Yes, that’s why I said that the change must be enforced in the beginning. Someone has to force you to do those things. If you can run away or retreat you’d be breaking the process, which is exactly how people behave as adults, which is why most don’t change.And if his environment changes to back to what it was? It wouldn't be a lasting change if throwing yourself out of that environment would change you behavior again.
For example, surround me with party-goers and I won't change. I'll simply retreat.
I find it strange that despite all the adaptability we have as human beings, we aren't really that easily adaptable to such little things, let alone the big ones.
I’d be much the same if placed amongst the party goers. But that’s because I’m now an adult - and I can make my own choices. As a kid though, you can’t do that. Your family is going to a party, you don’t want to go, tough luck, you’re going! Friends are coming over for a party? You don’t want that? Tough luck, you have nowhere to go!
The environment and your identity are self-reinforcing. By the time a new identity has crystalized, your environment is quite entrenched, to the point that you’ll fight to defend it. So once that change is achieved, you’ve presumably cut ties completely with your old environment.
Think of someone leaving drugs or a life of crime behind. To be successful, they get rid of all their old friends, acquaintances, places they used to go to, everything!
After that, they will defend against that environment ever trying to creep back in.
You’re loyal to those values because it’s part of your identity. Part of how you’ve been conditioned.For me it's just because I don't work well with other people and wouldn't want to have such a lifestyle. But then the question is: why am I so loyal to these values? Maybe writing comes easy to me but maybe this would also come easy. I've never tried so I can't tell with certainty.
If you hadn’t been successful with self-publishing initially, maybe necessity would have conditioned you differently. Same if you grew up in a different family or in a different culture.
The same is true for me. Imagine the first time I tried my hand as a teenager at making money by selling services online I wouldn’t have made any… then I wouldn’t have gone into this fulltime after college, I wouldn’t have developed the skillset I did, and likely I wouldn’t be doing any consulting/coaching today. It’s all tied together.
Sometimes you wonder if your biggest successes aren’t also your biggest chains. What could you have achieved had you failed?
Yes that’s true… but, if this occurs later in life, it’s usually related to something they’ve done or had experience in before.Similarly, you can't tell that a different business model wouldn't come easy to you.
There are stories of people who tried something for the first time and quickly realized that somehow they're much better at it than others. Nims Purja comes to mind. He had never climbed any big mountains in his life and suddenly became one of the greatest at it.
Nims Purja - he may not have climbed big mountains BUT he was familiar with living off very scarce resources (his family was very poor), he was used to pain and struggle (practicing kickboxing), and used to discipline and managing one’s environment (military experience). So he had most of the skills required for success in climbing already. It’s normal that it would come natural to him.
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