This might be the type of area where a therapist might actually help. I go to a therapist (he considers himself a counselor more so than a therapist) every two months and it has been quite helpful to me in learning how to communicate better within my relationship with my girlfriend. That was the original reason I first met with him, but over time, we have gotten into many other areas of life including philosophy/religion and we have quite lively debates! He is a Christian and active in a church but I value his advice a lot even when I disagree with some aspects of his worldview. He is also much older than me (in his 60s) and has experienced many of the issues I've gone through and offers good advice on how he and his wife worked through them.I'm a perfectionist and I feel like often it's not worth it to invest effort in something if the end result will be subpar. For example, I see zero point in writing a book that will be read by a few hundred people. Doing things on a small scale just doesn't satisfy me. And if I want to do something on a larger scale and find someone doing it way better, I also think it's a waste of my time because it's just inefficient.
Anyway, I say all this just to say that discounting therapists/counselors as not helpful could be discounting a potential tool for you to utilize in living a better life. It took me 4 years to finally see one and I probably would have made a lot more progress sooner had I not waited so long.
I don't really know your personal situation or much about you. I suspect I might have met you at a summit, but I am not 100% sure. I don't think there have been that many Polish attendees at the summits and I distinctly remember a Polish author there who was chatting with a small group of guys near me. I was just dicking around on my phone for 20 minutes and not engaging, but then that Polish guy ended up being the first presenter and my favorite presenter of the day. If that was you, just know that I spent the whole day regretting that I didn't talk to you before the sessions began because I really appreciated your story and lifestyle.I thought writing my newsletter would give me some of that but frankly, I don't get that feeling from writing. I can even get thank-you letters and stuff and it's nice and all but it doesn't make me feel anything. Maybe because it's online and it's too abstract to feel as if I'm truly helping someone.
Anyway, I think it is much harder to see or understand our impact online. I can put shit tons of "good" stuff into the ether online, but I really have no way of knowing its direct impact.
I have been playing piano for 22 years. My favorite concert I ever performed was for 14 people in my home. One time, I played a few pieces at MJ's house on his out-of-tune grand piano and that was such a great experience (because he appreciated it even though it didn't sound great), that after I broke my thumb and unintentionally gave up playing for 2 years, the memory of playing at his house was my primary motivation to relearn all the pieces I had forgotten. Once I relearned them, I recorded them and put them on Youtube, and if only 14 people ever hear them, that is fine with me. I put tons of hours into recording them, not for other people, but for my future self if a day comes when I cannot play anymore. I know some people will find the recordings, but view counts tells me nothing about the personal experiences of the people who have encountered my stuff online compared to interacting with people in the real world.
I think you are right that online feedback is too abstract and indirect, so my advice would be to focus on tangible, in-person service, whether that is volunteering in a soup kitchen one day a week or picking up trash on the side of the road while listening to a podcast or taking a dog for a walk at a local rescue. I think each of those actions is more valuable to a person than any online validation could ever be.
Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum:
Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.
Last edited: