When your back's against the wall...

[LittleWolfie]

but all in your language is victimisation and excuses.

That''s good advice. So every single word? I do keep asking people to tell me which words.

Your mentality makes you the type of people you never wanna meet.

Then how do you explain people who want to meet me? How do I have friends? The people who matter don't mind my language and the people who mind don't matter. Or do you mean for sales? Note this is an English issue. In German the problem never occurs since Nein is never seen as negative word, (except in the logical sense) it is a simple statement of fact the opposite of Ya(Yes)

You have to use Natter and Yahwhol to get the tone in. This is one of the reasons Germans are sterotyped as rude and blunt, there is no culture against saying No, Not possible or impossible )

It is also why I am learning German.

, you just have to talk about what you're offering and see if they interested.

That sounds like sales to me.

So please, exit the "i can't" "but" " for me it's impossible", because for me this type of people are losers, and no one wants to stay with them, always negative.

Sure what synonyms do you reccomend? For me the kind of people who say things like "can't isn't in my volcabulary" are losers, I want to have nothing to do with.

I'm more upset by people pretending to be honest, than honestly being negative, although I'm diagnosed as struggling to tell the difference(I can show you the medical paperwork, if you like, since I'm unable to say it is impossible) it is really hard to phrase that sentence.

How the F*ck can you complain.

I'm not. How can you think I am?

In military, when they are underwater and are nearly drowning in the buds, they think always of the positive situation

If they think like that then why are their lifeboats on their ships? That's thinking of a pretty bad thing, as are ejector seats. You have to think of the negative situations to be able to put in place the things that help later.

think like that and you gonna attract good people.
I promise you, no more losers in your life

I'm uninterested in attracting good perople, I want to attract paying customers whom will pay me for goods or services I can provide.

I see no losers in my life.

 

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[Johnny boy]

What advice would you give someone who's back is against the wall?

It’s a good time to think back at when times were good and you were lazy and wasteful. Remind yourself that you got yourself here and don’t let it happen again and get lazy when times are good.

 

[Andy Black]

My version of “diesel and coffee” is a Zoom call. To me that phrase means “make the effort to meet them somewhere neutral or where they hang out, and then just have a chat”. AKA don’t have any agenda other than to learn about them and build a relationship.

 

[Andy Black]

@LittleWolfie

Maybe this thread might help:

• Yes, but

If I recall correctly, I had three posts with three lessons in there (so keep reading).

 

[LittleWolfie]

@LittleWolfie

Maybe this thread might help:

• Yes, but

If I recall correctly, I had three posts with three lessons in there (so keep reading).

Useful it seems like no, but is closer to nein than no taht's perhaps natter (which encodes the tone better) I had no idea but was such a powerful word. Although it seems to make it hard to disagree with people. if you have to Yes, and all the time.

Me: It has been proven the earth is flat

Your turn.

To me that phrase means “make the effort to meet them somewhere neutral or where they hang out, and then just have a chat”. AKA don’t have any agenda other than to learn about them and build a relationship.

If that was true then why limit yourself to clients? You could hang outside the unemployment office and learn lots about people and have a chat and a realtionship. Do you?How many homeless people do you keep a relationship with and have coffee with? After all since you have no agenda there abilty to help you is immaterial, right? I think you do have an agenda of building groundwork or establishing a relattionship that migt help you in the future.

This is hard for me to work out, because the only people I want are a relationship with are my friends and family, for everyone else there is an agenda ) I want people here to help me and advise me, or I would be doing something I enjoy.

It seems like more of an extrovert thing, why would I want to give up my reading time to go talk with people? I can do it, however it seems dishonest to pretend I have no agenda,I do and I think people can tell that.

Much cleaner just to tell them why I am there, think what they may.

 

[Andy Black]

Much cleaner just to tell them why I am there, think what they may.

What if you’re there to help them?

 

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[LittleWolfie]

What if you’re there to help them?

Then that is your agenda.(or part of it) Why that person though? There are millions of people in the world that could use a helping hand. Why did you choose to help them? You could have gone to the food bank or soup kitchen instead.

Your answer forms the rest of the agenda. I want to help people and that's why I volunteer at the homeless shelter(they need help,my agenda is to help them)

There are lots of people there whom would love for you to learn about them and build a relationship with them.

Nobody ever goes "networking" or meeting for a coffee, or to learn about them and build a relationship with them though.

If you stopped meeting up with clients and people you worked with you could build an even bigger network of homeless and unemployed people. I'm betting you won't because you always choose people with a higher chance of helping you in the future. Like the farmer planting huis seed corn, you have an agenda. It may be far from haverst time, and you may only harvest some, however nobody grows crops and never harvests.

 

[Andy Black]

Then that is your agenda.(or part of it) Why that person though? There are millions of people in the world that could use a helping hand. Why did you choose to help them? You could have gone to the food bank or soup kitchen instead.

Your answer forms the rest of the agenda. I want to help people and that's why I volunteer at the homeless shelter(they need help,my agenda is to help them)

There are lots of people there whom would love for you to learn about them and build a relationship with them.

Nobody ever goes "networking" or meeting for a coffee, or to learn about them and build a relationship with them though.

If you stopped meeting up with clients and people you worked with you could build an even bigger network of homeless and unemployed people. I'm betting you won't because you always choose people with a higher chance of helping you in the future. Like the farmer planting huis seed corn, you have an agenda. It may be far from haverst time, and you may only harvest some, however nobody grows crops and never harvests.

My favourite business quote:

“Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time, and always start with the person closest to you.”

That’s by Mother Theresa of all people.


Something else to bear in mind:

“Put your own oxygen mask on first.”

I’ll be able to help more people if I’m a better businessman.

Anyway... we each have to figure out how to make this work our own way. If my way doesn’t resonate then try another way.

At the end of the day business is quite simple: Add value. Get paid.

 

[broswoodwork]

@LittleWolfie

Please don't be offended by this, but are you... I probably shouldn't even be asking this... are you on the autism spectrum? My 11 year old son is, so I'm in no way trying to be derogatory, but I'm wondering if folks here may be able to help you better if that info was out there.

Again, sorry if this is too personal or offensive.

 

[LittleWolfie]

“Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time, and always start with the person closest to you.”

That’s by Mother Theresa of all people.

Mother Theresa did have a system for deciding on the next person to treat though. We call it triage. It starts with the person whom has the best chance of survival and whom is most in need. Since she was running a charity rather than a business it makes sense that she should be ignoring numbers and profit.

Something else to bear in mind:

“Put your own oxygen mask on first.”

Sure okay that's about charity still, no one invoices for helping people with their oxygen mask

I’ll be able to help more people if I’m a better businessman.

OK, so your agenda is too become a better businessman via these chats, which helps you to add more value and to help more people. That I can follow, if you want to lie to yourself, it is none of my business.

Anyway... we each have to figure out how to make this work our own way. If my way doesn’t resonate then try another way.

Being honest about having an agenda seems best to me. There is nothing wrong with having one, that's just business.

At the end of the day business is quite simple: Add value. Get paid.

I like it, no mention of relationships, coffee, diesel 'helping people' and explicitly requires you to think about money and numbers although I prefer exchange rather than add value. Indeed it is the fundamental tenet of our economic system that after each transaction both parties feel that they have more value than they had before.

My agenda is to find people (the starving audience) via the internet who have money and offer them a product or service that leads to a mutually beneficial transaction.

It seems intellectually dishonest to pretend otherwise, I can always donate some profits to a charity if I desire.

It is quite annoying that it is a struggle to find the audience and then find out what their struggles are. See how @MattR82 never posted about how his back was against the wall, even though I asked. I guess there is no interest in me trying to solve the problem being faced. I'm really good at coming up with ways to solve problems, automate repeating time-wasting processes. Of course without a problem there is no for me to build and sell a solution.

@LittleWolfie

Please don't be offended by this,

None taken! In fact this is the kind of response I keep trying to get. You ask a question, regarding my circumstances, I explain and we work out other solutions.

This has worked with driving, once I managed to get people to understand that actually I wasn't making excuses regarding driving issues, it took all of 2 hours to find the solution. I'm making good progress with my driving instructor in a car modified for wheelchair- bound drivers.

I probably shouldn't even be asking this... are you on the autism spectrum?

Of course you should be asking this, it is how advice and conversations work. I'm mystified at why I'd be offended. I'm pretty hard to offend anyway.

At the risk of sounding like Sheldon Cooper, my mother had me tested and I'm not on the autism spectrum. I am on the neurodevelopmental disorder spectrum (which the autism spectrum is inside) and some of the things I have been diagnosed often occur with autism, so I that is a common perception/mistake.

I'm wondering if folks here may be able to help you better if that info was out there.

Every-time I have started to explain about my various diagnoses, the usual reaction is excuse, or stop complaining. Rather than an attempt at actually helping me overcome the issues I have provided. I have absolutely no idea how to discuss these issues and sound positive.

By all means try an autistic approach, just bear in mind it could be the wrong approach for me.

 

[broswoodwork]

If you've got some stuff going on, there can be some unique challenges you've got to bridge or eliminate. Sales is a social art and science that can be tough even as an introvert, let alone as a person with a brain wired up differently.

I don't want to hijack this awesome thread though, so I'll try to find you in one of your other threads.

 

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[LittleWolfie]

If you've got some stuff going on, there can be some unique challenges you've got to bridge or eliminate. Sales is a social art and science that can be tough even as an introvert, let alone as a person with a brain wired up differently.

I don't want to hijack this awesome thread though, so I'll try to find you in one of your other threads.

Thanks for the help. They probably make most sense read from the top to the bottom , however they sound more positive from the bottom up.

INTRO - Hello, I don't want to be a millionaire (Basic intro)

EXECUTION - My failed poor executions (warning Long,discussion around my problems ,what I have tried and the issues I am facing.)

2 hard disk laptop (product, I have tried to sell)

EXECUTION - Stock Trading software attempt (another product)

WEB SCHOOL - Working out how to add (almost 3 million ) in an afternoon. (attempt to showcase skills, needs work)

 

[LittleWolfie]

My agenda is to find people (the starving audience) via the internet who have money and offer them a product or service that leads to a mutually beneficial transaction.

After thinking on this, part-barter could also work. I am after marketing/sales services.

 

[Timmy C]

My version of “diesel and coffee” is a Zoom call. To me that phrase means “make the effort to meet them somewhere neutral or where they hang out, and then just have a chat”. AKA don’t have any agenda other than to learn about them and build a relationship.

Diesel and coffee can be many things can't it!

My diesel and coffee tomorrow is a skype meeting, 2 weeks from now its face to face haha.

 

[LittleWolfie]

Sales is a social art and science that can be tough even as an introvert, let alone as a person with a brain wired up differently.

Funnily enough , I have read of literal, analytical & introverted people who have excelled at cross-sales. (on base & commision)

Since it requires research,interviewing customers, forming hypothesis and testing them, rather than the more social aspect of upsales, and new sales.

The issue for me is working out how to replicate that success without going to London every weekend.

 

[LittleWolfie]

As an employee, you would need to reach out to people you've helped with Adwords outside of the context of your employee relationship.

If you helped a business owner from your church set up Adwords on the side (even if it wasn't for pay) then you could email that business owner to see if he needs more help (for pay). That would be working with him. However, if you had provided that same guy Adwords services as part of your daily tasks in your job, then that would be you working for your company and for that client. Therefore, you could not reach out to him as a possible solution for your back against the wall situation, because it creates a conflict of interest with your job.

tl;dr = Context is the difference.

Well, I exchanged contact details with other volunteers at the food bank,none of them have or know anyone in business though. Unable to think of any way on which , I could help them,none of them are business owners for what it is worth.

 

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[Entre Eyes]

When I was Financially Challenged while overseas I have an account I only use for opting in for great info product incentives.

But one day I decided to just hit the reply button on every single one that was emailing me daily or sometimes more than once daily and ask them was there any I.M. related tasks I could complete for them then gave a few samples of things I have accomplished, etc.

The first time some names you would definitely know responded and I got 3 gigs for almost a Thousand Dollars and all 3 paid up front. Yea I was damn lucky but in my head was hey its a numbers game just keep replying. Ha.

From Jam to Bam!

Disclaimer: Sometimes Iron Man dies in the End.

But so did the guy in Kingsman.

 

[astr0]

What advice would you give someone who's back is against the wall?

Long term - think what got you there, what should've been done differently and how not to be in that situation in the future.

Short term pretty much this:

Start sending hand crafted emails to all the people you've ever done work with. Make it friendly, short, and non-needy.

Although I would start with messaging the closest people in some kind of messenger. It's quicker communication and feels more personal to me than an email.

 

[Andy Black]

I keep pointing people to this thread. It’s not just advice for when your back’s against a wall. It’s probably the number one piece of advice I give people who want to get started (along with diesel and coffee).

 

[LittleWolfie]

When I was Financially Challenged while overseas I have an account I only use for opting in for great info product incentives.

But one day I decided to just hit the reply button on every single one that was emailing me daily or sometimes more than once daily and ask them was there any I.M. related tasks I could complete for them then gave a few samples of things I have accomplished, etc.

The first time some names you would definitely know responded and I got 3 gigs for almost a Thousand Dollars and all 3 paid up front. Yea I was damn lucky but in my head was hey its a numbers game just keep replying. Ha.

From Jam to Bam!

Disclaimer: Sometimes Iron Man dies in the End.

But so did the guy in Kingsman.

Gold! What is I.M.?

I keep pointing people to this thread. It’s not just advice for when your back’s against a wall. It’s probably the number one piece of advice I give people who want to get started (along with diesel and coffee).

I think it makes much more sense for when your back is not against the wall. At that point you can afford to invest in “diesel and coffee”.



You can also try it as a way of getting more business and practise for when you do really need it.



It is like insurance. It is tons easier to get when you have no need at that time to make a claim.

 

[Andy Black]

What is I.M.?

Internet Marketing.

It is like insurance. It is tons easier to get when you have no need at that time to make a claim.

Yes, the trick is to have an abundance mindset, even when you're staring at the last coin in your warchest.

 

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[LittleWolfie]

Internet Marketing.

Yes, the trick is to have an abundance mindset, even when you're staring at the last coin in your warchest.

That's not quite what I meant. Like insurance in the way that you are paying to offset risk. You might be paying in time or services provided. You of course take less reward in the good times. That is the trade off though.

 

[Entre Eyes]

Gold! What is I.M.?

Hey my friend as Andy shared I.M. I was referring to Internet Marketing in terms of doing any outsourcing related tasks for fellow marketers.

 

[Andy Black]

I just published a short video today based on the opening post. I've added it to the opening post.

 

[Albert KOUADJA]

Thank you for the post, it conveys a lot of very valuable advice.

I'm not at that stage yet, even if seen from the outside it is. (back to the wall). What holds me back is the financial side. But I think when I will in this position, it will help so much.
thanks you @Andy Black for this thread.

 

[Andy Black]

What holds me back is the financial side.

That's kinda what I meant by having your back against the wall. I'm curious what you mean about the financial side holding you back.

 

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[Albert KOUADJA]

That's kinda what I meant by having your back against the wall. I'm curious what you mean about the financial side holding you back.

.I said, it is the financial side because
in the last few months I've been able to cut expenses/get money out. that said, I was able to stop giving or helping people who are dear: my family (brothers/sister).
A little about my family: I am the eldest of a family of five children (4 boys and a girl, the youngest). one boy does the first, the other the sixth and the last the CM2 (C.E.P). And the girl, she lives with a foster family in another city and her guardians put her in a training center for sewing.

Well let's get back, After paying for their supplies and a first installment of their contributions I managed to find a way to stop sending money each time they are in need. I found them a little financing to allow them to sell something in order toallow me, not to send any more money.I found that I was giving them fish instead of teaching them how to catch fish. And that is not good.

the necessary/obligatory expenses that I have left for them is to pay the last installment of their contribution and the rest (photocopies and small needs) our Mum will take care of it with the small sum that I sent her to market something thing. and as for my sister also, she will manage with what I have sent her.
My mom can no longer manage small expenses in recent months, since she went bankrupt in her business (trade). I had to intervene. so it's all this that I haven't put my site online yet, otherwise the blog part with the comments is already ready. I could regularly publish the articles I produced through personal development/finance books. and then adjust with local store products and make my site a space for e-commerce. Putting my site online is part of my plan for the next month unless there is a problem/unforeseen.
I'm not saying all of this to find and avoid action.

Possible solution:
solutions that I could consider to solve my financial problem to save more and quickly would be to find a better paying job / comfortable salary. but it is a bad solution for my because I will be in a comfortable position and my responsibilities on the family side will be entirely left to me alone. And that wouldn't give me enough motivation to start my own business (comfortable job). so I prefer to keep my shitty little job while waiting for my site to go live and to perfect my coding skills and also for two reasons:
1- I have time to read the books and other things about my plans while I'm there. even sometimes, it's exhausting (8 hours on duty and I must necessarily spend 24 hours on the daycare site before returning home).
2- It allows me to pay bills/internet connection/investment in myself.

Business:
I also managed to get a client to create a website for him. I didn't get it through real prospecting but I got it when I wanted to get my visa card. I have already created adynamic site and responsive site more than a week ago. but he hasn't called me yet to send him his site on the web (domain/hosting), which he promised to do. but I can't say exactly why he hasn't done so yet. But I bet it must be these two reasons:
1- Funding problem for hosting / domain because I created the site for free. I had offered to do this for free since he is my first client. and also because I had the impression that he was not ready to charge for such services even if his activities required him to have a site. I say that because when I told him that I already finished creating the site and that it would cost him around $25 for hosting/buying a domain name, he shouted that it was too much for him.

2-Maybe he doubts the importance or usefulness of the services that this site could provide or simply he doubts whether it would be beneficial to him or not.
but one thing is certain: depending on these activities, he needs to be present online. Or maybe he doubts that I am doing him a bad job, I thought to myself.

In any case, what I could sound if my own q site was already online I could know the real reason.

Plan :

I plan to start an aggressive email and cold calling campaign once my site is live. .I have already collected emails from companies in my city and I plan to contact all my comrades in different cities, so that they can send me emails/numbers from different companies/NGOs and others.

moreover, I know that I should not or I am not obliged to explain things to you especially on the family side but as I work with you, it is necessary or it is necessary so that you can know where I am currently ( progress). do not be discouraged, you who strive to bring great value to this forum. I also know that I didn't keep my word the other time when I said that last September I was going to put my site online. I'm sorry about that. but there is one thing you can be sure/reassured about: starting or owning my own business is a priority of mine and I struggle every day to get there.
I hope anyone who owns one and started from scratch understands the stage I'm going through.

I'll stop there, hope that makes sense.
Thank you all for reading.
There the conversation whith the customer.

 

[DW85014]

I am going through this right now. After working for someone else for 10 years and receiving a "promotion" two months ago, the new CFO is cutting costs and my job is getting cut. My las day is next Friday. I am against the wall. I am finding that I am coming up with so many solutions and so many ways to ride the storm. The best way I am handling it is by first asking myself what is the worst that can happen? That I lose my house, the car, my credit get ruined. What is the best things that can happen? I finally build a sustainable business and never go back to having a job, I lose the weight I put on from sitting all day and eating junk, I spend more time with my family, I take care of myself, I learn a new skill, I take a part time job to pay the necessities and use the rest of the time building, i learn to have more faith in my abilities, learn to trust my gut more, come up with better solutions to my problems. What I can lose are things that can be replaced. So long my family is ok and we are all heathy and happy, That is all that matters to me. I keep telling myself all this is temporary and I will come out of this stronger, better, happier and healthier.

How did you make it through - 5-6 years later?

 

[Andy Black]

Bump.