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A Note for People Seriously Struggling

Discussion in 'General Mindset, Motivation, Beliefs' started by 404profound, Jun 3, 2018.

  1. 404profound
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    404profound Gold Contributor I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    I was doing some reflection today about where I am and where I’m headed. These two places are very, very different.

    I never talk about this with close friends, let alone almost complete strangers. Between student loans and credit card debt I’ve got 110k racked up. Yes, six figures of almost entirely unjustified debt.

    Scary, right? I know some people with more, but not many, unless they have a mortgage or a business loan.

    But here’s the thing; it doesn’t bother me any more. I used to have crippling anxiety, losing sleep and having restricted confidence with women. I used to be on a date and feel like I was wasting the girl’s time because I knew she would ultimately run from my financial troubles. I was allowing the debt to poison every aspect of my life. It made decisions for me. It became one of the largest parts of my identity.

    MJ’s books got my proverbial ship (because lord knows I don’t have the real one yet) sailing in the right direction. But that wasn’t enough. For the impact of his powerful words to take hold I had to actively pursue inner change. This involved looking at my own inner beliefs and understanding why I’m living my life like a victim. What I ultimately discovered was that I was living as though I was a victim to the world. I was not. The world only allows people to become victims if they choose to do so - I was a victim to my own decisions. This is a critical distinction. I decided that college was a great choice with the information I had, even though it wasn’t. I decided the things I bought on credit were “necessary”, even though they weren’t. In aggregate, I made a collection of decisions that showed I alone decided to be a sidewalker.

    So what’s different now?

    I’m deciding to be in the fastlane. The world is not going to tell me whether or not I can do this. I’m deciding that I will do this. Now that this life decision is made (and make no mistake, this is a LIFE drcision), it makes a lot of other decisions very easy; where I spend my money, where I spend my time, and who I do and do not listen to. I embarked on this shift about two years ago, and I’m just now seeing a business idea begin to come to fruition. On the outside I’m still the same debt-ridden desk jocky with a predictably mediocre existence. But in private, when I lock myself in my room and do the real work, I am a millionaire butterfly in its cocoon. I am grinding 20x harder than I do at my job to learn and bring a revolutionary product to life. No person, family or otherwise, will disrupt this. I’ve detached friends and family members who exerted even an ounce of negative energy towards me, and I don’t need them back.

    To thosevwho feel like victims, stop telling yourself a sh*tty story and wake up. You are only a victim to your own ignorance and lack of will. If you live in a free country, there are no excuses. It is simply about what you believe, and what you’re willing to do.

    “It matters not how strait the gate,
    How charged with punishments the scroll,
    I am the master of my fate:
    I am the captain of my soul.”

    - William Ernest Henley
     
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  2. Fastlane Liam
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    Fastlane Liam Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass

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    Dam man thats tough. I can't even imagine how hard it is with 6 Figure Debt.
    Lets focus on what will free you - your business idea,
    How is it? How close are you to firing the feedback loop and getting sales?
    I have no idea what it is, but if you're ever stuck make sure to consider hiring freelancers. You can get alot done at very reasonable rates. I always use them to act quickly and work through stuff and Im not good at.
     
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  3. 404profound
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    404profound Gold Contributor I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    Thanks for the rep and reply!

    I am fortunate to make a very good income in the meantime until I'm self-employed, to the debt is manageable. As far as the product, I've been purposely quiet about it because I want to avoid outside speculation about its potential. I have hired freelancers for graphic design so far, which has worked out quite well. Most of the product I have the means to produce very well, it will just take me some time. Later this year I will need to seek legal support to craft the terms of use, obtain trademarks, incorporate, etc. I will be sure to post a detailed account of everything once it launches.
     
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  4. jasoncuellar123
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    jasoncuellar123 I’m probably awake. Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Read The Miracle Morning, it helped me.

    The guy was in way more debt than you and turned his life around.

    His struggles make mine look nonexistent.
     
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2018
  5. The Devil (XV)
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    The Devil (XV) PARKED

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    :clap::
     
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  6. Vigilante
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    Vigilante Legendary Contributor Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    At one point, I was -$1,200,000 with no income. I fixed it. You're starting out +1,090,000 better than I was.

    "In life, you either need inspiration or desperation." - Tony Robbins
     
  7. GoGetter24
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    GoGetter24 Silver Contributor Speedway Pass

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    What? How?
     
  8. Vigilante
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    Vigilante Legendary Contributor Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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  9. GoGetter24
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    GoGetter24 Silver Contributor Speedway Pass

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    I don't get why advice on these matters is so often fluffy and abstract. Even that Dan Lok guy says "your first million is just mindset". And Tony Robbins said he got the money to buy a castle simply by buying it, because "then he had to make the money". What?

    It is not just about mindset. It is about actual tangible steps. "You have to want it" and other platitudes are not enough to succeed by. And neither is hard work. The idea that people can fix a million dollar debt by just wanting it hard enough simply doesn't help.

    The only hint I heard in there was "I had my Rolodex", which implies you somehow leveraged existing contacts and relationships to start digging yourself out of the hole, by calling them one at a time with some business proposition. Is that correct? In which case you didn't have zero, you had the accumulated investment of that network.

    For someone who's been whacked back down to zero, what immediate tangible non-mindset-themed steps should they take to get back up?
     
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  10. ZF Lee
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    ZF Lee Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    A lot of actual monetary and business stuff can be confidential.
    Even when I talk on some of my Upwork dealings, I don't specifically say X and Y. I try to put out an approach that can be applied in a variety of situations and WHY I used that approach, as opposed to other options.

    The WHY leads to the HOW because it gives the ingredients.

    On the Rolodex hint, I don't think the networking approach can be quantified strictly in monetary terms at all. But that doesn't mean it is not important.

    Leveraging contacts do work a lot as the easiest customers to sell to are those who know you can be trusted for help. Trust is pretty much what drives money into your pocket. Simply put, customers that trust you, pay you money.

    I myself have used this approach a few times to land myself in places I would never usually go to. I ended up helping out at a Model United Nations event just because an old friend recommended me. I had to work alongside with strangers, but it didn't matter. I could help.
     
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  11. Vigilante
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    Vigilante Legendary Contributor Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    First, if you think that podcast was fluffy and abstract I almost didn't bother responding. To trivialize something so initmate because it didn't give you a how-to guide (which wasn't the intent) is somewhat absurd.

    There's a thread on the inside that I wrote that chronicles the entire journey from the inception of the business to the sale 6 years later.

    However, if you are looking for a road map to follow, there isn't one.

    You're looking for actual tangible steps to follow? If it was that easy, don't you think everyone else would be following them?

    That is how businesses that sell "steps" prey on unsuspecting. While the insider thread outlays the steps I followed, you can't follow them. It's not replicatable any moreso than making a limo referral business. What worked for MJ isn't something you can simply re-do and expect the same results. It's already been done. The time has already passed.

    So, what is important is exactly what you are skipping past. What's important is that you are not the first to face the mountains, nor will you be the last.

    But it CAN be done. It starts with resolve. It starts with an unquenchable fire in your gut and a commitment to succeed in the face of seemingly insurmountable obstacles.

    The OP has $110,000 in debt. In somewhere between a year and three years from now, the number could be zero, or positive net assets.

    How? About a million ways. I can think of a half dozen off the top of my head.

    People sometimes read the millionaire fast lane looking for the "answer." The answer is found within. Create a business that masters the subjects of NEED, ENTRY, SCALE, separates your TIME from your income, and gives you CONTROL. That's HOW.

    Or, just stay in the crowd that hears a story like mine and rather than grabbing the lesson, focus on trivial sh*t. I'd love to sell you a course, but I don't sell courses.

    Your screen name is GOGETTER. So go get it.
     
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2018
  12. 404profound
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    404profound Gold Contributor I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    Thank you, will do.
     
  13. 404profound
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    404profound Gold Contributor I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    That is frightening, definitely puts it in perspective.
     
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  14. minivanman
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    minivanman Gold Contributor Speedway Pass

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    I might be the perfect one to comment because unlike everyone else I've ever known in my life.... I've never had any debt. I've never even applied for a credit card. But I think if I had any debt at all whether it was $110 or $110k, while both would scare me, there is no way I'd let it rule MY life! I'd just make a plan and $x amount goes to debt each month.... end of story. No matter if you fail or succeed in the future, do NOT let debt rule your life! If you succeed, get it paid off, if you fail just keep on keepin on and pay $x amount every month. <<<<< This is for the people that this post was made for, the strugglers. >>>>> Just do what you can do and let it go. No need to lose sleep or be in a bad mood or be depressed. It's ok. Do you know what happens if a credit card doesn't get their payment? NOTHING!!! If they call harassing you tell them they do not get another penny until they call you back and treat you nice. If they don't call back and treat you nice..... F them, pay them LAST. YOU have the upper hand. YOU have control of YOUR money and YOU have control of who gets paid each month. Guess what happens if the credit card company never gets paid? NOTHING! You might get a bad credit score, so what. That's better than worrying about paying them. In the case of the OP, I'd pay off the student loans first and if the credit card companies don't like it.... so what? Are they going to take you off their Christmas card list? Do you know the best way to not worry about creditor calls? Only answer calls from people that their names pop up on your phone. If a phone number comes up with no name.... don't answer it and erase the message without listening to it. No need for all that stress. Even in debt live the most stress free life you can.
     
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  15. biophase
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    biophase Legendary Contributor I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Seriously? You don’t get it because you don’t get it. Tangible steps are easy but if you don’t have the mindset you won’t take the steps.

    Why can’t people lose weight or get six pack abs then? There are hundreds of step by step guides to do this. It’s simple.

    You ever wonder that if everyone tells you it’s mindset that maybe it’s true and maybe you just don’t have the mindset so you don’t want to believe it.
     
  16. GoGetter24
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    GoGetter24 Silver Contributor Speedway Pass

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    No, those are not the same things. There is only one way to get six pack abs: lower body fat percentage by caloric deficit and exercise your muscles. It's an actual simple, very high probability process -- it's very hard not to get abs if your bf% is 8% and you've been gymning for 6 months or more.

    Saying making money is simple is having your cake and eating it too. It's history written by the winners. It's "why can't you just do it like me? huh?".

    There are millions of different ways to proceed, and millions of ways that will fail, and there is not one way that will fix anyone's situation regardless of what it is. But there is definitely room for helpful procedure between "just have a good mindset" and "follow my easy 10 step plan and you'll get rich".

    The reason I bring this up is that you don't get to see the statistics on those seriously struggling who drop off and end up in the gutter as a result of advice like "just fix your mindset and good will come to you". You never see the shadows of the logins that never happen again because of that. You can have the best mindset in the world, but if you fry yourself and still don't get enough money to eat, it's over.

    For every Sylvester Stallone, there's 9 others who tried just as hard and stayed homeless. People forget that. And that number isn't going to be brought down by the successful saying "it was just mindset". But tangibles could.
     
  17. Longinus
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    Longinus Platinum Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    What your mindset basically says is that there's only one "lucky" Stallone on 10 people. While the only difference between Sly and the 9 others, is perhaps that he had the persistence to try just one more time.

    On 100 people who read TMF, perhaps only 10 took action. On those 10 people, perhaps only 1 didn't give up after the first failure.

    Imagine how many kept going after the second failure. And third. And fourth...

    Why is that? Mindset, no?

    Seems like you are giving yourself an excuse to fail in life.
     
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  18. AfterWind
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    Amazing post, thank you for believing in yourself and showing the inner thought process behind your actions. I apply a similar mentality and one small complementary tip anyone here can use right now is:

    Replace every maybe, probably, should, have to in sentences where you're describing your actions with will or remove them altogether:

    Maybe I should start cold calling -> I will start cold calling
    I should continue fighting -> I will continue fighting
    I probably am weak minded -> I am weak minded
    I have to pass this exam -> I will pass this exam

    Seriously, it makes a huge difference in self credibility and self confidence.
     
  19. Raoul Duke
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    Raoul Duke ARRIVE. RAISE HELL. LEAVE. Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Nah bruh... Clearly, Rocky did it in one day... Look at his training vs Drago. One DAY!




    Full man beard... in ONE DAY!!!
     
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  20. Vigilante
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    Vigilante Legendary Contributor Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    You've had your (free) membership here for several months, with access to thousands of pages of stories, business plans, and helpful procedures.

    Keep telling yourself the lucky ones pass through the eye of the needle. Skip right past the dozens of skeletons in my closet I have documented, and just look at the wins. Keep telling yourself that if you fail, it's over. Let that be the reason the safety of the apron strings you cling to is the only practical answer, and scoff at the people who throw you a lifeline.

    At the end of the day, we're not here for you. We're here for the kids I met at the Fast Lane Tampa meetup, who are grinding, finding their way, and at varying degrees of success. We're here for the person who comes here looking for an oasis in their personal desert. We're here for the people who read the book and want to see if the names within are real or fictional. We're here to help people looking for help. We're here to help each other.

    We're not here to debate you on whether or not you can climb, if you're content to sit at the foot of the mountain and tell other people why they shouldn't climb. Don't climb then. You represent the majority.
     
  21. IGP
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    There are also a million ways to lose weight to get your BF% to 8% - (but you say it's not hard, presumably because you've done it before?)

    There are a million exercises to do in the gym for 6 months., but you've probably done those before too.

    Lets flip the script:

    Tell a person that has never exercised and who has been fat their entire life that getting six pack abs is easy. Just do this. <insert your "easy" plan here>

    Their response is going to be much like yours.

    You want a simple plan?

    Pick an idea.
    Bust your a$$ for 16 hours per day.
    Execute. Fail. Learn. Improve.
    Do it again tomorrow.

    Do that everyday for 6 months (just like your gym example)

    If you aren't successful or on your way to success, I would be shocked!

    In this day and age, there is absolutely zero reason someone can't become a success other than their mindset. The amount of information available is mind boggling.

    Quit making excuses.
     
  22. ZCP
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    Here you go:
    1. See the hustle threads to generate a little bit of cash to minimally live and then invest
    2. Buy or create a small cashflowing business to LEARN and pay the bills
    3. Start your CENTS business with the funds (and knowledge)

    Tag me in your progress thread and I'll be happy to come over and help.
     
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  23. GoGetter24
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    No I'm not saying it's luck. The whole reason mentorship, for instance, is incredibly effective, is because direction is critical.

    For most people, if you bust your a$$ 16 hours a day on a business idea, you will end up burned out and broke. You will only screen through those with the constitution required to work that quantity (who are few and far between, not because they "don't want it enough" but because of flesh-and-blood limits), and those who strike the blade of the power-law curve (about 1 in 10). The rest you won't hear from, and therefore cannot defend themselves against charges of "just not wanting it enough".

    All I'm saying is that there needs to be a middle ground between the linear curve of the job (slowlane) and the observation-bias, power-law ignored, "you've just got to unplug, and want it enough" world of self-congratulatory business bravado.

    The self-serving attitude of successful businessmen that the 90% drop-off rate is purely due to inferior attitude has to stop. I'm glad guys like Thiel have noted that and try to help without judgement (e.g. pointing out that more partners in the business is worth it as long as they're like-minded, because the linear equity division curve is overpowered by the power-law return curve).

    Allow me to have a go, and feel free to critique:

    To those struggling, what would you rate your personal margin in percent? I.e. if you minimize your costs and worked enough in your current money now situation, how many work hours per week are you capable of, while keeping below burnout? Can you honestly confirm you've gone past that level and actually burned out?

    What is the average interest rate on your debts?

    Is there any way you can leverage that worthless college degree, even if (in the case of humanities) you have to join the hordes of Americans teaching English in Korea (for the same reason)?

    What is your fastlane target market? What's the return curve on it? (you can get this by, for example, finding marketplace sites that divulge sales numbers). Do you know how much a dice roll costs to enter that market? (e.g. 200 personal hours, or 100 hours + $5000 capital). How many dice rolls does it take to bring your chance of striking the blade of the curve above 50%? Can you do that many rolls before you run out of having enough money to eat?

    Yes? (different tack). No? Then put it down. Do you have a marketable skill? (No, job: different tack). What rate can you command? How much work can you command at that rate? How can you increase that?

    Etc.

    There is room for way more rigor in this than mindset fluff. Mindset fluff gets people to say "Yeaauhhh!! I'm gonnna do it!!!!" and feel that for 40 to 50 minutes, and that's it. You need the meat with the potatoes.
     
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  24. biophase
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    Exactly, it's not very hard to get abs if you've been following the step by step for 6 months. But can people follow the step by step for 6 months? Why can't they stay on the path for 6 months? It's because just following the step by step is hard. It's not that the steps themselves are hard, it's how you do them and actually doing them every day without cheating or getting side tracked.

    Two people can go to the gym and do 3 sets of 10 reps benching. But I bet that one person's reps were executed better. One person's reps were stricter, rested less, more intense, etc... One person gained more than the other in those 30 reps of benching.

    Running a business is the same thing, are you consistently putting in the hard work every day. Are you cheating? Taking days off?

    You know what, those get rich quick courses do actually work. They are the most step by step that I've seen. But the kicker is that they require hard work. You buy a REI investment course and they tell you to drive neighborhoods and birddog and knock on 100 doors a day. The Amazon course tells you to look at jungle scout to find a product. You jump in and get on Amazon and go up against 1000 other people who found the exact same product as you. Why do 10 of those 1000 people win and the other 990 fail? They've all taken the same steps and imported the same product. It's because the 10 winners did more, executed better.

    This is why it comes down to mindset. If you aren't in the right frame of mind, your execution will suck. You will do the minimum, follow each step, but not do it to its full intensity.
     
  25. Get Right
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    Get Right Platinum Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    I disagree. You aren't to the point of needing direction yet. The only wrong direction is simply to not pick one.

    Mindset and motivation are two different things. You are describing motivation.
     

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