How do you stop self sabotaging for good?

[Fox]

So... I have improved on this a lot over the years BUT I still do it sometimes.

- Reaching new levels in the gym, then stop going for a few weeks
- Hitting the best months in the business ever, then get some crazy idea and burn up a load of time
- Working off a great plan, see a lot of progress, then throw out the plan for no reason

For people on a high level here, what advice would you give to those who do this?

I have worked on myself for years, but still feel there is some piece of the puzzle that maybe I'm overlooking.
And I have also done a lot of work to find the right answer, but I feel like maybe the question I am asking is wrong.

Thank you!

 

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[Lyzmin]

So... I have improved on this a lot over the years BUT I still do it sometimes.

- Reaching new levels in the gym, then stop going for a few weeks
- Hitting the best months in the business ever, then get some crazy idea and burn up a load of time
- Working off a great plan, see a lot of progress, then throw out the plan for no reason

For people on a high level here, what advice would you give to those who do this?

I have worked on myself for years, but still feel there is some piece of the puzzle that maybe I'm overlooking.
And I have also done a lot of work to find the right answer, but I feel like maybe the question I am asking is wrong.

Thank you!

Pain + reflection = progress.

Few questions:

• Are the periods you're 'doing it' becoming longer or shorter?
• What is the moment you're becoming conscious of this?
• How can you improve this?

If you're familiar with the concept: 'we all have 3 brains'
You have the robot brain, monkey brain and sage brain.

When you're 'doing it', the monkey brain is taking over.
The key is to reign in the monkey and keep it in check.
I do it by asking myself a series of questions daily.

Hope this helps!

 

[Fox]

Pain + reflection = progress.

Few questions:

• Are the periods you're 'doing it' becoming longer or shorter?
• What is the moment you're becoming conscious of this?
• How can you improve this?

If you're familiar with the concept: 'we all have 3 brains'
You have the robot brain, monkey brain and sage brain.

When you're 'doing it', the monkey brain is taking over.
The key is to reign in the monkey and keep it in check.
I do it by asking myself a series of questions daily.

Hope this helps!

Are the periods you're 'doing it' becoming longer or shorter?

I would say that they are less severe - but the pattern is still there.
Get focused > work a solid plan > get great results > fall off track > get down > crash > refocus > go again

Usually I can run 2-3 months with solid momentum, but then have a rough crash for 1-2 weeks. I actually don't know how common this is for most people to deal with, or if this is something that high level people manage to fully remove.


What is the moment you're becoming conscious of this?

Around the get down/crash stage. I notice my self talk is way off, my output is way down, and my energy/vibe is low.
I have gotten better at managing this cycle, but it is annoying to continually be running through it.


How can you improve this?

That is the question! I have considered therapy but I am not sure if someone here locally in Poland is going to relate.
I was looking for a peak performance coach earlier this year, and was close with a few people, but it wasn't the right match. I had one person who probably would have been a great fit, but they were unable to go ahead.

---

Just for context here, I am still getting a lot done. Just that I know I could also be doing a lot more.

 

[Lyzmin]

I was looking for a peak performance coach earlier this year, and was close with a few people, but it wasn't the right match.

I've had the same experience. Instead I found a peak performance partner who is focused on execution as well. We challenge and lift each other up every week on Saturday morning.

It keeps me focused and away from drifting or bad self talk.
Have you tried this?

 

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[Fox]

I've had the same experience. Instead I found a peak performance partner who is focused on execution as well. We challenge and lift each other up every week on Saturday morning.

It keeps me focused and away from drifting or bad self talk.
Have you tried this?

Ya I had a solid mastermind for three years (met at the summit) and this did help to some degree.

But I think there is something deeper here which still needs to be addressed. Thanks for the input.

 

[Mr.Maverick]

I'm not at a high level compared to other people here but I'm going to take a shot anyways.

The question being "How do you stop self sabotaging for good?"

I think the assumption of for good would be something I question.

I would ask " Can I even stop it for good? 100%? Forever? For the rest of my life? Maybe I can't?"

A different question I would ask myself is

"How can I increase my level of not self sabotaging?"

And

"How can I create/use systems that can cover my level of self sabotage?"

For example I always wanted to eat healthy but meal prepping takes a lot of time and effort. I would always fall off. So instead I just order my food from a meal prep company and it becomes the "easy choice to make" .

 

[Fox]

I'm not at a high level compared to other people here but I'm going to take a shot anyways.

The question being "How do you stop self sabotaging for good?"

I think the assumption of for good would be something I question.

I would ask " Can I even stop it for good? 100%? Forever? For the rest of my life? Maybe I can't?"

A different question I would ask myself is

"How can I increase my level of not self sabotaging?"

And

"How can I create/use systems that can cover my level of self sabotage?"

For example I always wanted to eat healthy but meal prepping takes a lot of time and effort. I would always fall off. So instead I just order my food from a meal prep company and it becomes the "easy choice to make" .

Ya, this is a solid point and one I actually don't know.

In person I don't get to hang out with many people doing over 500k-1m a year. That is pretty rare where I live.
So I really don't know how much (if at all) this is a cycle that some of these people deal with.

But, ya, maybe it is not possible to *fully* remove, and it is more about reducing as you said.

As for systems, I have been working on that today. I think a good place to start with might be journaling my daily thoughts and seeing what particular actions/thoughts are popping up that need to be addressed.

 

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[Kevin88660]

I'm not at a high level compared to other people here but I'm going to take a shot anyways.

The question being "How do you stop self sabotaging for good?"

I think the assumption of for good would be something I question.

I would ask " Can I even stop it for good? 100%? Forever? For the rest of my life? Maybe I can't?"

A different question I would ask myself is

"How can I increase my level of not self sabotaging?"

And

"How can I create/use systems that can cover my level of self sabotage?"

For example I always wanted to eat healthy but meal prepping takes a lot of time and effort. I would always fall off. So instead I just order my food from a meal prep company and it becomes the "easy choice to make" .

I buy commercial fast food sandwich with chicken breast and all the veggies. Choose those low calories sources.

I understand they are not as good as self-prepped food. But they are far better than junk food or processed white rice.

Now reduced coke zero intake, after learning from knowledge shared in this forum.

 

[StrikingViper69]

Are you working all day, 7 days a day a week?

 

[Fox]

Are you working all day, 7 days a day a week?

Yes/no. Business is always on the mind but I am trying to better manage my work/rest cycles.

Right now I am trying to step this up, so I will only talk about what already is...

- Gym 50-60% of the days I could
- 2-3 focused hours a day, 5-6 more hours worked that could be better
- a few tasks run into my downtime and also sometimes my weekends get sacrificed

I have been reading up on 80/20 principles a lot and seeing where to be doing less, but getting more.
Stronger clarity of goals/values/outcome might be quite helpful too.

 

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[heavy_industry]

@Fox

I'm not on your level / at a high level yet, so take this post with a grain of salt. I have a lot of things to learn myself. I'm still at the early stages in my journey.

---

Being a black belt in the art of self-sabotage and missing opportunities, here is what I've experienced and what I've learned from others:

Out of 100 actions that we perform, 99 happen unconsciously.

All those unconscious actions are the instincts of the person that we've been until this point. It's like our operating system that we have built over the years (personality, mindset, thousands of micro-habits, ways of thinking etc.)

If 99% of our actions happen unconsciously, the past will replay itself endlessly, and will become the future. This is how most people end up living their life.

That's why we tend to get stuck at a certain level, and we hit plateaus.

The only two solutions to break this cycle (as far as I can tell):

1. Increase your perception and level of awareness, to increase the % of actions that are performed consciously.

2. Gradually develop the instincts of a high achiever, so that the 99% of actions start working for, not against you.

Both are very difficult to do, and that's why people don't do them, therefore they stay the same forever.

The second can only be done through repeated action, or by changing the environment and the people we surround ourselves with.

---

I really hesitated to post this comment, and I've spent like 30 minutes writing it.

As I've mentioned, I'm still in the phase of figuring out this stuff myself. Thank you for posting this thread.

Please let me know what are your thoughts.

 

[Fox]

@Fox

I'm not on your level / at a high level yet, so take this post with a grain of salt. I have a lot of things to learn myself. I'm still at the early stages in my journey.

---

Being a black belt in the art of self-sabotage and missing opportunities, here is what I've experienced and what I've learned from others:

Out of 100 actions that we perform, 99 happen unconsciously.

All those unconscious actions are the instincts of the person that we've been until this point. It's like our operating system that we have built over the years (personality, mindset, thousands of micro-habits, ways of thinking etc.)

If 99% of our actions happen unconsciously, the past will replay itself endlessly, and will become the future. This is how most people end up living their life.

That's why we tend to get stuck at a certain level, and we hit plateaus.

The only two solutions to break this cycle (as far as I can tell):

1. Increase your perception and level of awareness, to increase the % of actions that are performed consciously.

2. Gradually develop the instincts of a high achiever, so that the 99% of actions start working for, not against you.

Both are very difficult to do, and that's why people don't do them, therefore they stay the same forever.

The second can only be done through repeated action, or by changing the environment and the people we surround ourselves with.

---

I really hesitated to post this comment, and I've spent like 30 minutes writing it.

As I've mentioned, I'm still in the phase of figuring out this stuff myself. Thank you for posting this thread.

Please let me know what are your thoughts.

Thanks, this helps a lot as a solid starting point.
I highly agree with your 2 points, and I know there is work to do there.

Maybe an issue here has been too much focus on what high level people do, and not fully adapting how they are.

A challenge I have is how to successfully overwrite the current script for a higher level one.

- Do I listen to a bunch of podcasts and interviews and map out the mindsets and beliefs?
- Invest in higher level coaching and a mentor who is where I want to be in 5-10 years?
- Get around high level people a lot more often?
- All of the above???

What I do know is I have maxed on the results possible with my current thought process and habits. I can literally see the results skimming off the "ceiling" for the last year plus.

Ya, not sure of the answers either - but really appreciate the post.

 

[Johnny boy]

Fox, when I look at you, I see "by the book".

You're killing it. Fit, young, stoic, successful, cool. You've accomplished so much, even in spite of being a ginger lol.

You're good man. You have things dialed in.

The only thing I can think of for adding consistency is to add obligations that will force you to show up.

For workouts, I keep saying this, but the best thing I've ever done is have the obligation to pickup my workout partner in the mornings at 730. If I didn't have to pick him up, I wouldn't go nearly as often. Same levels of discipline, same motivation, same everything, but wildly different results. I HAVE to pick him up. And he knows I'm coming, so he HAS to be ready. We both would skip the workout but we both have to be ready for the other.

Humans love to do things that have to get done. Employees have to show up for work. Students have to show up to school. So they do. But us business owners can do whatever the F*ck we want, so it's much harder to have anywhere near the same consistency.

I've even delegated daily tasks in my business TO MYSELF that I could have someone else do, just so it forces me to sit in front of the computer every day and SHOW UP to work, even though the task is only 20 minutes. But it gets me started and it's needed every day, so I'm consistent. I make the schedule for the workers. I could easily have our customer service rep do it, but I do it only because it gets me working every day. Plus it makes me go to bed since I do it in the morning.

I also have growth obligations for the business because we have franchisees. They will call me and ask how the ads are doing, how the growth is, etc. I feel pressure to make sure they are doing well, it's a voice in my head that gets me off my a$$ because I owe them a successful franchise. It's a good kind of pressure.

Get a workout buddy on the same plan as you and give yourself the obligation of picking them up. Don't just meet there, you'll arrive at different times and throw it off probably.

Give yourself daily obligations that will force you to show up in your business. Just enough to get your a$$ working, but short enough to move on to the real "work" once it's checked off.

Try to think of ways to give yourself expectations and accountability from others. Some adjustment to your business that will make you not want to let others down.

Then, just make a to-do list the night before.

People think a remote accountability buddy or making a bet or having to pay money for being inconsistent will do the trick, but it doesn't work as well as having something real and having a real obligation.

You've been consistent your whole life. You paid rent on time right? You showed up to school 95% of the time? You showed up to your oil field job regularly? Because you had to. Align your goals and actions and then make those actions a "have to", then the goals will happen easily. A reason you have to show up at the gym, a reason you have to show up to work, a reason you have to go to bed on time. You will get everything done. Then you can adjust your obligations and go F*ck off for a couple months any other time of the year when you've made it to the next level.

Another tip: give other people obligations for things that need to get done too. Do you struggle to send outreach emails? Make it someone's JOB. They don't want to get fired. You say "I want 100 cold emails per day and you submit the list to me each evening". It will likely get done. Then you will have leads and be forced to not waste them. Let other people stuff your pipeline for you. It will force you to rise to the occasion. Our advertising is automated by setting the daily spend and not changing it, so the leads come in and we HAVE to take care of it as a company, which is much easier than having to go out and hunt for every sale depending on my own efforts.

Don't schedule enough podcasts? Make it someone's job to schedule them. Now you have to do them, they are on your schedule. Stuff like that.

Then, schedule fun stuff later. Tell yourself "I can only go have fun when I'm done with the to-do list". You will blast through it. Imagine a friend from school came over when you were 10, and your mom said you can only go play when the homework is done, it would take you 5 minutes because you want to go out and play. Have inspiring things waiting for you to do that you can do when you're done with the to-do list, so you work like you're on crack and need to get it done so you can do the thing that you're itching to go do.

 

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[Fox]

Thanks @Johnny boy - you are one of my favourite posters and was hoping you would jump in here.

Ya, it is a funny feeling. I have come a long way from where I started... but still I feel uneasy.
I just know there is more there and it crushes me when I slip back into old shitty habits or ways of thinking.

One thing I have been trying to work on this year is just enjoying the process more.
Finding more joy from the work, not only rushing to the reward.

Like, it is so cool to see guys like you in your groove. It is pure energy and it is communicated through your writing.

I just don't feel I am there at the moment, when I also feel I really should be.
Like something isn't clicking 100% as it could be.

The only thing I can think of for adding consistency is to add obligations that will force you to show up.

I am having my first kid (a son) likely sometime next week, so that should help!
This is of course amazing - but it has put a focus on what I am talking about in this thread.
I want to make sure I am setting the example, and addressing the issues that I could have worked on more.

My own childhood felt tough, and I want to make sure to not pass any damaging mindsets on.

Thanks for this post, this thread is already helping me see ways to move forward.

 

[heavy_industry]

Align your goals and actions and then make those actions a "have to", then the goals will happen easily.

 

[Panos Daras]

- Reaching new levels in the gym, then stop going for a few weeks

Are we talking about a week or a month? I would say 1 week for example is normal if you train hard. And you seem like you do actually.

- Hitting the best months in the business ever, then get some crazy idea and burn up a load of time

This can be also a good thing but maybe try and measure the benefits of pursuing the idea vs the cost.

- Working off a great plan, see a lot of progress, then throw out the plan for no reason

What is causing this? Is it really no reason?

 

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[Matt Lee]

@Fox thank you for starting this thread. It feels like Christmas reading some of the responses so far.

I'm wondering, do you usually run by a strict schedule of some sort? Or do you just have appointments/to-do at set times and then fill in the gap with working hours?

 

[MakeItHappen]

- Do I listen to a bunch of podcasts and interviews and map out the mindsets and beliefs?
- Invest in higher level coaching and a mentor who is where I want to be in 5-10 years?
- Get around high level people a lot more often?
- All of the above???

A good approach would be to research different options that have worked for other people in a similar situation and then test each option like a scientist tests each hypothesis one by one.

What I do know is I have maxed on the results possible with my current thought process and habits. I can literally see the results skimming off the "ceiling" for the last year plus.

There seems to be an internal conflict. A part of you wants to hit new PR in the gym and another part wants to relax once in a while.

Have you reflected on whether your goals are mainly based on intrinsic or extrinsic motivation? Extrinsic motivation often requires that you have forcing functions in place to show up consistently.

What I have witnessed in a lot of high performers is, that they are obsessed with reaching their goals. It's not that they are super disciplined, it's more like they can't stop showing up every day and doing the work (& there can also be negative consequences here... if you are making 100 mil per year put you can't stop working 100 hours per week because you must become even more successful to be happy.... make daddy proud.... or whatever than that comes at a price like sacrificing family time etc.). Andy Frisella said once that he just can't stop pushing his limits and that at times he wishes he could so that he could enjoy the fruits of his labor a little bit more.

Might it be possible that you are pushing to hard? Do you think you could work out more consistently if you worked out a little less often per week? I have the tendency to work 7 times per week but after a couple of weeks, I feel that burnout is on the horizon if I don't take some time off. What seems to work for me is to reduce the work days to 6 per week. If I feel guilty on day 7 for not working I only work on stuff I want to work on (often not the most important and easy stuff).

Are you familiar with the Iron Mind Course by Andrew Tate? You can find it for free on youtube. His approach of hero vs. villian is quite interesting and simple.

Have you looked into creating alter egos for the different situations where you feel you slack off? It's fascinating how many successful people have alter egos. Even someone like Kobe Bryant who is the personification of work ethic used an alter ego to make sure he showed up with 100%

A book that might be helpful:

The Art of Taking Action: Lessons from Japanese Psychology​

by Gregg Krech

 

[StrikingViper69]

Yes/no. Business is always on the mind but I am trying to better manage my work/rest cycles.

Right now I am trying to step this up, so I will only talk about what already is...

- Gym 50-60% of the days I could
- 2-3 focused hours a day, 5-6 more hours worked that could be better
- a few tasks run into my downtime and also sometimes my weekends get sacrificed

I have been reading up on 80/20 principles a lot and seeing where to be doing less, but getting more.
Stronger clarity of goals/values/outcome might be quite helpful too.

Maybe a day completely off once a week would help. To me it sounds like you're getting worn out and needing a rest.

Pick one day out of day 7 and do FA. Watch movies all day, take your gf (wife?) out, drive around, eat a burger.

You'll probably find it much easier to be consistent long term doing that. Plus it gives your mind a chance to think things over in the background.

 

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[Johnny boy]

Thanks @Johnny boy - you are one of my favourite posters and was hoping you would jump in here.

Ya, it is a funny feeling. I have come a long way from where I started... but still I feel uneasy.
I just know there is more there and it crushes me when I slip back into old shitty habits or ways of thinking.

One thing I have been trying to work on this year is just enjoying the process more.
Finding more joy from the work, not only rushing to the reward.

Like, it is so cool to see guys like you in your groove. It is pure energy and it is communicated through your writing.

I just don't feel I am there at the moment, when I also feel I really should be.
Like something isn't clicking 100% as it could be.



I am having my first kid (a son) likely sometime next week, so that should help!
This is of course amazing - but it has put a focus on what I am talking about in this thread.
I want to make sure I am setting the example, and addressing the issues that I could have worked on more.

My own childhood felt tough, and I want to make sure to not pass any damaging mindsets on.

Thanks for this post, this thread is already helping me see ways to move forward.

I remember meeting you in mexico and instantly thinking "yeah, my gut was right, this guy's a winner".

Congrats on the son.

And don't worry, I feel like a piece of shit regularly. I stay up until 3am when I need to get up at 7. I'll waste a whole 5 hours doing basically nothing. I'll ignore the dishes for 4 days. I am nowhere near perfect. But I am constantly reflecting, constantly analyzing where I'm at, where I'm going and how to get there. And I just don't give up. This is a marathon bro.

Go meet all your heroes, so you can be disappointed and realize they're just people. You are just as qualified as them to go be a massive success. We are ALL only accomplishing like less than 1% of what we could be. It goes to show that the losers are really not trying at all. And the winners are still F*cking up. So keep at it and make little improvements.

I would still recommend your idea of trying new things like podcasts, mentors, etc. Who knows what it could do? Those things are good for getting out of a rut if you feel you've been the same too long. I should do that stuff too honestly.

 

[Mind:Life]

I'm going to suggest that you may be lacking a strong enough "why" to pull you forward consistently. Too many times we try to push ourselves using will power / systems/ accountability etc., but when we are constantly pushing we get exhausted because of the energy it takes. So we stop to rest - and waste a lot of time and maybe never get started again!

Get clear on your "why", let it pull you forward, and watch your problem disappear.

 

[tomzestatlu]

I am not the right person to answer these questions regarding business performance issues but I noticed you mentioned fitness. You literally said that after 2-3 months of being highly efficient, you get a crash (I´m not sure if this statement also applies for fitness).

This is absolutely normal from my experience. I have done several rounds of ~3 months training phases and all of them led to one thing. Body over-training and burnout (it usually took 2 trainings a days, sometimes even 3). And I´m not talking planned 3 months phases, it just turned out to be sustainable time. But going over it is extremely unproductive and even dangerous.
You just can´t keep pushing the body forever without giving it some break to recover. Think of professional athletes - they don´t perform on their highest level 365 days a year. They have got different phases of training. From the beginning of season they continually graduate their training load until they reach their high when it´s demanded. And after competetition there´s always some time to recover (this may vary in different sports but I think principle is the same).

I can´t speak for other areas and there are people here who have got much more to say. But I can imagine that this principle applies also to other areas of life.

 

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[rjdgreat]

I am not the right person to answer these questions regarding business performance issues but I noticed you mentioned fitness. You literally said that after 2-3 months of being highly efficient, you get a crash (I´m not sure if this statement also applies for fitness).

I can attest to this! my first time hitting the gym and I get addicted lifting those rusty irons, I lasted up to 2-3 months. And when the 3rd month hits, I crashed and felt fatigue due to over-training. I become dizzy and felt like vomitting.

 

[Fox]

Are we talking about a week or a month? I would say 1 week for example is normal if you train hard. And you seem like you do actually.

This can be also a good thing but maybe try and measure the benefits of pursuing the idea vs the cost.

What is causing this? Is it really no reason?

This was actually much more about the business / mental side of things, I was just using the gym as an example.

But gym is going well overall, not at my peak - but in the 80-90% range.

 

[Fox]

@Fox thank you for starting this thread. It feels like Christmas reading some of the responses so far.

I'm wondering, do you usually run by a strict schedule of some sort? Or do you just have appointments/to-do at set times and then fill in the gap with working hours?

I am working on dialling in a more set schedule atm.

Something like:
- Gym first thing
- Breakfast
- 4 hours deep work
- Lunch
- 3-4 more hours of smaller project work and admin stuff

Also, I am trying to batch tasks a lot more.

 

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[Fox]

A good approach would be to research different options that have worked for other people in a similar situation and then test each option like a scientist tests each hypothesis one by one.


There seems to be an internal conflict. A part of you wants to hit new PR in the gym and another part wants to relax once in a while.

Have you reflected on whether your goals are mainly based on intrinsic or extrinsic motivation? Extrinsic motivation often requires that you have forcing functions in place to show up consistently.

What I have witnessed in a lot of high performers is, that they are obsessed with reaching their goals. It's not that they are super disciplined, it's more like they can't stop showing up every day and doing the work (& there can also be negative consequences here... if you are making 100 mil per year put you can't stop working 100 hours per week because you must become even more successful to be happy.... make daddy proud.... or whatever than that comes at a price like sacrificing family time etc.). Andy Frisella said once that he just can't stop pushing his limits and that at times he wishes he could so that he could enjoy the fruits of his labor a little bit more.

Might it be possible that you are pushing to hard? Do you think you could work out more consistently if you worked out a little less often per week? I have the tendency to work 7 times per week but after a couple of weeks, I feel that burnout is on the horizon if I don't take some time off. What seems to work for me is to reduce the work days to 6 per week. If I feel guilty on day 7 for not working I only work on stuff I want to work on (often not the most important and easy stuff).

Are you familiar with the Iron Mind Course by Andrew Tate? You can find it for free on youtube. His approach of hero vs. villian is quite interesting and simple.

Have you looked into creating alter egos for the different situations where you feel you slack off? It's fascinating how many successful people have alter egos. Even someone like Kobe Bryant who is the personification of work ethic used an alter ego to make sure he showed up with 100%

A book that might be helpful:

The Art of Taking Action: Lessons from Japanese Psychology​

by Gregg Krech

I will check out these resources. Thank you.

I feel I work a solid amount of hours, and that I do get downtime... but that I can be getting a lot more out of my hours.

So this is very much about learning to leverage time a lot better, be taking bigger actions, and not getting off track.

 

[Roli]

So... I have improved on this a lot over the years BUT I still do it sometimes.

- Reaching new levels in the gym, then stop going for a few weeks
- Hitting the best months in the business ever, then get some crazy idea and burn up a load of time
- Working off a great plan, see a lot of progress, then throw out the plan for no reason

For people on a high level here, what advice would you give to those who do this?

I have worked on myself for years, but still feel there is some piece of the puzzle that maybe I'm overlooking.
And I have also done a lot of work to find the right answer, but I feel like maybe the question I am asking is wrong.

Thank you!

I'm writing a book on this (good feedback so far), it's at the second draft phase and will be ready for a beta read within the next couple of weeks. If you're interested I'll send to you.

 

[Andy Black]

I will check out these resources. Thank you.

I feel I work a solid amount of hours, and that I do get downtime... but that I can be getting a lot more out of my hours.

So this is very much about learning to leverage time a lot better, be taking bigger actions, and not getting off track.

I recall James Schramko's book "Work Less, Make More" was good for this. As was Perry Marshall's "80/20 Sales and Marketing" book.

 

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[2legit2quit]

"Ya, it is a funny feeling. I have come a long way from where I started... but still I feel uneasy. I just know there is more there and it crushes me when I slip back into old shitty habits or ways of thinking."

> could you elaborate what you mean by 'uneasy'? also might help if you are able to speak on some level (we realize it is likely personal) what kind of self-sabotage and to what level. for example, if you work out hard for 3 months then binge on ice cream for 1 week, it is sort of understandable - you are not a machine and you may need to schedule in more 'fun' time weekly to teach yourself to blow off some steam. if its like, doing crack cocaine, that is a different sort of issue.

One thing I have been trying to work on this year is just enjoying the process more.
Finding more joy from the work, not only rushing to the reward.

> perhaps you are chasing externals in order to fulfill something you feel is lacking internally (likely stemming from childhood)? this is common for all human kind, and humanity has evolved a lot, because of humans often feeling this conflicting internal dissonance of needing to 'achieve' - which pushes things forward, thats not so bad.

but if the lack of constant-achievement you feel bad, this would be not so healthy. what i am saying is, its not wrong that you feel the need to want to do more or feel some dissonance despite what you have done, but it could also be your emotions or soul trying to tell you something. keep listening, i think.

I just don't feel I am there at the moment, when I also feel I really should be.
Like something isn't clicking 100% as it could be.

> why should you 'be there' at the moment?

This is of course amazing - but it has put a focus on what I am talking about in this thread. I want to make sure I am setting the example, and addressing the issues that I could have worked on more.

> you can still address them, never too late.

My own childhood felt tough, and I want to make sure to not pass any damaging mindsets on.

> i dont know you although i am familiar with your story. so im not in your shoes. but i suspect, you have achieved more than you initially expected - right? yet, you don't feel an inner peace, is what im getting from your post. this is not an atypical experience for many people that reach financial success. have you tried any sort of meditations? this could help. and a good therapist (although they are hard to find)

 

[heavy_industry]

I am working on dialling in a more set schedule atm.

Something like:
- Gym first thing
- Breakfast
- 4 hours deep work
- Lunch
- 3-4 more hours of smaller project work and admin stuff

Also, I am trying to batch tasks a lot more.

Let us know how it works out for you.

I have created a very similar schedule for myself for Q2.

• Morning
  • Ice bath
  • Deep work
• Noon
  • Training
• Afternoon
  • Admin work
  • Bullshit tasks
• Evening
  • Socializing
  • Reading 1-3 hours to exhaustion, to ensure deep sleep