Fvck relationships and friendships

[eliquid]

You're right. When I go back to my high school reunions, it's shocking that people haven't changed that much! But, I have. I have gone further and done more in my life than I could have ever dreamed when I was going to school with them. And it's my secret. I don't share my success with my former classmates. It's none of their business and they wouldn't understand my choices and my life. I like to fly under the radar. When they ask what I'm doing, I simply tell them the broader truth -- I'm retired. I hear what is happening with people through the Facebook site, and nothing has changed with most of them -- and it never will.

There was a guy in my class who made it a point to post on our high school website his "impressive" career title. Actually other former students did that as well. Why do they do that? To me it seems it has no value other then to make that person feel good about themselves. Shouldn't they feel that way if they got the impressive title?

Trying to impress others is SO silly. They will tell you how well you've done and then hate you for it. (It's like being too smart.) It usually starts with: you're a liar-- you can't really be telling the truth; you were just lucky; you won the lottery; you married into it; it's a passing moment and tomorrow you'll be broke again; you cheated -- because no one can gain success without cheating... ; and list goes on. I gave up long ago trying to tell people how to make it work... that I carefully planned my path, move by move. I made adjustment as necessary. And then I got up every morning and I cheerfully worked my plan. While they were partying, I was working and going to school. While they were on their expensive vacations I was doing charity work and taking care of the people that I love. Even today, I'm no good at being retired So I get up every morning and I go to work. I'm still in my office as this Saturday afternoon waning into evening, finishing up things for the day. How can ever explain that sense of drive and lifestyle to people who have never lived it????

Here's the bottom line -- who in the world do I need to impress at the point in my life? Frankly, in this moment I just don't give a damn.

You all are actually proving my points here LOL. You all see the same I do and admit it.

I say people are selfish and self centered. People dont change from this.

Then you say the exact same things in your ongoing posts. I posted them above so you can see.
We agree and are saying the same things.

However, you feel that for some reasons I ( or others that agree with me ) need to improve ourselves. Like something is wrong with us. When in my accounts and your own, the other people are the ones that are exactly as I said before.

The world is full of shitty in both of our stories. I used your own words above to prove so.

But, for some reason... you feel the issue is with "us" the people that agree with what you and I are saying.
I feel however, the issue with "them".

And because of this, you all go into how people like me need to uplift ourselves and make ourselves happy and be energetic and provide value.

Who says I am not already that. If I have a negative view of people outside my circle, why can't I be happy and provide value to others and be energetic?

Just like you @WJK , Im not telling people what I do ( its none of their business ) and none of those people from high school change. I fly under the radar, it's none of their business. Nothing changes with those people and never would.

^^ Me and you agree on this. You used those words yourself. And gee, I wonder why you feel like you can't talk to them about yourself, maybe it's because you think negative of them, because of what I said that affirms it?

You already said you can't believe you went to school with them. Its none of their business. They wouldnt understand. You are not sharing your success with them. They won't change.

I have drive and work passion and all the same stuff as you.

So we agree on all points, but no I don't have to change my view to be happy, successful, energetic, avoid toxic people, and live a good life.

What worked for you, isn't medicine for us all. Some of get by just as good as yourself, without that view.

Stop pushing that something "must be sad" with us or wrong and that we need to uplift ourselves.

I didn't share my thoughts because Im some sad cuck. I shared them because some people on this forum have an imaginary view that the world outside is like Disney Land.

You can know and live reality, as still be happy.

 

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[Kevin88660]

Yes and no. Let's be real here. Most people are idiots and are sheep that will follow the crowd. Case in point. If a sports team loses a lot most fans will either stop following them or be depressed. If a business is ablut to fail watch all the employees quit and get a better job. People aren't as loyal as we want them to be. They go with the winner. Same with women. If you lose your job or become a general loser they will not stick around and go for something better. It's human nature and no ideological view will change that. I've tried to be mr positive but it's a fairy tale. People are mean and selfish and will kick you if your down if they have the power to (not everyone but most will)

The word “selfish” in my dictionary is a neutral word, a simple state of fact of human nature.

Come on. Isn’t our entire civilization, laws, regulation and economic incentive built upon that assumption?

The attitude that turns people off is being self-centered or entitlement, expecting others to serve their own agenda without offering anything in return.

If a boss is expecting his staffs to stay while he cannot afford to maintain the paycheck, and if a boyfriend became a loser and expecting his gf to stay with him despite her having better option, probably it is the boss and the bf feeling entitled...such an irony.

Well maybe the staffs will stay, and the girl does not leave, most likely the boss and bf in the hypothetical examples have done many things right before and have treated others well. I just think there is no free lunch...

 

[WJK]

You all are actually proving my points here LOL. You all see the same I do and admit it.

I say people are selfish and self centered. People dont change from this.

Then you say the exact same things in your ongoing posts. I posted them above so you can see.
We agree and are saying the same things.

However, you feel that for some reasons I ( or others that agree with me ) need to improve ourselves. Like something is wrong with us. When in my accounts and your own, the other people are the ones that are exactly as I said before.

The world is full of shitty in both of our stories. I used your own words above to prove so.

But, for some reason... you feel the issue is with "us" the people that agree with what you and I are saying.
I feel however, the issue with "them".

And because of this, you all go into how people like me need to uplift ourselves and make ourselves happy and be energetic and provide value.

Who says I am not already that. If I have a negative view of people outside my circle, why can't I be happy and provide value to others and be energetic?

Just like you @WJK , Im not telling people what I do ( its none of their business ) and none of those people from high school change. I fly under the radar, it's none of their business. Nothing changes with those people and never would.

^^ Me and you agree on this. You used those words yourself. And gee, I wonder why you feel like you can't talk to them about yourself, maybe it's because you think negative of them, because of what I said that affirms it?

You already said you can't believe you went to school with them. Its none of their business. They wouldnt understand. You are not sharing your success with them. They won't change.

I have drive and work passion and all the same stuff as you.

So we agree on all points, but no I don't have to change my view to be happy, successful, energetic, avoid toxic people, and live a good life.

What worked for you, isn't medicine for us all. Some of get by just as good as yourself, without that view.

Stop pushing that something "must be sad" with us or wrong and that we need to uplift ourselves.

I didn't share my thoughts because Im some sad cuck. I shared them because some people on this forum have an imaginary view that the world outside is like Disney Land.

You can know and live reality, as still be happy.

If you're happy with your attitude, then carry on. Sorry to have bothered you...

 

[WJK]

I like how I talk about how people are mostly bad and that:

People typically are selfish, immature, bad decision makers, won't admit when they are wrong, and sheep. Most are also closed minded and can't think for themselves. That mix doesn't equal out to "good" or being good most times.

That leaves a small amount of people that are not that. Or are at different levels of those stages who might be "bearable".

Finding the "gems" or the "awesome people" or the real "friends" then becomes very difficult. But like all great things in this world, nothing is easy.

I mentioned there are gems out there, right. You might be one of them.

But then you went on to affirm what I said with

Before, no one would take the kids -- only adult women

and that the people you take in are mean to you.

You argue back that we need to find good in others, and then dive into a story about yourself. Proving my about about selfishness and self interest. You didn't even make a valid argument back... just a story about you and you helping people, which doesn't change the "bad people" around you out in the world.

All you did was go in a nonsense circle about you.

Just because you did a nice thing and have a nice outlook... nothing happened to the other people I am talking about. They wouldn't even help kids before you stepped in. What does that tell you about our default nature?

.

I'm not sure it's our "default nature". Yes, we each have a shadow, but I try to bring out the best in people. That better side of them brings happiness and peace to that person and their space here on earth. It's not about me and making me feel good. It's about creating a sense of peace and well being around me. I try to pay forward. Most of the stuff I do is done quietly and privately. I believe that the way to change the world is for each of us to clean up our own little corner. It's like throwing a stone into a still pond. The ripples from throwing that one stone can go from shore to shore. What's scary about that concept is -- what if I had created a bad cause rather than doing something kind? The bad results can be just a far-reaching. Sometimes there is no right answer -- only a choice. I try to choose wisely with the people around me in mind.

Yes, sometimes people that I have helped kick me in the shins. So, I walk away. I have a guy right now that I gave a 10-day notice to yesterday. He either straightens out his living habits or I will file an eviction against him. This guy was homeless and he just moved in. He's had both of his feet amputated due to sugar diabetes. He's sitting in his wheelchair being willfully defiant. It took me and 4 agencies to get him housing, and he's still misbehaving. OK. He wasn't ready to be helped. We gambled and we may lose this bet. And that's OK with me. It's his choice, not mine. He either follows the rules or he doesn't. (And yes, they're my rules.) I talked to the 4 agencies involved yesterday and they will back me 100%. I must watch out for the other 150 people who live here and make sure that they are safe -- I'm looking out for the "Greater Good". I'm their line in the sand. So the neighbors, my tenants, are helping me to watch the guy in the wheelchair. No, his doper friends with their long rap sheets are not welcome here. It's a group effort to keep us all safe -- I'm the leader of the pack.

 

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[ShepardHumphries]

Yes, most people suck.

I enjoy finding the 1% or 2% who are worthy of friendship or even acquaintanceship, and I love helping the other 98% become worthy. It is a fun pastime while living in this anthill.

 

[WJK]

Yes, most people suck.

I enjoy finding the 1% or 2% who are worthy of friendship or even acquaintanceship, and I love helping the other 98% become worthy. It is a fun pastime while living in this anthill.

Yes, there's your inner circle and then the people that you know out there...