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NOTABLE! I found the perfect mentor. How should I go about hitting him up?

jon.a

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Maybe he doesn't, at all. To be completely honest, I'm well aware that that's the most plausible outcome. But also, what if he does? You need to look at it as a risk/reward ratio. Worst case scenario, I lost a very small amount of time writing a letter. Best case scenario, he responds, and takes an interest in it. Now I have a mentor that's probably accomplished more in his life than any of the people of this forum could hope. I read this article one time, although I can't recall it now which sucks, because it would make you guys more understanding. It was a guy telling a story about how he met his first mentor. It was something about a very successful local businessman that I think owned a newspaper company or something like that. He wrote a *letter*. Got a response. The guy actually agreed to mentor him. The guy said something about he was getting old and had actually been waiting for someone to come around who he could teach, or something like that. I really don't remember but the point is, it worked. It could also come down to the fact of just giving back to his community. We are from/grew up in the same town. He was in the exact same spot I was when he was my age, and maybe he'll actually appreciate that the neighborhood kids are interested in learning about all he's accomplished. But either way, I know what I'm going to do now, so I don't need you or Lex's negativity.

THE RISK/REWARD RATIO IS GREAT.
In the mean time at least one member here had a good phone call with another this afternoon and got some actionable advice that he can put into his business tomorrow.
 

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vitality11

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Look at it this way. You're mocking/laughing at me for TRYING.

Meanwhile, I'm laughing at you, because you must not understand what a risk/reward ratio is, which is a pretty simple concept, in which case, good luck in the business world! LOL
I have not dined with you, I don't know you, but it comes across poor to me.

You are not trying. You are trying to GET.
It's all about special You...and how to get the rich guy to realize HE needs to help YOU to become RICH.

Successful people have an intelligent guard up because of people wanting handouts from them.
They have a guard up because people scheme how to get into their circle to get something out of them (E.g. Let's start a thread about how I can, if we cut the BS, manipulate my way into his good graces.)

Good luck. Maybe you are the one!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
OP
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jfny

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I wonder if MJ would appreciate you guys acting like a**holes on his forum, and bashing another member for TRYING. Something most people are too lazy to even do.

Either way, the only reply this thread will be getting from me from this point forward is to either remind you two what a risk/reward ratio is, or to let the community know if anything ever comes of it.
 
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jfny

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Successful people have an intelligent guard up because of people wanting handouts from them.
They have a guard up because people scheme how to get into their circle to get something out of them (E.g. Let's start a thread about how I can, if we cut the BS, manipulate my way into his good graces.)
My intentions aren't bad in even the slightest way.
 

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I wonder if MJ would appreciate you guys acting like a**holes on his forum, and bashing another member for TRYING. Something most people are too lazy to even do.

Either way, the only reply this thread will be getting from me from this point forward is to either remind you two what a risk/reward ratio is, or to let the community know if anything ever comes of it.
Well let's see...

Hey @MJ DeMarco what do you say?
 

Goldman snacks

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why don't you go to the next car meet, and walk round and casually talk to some of the owners and maybe ask them the questions that you would want to know.

a lot of people want a 'mentor', a lot of people want the hot girls 'number' . but who cares if you do nothing with it.

my point is, lets just say he just rang you up now and said hey, id love to be your mentor, what would you want to ask or want help with?

you don't need a signed 'mentor contract' to get these peoples info, just break the ice with small talk without acting like your needy and below their level, and then try and get them talking and ask them questions everybody loves talking about themselves, as many owners as you can find, and keep doing it EVERY meet. then one day when they are feeling generous maybe they will help you out.
 
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jfny

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This thread just has a bad vibe to it.
Yeah, now it does, mostly resulting from @SinisterLex initial comments, and @jon.a decision to help him out.
Which is why there's no point in continuing this thread. Either way, I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do, and look forward to being a part of a productive community in future threads.
 
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why don't you go to the next car meet, and walk round and casually talk to some of the owners and maybe ask them the questions that you would want to know.

a lot of people want a 'mentor', a lot of people want the hot girls 'number' . but who cares if you do nothing with it.

my point is, lets just say he just rang you up now and said hey, id love to be your mentor, what would you want to ask or want help with?

you don't need a signed 'mentor contract' to get these peoples info, just break the ice with small talk without acting like your needy and below their level, and then try and get them talking and ask them questions everybody loves talking about themselves, as many owners as you can find, and keep doing it EVERY meet. then one day when they are feeling generous maybe they will help you out.
I have a feeling that'll ultimately be what it comes down to. Which is fine.
 

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Look at it this way. You're mocking/laughing at me for TRYING.

Meanwhile, I'm laughing at you, because you must not understand what a risk/reward ratio is, which is a pretty simple concept, in which case, good luck in the business world! LOL
I think you're misinterpreting the value that these guys, @SinisterLex and @jon.a are trying to give you. They're not saying these things so you can sit back and laugh at them for not understanding the knowledge that you have. Perhaps writing a letter to this guy is too impersonal. You need to actively put yourself in front of the guy, and pester him until he says no. The cell phone is one of the greatest tools in the entrepreneurs ToolBox, so use it. The veterans of entrepreneurship on this forum are direct for a reason.
 

SteveO

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You made some initial requests and some of us began a good ol' fashion bashing. It really was not intended to be so but it turned out that way.

I wish you luck moving forward and hope that you end up with good relations.

Buried in all of our input were snippets intended to help. There was a lot of information passed along that could be an aid for you. It began to turn ugly as it felt that there was chum in the water.

I hope that you can look back at the intent of the help.
 

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Fox

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The best way to get a mentor is to already be in action in an area they have an interest in.

Last week I had a Reddit thread that went a little viral and I got a few hundred messages in the space of a week.

The only people I was interested in talking to were those already taking action. One person wrote me a massive letter about he was now committed to doing X, Y and Z and wanted to know where to start. Since that question is easily answered by a quick google (and my original thread) he didn't get much of a response.

Another guy just wrote a quick comment (not even to me) on my Facebook group about how he is nearing closing a deal using my info and wanted general advice from anyone about pricing. I messaged him and jumped on a skype call for 30 minutes. I have since helped him a lot and I think this week he is going to close a huge contract.

Why? I love talking to people who are doing and not planning. Everyone needs people to feed off and I think most people like to give back. The best people to help are those who are people already in action. Someone hitting to third base that you can help hit a home run.

From this thread it sounds to me like you are not in action. To get on this guys radar you need to be out there doing. Sinister Lex and Andy Black were two big heros of mine when I joined the forum, now I chat with them all the time (nearly too much ha). This happened cause I took action and I guess they wanted to surround themselves with people that will also motivate and push them. You see this with Andy all the time.

In short don't write a letter - go take some action. When the student is ready the teacher will appear.
 

vitality11

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Yeah, now it does, mostly resulting from @SinisterLex initial comments, and @jon.a decision to help him out.
Which is why there's no point in continuing this thread. Either way, I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do, and look forward to being a part of a productive community in future threads.
It might be just me but I felt like shit after I read your first 2-3 posts on this thread.
I would not point fingers at people who have been here for a while and have actually been providing real value to the community over a long duration.
 

Goldman snacks

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you have to listen to yourself, people still dont believe my mentors are real, they think that they are some sort of scammers even after googling the people and companies lol!

to try one mentor and get 'in' first try i will be impressed, this guy looks like the guy who mentors my mentor.

just keep trying everyone, maybe specialize a bit.

Instead of just anyone that's filthy rich, try a specific industry or path your interested in or already trying to pursue. I know some people they are very wealthy but they have a neurology business, I would have to be a doctor to take their path.
 

vitality11

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You made some initial requests and some of us began a good ol' fashion bashing. It really was not intended to be so but it turned out that way.

I wish you luck moving forward and hope that you end up with good relations.

Buried in all of our input were snippets intended to help. There was a lot of information passed along that could be an aid for you. It began to turn ugly as it felt that there was chum in the water.

I hope that you can look back at the intent of the help.
Perfect conclusion to a learning thread :)
 

AgainstAllOdds

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I wonder if MJ would appreciate you guys acting like a**holes on his forum, and bashing another member for TRYING.
A lot of people hear that getting a mentor is the easiest way to becoming rich. And it is in a way, but you're following the wrong formula. The formula you're following is:

1. Get a mentor
2. Get rich.

The real formula is:

1. Start doing stuff.
2. Find someone that has expertise in doing that stuff, likes you, and has a reason to help you out.
3. Get better at doing that stuff.
4. Meanwhile offer value along the way to the mentor.
5. Increase your chance of success, and maybe get rich.

You pretend that you're "TRYING", but really you're not. You're looking for the easy way out. You're looking to send a single letter that will change your life forever. You're not taking any control over your own life, but hoping that some random guy with lots of nice cars will. That's why this forum is apprehensive to your approach.

Think of it from your potential mentor's perspective:

He gets a handwritten letter in the mail. Opens it. Start reading. The letter says: "Hey, I noticed that you have a lot of pictures of nice cars on your instagram, and I want to get rich because I'm important. So I found your address on whitepages and wrote you this letter. I haven't started a business or ever tried, but know that if you're my mentor, I'll make it worth your while."

Then why would that guy mentor you? Personally I'd throw your letter in the trash and up my security system.

@jon.a and @SinisterLex give value. They think in terms of value. You displayed zero potential value to your prospective mentor, and only displayed a personal want. You made it about YOU, and not about HIM. They gave you criticism because of that, and then because it hurt your ego, you overreacted.

Send the letter if you want, but it won't work. You need to work on yourself, how you approach others, and the value that you can bring others before they even want to help you out.
 
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jfny

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Perhaps writing a letter to this guy is too impersonal. You need to actively put yourself in front of the guy, and pester him until he says no.
Yeah, but a big part of the reason I was leaning toward a letter is because I think it's the least intrusive. Annoying the crap out of him seems like a guaranteed way to get a no.
I hope that you can look back at the intent of the help.
I actually did get a lot of good recommendations out of this thread that helped me think of how I should go about it. Which is great, because that was actually the point of the thread. And I appreciate your input. You seem to be a little more understanding/open minded than some of the others, which actually provided more value and made you a bigger help than they were.
It might be just me but I felt like shit after I read your first 2-3 posts on this thread.
I don't know why you would think that. After rereading those post, yes it is obvious that I am trying to get something out of it. But a few people are confusing that "something" with a sort of monetary gain, when in reality, the only thing I was ever seeking was knowledge.
Instead of just anyone that's filthy rich, try a specific industry or path your interested in or already trying to pursue. I know some people they are very wealthy but they have a neurology business, I would have to be a doctor to take their path.
Fortunately for me, he apparently became successful in the same field I have an interest in, so hopefully there is a way to make it work. But who knows. Time will tell.
You pretend that you're "TRYING", but really you're not. You're looking for the easy way out.
The letter says: "Hey, I noticed that you have a lot of pictures of nice cars on your instagram, and I want to get rich because I'm important. So I found your address on whitepages and wrote you this letter. I haven't started a business or ever tried, but know that if you're my mentor, I'll make it worth your while."You displayed zero potential value to your prospective mentor, and only displayed a personal want. You made it about YOU, and not about HIM. They gave you criticism because of that, and then because it hurt your ego, you overreacted.
I'm more than willing put in hard work myself, but if there was an *easier* way out, or a helping hand, wouldn't you take it?
That's also not anywhere near how I would word the letter. Although I might attempt a different approach altogether based on all the feedback.
BTW, I have attempted to create my own business, a few times actually, and have numerous plans for future businesses, although I am currently in the process of saving up a little more capital before I give it a go.
I also expressed wanting to provide value to him in some way, I just said I wasn't exactly sure how yet. I never expected it was going to be a one way street. I know how it is.
Overreact? More like bring to light that their "critism" wasn't "constructive critisism" and seemed more just like an attempt to bash.
 
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jfny

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Status update: Considering different approaches. Really like the car meet method. Thinking of ways I can provide him value and make it worth his time.
 

NoLackey

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The car meetup is clearly the best option.

I'd make an effort to bump into him ...then do it a few more times so you are at least on his radar as that guy I talked to at the car meetup. I wouldn't dive right in offering or asking for shit the first couple of times. I bet he gets that approach constantly. Talk to him like you would anyone else as long as he's cool and open to chatting.

Keep in mind "ways to provide him value" doesn't necessarily have to be specific if you don't have anything at this point. You could just be an eager, smart,hungry person who can help out with more menial tasks and go from that point.
 

RHL

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Maybe he doesn't, at all. To be completely honest, I'm well aware that that's the most plausible outcome.
Then don't proceed until there's a more plausible outcome. All the ready-fire-aim stuff got people too hyped up. You go before everything is perfect, but you don't rush in with no game plan and no strategy. That's how you lose golden opportunities, money, and time. The first person I met like your mentor, I looked at his business for a while, really studied it and figured out where things were coming in and going out. I found an area that he didn't seem to be very good at. Probably, he didn't see the profit potential or wasn't savvy enough to exploit that aspect.

It worked, we met and spent six hours talking about things within 5 days of placing the call, and all I did was sort of fumblingly explained to him what I could do. 3 minute cold call, and done.

If you can't think of anything he needs from you yet, you need to stop thinking about how to get info and time from this guy, and start thinking about how to give him something. And something that matters, not something trite or replaceable. Shouldn't be hard.
 

Andy Black

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I just don't know him well enough to know what he could possibly need help with right now.
Huh?


Who do you think an entrepreneur would rather work with?

Someone who lets an obstacle stop him?

Or someone who'll "figure it out"?




Notice how I said "work with" rather than "mentor"?

Why do you think one will be more beneficial to both of you than the other?
 

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Andy Black

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The best way to get a mentor is to already be in action in an area they have an interest in.

Last week I had a Reddit thread that went a little viral and I got a few hundred messages in the space of a week.

The only people I was interested in talking to were those already taking action. One person wrote me a massive letter about he was now committed to doing X, Y and Z and wanted to know where to start. Since that question is easily answered by a quick google (and my original thread) he didn't get much of a response.

Another guy just wrote a quick comment (not even to me) on my Facebook group about how he is nearing closing a deal using my info and wanted general advice from anyone about pricing. I messaged him and jumped on a skype call for 30 minutes. I have since helped him a lot and I think this week he is going to close a huge contract.

Why? I love talking to people who are doing and not planning. Everyone needs people to feed off and I think most people like to give back. The best people to help are those who are people already in action. Someone hitting to third base that you can help hit a home run.

From this thread it sounds to me like you are not in action. To get on this guys radar you need to be out there doing. Sinister Lex and Andy Black were two big heros of mine when I joined the forum, now I chat with them all the time (nearly too much ha). This happened cause I took action and I guess they wanted to surround themselves with people that will also motivate and push them. You see this with Andy all the time.

In short don't write a letter - go take some action. When the student is ready the teacher will appear.
^^^ This.

"Help the people in motion."

This isn't just advice for finding your market (people already spending money on what you sell), but good life advice in general.


There's a guy who pops up on my radar every once in a while with a big long email explaining why he's not done anything since the last big long email.

It takes up my time reading it.

And I've no interest in helping him since he's not lifted a finger to help himself.
 

Andy Black

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Then don't proceed until there's a more plausible outcome. All the ready-fire-aim stuff got people too hyped up. You go before everything is perfect, but you don't rush in with no game plan and no strategy. That's how you lose golden opportunities, money, and time. The first person I met like your mentor, I looked at his business for a while, really studied it and figured out where things were coming in and going out. I found an area that he didn't seem to be very good at. Probably, he didn't see the profit potential or wasn't savvy enough to exploit that aspect.

It worked, we met and spent six hours talking about things within 5 days of placing the call, and all I did was sort of fumblingly explained to him what I could do. 3 minute cold call, and done.

If you can't think of anything he needs from you yet, you need to stop thinking about how to get info and time from this guy, and start thinking about how to give him something. And something that matters, not something trite or replaceable. Shouldn't be hard.
^^^ This too.

Study his business and how to help him.



As @RHL says:

"It shouldn't be hard."



Questions to ask yourself:

What would a younger MJ do?

What would younger Vigilante do?

What would younger biophase do?

What would younger icecreamkid do?

What would a younger Richard Branson do?



Pick your business hero and imagine what they would do. That will help you be bolder, more street smart, and more results focused.

What's stopping you?
 

Nicoknowsbest

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Some people might have a wrong understanding of what a mentor is.

Let me use a metaphor: sailing.

You are a simple fisherman who lives at the sea.

To get better fish, you want to sail from the crowded, noisy coast to a beautiful, untouched island.

The waters around this island house the biggest and tastiest fish.

You don't have a boat, it's too far to swim, and there are not boats for rent.

Nobody will allow you on their boat.

So how do you make it to this magic place?

You build your own boat.

You go and buy strong, durable wood. The best you can get for your budget.

You go and buy the biggest canvas you find.

Day in, day out, you work on your boat.

Once you are ready, you launch it.

You don't wait for the perfect wind - who knows when it will come?

You use the wind that is blowing right now. It is enough to leave the harbor and start on your journey.

While sailing, you meet the owner of a beautiful sailing ship, trying to catch some fish for lunch.

It's one of the first times he is trying to fish.

You sit down with him and show him how to catch his lunch.

The moment you want to continue your journey, he tells you to change your course and tighten your sail.

He sends you to an area with the best winds that will get you to your desired island much faster.

And this is what a mentor is.

A mentor is someone who helps you make course corrections when already sailing.

But for this, you need to leave the harbor.

To leave the harbor, you need a boat.

You are trying to sail without a sail, without a boat.

You can have the strongest winds, but won't go anywhere.

Build your boat first.

And don't scare away the people who want to help you with that.
 

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My 10 second plan...

- Get a decent camera and do a quick course on taking cool photos
- Do another course on photo editing as it relates to cars
- Go to car show and take pics of everyones cars
- Create FB group for the pics where people can join and you can communicate with them
- Most likely this will be 50-200 business owners (if it is a high end car show)
- Slowly blend in personal content and business on the car page but in very small amounts
- Build a relationship with these people slowly over time that is more then just about cars. Have your FB group the place where these guys connect with other business owners.

If he is into cars and has a huge social media following then you can add value by supplying cools pics that he can use on his platforms. That could easily turn into taking some pics of more cars at his house and an actual connection.
 

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The real formula is:

1. Start doing stuff.
2. Find someone that has expertise in doing that stuff, likes you, and has a reason to help you out.
3. Get better at doing that stuff.
4. Meanwhile offer value along the way to the mentor.
5. Increase your chance of success, and maybe get rich.

You pretend that you're "TRYING", but really you're not. You're looking for the easy way out. You're looking to send a single letter that will change your life forever. You're not taking any control over your own life, but hoping that some random guy with lots of nice cars will. That's why this forum is apprehensive to your approach.
This is fantastic advice and is exactly what I personally experienced.

Before I got going with my startup I kept on thinking "if only I could meet so and so", or "I just wish I could get some advice from...". But, as soon as you start something and have something to show people will automatically be interested in you and what you're doing. They'll also know you're not going to waste their time because you've done more than 99.9% of people out there!

The second way I got my mentors was through introductions. If you can get an introduction to meet this gentleman, then you are much more likely to get that mentor.

The point is that for both of the above it's best to try and get something going and then look for mentors and not do it the other way round. You don't need a mentor to get started on your journey!
 

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Let the forum be your mentor. A successful business person will lead you with the knowledge that he has.

This forum is leading you with the collective knowledge of 1000s of successful business people.

I've only been here a week, and I literally can't think of a business situation that couldn't be solved or improved by the input from members of this forum.
 

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So much good advice in this thread OP.

I'm a successful slowlaner and occasionally I'll get people asking to take me to lunch or buy me coffee.

You know how these conversations ALWAYS go? They are looking for the event that made me "rich"

They want that silver bullet that they can duplicate. What a waste of time for me. Bleh.

Anyway, I have mentors. (a couple are true fastlane, others are not) I met all of them by being involved in the businesses they were already involved in. They don't even realize they are mentoring me, they just talk and I listen. One I used to work for, one is a good customer of mine, another I am a customer of his.

Take action and make things happen, and it's amazing who you end up meeting.
 

MJ DeMarco

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Read Millionaire Fastlane
I've Read UNSCRIPTED
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Jul 23, 2007
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