Your Step's Too Short - A Leadership Story

[Andy Black]

Back when I was 19, I was on the first day of a course to become an Assistant Club Coach for Track and Field Athletics.

We were welcomed and our first instructor was introduced - some old chap ... who just happened to be one of the top freaking coaches in England!

Wow, one of the top coaches in the country turned up to teach us newbies? I was impressed, and dumb-struck.

He commented on this too, asking whether we thought the best coaches should coach the Olympic athletes, or coach the kids who've just turned up to their first training session.

We figured the best coaches should coach the best athletes, but he just smiled and shook his head.

He reasoned that the Olympic athletes can pretty much coach themselves. That they're so passionate about the sport they'd overcome whatever problems they had... even if it meant asking for help.

Whereas... the young child who's just started in athletics needs the best coach they can get. So they get started on the right foot. So they don't get injured. So they pick up the right skills in a way they understand. And most importantly, so they enjoy themselves and don't drop out of the sport, or even worse, drop out of sports altogether.

We were going to become assistant club coaches in grass roots clubs. We were going to be the first coaches the youngest kids would interact with. This guy's mission, in the two hours he had us, was to make us good enough coaches to keep those kids coming back.


To this day, I still remember that introduction, and I remember the story he then told us to make us better coaches.

That story had a profound affect on me and is on my mind constantly.


We were told to imagine a young lad in school who shows some talent at the triple jump.

The P.E. teacher tries hard to convince the boy to go along to the local athletics club for a try out. She's sure the lad will do well and, with a bit of training, he might be able to make it to county level at least.

The boy lacks confidence though.

Eventually, after a lot of persuading, he heads down to the local athletics stadium with an introduction from the P.E. teacher.

The athletics coach asks him to warm up and "show us what you can do".

After warming up and stretching, the lad measures out his steps on the runway, readies himself, then charges towards the sandpit.

Hop. Step. Jump.

He lands in the sandpit, scrambles out and shakes the sand off.

The coach says: "Your step's too short."

The lad is crest-fallen.

He packs up, goes home, and never returns.

Four words uttered, and that talent is never fulfilled.


Instead of saying: "Your step's too short.", the coach could have said "You've a great hop, and you've a great jump. If we could get your step as good as your hop and your jump, then you'd get an extra metre into the pit."

You've said the same thing, but in a different way.

It's only a small difference, but it can make the world of difference.




(Originally posted in this thread.)

 

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[heavy_industry]

"Your step's too short"

We often see in others a reflection of ourselves.

Just remember this the next time you're being told that "business is too risky", "you don't have this or that, so you can't succeed", or any similar words of wisdom.

Sometimes this advice is being thrown around in bad faith, but usually it's just a shitty projection of the adviser's own insecurities and failure in life.

But don't argue with the naysayers either.
Just do what you know you want to do, and let the results do the talking.

 

[Andy Black]

"Your step's too short"

We often see in others a reflection of ourselves.

Just remember this the next time you're being told that "business is too risky", "you don't have this or that, so you can't succeed", or any similar words of wisdom.

Sometimes this advice is being thrown around in bad faith, but usually it's just a shitty projection of the adviser's own insecurities and failure in life.

But don't argue with the naysayers either.
Just do what you know you want to do, and let the results do the talking.

Yeah... be wary of "glass half-empty" people. Their speech patterns will give them away once you're listening for it.


Check your own speech patterns too.

"Google Ads doesn't work!"

vs

"People love my product and people search for it online. If I can get Google Ads working then I'll increase sales by x."



Check out the Yes, But thread.

• Part 1
• Part 2 is "Your Step's Too Short"
• Part 3

 

[Black_Dragon43]

I'm surprised this thread didn't get more recognition. Very useful advice when it comes to managing and working with others.

I've been struggling to be more empowering with others when giving advice, and Andy's thread has helped a lot.

The biggest challenge seems to be saying the truth, without emotionally hurting the other person. When you seek to help, you don't want the other person to feel down or depressed when reading your advice. You want them to feel excited about changing.

Before reading this, my two mistakes on this were:

1) You lie to them, and tell them what they want to hear, so that you don't break their heart.

Or

2) You tell them the "partial" truth, and hurt the relationship in the process.

The reason why I called it "partial" truth above is that you logically communicate what has to be communicated, but emotionally you're communicating something you don't really want to communicate to them.

 

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[MitchC]

I'm surprised this thread didn't get more recognition. Very useful advice when it comes to managing and working with others.

I've been struggling to be more empowering with others when giving advice, and Andy's thread has helped a lot.

The biggest challenge seems to be saying the truth, without emotionally hurting the other person. When you seek to help, you don't want the other person to feel down or depressed when reading your advice. You want them to feel excited about changing.

Before reading this, my two mistakes on this were:
1) You lie to them, and tell them what they want to hear, so that you don't break their heart.

Or

2) You tell them the "partial" truth, and hurt the relationship in the process.

The reason why I called it "partial" truth above is that you logically communicate what has to be communicated, but emotionally you're communicating something you don't really want to communicate to them.

There’s always the good old complement sandwich.

Not sure if it’s a big thing in the rest of the world but I think it’s a big enough thing here in Australia that most people know what it is and would notice it being used on them, but it’s still effective

1. Complement
2. Feedback
3. Complement

To use the example from the OP:

1. Hey man, your hop is great,
2. Your steps too short
3. But your jump is amazing

1. You’re doing this really well
2. You really need to work on this it’s terrible
3. But the good news is you are doing this amazingly

 

[MitchC]

Or my feedback to @Andy Black on this thread

Great thread, I really loved the story. The title could use some work as not many people are opening it, which is a shame because the advice in this thread is really helpful to those looking to manage employees.

 

[Johnny boy]

The lad is crest-fallen.

He packs up, goes home, and never returns.

Four words uttered, and that talent is never fulfilled.

Good, more to go around for the ones with ice in their veins.

 

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[Panos Daras]

Good, more to go around for the ones with ice in their veins.

Totally agree. If you cannot handle your step is too short, try handling a whole stadium looking at you hoping you will fail, shouting kind words about your mother

 

[Andy Black]

Good, more to go around for the ones with ice in their veins.

Totally agree. If you cannot handle your step is too short, try handling a whole stadium looking at you hoping you will fail, shouting kind words about your mother

Horses for courses.

Some kids (and people) just need a little nudge or support and they're off to the races.

 

[oneac]

Yeah... be wary of "glass half-empty" people. Their speech patterns will give them away once you're listening for it.


Check your own speech patterns too.

"Google Ads doesn't work!"

vs

"People love my product and people search for it online. If I can get Google Ads working then I'll increase sales by x."



Check out the Yes, But thread.

• Part 1
• Part 2 is "Your Step's Too Short"
• Part 3

YES, AND... you can't rise about the self image you set for yourself.

Trying to ignore the influence of your environment (the people who speak to you, the city you're in, the pop culture you're exposed to) is like putting your hands over your ears while a train is blasting its horn right in front of you...

Being mindful of the mind patterns of those around you is crucial. You're absolutely right.

Thanks Andy.

 

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[oneac]

Totally agree. If you cannot handle your step is too short, try handling a whole stadium looking at you hoping you will fail, shouting kind words about your mother

lmao that's a good way to put it

 

[Andy Black]

Or my feedback to @Andy Black on this thread

Great thread, I really loved the story. The title could use some work as not many people are opening it, which is a shame because the advice in this thread is really helpful to those looking to manage employees.

I could add a subheading to the title?

Your Step's Too Short (Parenting & Management Tip)



I usually create threads to point people to in the future, and to create a little "micro-script" that gets people to remember the thread.

e.g. Some people now understand what I mean by "diesel and coffee" after reading:

HOT! - Spend your money on diesel and coffee

"Spend your money on diesel and coffee" (Blaise Brosnan of The Management Resource Institute Wexford) Just getting started? Wondering what to spend your time and money on? Hustle. Build relationships. Make stuff happen. You'll be amazed what happens when you get out of the building...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

 

[MitchC]

Good, more to go around for the ones with ice in their veins.

Totally agree. If you cannot handle your step is too short, try handling a whole stadium looking at you hoping you will fail, shouting kind words about your mother

I think you’re half joking Johnny and that’s cool, usually I would agree or laugh along but I think some people may take it seriously and in this example we are talking about kids and people doing something for the first time

Good management is about getting the best out of people

There is a certain dynamic when you are the boss, or parent, or coach, where you can really influence how well someone does at something

Not many people are going to respond better to a tough love approach and being shit on when they do something especially for the first time, rather than something more uplifting, encouraging and confidence building like this thread talks about

That ice in your veins, or confidence has to come from somewhere

Look at kanye west, a prime example of ice in your vein’s confidence, he says all the time that it came from his Mum and how she raised him

 

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[Andy Black]

Thread title changed

From:
"Your Step's Too Short"
To:
"Your Step's Too Short - A Leadership Story"

It gives a clue anyway.


Much better than ChatGPT suggestions:

1. "Your Step's Too Short: Unleashing Potential with Positive Communication"
2. "Your Step's Too Short: Fostering Growth with Encouraging Words in Life and Leadership"
3. "Your Step's Too Short: The Transformative Power of Constructive Feedback"
4. "Your Step's Too Short: Building Confidence and Skill with Affirmative Language"
5. "Your Step's Too Short: Navigating Life's Hurdles with Supportive Dialogue"

Certainly! Here are five title suggestions using simpler language:

1. "Your Step's Too Short: How Kind Words Can Help Others Do Great Things"
2. "Your Step's Too Short: Helping Others Shine with Nice Talk"
3. "Your Step's Too Short: Using Good Words to Make a Big Change"
4. "Your Step's Too Short: How to Help People Grow with Encouraging Words"
5. "Your Step's Too Short: Building Others Up with Positive Talk"

 

[Johnny boy]

I think you’re half joking Johnny and that’s cool, usually I would agree or laugh along but I think some people may take it seriously and in this example we are talking about kids and people doing something for the first time

Good management is about getting the best out of people

There is a certain dynamic when you are the boss, or parent, or coach, where you can really influence how well someone does at something

Not many people are going to respond better to a tough love approach and being shit on when they do something especially for the first time, rather than something more uplifting, encouraging and confidence building like this thread talks about

That ice in your veins, or confidence has to come from somewhere

Look at kanye west, a prime example of ice in your vein’s confidence, he says all the time that it came from his Mum and how she raised him

No not kidding
I’m going to have a few sons in case any of them ends up a wuss.