Describe what being a "Millionaire" feels like.

[MidwestLandlord]

Can you elaborate more about the mindset that you now have? What in your mindset has changed in the last 5 years?

Alright, the short and sweet answer.

For me it was getting away from a mindset of validation seeking. I had a rough childhood (we moved 21 times in 17 years for example), so I spent from ages 17 to 25 seeking validation of my worth through women, money, status, etc.

I WAS that cold-hearted guy that only cared about whether I impressed people at the HS reunion, on the street with my nice car, or in the club when I took a hot girl home.

It's hard to describe, but at some point I realized I was on the wrong path. Who was I trying to impress?

So I took a very simple step, and that was to start learning. About people, myself, money, health, whatever.

As cliche as it sounds, I now realize that there is a whole big world out there, and money/status is only one part of it. My mindset now is that money is really just a tool to get the other things in life that are much more important to me.

Stable life for my kids, seeing new places, helping my disabled mother, getting my wife naked on the beach in Florida without getting caught (haha), and the pride of working hard and building something I can be proud of.

Buying a Mercedes SL450 rag-top was awesome. Not super expensive, but it was my "dream car", at the end of the day though...it's just a car.

Putting the top down and driving through the hills where I live, on a warm summer day, with my wife in the seat next to me laughing at my stupid jokes?

Now THAT'S living.

(I since sold the car to buy another rental property)

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

lolollololo but a 2 or 3 million isn't much in todays world is it! lololol you judge me on my rep loooooooooooool be in the real world guys cmon peace out peasants

Amazing when you warn someone that they're about to walk over a cliff and instead of taking a few steps back, they leap off.

The peasants around here have long educated themselves on how to spot trolls who act like kings of the world when in fact, their only kingship comes from their mum's basement.

 

[andviv]

Wow. These trolls clearly have nothing better to do. Let me look for that Block/Mute botton again...

 

[andviv]

Ah, found it. "Ignore".

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Ah, found it. "Ignore".

Unnecessary-- I banned him.

 

[Andy Black]

Alright, the short and sweet answer.

For me it was getting away from a mindset of validation seeking. I had a rough childhood (we moved 21 times in 17 years for example), so I spent from ages 17 to 25 seeking validation of my worth through women, money, status, etc.

I WAS that cold-hearted guy that only cared about whether I impressed people at the HS reunion, on the street with my nice car, or in the club when I took a hot girl home.

It's hard to describe, but at some point I realized I was on the wrong path. Who was I trying to impress?

So I took a very simple step, and that was to start learning. About people, myself, money, health, whatever.

As cliche as it sounds, I now realize that there is a whole big world out there, and money/status is only one part of it. My mindset now is that money is really just a tool to get the other things in life that are much more important to me.

Stable life for my kids, seeing new places, helping my disabled mother, getting my wife naked on the beach in Florida without getting caught (haha), and the pride of working hard and building something I can be proud of.

Buying a Mercedes SL450 rag-top was awesome. Not super expensive, but it was my "dream car", at the end of the day though...it's just a car.

Putting the top down and driving through the hills where I live, on a warm summer day, with my wife in the seat next to me laughing at my stupid jokes?

Now THAT'S living.

(I since sold the car to buy another rental property)

I believed every word of it till you said your wife laughed at your stupid jokes. That just doesn't sound plausible.



Great story. Thanks for sharing @MidwestLandlord.

Something for the young guns to think about.

 

[EvanOkanagan]

I'm 3/4 of the way there in net worth, so I can't say I've achieved this milestone yet, but can relate somewhat...

I've developed a new circle of friends over the years as a lot of my old friends lifestyles just don't match where I'm going. Those that I've continued being friends with though treat me relatively the same (most likely don't know what I'm worth, since I don't buy anything flashy).

My spending habits haven't changed much since being $50,000 in debt a few years ago to now. In fact, I definitely spend LESS on monthly necessities than I did then... it's almost a game to see how much less I can take my living expenses. What I spend money on now is mainly experiences (travel, events, etc). Though I could have a beautiful brand new Mercedes, expensive watches etc, I could use that money towards investments that are fueling my financial independence.

I used to be affected a considerate amount by eating out, going on roadtrips/travelling, and even buying a couple expensive coffees at the coffee shop. Now, there's very rarely a concern with any of these.

I believe I'll be a millionaire many times over before I look in the bank to see $1,000,000. I had about 200k sitting in an account for a few months earlier this year and it pained me--knowing that money was earning very small interest when I could be putting it towards an asset that could be earning me 5-10x that amount

 

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[TonyStark]

I'm 3/4 of the way there in net worth, so I can't say I've achieved this milestone yet, but can relate somewhat...

I've developed a new circle of friends over the years as a lot of my old friends lifestyles just don't match where I'm going. Those that I've continued being friends with though treat me relatively the same (most likely don't know what I'm worth, since I don't buy anything flashy).

My spending habits haven't changed much since being $50,000 in debt a few years ago to now. In fact, I definitely spend LESS on monthly necessities than I did then... it's almost a game to see how much less I can take my living expenses. What I spend money on now is mainly experiences (travel, events, etc). Though I could have a beautiful brand new Mercedes, expensive watches etc, I could use that money towards investments that are fueling my financial independence.

I used to be affected a considerate amount by eating out, going on roadtrips/travelling, and even buying a couple expensive coffees at the coffee shop. Now, there's very rarely a concern with any of these.

I believe I'll be a millionaire many times over before I look in the bank to see $1,000,000. I had about 200k sitting in an account for a few months earlier this year and it pained me--knowing that money was earning very small interest when I could be putting it towards an asset that could be earning me 5-10x that amount

THIS.

I'm nowhere near a millionaire but I believe you learn to appreciate the value of a dollar more. I agree with @EvanOkanagan that it is almost like a game trying to spend less and less on basic necessities like food, water, shelter, etc.

All in all, I just feel like a have more free time to do the things I want in life and explore the things I want in life. Buying an expensive car or home would only hinder that.

This thread is GOLD.

 

[Niptuck MD]

You nor anyone deserve the best.How can you say you deserve better than others?Do you consider yourself on a higher level than others and that's why you feel like you deserve the best there is?

Not a great mindset to have.You don't deserve anything, you're not on a higher pedestal than others, and if this is your mindset than I'd argue you're lower level than the "inferior people".

I disagree. Lets leave it at that. I respect your stance however.

 

[Niptuck MD]

I don't agree with this. First of all, these people are not inferior. If that's how you think about them, then being successful will not make you happy. Compassion and understanding of their situation will help you be grateful for what you have. If you aren't grateful or appreciative of where you are, then you will still be the same person even if you had a million dollars.

Ive dealt with way more then what compassion and understanding calls for unfortunately. It has taken the "humanist" side of me during business dealings. The world doesnt work like this. Compassion and understanding only work in certain parts of the civilized world. But if one does business in MANY uncivilized parts of the world then life in primal form takes over and its a jungle environment.

 

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[GuestUserX09]

Far from a million, very far, but I've made dramatic increases over the past years. Within the last 4 years:

went about 10x on my income
car note went up by about 20x
expenses went up by about 10x
rent is about to go up next month by about 10x

The early point that I am seeing (as I read tmfl for the 3rd time, 2nd time on audible - s/o @MJ DeMarco) is that I have lots of cool stuff now but it feels not so different because I still have income + bills, both are just larger values now.

@Yussef "Do friends treat me differently" - to be honest, not really. But the girls seem to be more friendly, maybe its just my confidence increase.

@Yussef "Buying the dream house or car, the places you travel now and how your life has changed in general."
- I buy more stuff I want, and actually save more than ever. But its a bit scary thinking about if I make a mistake, I'd have some serious bills to pay.

Icing on the cake, what someone said earlier in the thread, the mental gains I have made make me feel rich. It becomes more evident each day that money and happiness aren't as strongly correlated as I thought several years ago..

However I am aware I cannot use mental health to pay mortgage- so, my ambition to reach several Ms fairly quickly has not lessened, only intensified.

 

[TKDTyler]

I believed every word of it till you said your wife laughed at your stupid jokes. That just doesn't sound plausible.



Great story. Thanks for sharing @MidwestLandlord.

Something for the young guns to think about.

A millionaire.... level headed... AND has a wife?

What has the internet become in 2016...

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Thus far 3 pages of comments can be summed up this way: It isn't the dream that makes the dream, it's reaching for the dream... journeys continue and have milestones, destinations end.

 

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[argelast]

I think that reach the objective of a million it's not like to win the lottery, because you just in the process and don't realise you just hit one million, maybe you are one day thinking about and you think, f.., i did it, i have one million, just like when you graduate, pay you mortgage or make more money at month, don't you think?

Sent from my SM-N910F using Tapatalk

 

[Davel]

You're probably gonna be disappointed with my answer.

First, I celebrated the milestone with dinner. I vividly remember the day. I was elated and proud.

However, please note the source of that feeling. It wasn't the liquid million that created this feeling, it was the achievement. The accomplishment. The process of hitting a goal set years ago.

All of you out there who think "being a millionaire" is some type of elusive status that immediately endows some type of immediate "feeling" I'm here to tell you that the difference between that day, and a few weeks earlier (when I wasn't a millionaire) wasn't much different.

To give you a little perspective, I just finished the TMF audiobook which was produced in house and is currently at the production facility getting duplicated ... when I finished that project, that feeling was similar, almost identical to the feeling of reaching millionaire status. Why? Because I made it through the process. I learned. I accomplished. I achieved. I hit a goal. Money (if people buy the TMF audiobook) just adds to that feeling.

As I write in my book "a millionaire" is just upper middle class.

Once that status was reached, I didn't suddenly feel uber-rich, like I could go out and do, or buy anything ... its just a different elevation of security to know that if you want to go out to dinner at a nice restaurant, you can. The mortgage and electric bill will be paid. I can travel wherever, and whenever.

Again, I started to feel true freedom when I became wholly self-employed and self-reliant (and then I was broke.) The millionaire status makes this feeling stronger.

Now at $5M liquid, the feeling is a little different and you start to feel "rich" where money becomes less and less as an obstacle. However, even at this level you still have to be mindful as to what you buy. Again, expenditures don't care about titles (multimillionaire, millionaire etc.) because if you spend more than you earn, you will go broke.

When I see a $400K Aventador I think "gee, I can buy that now, pay cash for it, and not be burdened to it." That's a great feeling. However, just because "I can" doesn't mean I will, or should as it decreases my margin of error. This type of thinking, done too many times, leads to the Sidewalk.

I imagine at $25M the feeling of freedom and security would be even more pronounced and the margin of error gets larger.



Not really. However, some of my other friends who only know me through my book tend to treat you as if you are atypical ... like, drinking cheap beer or staying at a dive hotel is "out of the question". It isn't. Other than my house (and my Lambo which I just sold), I blend in like everyone else. I still shop at Target and Walmart. I still shop at Safeway.

I drive a car that is nearly 7 years old with 70,000 miles ... my "non Fastlane" friends all drive newer cars.



No.



Not even sure any one in HS knows anything about me. My penname and real name are different. Some of my old college buddies have bought my book and enjoyed it, but I haven't seen them in years.



When I wake up the morning sometimes I have to pinch myself. The view in my house is gorgeous.

View attachment 3052

Again, when I bought my first Lambo, (a Diablo) it was a great feeling of accomplishment because it was a goal achieved. Freedom is fantastic. The feeling that I can write for days and weeks, and not have to worry about money is great. The feeling that I don't know "what's next" is scary, and exhilarating all at once.

However, life is not all unicorns and rainbows. I stress about things too. (For example, for years I've struggled to get health insurance and still do -- my health insurance premiums now cost more than most peoples mortgage ... this is an uncontrollable variable and can dictate future security)

Man, selling the Lamborghini...for some reason I picture the Lambo like your sidekick, or your symbol of achievement haha. Like Batman selling the batmobile.

Also had no idea MJ DeMarco wasn't your real name....don't know why but that never crossed my mind.

Anyways, back to the topic. Not a millionaire but I am in a unique situation. My business brings in about 90% of its revenue in one 3-week span (seasonal business). At the end of that 3 weeks, when I see the money in the business acct it does bring a huge level of excitement. But, like MJ said, the excitement comes more from the fact that the money represents another successful season, and succesful execution of the planning, as opposed to just being "money in the bank".

I imagine that day is similar to realizing you've "made it". But after a few days my mindset does go back to normal.

 

[Mr.Chaos]

Far from a million, very far, but I've made dramatic increases over the past years. Within the last 4 years:

went about 10x on my income
car note went up by about 20x
expenses went up by about 10x
rent is about to go up next month by about 10x

The early point that I am seeing (as I read tmfl for the 3rd time, 2nd time on audible - s/o @MJ DeMarco) is that I have lots of cool stuff now but it feels not so different because I still have income + bills, both are just larger values now.

@Yussef "Do friends treat me differently" - to be honest, not really. But the girls seem to be more friendly, maybe its just my confidence increase.

@Yussef "Buying the dream house or car, the places you travel now and how your life has changed in general."
- I buy more stuff I want, and actually save more than ever. But its a bit scary thinking about if I make a mistake, I'd have some serious bills to pay.

Icing on the cake, what someone said earlier in the thread, the mental gains I have made make me feel rich. It becomes more evident each day that money and happiness aren't as strongly correlated as I thought several years ago..

However I am aware I cannot use mental health to pay mortgage- so, my ambition to reach several Ms fairly quickly has not lessened, only intensified.

Awesome!! Good to hear bro!!

 

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[Greg R]

Enjoy.

http://wallstreetplayboys.com/money-changes-your-life/

 

[thinkandgrowrich]

Enjoy.

http://wallstreetplayboys.com/money-changes-your-life/

This article sounds like it was written by somebody who watches too many movies.

Building and creating wealth doesn't have to result in self destructive behavior and the loss of relationships in regards to your family and friends. Many successful people I've encountered and known are rich in money and rich in relationships, they understand money is one part of the equation of wealth.

Besides, what's the point of wealth if you don't have loved ones to share it with? That's just as worse as being broke, if not more.

 

[Greg R]

This article sounds like it was written by somebody who watches too many movies.

Building and creating wealth doesn't have to result in self destructive behavior and the loss of relationships in regards to your family and friends. Many successful people I've encountered and known are rich in money and rich in relationships, they understand money is one part of the equation of wealth.

Besides, what's the point of wealth if you don't have loved ones to share it with? That's just as worse as being broke, if not more.

If you asked someone what it's like being "middle class" or "poor" you are going to get 100 different answers. Just look at this thread. The quality of the answers begin with the quality of the question.

Good luck.

 

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[thinkandgrowrich]

If you asked someone what it's like being "middle class" or "poor" you are going to get 100 different answers. Just look at this thread. The quality of the answers begin with the quality of the question.

Good luck.

That was exactly my point. That article made it seem that all people between specific income brackets all think the same way and have the same problems, as if your net worth determines every single thing about you and every single thing about your life.

 

[Greg R]

That was exactly my point. That article made it seem that all people between specific income brackets all think the same way and have the same problems, as if your net worth determines every single thing about you and every single thing about your life.

I can see your point and how putting some context around this would have been important, especially here.

I should have inserted this first for some contextual basis.

http://wallstreetplayboys.com/start-here/

... Meanwhile, a poor farmer in West Africa claims to be the happiest man alive.

 

[jon.a]

... Meanwhile, a poor farmer in West Africa claims to be the happiest man alive.

Is he really poor?

 

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[Greg R]

Is he really poor?

I suppose he doesn't have to be.

 

[jon.a]

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, “only a little while. The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The American then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The "Mexican Fisherman" said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.” The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The "Mexican Fisherman" asked, “But, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15 – 20 years.”

“But what then?” Asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions!”

“Millions – then what?”

The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

 

[Greg R]

An American investment banker...

You beat me! One of my favorites. +REP

 

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[GMSI7D]

This is rubbish thinking. we must not put ourselves in an inferior persons environment even if it is in our mind. WE MUST ALWAYS STRIVE TO BE IN BETTER ENVIRONMENTS surrounded by the best and ONLY THE BEST. I am here for only a finite time on earth I DESERVE THE BEST And I will own the best.

what i mean is that we are not necessary happy with millions in the bank

let me explain

think about that :

sometimes, like everrybody you might say that your are not that happy or life is useless or whatever negative thinking

we all do that , even for just a few seconds in the day.




--> but imagine that a man, let's say a frenchman from the year 1200 just arrived from a time travel ( in a back to the future movie way )





he looks at our current lifestyle.

he is in awe before our technology that seems like magic to him, our health ( people like him died at 30...) , our wealth

and so on , you name it

so after such a sight of wealth , he sees that you are unhappy !!!

what do you think he will say ?


i promise you that he will say something like :

" man are you kidding me ? you have wealth like i never thought could exist and you are unhappy ! are you completely insane ? "






so what do i mean here ?

wealth won't make us happy because it can't buy happiness, it expands choice, it buys freedom but it can't guarantee that we are happy


it can't buy our state of mind

 

[Niptuck MD]

what i mean is that we are not necessary happy with millions in the bank

let me explain

think about that :

sometimes, like everrybody you might say that your are not that happy or life is useless or whatever negative thinking

we all do that , even for just a few seconds in the day.




--> but imagine that a man, let's say a frenchman from the year 1200 just arrived from a time travel ( in a back to the future movie way )

View attachment 13766



he looks at our current lifestyle.

he is in awe before our technology that seems like magic to him, our health ( people like him died at 30...) , our wealth

and so on , you name it

so after such a sight of wealth , he sees that you are unhappy !!!

what do you think he will say ?


i promise you that he will say something like :

" man are you kidding me ? you have wealth like i never thought could exist and you are unhappy ! are you completely insane ? "

View attachment 13767




so what do i mean here ?

wealth won't make us happy because it can't buy happiness, it buys choice, freedom but it can't guarantee that we are happy


it can't buy our state of mind

very unique take sir. However on the flipside if we fast forwarded 500-1000 years would it not be different? or Indifferent?

 

[EvanOkanagan]

very unique take sir. However on the flipside if we fast forwarded 500-1000 years would it not be different? or Indifferent?

If technology continues to advance at an exponential rate, wealth will most definitely be able to buy us happiness in 500-1000 years

 

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[Longinus]

very unique take sir. However on the flipside if we fast forwarded 500-1000 years would it not be different? or Indifferent?

Chances are that it will be better. People always tend to think that the current time is bad: terror, crisis, wars,... But we have no clue what most people had to deal with in the past. Most middle ages people were poorer than the poorest people today. Not so long ago (100 years), people in Western-Europe attacked each other with freaking bayonets, exterminated people on a industrial scale (70 years ago) or threatened to nuke the entire world (25 years ago).

There was never a better time to live as today, ever in history of mankind. Today technology advances so fast (VR, AI, drones, biotech, ...) that it's only getting better.

 

[MidwestLandlord]

what i mean is that we are not necessary happy with millions in the bank

let me explain

think about that :

sometimes, like everrybody you might say that your are not that happy or life is useless or whatever negative thinking

we all do that , even for just a few seconds in the day.




--> but imagine that a man, let's say a frenchman from the year 1200 just arrived from a time travel ( in a back to the future movie way )

View attachment 13766



he looks at our current lifestyle.

he is in awe before our technology that seems like magic to him, our health ( people like him died at 30...) , our wealth

and so on , you name it

so after such a sight of wealth , he sees that you are unhappy !!!

what do you think he will say ?


i promise you that he will say something like :

" man are you kidding me ? you have wealth like i never thought could exist and you are unhappy ! are you completely insane ? "

View attachment 13767




so what do i mean here ?

wealth won't make us happy because it can't buy happiness, it expands choice, it buys freedom but it can't guarantee that we are happy


it can't buy our state of mind

Fallacy of relative privation.

I agree money can't buy happiness though.