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NOTABLE! How do you stop hating yourself?

Roz

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Are you hating yourself because you failed multiple times before?

Come on, Man. You know that's not the end.

Failure hurts and it hurts deep sometimes. But it also gives you the opportunity to examine what you did and what can be changed.

Next time when you fail, analyze the situation, adjust the course and move forward.

If you are stuck, come to the forum and post about it. Entrepreneurs who were in your place once and who are at the same level as you are now, will gonna help you out.

Like motivation, your self-esteem and confidence will increase when you take some action. Not the other way around.

Everything starts with the self.
 

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Real Deal Denver

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"How do you stop hating yourself?"

I've found that you cannot stop thoughts. You can only redirect them. So prepare some mental constructs ahead of time - identify some things that, when you think about them, you feel really good. It could be a memory, a future goal, a beautiful place, whatever. When you find yourself thinking any negative thought (why can't I succeed, I'm a failure, I must be stupid, I'm too impatient, I'm out of time, I'll never make it, etc.) simply redirect your attention to those good-feeling thoughts you prepared. Immerse yourself in the thought/image/movie (see it, feel it, smell it, taste it, etc.) and let it shift your emotions. Once you do that, it will be easier to take the next step - positive action in the direction you desire.
^^^ THIS is so powerful. I bet nobody even stopped to ponder it. I will put it into an example, and you can see how truly great it is, and how you can use it as a tool to overcome anything. Trust me - I know this - I've been there many times, and this is a great technique. It goes something like this:

You're a loser. No matter how hard you try, you always fail. You're wasting time and you're going nowhere. You've screwed up so much of your life.

Okay. Now let's take these little bastards on, one by one. First of all, you can ignore me completely. That's easy, because you know I don't know anything about you. That makes me an idiot, right? Okay... So if I say those things, and I'm an idiot, well - YOU'RE an idiot too. REDIRECT those thoughts. You can't stop them, but you can push them aside. You can CHOOSE to not pay them any attention.

That's how it works. And it does work.

EVERYONE has the proverbial angel and devil sitting on their shoulders whispering into their ears. Which one has more control over you? That's simple; the one you listen to. Once you are AWARE of this, you can deal with it head on.

Can you handle the truth? I don't think you can handle the truth!

can't handle truth.gif

But here it is anyway.

You're young. Smart. Healthy. Living in the golden age of technology. Living in the best country that has ever existed in the entire history of mankind. You know there is more to life than what you have now. And you have what you need most - time and a plan.

So tell me why you can't do it one more time. You have reasons. We all do. But I'm going to blow your reasons up right before your eyes. Right now. I'm going to take your reasons away from you and leave them crawling on the ground in front of you - no longer able to survive without you feeding them any longer. They will whither and die. Here's how.

Google Nick Vujicic. He has no right arm. No left arm either. And no legs. He had a promising career as a second base. Not a second base man - but the second base itself! Seriously - watch some of his videos and your self doubts will melt away. When you see what Nick has done, and how he lives his life, you will never think or act the same way ever again. I promise you that!
 

Dmoneyzzz

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Love yourself for everything you have done and accomplished in this world. You have serious potential and this is a great place to gather ideas and a plan of action.

Once you know what you want to try, you have to commit and stay consistent. Journal about how you feel and what would make you feel the feeling you desire.

Then plan on what are the critical actions you need to take to accomplish the feeling you desire & schedule them. You are on your path now, take some action today!
 
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Suzanne Bazemore

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I am at a point where I despise myself for still being a slave. I've been trying for multiple years to figure out how to solve real problems and start a business, and I've only fallen flat on my face.

How do people maintain self-esteem? How do you dust yourself off and regain confidence?
Have you ever listened to this commencement speech by Steve Jobs? He talks about connecting the dots in your life.

How to live before you die

Also, there is another TED talk about Know Your Why (but there are a bunch of them, so I'd have to dig for the one I'm thinking of - let me know if you are interested.)

Just don't give up. Keep trying. Everyone falls on their face, until they don't.
 

Suzanne Bazemore

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todonelist

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Do things that make you feel great inside. For me, it's keeping my word to myself. When I say I'm going to do something and don't do it, I feel shame and disappointment in myself. I feel like I'm creating a future I don't want but I get "duped" into listening to the negative thoughts that persuade me to go against my word. For example, you said you've tried writing in your journal(gratitude) before but how many days did you do it? At least 21 days in a row? Consistency is key with all things. The best book on Gratitude is The Magic by Rhonda Byrne. People give her and The Secret brand a lot of flack but The Magic has incredible content on the subject of gratitude and how to use it to improve your mood AND real-world results.
 

TinyOldLady

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Jogging! I'm so proud of myself after I was jogging for half an hour (no matter how many km), that I am not able to hate myself for the rest of the day (and the next day) ;)

Or you can try another good habit (start small) and do it every day. This way your brain will see, that you can rely on yourself. How could you hate somebody, who you can rely on? :)
 

luniac

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in "the inner game of tennis" the author argues against positive thinking because it basically gives power to negative thinking.

to summarize the story in the book:
the author tennis instructor was with a group of students, he only told to them hit the ball across the net while paying attention to footwork and then just watched silently.
After most of the students did the drill, not one ball hit the net and he commented about that with a positive tone, and right then and there he ruined the magic.

The next student up instead of focusing on the instruction was now distracted by the expectation of hitting the ball over the net. That student and the rest were now occasionally hitting the net with the ball.

The positive comment actually caused insecurity and negative thoughts.

to quote the book directly
"Ending judgment means you neither add nor subtract from the facts before your eyes."

so just do what u gotta do and dont concern urself with explicitly loving or hating yourself. just be you.

easier said than done i know, good luck :)
 

Chris25

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How you think about yourself is how you feel. If you're tired of feeling like this, create a new you!

Ask yourself these questions:
  • How do I want to feel every day?
  • What am I working towards?
  • What do I want to have?
  • What do I give to the world?
Sit back, close your eyes and concentrate. Think about and imagine each one of these topics (4x 10 minutes). Really try to get in tune with the feeling of the goal. Example: I am an accomplished and happy person. I am creating.... I have the freedom to...... I give people......

Write this down. Look at that list every day and try to recall the feeling and vision you set for yourself. Remember what you're working towards, then go and do the work until it all becomes a reality.
 

Mainstream7

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What one thing could you do to regain self-esteem?
What one thing could you do to make it easier or unnecessary?

My answer would be:
Change my beliefs or do something small that makes me regain self-esteem
 

Rodrickee

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By valuing the process of becoming, rather than valuing the outcome.

Everything you've done that didn't work, every "failure", every frustration, has lead you to where you are. You can't change the past, but you can decide how you're going to move forward.

Either be bitter you're not where you want to be, or be happy that you're awake enough to be on the path.

The choice is yours my friend.
Dude, you've put what I felt reading this thread into words better than what I could've done, props!
(sorry for any bad english, not my main idiom)
 

LightHouse

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There is a lot of great anecdotal advice here, but I have more questions... if you are still participating in this thread that is....

You said you are hating yourself for still being a slave. Why is that? What is wrong with working for someone else? You know, when you have a successful business, you will have to answer to far more people and have far more responsibility to yourself and others than you do right now with a boss right?

So in knowing that, because I am certain you already did since you sound like someone who is going to achieve a lot of success. What is it making you hate providing value to a company and getting paid? What could change that? (is it possible you have a certain expectation of yourself or maybe someone else like your parents have an expectation of you, that you are not meeting?)

Also, who is it that you see yourself as? If you are not there already, are you on the path to becoming that person?
 
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404profound

404profound

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There is a lot of great anecdotal advice here, but I have more questions... if you are still participating in this thread that is....

You said you are hating yourself for still being a slave. Why is that? What is wrong with working for someone else? You know, when you have a successful business, you will have to answer to far more people and have far more responsibility to yourself and others than you do right now with a boss right?

So in knowing that, because I am certain you already did since you sound like someone who is going to achieve a lot of success. What is it making you hate providing value to a company and getting paid? What could change that? (is it possible you have a certain expectation of yourself or maybe someone else like your parents have an expectation of you, that you are not meeting?)

Also, who is it that you see yourself as? If you are not there already, are you on the path to becoming that person?
Thank you for asking me these great questions. They have stopped me dead in my tracks. I will reply again soon once I have taken time to reflect on this.
 
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404profound

404profound

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There is a lot of great anecdotal advice here, but I have more questions... if you are still participating in this thread that is....

You said you are hating yourself for still being a slave. Why is that? What is wrong with working for someone else? You know, when you have a successful business, you will have to answer to far more people and have far more responsibility to yourself and others than you do right now with a boss right?

So in knowing that, because I am certain you already did since you sound like someone who is going to achieve a lot of success. What is it making you hate providing value to a company and getting paid? What could change that? (is it possible you have a certain expectation of yourself or maybe someone else like your parents have an expectation of you, that you are not meeting?)

Also, who is it that you see yourself as? If you are not there already, are you on the path to becoming that person?
So to answer these in order...

1) Why am I hating myself for still being a slave?

Because I am being instructed on how to deliver value. My company is very old school, uses ineffective tech, and is inflexible in considering others' ideas for improvement. They hired me specifically as a business process analyst, yet when I lay down my recommendations they are met only with objection and claims that the efforts to change are too steep. It nullifies my motivation to try.

2) What is wrong with working for someone else?

Basically, no ability to scale income. I may train myself to be better at what I do, provide more value to internal customers, and so on. But no matter how hard I try and how great the results I create are, my salary lives in a "pay band" that dictates the maximum amount I can make.

3) Do I know I would have to answer to others beyond just a boss?

Yes. I do not mind having many accountable parties, as long as expectations are made clear and agreed upon upfront. What I do mind is being accountable to someone who does not value my efforts beyond checking a box.

4) What is making me hate providing value to a company and getting paid?

The thing I hate is that I'm not paid for value. I am paid for checking bureaucratic boxes, such as spending X amount of time at my shitty desk, making sure I schedule and conduct meetings that only serve as a means to waste peoples' time, making sure I produce documentation of my work - rather than producing the work itself, etc. The company defines value the way most people would define waste and/or suffering. It is being paid to control risk and maintain mediocrity, instead of being paid to take risks and incrementally improve a product or service.

5) What could change that?

This is one that really made the gears turn, and I'm still not sure I have a great answer. Since encountering MJ's books I have been singularly focused on finding a way to enter a situation where I am in control of the value I produce, and making sure I am producing premium products or services. Two years later, and here I am. Still standing at the drawing board. So perhaps the thing that can change that is an evaluation of my approach to entrepreneurship. I have a tendency to focus on what I know / what I'm capable of / what I don't know. I think it may be time to stop focusing on myself. This is new to me, and weird, admittedly. But I'm thinking perhaps if I focus on others, I can mold myself to meet their need. Then it doesn't matter what I know, it matter only that I know enough to satisfy what they need me to do. The hardest part is maintaining this mindset while being asked every day to do the opposite.

6) Who is it I see myself as?

This answer will be dark and transparent. I see myself as someone who was once a fighter jet and is now a crop duster. I was an all-american athlete, helping my collegiate track team win one championship after another. I was a regarded researcher who used to produce insightful and valuable information for academic audiences. In contrast, I am now an order-taker who despises their existence. I am a shell of what I was before leaving college. My confidence is diminished. My sense of purpose is absent. I am aimless in mission, and a ball of anxiety. In my current state, I am valueless.

7) Who do I see myself becoming?

The vision I have for myself is relatively simple: an autonomous producer. This entails setting my own parameters for work, controlling who I sell to, controlling who I work with, controlling where I do my work and when, and controlling the values by which I conduct my business and my social behavior.

The path between what I am now and what I envision as my "ought self" is hidden from my view. Perhaps it is as simple as finding a problem and solving for x, but the past two years I've been incapable of doing so. I think what it will really take is patience and commitment, which I need to work on a lot. I have a lot of respect for others that have made this transition, and my hope is to model their growth in some fashion.
 

ManliestManofMen

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I think you need to find a new job. In the meantime, you can start a side business. But if your job is making you miserable, find another one.

Give up the idea that you're supposed to be somewhere by "x" amount of time. We're all on our own journeys. Don't compare yourself to others. That's toxic and poisonous.

Be your own best friend. You'll fail. You'll make mistakes. Pick yourself up and try again. We're not perfect. Life happens. When one door closes, find another way to get inside, whether that's by knocking on the next door or going through the window. You only fail when you give up. Otherwise, it's just a set back.
 

LightHouse

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So to answer these in order...

1) Why am I hating myself for still being a slave?

Because I am being instructed on how to deliver value. My company is very old school, uses ineffective tech, and is inflexible in considering others' ideas for improvement. They hired me specifically as a business process analyst, yet when I lay down my recommendations they are met only with objection and claims that the efforts to change are too steep. It nullifies my motivation to try.
Why are you still working there? Also, if you meet resistance and that demotivates you, you need to find a new method. I wouldn't assume everything you are doing is the right approach. It might seems the best and most correct to you but clearly it isn't for your boss'es or the business. This is the same when you run your own company as well.

2) What is wrong with working for someone else?

Basically, no ability to scale income. I may train myself to be better at what I do, provide more value to internal customers, and so on. But no matter how hard I try and how great the results I create are, my salary lives in a "pay band" that dictates the maximum amount I can make.
If you want your output directly tied to income and value production, then its time to get a sales job, seriously. You will never be in a 1:1 or 1:1+ output to money situation outside of sales. So if that is truly the reason you feed yourself, then step up and see what you can do.

3) Do I know I would have to answer to others beyond just a boss?

Yes. I do not mind having many accountable parties, as long as expectations are made clear and agreed upon upfront. What I do mind is being accountable to someone who does not value my efforts beyond checking a box.
Expectations will never be clear and you will be bombarded by new problems every day. Also, customers don't care about you or value your effort. They care only about what you can do for them, which is MUCH worse than working for a company. This is something a great dose of perspective can help you right now, while you shift gears.

4) What is making me hate providing value to a company and getting paid?

The thing I hate is that I'm not paid for value. I am paid for checking bureaucratic boxes, such as spending X amount of time at my sh*tty desk, making sure I schedule and conduct meetings that only serve as a means to waste peoples' time, making sure I produce documentation of my work - rather than producing the work itself, etc. The company defines value the way most people would define waste and/or suffering. It is being paid to control risk and maintain mediocrity, instead of being paid to take risks and incrementally improve a product or service.
The words you use here make it sound as though you are serving a duty. You have a choice to be working there or anywhere else. You can make the decision to change jobs or work somewhere else. You do not get to feel sorry for yourself here because it's your choice. If you aren't happy, what is holding you in place?

5) What could change that?

This is one that really made the gears turn, and I'm still not sure I have a great answer. Since encountering MJ's books I have been singularly focused on finding a way to enter a situation where I am in control of the value I produce, and making sure I am producing premium products or services. Two years later, and here I am. Still standing at the drawing board. So perhaps the thing that can change that is an evaluation of my approach to entrepreneurship. I have a tendency to focus on what I know / what I'm capable of / what I don't know. I think it may be time to stop focusing on myself. This is new to me, and weird, admittedly. But I'm thinking perhaps if I focus on others, I can mold myself to meet their need. Then it doesn't matter what I know, it matter only that I know enough to satisfy what they need me to do. The hardest part is maintaining this mindset while being asked every day to do the opposite.
I don't think you have to be someone else for anyone. But I think you are very focused on the point and not the process. The reason I am focused on changing your perspective in your job, is because it's the best precursor you can get to running a company in your situation. You are having a hard time staying motivated there and need external factors to provide for you. Rather, you should be making that happen yourself. Stand up, take control back of your identity and make the changes in life that set you on the right path.

You have the right tool set from there to recognize an opportunity and capitalize on it when you see it, so give it some time and don't let that time fuel your disdain for not being there. Sometimes it takes a while.


My first business, i just bought equipment and started from absolute 0. I have no idea how i really even got into it, i just did.

6) Who is it I see myself as?

This answer will be dark and transparent. I see myself as someone who was once a fighter jet and is now a crop duster. I was an all-american athlete, helping my collegiate track team win one championship after another. I was a regarded researcher who used to produce insightful and valuable information for academic audiences. In contrast, I am now an order-taker who despises their existence. I am a shell of what I was before leaving college. My confidence is diminished. My sense of purpose is absent. I am aimless in mission, and a ball of anxiety. In my current state, I am valueless.
So what changed? and what in your mind will let you see yourself for who you are again? Is the all american athlete really lost? Maybe you are just on the wrong path and forgot?

It sounds like it's time to change directions. That can be as easy or as difficult as you believe it will. Your beliefs here will become your reality. You could be headed in a whole new direction in weeks if you wanted too, you just need to make a choice and a decision.

7) Who do I see myself becoming?

The vision I have for myself is relatively simple: an autonomous producer. This entails setting my own parameters for work, controlling who I sell to, controlling who I work with, controlling where I do my work and when, and controlling the values by which I conduct my business and my social behavior.

The path between what I am now and what I envision as my "ought self" is hidden from my view. Perhaps it is as simple as finding a problem and solving for x, but the past two years I've been incapable of doing so. I think what it will really take is patience and commitment, which I need to work on a lot. I have a lot of respect for others that have made this transition, and my hope is to model their growth in some fashion.

You haven't been incapable, it sounds like the right opportunity isn't there yet. It will come, but are you even prepared and in the right mindset for it? It takes a lot of self motivation and resilience to not just start something, but keep it running and profitable after all the fun and easy stuff is done. If you had a business that was making $10M/year, would you had it over to yourself right now in the state you are in if everything was at stake? Would you look for someone that is hungry, ready, confident, and know without a doubt that they would crush it and do anything it takes to turn that $10m into $20m/yr?
 
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404profound

404profound

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Why are you still working there? Also, if you meet resistance and that demotivates you, you need to find a new method. I wouldn't assume everything you are doing is the right approach. It might seems the best and most correct to you but clearly it isn't for your boss'es or the business. This is the same when you run your own company as well.



If you want your output directly tied to income and value production, then its time to get a sales job, seriously. You will never be in a 1:1 or 1:1+ output to money situation outside of sales. So if that is truly the reason you feed yourself, then step up and see what you can do.



Expectations will never be clear and you will be bombarded by new problems every day. Also, customers don't care about you or value your effort. They care only about what you can do for them, which is MUCH worse than working for a company. This is something a great dose of perspective can help you right now, while you shift gears.



The words you use here make it sound as though you are serving a duty. You have a choice to be working there or anywhere else. You can make the decision to change jobs or work somewhere else. You do not get to feel sorry for yourself here because it's your choice. If you aren't happy, what is holding you in place?



I don't think you have to be someone else for anyone. But I think you are very focused on the point and not the process. The reason I am focused on changing your perspective in your job, is because it's the best precursor you can get to running a company in your situation. You are having a hard time staying motivated there and need external factors to provide for you. Rather, you should be making that happen yourself. Stand up, take control back of your identity and make the changes in life that set you on the right path.

You have the right tool set from there to recognize an opportunity and capitalize on it when you see it, so give it some time and don't let that time fuel your disdain for not being there. Sometimes it takes a while.


My first business, i just bought equipment and started from absolute 0. I have no idea how i really even got into it, i just did.



So what changed? and what in your mind will let you see yourself for who you are again? Is the all american athlete really lost? Maybe you are just on the wrong path and forgot?

It sounds like it's time to change directions. That can be as easy or as difficult as you believe it will. Your beliefs here will become your reality. You could be headed in a whole new direction in weeks if you wanted too, you just need to make a choice and a decision.




You haven't been incapable, it sounds like the right opportunity isn't there yet. It will come, but are you even prepared and in the right mindset for it? It takes a lot of self motivation and resilience to not just start something, but keep it running and profitable after all the fun and easy stuff is done. If you had a business that was making $10M/year, would you had it over to yourself right now in the state you are in if everything was at stake? Would you look for someone that is hungry, ready, confident, and know without a doubt that they would crush it and do anything it takes to turn that $10m into $20m/yr?
Again, thank you for giving me a lot to mull over.

I suppose I would not trust myself to manage a profitable business in my current mental state.
 

ChrisV

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You might want to see someone professionally. None of us are technically qualified to give advice on this, and there may be alements of depression at play here. With self-esteem issues, there often are.
 
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404profound

404profound

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You might want to see someone professionally. None of us are technically qualified to give advice on this, and there may be alements of depression at play here. With self-esteem issues, there often are.
And yet, plenty of people have offered very helpful advice. You're in no position to diagnose whether someone needs professional help over a forum dude.
 

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babyballer

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How do people maintain self-esteem? How do you dust yourself off and regain confidence?
Do you have mercury amalgam fillings? If yes, that could be the cause since it is a symptom of mercury toxicity.

After my biological dentist took them out safely and replace them with safer material, my self esteem soared.
 

Zen Focus

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I never liked myself for almost my entire life until this year.

This year's the first year where the miraculous thing happened where I looked at myself in the mirror, and can appreciate the person I'm looking at in the eye.

What changed?

I learned to take responsibility for myself and my consequences, without blame or expectations of anything else other than me.

Everything I get today, is because of me.


In other words, I cut blame and expectations out as much as I possibly can, and only focus on managing myself.

The world is large, there is a lot of space for others to be who and how they are.

Whatever consequences happen, acknowledge that it's your responsibility. You caused it.

For example:

If you didn't understand what I said here - it's not your fault, it's mine.

If you hate me, it's my fault.

If you dislike me, it's my fault.

If you don't love me, that's what I caused as well.

Instead of seeing what others did wrong, what is their fault, their weakness, what is not desirable with the situation -

One day, try, look inwards and think: "I just need to manage myself."

All the best.
 
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Tanu1234

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I am at a point where I despise myself for still being a slave. I've been trying for multiple years to figure out how to solve real problems and start a business, and I've only fallen flat on my face.

How do people maintain self-esteem? How do you dust yourself off and regain confidence?
When you stop define you from success, relationship, social status, wealth, you start loving yourself as you are.

Socia media is number one reason make you hate yourself. Avoid social media or reduce time on social media. I only use Socia media for business purpose. Never post anything nor watch friend feeds. I know everyone is faking.

Noone is perfect and no one has perfect life.

One good book to self esteem. Must read
self esteem

Fanning Patrick

I read it and it really helped me.
 

50x

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After all the above has been said, there isn't much left to say...

Still, there is one more flipism: inside out thinking (by Michael Neill).

"Live the feeling of your thinking, don't live the feeling of the world."

What if what we experience is a projection of our thought, not a projection of the inking of the world? So there would be much perceived before we create a perception by thinking.

Still, we wouldn't be lying to ourselves more, because if you let the world keep the give the steering wheel of your experience, you're still interpreting through culturally preset filters what's happening. Your mind can paint your perception, without falling to insanity.

Get the steering wheel of your experience, think how you feel from inside out.

STOP comparison with the past or against your friends. I've work lost that before start...
Use your history to remind about what you ARE capable of. There's still hope.

(Heck, I can't do this all the way myself but it helps.)
 

Lex DeVille

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Never hated myself. Never cared what other people thought about me or my progress. Always assumed I could do anything and that I was at the top of the food chain if I chose to be.

There was never a "right" way or a "best" way. There was only "the" way I did things and the results of those efforts. For me the options have always been:

A) Figure it out and do what I want
B) Don't figure it out and do what the world dictates

Sometimes A works out. Sometimes it doesn't. But that's the way I choose to go and if I ever choose B, so what. I still won't care what anyone thinks and won't hate myself.

A lion is a lion whether it's in the wild or a zoo. An antelope is an antelope and a sheep is a sheep and those things don't change.

A lion is a predator. It does what predators do without question. Antelopes do what antelopes have to do to survive. Which one are you? If you answer, "lion" then I guess we're done here.
 

LightHouse

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STOP comparison with the past or against your friends.
This is actually really important so I wanted to pull it out.

More of a general statement here since I do not know whether or not 404profound is doing it or not but...

"The fastest way to make yourself feel bad and pity yourself, is to start comparing yourself to anything"

Literally you can go from a great mood to a bad one within seconds with this method. It requires almost no effort as well, just a few simple thoughts. Pretty scary right? Especially when you have done x, y, and z to get yourself to that good mood, you can simply screw it all with such ease. (also why Social Media can be dangerous for certain types of people)
 

LightHouse

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Again, thank you for giving me a lot to mull over.

I suppose I would not trust myself to manage a profitable business in my current mental state.
Anytime, my purpose was not to coach you at all, but rather to throw out some questions that might help you unwind what is in your head. No one including me can change anything for you, although I don't think that is what you were asking for.

I'd love to hear a follow up to those questions a week or two from now after you've worked it out some, and see the difference in the two. If you are really ready for a change, that is plenty of time to push the bar forward.

Let us know if you are up for it!
 
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404profound

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^^^ THIS is so powerful. I bet nobody even stopped to ponder it. I will put it into an example, and you can see how truly great it is, and how you can use it as a tool to overcome anything. Trust me - I know this - I've been there many times, and this is a great technique. It goes something like this:

You're a loser. No matter how hard you try, you always fail. You're wasting time and you're going nowhere. You've screwed up so much of your life.

Okay. Now let's take these little bastards on, one by one. First of all, you can ignore me completely. That's easy, because you know I don't know anything about you. That makes me an idiot, right? Okay... So if I say those things, and I'm an idiot, well - YOU'RE an idiot too. REDIRECT those thoughts. You can't stop them, but you can push them aside. You can CHOOSE to not pay them any attention.

That's how it works. And it does work.

EVERYONE has the proverbial angel and devil sitting on their shoulders whispering into their ears. Which one has more control over you? That's simple; the one you listen to. Once you are AWARE of this, you can deal with it head on.

Can you handle the truth? I don't think you can handle the truth!

View attachment 22074

But here it is anyway.

You're young. Smart. Healthy. Living in the golden age of technology. Living in the best country that has ever existed in the entire history of mankind. You know there is more to life than what you have now. And you have what you need most - time and a plan.

So tell me why you can't do it one more time. You have reasons. We all do. But I'm going to blow your reasons up right before your eyes. Right now. I'm going to take your reasons away from you and leave them crawling on the ground in front of you - no longer able to survive without you feeding them any longer. They will whither and die. Here's how.

Google Nick Vujicic. He has no right arm. No left arm either. And no legs. He had a promising career as a second base. Not a second base man - but the second base itself! Seriously - watch some of his videos and your self doubts will melt away. When you see what Nick has done, and how he lives his life, you will never think or act the same way ever again. I promise you that!
I am grateful that you mentioned Nick Vujicic. That was a potent - and necessary - dose of reality. He called out all of the shitty things I keep in my head and confronted them.
 

Kruiser

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Lots of good recommendations already. I'll add my $.02 in that it could be useful also to develop the habit of consistently reading/listening to good stuff that can improve your mindset. Consistently reading 15 minutes a day of someone like Tony Robbins (or any other good author) has helped me avoid situations where I just feel completely down and crushed. So, not really a magic bullet for what you are facing now, but something to consider. Got the idea from Hal Elrod's Miracle Morning which I heard about through MJ.
 

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