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A Warning for Young Guys: Money is NOT the way to solve your Girl Problems

AgainstAllOdds

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The post below is a fair warning for guys that are on this forum and in entrepreneurship for the wrong reasons. If you're looking to make money to get the girl, then you're doing it wrong. There's easier ways to get the girl, and if that's your sole purpose for making money, then you should read my post below and reevaluate your process. Money should not be your priority.

Lately I've talked to too many misguided guys and read too many misguided posts about attracting women. The general thought process in business communities is: If You Get Money --> You'll Attract Women. This is a thought process that has been embedded into us by society - movies, books, tv shows, and advertising. The idea is that the guy with the mansion, sports car, Rolex, etc. is the one that can get the girl. He's the only one that can attract her and make her fall in love, and without money, no attractive girl will ever love him.

Well I'm here to tell you that that's complete bullshit.

When it comes to attracting attractive women, the #1 currency is not money, but physical appearance. Money is likely #3 for most women after personality at #2.

Read that again, let that sink in, and think about it from the girl's perspective. Let's go through an example.

Let's say you're an attractive Asian girl in her 20's. You have the option between the following two guys:

XhqWijr.png


This guy.

AU7FBqy.png


Or this guy.

Who do you choose?

The pictures above I took from Instagram. I typed in Shangri-La Singapore to find the first guy. His pics are tagged with #offwhite #louisvuitton #champagne, and a bunch of other namebrand bullshit. The second guy I searched "muay thai" and found him. I won't link the direct instagrams as that won't be appropriate, but let me give you a breakdown of these two.

The first guy has most of his pictures in fancy places. Eating fancy dinners. Sports cars. Bottles of champagne. Luxury brand clothing. From Singapore. He's obviously wealthy.

The second guy has pictures of him playing basketball. In some cheap gym training. Hanging out with family. Nothing special. From the Philippines. Lower class in terms of wealth.

But you know who has sexier girls with him on his instagram?

You guessed it, the second guy.

Women don't want to marry and have kids with some ugly lame guy. If they do, their kids will come out ugly and unattractive. For most women, the thought of their kids is enough to turn them off from the ugly rich guys. They want to be around someone that they're comfortable around and proud to be with. Physical appearance is often the first thing they look at. Now I know that's hard to accept since we've been taught that men want physical attractiveness, and women want "security", but that's bullshit. We live in a time where women make enough to sustain themselves and don't have to sacrifice personal happiness for extra comfort.

Don't believe me?


Here. Pick a random bar/beach/day club that is economically within reason for the majority of people. Then go through the pictures. Find me a picture of an attractive girl with a fat ugly guy. Outside of Vegas and whore towns, you won't find it.

Now, think of it from your perspective as a guy:

hVTYPDZ.png


You have the choice between this woman.

OMr8wTE.png


Or this one.

Another two pictures that I took off instagram.

Who do you choose?

The first one is incredibly rich. Has her pictures in fancy hotels, shopping for purses, eating at expensive restaurants. Dating her can change your life. Do you date her?

Or do you date the second girl? She's broke, but has enough money to get her eyelashes done, makeup, and a simple haircut. She diets and works out, so she looks good. If you date her, you'll have to pay for at least half of all expenses and will have to be the primary breadwinner the rest of your life.

Assuming they have the same personalities, who's your pick?

Unless you have unusual tastes or low self-esteem, the girl you likely chose is the second one.

... And that's my point. It's almost the same for women, and explains why rich women will cheat on their husbands with the gym instructor. Or why the boy toy will have a real girl that he's in love with.

Physical appearance is the #1 currency for attracting physically attractive women. Personality likely #2 for most women, and money #3.

So in summary: You attract who you are. Money helps, but it's not the end-all-be-all. If your goal in entrepreneurship is to get the girl, then you're doing it wrong. Instead, go on bodybuilding.com, or check out this guy on youtube: Jeremy Ethier. Take a different approach to getting the girl. After that, reassess if you want money.
 
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Jeff Noel

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You cannot just put everyone in the same situation.
Not every girl will like the muay thai type of man, and even less his attitude ( which could span from "really sweet" to "abusive too-much-testosterone husband").

Not two people are the same. You cannot judge by profession, hobbies or bank account.

Well, you can, but you should not, because you'd most likely be wrong once you get to know that person. That applies for any gender.
 

guy93777

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this is a logical topic from a guy's point of view. you are a logical guy. but most girls are not that logical.
girls date "weird guys" from our logical point of view. that's why guys argue with women
" but he is a jerk !! why don't you date me ? " because girls are not logical. they are emotional creature and emotions have nothing to do with logic . emotions are cavemen material and girls date strong men.not logical guys
 

GrandRub

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actually i would choose the first girl.

and i dont think the first dude is unattractive or so.

it is very subjective... sure a realy ugly dude with a questionable personality wont find a good relationship even if he has billions in his bank account.
 
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broswoodwork

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The post below is a fair warning for guys that are on this forum and in entrepreneurship for the wrong reasons. If you're looking to make money to get the girl, then you're doing it wrong. There's easier ways to get the girl, and if that's your sole purpose for making money, then you should read my post below and reevaluate your process. Money should not be your priority.

Lately I've talked to too many misguided guys and read too many misguided posts about attracting women. The general thought process in business communities is: If You Get Money --> You'll Attract Women. This is a thought process that has been embedded into us by society - movies, books, tv shows, and advertising. The idea is that the guy with the mansion, sports car, Rolex, etc. is the one that can get the girl. He's the only one that can attract her and make her fall in love, and without money, no attractive girl will ever love him.

Well I'm here to tell you that that's complete bullshit.

When it comes to attracting attractive women, the #1 currency is not money, but physical appearance. Money is likely #3 for most women after personality at #2.

Read that again, let that sink in, and think about it from the girl's perspective. Let's go through an example.

Let's say you're an attractive Asian girl in her 20's. You have the option between the following two guys:

XhqWijr.png


This guy.

AU7FBqy.png


Or this guy.

Who do you choose?

The pictures above I took from Instagram. I typed in Shangri-La Singapore to find the first guy. His pics are tagged with #offwhite #louisvuitton #champagne, and a bunch of other namebrand bullshit. The second guy I searched "muay thai" and found him. I won't link the direct instagrams as that won't be appropriate, but let me give you a breakdown of these two.

The first guy has most of his pictures in fancy places. Eating fancy dinners. Sports cars. Bottles of champagne. Luxury brand clothing. From Singapore. He's obviously wealthy.

The second guy has pictures of him playing basketball. In some cheap gym training. Hanging out with family. Nothing special. From the Philippines. Lower class in terms of wealth.

But you know who has sexier girls with him on his instagram?

You guessed it, the second guy.

Women don't want to marry and have kids with some ugly lame guy. If they do, their kids will come out ugly and unattractive. For most women, the thought of their kids is enough to turn them off from the ugly rich guys. They want to be around someone that they're comfortable around and proud to be with. Physical appearance is often the first thing they look at. Now I know that's hard to accept since we've been taught that men want physical attractiveness, and women want "security", but that's bullshit. We live in a time where women make enough to sustain themselves and don't have to sacrifice personal happiness for extra comfort.

Don't believe me?


Here. Pick a random bar/beach/day club that is economically within reason for the majority of people. Then go through the pictures. Find me a picture of an attractive girl with a fat ugly guy. Outside of Vegas and whore towns, you won't find it.

Now, think of it from your perspective as a guy:

hVTYPDZ.png


You have the choice between this woman.

OMr8wTE.png


Or this one.

Another two pictures that I took off instagram.

Who do you choose?

The first one is incredibly rich. Has her pictures in fancy hotels, shopping for purses, eating at expensive restaurants. Dating her can change your life. Do you date her?

Or do you date the second girl? She's broke, but has enough money to get her eyelashes done, makeup, and a simple haircut. She diets and works out, so she looks good. If you date her, you'll have to pay for at least half of all expenses and will have to be the primary breadwinner the rest of your life.

Assuming they have the same personalities, who's your pick?

Unless you have weird tastes for fat women, or are some sort of financial psychopath, the girl you likely chose is the second one.

... And that's my point. It's almost the same for women, and explains why rich women will cheat on their husbands with the gym instructor. Or why the boy toy will have a real girl that he's in love with.

Physical appearance is the #1 currency for attracting physically attractive women. Personality likely #2 for most women, and money #3.

So in summary: You attract who you are. Money helps, but it's not the end-all-be-all. If your goal in entrepreneurship is to get the girl, then you're doing it wrong. Instead, go on bodybuilding.com, or check out this guy on youtube: Jeremy Ethier. Take a different approach to getting the girl. After that, reassess if you want money.

One last point to hit this home:

View attachment 24938

If this goofball was as successful as he pretends to be, would he get any girls? My point exactly.

The person you need to become, to make the money to get the girl (at least the way we make money here), is more than sufficient to get the girl by itself.

Just a convoluted path towards the same objective... still, probably best to actually focus on becoming the man women want than acquiring the things we think women want.
 

WillHurtDontCare

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@AgainstAllOdds You posted a valuable concept. Money should be a means, not an end. You should pursue and create purpose, identity, and values. You will have to define and redefine those 3 words for yourself. I'd recommend studying philosophers and old books to pick and choose what works for you to become your best self, but I won't go into that here.

If you lack those 3 values you become what Napoleon Hill called a "drifter" in Outwitting the Devil. Essentially that means you are simply a dull reflection of the world around you living moment to moment, essentially just living as a series of reactions.

If you've ever seen children play, you've seen one child immediately become interested in a toy they were previously bored stuff with because they another child become interested in it. Most people never grow out of this. Most people value things simply because other people value them. That is fine from a purely survival point of view (if other people do something and they haven't died, there is probably reason to believe that doing the same might keep me alive), but essentially that turns your life into a glob of mud used to build bricks for the pyramids, rather than the life of the pharaoh who said pyramids will immortalize.

People, not just women but men and people of all cultures are naturally drawn to people who believe themselves to be called by Fate for greatness. Joan of Ark, Napoleon, Alexander the Great, Caesar, and many more all believed themselves to be destined for greatness, acted accordingly, and they are immortalized for their efforts - we still talk about them hundreds of years after their deaths because of their legendary ability to unite people around causes greater than any individual. People who start businesses to get tail (which has happened forever) barely deserve a footnote in history because that is a dull alternative to options available.

People throughout, especially Americans in the 21st century, are starved for something that they can believe in with their entire soul. You don't have to be Napoleon, but create some sort of belief system that goes beyond money and romance (and even beyond yourself). Money should just be a means to an end (this isn't just a rationalization against money, get all the money you need for your goals, but remember that money as an end in itself is !@#$ing boring), and if you have a belief system that pushes you to greater and greater heights, women will throw themselves at you in droves (see MLK, various cult leaders, Genghis Khan, and many other men whose exceptional exploits with women were the result of some call to greatness).
 

AgainstAllOdds

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You cannot just put everyone in the same situation.

You can't put everyone in the same situation, but you can rate certain attributes higher than others in society.

I don't think money comes above physical attractiveness in terms of attraction, have studied this topic, and seen the same results time and time again.

I wish money was superior, but in most first-world countries, it's not.

Well, you can, but you should not, because you'd most likely be wrong once you get to know that person.

The problem I have with this thinking is that you can't get to know the average person. A lot of modern dating is done through applications, bars, and other social settings.

If you go into a bar as a girl, how are you going to assess the average guy? You'll talk to each one before deciding who you actually want to interact with?

Let's say you go to Church every Sunday and there's a number of guys in your dating range. You ask each one to lunch, interview them for 8 hours, and get to know their life story before determining which one to date? Then limit your dating pool to that one Church?

I've dated girls for months before learning they're sociopaths. Weeks before learning one was ten years older than she said. Getting to know people is an incredibly time intensive process and difficult. It'd be ideal, but is not applicable in most dating scenarios.
 
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AgainstAllOdds

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These still don't certainly determine whether you'll 'get the girl' though.

Not at all. There's no solid formula for getting a girl.

My point is simply that money isn't going to solve your girl problems, and in the hierarchy of attractive attributes, it's lower than physique and personality.
 

Bhanu

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I agree with you to certain extent . But if you are in great body shape ,look good, tall ,dark handsome and have no money girl wont stay with you long .
I think we need to balance between the two . You should have money and good healthy body/face/skin etc to attract girl and have them for life.
If you are super rich but not taking care of your body your girl will go and have fun with other guys.
If you are handsome ,healthy girl will be attracted to you but wont stay with you long if you can't fulfill her financial need.
For boys I think it varies from society to society . Like in my country a self made girl/rich girl unfortunately is still looked down upon. In my country majority of boys want a homely girl (who takes care of home/child ) husband takes care of finances etc.
 
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D

Deleted50669

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The post below is a fair warning for guys that are on this forum and in entrepreneurship for the wrong reasons. If you're looking to make money to get the girl, then you're doing it wrong. There's easier ways to get the girl, and if that's your sole purpose for making money, then you should read my post below and reevaluate your process. Money should not be your priority.

Lately I've talked to too many misguided guys and read too many misguided posts about attracting women. The general thought process in business communities is: If You Get Money --> You'll Attract Women. This is a thought process that has been embedded into us by society - movies, books, tv shows, and advertising. The idea is that the guy with the mansion, sports car, Rolex, etc. is the one that can get the girl. He's the only one that can attract her and make her fall in love, and without money, no attractive girl will ever love him.

Well I'm here to tell you that that's complete bullshit.

When it comes to attracting attractive women, the #1 currency is not money, but physical appearance. Money is likely #3 for most women after personality at #2.

Read that again, let that sink in, and think about it from the girl's perspective. Let's go through an example.

Let's say you're an attractive Asian girl in her 20's. You have the option between the following two guys:

XhqWijr.png


This guy.

AU7FBqy.png


Or this guy.

Who do you choose?

The pictures above I took from Instagram. I typed in Shangri-La Singapore to find the first guy. His pics are tagged with #offwhite #louisvuitton #champagne, and a bunch of other namebrand bullshit. The second guy I searched "muay thai" and found him. I won't link the direct instagrams as that won't be appropriate, but let me give you a breakdown of these two.

The first guy has most of his pictures in fancy places. Eating fancy dinners. Sports cars. Bottles of champagne. Luxury brand clothing. From Singapore. He's obviously wealthy.

The second guy has pictures of him playing basketball. In some cheap gym training. Hanging out with family. Nothing special. From the Philippines. Lower class in terms of wealth.

But you know who has sexier girls with him on his instagram?

You guessed it, the second guy.

Women don't want to marry and have kids with some ugly lame guy. If they do, their kids will come out ugly and unattractive. For most women, the thought of their kids is enough to turn them off from the ugly rich guys. They want to be around someone that they're comfortable around and proud to be with. Physical appearance is often the first thing they look at. Now I know that's hard to accept since we've been taught that men want physical attractiveness, and women want "security", but that's bullshit. We live in a time where women make enough to sustain themselves and don't have to sacrifice personal happiness for extra comfort.

Don't believe me?


Here. Pick a random bar/beach/day club that is economically within reason for the majority of people. Then go through the pictures. Find me a picture of an attractive girl with a fat ugly guy. Outside of Vegas and whore towns, you won't find it.

Now, think of it from your perspective as a guy:

hVTYPDZ.png


You have the choice between this woman.

OMr8wTE.png


Or this one.

Another two pictures that I took off instagram.

Who do you choose?

The first one is incredibly rich. Has her pictures in fancy hotels, shopping for purses, eating at expensive restaurants. Dating her can change your life. Do you date her?

Or do you date the second girl? She's broke, but has enough money to get her eyelashes done, makeup, and a simple haircut. She diets and works out, so she looks good. If you date her, you'll have to pay for at least half of all expenses and will have to be the primary breadwinner the rest of your life.

Assuming they have the same personalities, who's your pick?

Unless you have weird tastes for fat women, or are some sort of financial psychopath, the girl you likely chose is the second one.

... And that's my point. It's almost the same for women, and explains why rich women will cheat on their husbands with the gym instructor. Or why the boy toy will have a real girl that he's in love with.

Physical appearance is the #1 currency for attracting physically attractive women. Personality likely #2 for most women, and money #3.

So in summary: You attract who you are. Money helps, but it's not the end-all-be-all. If your goal in entrepreneurship is to get the girl, then you're doing it wrong. Instead, go on bodybuilding.com, or check out this guy on youtube: Jeremy Ethier. Take a different approach to getting the girl. After that, reassess if you want money.
I think physical attractiveness is definitely the primary criterion, but I also believe wealth is more pronounced as a selector than you're making it out to be. While women are evaluating attractiveness and behavior, they are also very cognizant of lifestyle. Especially millennial women. No women wants to hitch themselves to a guy who's gone most of the day and can't provide travel, cool experiences, other
 

YanC

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Don't pursue the girl. Pursue excellence, in all areas of your life, be the best version of yourself, and the girl will come along.

Credits to George Bruno for this one.
 
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MJ DeMarco

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I don't think it is this black and white.

In my exhaustive dating experience (and it is exhaustive) I found that women tend to look for the "total package". Attractiveness is a heavy factor in their package analysis.

In fact, we can think of "the total package" is like the CENTS commandments. The women commandments could be like this:

  • Attractiveness
  • Fitness
  • Security (Money)
  • Experiences (somewhat tied to money)
  • Intelligence
  • Humor
  • Stability
  • (Enter any other criteria)

As for how each of these criteria are weighted, it depends on the woman.

Some don't care about humor.

Yet some will date an less attractive man if he makes her laugh and is stable.

If you're an attractive man and spend your life at the gym, but live at home with mom and can't take spend money on some of the simplest things (Say a meal out, a day pass to the museum) some ladies will look elsewhere. That isn't "gold digging" but just a having a "weight" on being able to provide security and stability. Women want a man, not a boy who needs another mamma.

So is attractiveness the heaviest weight for most women?

In my experience it is. But not just attractiveness, but physical characteristics.

I lost count on how many times I've been rejected by a woman simply because I wasn't tall enough. When I was actively dating, it happened more often than not. Yup, sorry you're three inches shorter than I'd like -- so adios. I don't care about your money, your personality, your jokes, your "save the world" mentality, or your intellect -- you're too short.

Don't pursue the girl. Pursue excellence, in all areas of your life, be the best version of yourself, and the girl will come along.

Credits to George Bruno for this one.

In other words, this means optimize yourself at being the total package ... the well defined man.

And then you won't have lady issues.

Would love to hear a woman's perspective.

Let's hear it ladies!
 

AgainstAllOdds

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I think physical attractiveness is definitely the primary criterion, but I also believe wealth is more pronounced as a selector than you're making it out to be. While women are evaluating attractiveness and behavior, they are also very cognizant of lifestyle. Especially millennial women. No women wants to hitch themselves to a guy who's gone most of the day and can't provide travel, cool experiences, other

I agree completely, and want to expand that there is a point of diminishing returns. I don't know exactly what point that is, but it starts to taper off after a set income.

As you said, if you can provide the girl with vacation, restaurants, a home in a nice neighborhood, a decent car, then you should be fine.

The only "datapoint" I can find on the topic is a tabloid article: Experts say men become more attractive to women when their income hits THIS number.

According to some study: 3,500 Pounds per month (4,500 USD) is the point at which you become "sexy".

Once you can provide the middle class lifestyle, you're good.

At that point your focus should be on business if you want to create time freedom for yourself and your future family, but it should be physical appearance and personality (how interesting you are), if your goal is attracting the opposite sex.

Note: If someone finds a better study, I'd love to see it. I don't have much faith in the one above, it's just the only one I could find.
 

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Well then, in that case for guys who're short and not handsome, I guess we need to say good bye to this world.....
 

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Don't pursue the girl. Pursue excellence, in all areas of your life, be the best version of yourself, and the girl will come along.

Credits to George Bruno for this one.

Very true.

I have seen short balding guys with confidence walk straight up to a hot girl during the day and have them laughing and get a date that same evening.

I have also seen tall jacked guys sit in the corner of a nightclub and be unable to talk to anyone.

A massive factor is mental and how you see yourself.

A guy who has worked on his confidence and swagger can do really well in life regardless of he is broke/short/whatever.

Once you got the core confidence down then any external factors you can work on are great - money, status, health, style, access.

If you don’t have that core confidence and try to plaster over it with money you are sure to run into massive trouble down the line. It might buy you attention but it will never get you real love or affection.
 

AgainstAllOdds

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Well then, in that case for guys who're short and not handsome, I guess we need to say good bye to this world.....

Not at all. You just have to concentrate on what you can control.

As @MJ DeMarco said, there's different criteria that go into the package.

If you can't control your height, then concentrate on what you can control.

Experiences, Intelligence, Humor, Stability, Money etc.

Physically, in most countries male physical attractiveness is defined first by low body fat percentages, and second by muscle density. If you can get your body fat down to an athletic level, and put on some muscle to be aesthetically pleasing, then you'll have a huge leg up on your taller competition. Get nice clothes. Be well groomed. A nice haircut.

Control what you can. Don't sweat it with what you can't
 

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Everyone's gonna go straight into the "you can't oversimplify" or "this doesn't apply to all people", and while all that is true - @AgainstAllOdds states outright he's trying to help younger guys that think money is gonna solve their lady problems. To that end, and in general, all points are valid. Put it this way:

Being physically fit might not be highest priority on every girl's list, but it's a universal truth that fitness will only make your prospects better. No woman ever said: "That dude has a great personality, but I wish he didn't have washboard abs and steel cable forearms"

EDIT: there's hope for ugly dudes. I'm ugly as sin and Mrs Gman is a very pretty lady. That said, she'd probably straight up attack me every day if I hit the gym on the regular..... gets a man thinking,.... where's that LA Fitness card I had?
 

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The post below is a fair warning for guys that are on this forum and in entrepreneurship for the wrong reasons. If you're looking to make money to get the girl, then you're doing it wrong. There's easier ways to get the girl, and if that's your sole purpose for making money, then you should read my post below and reevaluate your process. Money should not be your priority.

Lately I've talked to too many misguided guys and read too many misguided posts about attracting women. The general thought process in business communities is: If You Get Money --> You'll Attract Women. This is a thought process that has been embedded into us by society - movies, books, tv shows, and advertising. The idea is that the guy with the mansion, sports car, Rolex, etc. is the one that can get the girl. He's the only one that can attract her and make her fall in love, and without money, no attractive girl will ever love him.

Well I'm here to tell you that that's complete bullshit.

When it comes to attracting attractive women, the #1 currency is not money, but physical appearance. Money is likely #3 for most women after personality at #2.

Read that again, let that sink in, and think about it from the girl's perspective. Let's go through an example.

Let's say you're an attractive Asian girl in her 20's. You have the option between the following two guys:

XhqWijr.png


This guy.

AU7FBqy.png


Or this guy.

Who do you choose?

The pictures above I took from Instagram. I typed in Shangri-La Singapore to find the first guy. His pics are tagged with #offwhite #louisvuitton #champagne, and a bunch of other namebrand bullshit. The second guy I searched "muay thai" and found him. I won't link the direct instagrams as that won't be appropriate, but let me give you a breakdown of these two.

The first guy has most of his pictures in fancy places. Eating fancy dinners. Sports cars. Bottles of champagne. Luxury brand clothing. From Singapore. He's obviously wealthy.

The second guy has pictures of him playing basketball. In some cheap gym training. Hanging out with family. Nothing special. From the Philippines. Lower class in terms of wealth.

But you know who has sexier girls with him on his instagram?

You guessed it, the second guy.

Women don't want to marry and have kids with some ugly lame guy. If they do, their kids will come out ugly and unattractive. For most women, the thought of their kids is enough to turn them off from the ugly rich guys. They want to be around someone that they're comfortable around and proud to be with. Physical appearance is often the first thing they look at. Now I know that's hard to accept since we've been taught that men want physical attractiveness, and women want "security", but that's bullshit. We live in a time where women make enough to sustain themselves and don't have to sacrifice personal happiness for extra comfort.

Don't believe me?


Here. Pick a random bar/beach/day club that is economically within reason for the majority of people. Then go through the pictures. Find me a picture of an attractive girl with a fat ugly guy. Outside of Vegas and whore towns, you won't find it.

Now, think of it from your perspective as a guy:

hVTYPDZ.png


You have the choice between this woman.

OMr8wTE.png


Or this one.

Another two pictures that I took off instagram.

Who do you choose?

The first one is incredibly rich. Has her pictures in fancy hotels, shopping for purses, eating at expensive restaurants. Dating her can change your life. Do you date her?

Or do you date the second girl? She's broke, but has enough money to get her eyelashes done, makeup, and a simple haircut. She diets and works out, so she looks good. If you date her, you'll have to pay for at least half of all expenses and will have to be the primary breadwinner the rest of your life.

Assuming they have the same personalities, who's your pick?

Unless you have weird tastes for fat women, or are some sort of financial psychopath, the girl you likely chose is the second one.

... And that's my point. It's almost the same for women, and explains why rich women will cheat on their husbands with the gym instructor. Or why the boy toy will have a real girl that he's in love with.

Physical appearance is the #1 currency for attracting physically attractive women. Personality likely #2 for most women, and money #3.

So in summary: You attract who you are. Money helps, but it's not the end-all-be-all. If your goal in entrepreneurship is to get the girl, then you're doing it wrong. Instead, go on bodybuilding.com, or check out this guy on youtube: Jeremy Ethier. Take a different approach to getting the girl. After that, reassess if you want money.

It's not even about getting the girl anymore. IT'S ABOUT KEEPING HER! Plenty of factors come in to play when dating or trying to build a relationship with a date. Money is very sexy to most(society changed what nature intended). We're not going to say money does not attract cause I've seen the type of women guys with an abundance of money get. But the thing about it is; IT'S ONLY TEMPORARY! The old saying goes, "She's not yours. It's just your turn." No matter how much money you have or don't have...She'll find another. As a man, you should never chase the woman. As I get older, I'm realizing that chasing the dream and ignoring the woman will actually work in a man's favor. Women will see the hard working, no nonsense guy as value because he doesn't NEED her in his life. The fastest way to lose a woman is to treat her like you love her. Treat her like she's not needed. She'll be trying to make you need her by trying to impress you. These are facts from my perspective. Men are wired differently than women. Men want sex...Women want stability, protection, entertainment, the sun, the moon, disney world, ...etc. It's an uphill battle but it's part of life.
 
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dkostadinov01

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You need combination of both(and which is very possible to achieve and frankly easy).
Create a future or a vision rather where you see yourself with a hot gf and your kids wouldn't be poor.

As for getting good with girls, being secure and a normal human being attracts the hottest.
A person who is secure with himself wouldn't have the need to brag about his money for an example and even thought this is a surface level positivity(yeah lots of money and having fun). Hot girls are much more emotional and see the bigger picture behind the image.

TLDR: I don't think Dan Bilzerian sleeps with the hottest girls because of his money;
 

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I agree, the biggest mistake you can make is to try to become more attractive with money and material items.

Focus on your character, personality, self-esteem and style.

Self-reflection+Self-awareness=Self-esteem
 

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The post below is a fair warning for guys that are on this forum and in entrepreneurship for the wrong reasons. If you're looking to make money to get the girl, then you're doing it wrong. There's easier ways to get the girl, and if that's your sole purpose for making money, then you should read my post below and reevaluate your process. Money should not be your priority.

Lately I've talked to too many misguided guys and read too many misguided posts about attracting women. The general thought process in business communities is: If You Get Money --> You'll Attract Women. This is a thought process that has been embedded into us by society - movies, books, tv shows, and advertising. The idea is that the guy with the mansion, sports car, Rolex, etc. is the one that can get the girl. He's the only one that can attract her and make her fall in love, and without money, no attractive girl will ever love him.

Well I'm here to tell you that that's complete bullshit.

When it comes to attracting attractive women, the #1 currency is not money, but physical appearance. Money is likely #3 for most women after personality at #2.

Read that again, let that sink in, and think about it from the girl's perspective. Let's go through an example.

Let's say you're an attractive Asian girl in her 20's. You have the option between the following two guys:

XhqWijr.png


This guy.

AU7FBqy.png


Or this guy.

Who do you choose?

The pictures above I took from Instagram. I typed in Shangri-La Singapore to find the first guy. His pics are tagged with #offwhite #louisvuitton #champagne, and a bunch of other namebrand bullshit. The second guy I searched "muay thai" and found him. I won't link the direct instagrams as that won't be appropriate, but let me give you a breakdown of these two.

The first guy has most of his pictures in fancy places. Eating fancy dinners. Sports cars. Bottles of champagne. Luxury brand clothing. From Singapore. He's obviously wealthy.

The second guy has pictures of him playing basketball. In some cheap gym training. Hanging out with family. Nothing special. From the Philippines. Lower class in terms of wealth.

But you know who has sexier girls with him on his instagram?

You guessed it, the second guy.

Women don't want to marry and have kids with some ugly lame guy. If they do, their kids will come out ugly and unattractive. For most women, the thought of their kids is enough to turn them off from the ugly rich guys. They want to be around someone that they're comfortable around and proud to be with. Physical appearance is often the first thing they look at. Now I know that's hard to accept since we've been taught that men want physical attractiveness, and women want "security", but that's bullshit. We live in a time where women make enough to sustain themselves and don't have to sacrifice personal happiness for extra comfort.

Don't believe me?


Here. Pick a random bar/beach/day club that is economically within reason for the majority of people. Then go through the pictures. Find me a picture of an attractive girl with a fat ugly guy. Outside of Vegas and whore towns, you won't find it.

Now, think of it from your perspective as a guy:

hVTYPDZ.png


You have the choice between this woman.

OMr8wTE.png


Or this one.

Another two pictures that I took off instagram.

Who do you choose?

The first one is incredibly rich. Has her pictures in fancy hotels, shopping for purses, eating at expensive restaurants. Dating her can change your life. Do you date her?

Or do you date the second girl? She's broke, but has enough money to get her eyelashes done, makeup, and a simple haircut. She diets and works out, so she looks good. If you date her, you'll have to pay for at least half of all expenses and will have to be the primary breadwinner the rest of your life.

Assuming they have the same personalities, who's your pick?

Unless you have weird tastes for fat women, or are some sort of financial psychopath, the girl you likely chose is the second one.

... And that's my point. It's almost the same for women, and explains why rich women will cheat on their husbands with the gym instructor. Or why the boy toy will have a real girl that he's in love with.

Physical appearance is the #1 currency for attracting physically attractive women. Personality likely #2 for most women, and money #3.

So in summary: You attract who you are. Money helps, but it's not the end-all-be-all. If your goal in entrepreneurship is to get the girl, then you're doing it wrong. Instead, go on bodybuilding.com, or check out this guy on youtube: Jeremy Ethier. Take a different approach to getting the girl. After that, reassess if you want money.
Let me try to put things into perspective.

Get the money then the girls will follow. Is that right? Whats wrong with it?

In many ways it is right, theoretically. Cross-cultural surveys were done, on many countries from India to Germany. Men place heavy emphasis on looks while women place heavier emphasis on resources.

Men with wealth has far more bargaining power than women with looks. Top 1 percent of women might have a 9.5/10 in looks but there are far less multimillionaires in proportion. Thats why in any society you have involuntary single men but also abundance of beauty chasing wealthy and powerful men.

To digress a bit on looks, my impression was that women are not looking into fighters and bodybuilders as ideal physical types. They are more into male actors.

The big problem with the strategy “money first then girls will follow” is the same as “money first then XYZ ....will follow”. What if it takes times. What if you cannot make it?(blasphemy in self-help industry! Someone gonna shoot me down for propagating limiting beliefs).

1) It is incredibly difficult to be a multimillionaire (ya people will bash me here for saying that)
2) The cost of waiting is not zero. Not just girls but a lot of things. Business have sacrifice. You can be a monk and save sex for ten years later but your bodies may not perform as well to make you fully satisfied. What about children? Your sperm quality does degenerate to a less extend. You want to marry someone 10-15 years young. Sure you have options because you are successful It’s a smaller pool of good looking women who are open minded about that. In a way you are forced into a situation that is segregated from the norm. It is going to be somewhat different kind of experience.

3) Conclusion is: building a business for the SOLE PURPOSE of having women is likely to drive you into misery. It is far MORE EASIER to just get a stupid above average paying slow lane job, stay fit and eat clean, and learn some communication skills to advertise yourself to the 9 and 9.5 chicks you will achieve that goal much easily, because most hot chicks will fail to get rich and successful guys because they are SO FEW (some of they are gay, some will stay loyal to their not so good looking early day sweethearts and some love their business more than shopping for girls) and they have to settle with the next best deal which is YOU.
 
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D

Deleted50669

Guest
Let me try to put things into perspective.

Get the money then the girls will follow. Is that right? Whats wrong with it?

In many ways it is right, theoretically. Cross-cultural surveys were done, on many countries from India to Germany. Men place heavy emphasis on looks while women place heavier emphasis on resources.

Men with wealth has far more bargaining power than women with looks. Top 1 percent of women might have a 9.5/10 in looks but there are far less multimillionaires in proportion. Thats why in any society you have involuntary single men but also abundance of beauty chasing wealthy and powerful men.

To digress a bit on looks, my impression was that women are not looking into fighters and bodybuilders as ideal physical types. They are more into male actors.

The big problem with the strategy “money first then girls will follow” is the same as “money first then XYZ ....will follow”. What if it takes times. What if you cannot make it?(blasphemy in self-help industry! Someone gonna shoot me down for propagating limiting beliefs).

1) It is incredibly difficult to be a multimillionaire (ya people will bash me here for saying that)
2) The cost of waiting is not zero. Not just girls but a lot of things. Business have sacrifice. You can be a monk and save sex for ten years later but your bodies may not perform as well to make you fully satisfied. What about children? Your sperm quality does degenerate to a less extend. You want to marry someone 10-15 years young. Sure you have options because you are successful It’s a smaller pool of good looking women who are open minded about that. In a way you are forced into a situation that is segregated from the norm. It is going to be somewhat different kind of experience.

3) Conclusion is: building a business for the SOLE PURPOSE of having women is likely to drive you into misery. It is far MORE EASIER to just get a stupid above average paying slow lane job, stay fit and eat clean, and learn some communication skills to advertise yourself to the 9 and 9.5 chicks you will achieve that goal much easily, because most hot chicks will fail to get rich and successful guys because they are SO FEW (some of they are gay, some will stay loyal to their not so good looking early day sweethearts and some love their business more than shopping for girls) and they have to settle with the next best deal which is YOU.
If Dan Bilzerian wasn't taking half the women we wouldn't even have to have this discussion!
 

AceVentures

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I don't think it is this black and white.

In my exhaustive dating experience (and it is exhaustive) I found that women tend to look for the "total package". Attractiveness is a heavy factor in their package analysis.

In fact, we can think of "the total package" is like the CENTS commandments. The women commandments could be like this:

  • Attractiveness
  • Fitness
  • Security (Money)
  • Experiences (somewhat tied to money)
  • Intelligence
  • Humor
  • Stability
  • (Enter any other criteria)

As for how each of these criteria are weighted, it depends on the woman.

Some don't care about humor.

Yet some will date an less attractive man if he makes her laugh and is stable.

If you're an attractive man and spend your life at the gym, but live at home with mom and can't take spend money on some of the simplest things (Say a meal out, a day pass to the museum) some ladies will look elsewhere. That isn't "gold digging" but just a having a "weight" on being able to provide security and stability. Women want a man, not a boy who needs another mamma.

So is attractiveness the heaviest weight for most women?

In my experience it is. But not just attractiveness, but physical characteristics.

I lost count on how many times I've been rejected by a woman simply because I wasn't tall enough. When I was actively dating, it happened more often than not. Yup, sorry you're three inches shorter than I'd like -- so adios. I don't care about your money, your personality, your jokes, your "save the world" mentality, or your intellect -- you're too short.



In other words, this means optimize yourself at being the total package ... the well defined man.

And then you won't have lady issues.

Would love to hear a woman's perspective.

Let's hear it ladies!

I agree with MJ here. One thing I would like to add is in relation to gender dynamics.

Most folks I've met in my life have no F*cking idea about the polarities between genders. I'm all gungho for equal rights between men and women, but there are genetic, biological differences between men and women that have implications on relationship/sex dynamics. This needs to be better understood by both men and women.

A great book I recommend is called "The Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida. In his book, he explores masculinity and femininity, and their relationship with one another. I love love love this book and couldn't recommend it enough to every man AND woman.

Outside of game, attractiveness, and assets (and a host of other characteristics, some of which MJ outlined), a key strength in relationship/sex success is understanding and playing your gender role. I'm personally attracted to red-hot temperament ultra-feminine women, and I'm naturally very masculine. When I play my role at my best, namely by remaining focused on my mission in life, I attract so so much more.

The feminine's goal is to love you, the masculine's goal is to pursue something greater than himself. If you live your life by this standard, women (who share a very feminine core) will naturally be more drawn to your masculine core, knowing they have to compete for your attention, and that you will always have something more grand you must accomplish will keep them wanting to support you in your quest.

One thing to remember, is that men and women can both express varying levels of masculinity/femininity. You can have successful relationships where the conventional gender roles are switched, but the relationship is still wildly successful because the polarities are well balanced. Issues arise when you're a very masculine person and you try to date a women who expresses a more masculine nature. Or vice versa (the cuck and his hotwife).

For 80% of the cases, where the man is very masculine and the woman is feminine: Men that start "loving their wife day and night" and do nothing else become... boring. Men who aren't chased by dozens of other women become... boring because there is no competitive anxiety to chase after this man. If you're a high value individual (fame, wealth, assets, physical traits) and are committed to your life-mission, you will invariable attract and retain love/mates. How good looking they are, however, could be capped based on your looks.


EXTRA: I've starting lifting seriously for almost 1.5 years now. I have a full 6-8 pack abs and sub10% body fat. People that say looks don't matter - you're F*cking kidding yourself. I've never pulled more in my life than I do today. Taking your shirt off at the pool and every girl AND guy stare at you - money can't buy that. Making love to a girl and she is so attracted to you physically that she's pulling you, screaming in orgasm, and just super turned-on by you - money can't buy that shit. Money can't buy RAW DESIRE. It CANNOT be negotiated. Do with that what you will, but if you're worried that you're short (as am I) go lift some F*cking weights, become athletic, become a better lover in bed, improve your aesthetic. Quit crying (niceguy behavior) that some girl doesn't love you "for who you are on the inside". Nobody gives a shit that you're a high integrity person and you live life by all the rules. You don't "deserve" love because you're a nice person.

 
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dkostadinov01

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I agree with MJ here. One thing I would like to add is in relation to gender dynamics.

Most folks I've met in my life have no F*cking idea about the polarities between genders. I'm all gungho for equal rights between men and women, but there are genetic, biological differences between men and women that have implications on relationship/sex dynamics. This needs to be better understood by both men and women.

A great book I recommend is called "The Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida. In his book, he explores masculinity and femininity, and their relationship with one another. I love love love this book and couldn't recommend it enough to every man AND woman.

Outside of game, attractiveness, and assets (and a host of other characteristics, some of which MJ outlined), a key strength in relationship/sex success is understanding and playing your gender role. I'm personally attracted to red-hot temperament ultra-feminine women, and I'm naturally very masculine. When I play my role at my best, namely by remaining focused on my mission in life, I attract so so much more.

The feminine's goal is to love you, the masculine's goal is to pursue something greater than himself. If you live your life by this standard, women (who share a very feminine core) will naturally be more drawn to your masculine core, knowing they have to compete for your attention, and that you will always have something more grand you must accomplish will keep them wanting to support you in your quest.

One thing to remember, is that men and women can both express varying levels of masculinity/femininity. You can have successful relationships where the conventional gender roles are switched, but the relationship is still wildly successful because the polarities are well balanced. Issues arise when you're a very masculine person and you try to date a women who expresses a more masculine nature. Or vice versa (the cuck and his hotwife).

For 80% of the cases, where the man is very masculine and the woman is feminine: Men that start "loving their wife day and night" and do nothing else become... boring. Men who aren't chased by dozens of other women become... boring because there is no competitive anxiety to chase after this man. If you're a high value individual (fame, wealth, assets, physical traits) and are committed to your life-mission, you will invariable attract and retain love/mates. How good looking they are, however, could be capped based on your looks.

This is so on-point.

However I didn't at all get the part where Men who aren't chased by dozens of other women become boring.
I think this applies to men who are boring to begin with. Let's say you have a girlfriend but still have a lifelong mission too. The woman will always try to be your number 1 and If you are more focused on your mission. Her journey of trying to become your 1 will never be boring. Besides, this is a very nice exercise to change your mentality towards the right one.
 
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AceVentures

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This is so on-point.

However I didn't at all get the part where Men who aren't chased by dozens of other women become boring.
I think this applies to men who are boring to begin with. Let's say you have a girlfriend but still have a lifelong mission too. The woman will always try to be your number 1 and If you are more focused on your mission. Her journey of trying to become your 1 will never be boring. Besides, this is a very nice exercise to change your mentality towards the right one.

I think you might be right. If you're focused on your mission however, as a by-product and perhaps unintentionally, you will also be sought after by many people. It's not that you become boring if you're unwanted, but by definition when you offer value to the world and to people around you while committed to your mission, people are drawn. It does work in your favor for your woman's competitive anxiety to be in gear. Maybe not because she's afraid of losing you to other women (although that works magic), but perhaps because she's afraid she'll lose you to your mission which far outweighs her importance in your life.
 
D

DeletedUser0287

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Physical appearance is the #1 currency for attracting physically attractive women. Personality likely #2 for most women, and money #3.

Nah dude. Dating is a marketplace. Exactly like business. In a marketplace there is your target demographic (women) and you (the product). In order to make yourself more attractive to women you find out what value skew you need to have to appeal to your target demographic.

Obviously this is going to be a generalization, but this is what I have seen. In the dating marketplace, women are measured based on physical attractiveness. Men are based not necessarily on money or looks, but STATUS.

STATUS is the most important thing. Status and money tend to go hand in hand though. If you are famous, you are more likely to become rich. If a girl sees you are positively viewed aka popular by your friends and strangers. Then you win. Money does help with women because it enhances your status.

EDIT: Forgot to add about Macro and micro variables. Status is macro. Micro variables are looks, etc. But micro variables only matter only if you are at the extreme, aka dead ugly. No amount of status gonna compensate for that.
 
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