D
Deleted50669
Guest
I was doing some reflection today about where I am and where I’m headed. These two places are very, very different.
I never talk about this with close friends, let alone almost complete strangers. Between student loans and credit card debt I’ve got 110k racked up. Yes, six figures of almost entirely unjustified debt.
Scary, right? I know some people with more, but not many, unless they have a mortgage or a business loan.
But here’s the thing; it doesn’t bother me any more. I used to have crippling anxiety, losing sleep and having restricted confidence with women. I used to be on a date and feel like I was wasting the girl’s time because I knew she would ultimately run from my financial troubles. I was allowing the debt to poison every aspect of my life. It made decisions for me. It became one of the largest parts of my identity.
MJ’s books got my proverbial ship (because lord knows I don’t have the real one yet) sailing in the right direction. But that wasn’t enough. For the impact of his powerful words to take hold I had to actively pursue inner change. This involved looking at my own inner beliefs and understanding why I’m living my life like a victim. What I ultimately discovered was that I was living as though I was a victim to the world. I was not. The world only allows people to become victims if they choose to do so - I was a victim to my own decisions. This is a critical distinction. I decided that college was a great choice with the information I had, even though it wasn’t. I decided the things I bought on credit were “necessary”, even though they weren’t. In aggregate, I made a collection of decisions that showed I alone decided to be a sidewalker.
So what’s different now?
I’m deciding to be in the fastlane. The world is not going to tell me whether or not I can do this. I’m deciding that I will do this. Now that this life decision is made (and make no mistake, this is a LIFE drcision), it makes a lot of other decisions very easy; where I spend my money, where I spend my time, and who I do and do not listen to. I embarked on this shift about two years ago, and I’m just now seeing a business idea begin to come to fruition. On the outside I’m still the same debt-ridden desk jocky with a predictably mediocre existence. But in private, when I lock myself in my room and do the real work, I am a millionaire butterfly in its cocoon. I am grinding 20x harder than I do at my job to learn and bring a revolutionary product to life. No person, family or otherwise, will disrupt this. I’ve detached friends and family members who exerted even an ounce of negative energy towards me, and I don’t need them back.
To thosevwho feel like victims, stop telling yourself a shitty story and wake up. You are only a victim to your own ignorance and lack of will. If you live in a free country, there are no excuses. It is simply about what you believe, and what you’re willing to do.
“It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.”
- William Ernest Henley
I never talk about this with close friends, let alone almost complete strangers. Between student loans and credit card debt I’ve got 110k racked up. Yes, six figures of almost entirely unjustified debt.
Scary, right? I know some people with more, but not many, unless they have a mortgage or a business loan.
But here’s the thing; it doesn’t bother me any more. I used to have crippling anxiety, losing sleep and having restricted confidence with women. I used to be on a date and feel like I was wasting the girl’s time because I knew she would ultimately run from my financial troubles. I was allowing the debt to poison every aspect of my life. It made decisions for me. It became one of the largest parts of my identity.
MJ’s books got my proverbial ship (because lord knows I don’t have the real one yet) sailing in the right direction. But that wasn’t enough. For the impact of his powerful words to take hold I had to actively pursue inner change. This involved looking at my own inner beliefs and understanding why I’m living my life like a victim. What I ultimately discovered was that I was living as though I was a victim to the world. I was not. The world only allows people to become victims if they choose to do so - I was a victim to my own decisions. This is a critical distinction. I decided that college was a great choice with the information I had, even though it wasn’t. I decided the things I bought on credit were “necessary”, even though they weren’t. In aggregate, I made a collection of decisions that showed I alone decided to be a sidewalker.
So what’s different now?
I’m deciding to be in the fastlane. The world is not going to tell me whether or not I can do this. I’m deciding that I will do this. Now that this life decision is made (and make no mistake, this is a LIFE drcision), it makes a lot of other decisions very easy; where I spend my money, where I spend my time, and who I do and do not listen to. I embarked on this shift about two years ago, and I’m just now seeing a business idea begin to come to fruition. On the outside I’m still the same debt-ridden desk jocky with a predictably mediocre existence. But in private, when I lock myself in my room and do the real work, I am a millionaire butterfly in its cocoon. I am grinding 20x harder than I do at my job to learn and bring a revolutionary product to life. No person, family or otherwise, will disrupt this. I’ve detached friends and family members who exerted even an ounce of negative energy towards me, and I don’t need them back.
To thosevwho feel like victims, stop telling yourself a shitty story and wake up. You are only a victim to your own ignorance and lack of will. If you live in a free country, there are no excuses. It is simply about what you believe, and what you’re willing to do.
“It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.”
- William Ernest Henley
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