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Copywriting Contest... (RESULTS POSTED!)

Discussion in 'Advertising, Marketing, Social Media' started by MJ DeMarco, Sep 3, 2017.

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  1. amp0193
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    amp0193 Legendary Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR

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    It'd be neat if you ran these in a rotation, and let us know the data on which converted the best.
     
  2. MJ DeMarco
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    MJ DeMarco Raving Lunatic Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Yes they will be split tested... all 5 run at same time, then results posted.
     
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2017
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  3. bigbaby
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    bigbaby Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER

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    Wow! Excited to see how they fair.

    BTW Here's the link to the image I used if you want it.

    Free Image on Pixabay - Musician, Rockstar, Band, Music
     
  4. garyjsmith
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    garyjsmith Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    Very cool. Can't wait to see the final product. Congrats, you guys!
     
  5. MJ DeMarco
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    MJ DeMarco Raving Lunatic Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Admin Post
    Update... still creating the various forms.
     
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  6. MJ DeMarco
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    MJ DeMarco Raving Lunatic Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    All 5 variants are now live.

    Screen Shot 2017-10-09 at 2.12.47 PM.png

    Screen Shot 2017-10-09 at 2.13.02 PM.png

    Screen Shot 2017-10-09 at 2.13.14 PM.png

    Screen Shot 2017-10-09 at 2.13.27 PM.png

    Screen Shot 2017-10-09 at 2.13.59 PM.png
     
  7. ApparentHorizon
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    ApparentHorizon Silver Contributor Speedway Pass

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    All right people place your bets...

    $100 for this order, from highest conversion rate to lowest:

    3 1 5 2 4
     
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  8. MJ DeMarco
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    MJ DeMarco Raving Lunatic Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    The preliminary results are pretty dismal, kind of what I expected. However in that dismal realm, there looks like there will be a clear winner.

    Just waiting for exposures to increase to 1,500 per, then I'll post results.
     
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  9. CareCPA
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    CareCPA Silver Contributor FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    More dismal or less dismal than what you currently have? Will you show how they compare to your control ad?
     
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  10. MJ DeMarco
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    MJ DeMarco Raving Lunatic Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    With respect to other mats that I've used before. For instance, the one displayed in my OP had 200% better conversion, although the product given for conversion was different.

    There was no control ad because this was an invitation to test all the finalists. The winner will then become the control ad.
     
  11. MJ DeMarco
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    MJ DeMarco Raving Lunatic Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Looks like I was premature, there are 3 versions that are now holding pretty close.
     
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  12. Argue
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    Argue Gold Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED Speedway Pass

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    This is exciting, can't wait for the results. Congrats to the finalists, love the copy!
     
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  13. Kung Fu Steve
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    Kung Fu Steve Gold Contributor Speedway Pass Summit Attendee

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    That's just me signing up again and again to skew the numbers :rofl:

    As a mini-lesson for my fellow marketers and aspiring copywriters -- you can see how difficult it is to come up with a clear, concise, and compelling message to generate interest and sales in a product.

    This is why Apple's original iPod copy was worth millions: "1,000 songs in your pocket"

    If you can master this skill, you'll never lack money ever again.
     
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  14. MIHOKO
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    MIHOKO New Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane FASTLANE INSIDER

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    Oops...bit late, but here are my ideas:)


    1.jpg 2.jpg
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2017
  15. Dunkafelics
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    Dunkafelics Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass

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    I think 1, 3, 4, 5, 2

    I actually liked 1 more with the man in the suit, but the car does have its merits.

    Great job guys!

    I am interested to see who had the most conversions.
     
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  16. MJ DeMarco
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    MJ DeMarco Raving Lunatic Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Half way there, still mostly a 3 way race.
     
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  17. ApparentHorizon
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    ApparentHorizon Silver Contributor Speedway Pass

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    Yeah 1 has great copy (not a copywriter, so idk what I'm actually talking about)

    Only reason I went with 3 was b/c of the human face.
     
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  18. MJ DeMarco
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    MJ DeMarco Raving Lunatic Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    The results on the front 9... (golfing terminology)

    1.5%
    1.4%
    1.2%
    .6%
    .4%
     
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  19. Kung Fu Steve
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    Kung Fu Steve Gold Contributor Speedway Pass Summit Attendee

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    Anytime I'm struggling to write headlines I go back to the old proven formulas:
    • "Discover..."
    • "Amazing Discovery..."
    • "The little known..."
    • "How to X without Y..."
    • "How to X even if Y..."
    • "How to avoid X"
    I'm just spit-balling (normally I'd write 50 headlines mixing and matching these kind of phrases until I got something that might make sense)... but I'm guessing you guys can get MJ's conversion significantly higher...

    "The little known script preventing you from getting rich"
    "Discover the underlying script stopping you from the wealth you deserve"
    "Go to school? Get a degree? Find a safe secure job? Don't buy into the script. Learn how a little-known formula can help you build wealth fast."

    Kiyosaki-bomb used the "rat race" as his big marketing ploy -- and it was good because people got it. Some people have already mentioned it above but you have to translate the "script" in a way the average joe can emotionally and intellectually understand... in 2 sentences or less...
     
  20. MJ DeMarco
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    MJ DeMarco Raving Lunatic Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Had a pretty big lead change overnight ... almost looks suspicious.

    Now I'll have to make sure no one is doping the results.
     
  21. MikeC
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    MikeC Bronze Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane Speedway Pass Summit Attendee

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    Hey MJ– here's my entry. It's just copy, but use it if you want. Obviously, some details will need to be changed:

    ––​

    Look– your life is passing you by…

    When are you finally going to WAKE UP and
    start making a lot of money?


    Do you like struggling? Do you like not doing what you actually want to be doing? Do you like watching others buy the sh** you want? If not, read on...


    Dear victim of society,

    I wrote a bestselling book a few years ago that, essentially, teaches people how to actually get rich overnight (the bad news: it takes time).

    That book, The Millionaire Fastlane, has gone on to sell well over 6,000,000 copies, been published in 16 different languages (including Chinese, Japanese and Thai), and has had 5 Shark Tank winners that attribute all their success to my book… as well as created dozens of new millionaires and thousands of new “1%ers”.

    YET IT’S NOT ENOUGH.

    People haven’t been able to get it yet.

    Look– getting rich takes work… and time… yes… YET IT CAN BE INCREDIBLY REWARDING AND A HELL OF A LOT OF FUN WHILE IT’S HAPPENING!

    I mean, nothing comes easy in this world. But that doesn’t mean the years you spend getting rich have to be a fucking nightmare. Actually– they can, and very likely will be the best years of your life!

    Hell, I sold my company for $10,000,000 fourteen years ago and have been in mini-retirement ever since… and here I am coming back for more. (If you’re smart– that’ll tell you something.)

    So… I’ve written another book.

    This one still teaches you how to make a hell of a lot of money. But more importantly, it trains your brain to enjoy the damn process. Because even though you will, most likely, ultimately end up “rich overnight”… it takes many other nights of rewarding work before that can happen.

    SO– don’t stress about it. Just download the first five chapters of the damn book, Unscripted, for FREE by entering your email below. If you can come up with the modicum of energy required to actually finish them… I can promise you… your exciting, dramatic, exhilarating… and damn profitable journey to real "instagram ballin" wealth is about to finally begin.

    Believe it or not, even though I sold my company for $10,000,000 fourteen years ago and am writing this from a mansion, I envy you. That is… if you enter your email below and actually read it:
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2017 at 2:56 AM
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  22. Striver
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    Striver Contributor Read Millionaire Fastlane

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    "You can have it all. Here's the key"

    This one from the 1st page is my favorite. We all know people have super-short attention spans! Gotta be short, and to the point.
     
  23. TheMatt
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    I've been away for a while, now I check in and see one of my submissions has been picked by @MJ DeMarco !

    Thank you, I'm really pleased you thought it worthy of a try, MJ.
     
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  24. KLaw
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    KLaw Silver Contributor Speedway Pass

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    How do you verify that?
     
  25. MJ DeMarco
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    MJ DeMarco Raving Lunatic Staff Member Read Millionaire Fastlane I've Read UNSCRIPTED FASTLANE INSIDER Speedway Pass LEGENDARY CONTRIBUTOR Summit Attendee

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    Admin Post
    Thank you Mike but the contest is already running! Also, a "Welcome Mat" that features 500 words would never work. I appreciate the effort and the suggestion, but I'm not sure you understand the nature of the contest.

    By looking at the subscribers and seeing if there is anything fishy, their locations, names, etc. Not foolproof, but it might shed light on any potential shenanigans.
     
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