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NOTABLE! I found the perfect mentor. How should I go about hitting him up?

OP
OP
jfny

jfny

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I've had people make comments I didn't agree with or didn't like. I get *extra* polite in those circumstances. "Thanks for taking the time to reply. I didn't think of it that way. That's helpful to know. Thanks."
I have said thanks either way after most of the negative posts.
I remember that meeting. I also remember offering you, a person that I had just met for the first time, the highest level position in my company. You did not even have experience in the field. But, there was something about you...
Cool Story. No sarcasm.
Funny thing is, I didn't write either a letter. I also didn't call them a**holes.
Did they decide they were gonna start bashing you for no good reason?
However, if you close your mind, if you put up mental walls and refuse to humble yourself and learn...how will you get anywhere?

I saw red for about half a second. But you know what? He was RIGHT, his way was BETTER, and I LEARNED from him. Now I will take that advice and use it to better care for my customers while protecting my own interests.
A common misconception in this thread is that I haven't been listening to everyone's advice. Nor do I plan on implmenting it.
I'm in no place to say if this thread is worth Gold or not. But anyone willing to wade through some negative posts will find a goldmine of info and advice about mentorship, people skills, and generally how to be a good human. VITAL skills in the business world.
Agreed.
Geez, he's not alluding you want in his eCom class ... he's alluding that your body of posts are being evaluated.

And the 1-percenters here (the folks who are in your mentor-target) are trying to tell you nicely that you are coming across as self-entitled and not willing to listen.
I apologize. It was a misunderstanding.
Definitely a Gold Thread.
Kind of turned into that, huh?
Hey @SteveO , I can honestly say that out of all the members in this forum your posts touch me the most.
Yeah, I noticed SteveO has a little bit of a better vibe to him.
My post was not directed at you. I do not ignore you or I wouldn't have seen your posts. It was directed at people looking for a mentor. Sorry if that wasn't clear.
I apologize. I must of read it wrong. I appreciate your post and the valuable insight you have shared.

OP has probably gotten a few $$$$ worth of free advice from several millionaires and highly successful entrepreneurs on this thread.
He probably won't take it but I think many others will.
That's where you're wrong.
(Example: I'm taking the quote belows advice.)

What's the first thing you should do when you realize you're digging a hole?
Stop digging.
I appreciate all the input. As I've said, I have learned a lot from this thread. But it's kind of "overstayed its welcome" and I'm ready to just kill it already. Therefore, this thread will not be receiving any further comments from me.
 

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Jon L

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I read through this entire thread and realized that I have the opposite problem. There's a client of mine that is one of those mentor's mentors. He wants to take me to lunch, and I'm a bit freaked out by the idea. So...how did I get myself into this 'predicament?'

1) He found me from a google ad I placed a while back. I did a $750 project for him. I did it well, and supported him with a variety of small things
2) I met him for breakfast one time and sold him on a $5000 project, and have continued to support him on various small computer issues since then.
3) During the process, we talked about a variety of things
4) I have a project that needs an investor and asked him if he knew anyone. He's interested.

There's more to it, but I don't want to write it out on a public forum. But, the essentials of everyone's feedback in this thread are there:
1) We had a reason to come together - I provided value to him.
2) We've maintained a friendly working relationship over the several years that I've known him.
3) I've not asked many questions or for much advice. I've kept my focus on providing him value. I've gleaned a few key nuggets from him over the course of time.
4) The one time I asked for something, it was for something I knew he'd be interested in.
 

Jleg

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Brilliant thread, I wish I could have read it 18 months ago.


When I was 16, around 3 weeks after I left my final year of high school, a man who was 28 at the time drove past me in a brand new Ferrari California. I know of him as he’s a distant friend of my older brother, I had no idea of is financial situation, or what he did, only that my older brother knew him. I honestly couldn't believe it at the time, where I grew up, a Ferrari wasn’t exactly a car you saw every day.


I was taking my Daily 45-minute walk to meet a girl I was seeing at the time and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. So, I messaged my brother. He told me he owned a “online business” of some sort selling Smart Phone and Tablet accessories.


So, I set out to learn about online business and went down the wrong path. By the wrong path I don’t mean wrong product, I mean I listened to the wrong people and adopted the wrong mindset. I adopted a mindset of just solely focusing on “Trending” products, hot products etc. I remember I was obsessed with Tai Lopez. Solving problems and making a product better never even crossed my mind.


I got speaking to my brother after around 3 months of spending every waking moment reading the wrong advice and asked if he could message him for me and see if he could “mentor” me. He messaged him, and my brother said I was ok to add him on Facebook and chat to him.


My initial message was Cringe-worthy.


ME ME ME, “hot” products, should I do fba, what do you think of getting false reviews to rank products etc. I was looking for a shortcut.


In all fairness, he was very patient with me, he didn’t have to be, he could have just told me where to go, and looking back, I wouldn’t blame him if he did.


The point is, I was looking for a “mentor”, and I didn’t even know what I wanted to be mentored about! I didn’t realise at the time, felt like the right thing to do.


Now imagine if I had actually started a business before I messaged him, shown him I was actually serious, and was seeking genuine advice in a certain topic or area. I think it would have gone A LOT better and would have been more beneficial.


Not all negative though, I learnt that First impressions are very important, much like some of the main posters on the forum have said, you are always being judged by the way you post and how your personality comes across on here. This also applies to your life in general. Who would a successful guy want to mentor, the kid whose main focus is himself, money and asking for “shortcuts”, or the kid is willing to get his hands dirty and find things out for himself.


9/10 you probably don’t even need a mentor, let this forum be your mentor, usually everyone helps each other out on here, not matter what your rep bank says. There are gold mines of information available on this forum, all you have to do is put it to action and you will see changes. Posters on here have actually given you proven businesses to start to help get to ball rolling, all you have to do is act on it.


I can honestly say I would be totally lost without this forum and count my lucky stars I found it. This isn’t just a forum about business, it’s also full of just general life advice which have helped me mature massively and learn what to priorities over the last 12 months. Not “sacrifice”, but prioritise. Seems to be a misconception. I thought not going on nights out was a sacrifice, it isn’t, it’s just prioritizing the right thing.
 

Snoophek

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The amount of knowledge on this forum is just ridiculous. Each of the gold or notable threads could be a topic of a book by itself. I came here expecting a gold nugget... I got an eighteen wheeler full of diamonds instead. Thank you all for that!

As for my five cents: one of the first things martial arts teaches you is humility. You may think you're the shit, but a punch to the face does not lie. On the Internet you can discard the advice of others, but blind trust in your ways can result only in a bloody nose on the ring.

You will progress painfully slow if you won't listen to what your sparring partners are saying. They're not always right, of course, but you should at least consider their advice and try to calibrate. Or not. Then prepare to be punched in the face a lot.

As I said, you do not have to always agree with others, but...

'It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.' - Aristotle
 

Arun Siva

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I think the way you contact him isn't nearly as important as what your message will be.


I think that's a problem. Your chances of success will be 100x higher if you could offer him something specific of value.
Finding something that would be of real value to him should be your priority and not what's the best way to make first contact.

Also I wouldn't tell him, that I want him to be my mentor right from the beginning. You also wouldn't ask a girl to marry you before the first date would you?

Good luck!
this is GOLDen.

Also take HIM or HER out to lunch or coffee. always pick up the tab. always respect their time whether it be 10minutes or an hour. They are in a position of which you wish to become.
 

SteveO

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this is GOLDen.

Also take HIM or HER out to lunch or coffee. always pick up the tab. always respect their time whether it be 10minutes or an hour. They are in a position of which you wish to become.
For some reason I have never liked the lunch of coffee thing. It is much more comfortable to have lunch with my friends or in my own environment. I usually like to meet at the office or at a particular project.
 

Arun Siva

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For some reason I have never liked the lunch of coffee thing. It is much more comfortable to have lunch with my friends or in my own environment. I usually like to meet at the office or at a particular project.
Oh ok good to know. I know maybe starting out it showed the (usually older/elder person) some initiation from us "youngsters" haha but I guess when one progresses onwards and establishes himself then @SteveO 's advice is invaluable.
 

SteveO

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Also take HIM or HER out to lunch or coffee. always pick up the tab. always respect their time whether it be 10minutes or an hour. They are in a position of which you wish to become.
This reminded me of a particular incident just a couple of years ago. I had a friend, Bill, that owns a number of commercial projects. He was telling me that one of our softball buddies, John, had thousands of acres of land in the Phoenix area. So, I invited them both to lunch at a steakhouse and let John know that I was interested in advice in regards to land purchases. He filled both of our ears with tons of information that included diagrams, numbers, legal advice and so on. Mostly on how and where to buy and subdivide for profits.

About an hour into the meeting, Bill asked a specific question about his commercial properties. John responded "Steve invited me here and this is his nickel. If you want specific advice you can invite me to lunch again".

I kept a straight face but was busting up inside. :)
 

SteveO

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Oh ok good to know. I know maybe starting out it showed the (usually older/elder person) some initiation from us "youngsters" haha but I guess when one progresses onwards and establishes himself then @SteveO 's advice is invaluable.
Right. I am not suggesting that you should not offer lunch or coffee. Just saying that each person is different. But, if someone wants to know about apartments, I would rather meet them at an apartment project than lunch.
 

Arun Siva

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Right. I am not suggesting that you should not offer lunch or coffee. Just saying that each person is different. But, if someone wants to know about apartments, I would rather meet them at an apartment project than lunch.
well put @SteveO
 

Dan1el

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Wow, this thread created a massive mindset shift for me, it gave me so much more value than any "perfect" mentor ever could.
Let me quote MJ "Stop pushing and start pulling for success" aka go out there and take action, give value, create great businesses and the mentor, the investor etc will come to YOU.
 

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458

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Broooo you should s his d.....
 
OP
OP
jfny

jfny

Oh it's coming. Just wait.
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This thread will not be receiving any further comments from me.
I lied.


It's only a 1:42 long and it backs most of my reasoning in this thread.
 
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jpanarra

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I lied.



It's only a 1:42 long and it backs most of my reasoning in this thread.

Ok, You got the first part right. You gotta ask people and reach out for help, but you need to have a structured question that can point you in a direction.

What it seems like you put on here is much more open-ended. When I remember I was in grade school, I loved the multiple choice or fill in the blanks as opposed to an open-ended question. That's because I have to put more time into the open ended question. Most of the people in this forum have limited time and would rather invest it elsewhere than trying to write an answer to an open-ended question for someone that they don't know or haven't presented a trail of effort where they can see their time will actually be worthwhile. I know you say that you're working and I'm sure you're telling the truth, but we don't see a project or a timeline of your development here on the forum, so how do we actually know you have a functional project.
 

ZF Lee

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Don't stick to one mentor. Go with several, each specialising in the areas you think should be relevant to your fastlane.
Believe me, I tried to stick with a mentor and MENTORS DO MAKE MISTAKES...
I crashed.
Since then I take everything with a pinch of salt. And I find myself being more original. we tend to copy our mentor, even his area of specialty.
 

MJ DeMarco

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This story reminds me years ago when I started with NOTHING.

Had I approached a VC or an investor for some cash, I wouldn't be given the time of day. Nope, I'd be put on IGNORE and for good reason.

After I built something that provided value and had potential, the VCs / investors started calling me.
 

ZF Lee

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This story reminds me years ago when I started with NOTHING.

Had I approached a VC or an investor for some cash, I wouldn't be given the time of day. Nope, I'd be put on IGNORE and for good reason.

After I built something that provided value and had potential, the VCs / investors started calling me.
Maybe that's why normal boring school education even in college failed in the first place.
In the system, all the knowledge comes rushing at you although you might not even need it in the first place, let alone use the advice in the first place.

I suppose that business advice should be treated as tangible assets like other entities are like real estate or royalties.
 

smarty

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Also I wouldn't tell him, that I want him to be my mentor right from the beginning. You also wouldn't ask a girl to marry you before the first date would you?
I've found that we can apply the girl/date analogy in most situations in business and it will be quite accurate.
No wonder why most men who are successful with women end up becoming businessmen or businessmen that have lots of women :)
 

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PinPointing

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I'm a little hesitant to post on this thread because I have a similar question to the one that started it. I currently have business and I'm looking to find a mentor with a business like mine, but 3-4x larger. The problem is that my business is b2b with clients in my region and anyone I'd consider a mentor would also be my competitor.

The Mentor/Mentee relationship seems to be like a father and son and that you'd need to meet up with them and do things you have in common in person like smoke cigars or some shit. Do people ever get Mentors that are in another region? It seems unlikely. I was thinking a better option might be to try starting a mastermind with CEO's/presidents that live in different regions.
 

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