on with a local store and now is a wholesaler. I know he made many mistakes, but he also learned a lot of valuable things. He drives to neighbor countries regualrly to import goods.


BUT

he also knows, that going oversees to import would mean to sacrificing family time. He works very hard, but in my opinion I also know, that his business is not scalable, because it is very restricted to a local base. This year, he went into the negative.
I have graduated recently and now attempting to build a business. He says, he wants to give me 1 year to learn, but wants me to get a 9-5 job, ideally.
In his opinion, going to university is the pinnacle of education. Getting experience from companies is also the best way to learn about the industry, in his opinion.
But I want to build a business now. I know, working laboriously for my boss wouldn´t make me happy, even though I would gain a little experience and money. I´m reading tons of things now and also learned a lot about marketing etc. already. I´m changing daily habits, and build everything around becoming an entrepreneur.
But again, my dad´s opinion is, that building an own business is too risky. He didn´t get a proper education and he thinks getting a former education and going slowlane is the safest and best way to build wealth, stepping up the corporate ladder slowly and building his carreer.
I don´t think he would ever approve an importing business. He suffers back pain from years of carrying huge packages.
His business is declining now, our family hardly earns anything.

What is your opinion on this? It is just a strange case, that I wanted to share with you guys.

Your dad is correct.

 

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[Vigilante]

My kid wanted to be a boxer.

I could have hired him a trainer, given him conditioning, and gotten him a gym membership.

However, he wouldn't have ever been ready to be a boxer until he got punched in the mouth for real.

He didn't need a sparring partner. The sparring partner didn't want to kill him.

I wanted him to get his a$$ kicked. I wanted him to see what it felt like to be on the losing end of a fight.

Then, and only then, might he be ready to understand the training.

The best place for him to get educated wasn't from professors of the sport.

The best place for him to gain his education was on the street.

He thought he knew a lot more than he knew. He thought he was ready.

I knew he wasn't. I knew what he needed, which was a whole different type of education.

He had the chance to be the best boxer in the world, but he needed to see the real fight first.

Then, he would be ready. Then, he could be trained. Then, he would win.

I knew what he needed, and it wasn't the entourage, the golden gloves, and the fake prep class.

He needed to better understand the real world first. He needed to know what he was fighting for.

 

[LateStarter]

I don´t think he would ever approve an importing business. He suffers back pain from years of carrying huge packages.
His business is declining now, our family hardly earns anything.

Can you make this fastlane? What's stopping you from approaching your father, learning his business, and applying principles others have laid out here to try and make it fastlane?

 

[GIlman]

So you want to earn millions without going to college spending years of your life (not to mention $100K you don't have) doing it?

Well, there is great news for you...you honestly don't have to...

Let me tell you a few things about college...college is simply structured education. You might have noticed I said education, not learning...good pickup.

The truth is that when you go to college you are paying an astronomical fee to have someone structure what to learn and when...that's it.

It's really completely up to you to put in the effort and make something from this.

And, there are masses of people that graduate with tons of education, that learned very little...they have a certificate. Yah.

Now you know why you see supposedly highly educated people working basic jobs. The didn't actually increase their value as a person through their education.

But the opportunity to learn is all around you, for next to nothing.

You seem like a hungry young man, focus that energy to improve yourself every day of your life.

Just because you don't go to college, you must not allow yourself to excuse the need to learn, I mean really learn, everyday.

In fairness to your parents...this is exactly why most parents fear their kids not going to college. The day they decide not to go is the day they stop learning and growing, because it's the day they decide they are done learning.

This is a disaster that leads to life long employment in a low paying job for most.

Ok, so I want to share with you one tiny secret. It is the ultimate secret to your success....

You are really a product yourself, the market will pay you for what you are worth, that is you are paid for the value you bring to the market!!! Period.

Always work to increase your own personal value, and your income will never stop growing.

Start learning a new skill every couple of months. Read in your spare time, and practice, practice, practice.

If you honestly do this I can gaurentee you that success will find you.

 

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