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Fvck relationships and friendships

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Would you like to have more friends and people in your life? Some people just don't like people that much, and they do well on their own, and don't have much desire for more friends.

On the other hand, if you're craving connection with people, but just can't seem to find it then maybe you should take a little break like you said. Because if you see patterns in your life, like putting more effort into relationships than the people you want to cultivate a relationship with, it could be something to do with you.

Looking back at this post:



I'm being genuine with you, and not trying to put you down, I speak from my own experience here. If you're one month away from being homeless and starving, you have bigger problems than making more friends. In my opinion, you should get some stability, think about what you want to do with your life, and start going after it. Again not trying to be mean here, but people aren't going to want to befriend you if you're about to be homeless and starve. You don't have much value to offer people, it seems like, right now. It's okay, you gotta start somewhere. But people want to be friends with people who they find some sort of value in.

Also, work on the pessimistic attitude. If you believe people will bring you down for being successful, you'll never be successful. People WANT to be around successful people, not around people who complain and don't have their life in order.

Seriously, the universe isn't against you, and neither are people. You just have to face the reality that people want to be around people they find value in. Men and women. If you're finding people aren't treating you well and reciprocating, it's time to build some value in your own life, and have your own thing going on. People will want to be apart of it if it's cool.


Nah man I don't feel like this. There's too much life to live. If you feel this way all the time, I would go to a doctor and maybe get on antidepressants. You don't have to take them forever, but maybe it'll get you out of this rut.

In the meantime, try going to the gym, eat well and sleep well. Ease off the drugs if you take any.

I really hope this advice helps you, we care about you here in this community. Keep us updated.
Amazing post!! Your advice is spot on.

I have one question, what exactly do you mean by "offering value to people"? I know it has something to do with how you make the other person feel when they're around you. But I never really understood this whole idea of "having value in your life". Do you have some examples of this? How does having value show in real life interactions? Thank you!
 

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James Klymus

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Amazing post!! Your advice is spot on.

I have one question, what exactly do you mean by "offering value to people"? I know it has something to do with how you make the other person feel when they're around you. But I never really understood this whole idea of "having value in your life". Do you have some examples of this? How does having value show in real life interactions? Thank you!

It's hard to isolate and put your finger on. It's a nebulous concept, and it depends on what the other person values. Are you fun to be around? Have a sense of humor? Are you well connected with a big network and have the ability to facilitate new relationships between people? Do you have an exciting life that people want to be part of? Do you share hobbies that you can do together and get better at? Do you offer a service that other people want?

Think about people you want to be around in your own life. Why do you want to be around them? Theres always a reason, even if it's you both just enjoy shooting the shit over a beer. Maybe they have something you want, Maybe they can help you with your career, Maybe they know someone you want to know. Interpersonal relationships are complex.

If you don't have anything to offer people, no one will want to be around you. Think about it, Even if you're a homeless person people will still find some value in you. They'll get a good feeling about them selves by giving you some change, or an opportunity. Charity has value because people get good feelings (Value) by donating.
 

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An interesting thread with many twists on the concept of friendships and relationships. I believe this is a deeply personal issue with vastly different meanings and outcomes for each person. Each of us must learn to find satisfaction in the life we lead - which may or may not involve other humans or animals. Some people are just more comfortable with other animals than they are other humans.

I'm nice to people because I want to be. I smile because I chose to. This fills my life with positive energy, uplifts my soul and gives me strength to deal with the flaming butt heads, jerks and a-holes that we are all bound to encounter in life. I chose positive energy because I believe it nurtures me. Every time I have allowed myself self pity, doubt or invited negative energy to guide me - the results have been ugly and unproductive.

I don't worry if individual humans respond, recognize or engage in my friendliness. Because I know that there are always some who will and others who won't. I do NOT let the SCRIPT decide who I will be friends with.
 

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I've adopted a policy personally that you have to earn your way into my circle for friendship or a relationship. Earning to me probably isn't what it is to you though. This is how I find awesome people.

Trust me, the gate is narrow folks.
Yep. Same.
"Earn" is a high ranking word in my vocabulary.
 

PapaGang

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I don't worry if individual humans respond, recognize or engage in my friendliness. Because I know that there are always some who will and others who won't. I do NOT let the SCRIPT decide who I will be friends with.
Kill them with kindness dog...
 

eliquid

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Its funny because I disagree with you; I think people are amazing. But then again I have very few friends, and about a billion acquaintences that I keep at arms length.

Think about this though - how many amazing things have been invented, built, created?

Lots right?

How many of those things were created by you?

Ohhh shit, looks like the whole "people are f*cked" paradigm is all in your head eh.

Focus on finding good things and maybe you'll see them.


Someone that built something, created something, or invented something does not equal a good or nice person/friend. No matter how amazing that thing might be, that doesn't cross over to them being a "better" person than someone that didn't invent or build something.

Steve Jobs built some amazing "stuff".

He was a pretty shitty person though to most people.
 

Roark666

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Its funny because I disagree with you; I think people are amazing. But then again I have very few friends, and about a billion acquaintences that I keep at arms length.

Think about this though - how many amazing things have been invented, built, created?

Lots right?

How many of those things were created by you?

Ohhh shit, looks like the whole "people are f*cked" paradigm is all in your head eh.

Focus on finding good things and maybe you'll see them.
The majority of people suck
Would you like to have more friends and people in your life? Some people just don't like people that much, and they do well on their own, and don't have much desire for more friends.

On the other hand, if you're craving connection with people, but just can't seem to find it then maybe you should take a little break like you said. Because if you see patterns in your life, like putting more effort into relationships than the people you want to cultivate a relationship with, it could be something to do with you.

Looking back at this post:



I'm being genuine with you, and not trying to put you down, I speak from my own experience here. If you're one month away from being homeless and starving, you have bigger problems than making more friends. In my opinion, you should get some stability, think about what you want to do with your life, and start going after it. Again not trying to be mean here, but people aren't going to want to befriend you if you're about to be homeless and starve. You don't have much value to offer people, it seems like, right now. It's okay, you gotta start somewhere. But people want to be friends with people who they find some sort of value in.

Also, work on the pessimistic attitude. If you believe people will bring you down for being successful, you'll never be successful. People WANT to be around successful people, not around people who complain and don't have their life in order.

Seriously, the universe isn't against you, and neither are people. You just have to face the reality that people want to be around people they find value in. Men and women. If you're finding people aren't treating you well and reciprocating, it's time to build some value in your own life, and have your own thing going on. People will want to be apart of it if it's cool.


Nah man I don't feel like this. There's too much life to live. If you feel this way all the time, I would go to a doctor and maybe get on antidepressants. You don't have to take them forever, but maybe it'll get you out of this rut.

In the meantime, try going to the gym, eat well and sleep well. Ease off the drugs if you take any.

I really hope this advice helps you, we care about you here in this community. Keep us updated.
Id
Would you like to have more friends and people in your life? Some people just don't like people that much, and they do well on their own, and don't have much desire for more friends.

On the other hand, if you're craving connection with people, but just can't seem to find it then maybe you should take a little break like you said. Because if you see patterns in your life, like putting more effort into relationships than the people you want to cultivate a relationship with, it could be something to do with you.

Looking back at this post:



I'm being genuine with you, and not trying to put you down, I speak from my own experience here. If you're one month away from being homeless and starving, you have bigger problems than making more friends. In my opinion, you should get some stability, think about what you want to do with your life, and start going after it. Again not trying to be mean here, but people aren't going to want to befriend you if you're about to be homeless and starve. You don't have much value to offer people, it seems like, right now. It's okay, you gotta start somewhere. But people want to be friends with people who they find some sort of value in.

Also, work on the pessimistic attitude. If you believe people will bring you down for being successful, you'll never be successful. People WANT to be around successful people, not around people who complain and don't have their life in order.

Seriously, the universe isn't against you, and neither are people. You just have to face the reality that people want to be around people they find value in. Men and women. If you're finding people aren't treating you well and reciprocating, it's time to build some value in your own life, and have your own thing going on. People will want to be apart of it if it's cool.


Nah man I don't feel like this. There's too much life to live. If you feel this way all the time, I would go to a doctor and maybe get on antidepressants. You don't have to take them forever, but maybe it'll get you out of this rut.

In the meantime, try going to the gym, eat well and sleep well. Ease off the drugs if you take any.

I really hope this advice helps you, we care about you here in this community. Keep us updated.
dont remember how long ago that post was but im doing fine right now. Even though i was in a rough spot i never complained or bitched. And the idea that people want to e around successful people brings me even more pessimsism towards humanity. Im not saying you shouldnt cut ties with someone thats toxic or bringing you down but i have seen cases where i have been in a downturn in my life and everyone in my life vanished but if im doing well everyone comes along. Its called fair weather friends and I dont want any of that. Case in point. My good friend is addicted to drugs right now and is going mentally bonkers. Our used to e social circle in hs are all making fun of him laughing at his demise. I reached out to him to make sure he's okay everyday. These are the same friends that are "with you bro" when your up and will laugh at you with your down. thats not a real friend what you describe. Dont want people with me only when im "successful" i want people to be with me for me as a person materalistic or not. By your argument you should be friends with anyone in a third world country who has no money but who has family values and doing his best to do with the best he can. Now if the person is emotionally draining or taxing or generally toxic thats a different story. sorry but its people like you who see the surface i cant really stand and further proves my point.
 

Quart-Jar

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Would you like to have more friends and people in your life? Some people just don't like people that much, and they do well on their own, and don't have much desire for more friends.

On the other hand, if you're craving connection with people, but just can't seem to find it then maybe you should take a little break like you said. Because if you see patterns in your life, like putting more effort into relationships than the people you want to cultivate a relationship with, it could be something to do with you.

Looking back at this post:



I'm being genuine with you, and not trying to put you down, I speak from my own experience here. If you're one month away from being homeless and starving, you have bigger problems than making more friends. In my opinion, you should get some stability, think about what you want to do with your life, and start going after it. Again not trying to be mean here, but people aren't going to want to befriend you if you're about to be homeless and starve. You don't have much value to offer people, it seems like, right now. It's okay, you gotta start somewhere. But people want to be friends with people who they find some sort of value in.

Also, work on the pessimistic attitude. If you believe people will bring you down for being successful, you'll never be successful. People WANT to be around successful people, not around people who complain and don't have their life in order.

Seriously, the universe isn't against you, and neither are people. You just have to face the reality that people want to be around people they find value in. Men and women. If you're finding people aren't treating you well and reciprocating, it's time to build some value in your own life, and have your own thing going on. People will want to be apart of it if it's cool.


Nah man I don't feel like this. There's too much life to live. If you feel this way all the time, I would go to a doctor and maybe get on antidepressants. You don't have to take them forever, but maybe it'll get you out of this rut.

In the meantime, try going to the gym, eat well and sleep well. Ease off the drugs if you take any.

I really hope this advice helps you, we care about you here in this community. Keep us updated.
Excellent journalism!

You hit a nerve with me. I've felt the way OP describes every time I'm at my lowest in life. Whenever I was, as mentioned, unemployed and nearly homeless I spent a substantial amount of time being upset with my "terrible friends" when it was me that I hated.
 

James Klymus

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These are the same friends that are "with you bro" when your up and will laugh at you with your down. thats not a real friend what you describe.

Part of growing up is realizing that "people should like me for just being me" is a bunch of Disney BS. Sure people who laugh at you while you are down are shitty, but the notion of "people should like me just because I'm me" is going to get you nowhere in life, and if you pursue entrepreneurship seriously, you will fail miserably with that attitude.

"Why doesn't anyone want to buy my product? I made it myself and i think it's great!" "Why doesn't that girl like me, Who cares if I work a job for $18/hour and have no real career path, She should like me because i exist!"

sorry but its people like you who see the surface i cant really stand and further proves my point.

I think you want the world to be how YOU want it to be, and you aren't looking at the world for what it ACTUALLY is. Nobody owes you anything for just existing, and no one will "just be there for you." Enough of the Hollywood idealistic bs dude. Build an awesome life for your self so that you don't have to complain on a forum that you can't keep people in your life.
 

Roark666

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Part of growing up is realizing that "people should like me for just being me" is a bunch of Disney BS. Sure people who laugh at you while you are down are shitty, but the notion of "people should like me just because I'm me" is going to get you nowhere in life, and if you pursue entrepreneurship seriously, you will fail miserably with that attitude.

"Why doesn't anyone want to buy my product? I made it myself and i think it's great!" "Why doesn't that girl like me, Who cares if I work a job for $18/hour and have no real career path, She should like me because i exist!"



I think you want the world to be how YOU want it to be, and you aren't looking at the world for what it ACTUALLY is. Nobody owes you anything for just existing, and no one will "just be there for you." Enough of the Hollywood idealistic bs dude. Build an awesome life for your self so that you don't have to complain on a forum that you can't keep people in your life.
Relationships and entrpreneship are two completely different things. To be honest your last two posts do seem like a dig st me but I'll let it slide. That's NOT a real friend man. I don't care what you say but sorry maybe your part of the problem. If your product sucks and the market says it sucks adjust it but who you are as a person if you aren't emotionally draining but there as someone with values above materialism will cut it to be a friend. How you treat me will determine if your my friend. If you respect my boundaries and we vibe well you're considered a friend. I'm sorry but if you leave because someone is getting paid minimum wage your not a true friend. Now Im not saying you have to hang out with them because you may be too busy but if you dgaf about them anymore your a piece of shit
 

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robertwills

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Been feeling pessimistic about people lately. Most people sleep walk through life and aren't even aware the ways they are being hurtful or neglectful in relationships or friendships. Even if you do find a friend if you become more successful than them 99% of the time they will get jealous and try to bring you down. If your a hard worker you put effort into everything. It seems like I'm putting more effort in my relationships than others are. I don't even think others aren't because they don't like me but because they are just lazy. I find most people like this. I'm done. I'm honestly thinking of just getting a dog and working on myself and dying on my bed alone. Seriously. Anyone else feel like this?
 

robertwills

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Been feeling pessimistic about people lately. Most people sleep walk through life and aren't even aware the ways they are being hurtful or neglectful in relationships or friendships. Even if you do find a friend if you become more successful than them 99% of the time they will get jealous and try to bring you down. If your a hard worker you put effort into everything. It seems like I'm putting more effort in my relationships than others are. I don't even think others aren't because they don't like me but because they are just lazy. I find most people like this. I'm done. I'm honestly thinking of just getting a dog and working on myself and dying on my bed alone. Seriously. Anyone else feel like this?
I can relate. However, what I have found is that if you want friend(s) you need to "get out there" in the right places and you will find a like minded person(s). By right places I mean places where you like to be; things you like to do. Even then everyone has their own personalities and nothing is perfect. By "out there" I also mean online, although personally I don't find that the best way. This pandemic has made it very difficult to meet people physically.

I know someone who behaves in ways that are just unbelievable to me but they are very sociable. At any time they often have a friend or friends and these people are very much all alike. I would never hang out with these people.

Just "be around" and you'll connect with the right people if you want. I like being alone way more then being with others but when I am with people who I get along with, share similar values, etc.. then I really like it.
 

Xeon

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I only associated with people who were going to be absolutely on my side. It was that way with friends, girls, customers and employees.

Get used to the word "next". I say it internally every time I see too much negative behavior from someone.
.......
I've replaced countless friends, girls, customers and employees because I KNOW that there's awesome ones out there just waiting to meet me, and I'm going to find them.

When you keep nexting people, doesn't that end up with very few people in your life, and you constantly need to expend lots of energy and time to look for new ones?
 

Kevin88660

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The Op didn’t give clear examples on the context and we are just replying based on our imaginations.

Instead I am just going to be focused on my observations that could be relevant.

Very very few people will give the “leap of faith” on you.

Most people are around of you because you have something to offer. People will only believe you when you show them the result.

If you always pay for the drinks I am sure you will be surrounded by a group of “friends” very quickly. Then you can use that to facilitate whatever agenda you want to have later. Call it superficial as you like that’s how the world works.

How many of the employee and customers share the company founders’s dream? Employees are there because it pays their bills. Customers are there because it is the most value for money deal to solve their problem.

Jack Ma spent years in China Hustling sourcing for his investment for internet business. None of the Chinese businessmen invested in him. Most of them already made 8-9 digits net worth in the 90s in real estate, coal mining and manufacturing.

They were polite to Jack in front of him and laughed at him behind his back. Most never used a computer before and computer was known as a “a very fast calculator” to them. “Jack is a sincere hustler with a like able character, unfortunately he is also a con-artist who is trying to scam my money to invest in what “net” WTF...” They laughed at him as a clown.

His luck changed until he met Japanese business man Mashayoshi Son. It was rumored that Mashayoshi chose to invested him after speaking to him 20 minutes. “Jack is exactly the crazy young man with a vision like me years ago.”

When you started selling, friends run away, family members look down on you, the first one to trust you to your surprise could be a stranger-Jack Ma

The takeaway for me is that if you meet someone who is going to take a leap of faith on you, treat them well that could be one in a 1000.

The other lesson is that when you communicate and cooperate with others you have to “show them the money”, it is an essential skill you have to learn, an attitude you must expect. Because most are not goin to give you the leap of faith in you.
 

Roark666

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The Op didn’t give clear examples on the context and we are just replying based on our imaginations.

Instead I am just going to be focused on my observations that could be relevant.

Very very few people will give the “leap of faith” on you.

Most people are around of you because you have something to offer. People will only believe you when you show them the result.

If you always pay for the drinks I am sure you will be surrounded by a group of “friends” very quickly. Then you can use that to facilitate whatever agenda you want to have later. Call it superficial as you like that’s how the world works.

How many of the employee and customers share the company founders’s dream? Employees are there because it pays their bills. Customers are there because it is the most value for money deal to solve their problem.

Jack Ma spent years in China Hustling sourcing for his investment for internet business. None of the Chinese businessmen invested in him. Most of them already made 8-9 digits net worth in the 90s in real estate, coal mining and manufacturing.

They were polite to Jack in front of him and laughed at him behind his back. Most never used a computer before and computer was known as a “a very fast calculator” to them. “Jack is a sincere hustler with a like able character, unfortunately he is also a con-artist who is trying to scam my money to invest in what “net” WTF...” They laughed at him as a clown.

His luck changed until he met Japanese business man Mashayoshi Son. It was rumored that Mashayoshi chose to invested him after speaking to him 20 minutes. “Jack is exactly the crazy young man with a vision like me years ago.”

When you started selling, friends run away, family members look down on you, the first one to trust you to your surprise could be a stranger-Jack Ma

The takeaway for me is that if you meet someone who is going to take a leap of faith on you, treat them well that could be one in a 1000.

The other lesson is that when you communicate and cooperate with others you have to “show them the money”, it is an essential skill you have to learn, an attitude you must expect. Because most are not goin to give you the leap of faith in you.
Yup. Learned the hard way only you can rely on yourself and the dreams you have. Most will doubt you or try to bring you down.
 

Kevin88660

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Yup. Learned the hard way only you can rely on yourself and the dreams you have. Most will doubt you or try to bring you down.
Yes and when you become successful they will be lining up to tell you “They know you can do it a long time ago...”.
 

robertwills

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Sep 9, 2020
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The Op didn’t give clear examples on the context and we are just replying based on our imaginations.

Instead I am just going to be focused on my observations that could be relevant.

Very very few people will give the “leap of faith” on you.

Most people are around of you because you have something to offer. People will only believe you when you show them the result.

If you always pay for the drinks I am sure you will be surrounded by a group of “friends” very quickly. Then you can use that to facilitate whatever agenda you want to have later. Call it superficial as you like that’s how the world works.

How many of the employee and customers share the company founders’s dream? Employees are there because it pays their bills. Customers are there because it is the most value for money deal to solve their problem.

Jack Ma spent years in China Hustling sourcing for his investment for internet business. None of the Chinese businessmen invested in him. Most of them already made 8-9 digits net worth in the 90s in real estate, coal mining and manufacturing.

They were polite to Jack in front of him and laughed at him behind his back. Most never used a computer before and computer was known as a “a very fast calculator” to them. “Jack is a sincere hustler with a like able character, unfortunately he is also a con-artist who is trying to scam my money to invest in what “net” WTF...” They laughed at him as a clown.

His luck changed until he met Japanese business man Mashayoshi Son. It was rumored that Mashayoshi chose to invested him after speaking to him 20 minutes. “Jack is exactly the crazy young man with a vision like me years ago.”

When you started selling, friends run away, family members look down on you, the first one to trust you to your surprise could be a stranger-Jack Ma

The takeaway for me is that if you meet someone who is going to take a leap of faith on you, treat them well that could be one in a 1000.

The other lesson is that when you communicate and cooperate with others you have to “show them the money”, it is an essential skill you have to learn, an attitude you must expect. Because most are not goin to give you the leap of faith in you.
 

robertwills

New Contributor
Sep 9, 2020
25
15
14
Atlanta, GA
The Op didn’t give clear examples on the context and we are just replying based on our imaginations.

Instead I am just going to be focused on my observations that could be relevant.

Very very few people will give the “leap of faith” on you.

Most people are around of you because you have something to offer. People will only believe you when you show them the result.

If you always pay for the drinks I am sure you will be surrounded by a group of “friends” very quickly. Then you can use that to facilitate whatever agenda you want to have later. Call it superficial as you like that’s how the world works.

How many of the employee and customers share the company founders’s dream? Employees are there because it pays their bills. Customers are there because it is the most value for money deal to solve their problem.

Jack Ma spent years in China Hustling sourcing for his investment for internet business. None of the Chinese businessmen invested in him. Most of them already made 8-9 digits net worth in the 90s in real estate, coal mining and manufacturing.

They were polite to Jack in front of him and laughed at him behind his back. Most never used a computer before and computer was known as a “a very fast calculator” to them. “Jack is a sincere hustler with a like able character, unfortunately he is also a con-artist who is trying to scam my money to invest in what “net” WTF...” They laughed at him as a clown.

His luck changed until he met Japanese business man Mashayoshi Son. It was rumored that Mashayoshi chose to invested him after speaking to him 20 minutes. “Jack is exactly the crazy young man with a vision like me years ago.”

When you started selling, friends run away, family members look down on you, the first one to trust you to your surprise could be a stranger-Jack Ma

The takeaway for me is that if you meet someone who is going to take a leap of faith on you, treat them well that could be one in a 1000.

The other lesson is that when you communicate and cooperate with others you have to “show them the money”, it is an essential skill you have to learn, an attitude you must expect. Because most are not goin to give you the leap of faith in you.
In my experience it's more complex then that. It depends on a lot of factors. However, I met a billionaire and other prominent people by simply being engaged in business on my own. They could see my strengths that I could not.

Here's where complexity comes in: One president of a company tried to "throw my under the bus". but did not succeed because he wasn't smart enough to carry it through successfully. One very smart top sales executive tried to cleverly bamboozle me but I while I was not "smarter" I was much more diligent than he obviously thought. One business owner didn't pay me on a transaction we had a contract on. I really needed that money. I knew who his customer was who was involved. I knew they also did very well on the transaction. I called the customer and when the owners heard my story of not getting paid they paid me! Honorable people do exist.

The moral of the stories is that you have to go forward, do your best, be very vigilant and you will find the right contacts - trustworthy, competent and make you feel good about yourself. The same works for finding true friends.
 

MJ DeMarco

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I have to disagree with some statements on this post that "people are good" or that "generally people are good".

No.

People typically are selfish, immature, bad decision makers, won't admit when they are wrong, and sheep. Most are also closed minded and can't think for themselves. That mix doesn't equal out to "good" or being good most times.

Amen.

Most humans are blind sheep, incapable of questioning whatever the television tells them.

nwo.png

You'd think we were in an enlightened age, but I assure you we aren't. The Milgram Experiment is a prime example, 200 years ago, 100 years ago, 50 years ago, and 5 months ago... it doesn't matter. Humans haven't changed in centuries and are still puppets to their lizard brains and whatever they see fit to feed it. (Case in point: Smartphone addiction).

 

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I have to disagree with some statements on this post that "people are good" or that "generally people are good".

No.

People typically are selfish, immature, bad decision makers, won't admit when they are wrong, and sheep. Most are also closed minded and can't think for themselves. That mix doesn't equal out to "good" or being good most times.

That leaves a small amount of people that are not that. Or are at different levels of those stages who might be "bearable".

Finding the "gems" or the "awesome people" or the real "friends" then becomes very difficult. But like all great things in this world, nothing is easy.

It's part of the reason divorce is so high now days. Why finding good business partners is so hard. Why workplaces are so toxic at many employers. Why so many people have 1,000's of social media "friends" but in real life have less than 5.

The world is a pretty shitty place the majority of the time. The world = people.

Don't believe me? Try being homeless for 90 days or more. Sure you run across some gems, but what's the majority treating you like?

I've adopted a policy personally that you have to earn your way into my circle for friendship or a relationship. Earning to me probably isn't what it is to you though. This is how I find awesome people.

Trust me, the gate is narrow folks.

You must be the life of the party
 

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Primeperiwinkle

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Having a clear understanding of the majority helps one to treasure the minority much more intensely.

Furthermore, knowing what most people act like does not prohibit one from forgiving them for those acts.

The OP would be wise from studying forgiveness and disentangling himself from such negative emotions while also developing boundaries that lead to the formation of mutually giving relationships.
 

Longlong

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Furthermore, knowing what most people act like does not prohibit one from forgiving them for those acts.

To add...most "bad" people are unintentionally that way. They just don't know any better. So the saying "generally people are good" means in general people want to be good. And for the "minority", it's our responsibility to spread goodness, not hoard it in our little circles (this does not mean you should not have strong boundaries) and cast judgement down on others.
 

eliquid

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You must be the life of the party

Could be, but then again I don't concern myself with what other people think of me.

Especially at parties full of people that would want to even "think of me" to begin with.
 

eliquid

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To add...most "bad" people are unintentionally that way. They just don't know any better. So the saying "generally people are good" means in general people want to be good. And for the "minority", it's our responsibility to spread goodness, not hoard it in our little circles (this does not mean you should not have strong boundaries) and cast judgement down on others.
Who said it was the minorities responsibility?

Who said it was judgment being passed?

Sounds like scripted talk.
 

Primeperiwinkle

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To add...most "bad" people are unintentionally that way. They just don't know any better. So the saying "generally people are good" means in general people want to be good. And for the "minority", it's our responsibility to spread goodness, not hoard it in our little circles (this does not mean you should not have strong boundaries) and cast judgement down on others.
The majority of ppl enjoy thinking of themselves as good but do not go to the trouble of questioning their understanding of the term.

As for hoarding.. lol. Real goodness multiplies. It spreads exponentially. But, at the end of the day, it is the minority in different places pushing and working and bubbling over in passion which then gets caught by new people and carried to other places - to create another strong, solid core of productivity. Family.
 

eliquid

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To add...most "bad" people are unintentionally that way. They just don't know any better. So the saying "generally people are good" means in general people want to be good

I get what you're saying.

But unintentional or not, does it matter?

If they WANT to be good, but still ACT and DO bad, does it matter?

-

I'm sure the convicted pedophile down the street really wants to be good.

Does that mean I'm allowing my daughters to start a relationship with him. A friendship maybe?

Does that mean I going to do it? Allow them a bit into my world and privacy?

Yeah, don't think so.

The world doesn't care what you want. Why?

Because it's full of the type of people I explained earlier about in my post that you are trying to defend. So wanting doesn't count for anything. It's the action in the end.

I'm sure the 5x known homewrecker my wife knows would really like to do good. Wants to do good. Would you think my wife should start a relationship with her/friendship with her? Hint: Prob not.

The world doesn't care what anyone wants.

Want = who cares.

If the old saying is true, "you are the sum of the 5 people you hang around most", then I'm trying to NOT hang around people that are making mistakes and causing issues and doing the things I pointed out above earlier.

.
 

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Haha I keep a notebook with quotes I love and this thread reminds me of this Shakespeare quote:

“All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.”
 

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