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NOTABLE! I found the perfect mentor. How should I go about hitting him up?

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I have a story that follows this idea of a "perfect mentor". There was a guy locally in my old hometown that owned over 5,000 mobile homes. Guy was raking in millions a month. My dad knew him personally, as we ran all the internet cables and networking stuff in his new building he purchased. For years and years we ran cables at this guys various business and we were the first person to call when a computer was infected etc, so we were trusted with the backend of his business. I was always around and admired how simple the guy was, Looking at him, you couldn't tell that he was worth millions. I decided one day after reading TMF that i'd give him a call and see if he would mentor me.

I called and he answered, I basically said "I'm X Guys son, and we help manage your internet and servers, I'd like to ask you questions about how you became so successful in life, and i'd like to buy you lunch." And he simply burst out laughing and said "No one has ever called to ask me what made me successful, and I certainly don't do "lunch" with anyone... come on down to my office on friday." At this point I was pretty scared that I might've messed up.

Friday came and I walked into his office and sat down. He told me about how he just acquired one property at a time and kicked people out when they didn't pay so the next could come in. He told me how he'd built something so large he wouldn't even know how to get out of it if he wanted to. He also told me the names of people and companies of other local guys who might be willing to teach me a thing or two. Some were owners of gas companies, and some were owners of other super mega corporations. He offered to introduce me.

But the only real advice he had to me directly was to not make money the major priority, to provide something to people first, and then he told me he wished me luck on my en-devours and to get out of his office and make something of myself, because if i keep doing what I'm doing now, i'll be successful.


My point with this story is I thought he was THE PERFECT MENTOR, but he wasn't. He didn't want a kid who was 18 at the time to pester him daily. He just wanted to sit in a boat and fish all day with his grand kids as he told me.

But he did teach me about going for what I want. He taught me how to be resourceful when times are slim, and taught me to stand up for what I want in life. If I want it, I have to go get it. He opened so many doors for me. Due to him, I moved across the country and sought after other mentors who also changed my life for the better.

There is no perfect mentor out there, just the one that's best for you at this current time. These mentors are just people, and if you go in thinking they're perfect, you're bound to be disappointed.

Edit: The other thing to note, was that in the things he was telling me, were opportunities that I never pursued.
 

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MidwestLandlord

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My point with this story is I thought he was THE PERFECT MENTOR, but he wasn't.
Yeah...perfect mentors are a fairy tale like the tooth fairy, santa claus, the perfect woman, and getting wealthy off your 401(k).

Good post!
 

MJ DeMarco

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Yeah...perfect mentors are a fairy tale like the tooth fairy, santa claus, the perfect woman, and getting wealthy off your 401(k).
You forgot the secret millionaire hotline -- you know, that secret toll-free hotline you have exclusive access to if you just buy our "get rich" program for 3 easy payments of $99.95.

There are thousands of millionaires who have nothing better to do other than sit in a call-center all day fielding calls from informericial "get rich quick" buyers!
 

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You forgot the secret millionaire hotline -- you know, that secret toll-free hotline you have exclusive access to if you just buy our "get rich" program for 3 easy payments of $99.95.

There are thousands of millionaires who have nothing better to do other than sit in a call-center all day fielding calls from informericial "get rich quick" buyers!
Christmas special right now though, 5 easy payments of $19.99!
 

Fox

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Been here since April..

Screen Shot 2016-12-12 at 2.19.53 PM.png

2 likes

Been here since Tuesday...

Screen Shot 2016-12-12 at 2.19.37 PM.png


This forum is leading you with the collective knowledge of 1000s of successful business people.

I've only been here a week, and I literally can't think of a business situation that couldn't be solved or improved by the input from members of this forum.
Who is most likely to get a mentor from this forum?

Who is most likely to get a mentor in real life?

There is already enough advice in this ONE thread to get started.
 
OP
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jfny

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My 10 second plan...
It's a good idea. I like it.
Let the forum be your mentor.
I've gotten a lot of great information out of this forum already. I know it is.
OP comes across as someone who is willing to work hard to find a shortcut... but is not willing to work hard.
With all do respect MJ, I don't think you know me well enough to form that conclusion. There's a lot of projects I've been working hard on, and a lot more to come. You ask one question and...
Been here since April...
Been here since Tuesday...
There is already enough advice in this ONE thread to get started.
Less time reading, and more time doing. I've already gotten started.
I hope that he doesn't stalk the guy.
I look forward to the knowledge you can share in future threads but right now you're not contributing anything of value, and I don't know of a more polite way to tell you to shut the hell up.

I see the wave coming in already:
- Who are you to tell him that?
- You need to be more respectful.
- He was just trying to help.

Oh really? Was he?

Although I do appreciate your first few posts, where the intent was different.

This thread is basically dead, by the way. The question has been answered 10x over.
 
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MJ DeMarco

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I don't think you know me well enough to form that conclusion.
You are absolutely correct.

However in my experience, most young people looking for "mentorship" aren't looking for legitimate mentorship where they will do WHATEVER it takes -- they're looking for someone to do the work and take the risk.

Do the hard work and show the world you are valuable and you won't have an issue finding mentors.

From my POV, you don't want to do "that work" -- you want to do "other work" pertaining to attracting a mentor with absolutely nothing to show of attractiveness other than a personal belief that you are special and different than the other hundreds kids who want attention from this same guy ...

And here's the other thing you still haven't figured out -- you are already being mentored here in this thread but you don't like the advice ... so you will continue searching until someone gives you the answers you like, versus getting the answers you need.

Good luck my friend.
 
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biophase

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I'd like to chime in here...

12 years ago I moved to Arizona and SteveO was a very respected and experienced member of another forum and I was a nobody on there. I sent him a PM and asked if we could meet. I was looking for a mentor at that time, and my thought was that maybe I could manage one of his apartment complexes. I wish I still had that PM or email. I don't remember what it said, but it probably did not say, will you mentor me and teach me how to buy apartment buildings? SteveO said yes and we met at one of his apartment complexes.

I have received a letter in my mail to my home from someone on this forum in past. My friends found it creepy. Especially since he did not include his forum name. So basically to me it was a random guy sending me a letter saying thanks for all my posts. I found it flattering, but was not compelled to write back or call. I mean there was no reason for me to. Do you normally respond to thank you letters? To this day, I don't know who it was.

Lastly, being that I am in the process of choosing 10 clients for my ecommerce program right now, I can tell you that actions have consequences. You can't just make bad posts or be a dick on the forum and then expect me to magically choose you over 10 other "normal" people. Maybe this would be obvious but I do read the past posts of my applicants. I want to see who I'm dealing with.

If I am already ignoring you on the forum, chances are 100% that you won't be picked. And, yes that has happened. You have already done something in the past that made me hit the ignore button. There's no chance I would want to mentor you and talk to you for 6 months no matter what you are willing to pay. I only ignore 6-8 people on here BTW.

If your past posts are just argumentative or come off as trolling, I'm probably not going to get along with you. If your past posts have no value at all and are just comments, bumps or feel like post count raising, that raises a bunch of red flags to me.

Remember, the person mentoring you probably has alot of things to do, many friends to hang with and doesn't need new friends. If you are going to get into his circle, he has to like you and get along with you. As someone on the mentor side, I have to think, do I want to talk to this guy for months or years? Why do I want to become friends with this person? I don't necessary think about value for me. Because value for me could just be a friend or a cool guy to hang with. But you have to be that cool guy first, and not the creep dude, or the dude that just wants something.
 

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OP comes across as someone who is willing to work hard to find a shortcut... but is not willing to work hard.
I 100% agree with MJ here. Let me ask the me, you want this guy to "teach you", but teach you what? What field? What industry?

You have a 30 minute coffee session with him and what do you ask him? What do you talk about?

It's like having a 30 minute coaching session with Michael Jordan and you have never picked up a basketball in your life. How does talking to Jordan help you in this scenario?
 
OP
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jfny

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You have already done something in the past that made me hit the ignore button. There's no chance I would want to mentor you and talk to you for 6 months no matter what you are willing to pay. I only ignore 6-8 people on here BTW.
You and a few other people have commented on this thread and I apologize for not responding adequately. I probably will tomorrow as I'm getting ready for bed. It's currently 6:16am in CT, and I've not gone to bed yet because I've been going in on this project I'm working on. (For those of you who think I don't do anything). But one thing that caught my eye in your post which I want to address is, *I* have already done something in the past to make you hit the ignore button? That's pretty surprising. Especially considering I've been almost non-existent on this forum aside from the last day or two. I also think it's pretty narcissistic of you to just assume that I would even WANT to be apart of your ecommerce class.

I appreciate the rest of your post though. Thanks.

But either way, I'm hitting the sack. I'll check back tomorrow.
 

Andy Black

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What's the first thing you should do when you realise you're digging a hole?

Stop digging.



What would happen if we always started a reply with "Thank you for ..." and work out what to be thankful for - *and* expressed it.



I've had people make comments I didn't agree with or didn't like. I get *extra* polite in those circumstances. "Thanks for taking the time to reply. I didn't think of it that way. That's helpful to know. Thanks."



Learning to "give thanks" is hard but it's well worth it.



I too have mentored people in this forum. I've also worked with clients and contractors from the forum. I too will look back at their recent posts.

It's amazing the insight you can get into someone's personality and values purely from the first sentence in each of their posts. Check out the first sentences of posts by @BaraQueenbee, @Nicoknowsbest, @BellaPippin, @ChickenHawk.

Compare the first sentences with people who've got themselves banned.

There's a pattern if you care to look.



Heck, check out my own posts. How do I start them? How do I finish them? There's a reason why the guys invited me to share the headaches of being a mod (I jest) - and it ain't cos of my technical skills at AdWords.



Want to be successful in business? Realise then that business is about building *relationships*.

Want more profits? Get Repeat Business and Referrals.

Want Repeat Business and Referrals? Add value and build RELATIONSHIPS.



As I mention in the post linked to below, "it's just a forum".

Why not choose to be the person you aspire to be?

Why not start now?



The post:
 

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SteveO

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I don't remember what it said, but it probably did not say, will you mentor me and teach me how to buy apartment buildings? SteveO said yes and we met at one of his apartment complexes.
I remember that meeting. I also remember offering you, a person that I had just met for the first time, the highest level position in my company. You did not even have experience in the field. But, there was something about you...

You did not accept it.
 

Lex DeVille

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I remember how yesterday I had two one-hour calls with multi-millionaires who paid me to understand how they run their business and to help them figure out how to improve and grow. Funny thing is, I didn't write either a letter. I also didn't call them a**holes.

Mostly I just listened and took notes. :pompus:
 

Andy Black

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I remember how yesterday I had two one-hour calls with multi-millionaires who paid me to understand how they run their business and to help them figure out how to improve and grow.
This is why I love providing a B2B service. I mentioned it earlier in this thread, but I think it sank without a trace.

I LOVE getting paid to learn from, and to network with successful business owners.



Mostly I just listened and took notes. :pompus:
Yeah, yeah. We know that about you.

Mostly I do all the talking. And y'all know that about me too.

(AndyTalks with @SinisterLex about Selling & Scaling)
 

MidwestLandlord

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How to read a book by Mortimer Adler

In this book he talks about how you will not learn from what you are reading, if you are not willing to open yourself up to the information. Of course critical reading skills are important, don't believe everything you read.

However, if you close your mind, if you put up mental walls and refuse to humble yourself and learn...how will you get anywhere? All you do then is run around confirming your own confirmation bias. We see this all the time with those in the slowlane and sidewalk. I'm guilty of it myself. (more than I care to admit. It's by far my biggest mindset issue)

Learning is a humbling experience. It can be very uncomfortable.

In a thread the other day, I gave advice. @Utopia corrected me, and he didn't beat around the bush about it.

I saw red for about half a second. But you know what? He was RIGHT, his way was BETTER, and I LEARNED from him. Now I will take that advice and use it to better care for my customers while protecting my own interests. (his prior posts proved to me he gives lots of value here, and I'm thankful he gave me that advice)

All I had to do was humble myself and take the advice to heart. That's not easy. Not easy at all. But it is necessary.
 
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Andy Black

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How to read a book by Mordimer Adler

In this book he talks about how you will not learn from what you are reading, if you are not willing to open yourself up to the information. Of course critical reading skills are important, don't believe everything you read.

However, if you close your mind, if you put up mental walls and refuse to humble yourself and learn...how will you get anywhere? All you do then is run around confirming your own confirmation bias. We see this all the time with those in the slowlane and sidewalk. I'm guilty of it myself. (more than I care to admit. It's by far my biggest mindset issue)

Learning is a humbling experience. It can be very uncomfortable.

In a thread the other day, I gave advice. @Utopia corrected me, and he didn't beat around the bush about it.

I saw red for about half a second. But you know what? He was RIGHT, his way was BETTER, and I LEARNED from him. Now I will take that advice and use it to better care for my customers while protecting my own interests. (his prior posts proved to me he gives lots of value here, and I'm thankful he gave me that advice)

All I had to do was humble myself and take the advice to heart. That's not easy. Not easy at all. But it is necessary.
I remember that post, and how you responded.

You're too shy to link to it, so I'll do it <<Click here to see how to respond after you've seen red>>


I didn't like how some of the replies were worded either but I kept my own replies civil, sold my point of view, and we all rode off happily into the sunset.

I'd quite happily go for a pint or coffee with anyone in that thread.


I do recall linking to that thread before as an example of people taking a bit of heat but responding maturely and turning it around.

Like I said earlier, it's not a surprise considering the thread was about negotiating.
 

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I'm in no place to say if this thread is worth Gold or not. But anyone willing to wade through some negative posts will find a goldmine of info and advice about mentorship, people skills, and generally how to be a good human. VITAL skills in the business world.
 

Raoul Duke

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First and foremost, I know this thread is better suited for the "Finding a Mentor" category but it wouldn't let me post there for some reason. This was the second best choice because it is based off of mindset.

Completely by accident, I discovered that there is a VERY successful multi-millionaire who has been right under my nose living in the same town as me for the last 21 years and I didn't know until today.

I think he is the absolute perfect candidate for a mentor. I want to contact him ask if he could basically "teach me".

I have a few various ways I could do so. I know his social media accounts, and thanks to the help of WhitePages, I also have his address, and phone number (a little creepy huh?).

Anyways, I can't hit him up on social media because he has a huge following and the chances of the messages being drowned out with all the other ones are very high. He will likely never see it.

Technically I have his phone number but I don't think the best route would be to just call him up and be like "Hey, teach me!"

My thought is the best way would be to maybe write him a nice letter and introduce myself, mention how I found him in the first place, tell him I'm interested in the knowledge he holds (lol), and what I would be willing to offer him in return (I don't have a whole lot). Sending a letter seems a little less in-his-face then simply calling his phone unannounced. Also, we live in a relatively quiet town in Connecticut where a lot of people don't even know he is staying, he's doing a really good job at staying under the radar, so I feel the chances of him actually receiving/reading a letter are a lot higher.

I want to get your guys opinions because I would rather not bombard this guy with all sorts of different attempts. I would rather contact him once and hopefully be done with the goal of not annoying him.

That being said. Do you think a letter is the best route? If not, what would you recommend? How should I approach this? What can I offer him in return for some knowledge that might be of use to him, based on the fact that I don't really have a whole lot.

How should I approach this? Thanks guys.


This is the impression I get from you......


 

Raoul Duke

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How to read a book by Mortimer Adler

In this book he talks about how you will not learn from what you are reading, if you are not willing to open yourself up to the information. Of course critical reading skills are important, don't believe everything you read.

However, if you close your mind, if you put up mental walls and refuse to humble yourself and learn...how will you get anywhere? All you do then is run around confirming your own confirmation bias. We see this all the time with those in the slowlane and sidewalk. I'm guilty of it myself. (more than I care to admit. It's by far my biggest mindset issue)

Learning is a humbling experience. It can be very uncomfortable.

In a thread the other day, I gave advice. @Utopia corrected me, and he didn't beat around the bush about it.

I saw red for about half a second. But you know what? He was RIGHT, his way was BETTER, and I LEARNED from him. Now I will take that advice and use it to better care for my customers while protecting my own interests. (his prior posts proved to me he gives lots of value here, and I'm thankful he gave me that advice)

All I had to do was humble myself and take the advice to heart. That's not easy. Not easy at all. But it is necessary.

https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/how-to-read-a-book/
 

MJ DeMarco

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But one thing that caught my eye in your post which I want to address is, *I* have already done something in the past to make you hit the ignore button? That's pretty surprising. Especially considering I've been almost non-existent on this forum aside from the last day or two. I also think it's pretty narcissistic of you to just assume that I would even WANT to be apart of your ecommerce class.
Geez, he's not alluding you want in his eCom class ... he's alluding that your body of posts are being evaluated.

And the 1-percenters here (the folks who are in your mentor-target) are trying to tell you nicely that you are coming across as self-entitled and not willing to listen.

Thread marked NOTABLE.
 

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Definitely a Gold Thread.

OP has probably gotten a few $$$$ worth of free advice from several millionaires and highly successful entrepreneurs on this thread.

He probably won't take it but I think many others will.
 

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I've been looking for a mentor for what seems like forever.

I've gotten some no-replies, and if I'm lucky, some bits of advice here and there. Every successful person I ever encounter I always try to ask for advice, I want to see how they view the world since perception is everything.

I have nothing tangible to offer, yet. I know I can be of worth intangibly, or in some way or another.

At this point, to generate true wealth and success, and to be able to help people on a large scale, I am willing to do anything short of me hurting anyone or selling my soul lol. You can throw a few more things in there but you get the point lol.

All I want is to give my family a great life while they are here man. Soon.
 

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Thread marked NOTABLE.
I love the fact that this thread has so many heavy hitters on this forum participating in it and yet there is still heavy resistance from OP. As a noob to a noob on this forum. I'm definitely getting a lot of good advice on here, I know someone said earlier that let this Forum be your mentor. This is exactly what happened for me I roamed around this forum like a chicken with no head for a few months and trying different fronts that happened to not fit what I wanted to focus on.

If you don't believe me, you can read my progress thread here and when I proved that I was doing something worthwhile people reached out and offered help. I didn't have to write a letter or walk up to the door to get a mentor, they actually presented themselves to me once I proved that I was getting my hands dirty. This new direction where I can start working on happened less than a month ago. Now I'm getting a few clients and also I'm talking to a few people that have had success in what I'm trying to do and actually growing as an entrepreneur.

Give and you shall receive.
 

Andy Black

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I love the fact that this thread has so many heavy hitters on this forum participating in it and yet there is still heavy resistance from OP. As a noob to a noob on this forum. I'm definitely getting a lot of good advice on here, I know someone said earlier that let this Forum be your mentor. This is exactly what happened for me I roamed around this forum like a chicken with no head for a few months and trying different fronts that happened to not fit what I wanted to focus on.

If you don't believe me, you can read my progress thread here and when I proved that I was doing something worthwhile people reached out and offered help. I didn't have to write a letter or walk up to the door to get a mentor, they actually presented themselves to me once I proved that I was getting my hands dirty. This new direction where I can start working on happened less than a month ago. Now I'm getting a few clients and also I'm talking to a few people that have had success in what I'm trying to do and actually growing as an entrepreneur.

Give and you shall receive.
It's not just "Give and you shall receive".

People also like to "Help the people in motion".

I personally believe "The person who'll run with the ball is the person who catches it".

And of course people are judged on how they do the little things because "How you do anything is how you do everything".





...

Maaaaan, I'm full of these one-liners. I guess this is what happens when we repeat ourselves day in day out? We trot off one-liners or we go insane.

Hmmm... I really must open an Instagram account and post a meme a day and see what happens.
 

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It's not just "Give and you shall receive".

People also like to "Help the people in motion".

I personally believe "The person who'll run with the ball is the person who catches it".

And of course people are judged on how they do the little things because "How you do anything is how you do everything".





...

Maaaaan, I'm full of these one-liners. I guess this is what happens when we repeat ourselves day in day out? We trot off one-liners or we go insane.

Hmmm... I really must open an Instagram account and post a meme a day and see what happens.

Looks like I have to go back and review Lex's threads and work on my copy writing ;)... One-liners are nifty and I just couldn't resist.
 

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You made some initial requests and some of us began a good ol' fashion bashing. It really was not intended to be so but it turned out that way.

I wish you luck moving forward and hope that you end up with good relations.

Buried in all of our input were snippets intended to help. There was a lot of information passed along that could be an aid for you. It began to turn ugly as it felt that there was chum in the water.

I hope that you can look back at the intent of the help.
Hey @SteveO , I can honestly say that out of all the members in this forum your posts touch me the most. Some of the posts had nothing to do with business. Just general advice on life and having compassion for others and yourself. I think thats good mentorship.
 

Greg R

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Free accountability. I will just leave this... here.

https://www.score.org/

Retired entrepreneurs looking to help other entrepreneurs for free. Guaranteed that they have some to help you in your field of interest.

OR just start a progress thread.
 

FreshStart87

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You are absolutely correct.

However in my experience, most young people looking for "mentorship" aren't looking for legitimate mentorship where they will do WHATEVER it takes -- they're looking for someone to do the work and take the risk.

Do the hard work and show the world you are valuable and you won't have an issue finding mentors.

From my POV, you don't want to do "that work" -- you want to do "other work" pertaining to attracting a mentor with absolutely nothing to show of attractiveness other than a personal belief that you are special and different than the other hundreds kids who want attention from this same guy ...

And here's the other thing you still haven't figured out -- you are already being mentored here in this thread but you don't like the advice ... so you will continue searching until someone gives you the answers you like, versus getting the answers you need.

Good luck my friend.
How does he come up with this?
Excellence

P.S. This guy has more mentors participating in this thread right under his nose. I suppose @jon.a is correct that he would have more success finding mentors here.
 
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biophase

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You and a few other people have commented on this thread and I apologize for not responding adequately. I probably will tomorrow as I'm getting ready for bed. It's currently 6:16am in CT, and I've not gone to bed yet because I've been going in on this project I'm working on. (For those of you who think I don't do anything). But one thing that caught my eye in your post which I want to address is, *I* have already done something in the past to make you hit the ignore button? That's pretty surprising. Especially considering I've been almost non-existent on this forum aside from the last day or two. I also think it's pretty narcissistic of you to just assume that I would even WANT to be apart of your ecommerce class.

I appreciate the rest of your post though. Thanks.

But either way, I'm hitting the sack. I'll check back tomorrow.
My post was not directed at you. I do not ignore you or I wouldn't have seen your posts. It was directed at people looking for a mentor. Sorry if that wasn't clear.
 

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