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SamRussell

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I'm sure the 5x known homewrecker my wife knows would really like to do good. Wants to do good. Would you think my wife should start a relationship with her/friendship with her? Hint: Prob not.

The world doesn't care what anyone wants.

Want = who cares.

If the old saying is true, "you are the sum of the 5 people you hang around most", then I'm trying to NOT hang around people that are making mistakes and causing issues and doing the things I pointed out above earlier.

.

I figured out, slightly later than I should have, that a good way to see a persons character is to look at their friends.
 

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Andy Black

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I figured out, slightly later than I should have, that a good way to see a persons character is to look at their friends.
And how they treat people who aren’t their friends.
 

Roark666

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I figured out, slightly later than I should have, that a good way to see a persons character is to look at their friends.
Yeah im feeling even more cynical now. Again I'm not a "negative" person. I don't walk into a room and bring people down. If I think something negative about someone I shut my mouth unless that person annoys the crap out of me.

Ill tell how I came to these conclusions. When life was good and I was on top of the world I had a lot of so called "friends" always asking for stuff and favors, wanting to hang out, and being very nice. However through the fake smile my closest friend secretly backstabbed me by spreading rumors to bring me down but when I confronted him about it he met me with a smile saying he loves me and he would never do such a thing. Now I naievly believed him because j was young and didn't know better but the evidence kept popping through.

Watch as your "friends' (If your arlund a bunch of losers) or peers will be mad at you If you start getting money or get an amazing girlfriend or boyfriend. Yes some will love you but the majority will hate you. When I then got down to a bad spot in life people's true colors show. Everyone that supossedly loved me all left and didn't give a fvck. My backstabbing friend now showed his true disgusting colors and kicked me when I was down openly (not physically but emotionally) along with others. Yeah you may think they are your friends now that things are good but that's because they have an incentive to be on their best behavior because you have success so to speak.

Yes I'm cynical. But I'm wiser now. I let myself be hurt because I was naieve to how the world works.
 

Longlong

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I get what you're saying.

But unintentional or not, does it matter?

If they WANT to be good, but still ACT and DO bad, does it matter?

-

I'm sure the convicted pedophile down the street really wants to be good.

Does that mean I'm allowing my daughters to start a relationship with him. A friendship maybe?

Does that mean I going to do it? Allow them a bit into my world and privacy?

Yeah, don't think so.

The world doesn't care what you want. Why?

Because it's full of the type of people I explained earlier about in my post that you are trying to defend. So wanting doesn't count for anything. It's the action in the end.

I'm sure the 5x known homewrecker my wife knows would really like to do good. Wants to do good. Would you think my wife should start a relationship with her/friendship with her? Hint: Prob not.

The world doesn't care what anyone wants.

Want = who cares.

If the old saying is true, "you are the sum of the 5 people you hang around most", then I'm trying to NOT hang around people that are making mistakes and causing issues and doing the things I pointed out above earlier.

.

You are focused on how these people are affecting your life and those around you which is amazing. I always advocated strong boundaries so that already takes care of those points. I think almost everyone (your average person who is not a criminal and the only kind of people I am talking about since that's the majority) shares some sort of those bad qualities you listed. They also share the exact opposite and have really good qualities about them. I just don't like labeling a blanket "people are shitty". It's not black and white.

Who said it was the minorities responsibility?

Who said it was judgment being passed?

Sounds like scripted talk.

If someone "breaks free" from a certain script, and has a much better way of doing / living, then it's a shame if that person doesn't share it. They aren't obligated in anyway. You can go and live your life how you want. But its just like how Eckhart Tolle spreads his teachings on presence, or how a parent who learned a different way of parenting started to spread ideas into other parents minds. Why would you want to continue to see others suffer if there's a better way?

The script that most people are following is definitely not what I am saying, which is to raise the consciousness of others. (Again, this doesn't mean letting "bad" people into your sacred circle)
 
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Longlong

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We're all bad.

It's been proven with game theory.

In every single instance the player will choose to steal his neighbour's goods instead of working for them if there's no reprisals.

We just like to think we're good.

never looked into it, but assuming you are right, how does that affect the world we live in?

Are we not continually striving to do better than our "nature"? We have a natural desire to violently hurt someone, do we have to act on it because in a world with no rules we'd do so?

Humans have eaten meat forever, but now people want to stop and be vegan (i'm not vegan btw). That's a conscious choice that goes against our nature isn't it?

I don't think we're good by default, I think we can be good if we choose to. btw good and bad mean so many different things to different people, when I say good, i mean actions and beliefs that help other people.
 
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robertwills

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Yeah im feeling even more cynical now. Again I'm not a "negative" person. I don't walk into a room and bring people down. If I think something negative about someone I shut my mouth unless that person annoys the crap out of me.

Ill tell how I came to these conclusions. When life was good and I was on top of the world I had a lot of so called "friends" always asking for stuff and favors, wanting to hang out, and being very nice. However through the fake smile my closest friend secretly backstabbed me by spreading rumors to bring me down but when I confronted him about it he met me with a smile saying he loves me and he would never do such a thing. Now I naievly believed him because j was young and didn't know better but the evidence kept popping through.

Watch as your "friends' (If your arlund a bunch of losers) or peers will be mad at you If you start getting money or get an amazing girlfriend or boyfriend. Yes some will love you but the majority will hate you. When I then got down to a bad spot in life people's true colors show. Everyone that supossedly loved me all left and didn't give a fvck. My backstabbing friend now showed his true disgusting colors and kicked me when I was down openly (not physically but emotionally) along with others. Yeah you may think they are your friends now that things are good but that's because they have an incentive to be on their best behavior because you have success so to speak.

Yes I'm cynical. But I'm wiser now. I let myself be hurt because I was naieve to how the world works.
"When I then got down to a bad spot in life people's true colors show. Everyone that supossedly loved me all left and didn't give a fvck."

I have not found that at all. In fact being down is just part of life and people I have known just carried on as usual with me and were supportive and even inspiring. When I was up the only people who treated my nice that were also fake were strangers who saw my car and assumed I was rich (I was not, Haha) . Maybe it's the culture you live in where people act that way?
 

Roark666

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never looked into it, but assuming you are right, how does that affect the world we live in?

Are we not continually striving to do better than our "nature"? We have a natural desire to violently hurt someone, do we have to act on it because in a world with no rules we'd do so?

Humans have eaten meat forever, but now people want to stop and be vegan (i'm not vegan btw). That's a conscious choice that goes against our nature isn't it?

I don't think we're good by default, I think we can be good if we choose to. btw good and bad mean so many different things to different people, when I say good, i mean actions and beliefs that help other people.
We are getting pg
"When I then got down to a bad spot in life people's true colors show. Everyone that supossedly loved me all left and didn't give a fvck."

I have not found that at all. In fact being down is just part of life and people I have known just carried on as usual with me and were supportive and even inspiring. When I was up the only people who treated my nice that were also fake were strangers who saw my car and assumed I was rich (I was not, Haha) . Maybe it's the culture you live in where people act that way?
i lived in new york. I live in cali now but i believe most people are like this.
If youre good with girls you know how guys can hate on you and try to backstab you because your getting chicks. This is what happened to me when I started getting good with girls at 18 and watching all my friends who cant get laid putting me down or subtly backstabbing me in passive aggressive ways.

Im not rich but I assume people will do the same when you are at the top of the mountain from stories ive heard from wealthy people. They even said there own family members hated them when they became wealthy
 

Mutant

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I've been in there - in a dark place where everyone lets you down. It is eye opening & not especially pleasant. But like many things in life, one's perspective is paramount.
Whilst I was having my "eyes opened" I made sure to take a look at myself too & learn the lessons I needed to learn out of it - where I'd also gone wrong.

Then I did something about it.

Do you believe that - in amongst all the many, many people that suck - there are gems? People that are fun & interesting in the good times, & there for you in the bad times? People that are like minded? People that actively avoid drama rather than stirring things up needlessly? People with integrity?

If you don't, well, you won't have to look far for proof that you're right, & you can just get on with whatever existence you have planned for yourself.

If however you believe they're out there somewhere, well then your job is to find them & nurture those relationships.

I knew the kind of people I was after were niche, & so I upped my odds by being in a big city. It's not just a numbers game either - I wanted ambitious people who were doing something with their lives, so I embraced London - the centre of almost all industries in this country (& for a country roughly the size of Louisiana (England) or Oregon (the UK) we're certainly punching above our weight internationally too). Depending on where you are, moving could be helpful. So could the internet.

I also checked my expectations. I don't rely on any single person for everything - even in a romantic relationship. I have different friends for different interests, different activities (partying? philosophising? hitting various activities? industry strategising? Sure there's some overlap, but I have different crowds for each). Plus, when you are down, realise you can be draining (we all can) & by cultivating a whole group of friends (who are there for you), you can allow each to support you in turn.

Yes it takes energy, & there's times in my life when I have more of that or less of that & I adjust my actions accordingly. I also expect my friends to do similar. This means there will be periods where I'm mainly the one reaching out. I've made my peace with that. Some eventually drift away with no drama. One of the hallmarks of a good friendship though is when you do reconnect with someone, it can be like you spoke only yesterday. For the most part though, my friends are now solid friends of many years. And I'm still making new ones.

There's nothing quite like connecting with a similar brain. I think it's one of the main joys in life.

Even if the kind of people you get on with are very, very niche, it is possible to fill your world with them. I have.
And I enjoy my little bubble.
 

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I've been in there - in a dark place where everyone lets you down. It is eye opening & not especially pleasant. But like many things in life, one's perspective is paramount.
Whilst I was having my "eyes opened" I made sure to take a look at myself too & learn the lessons I needed to learn out of it - where I'd also gone wrong.

Then I did something about it.

Do you believe that - in amongst all the many, many people that suck - there are gems? People that are fun & interesting in the good times, & there for you in the bad times? People that are like minded? People that actively avoid drama rather than stirring things up needlessly? People with integrity?

If you don't, well, you won't have to look far for proof that you're right, & you can just get on with whatever existence you have planned for yourself.

If however you believe they're out there somewhere, well then your job is to find them & nurture those relationships.

I knew the kind of people I was after were niche, & so I upped my odds by being in a big city. It's not just a numbers game either - I wanted ambitious people who were doing something with their lives, so I embraced London - the centre of almost all industries in this country (& for a country roughly the size of Louisiana (England) or Oregon (the UK) we're certainly punching above our weight internationally too). Depending on where you are, moving could be helpful. So could the internet.

I also checked my expectations. I don't rely on any single person for everything - even in a romantic relationship. I have different friends for different interests, different activities (partying? philosophising? hitting various activities? industry strategising? Sure there's some overlap, but I have different crowds for each). Plus, when you are down, realise you can be draining (we all can) & by cultivating a whole group of friends (who are there for you), you can allow each to support you in turn.

Yes it takes energy, & there's times in my life when I have more of that or less of that & I adjust my actions accordingly. I also expect my friends to do similar. This means there will be periods where I'm mainly the one reaching out. I've made my peace with that. Some eventually drift away with no drama. One of the hallmarks of a good friendship though is when you do reconnect with someone, it can be like you spoke only yesterday. For the most part though, my friends are now solid friends of many years. And I'm still making new ones.

There's nothing quite like connecting with a similar brain. I think it's one of the main joys in life.

Even if the kind of people you get on with are very, very niche, it is possible to fill your world with them. I have.
And I enjoy my little bubble.

Very well said :clap::
 

robertwills

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We are getting pg

i lived in new york. I live in cali now but i believe most people are like this.
If youre good with girls you know how guys can hate on you and try to backstab you because your getting chicks. This is what happened to me when I started getting good with girls at 18 and watching all my friends who cant get laid putting me down or subtly backstabbing me in passive aggressive ways.

Im not rich but I assume people will do the same when you are at the top of the mountain from stories ive heard from wealthy people. They even said there own family members hated them when they became wealthy
"If youre good with girls you know how guys can hate on you and try to backstab you because your getting chicks."

I never experienced that with any guys I have known from junior high into adulthood. In fact an old friend called my recently and said he met a woman and he traveled to her place across the country and they spent weeks together. Both have no work responsibilities during the pandemic and he told me they had a non-stop wonderful time together. The fact the woman is a great cook was a definite plus. I was legitimately very happy for him.

I know it's not always easy to meet the right people but I also know for a fact that there are lots of mature, responsible people "out there" that would never backstab or desert or do anything crummy to a friend or acquaintance. I heard that many people in Cali are fake so again maybe it's just where you are currently located.
 

Roark666

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"If youre good with girls you know how guys can hate on you and try to backstab you because your getting chicks."

I never experienced that with any guys I have known from junior high into adulthood. In fact an old friend called my recently and said he met a woman and he traveled to her place across the country and they spent weeks together. Both have no work responsibilities during the pandemic and he told me they had a non-stop wonderful time together. The fact the woman is a great cook was a definite plus. I was legitimately very happy for him.

I know it's not always easy to meet the right people but I also know for a fact that there are lots of mature, responsible people "out there" that would never backstab or desert or do anything crummy to a friend or acquaintance. I heard that many people in Cali are fake so again maybe it's just where you are currently located.
I came from ny I know no one here yet. But yeah my view on people is pretty set. The majority suck absolute a$$ with no integrity and will be a net negative for this world
 

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WJK

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I have to disagree with some statements on this post that "people are good" or that "generally people are good".

No.

People typically are selfish, immature, bad decision makers, won't admit when they are wrong, and sheep. Most are also closed minded and can't think for themselves. That mix doesn't equal out to "good" or being good most times.

That leaves a small amount of people that are not that. Or are at different levels of those stages who might be "bearable".

Finding the "gems" or the "awesome people" or the real "friends" then becomes very difficult. But like all great things in this world, nothing is easy.

It's part of the reason divorce is so high now days. Why finding good business partners is so hard. Why workplaces are so toxic at many employers. Why so many people have 1,000's of social media "friends" but in real life have less than 5.

The world is a pretty shitty place the majority of the time. The world = people.

Don't believe me? Try being homeless for 90 days or more. Sure you run across some gems, but what's the majority treating you like?

I've adopted a policy personally that you have to earn your way into my circle for friendship or a relationship. Earning to me probably isn't what it is to you though. This is how I find awesome people.

Trust me, the gate is narrow folks.
How sad for you to have such a low opinion of other people and the larger world. Yes, everyone is self interested on some level. Yes, everyone can be jerks. And we are both included in those failings. But, our challenge is to find the good part in ourselves and in others. Then we can chose to bring out that good.

You talk about being homeless. I helped start the first shelter in the Greater Los Angeles area for homeless women and their children. Before, no one would take the kids -- only adult women. I was chairman of the board for 5 years. During my participation, we helped about 5,000 women and 8,000 kids.

Today I deal with homeless issues on a regular basis through my residential units. Last month, it was disabled, senior couple who were just about to become homeless. The husband has had multiple strokes and the wife has emotional problems. They are moving into a bigger unit this week. This month we just moved in a guy who was homeless veteran. He's had to have both of his feet amputated. It took the cooperation of the State housing agency, his VA case worker, his State case worker, a local charity and me. We're not sure that he can live on his own, but we all worked together to let him try. Over half of my tenants are either disabled or seniors -- or both. And other tenants have kids -- lots of kids.

It's true. Sometimes people (some that I have helped) are mean to me. At those moments, I just hang on to the good times. I make the choice to not let them get me down -- and yes, it is my choice. Getting me upset doesn't hurt them at all. It only hurts me.

Start by loving yourself. Then help someone around you. Your view of other and the greater world is primarily a reflection of yourself.
 

Roark666

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How sad for you to have such a low opinion of other people and the larger world. Yes, everyone is self interested on some level. Yes, everyone can be jerks. And we are both included in those failings. But, our challenge is to find the good part in ourselves and in others. Then we can chose to bring out that good.

You talk about being homeless. I helped start the first shelter in the Greater Los Angeles area for homeless women and their children. Before, no one would take the kids -- only adult women. I was chairman of the board for 5 years. During my participation, we helped about 5,000 women and 8,000 kids.

Today I deal with homeless issues on a regular basis through my residential units. Last month, it was disabled, senior couple who were just about to become homeless. The husband has had multiple strokes and the wife has emotional problems. They are moving into a bigger unit this week. This month we just moved in a guy who was homeless veteran. He's had to have both of his feet amputated. It took the cooperation of the State housing agency, his VA case worker, his State case worker, a local charity and me. We're not sure that he can live on his own, but we all worked together to let him try. Over half of my tenants are either disabled or seniors -- or both. And other tenants have kids -- lots of kids.

It's true. Sometimes people (some that I have helped) are mean to me. At those moments, I just hang on to the good times. I make the choice to not let them get me down -- and yes, it is my choice. Getting me upset doesn't hurt them at all. It only hurts me.

Start by loving yourself. Then help someone around you. Your view of other and the greater world is primarily a reflection of yourself.
Yes and no. Let's be real here. Most people are idiots and are sheep that will follow the crowd. Case in point. If a sports team loses a lot most fans will either stop following them or be depressed. If a business is ablut to fail watch all the employees quit and get a better job. People aren't as loyal as we want them to be. They go with the winner. Same with women. If you lose your job or become a general loser they will not stick around and go for something better. It's human nature and no ideological view will change that. I've tried to be mr positive but it's a fairy tale. People are mean and selfish and will kick you if your down if they have the power to (not everyone but most will)
 

WJK

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Yes and no. Let's be real here. Most people are idiots and are sheep that will follow the crowd. Case in point. If a sports team loses a lot most fans will either stop following them or be depressed. If a business is ablut to fail watch all the employees quit and get a better job. People aren't as loyal as we want them to be. They go with the winner. Same with women. If you lose your job or become a general loser they will not stick around and go for something better. It's human nature and no ideological view will change that. I've tried to be mr positive but it's a fairy tale. People are mean and selfish and will kick you if your down if they have the power to (not everyone but most will)
My point exactly. You find what you look for. The people around you are a reflection of who you are. You feel that you have been treated unfairly. Who ever said that life is supposed to be fair? It is what it is. My goal is to make life better for me -- and the people around me. I know that the quality of my life depends in part on my little circle of people. We're a herd animal by nature. I want my life to be harmonious so I try to work well with the people around me.
 

WJK

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If you don't know anyone there yet then you can't possibly know that everyone there has no integrity.
My dad used to tell a story about the old man who sat at the gates of a city. There was a beggar boy there sitting close to him. A couple walked up and asked what kind of people lived in the city. The old man asked what people are like where they came from. The couple talked about how bad they were -- liars, thieves, rotten to the core... The old man replied that people inside the gates were the same. They'd better look for another place to live. The couple trudged off to find another home. A second couple walked up to the old man with the same question and the old man asked them his question. They replied how wonderful the people were in their old home. They talked about how kind and wonderful the people were that they left behind. The old man stepped aside and ushered them in while explaining that the people in the city were similar. They would make wonderful new neighbors. After the second couple went into the city, the beggar boy confronted the old man's answers. Both of these statements couldn't be true since they were talking about the same people in the same city. The old man replied to beggar boy in one sentence, saying, "You find whatever you look for."
 

thechosen1

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My point exactly. You find what you look for. The people around you are a reflection of who you are. You feel that you have been treated unfairly. Who ever said that life is supposed to be fair? It is what it is. My goal is to make life better for me -- and the people around me. I know that the quality of my life depends in part on my little circle of people. We're a herd animal by nature. I want my life to be harmonious so I try to work well with the people around me.

@WJK is right.

it’s cheesy but “be the change you want to see in the world.”

I struggle with cynicism and negativity as much as the next person, but I know and I desire to be an optimist!

Optimism is a winning outlook for life. Yes you need to verify, no you should not blindly trust people, but you shouldn’t walk around grumbling and expecting everything to suck either. I’m as guilty as the next person of this!

Remember how MJ talked about attracting money by providing value? Same thing here.

Attract relationship value by first providing it!

Do you want people in your life who are positive, uplifting, ambitious and energetic?

Then be those things!!

Do you want someone you can count on?

Then first be a person that others can count on!


That’s how life works!
 
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Roark666

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@WJK is right.

it’s cheesy but “be the change you want to see in the world.”

I struggle with cynicism and negativity as much as the next person, but I know and I desire to be an optimist!

Optimism is a winning outlook for life. Yes you need to verify, no you should not blindly trust people, but you shouldn’t walk around grumbling and expecting everything to suck either. I’m as guilty as the next person of this!

Remember how MJ talked about attracting money by providing value? Same thing here.

Attract relationship value by first providing it!

Do you want people in your life who are positive, uplifting, ambitious and energetic?

Then be those things!!

Do you want someone you can count on?

Then first be a person that others can count on!

That’s how life works!
For every one person like that there are a millions who are unreliable. You should be that change for yourself not others. They'll congratulate you and admire you and maybe inspire them to make a change themselves but usually they'll revert back to their own ways coping with themselves. I know I sound negative but I'm not. I'm now hopeful for my future but much more pickier of. Who I surrounf myself with. Most people stagnate and gett worse over time. Don't believe me? Go to your hs reunion and guarantee almost all of them will behave the same. Sure there are outliers but most people never grow up.
 

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For every one person like that there are a millions who are unreliable. You should be that change for yourself not others. They'll congratulate you and admire you and maybe inspire them to make a change themselves but usually they'll revert back to their own ways coping with themselves. I know I sound negative but I'm not. I'm now hopeful for my future but much more pickier of. Who I surrounf myself with. Most people stagnate and gett worse over time. Don't believe me? Go to your hs reunion and guarantee almost all of them will behave the same. Sure there are outliers but most people never grow up.
You are too focused on other people. Focus on making yourself better.
 

WJK

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For every one person like that there are a millions who are unreliable. You should be that change for yourself not others. They'll congratulate you and admire you and maybe inspire them to make a change themselves but usually they'll revert back to their own ways coping with themselves. I know I sound negative but I'm not. I'm now hopeful for my future but much more pickier of. Who I surrounf myself with. Most people stagnate and gett worse over time. Don't believe me? Go to your hs reunion and guarantee almost all of them will behave the same. Sure there are outliers but most people never grow up.
You're right. When I go back to my high school reunions, it's shocking that people haven't changed that much! But, I have. I have gone further and done more in my life than I could have ever dreamed when I was going to school with them. And it's my secret. I don't share my success with my former classmates. It's none of their business and they wouldn't understand my choices and my life. I like to fly under the radar. When they ask what I'm doing, I simply tell them the broader truth -- I'm retired. I hear what is happening with people through the Facebook site, and nothing has changed with most of them -- and it never will.
 

robertwills

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You're right. When I go back to my high school reunions, it's shocking that people haven't changed that much! But, I have. I have gone further and done more in my life than I could have ever dreamed when I was going to school with them. And it's my secret. I don't share my success with my former classmates. It's none of their business and they wouldn't understand my choices and my life. I like to fly under the radar. When they ask what I'm doing, I simply tell them the broader truth -- I'm retired. I hear what is happening with people through the Facebook site, and nothing has changed with most of them -- and it never will.
There was a guy in my class who made it a point to post on our high school website his "impressive" career title. Actually other former students did that as well. Why do they do that? To me it seems it has no value other then to make that person feel good about themselves. Shouldn't they feel that way if they got the impressive title?
 

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WJK

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There was a guy in my class who made it a point to post on our high school website his "impressive" career title. Actually other former students did that as well. Why do they do that? To me it seems it has no value other then to make that person feel good about themselves. Shouldn't they feel that way if they got the impressive title?
Trying to impress others is SO silly. They will tell you how well you've done and then hate you for it. (It's like being too smart.) It usually starts with: you're a liar-- you can't really be telling the truth; you were just lucky; you won the lottery; you married into it; it's a passing moment and tomorrow you'll be broke again; you cheated -- because no one can gain success without cheating... ; and list goes on. I gave up long ago trying to tell people how to make it work... that I carefully planned my path, move by move. I made adjustment as necessary. And then I got up every morning and I cheerfully worked my plan. While they were partying, I was working and going to school. While they were on their expensive vacations I was doing charity work and taking care of the people that I love. Even today, I'm no good at being retired So I get up every morning and I go to work. I'm still in my office as this Saturday afternoon waning into evening, finishing up things for the day. How can ever explain that sense of drive and lifestyle to people who have never lived it????

Here's the bottom line -- who in the world do I need to impress at the point in my life? Frankly, in this moment I just don't give a damn.
 

BizyDad

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Yes and no. Let's be real here. Most people are idiots and are sheep that will follow the crowd. Case in point. If a sports team loses a lot most fans will either stop following them or be depressed. If a business is ablut to fail watch all the employees quit and get a better job. People aren't as loyal as we want them to be. They go with the winner. Same with women. If you lose your job or become a general loser they will not stick around and go for something better. It's human nature and no ideological view will change that. I've tried to be mr positive but it's a fairy tale. People are mean and selfish and will kick you if your down if they have the power to (not everyone but most will)

Fine. After four pages, fine. Like you said, "let's be real here".

Live with this worldview. Keep being negative or cynical.

The whole moral of this story you told is "stop being a loser and go out and be a winner".

A woman will stand by her man if he loses his job. She wants to support him and be there when things turn around. But if he loses his will? Just eats cheetos and watches netflix? Yeah, that strays into loser territory and she doesn't want that.

(This is actually a bad analogy because there's plenty of women that stick by loser men. Sheesh. But let's pretend you're right.)

Sports fans will stand by their team if they have a bad year. Or a bad few years. As long as they feel like the team is making progress towards winning. Sports fans abandon teams when they feel like there's just no hope of ever being good.

(This is actual a bad analogy because the Cleveland Browns, New York Knicks, Miami Marlins, Washington football team, etc all still have fans, even after over a decade of losing. But okay, let's keep pretending your right.)

So what's the difference between a winner and a good player? It's attitude. It's the mental game.

What's the difference between Allen Iverson and Kobe Bryant (drafted at the same time, both fierce competitors, both became legends)? Kobe wanted it more.

Don't believe me? Here, read this story from Allen himself and tell me I'm wrong.


Mamba mentality Roark.

Look at tennis. Physically speaking, there isn't much difference between the top ranked player and the 100th ranked player. They all hit the ball really hard, they all have quick reflexes, etc. The mental game is the difference. (Malcolm Gladwell writes about this in I forget what book)

What made Michael Jordan different from all of the other "he's the next Michael Jordan's"? The mental game.

All these winners have haters. All these winners have people that have given up on them. They have it even worse.

All these winners have people trying to bring them down. Constantly!

Think about that.

You think you got problems? Try actually being at the top of something.

I can't help but feel like you sound a little scared to reach the top. Cuz it's lonely at the top? Or like people won't love the real you, just the winner part of you? I mean, I know I felt that way years ago.I hope you're not being disempowered by this like I was.

But the mental game isn't about impressing other people or even worrying about other people. Don't empower the haters.

The lion does not concern itself with the opinions of sheep. (Yes, I just quoted a Lannister.)

The mental game is about getting your mind right. So go get your mind right.

A lot of people have tried to give you advice here, and you ain't taking it.

So go figure out how to be a winner. I know you can do this.

You also might want to study up on how to be a leader. Being in business is hard. And your attitude is going to make it harder. Life is hard. And your attitude is going to make it harder.

Here's the bottom line -- who in the world do I need to impress at the point in my life? Frankly, in this moment I just don't give a damn.

Read that again. Who do you need to impress Roark?

I'll tell you who. Yourself.

Dedicate yourself to that for a long while. Keep believing this non sense, keep being mr negative, and let it fuel you like MJ getting cut from high school bball. (Seriously, even after his first three-peat, he still used that as fuel. That's ludicrous. Tom Brady is still pissed he dropped to the sixth round in the draft after he got benched at Michigan. That was 20 years ago Tom! Apparently winners do not let things go easily...)

Go become the winner you obviously want to be. Adopt a winner's attitude. Adopt a winner's beliefs. Adopt a winner's work ethic.

And fire yourself up and go out and do things that really really REALLY impresses the crap out of you.

And then go do something cooler than that.

Like Kobe, find yourself working on your craft while other people are out at the club.

... I'm wiser now. I let myself be hurt because I was naieve to how the world works

That's just going to keep happening buddy. You know this. Even the strongest people in this thread get hurt by other people from time to time. That's the bad news.

The good news is you're going to keep learning and adjusting and keep getting wiser.

I know you will. You know you will.

You started with this thought:

I'm honestly thinking of just getting a dog and working on myself and dying on my bed alone. Seriously.

You're right. Do it! Work on yourself. Do it to the maximum.

If you do this to its fullest, I promise you years from now you'll realize the only thing you were wrong about is this: you are not going to die in your bed alone.

You will find true loyalty and true friendship. You'll find your Allen Iverson. Your Pau Gasol. You'll find your family.

Heck, my family started with a dog too, so there's that. Fun fact - Cynic meant dog like in ancient Greece.
 
Last edited:

amp0193

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Look at tennis. Physically speaking, there isn't much difference between the top ranked player and the 100th ranked player. They all hit the ball really hard, they all have quick reflexes, etc. The mental game is the difference. (Malcolm Gladwell writes about this in I forget what book)

The Inner Game of Tennis is one of the most life-changing books I've ever read. Not sure if that's the one you were referring to.

Nice post by the way.
 

Roark666

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If you don't know anyone there yet then you can't possibly know that everyone there has no integrity.
Most people are.
Fine. After four pages, fine. Like you said, "let's be real here".

Live with this worldview. Keep being negative or cynical.

The whole moral of this story you told is "stop being a loser and go out and be a winner".

A woman will stand by her man if he loses his job. She wants to support him and be there when things turn around. But if he loses his will? Just eats cheetos and watches netflix? Yeah, that strays into loser territory and she doesn't want that.

(This is actually a bad analogy because there's plenty of women that stick by loser men. Sheesh. But let's pretend you're right.)

Sports fans will stand by their team if they have a bad year. Or a bad few years. As long as they feel like the team is making progress towards winning. Sports fans abandon teams when they feel like there's just no hope of ever being good.

(This is actual a bad analogy because the Cleveland Browns, New York Knicks, Miami Marlins, Washington football team, etc all still have fans, even after over a decade of losing. But okay, let's keep pretending your right.)

So what's the difference between a winner and a good player? It's attitude. It's the mental game.

What's the difference between Allen Iverson and Kobe Bryant (drafted at the same time, both fierce competitors, both became legends)? Kobe wanted it more.

Don't believe me? Here, read this story from Allen himself and tell me I'm wrong.


Mamba mentality Roark.

Look at tennis. Physically speaking, there isn't much difference between the top ranked player and the 100th ranked player. They all hit the ball really hard, they all have quick reflexes, etc. The mental game is the difference. (Malcolm Gladwell writes about this in I forget what book)

What made Michael Jordan different from all of the other "he's the next Michael Jordan's"? The mental game.

All these winners have haters. All these winners have people that have given up on them. They have it even worse.

All these winners have people trying to bring them down. Constantly!

Think about that.

You think you got problems? Try actually being at the top of something.

I can't help but feel like you sound a little scared to reach the top. Cuz it's lonely at the top? Or like people won't love the real you, just the winner part of you? I mean, I know I felt that way years ago.I hope you're not being disempowered by this like I was.

But the mental game isn't about impressing other people or even worrying about other people. Don't empower the haters.

The lion does not concern itself with the opinions of sheep. (Yes, I just quoted a Lannister.)

The mental game is about getting your mind right. So go get your mind right.

A lot of people have tried to give you advice here, and you ain't taking it.

So go figure out how to be a winner. I know you can do this.

You also might want to study up on how to be a leader. Being in business is hard. And your attitude is going to make it harder. Life is hard. And your attitude is going to make it harder.



Read that again. Who do you need to impress Roark?

I'll tell you who. Yourself.

Dedicate yourself to that for a long while. Keep believing this non sense, keep being mr negative, and let it fuel you like MJ getting cut from high school bball. (Seriously, even after his first three-peat, he still used that as fuel. That's ludicrous. Tom Brady is still pissed he dropped to the sixth round in the draft after he got benched at Michigan. That was 20 years ago Tom! Apparently winners do not let things go easily...)

Go become the winner you obviously want to be. Adopt a winner's attitude. Adopt a winner's beliefs. Adopt a winner's work ethic.

And fire yourself up and go out and do things that really really REALLY impresses the crap out of you.

And then go do something cooler than that.

Like Kobe, find yourself working on your craft while other people are out at the club.



That's just going to keep happening buddy. You know this. Even the strongest people in this thread get hurt by other people from time to time. That's the bad news.

The good news is you're going to keep learning and adjusting and keep getting wiser.

I know you will. You know you will.

You started with this thought:



You're right. Do it! Work on yourself. Do it to the maximum.

If you do this to its fullest, I promise you years from now you'll realize the only thing you were wrong about is this: you are not going to die in your bed alone.

You will find true loyalty and true friendship. You'll find your Allen Iverson. Your Pau Gasol. You'll find your family.

Heck, my family started with a dog too, so there's that. Fun fact - Cynic meant dog like in ancient Greece.
Got me fired up reading this post
 

Roark666

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Aug 6, 2020
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There was a guy in my class who made it a point to post on our high school website his "impressive" career title. Actually other former students did that as well. Why do they do that? To me it seems it has no value other then to make that person feel good about themselves. Shouldn't they feel that way if they got the impressive title?
It's not real self worth. One of the reasons I despise humanity. These are the same people that will cut you down if it has a chance of making them feel better. My thoughts are concluded. I know there are good people. But they are heavily out majoritied by bad people or at least unconscious people as eckhart tolle says. They aren't aware of the things they are doing are bad. And to those that deny this think of how polluted the earth is. Really? People don't give a sh1t. They are selfish little fvckers fvcking anyone over without realizing it. Not everyone. But most.
 

Kasimir

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I have 2 friends Outside my family.
I can phone them any tome for anything.
The can phone my any time for anything.
I couldn’t make a business with them, but a bank robbery when necessary.
Thats a treasure!
These friends are important, especially if your business has some liquidity problems.

I have different friends for different activities.
Fitness/Gym friends.
Party/drinking friends.
Business friends.
I don't put them into categories, but I just know that with some I can't have a drink and with some, I can't talk about business. And I need all of them. But it's important that I don't spend too much time with one group. Happened a little in lockdown, first I focused a little too much on business and disregarded fitness and business. And then I focused too much on party and drinking. It's important that the balance is kept.
And if you don't receive the same energy you give or you see that they aren't good for you. Let them go, even if it hurts.
 

eliquid

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How sad for you to have such a low opinion of other people and the larger world. Yes, everyone is self interested on some level. Yes, everyone can be jerks. And we are both included in those failings. But, our challenge is to find the good part in ourselves and in others. Then we can chose to bring out that good.

You talk about being homeless. I helped start the first shelter in the Greater Los Angeles area for homeless women and their children. Before, no one would take the kids -- only adult women. I was chairman of the board for 5 years. During my participation, we helped about 5,000 women and 8,000 kids.

Today I deal with homeless issues on a regular basis through my residential units. Last month, it was disabled, senior couple who were just about to become homeless. The husband has had multiple strokes and the wife has emotional problems. They are moving into a bigger unit this week. This month we just moved in a guy who was homeless veteran. He's had to have both of his feet amputated. It took the cooperation of the State housing agency, his VA case worker, his State case worker, a local charity and me. We're not sure that he can live on his own, but we all worked together to let him try. Over half of my tenants are either disabled or seniors -- or both. And other tenants have kids -- lots of kids.

It's true. Sometimes people (some that I have helped) are mean to me. At those moments, I just hang on to the good times. I make the choice to not let them get me down -- and yes, it is my choice. Getting me upset doesn't hurt them at all. It only hurts me.

Start by loving yourself. Then help someone around you. Your view of other and the greater world is primarily a reflection of yourself.

I like how I talk about how people are mostly bad and that:
Code:
People typically are selfish, immature, bad decision makers, won't admit when they are wrong, and sheep. Most are also closed minded and can't think for themselves. That mix doesn't equal out to "good" or being good most times.

That leaves a small amount of people that are not that. Or are at different levels of those stages who might be "bearable".

Finding the "gems" or the "awesome people" or the real "friends" then becomes very difficult. But like all great things in this world, nothing is easy.

I mentioned there are gems out there, right. You might be one of them.

But then you went on to affirm what I said with
Code:
Before, no one would take the kids -- only adult women

and that the people you take in are mean to you.

You argue back that we need to find good in others, and then dive into a story about yourself. Proving my about about selfishness and self interest. You didn't even make a valid argument back... just a story about you and you helping people, which doesn't change the "bad people" around you out in the world.

All you did was go in a nonsense circle about you.

Just because you did a nice thing and have a nice outlook... nothing happened to the other people I am talking about. They wouldn't even help kids before you stepped in. What does that tell you about our default nature?

.
 
Last edited:

eliquid

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If you don't know anyone there yet then you can't possibly know that everyone there has no integrity.
Were you the same person that got flamed here last month trying to dig out detailed info about someone esle's success here:

Someone made money in that thread, and you wanted a one-stop recipe hand detailed out case study so you could copy. Your words here:
Code:
It would be very interesting and very helpful to many people if you detailed exactly what you did. Just saying "dropshipping" is not enough. What is needed is something like "I contacted company X and got pricing for every unit sold." Details like that that show exactly how it was done. Most "success" books just talk about having a positive attitude, etc.. That's definitely important but the exact know if critical and getting money into one's bank account. So a detailed case study would be unprecedented.

and:
Code:
I was looking for a "one stop" place to get detailed know-how that could be put into immediate action with positive results. A recipe, if you will, that can be followed with more or less the same results.

For example, "I enter into an agreement with company X that for every order of product Y I bring to them they pay me $5. I put an ad on this website (name) and my expenses are $1500 per month to do so. I sell about 100 units a day. The company ships direct to the customers and pays me within 30 days by wire transfer. The last year I made about $150,000 net profit."

You don't look up or gather info on your own. You wait for others to hand it out to you and build off their success patterns.

But you gonna give advice here and tell someone else to find something out on their own now by "going into the city ( paraphrase ) and find out if they have integrity"?

You guys are making this fvckin easy to prove my point right now. How selfish and self centered. lol

.
 

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