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Deep Depression being stuck at a 9-5 job

Hiker

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Hi guys,

I am writing this after suffering for 7 months with depression related to my job. It started after reading TMF , in that moment, I realized how much I was wrong, how my life will get worse if I still continue my life like that.
I am 19 and nearly approaching 20, I have tried to implement a Fastlane project( an arbitrage bot which would work in the crypto space) but it failed, after 2 months of work, I swa that it was losing money rather than doing it.
I decided to become a blockchain developer because this was the field in which 1 year ago I made a good amount of money by arbitraging the market manually( at the peak, I was at 15000$ ), my journey of learning went good and made some nice open source project to back up my profile.
I went into vacation for 1 month and my anxiety/depression faded away like magic.
The fear of going back to entrepreneurhip is so high that everything I come up with, my ego says: "it will never work". It's getting hard to do anything, I want to work in the blockchain space but I don't think there is a Fastlane in this field.
I just fear of the weekend because I don't have anything to do and whenever I try to start working on my business, my ego won't cease to say that it won't work.
My background: I am an Abap developer working in the SAP space, teached myself how to make good websites, knew nothing about programming before getting into the job.
Sometimes I regret of reading TMF .

Good luck to y'all
 
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broswoodwork

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Hi guys,

I am writing this after suffering for 7 months with depression related to my job. It started after reading TMF , in that moment, I realized how much I was wrong, how my life will get worse if I still continue my life like that.
I am 19 and nearly approaching 20, I have tried to implement a Fastlane project( an arbitrage bot which would work in the crypto space) but it failed, after 2 months of work, I swa that it was losing money rather than doing it.
I decided to become a blockchain developer because this was the field in which 1 year ago I made a good amount of money by arbitraging the market manually( at the peak, I was at 15000$ ), my journey of learning went good and made some nice open source project to back up my profile.
I went into vacation for 1 month and my anxiety/depression faded away like magic.
The fear of going back to entrepreneurhip is so high that everything I come up with, my ego says: "it will never work". It's getting hard to do anything, I want to work in the blockchain space but I don't think there is a Fastlane in this field.
I just fear of the weekend because I don't have anything to do and whenever I try to start working on my business, my ego won't cease to say that it won't work.
My background: I am an Abap developer working in the SAP space, teached myself how to make good websites, knew nothing about programming before getting into the job.
Sometimes I regret of reading TMF .

Good luck to y'all
It sounds like you're letting your happiness be contingent upon the destination (event) instead of finding joy in the journey (process).

I know I used to get depressed about not being where I want to be as well. I'm sure everyone has felt that way, but if you shift your vision over to an over arching goal, with measurable steps, you can find a lot of satisfaction in working towards the intermediate goals.

 

Ernman

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Hiker - welcome to the forum. I'm not going to try to change your feelings, only you can do that. Committing to a Fastlane life can be scary for some, exhilarating for others, a challenge for all who go after it. There are also unlimited paths to the Fastlane, so don't feel constrained to just the areas you know/understand right now. You likely will not get it right the first time, or the second, or the... But each time we try, we learn and the next time we do better. Some hit the sweet spot sooner than others.

Personally, I believe it is worth the risk and journey and I've yet to make it. I am confident I will succeed. But there's a lot of hard work ahead. I only wish I had started at your age.
 

Ernman

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I know I used to get depressed about not being where I want to be as well. I'm sure everyone has felt that way, but if you shift your vision over to an over arching goal, with measurable steps, you can find a lot of satisfaction in working towards the intermediate goals.
A very good observation.
 
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Hiker

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It sounds like you're letting your happiness be contingent upon the destination (event) instead of finding joy in the journey (process).

I know I used to get depressed about not being where I want to be as well. I'm sure everyone has felt that way, but if you shift your vision over to an over arching goal, with measurable steps, you can find a lot of satisfaction in working towards the intermediate goals.

How do yo go ahead knowing that a recession is coming and people are less keen to buy your product during that time ?

This is what keeps me off all the time
 

Entre Eyes

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Ah Yes. You made me remember the last real J-O-B I ever had.

I was hired in the morning sitting in a cubicle and attached to a earpiece and had to log out to go to the bathroom.

I quit on my lunch break the first day. Apologies to them but I could not do it I was already a "Clock Watcher" and had just started.

I noticed the other cubicles were DECORATED. I mean like a small apt. One had a Mini Fridge haha. I was like no FN way. I would go back to selling cars in the Weather than the Cubicle.

But if I could go back even to my first successes online I would focus on having Bread and Butter income coming in. No matter how inglorious I earned it.

I do not care if it was marketing embarrassing niches like How to Cure Boils and Acne Reports as long as we have cash coming in that keeps us in the game that is the key. Plus those people have credit cards in hand not window shopping for another day :)

We all want the Grand Slam right now or yesterday. But we should have a Foundation of steady bucks coming in that should be our focus at first I think.

Either that or make sure your first venture has a recurring payment element to it.

We can come here and read the awesome post of Investor Junkie being sold for Millions and that is what dances in our heads non stop.

But that bread and butter income or we can call it stay out of a cubicle money, off the car lot money, never flipping burgers money.

That will help us on the marquee to get to our Main Event Projects.

Please remember you have info in your head that others would pay for to save them time, effort, and learning curve. That is a Product. :)
 

BellaPippin

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BRO YOU'RE TEN YEARS AHEAD OF ME. I'LL SLAP U.

Also listen, a job isn't anything to be utterly depressed about. What is depressing is settling there forever knowing you would like to do something else with your life than make someone else rich. A job will teach you stuff at your age. It will help you meet people, and you never know who you might come across and who might throw you a hand or have a friend that has a friend etc. A job will teach you to be responsible, to not look like a mess, to deal with people, etc. etc. It is nothing "below you". Also I made my best friend when I worked as a bank teller.

Now, AS you learn all this, and since you have very little responsibilities, go ahead and take all the risks. What's the phrase go ahead and fail, fail better, keep trying stuff. If you lose money you lose money. You make it back. Money comes and goes.

Instead of thinking of the fear that it won't work, think of the fear of being 40 and still being there, on their schedule and under their rules. ~_~

Also, welcome
 
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broswoodwork

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How do yo go ahead knowing that a recession is coming and people are less keen to buy your product during that time ?

This is what keeps me off all the time
Oh man, I wouldn't even sweat that.

Most of the big names here got going in what I'm convinced future historians will refer to as the Great Depression II (just swap out breadlines with ebt, unlabeled canned goods with free cellphones, and drifting around in a boxcar with working 3 shitty part time jobs).

Just keep pushing value.

What did Ben Franklin say, "starvation may stare in the working man's window, but dares not come through his door."
 

Tourmaline

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Your depression is not caused by your job. Your depression is caused by your perspective.

Fix your perspective, if you care to fix your depression.
 
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luniac

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Bro... 20? come on man you're not depressed, you're just feeling down in the dumps cause u realize Jobs suck.
 

Tourmaline

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I wouldn't say jobs suck. They're relatively easy money and are vital for businesses and the economy! They're the first step to not needing a job.
 

ZCP

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Provide value and you will never be without.

I did something this past week ..... changed my 'primary question' .....

Instead of constantly kicking my own a$$ about what I hadn't done, or how I was going to fail, or why i hadn't done this or hadn't done that .........

I changed my question.

How can I give myself some credit for the awesomeness that I have accomplished?

Changed my whole perspective.... more importantly, it changed my interactions with others. Staff, loved ones, people in general.

Positive energy. Thankfulness. Joy.
 
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KenDM405

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Depression and anxiety go hand in hand. It's true that the main cause of these things is your perception of your universe (the world as you look at it).

If you want to know about getting over these hurdles, feel free to send a DM!

As for the business part: it's like the others say, I think. NEVER STOP TRYING. You only really fail once you stop trying. Every attempt is a victory in its own way. It's a teacher. Nothing can be learned from direct success...
 

broswoodwork

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Unrelated, but is anyone else wondering how op's name is Hiker, but he got a J for a default pic?tenor.gif
 

Hiker

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Bro... 20? come on man you're not depressed, you're just feeling down in the dumps cause u realize Jobs suck.
It's not even a bad job but I feel like staying here for the next 2 years, I won't do anything meaningful.
I hate staying in the comfort zone at this age but at the same time scared to take the next step.
I should work on it and look at the world in another way, sure staying with slowlaners and sidewalkers everyday doesn't help changing perspective
:(
 

Hiker

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Whats your diet like? I bet if you ate well you would feel much better
BreakFast:
Drink: Orange juice
Meal: Bread with fig Jam

Lunch:

Drink: Water
Meal: Any plate with fish( I love it ) and pizza once a week

Dinner:
Drink:Water
Meal: Mainly vegetables and chicken sometimes

I've had this diet for the last month, it helped me but the problem is how I think and my vision for the future.
 

BrianLateStart

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How do yo go ahead knowing that a recession is coming and people are less keen to buy your product during that time ?
I'm 55. I've been living the Slowlane my entire life. I didn't mind it so much until recently.

Here's a perspective example to ponder. I started developing my product 4 years ago. The economy was doing great back then. Would have been a perfect time to be selling.

I'm just getting ready to sell as it appears the economy is about to tank. Maybe releasing your product 4 years from now will be much better timing. You've got time to develop skills and come up with your product. I think developing your skills and your product are better timed before and during a recession. Be ready to take advantage when the economy turns around.

You should look forward to your weekends and evenings to learn new skills (whatever skills you want to try, try it!). Don't worry so much about the product idea right now. Having a skill set (multiple skills) will make developing the product much easier.
 
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Tourmaline

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What do you mean by "Fix your prespective" ?

I work a job. Do I love it? No. Do I hate it? No.

I have hated it before though. 1000%. Felt pointless. Meaningless, beyond a paycheck.

Then I shifted my perspective.

I work because it makes me money which I support my family with and feed into my business.

My job enables my business which will grant me freedom once I succeed.

Why hate the job? It is essential. Vital. Without it I'd be much worse off. I'm working this job because of the other decisions in my life. It was my choice to be here now. It is my choice to start a business so I can one day leave this job too.

Fundamentally it's the Why. Why are you working this job. What is the end goal. Keep your eye on the vision and the end goal, not the job that's merely transitory and one step along the way.

If your job was your deadend, then sure. Hate it all day. Like most in deadend jobs with no greater goal do!
 

Andreas Thiel

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Have you read both books? An arbitrage bot does not create much value, does it?

I suggest reading two books: "Abundance: The Future is Better Than You Think" and "So Good They Can't Ignore You". Combined with Unscripted and TMF you should be able to come up with an inspiring vision for the future.

Not sure where your doubts about Blockchain being viable as a Fastlane business come from. As long as it is not an arbitrage trading bot it is almost hard to violate the Commandments in that space.
 

Tourmaline

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Both those books look great @Andreas Thiel!

Blockchain tech is going to make some people very rich.
 
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luniac

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It's not even a bad job but I feel like staying here for the next 2 years, I won't do anything meaningful.
I hate staying in the comfort zone at this age but at the same time scared to take the next step.
I should work on it and look at the world in another way, sure staying with slowlaners and sidewalkers everyday doesn't help changing perspective
:(
well u got 9 years until u catch up to me, and im not successful financially yet either.
good luck.
 

ravenspear

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You have plenty of time. You don't have to quit your job right away.

I'm just getting around to quitting my job at 35.

If you want to stay fastlane though, I would focus on providing more value than just crypto arbitrage. That's not much different from day trading stocks, you're essentially just trying to suck money out of a market at the margins with a lot of people trading different things.

Focus on actually developing a product or service that people want instead.
 

moneytree3006

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Speaking from experience the only thing that will help you is seeking professional therapy with a psychologist to work on your mindset and possibly supplementing that with antidepressants prescribed by your doctor. This is my 2 cents and my opinion only. A lot of people have varying opinions about how to treat depression.
 
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James Klymus

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A job will teach you to be responsible, to not look like a mess, to deal with people

That's a good point too, A job will teach you how to handle money.

Think about it, if you can't live off of $2,000 a month and you blow everything at the bar, or even worse buy things on credit cards and accumulate a balance, Then how can you expect to live off of $20,000 a month? You'll more than likely blow it and when times get tough you'll have nothing coming in and you'll go bankrupt. Talk about scary and depressing!

But I think the habit you have is looking on the bad side of things, like the opposite of looking on the bright side of things.

For Example:
, I realized how much I was wrong, how my life will get worse if I still continue my life like that.

it will never work"

Sometimes I regret of reading TMF.

I don't want you to be Eeyore dude! Look at the positives of your situation:

- I'm assuming you're not starving to death, and you don't sleep in a ditch.

- You have money coming in since you have a job.

- You have some amount of leisure time, since you can read books, post here, and work on programming.

- You took a vacation for a month (it would be tough for me to even do that!)

- You're really young, about the same age as when I found MJ's stuff (19-20, I'm 24 now)

- You know things that most people don't know/care to understand. You're obviously a go getter if you're reading books and searching for answers on here.


Try looking at the bright side of things, and not just the negatives of the situation. Don't be ignorant of problems or issues, but look at them as puzzles or problems to solve.

I know if you're depressed it's hard to just all of the sudden force your self to look at the positives of each situation, but start small. Like the list i gave you above!

Also, just try to get a small win with business again. I am in a similar situation as you, and I'm working on getting small wins now. I had a little business that was making money, it dried up, then I got freaked out and depressed that I had failed and was scared to try again.

Good luck to you
 

BellaPippin

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That's a good point too, A job will teach you how to handle money.

Think about it, if you can't live off of $2,000 a month and you blow everything at the bar, or even worse buy things on credit cards and accumulate a balance, Then how can you expect to live off of $20,000 a month? You'll more than likely blow it and when times get tough you'll have nothing coming in and you'll go bankrupt. Talk about scary and depressing!

But I think the habit you have is looking on the bad side of things, like the opposite of looking on the bright side of things.

For Example:






I don't want you to be Eeyore dude! Look at the positives of your situation:

- I'm assuming you're not starving to death, and you don't sleep in a ditch.

- You have money coming in since you have a job.

- You have some amount of leisure time, since you can read books, post here, and work on programming.

- You took a vacation for a month (it would be tough for me to even do that!)

- You're really young, about the same age as when I found MJ's stuff (19-20, I'm 24 now)

- You know things that most people don't know/care to understand. You're obviously a go getter if you're reading books and searching for answers on here.


Try looking at the bright side of things, and not just the negatives of the situation. Don't be ignorant of problems or issues, but look at them as puzzles or problems to solve.

I know if you're depressed it's hard to just all of the sudden force your self to look at the positives of each situation, but start small. Like the list i gave you above!

Also, just try to get a small win with business again. I am in a similar situation as you, and I'm working on getting small wins now. I had a little business that was making money, it dried up, then I got freaked out and depressed that I had failed and was scared to try again.

Good luck to you

This all the way. You got this. It just doesn't happen overnight and if you are impatient like me it feels like it drives you insane but it will come just keep on keeping on.
 

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