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Roark666

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Aug 6, 2020
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Be honest, you only care about yourself.
It's clear from your forum content.
You've only commented on threads you started & even then you hardly reply.
You've not interacted on any other thread, not even liked any posts on gold threads.
What have you been doing on this forum?
Other than trying to "cherry pick members," which got your thread locked by MJ himself.
Lmao dude what's your deal? You seem very negative. Why are you coming on me like this? Something wrong?
 

dilooska

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I can totally relate to this post, as I've felt similar not long ago. The solution I found was:

  1. Remove everyone from my life who don't bring value to me or don't appreciate the value I bring to them. (This was the hardest step because it meant being alone for a while.)
  2. Consciously work on myself and be the best version of me, so that I can attract my dream friends/ partner.
  3. Consciously look for ways to attract them. One simple thing I did was I shared a post here and people reached out to me and guess what! I made new good friends.
Last but not the least, take this seriously!
Your create your own reality, so this is just another limiting belief. It's true that most people lack self-esteem and aren't true friends, but not all people are like that.

Feel free to reach out if you wanna have a chat!
 

thechosen1

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I don’t think the replies are helping; they are probably just alienating you more.
The truth is, people are imperfect. You should read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius... people will let you down - that’s life. But without people, life is meaningless. So you have to learn to value imperfect people!
And eventually, you’ll realize you’re one of them.
 

Roark666

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I don’t think the replies are helping; they are probably just alienating you more.
The truth is, people are imperfect. You should read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius... people will let you down - that’s life. But without people, life is meaningless. So you have to learn to value imperfect people!
And eventually, you’ll realize you’re one of them.
I'm far from perfect. In fact I'm sure some friends have thought that way about me. It's just that I've been let down so many times as every human like they said is imperfect. Maybe I don't know how to form strong relationships. A business, your body, your life I can do and know how to create success. But relationships? I don't know how. What if on my end I am doing everythi g right and give but the other person just takes? Other people are too rand to put my happiness on them. At least with a dog you can always know it'll love you unconditionally
 

thechosen1

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I'm far from perfect. In fact I'm sure some friends have thought that way about me. It's just that I've been let down so many times as every human like they said is imperfect. Maybe I don't know how to form strong relationships. A business, your body, your life I can do and know how to create success. But relationships? I don't know how. What if on my end I am doing everythi g right and give but the other person just takes? Other people are too rand to put my happiness on them. At least with a dog you can always know it'll love you unconditionally
Read the book I mentioned. You’re describing a problem as old as humanity. You can fix your thinking
 

loop101

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Been feeling pessimistic about people lately. Most people sleep walk through life and aren't even aware the ways they are being hurtful or neglectful in relationships or friendships. Even if you do find a friend if you become more successful than them 99% of the time they will get jealous and try to bring you down. If your a hard worker you put effort into everything. It seems like I'm putting more effort in my relationships than others are. I don't even think others aren't because they don't like me but because they are just lazy. I find most people like this. I'm done. I'm honestly thinking of just getting a dog and working on myself and dying on my bed alone. Seriously. Anyone else feel like this?

Ok, then get a dog.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZH8zcJUH1M&feature=youtu.be&t=52
 

Tuvo Apps

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There's awesome people who will support you and think you're the shit. They'll make life awesome

There's terrible people who will backstab you, make you feel like crap, and tell you that you suck. They'll make life a little worse.

What makes you think that you deserve to have the awesome people in your life?

Please correnct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that merely ignoring the problem? If some people tell you that you suck, you can cut them off and find the ones that support you. But what if the "evil" person is right? They must have a reason to tell you that you suck, after all. What if you actually suck? I think it's better to try and solve that problem, rather than avoiding it.

Most people I met troughout my life thought I suck, even the ones that were friends with other people (so they weren't necessarily evil). What's more, I tend to think that the people who don't like you have more value than those who like you (because if they don't like you, they must be better than you, and thus would make good friends - bring more value to your life).

Maybe my approach is flawed, but I decided to work on myself, until I get to the point where I'm able to make friends with those high-value people.
 

S.Y.

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I'm far from perfect. In fact I'm sure some friends have thought that way about me. It's just that I've been let down so many times as every human like they said is imperfect. Maybe I don't know how to form strong relationships. A business, your body, your life I can do and know how to create success. But relationships? I don't know how. What if on my end I am doing everythi g right and give but the other person just takes? Other people are too rand to put my happiness on them. At least with a dog you can always know it'll love you unconditionally

The issue is right there. You are looking for happiness in people. You are not really looking to build relationships, you are looking for approval.

"What if on my end I am doing everythi g right and give but the other person just takes?". You take pleasure in giving. And you move on.

Question @Roark666, what's wrong with just giving? The theme in your posts on this thread is: "if I give, I should get something in return. If I don't, I should not give".

And actually, aren't you "taking" from the forum now without "giving" in return for the answers here?
 

Roark666

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What makes you think that you deserve to have the awesome people in your life?

Please correnct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that merely ignoring the problem? If some people tell you that you suck, you can cut them off and find the ones that support you. But what if the "evil" person is right? They must have a reason to tell you that you suck, after all. What if you actually suck? I think it's better to try and solve that problem, rather than avoiding it.

Most people I met troughout my life thought I suck, even the ones that were friends with other people (so they weren't necessarily evil). What's more, I tend to think that the people who don't like you have more value than those who like you (because if they don't like you, they must be better than you, and thus would make good friends - bring more value to your life).

Maybe my approach is flawed, but I decided to work on myself, until I get to the point where I'm able to make friends with those high-value people.
wow.
 

Roark666

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The issue is right there. You are looking for happiness in people. You are not really looking to build relationships, you are looking for approval.

"What if on my end I am doing everythi g right and give but the other person just takes?". You take pleasure in giving. And you move on.

Question @Roark666, what's wrong with just giving? The theme in your posts on this thread is: "if I give, I should get something in return. If I don't, I should not give".

And actually, aren't you "taking" from the forum now without "giving" in return for the answers here?
relationships should be a two way street. I get the joy of giving and whenever i do give i dont expect anything in return. But whats the point of just giving when the other person just takes without reciprocating. It is like putting water in a bucket with a hole in the bottom.
 

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SteveO

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Can you fill me in on the meaning of your forum name?
 

BellaPippin

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Mind inviting me to the what's app group? Been looking for something like that

I believe the general group is for summit attenders since we know each other in person...also I'm not in the general one so I can't invite. Start forging relationships here first, people get together for accountability buddies and calls all the time!
 

S.Y.

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relationships should be a two way street. I get the joy of giving and whenever i do give i dont expect anything in return. But whats the point of just giving when the other person just takes without reciprocating. It is like putting water in a bucket with a hole in the bottom.

Wait. What?

If you give without expecting anything in return... Then why do you care of people don't reciprocate?

If you get the joy in giving, then that is the point.

What you are saying is

... you prefer to forgo the joy that comes from just giving, because people don't give back??
 

DiamondDog

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You seem to have an immature view of the world.

Most people are good. You're probably self conscious and get butthurt over nothing and everything.
 

NewManRising

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I'm with you but not so pessimistic. Just disappointed with some people (mainly people close to me). I never was really close with family (and that hurts) so I have always looked outward for those social and emotional needs but have largely had this need unfulfilled.

I think a big part of it is that I have not stayed in an area long enough to really get to know anyone. Plus, the current city I live in is a smaller city. The other part is the type of "friends" I go for. Basically, everything you describe is my experience with people and that is why I say I am disappointed. It's disappointing that so many people are satisfied with a mediocre life.

People think they have a lot but in reality, they have very little if nothing at all. I'm not a demanding person. I am pretty simple, loyal, fun, and smart. I just wish I could find others who are the same. I'm considering moving back to a larger city for the sake of finding friends and increasing my job/business opportunities.

Currently, I am isolating a bit but it's not entirely my choice (lockdowns). But I have been looking for meetup groups and have attended a few Al Anon Zoom meetings.
 

WJK

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Been feeling pessimistic about people lately. Most people sleep walk through life and aren't even aware the ways they are being hurtful or neglectful in relationships or friendships. Even if you do find a friend if you become more successful than them 99% of the time they will get jealous and try to bring you down. If your a hard worker you put effort into everything. It seems like I'm putting more effort in my relationships than others are. I don't even think others aren't because they don't like me but because they are just lazy. I find most people like this. I'm done. I'm honestly thinking of just getting a dog and working on myself and dying on my bed alone. Seriously. Anyone else feel like this?
This is a very hard lesson that comes as a growing pain. When most people hit this social wall, they quit striving. They can't stand the social rejection.

It goes like this... when a guy gets promoted, his past pals reject him both at work and socially. He doesn't fit in. They don't invite him out for beers anymore. If he shows up they quit talking and it's a very awkward moment. Everyone gets up and leaves or the guy who got the promotion leaves. They have a vested interest in pulling that guy back down to their level.

My father had an interesting saying that applies here. "Water finds its own level." In other words, this too shall pass. You're in a awkward moment where you don't fit into your old crowd and you haven't proved yourself enough to fit into the level that you are achieving.

So, here my advice for your discomfort. Work on yourself and your program. Be kind to people who are trying to pull you down. They are green-eyed-jealous. They don't see the work and the planning that has gone into you making your moves. They don't see the failures and the cost that you have paid. If they could see your path and emulate you, they would be doing it. You can afford to be thoughtful and kind. That does NOT imply that you should stop your program or let them derail you. Keep going.

If you must have love and attention right now, get a big, slobbery dog. That dog will be happy to see no matter what kind of day you have. By the way, the air is thin and it's rather lonely at the top.
 

blueyedgibson

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I have more than a few meaningful, satisfying relationships; I've put myself in unique life circumstances where I have contact with interesting people who are committed to bettering themselves.

Do more interesting, meaningful things and you'll find yourself surrounded by a different calibre of people.
I agree with Tom H, and surrounding yourself with a different caliber of people can be beneficial in all aspects of life. It took a paradigm shift for me to realize this.
 

Phil Yu

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Wow, Your post hit the nail on the head for me. This is why i spend time on here as well. After looking through several communities i hang out with, I too find more like minded people on here.


Adding to everyone else who has gave good responses, I have 3 things to share.
1 practice positivity and empathy
2. Being selective with who and where you spent your time.
3. Keep on exploring different community to gain more life reference and experience.
 

Roark666

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I agree with Tom H, and surrounding yourself with a different caliber of people can be beneficial in all aspects of life. It took a paradigm shift for me to realize this.
I know but honestly I prefer to be alone now. Not from a place of bitterness but ultimately from a place of self fufillment and improvement. I have been around so many people who are very short sighted and blinded by the false gods that life so abundantly provides and it has effected my mind and soul at times which i regret.
 

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Cyberthal

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Wall Street Playboy had good points about this, and agreed with the general sentiment, but also had ways to mitigate it. Read his book "Efficiency".

He doesn't address family. Charles Darwin does. If you neglect it, your naturally evolved emotions will punish you later in life. I recommend reading the Epic of Gilgamesh and the Bible, in that order, to understand why family is important. That said, marriage 2.0 under Western divorce laws is not traditional marriage, but a sucker's slavery.
 

Thinh

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Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you are withholding from the world.

Translation: if you feel your friends don't care about you, that probably means you don't really care about them.
I suggest you reading two books:
- The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle
- How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie.
 

Roark666

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Aug 6, 2020
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Los Angeles
Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you are withholding from the world.

Translation: if you feel your friends don't care about you, that probably means you don't really care about them.
I suggest you reading two books:
- The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle
- How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie.
No. If I add into a relationship and the person isnt reciprocating back f*ck em. To be honest the reason i dont like relationships is because one part of it is totally out of my control. I can succeed completely on my end but if the other person is too caught up in their personal bs or rationalizations and failure the relationship is a failure.
 

eliquid

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I have to disagree with some statements on this post that "people are good" or that "generally people are good".

No.

People typically are selfish, immature, bad decision makers, won't admit when they are wrong, and sheep. Most are also closed minded and can't think for themselves. That mix doesn't equal out to "good" or being good most times.

That leaves a small amount of people that are not that. Or are at different levels of those stages who might be "bearable".

Finding the "gems" or the "awesome people" or the real "friends" then becomes very difficult. But like all great things in this world, nothing is easy.

It's part of the reason divorce is so high now days. Why finding good business partners is so hard. Why workplaces are so toxic at many employers. Why so many people have 1,000's of social media "friends" but in real life have less than 5.

The world is a pretty shitty place the majority of the time. The world = people.

Don't believe me? Try being homeless for 90 days or more. Sure you run across some gems, but what's the majority treating you like?

I've adopted a policy personally that you have to earn your way into my circle for friendship or a relationship. Earning to me probably isn't what it is to you though. This is how I find awesome people.

Trust me, the gate is narrow folks.
 

BarKogan$

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Been feeling pessimistic about people lately. Most people sleep walk through life and aren't even aware the ways they are being hurtful or neglectful in relationships or friendships. Even if you do find a friend if you become more successful than them 99% of the time they will get jealous and try to bring you down. If your a hard worker you put effort into everything. It seems like I'm putting more effort in my relationships than others are. I don't even think others aren't because they don't like me but because they are just lazy. I find most people like this. I'm done. I'm honestly thinking of just getting a dog and working on myself and dying on my bed alone. Seriously. Anyone else feel like this?
I can really relate with you with those thoughts.. let me know if you figure out a way to get out of this loop please..
 

ExaltedLife

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Been feeling pessimistic about people lately. Most people sleep walk through life and aren't even aware the ways they are being hurtful or neglectful in relationships or friendships. Even if you do find a friend if you become more successful than them 99% of the time they will get jealous and try to bring you down. If your a hard worker you put effort into everything. It seems like I'm putting more effort in my relationships than others are. I don't even think others aren't because they don't like me but because they are just lazy. I find most people like this. I'm done. I'm honestly thinking of just getting a dog and working on myself and dying on my bed alone. Seriously. Anyone else feel like this?
Its funny because I disagree with you; I think people are amazing. But then again I have very few friends, and about a billion acquaintences that I keep at arms length.

Think about this though - how many amazing things have been invented, built, created?

Lots right?

How many of those things were created by you?

Ohhh shit, looks like the whole "people are f*cked" paradigm is all in your head eh.

Focus on finding good things and maybe you'll see them.
 

James Klymus

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Been feeling pessimistic about people lately. Most people sleep walk through life and aren't even aware the ways they are being hurtful or neglectful in relationships or friendships. Even if you do find a friend if you become more successful than them 99% of the time they will get jealous and try to bring you down. If your a hard worker you put effort into everything. It seems like I'm putting more effort in my relationships than others are. I don't even think others aren't because they don't like me but because they are just lazy. I find most people like this. I'm done. I'm honestly thinking of just getting a dog and working on myself and dying on my bed alone. Seriously. Anyone else feel like this?
Would you like to have more friends and people in your life? Some people just don't like people that much, and they do well on their own, and don't have much desire for more friends.

On the other hand, if you're craving connection with people, but just can't seem to find it then maybe you should take a little break like you said. Because if you see patterns in your life, like putting more effort into relationships than the people you want to cultivate a relationship with, it could be something to do with you.

Looking back at this post:

I have one more month of rent and food left. I recently moved and looked for a quick job and got a job offer but the pay is incredibly shit ($18 an hour). I was thinking not taking the job would light a fuel under my a$$ because if i were to take the job I would be too comfortable with my position in the job. What do you guys think? Should I just take the job? How do I make sure I'm not complacent?

I'm being genuine with you, and not trying to put you down, I speak from my own experience here. If you're one month away from being homeless and starving, you have bigger problems than making more friends. In my opinion, you should get some stability, think about what you want to do with your life, and start going after it. Again not trying to be mean here, but people aren't going to want to befriend you if you're about to be homeless and starve. You don't have much value to offer people, it seems like, right now. It's okay, you gotta start somewhere. But people want to be friends with people who they find some sort of value in.

Also, work on the pessimistic attitude. If you believe people will bring you down for being successful, you'll never be successful. People WANT to be around successful people, not around people who complain and don't have their life in order.

Seriously, the universe isn't against you, and neither are people. You just have to face the reality that people want to be around people they find value in. Men and women. If you're finding people aren't treating you well and reciprocating, it's time to build some value in your own life, and have your own thing going on. People will want to be apart of it if it's cool.

I'm honestly thinking of just getting a dog and working on myself and dying on my bed alone. Seriously. Anyone else feel like this?
Nah man I don't feel like this. There's too much life to live. If you feel this way all the time, I would go to a doctor and maybe get on antidepressants. You don't have to take them forever, but maybe it'll get you out of this rut.

In the meantime, try going to the gym, eat well and sleep well. Ease off the drugs if you take any.

I really hope this advice helps you, we care about you here in this community. Keep us updated.
 

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