How I Battle Entrepreneurial Overwhelm

[BizyDad]

We've been there.

When things are going well, everything is roses. Our mood is so so smooth. Happy to be alive.

But we all also have gotten to that feeling that our task list is just way too long. And that leads to overwhelm. And other negative emotions.

Years ago, this was such a debilitating thing for me. I was a perfectionist.

"Time to go home? But I still have unread emails!"

"How are you Bizydad?" "Oh, you know, bizy bizy (exhaustion apparent in my voice)"

How many times did I say, "I just need to finish this one thing…"?

The struggle was real. It didn't matter if I cleared out the inbox. There was still all those other things on the task list staring me in the face.

3 am work sessions didn't cure it. Working 73 days straight didn't cure it.

I was often miserable to be around.

When my kids were born, some of this changed. Suddenly I had something, someone in my life that made it important to "just go home".

And that's my first tip. Reframe your expectations of yourself. No one is perfect. It took the birth of my son to begin to give myself some grace. Just a little.

I explored different paths to productivity.

What ultimately worked for me was a top 3 or a top 1 list. Often the night before, but usually the morning of, I would decide on my three most important things that I wanted to accomplish that day.

Days I got two out of three done were the good days.

That helped.

But my one big goal often takes several days.

And I still often felt stressed that I was "ignoring" things.

I started hiring. That also helped. I talk in my leadership post about the struggles I had with leadership. I'll encourage any of you reading this, if you haven't started hiring a team, do what you need to do to get there.

• Raise prices.
• Sell more stuff.
• Take a pay cut if you have to, but only if you have to.

Hire em, train em, and get them to hire and train the next. It's taken me years, but I'm finally getting there.

Still the overwhelm would show up.

And it's not all in my head. I'm not married anymore, but in my dating life I am often labelled as unavailable. Maybe I am. I really am a Bizy Dad. But that'll change.

Still, the last 4 years have without a doubt been the busiest 4 years of my life. And I slowly but surely have managed to handle the overwhelm. I honestly never imagined I would or even could get to the point of feeling almost effortless amongst the chaos. It was always a dream, never a true goal... Until relatively recently.

If you're in this state long enough, you just start developing thick skin.

And that helped.

Still the overwhelm would show up. Less. Much less.

But it still showed up.

So here's the thing that has changed my mindset most recently. I've been doing this for maybe the past 9 months or so.

First is awareness. You see by now, I've gotten so used to feeling the overwhelmed that it feels normal and I don't actually admit to myself that I am stressed. So I'm becoming more aware of the feeling.

And once I'm aware of the overwhelm, I completely change how I prioritize my task list.

Instead of tackling my one big hairy audacious goal for the day, I prioritize my task list in terms of speed.

What is the absolute quickest thing I can get done right now?

2 seconds later I get it done.

I ask myself again what is the absolute quickest thing I can get done right now?

2 minutes later I get it done.

By the time I've banged out 5 or 10 items, I look at a clock and I'm only 2 hours into my day and feeling like I could conquer anything.

And then I get after my big hairy audacious goal for the day.

After a day or two or three of that, I go back to my normal top one or top three list for the day.

Now I am not telling you that I am more productive today than I was 2 years ago. That's actually a difficult thing for me to judge.

But what I am telling you is that I feel happier. I feel less stressed. I feel more capable.

At the moment I have 250 unread emails. Most of them have some level of importance…some level of "I'll get to that". (Or else they would have been deleted by now)

But it's not the end of the world. I'm no longer overwhelmed by it. I'm not even "whelmed" by it. Lol.

I have my priorities straight. I know the most important emails got handled. I know several fast responses got done.

I know my clients are growing. I know my second business is growing too. I know my employees in both businesses are happy. I know my partners are being well compensated. I'm making time for friendships and even a little dating. Most importantly, I know my kids are getting more quality Daddy time than ever.

It's been a gradual process to create the kind of life I want to live. And I'm still working on it.

To recap, you can battle entrepreneurial overwhelm by:

1. Stop being a perfectionist/Reframe expectations
2. Focus on your top priorities. Allegedly 80% of results come from 20% of activities.
3. Hire some help already (I did, again, and those 250 emails are getting attacked this week)
4. Develop a thicker skin
5. When all else is failing, work on speed, not importance

I'll keep sharing with you guys what I learn along the way, and I hope these tips helps somebody today.

 

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[Aidan04]

Thank you for this. It's nice to know I'm not alone in the dark.

 

[amp0193]

When all else is failing, work on speed, not importance

Gonna try this out.

Sometimes overwhelm can become debilitating to where nothing is getting done.

I definitely can relate to the feeling of banging stuff out though getting you in the mood to crush it.

 

[NathanN]

Focus on your top priorities. Allegedly 80% of results come from 20% of activities

I sometimes forget about how important the 80/20 rule really is. I sometimes just need to re-evaluate what I'm doing and ask if its part of the 20% of work thats moving the needle

 

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[JUAREZ]

We've been there.

When things are going well, everything is roses. Our mood is so so smooth. Happy to be alive.

But we all also have gotten to that feeling that our task list is just way too long. And that leads to overwhelm. And other negative emotions.

Years ago, this was such a debilitating thing for me. I was a perfectionist.

"Time to go home? But I still have unread emails!"

"How are you Bizydad?" "Oh, you know, bizy bizy (exhaustion apparent in my voice)"

How many times did I say, "I just need to finish this one thing…"?

The struggle was real. It didn't matter if I cleared out the inbox. There was still all those other things on the task list staring me in the face.

3 am work sessions didn't cure it. Working 73 days straight didn't cure it.

I was often miserable to be around.

When my kids were born, some of this changed. Suddenly I had something, someone in my life that made it important to "just go home".

And that's my first tip. Reframe your expectations of yourself. No one is perfect. It took the birth of my son to begin to give myself some grace. Just a little.

I explored different paths to productivity.

What ultimately worked for me was a top 3 or a top 1 list. Often the night before, but usually the morning of, I would decide on my three most important things that I wanted to accomplish that day.

Days I got two out of three done were the good days.

That helped.

But my one big goal often takes several days.

And I still often felt stressed that I was "ignoring" things.

I started hiring. That also helped. I talk in my leadership post about the struggles I had with leadership. I'll encourage any of you reading this, if you haven't started hiring a team, do what you need to do to get there.

• Raise prices.
• Sell more stuff.
• Take a pay cut if you have to, but only if you have to.

Hire em, train em, and get them to hire and train the next. It's taken me years, but I'm finally getting there.

Still the overwhelm would show up.

And it's not all in my head. I'm not married anymore, but in my dating life I am often labelled as unavailable. Maybe I am. I really am a Bizy Dad. But that'll change.

Still, the last 4 years have without a doubt been the busiest 4 years of my life. And I slowly but surely have managed to handle the overwhelm. I honestly never imagined I would or even could get to the point of feeling almost effortless amongst the chaos. It was always a dream, never a true goal... Until relatively recently.

If you're in this state long enough, you just start developing thick skin.

And that helped.

Still the overwhelm would show up. Less. Much less.

But it still showed up.

So here's the thing that has changed my mindset most recently. I've been doing this for maybe the past 9 months or so.

First is awareness. You see by now, I've gotten so used to feeling the overwhelmed that it feels normal and I don't actually admit to myself that I am stressed. So I'm becoming more aware of the feeling.

And once I'm aware of the overwhelm, I completely change how I prioritize my task list.

Instead of tackling my one big hairy audacious goal for the day, I prioritize my task list in terms of speed.

What is the absolute quickest thing I can get done right now?

2 seconds later I get it done.

I ask myself again what is the absolute quickest thing I can get done right now?

2 minutes later I get it done.

By the time I've banged out 5 or 10 items, I look at a clock and I'm only 2 hours into my day and feeling like I could conquer anything.

And then I get after my big hairy audacious goal for the day.

After a day or two or three of that, I go back to my normal top one or top three list for the day.

Now I am not telling you that I am more productive today than I was 2 years ago. That's actually a difficult thing for me to judge.

But what I am telling you is that I feel happier. I feel less stressed. I feel more capable.

At the moment I have 250 unread emails. Most of them have some level of importance…some level of "I'll get to that". (Or else they would have been deleted by now)

But it's not the end of the world. I'm no longer overwhelmed by it. I'm not even "whelmed" by it. Lol.

I have my priorities straight. I know the most important emails got handled. I know several fast responses got done.

I know my clients are growing. I know my second business is growing too. I know my employees in both businesses are happy. I know my partners are being well compensated. I'm making time for friendships and even a little dating. Most importantly, I know my kids are getting more quality Daddy time than ever.

It's been a gradual process to create the kind of life I want to live. And I'm still working on it.

To recap, you can battle entrepreneurial overwhelm by:

1. Stop being a perfectionist/Reframe expectations
2. Focus on your top priorities. Allegedly 80% of results come from 20% of activities.
3. Hire some help already (I did, again, and those 250 emails are getting attacked this week)
4. Develop a thicker skin
5. When all else is failing, work on speed, not importance

I'll keep sharing with you guys what I learn along the way, and I hope these tips helps somebody today.

Point 5 - will test. I feel overwhelmed almost every day. This feeling actually stops me to do anything and after that I feel like shit that the day passed and I did not moved forward. And the thing is, I have observed that a lot of actions that I have on the list take me very little time in reality, while in my head takes me a lot of time. I have delayed actions because I thought that they will take ablot of time and after I did it I thought "Man, I felt so stressed for a 5 min action".

Another problem I have is that I can't focus on present moment. I am constantly thinking about what I should do next and after and after. My mind is gone in the future and I have a lot of problems dealing with this.

I want to be able to play with the kids when I say I will play with them. But I am having a battle with all these thoughts about the future and what should I do. And I loose that time with them and start again to feel like crap. - any tool for this?

Thank you a lot. It means a lot to me what you wrote.

 

[BizyDad]

This feeling actually stops me to do anything and after that I feel like shit that the day passed and I did not moved forward

Yup, that's why I started experimenting. This used to happen to me just staring at my to do list.

Another problem I have is that I can't focus on present moment. I am constantly thinking about what I should do next and after and after. My mind is gone in the future and I have a lot of problems dealing with this.

I want to be able to play with the kids when I say I will play with them. But I am having a battle with all these thoughts about the future and what should I do. And I loose that time with them and start again to feel like crap. - any tool for this?

Yes. It can be hard for a future thinker to live in the moment.

Imagine your little girl saying "I wish I had more Daddy time".

It happened to me once and it killed me.

Now any time I feel my ability to stay present with them start to slip away, all I have to do is here that little voice in my head and my instant response is "Never again". At the end of the day, they are my top priority and I never regret the time we spent.

Other things can wait.

Gonna try this out.

Sometimes overwhelm can become debilitating to where nothing is getting done.

I definitely can relate to the feeling of banging stuff out though getting you in the mood to crush it.

So I played around with it a bit. There have been times where I went an entire day just checking off the quick stuff. But those days didn't quite feel as fulfilling. And the next day I didn't feel as refreshed.

For me the key seems to be banging out tasks for 2-3 hours, and then tackling "the big stuff". I do this for 2-3 days and my brain and self talk seems to go back to normal.

 

[Antifragile]

AF take on how to reduce stress ... Battle Entrepreneurial Overwhelm​

​

The problem:​

The nature of our work has changed but we haven't been trained to deal with it. As soon as we moved into "knowledge work", the separation between work and home disappeared. As entrepreneurs, aspiring or otherwise, it's doubly so. Is it any wonder that even Bizy gets so busy he has 250 unopened emails?

There is also the mind double pull: Big Picture work vs Nitty-Gritty.

What should I do and when? Agrrr...

Even worse: too much distractions every day, every minute to truly focus. We lack personal systems to work effectively, which stresses us even more! And that "Big-Picture" may lack clarity too... so am I moving even in the right direction or totally wasting time? More stress...

Now imagine a different picture. Imagine you could die 100% present with your attention to a given task. What if you were in a state of FLOW. It's when you don't even feel like time is passing. Once you are done with the task, you look at the clock and go "oh wow, it's already 11am?".

​

The solution:​

Here is the thing! You can do it. You need a clear mind to be able to destress. Mind like water.

It doesn't matter if we are talking about business or personal! The solution is the same: manage your commitments.

1. First of all, if it is on your mind, your mind isn't clear. This means you must have a way to collect anything unfinished into your system.
2. You must clarify exactly what your commitment is and what you must do. Define your actions.
3. Keep reminders of commitments in a system that you review regularly.

"Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought." Henry Bergson

If something is on your mind, it stresses you out. If you already downloaded it out of your mind into your system... and you are still stressed, it's likely because it is still on your mind.

​

The difference between Big-Picture & Nitty-Gritty:​

Big Picture:
If your business is stalled, and you don't know why? Maybe it's something "obvious"

EXECUTION - SUCCESS! - So you want to build an empire? Crack that growth code ✔. Let’s get into the vault!

The problem with most businesses is that leaders think that success is like a secret code. If you keep trying different combinations you’ll finally crack it and open the safe and get all that valuable content from it. While partly true, it is generally false. Yes, there is some experimentation...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

For example, @BizyDad - do you have an EA? Is it time for one? Can you free up your time by hiring people and implementing systems where all your employees are pulling in the same direction?

Nitty-Gritty:
If your own productivity system sucks, can you tap into MJ's GOALS app?

Or use Tiago Forte's the C.O.D.E. method for building a Second Brain. The C.O.D.E. method is the four steps to remembering what matters most, and making it searchable and useful in the future. C.O.D.E. is really just the creative process which has stood the test of time, updated for the digital era. The steps are:



Or "Getting Things Done" book by David Allen - a classic!

Personal Example:​

For year's I was using the same system of "Getting Things Done" by David Allen successfully.

I would carry my Moleskine notepad everywhere with me. Every day I'd start by quickly reviewing the "dump" file, migrating items into action and getting going. Like @BizyDad anything that only takes less than a minute, gets done immediately - I don't want to waste my time thinking about it ever again. If any new tasks pop in, it goes into my notebook! No exceptions, this way I never have to think "did I forget something"?

Recently I've migrated to Tiago Forte's CODE and love it. Because I've been doing it for a while, I feel the value of the methods in my bones. And having it now digitally, across all my devices makes even more sense. I use software like: DraftsApp, Notion, ToDoist and my reMarkable. And it works.

I can confidently tell you that while I have many very hard days, I am rarely overwhelmed. And when it happens, I know what it means. It means I am no longer using my own system.

Hope this helps

 

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[Black_Dragon43]

AF take on how to reduce stress ... Battle Entrepreneurial Overwhelm​

​

The problem:​

The nature of our work has changed but we haven't been trained to deal with it. As soon as we moved into "knowledge work", the separation between work and home disappeared. As entrepreneurs, aspiring or otherwise, it's doubly so. Is it any wonder that even Bizy gets so busy he has 250 unopened emails?

There is also the mind double pull: Big Picture work vs Nitty-Gritty.

What should I do and when? Agrrr...

Even worse: too much distractions every day, every minute to truly focus. We lack personal systems to work effectively, which stresses us even more! And that "Big-Picture" may lack clarity too... so am I moving even in the right direction or totally wasting time? More stress...

Now imagine a different picture. Imagine you could die 100% present with your attention to a given task. What if you were in a state of FLOW. It's when you don't even feel like time is passing. Once you are done with the task, you look at the clock and go "oh wow, it's already 11am?".

​

The solution:​

Here is the thing! You can do it. You need a clear mind to be able to destress. Mind like water.

It doesn't matter if we are talking about business or personal! The solution is the same: manage your commitments.

1. First of all, if it is on your mind, your mind isn't clear. This means you must have a way to collect anything unfinished into your system.
2. You must clarify exactly what your commitment is and what you must do. Define your actions.
3. Keep reminders of commitments in a system that you review regularly.

"Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought." Henry Bergson

If something is on your mind, it stresses you out. If you already downloaded it out of your mind into your system... and you are still stressed, it's likely because it is still on your mind.

​

The difference between Big-Picture & Nitty-Gritty:​

Big Picture:
If your business is stalled, and you don't know why? Maybe it's something "obvious"

EXECUTION - SUCCESS! - So you want to build an empire? Crack that growth code ✔. Let’s get into the vault!

The problem with most businesses is that leaders think that success is like a secret code. If you keep trying different combinations you’ll finally crack it and open the safe and get all that valuable content from it. While partly true, it is generally false. Yes, there is some experimentation...

www.thefastlaneforum.com

For example, @BizyDad - do you have an EA? Is it time for one? Can you free up your time by hiring people and implementing systems where all your employees are pulling in the same direction?

Nitty-Gritty:
If your own productivity system sucks, can you tap into MJ's GOALS app?

Or use Tiago Forte's the C.O.D.E. method for building a Second Brain. The C.O.D.E. method is the four steps to remembering what matters most, and making it searchable and useful in the future. C.O.D.E. is really just the creative process which has stood the test of time, updated for the digital era. The steps are:

View attachment 50360

Or "Getting Things Done" book by David Allen - a classic!

Personal Example:​

For year's I was using the same system of "Getting Things Done" by David Allen successfully.

I would carry my Moleskine notepad everywhere with me. Every day I'd start by quickly reviewing the "dump" file, migrating items into action and getting going. Like @BizyDad anything that only takes less than a minute, gets done immediately - I don't want to waste my time thinking about it ever again. If any new tasks pop in, it goes into my notebook! No exceptions, this way I never have to think "did I forget something"?

Recently I've migrated to Tiago Forte's CODE and love it. Because I've been doing it for a while, I feel the value of the methods in my bones. And having it now digitally, across all my devices makes even more sense. I use software like: DraftsApp, Notion, ToDoist and my reMarkable. And it works.

I can confidently tell you that while I have many very hard days, I am rarely overwhelmed. And when it happens, I know what it means. It means I am no longer using my own system.

Hope this helps

I think the biggest problem with overwhelm is that it can have multiple causes. It’s not just the amount of work that can make you feel overwhelmed.

For example, I use a system that’s similar to GTD to manage my day to day stuff. It keeps me organized, and keeps me moving ahead.

But which is the important work, and which is the non-important work? That’s much harder to figure out, because I simply don’t know for sure.

For example: is it worth my time trying to get an ads-based sales funnel for my business, or am I better off focusing on building my personal brand?

That’s not an easy question to answer. In fact, I’d go as far as saying that it has NO ANSWER that can be figured out without actually walking each of the two paths.

The same for someone that’s a newbie. Is it worth his time cold calling, or should he be focusing 100% on that one client that he has, aiming to get a referral? Or perhaps he should be hiring a lead gen provider like myself to show him how to get more clients?

What’s the right answer?! That’s not at all clear.

So this is one cause of overwhelm, at least for me.

The other is that I’m as impatient as they get. So even if I were to complete all my tasks, I’d feel restless because I haven’t hit bigger financial numbers yet. That’s another source of overwhelm, and sometimes you just have to wait for things.

So I think knowing how to translate projects into manageable tasks via a method like GTD, and then execute on them in a timely manner is only half the story. The other half, I’m not so sure it can be fixed.

I mean, if I knew exactly what I had to do, I’d be a billionaire in a few years. What stops me is precisely that I don’t have the answers and it’s extremely hard to determine answers between competing alternatives. That’s why it takes time. If I could just figure it out without testing, boom boom boom, billionaire!

 

[amp0193]

So I played around with it a bit. There have been times where I went an entire day just checking off the quick stuff. But those days didn't quite feel as fulfilling. And the next day I didn't feel as refreshed.

I go through cycles.

I'll spend 2-4 days doing big important stuff.

But the little stuff is slowly piling up... can't be ignored forever.

Comes to a head, and I can't focus on the big stuff anymore because the little stuff is too distracting. So I'll spend a day doing nothing but the little stuff to clear it all out. Not satisfying at all. Feels like a waste of time. But the next time, I'm cleared out and can focus and then the cycle starts over again.


But, I've also tried routinely keeping on top of the little stuff in small chunks daily, and when I do this, it seems that I don't get enough uninterrupted focus time on the big stuff, and the big stuff just never gets done. When I do big stuff, I can disappear for 6-8 hours and be totally in the zone.

Both ways are kind of dysfunctional, and it may just be a challenge of the stage we're at, where people need to be hired to take small stuff off my plate (but can't quite afford to hire them... or if I can, just taking the time to do so, and documenting what needs to be done in that role... have been trying out VAs recently as a first step, just haven't found one that's worked out yet.)

 

[Antifragile]

I think the biggest problem with overwhelm is that it can have multiple causes. It’s not just the amount of work that can make you feel overwhelmed.

For example, I use a system that’s similar to GTD to manage my day to day stuff. It keeps me organized, and keeps me moving ahead.

But which is the important work, and which is the non-important work? That’s much harder to figure out, because I simply don’t know for sure.

For example: is it worth my time trying to get an ads-based sales funnel for my business, or am I better off focusing on building my personal brand?

That’s not an easy question to answer. In fact, I’d go as far as saying that it has NO ANSWER that can be figured out without actually walking each of the two paths.

The same for someone that’s a newbie. Is it worth his time cold calling, or should he be focusing 100% on that one client that he has, aiming to get a referral? Or perhaps he should be hiring a lead gen provider like myself to show him how to get more clients?

What’s the right answer?! That’s not at all clear.

You bring up excellent points.
That's a huge part of why I wrote the thread I quoted above. Mostly because I felt that @amp0193 already showed (on the INSIDERS thread) how real the struggle can get. And I've been there, more than once. These decisions you are mentioning indeed are next to impossible to know with 100% certainty.

But... and it a biggie - you can pick one direction and commit to it. What do I mean? Find a method for making good decisions. I use the following (from Chip & Dan Heath):

On Decision Making:​

1. The four villains of decision making are (1) narrow framing, think either/or decisions, (2) confirmation bias, (3) short-term emotion, and (4) over-confidence.
2. Avoid “whether or not” decisions. Instead, consider several options simultaneously.
3. Ask yourself, “Who else is struggling with a similar problem, and what can I learn from them?”
4. When gathering good information and reality-testing your ideas, go talk to an expert.
5. Rather than choose “all” or “nothing,” chose “a little something.”

BTW, the actions needed to protect you from the above 4 biases are:

• Widen your options.
• Reality-test your assumptions.
• Attain distance before deciding.
• Prepare to be wrong.

Once you've used your trusted method for making decisions and made that decision, that's it - throw away the "what if" of the other option. Commit to it and trust the process.

Sure, it doesn't guarantee you being right, but it moves the odds of being more likely to be right.

So this is one cause of overwhelm, at least for me.

The other is that I’m as impatient as they get. So even if I were to complete all my tasks, I’d feel restless because I haven’t hit bigger financial numbers yet. That’s another source of overwhelm, and sometimes you just have to wait for things.

Ironically, you and I are similar with this. I am not a patient person and it irritates me to no end when something takes longer "just because". My ambitions are massive and I am not apologetic about it. So I get frustrated when I don't hit my goals in the time I want or at all. But it doesn't overwhelm me, it just frustrates me. Now we are playing semantics. For me, overwhelmed means I stop doing (like trying to drive through mud, things are harder or totally stuck).

So I think knowing how to translate projects into manageable tasks via a method like GTD, and then execute on them in a timely manner is only half the story. The other half, I’m not so sure it can be fixed.

For whatever my opinion is worth, I think 80% can be fixed. It's the BIG PICTURE thinking, knowing where you are in your own business cycle (like my thread quoted above on Predictable Success) etc.

Sum it up in one sentence: if you push on that gas pedal, your business car better move!

I mean, if I knew exactly what I had to do, I’d be a billionaire in a few years. What stops me is precisely that I don’t have the answers and it’s extremely hard to determine answers between competing alternatives. That’s why it takes time. If I could just figure it out without testing, boom boom boom, billionaire!

100%. We all with this. Who wouldn't want to know a step-by-step way to becoming a billionaire? That's unrealistic thinking. But we can do better in:

1. Making better decisions
2. Increasing the odds of success for our businesses

It's like fitness, to win the Olympics you'll have to do almost everything right, including being born with the predisposition to your sport. But doing everything right, doesn't guarantee you a gold medal. If that overwhelms you to the extent you stop doing the right things, the fix is actually quite obvious.

 

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[BizyDad]

It is so interesting to start a thread on overwhelm and having all the fellow forum over thinkers weighing in.

But it doesn't overwhelm me, it just frustrates me.

Develop a thicker skin

Thank you for so clearly and subtly demonstrating what I meant by developing a thicker skin.

AF, I don't think you realize how much brain capacity you have for uncertainty and managerial thinking that others simply lack or have yet to develop. Things that are nothing but mere frustration to you now would crush others and maybe even your younger self.

But because you have this higher vantage point, some of your lessons may be falling flat.

Speaking as someone who only recently even realized I could handle as much mentally as I am without bending to the chaos, I want to suggest another thought here.

First off, this mental capacity I'm talking about is not "smarts". I suppose it is the elusive "grit" we often talk about but I've always felt I was gritty. Maybe I'm just grittier now.

But one sure fire way to control overwhelm - that I did not mention - is to say "No" more often.

I did not include this on my list on purpose.

I used to say No A LOT. I knew my limits. I did not want to exceed them. I didn't want to overcommit myself ever.

But something has been changing in me. I can tell you when it started. It started listening to @Kak speak at the summit.

My mind shifted that day.

Then COVID hit, and I quarantined hardcore. Coming out of quarantine I was so excited to be out and about again I did a very silly thing.

I COMMITTED TO EVERYTHING.

I stepped up at church. I bought another business. I started a mastermind group and another one and a game club and a book club. I started doing a little pro bono work again. I am helping handle two friend's estate.

I used to think I was busy. Now I really am BIZY.

And now I realize what I missed all these years.

I missed the opportunity to test my limits. To stretch myself.

I don't recognize myself, and yet I am still very much the same guy.

And I would have never gotten here by saying No.

It's like I've been mentally pumping bigger iron. I'm flexing my bigger mental muscles.

So when I see uncertainty in my future, I might not know how to handle it, but I know one thing for sure...

My team and I will handle it.

My divorce didn't break me.
People quitting didn't break me.
Finding an employee dead didn't break me.
My health issues didn't break me.
The world economic shutdown didn't break me.
Losing my two best friends on earth didn't break me.

I feel more prepared than ever before to handle the challenges that my choices in life have me facing.

For example, @BizyDad - do you have an EA? Is it time for one? Can you free up your time by hiring people and implementing systems where all your employees are pulling in the same direction?

It is too early for a VA, but I am hiring a bigger team. I have the next 6 roles mapped out to get where I see us going.

I just hired an Ads person, freeing up 40% of my time. She is two days into the job and she is excellent so far. I might have finally figured out a solid process for hiring.

Salesperson is next.
Then a WP developer/designer.

Then a new company to launch with a salesperson for that.

Then back to my agency for another hire, likely a content writer or Media relations specialist.
Then a coder.
Then an account manager.

And maybe then I'll need the EA. But by then I think I'll have all my agency tasks handled fully, so maybe not...

The next year of my life will be all about systems implementation.

And none of this sounds unlikely or troublesome anymore. Managing this team sounds super easy in fact.

I wouldn't have said that 3 years ago. But I was a different guy back then. I was still trying to protect my time instead of seeing how much I can handle...

Turns out, I never gave myself enough credit.

And neither are you dear reader. You can do more and handle more than you think you can.

 

[Strategery]

But something has been changing in me. I can tell you when it started. It started listening to @Kak speak at the summit.

That speech touched my core. I willfully ignored it for a long time, to my detriment

 

[Jrjohnny]

My mind shifted that day.


Then COVID hit, and I quarantined hardcore. Coming out of quarantine I was so excited to be out and about again I did a very silly thing.

I COMMITTED TO EVERYTHING.

I stepped up at church. I bought another business. I started a mastermind group and another one and a game club and a book club. I started doing a little pro bono work again. I am helping handle two friend's estate.

I used to think I was busy. Now I really am BIZY.

And now I realize what I missed all these years.

I missed the opportunity to test my limits. To stretch myself.

Honestly, this reminds me of when I read the way of the superior man, one chapter is about knowing your “edge”

Knowing your edge is learning your limits, where you push a little over the edge but not too much.

Then there’s another one about sharpening that edge, or testing it.

You must go past your fear, just a little, like an elastic band, stretch it a little bit at a time, let it get used to the tension.

If you go too far, It’ll snap.

Go too little and you don’t reach full capacity.

I don't recognize myself, and yet I am still very much the same guy.

And I would have never gotten here by saying No.

It's like I've been mentally pumping bigger iron. I'm flexing my bigger mental muscles.

So when I see uncertainty in my future, I might not know how to handle it, but I know one thing for sure...

My team and I will handle it.

My divorce didn't break me.
People quitting didn't break me.
Finding an employee dead didn't break me.
My health issues didn't break me.
The world economic shutdown didn't break me.
Losing my two best friends on earth didn't break me.

Good job man. I can’t imagine how hard those things would be for me, looks like I got some work to do!

I used to be scared of the water, screw that I jumped into a lake, ran into oceans etc.

I was scared of losing my friends, I don’t care anymore. I got none of my old friends, did it like pulling off a bandaid, one n done.

I didn’t like criticism or travelling an unpopular path, Im starting a business now, taking as much criticism as possible.

I wanted to go the gym for a while but I always thought “w-w-what if I get injured??”.
Im going to the gym atleast twice a week, aiming for 3.

Im living life like how I would have never imagined 2 years ago, and I feel stronger, like I’m doing something with my life.

Turns out, I never gave myself enough credit.


And neither are you dear reader. You can do more and handle more than you think you can.

I think I’m struggling with this as well. I never give myself enough credit.

Im a perfectionist, I aim for the skies, miss, and it ruins my ego,

but I’m fixing it. Im still aiming high, missing but landing on a cloud, ending up one step closer.

Peoples just need to learn that your “edge” is set by your mind, there is no end, it’s a hallucination.

Its really a infinite track, everytime you lap, the distance still adds up.

Some start ahead of others, some are faster, some need to go into pit stop. But they always move, moving closer to their goals.

 

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[BizyDad]

Honestly, this reminds me of when I read the way of the superior man, one chapter is about knowing your “edge”

Knowing your edge is learning your limits, where you push a little over the edge but not too much.

Then there’s another one about sharpening that edge, or testing it.

You must go past your fear, just a little, like an elastic band, stretch it a little bit at a time, let it get used to the tension.

If you go too far, It’ll snap.

Go too little and you don’t reach full capacity.

Good job man. I can’t imagine how hard those things would be for me, looks like I got some work to do!

I used to be scared of the water, screw that I jumped into a lake, ran into oceans etc.

I was scared of losing my friends, I don’t care anymore. I got none of my old friends, did it like pulling off a bandaid, one n done.

I didn’t like criticism or travelling an unpopular path, Im starting a business now, taking as much criticism as possible.

I wanted to go the gym for a while but I always thought “w-w-what if I get injured??”.
Im going to the gym atleast twice a week, aiming for 3.

Im living life like how I would have never imagined 2 years ago, and I feel stronger, like I’m doing something with my life.

I think I’m struggling with this as well. I never give myself enough credit.

Im a perfectionist, I aim for the skies, miss, and it ruins my ego,

but I’m fixing it. Im still aiming high, missing but landing on a cloud, ending up one step closer.

Peoples just need to learn that your “edge” is set by your mind, there is no end, it’s a hallucination.

Its really a infinite track, everytime you lap, the distance still adds up.

Some start ahead of others, some are faster, some need to go into pit stop. But they always move, moving closer to their goals.

That last bit was what I was saying over in this rant. Keep that im mind as you get older. You are starting way ahead of others.

This 13 year old is developing more wisdom than most twenty somethings we see fly through these here parts.

 

[Antifragile]

My divorce didn't break me.
People quitting didn't break me.
Finding an employee dead didn't break me.
My health issues didn't break me.
The world economic shutdown didn't break me.
Losing my two best friends on earth didn't break me.

I feel more prepared than ever before to handle the challenges that my choices in life have me facing.

This is a great mindset.

We all have our demons. Some people get overwhelmed, others can’t stay calm and get angry too quickly, yet others get into booze...

I’d be the biggest hypocrite if I said I didn’t have demons too, of course I do! And you nailed it, with age, some of them are just a little more under control. For me it was anger. People describe me as a calm person, it’s hard to rattle me. But inside, there is still a storm. Today my biggest demon is that I get and feel frustrated. You know the kind when you put in a ton of effort, do all the right things but somehow it’s still not working?! To be frank, I am not overwhelmed with it, something deep inside me believes that everything that happens, happens for a reason and a purpose and will serve me. So I don’t stop, I keep pushing and doing things. All the while feeling that frustration. Why is my company not 10x or 100x from what it is today? Didn’t I do so many things right?!! I deserve it, don’t I?

But the truth is, that’s a demon to fight. It’s no different than the anti-work assholes moment. It’s no different than someone claiming they deserve a house because they were born in a country where their parents had a house.

AF, I don't think you realize how much brain capacity you have for uncertainty and managerial thinking that others simply lack or have yet to develop. Things that are nothing but mere frustration to you now would crush others and maybe even your younger self.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes over the past 20 years of managing people. How scary is that number? 20! Yes, it‘s not some natural gift, it’s earned and my younger self was a different me…

But because you have this higher vantage point, some of your lessons may be falling flat.

That’s too bad really. Because I don’t think I needed or would want anyone else to have to learn the long and hard way over dacades. I really wish I knew what I am sharing here today, when I was 20. At a minimum, I think I’d have 10x the fun in business! At best, I’d have 10x the results. So I hope it doesn’t fall flat, I hope people look at a long, long… very long and dry posts as something to take time and digest. Maybe it’ll save you 1,000 hours if you invest 3 of your own, isn’t that worth it?

But I get it too, back when I was 20 I was strong minded and didn’t heed a lot of great advice. Worse yet, as a typical reader here … how are you supposed to know who is full of shit and whose advice is good? Isn’t it the hardest thing about internet?

To fight it, I try to share personal stories too. It’s hard to do with business cycles without divulging too much personal info… so some of the material then becomes dry. Hopefully still helpful.

 

[amp0193]

But I get it too, back when I was 20 I was strong minded and didn’t heed a lot of great advice. Worse yet, as a typical reader here … how are you supposed to know who is full of shit and whose advice is good? Isn’t it the hardest thing about internet?

To fight it, I try to share personal stories too. It’s hard to do with business cycles without divulging too much personal info… so some of the material then becomes dry. Hopefully still helpful.

Signal to noise ratio here has always been a challenge.

Part of why I came back after a couple years hiatus was a desire to give back to those earlier in their journey, as I was one of them here 10 years ago.

Keep up the posts. Some may not yet be ready for your advice yet, but many (including myself) are learning from them.


I love forums, and it's far from perfect, but the "User Power" ratio and various tags and such here do help those sift through the noise on who's worth listening to or not. Way better than anonymous randos on facebook or reddit.

 

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[Black_Dragon43]

I use the following (from Chip & Dan Heath):

That’s a very cool framework. Never came across it before, since the only thing I’ve read by the Heath bros is Made to Stick. I’ve acquired Decisive too now.

I’m with you 100% about the importance of decisions. What tends to screw many of us over isn’t the inability to reason, but the limbic/emotional part of the brain that can lead to suboptimal decisions in high stake situations.

Also, taking decisions in uncertain situations is also it’s own skill.

 

[Mr.Nichan]

At the moment I have 250 unread emails. Most of them have some level of importance…some level of "I'll get to that". (Or else they would have been deleted by now)

Tiago Forte's the C.O.D.E. method for building a Second Brain. The C.O.D.E. method is the four steps to remembering what matters most, and making it searchable and useful in the future. C.O.D.E. is really just the creative process which has stood the test of time, updated for the digital era.

Or "Getting Things Done" book by David Allen - a classic!

I reduced a lot of stress from reading GTD and Tiago Fortes Build Your Second Brain afterwich I started taking notes in a centralized place and implementing the Inbox Zero system I saw someone implemented in G-Mail so I always have split second work on sorting and prioritizing my mail with shortcuts on my phone by swiping either left or right (archive left, tag with follow up or read later right). One of my FTE was caused by none other than yours truly when I got to the point of not taking care of paying bills from anxiety from opening the bills, forgetfulness and pushing things in front of me that needed to be done. This behavior awarded me with a fat blotch in my credit score that still is causing me to not be able to take loans, split payments or even rent an apartment. I'm free from that blotch one year from now.

My divorce didn't break me.
People quitting didn't break me.
Finding an employee dead didn't break me.
My health issues didn't break me.
The world economic shutdown didn't break me.
Losing my two best friends on earth didn't break me.

Sorry to hear about all this, but there is a lot of truth to "What doesn't kill you...". Just don't close yourself off to feeling and processing it all. We never know what blend of the chemical cocktail thats slooshing around in our nugget will set off a chain reaction with end station breakdown. We are not impervious to that part of biology. I lost one of my brothers last year to sudden heart failure and one of my sisters to an OD 6 years ago and I wouldn't even be able to begin saying that it didn't break me. It has definitely changed me and my way of thinking and priorities, and I'm still standing. But broken or not I try to use it as fuel even if I feel it "hurts the engine".

But something has been changing in me. I can tell you when it started. It started listening to @Kak speak at the summit.

Is this available somewhere for watching?

 

[Panos Daras]

I hope these tips helps somebody today.

Mission accomplished! You helped me today. Keep the posts coming.

 

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[jclean]

Not much to add here but this thread is full with golden nuggets !
Everybody here gives a lot off good advice to people who are just starting out.
but its nice to read more advanced stuff once in awhile.

It never ceases to amaze me entrepreneurs go through many of the same problems...

Thanks for all the great insights everyone !

 

[BizyDad]

Sorry to hear about all this, but there is a lot of truth to "What doesn't kill you...". Just don't close yourself off to feeling and processing it all. We never know what blend of the chemical cocktail thats slooshing around in our nugget will set off a chain reaction with end station breakdown. We are not impervious to that part of biology. I lost one of my brothers last year to sudden heart failure and one of my sisters to an OD 6 years ago and I wouldn't even be able to begin saying that it didn't break me. It has definitely changed me and my way of thinking and priorities, and I'm still standing. But broken or not I try to use it as fuel even if I feel it "hurts the engine".

Right.

I'm not saying I didn't get hurt because of all of that stuff. Those were/are major traumatic events for me. And back in the day, any one of those things would have made me want to give up my will to live. I'm not talking suicide, but I am talking lay in bed or walk around like a disengaged zombie for many months or try and find happiness at the bottom of a bottle or something like that.

I'm not using them as fuel either.

But the fact that I'm still here, the fact that I'm still alive, engaged, smiling, moving forward, feeling blessed, this proved me that I can handle a silly thing like growing an agency or starting a third business. I am not broken, but I am not saying I was unaffected.

Is this available somewhere for watching?

No. The summit was not recorded.

 

[Mr.Nichan]

Right.

I'm not saying I didn't get hurt because of all of that stuff. Those were/are major traumatic events for me. And back in the day, any one of those things would have made me want to give up my will to live. I'm not talking suicide, but I am talking lay in bed or walk around like a disengaged zombie for many months or try and find happiness at the bottom of a bottle or something like that.

I'm not using them as fuel either.

But the fact that I'm still here, the fact that I'm still alive, engaged, smiling, moving forward, feeling blessed, this proved me that I can handle a silly thing like growing an agency or starting a third business. I am not broken, but I am not saying I was unaffected.

I hope that what I wrote didn't made it seem like I implied it did not affect you. That was not my intention. And if so, I deeply apologize.

You obviously came out on top stronger and I salute you for that! Lesser events has brought down stronger men.

 

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