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Despite All My Rage I'm STILL Trapped Like a Rat In A Cage - Advice/ Help Needed

A post of a ranting nature...

FLTechGuy

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Hello, I just want to say thank you for taking the time to read this, it is difficult for me to put myself out there but I'm not sure what else to do

I’ve read both Millionaire Fastlane and Unscripted . I keep re-reading both of them but I keep spinning my tires and I find I'm stuck with issues that I'm trying to work through but I keep hitting a brick wall and there has to be a solution, another way. I think because I am so burned out from the burden of my job and health stuff, and that my head has been in it so long I cannot see the solution.

The key problem is my health. I have a job that has excellent health care but it doesn’t meet my financial goals and most of all I want freedom so I can enjoy what I have left of my life. Also my job is now negatively affecting my health as the building I work in has severe mold issues. Every day I go to work my face turns red I get headaches and severely tired. I am fully ready for a FTE but my health insurance and mortgage payments stop me.

Some backstory... my health; I spent my entire 30’s being in and out of emergency rooms and operating rooms. In ‘06 I started my computer repair biz, got it incorporated in July, already had clients in Nov. I was getting ready to advertise my biz on billboards and at my main job that same month I fell down a flight of stairs while carrying a PC, the irony. Tore my shoulder had to have it operated on twice over the next two years. Early 2009 discovered a huge ascending aortic aneurysm (caused by antibiotics) had to have open heart surgery and now have to take expensive name brand blood thinners and other heart meds for life as the generics don't work. I also had to have other operations as well. I now have an abdominal aortic aneurysm that may take me out or I may not make it through surgery. All of this killed my PC biz. Due to lifting restrictions I had to abandon it before it got going and due to my job I have no interest in fixing pc’s anymore I've been doing it 20 years and just the sight of a Windows PC stresses me out.

I tried slinging shirts on several platforms but just ended up spending tons of money on designs that never sold and now on the main platform I use they constantly change the rules and give you 30 days or less to modify thousands of listings while providing no tool to bulk download all the listings and change them. In addition I have to check for frivolous trademarks constantly for new and even existing designs, constantly file DMCA takedowns on copycats (as I lose sales whenever copies appear). It has caused way to much stress, costed way too much time input vs reward. In a nutshell to me it’s an unsustainable business model IMHO and it’s someone else’s playground and rules so it’s really not a business. I also sell mugs on these platforms as well but I'm making only 10-15% of the price of it after the platform takes their cut, manufacturing, shipping and ad costs.

I’m currently 44, I feel completely trapped, I want freedom, I had the OHS a decade ago to save my life and yet I ask myself for what? To live a scripted life of mediocrity? All I have done is pissed it away in this job that means nothing and on fruitless pursuits. I want out, I want to start something, anything. I feel the clock is ticking down on me all the time (the constant physical reminder from my metal heart valve does not help), leading to overwhelm and feeling like I've just wasted my life away and continue to do so. I don’t have 10 or 20 years to build something successful as its unlikely I’ll be around that long, if I am great but I doubt it given my health track history.

I am willing to put in the work but I just don’t know what I can get started in that can generate enough money that I can fund my own top of the line health care plan and/or where I have enough money that health bills become irrelevant. I have looked at solving problems like becoming a Print on Demand manufacturer for sellers or making custom products using CNC machines or Laser engravers but that may be a really stupid idea. I have about $5,000 from my shirt sales that I can put into a new business. I’m not looking for handouts or pity just some direction or actionable suggestions or even types of businesses to look into as there may be a type of business I am not aware of. Thank you for your time.
 
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BlokeInProgress

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I am sorry to hear about the situation you are in right now when it comes to your health. Personally, I struggled with my health about 10 years back but its not super serious but still it hindered me to work, kept me from giving my full effort, irritated every time and so damn sick of being sick.

I guess, it became my priority to deal with the health issues I am having at that time. Focused on researching and researching, consulting, attending health conferences, trying out different vitamins, supplements, diets, kept on adjusting how I ate and doing things, until I found a reasonable and sensible routine that can improve my health. 'Coz I know, if I feel good, then I can put in more and more hours to reach my other goals.

Maybe you're just overwhelmed right now and need to take it one focus at a time. From the looks of it, you're trying to do and deal with things all at the same time. This is just my personal opinion, hopefully it can add some insights and help you out. I know you can do it! :)
 
D

Deleted50669

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I am willing to put in the work but I just don’t know what I can get started in that can generate enough money that I can fund my own top of the line health care plan and/or where I have enough money that health bills become irrelevant. I have looked at solving problems like becoming a Print on Demand manufacturer for sellers or making custom products using CNC machines or Laser engravers but that may be a really stupid idea. I have about $5,000 from my shirt sales that I can put into a new business. I’m not looking for handouts or pity just some direction or actionable suggestions or even types of businesses to look into as there may be a type of business I am not aware of. Thank you for your time.

I am sympathetic to your health situation. That being said, I think this paragraph highlights an important thing to overcome; your area of focus. Specifically where you say "I just don't know what I can get started in...". I definitely know what that's like. Aimlessness. Confusion. Anxiousness. But the real issue is you are asking yourself the wrong question. What you can do doesn't matter, what matters is what the market needs you to do. It's easy to become inwardly focused when we are panicked - but it won't be productive. You have to look around, have conversations, read, pay attention to others' pain.
 

David b1

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Apr 7, 2019
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Hello, I just want to say thank you for taking the time to read this, it is difficult for me to put myself out there but I'm not sure what else to do

I’ve read both Millionaire Fastlane and Unscripted . I keep re-reading both of them but I keep spinning my tires and I find I'm stuck with issues that I'm trying to work through but I keep hitting a brick wall and there has to be a solution, another way. I think because I am so burned out from the burden of my job and health stuff, and that my head has been in it so long I cannot see the solution.

The key problem is my health. I have a job that has excellent health care but it doesn’t meet my financial goals and most of all I want freedom so I can enjoy what I have left of my life. Also my job is now negatively affecting my health as the building I work in has severe mold issues. Every day I go to work my face turns red I get headaches and severely tired. I am fully ready for a FTE but my health insurance and mortgage payments stop me.

Some backstory... my health; I spent my entire 30’s being in and out of emergency rooms and operating rooms. In ‘06 I started my computer repair biz, got it incorporated in July, already had clients in Nov. I was getting ready to advertise my biz on billboards and at my main job that same month I fell down a flight of stairs while carrying a PC, the irony. Tore my shoulder had to have it operated on twice over the next two years. Early 2009 discovered a huge ascending aortic aneurysm (caused by antibiotics) had to have open heart surgery and now have to take expensive name brand blood thinners and other heart meds for life as the generics don't work. I also had to have other operations as well. I now have an abdominal aortic aneurysm that may take me out or I may not make it through surgery. All of this killed my PC biz. Due to lifting restrictions I had to abandon it before it got going and due to my job I have no interest in fixing pc’s anymore I've been doing it 20 years and just the sight of a Windows PC stresses me out.

I tried slinging shirts on several platforms but just ended up spending tons of money on designs that never sold and now on the main platform I use they constantly change the rules and give you 30 days or less to modify thousands of listings while providing no tool to bulk download all the listings and change them. In addition I have to check for frivolous trademarks constantly for new and even existing designs, constantly file DMCA takedowns on copycats (as I lose sales whenever copies appear). It has caused way to much stress, costed way too much time input vs reward. In a nutshell to me it’s an unsustainable business model IMHO and it’s someone else’s playground and rules so it’s really not a business. I also sell mugs on these platforms as well but I'm making only 10-15% of the price of it after the platform takes their cut, manufacturing, shipping and ad costs.

I’m currently 44, I feel completely trapped, I want freedom, I had the OHS a decade ago to save my life and yet I ask myself for what? To live a scripted life of mediocrity? All I have done is pissed it away in this job that means nothing and on fruitless pursuits. I want out, I want to start something, anything. I feel the clock is ticking down on me all the time (the constant physical reminder from my metal heart valve does not help), leading to overwhelm and feeling like I've just wasted my life away and continue to do so. I don’t have 10 or 20 years to build something successful as its unlikely I’ll be around that long, if I am great but I doubt it given my health track history.

I am willing to put in the work but I just don’t know what I can get started in that can generate enough money that I can fund my own top of the line health care plan and/or where I have enough money that health bills become irrelevant. I have looked at solving problems like becoming a Print on Demand manufacturer for sellers or making custom products using CNC machines or Laser engravers but that may be a really stupid idea. I have about $5,000 from my shirt sales that I can put into a new business. I’m not looking for handouts or pity just some direction or actionable suggestions or even types of businesses to look into as there may be a type of business I am not aware of. Thank you for your time.
Hi, well, we need to deal with your health first. The emotion of hate, anger, depression and their siblings are here because you are offering resistance to all this, what we resist persists. I want you to try afformations as opposed to affirmations. In your comment you are using disempowering questions, like, e.g. why is this happening ? Write down these.....Why are things going in my favour now? Why do I find it so easy to get the right customers? Why is more money coming into my life now? Why am I so happy now?.why is my health so good now?...See, you have a reticular activating system in your brain, it brings everything into your peripheral view, like....if you want a new car, you will see that car everywhere. Your brain is also a servo mechanism, which is a butler, but it doesn't know sadness, joy, laughter, it just knows how to fetch. When asking disempowering questions, these two go about bringing things into your life , people, situations, that coincide with the negativity. Use afformations in the questions I said, but do NOT focus on the answer, focus on the why, as in develop a feeling of curiosity when asking.
Ok, next, Bless everything about people and things, like your job that you hate, Bless it.

Next. Write down a gratitude list of all the things you already have, also, be thankful for the job, it may pay bills, be grateful for this. It's hard at first, but after a week if this you will thank me.
 
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David b1

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Hi, well, we need to deal with your health first. The emotion of hate, anger, depression and their siblings are here because you are offering resistance to all this, what we resist persists. I want you to try afformations as opposed to affirmations. In your comment you are using
Hi, well, we need to deal with your health first. The emotion of hate, anger, depression and their siblings are here because you are offering resistance to all this, what we resist persists. I want you to try afformations as opposed to affirmations. In your comment you are using disempowering questions, like, e.g. why is this happening ? Write down these.....Why are things going in my favour now? Why do I find it so easy to get the right customers? Why is more money coming into my life now? Why am I so happy now?.why is my health so good now?...See, you have a reticular activating system in your brain, it brings everything into your peripheral view, like....if you want a new car, you will see that car everywhere. Your brain is also a servo mechanism, which is a butler, but it doesn't know sadness, joy, laughter, it just knows how to fetch. When asking disempowering questions, these two go about bringing things into your life , people, situations, that coincide with the negativity. Use afformations in the questions I said, but do NOT focus on the answer, focus on the why, as in develop a feeling of curiosity when asking.
Ok, next, Bless everything about people and things, like your job that you hate, Bless it.

Next. Write down a gratitude list of all the things you already have, also, be thankful for the job, it may pay bills, be grateful for this. It's hard at first, but after a week if this you will thank me.

disempowering questions, like, e.g. why is this happening ? Write down these.....Why are things going in my favour now? Why do I find it so easy to get the right customers? Why is more money coming into my life now? Why am I so happy now?.why is my health so good now?...See, you have a reticular activating system in your brain, it brings everything into your peripheral view, like....if you want a new car, you will see that car everywhere. Your brain is also a servo mechanism, which is a butler, but it doesn't know sadness, joy, laughter, it just knows how to fetch. When asking disempowering questions, these two go about bringing things into your life , people, situations, that coincide with the negativity. Use afformations in the questions I said, but do NOT focus on the answer, focus on the why, as in develop a feeling of curiosity when asking.
Ok, next, Bless everything about people and things, like your job that you hate, Bless it.

Next. Write down a gratitude list of all the things you already have, also, be thankful for the job, it may pay bills, be grateful for this. It's hard at first, but after a week if this you will thank me.
--------------------------------

If you had 24 hour4s to live, and you were given 10 wishes, 10 things you could be have or do. And your family were sound in health, wealth, finances, the lot. These 10 are for you alone and you only have 24 hours to live....What 10 things would you do? Then, pick 5 from these 10....Then pick 3 from the 5, the 1 from the 3 and that my friend is your life purpose. Also, what work would you do without pay? The two should be the same. :) Hope this helps.
 

David b1

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Apr 7, 2019
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Hi, well, we need to deal with your health first. The emotion of hate, anger, depression and their siblings are here because you are offering resistance to all this, what we resist persists. I want you to try afformations as opposed to affirmations. In your comment you are using disempowering questions, like, e.g. why is this happening ? Write down these.....Why are things going in my favour now? Why do I find it so easy to get the right customers? Why is more money coming into my life now? Why am I so happy now?.why is my health so good now?...See, you have a reticular activating system in your brain, it brings everything into your peripheral view, like....if you want a new car, you will see that car everywhere. Your brain is also a servo mechanism, which is a butler, but it doesn't know sadness, joy, laughter, it just knows how to fetch. When asking disempowering questions, these two go about bringing things into your life , people, situations, that coincide with the negativity. Use afformations in the questions I said, but do NOT focus on the answer, focus on the why, as in develop a feeling of curiosity when asking.
Ok, next, Bless everything about people and things, like your job that you hate, Bless it.

Next. Write down a gratitude list of all the things you already have, also, be thankful for the job, it may pay bills, be grateful for this. It's hard at first, but after a week if this you will thank me.


Hello, I just want to say thank you for taking the time to read this, it is difficult for me to put myself out there but I'm not sure what else to do




I’ve read both Millionaire Fastlane and Unscripted . I keep re-reading both of them but I keep spinning my tires and I find I'm stuck with issues that I'm trying to work through but I keep hitting a brick wall and there has to be a solution, another way. I think because I am so burned out from the burden of my job and health stuff, and that my head has been in it so long I cannot see the solution.

The key problem is my health. I have a job that has excellent health care but it doesn’t meet my financial goals and most of all I want freedom so I can enjoy what I have left of my life. Also my job is now negatively affecting my health as the building I work in has severe mold issues. Every day I go to work my face turns red I get headaches and severely tired. I am fully ready for a FTE but my health insurance and mortgage payments stop me.

Some backstory... my health; I spent my entire 30’s being in and out of emergency rooms and operating rooms. In ‘06 I started my computer repair biz, got it incorporated in July, already had clients in Nov. I was getting ready to advertise my biz on billboards and at my main job that same month I fell down a flight of stairs while carrying a PC, the irony. Tore my shoulder had to have it operated on twice over the next two years. Early 2009 discovered a huge ascending aortic aneurysm (caused by antibiotics) had to have open heart surgery and now have to take expensive name brand blood thinners and other heart meds for life as the generics don't work. I also had to have other operations as well. I now have an abdominal aortic aneurysm that may take me out or I may not make it through surgery. All of this killed my PC biz. Due to lifting restrictions I had to abandon it before it got going and due to my job I have no interest in fixing pc’s anymore I've been doing it 20 years and just the sight of a Windows PC stresses me out.

I tried slinging shirts on several platforms but just ended up spending tons of money on designs that never sold and now on the main platform I use they constantly change the rules and give you 30 days or less to modify thousands of listings while providing no tool to bulk download all the listings and change them. In addition I have to check for frivolous trademarks constantly for new and even existing designs, constantly file DMCA takedowns on copycats (as I lose sales whenever copies appear). It has caused way to much stress, costed way too much time input vs reward. In a nutshell to me it’s an unsustainable business model IMHO and it’s someone else’s playground and rules so it’s really not a business. I also sell mugs on these platforms as well but I'm making only 10-15% of the price of it after the platform takes their cut, manufacturing, shipping and ad costs.

I’m currently 44, I feel completely trapped, I want freedom, I had the OHS a decade ago to save my life and yet I ask myself for what? To live a scripted life of mediocrity? All I have done is pissed it away in this job that means nothing and on fruitless pursuits. I want out, I want to start something, anything. I feel the clock is ticking down on me all the time (the constant physical reminder from my metal heart valve does not help), leading to overwhelm and feeling like I've just wasted my life away and continue to do so. I don’t have 10 or 20 years to build something successful as its unlikely I’ll be around that long, if I am great but I doubt it given my health track history.

I am willing to put in the work but I just don’t know what I can get started in that can generate enough money that I can fund my own top of the line health care plan and/or where I have enough money that health bills become irrelevant. I have looked at solving problems like becoming a Print on Demand manufacturer for sellers or making custom products using CNC machines or Laser engravers but that may be a really stupid idea. I have about $5,000 from my shirt sales that I can put into a new business. I’m not looking for handouts or pity just some direction or actionable suggestions or even types of businesses to look into as there may be a type of business I am not aware of. Thank you for your time.

If you had 24 hour4s to live, and you were given 10 wishes, 10 things you could be have or do. And your family were sound in health, wealth, finances, the lot. These 10 are for you alone and you only have 24 hours to live....What 10 things would you do? Then, pick 5 from these 10....Then pick 3 from the 5, the 1 from the 3 and that my friend is your life purpose. Also, what work would you do without pay? The two should be the same. :) Hope this helps. Also, meditation will help and a decent balanced diet, if you don't have one at present that is......You have to know that everything that gets fed grows, you are feeding all this negativity and it is growing. Feed beter things, feed yourself with better thoughts, your imagination is very powerful.
 

luniac

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Your health is #1 man.
Have you looked into
The Wim Hof Method
Welcome to the Official Wim Hof Method Website
Fasting
fasting Archives - Intensive Dietary Management (IDM)
Standing Meditation(Zhan Zhuang)
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOp7wPtE6qA


And of course despite everything, you're still alive and aware of how you really feel about life.
Welcome to the forum.
 
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FLTechGuy

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Apologies for my delay in getting back...I did not get any notifications of any responses to my post.
I also was in the hospital Thurs - Sat as well so I am a little behind. Had a severe headache issue, they thought it may be another aneurysm but it turned out to be an atypical migraine.

I will be going through all of your responses and try to get back to them all in the next 24 hours as I am catching up on other things and getting ready for the Monday morning grind as well.

Just wanted to let everyone know so you all know I didn't abandon this since i haven't been back in several days since posting it.
 

FLTechGuy

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I am sorry to hear about the situation you are in right now when it comes to your health. Personally, I struggled with my health about 10 years back but its not super serious but still it hindered me to work, kept me from giving my full effort, irritated every time and so damn sick of being sick.

I guess, it became my priority to deal with the health issues I am having at that time. Focused on researching and researching, consulting, attending health conferences, trying out different vitamins, supplements, diets, kept on adjusting how I ate and doing things, until I found a reasonable and sensible routine that can improve my health. 'Coz I know, if I feel good, then I can put in more and more hours to reach my other goals.

Maybe you're just overwhelmed right now and need to take it one focus at a time. From the looks of it, you're trying to do and deal with things all at the same time. This is just my personal opinion, hopefully it can add some insights and help you out. I know you can do it! :)

You're right I am trying to do too many things at once. I am in panic mode. I am trying not to be but I cannot help this constant feeling that the train left 5 hours and I'm trying to catch it. Part of what motivates me (my health & wanting a better more free life) is the same thing that weighs heavily on my mind daily (my health) i need to figure out something that works some sort of workable and beneficial routine as much as I hate that word as it symbolizes my job.... routine, mundane.

My health issues unfortunately are not something can be solved by supplements etc. I wish they could I spent over 6 months to a year researching over and over again on the drugs that caused my health issue, the AAA itself and what drives it and trying to figure out a way to undo the damage. I have no medical background so what I learned below was from reading and researching over that period of time.

I had to step away from the research because it became downright depressing and I do no not have the chemistry and genetic knowledge to be able to figure out the Pharmacogenomics and Pharmacokinetics behind this drug. As I said the health issues were due to a prescription antibiotic drug and now after several years even the FDA has finally admitted it can cause Aortic aneurysms in December 2018 FDA warns about increased risk of ruptures or tears in the aorta blood vessel with fluoroquinolone antibiotics in certain patients

The problem is this drug is a Topoisomerase inhibitor, it is supposed to basically rip apart and disrupt bacterial DNA this is how it kills bacterial infections. The problem is the drug does not stop there. It damages human DNA and creates adducts in the DNA, causes type II collagen depletion which is what causes tendon rupture and other connective tissue disorders which has been a long known side effect of the drug. The Aorta being the largest connective tissue in the body is made up of Fibrogen and Type II Collagen so the collagen depletion leads to depletion of the collagen in the Aorta thereby weakening it and causing it to be less flexible. Think of it like a chemically induced Marfans or Ehlers Danlos syndrome. It also gives rise to an inflammatory response that goes off the charts for MMP-9 which drives aneurysm growth along with IL-6 and MMP-2.

Unfortunately the only fix would be CRISPR gene editing and the knowledge is not yet there yet to repair such damage and if it was that type of medical help is only available if you have money and lots of it as insurance isn't going to cover that. The only other option is try to keep having the aorta stent sleeves put in (which can slip and have to be CT scanned every year) or have open surgery and have the bad aorta tissue cut out and Dacron sleeving grafted over the existing tissue making up the difference which while being on blood thinners is an increased risk and on top of that the risk of infection is high with Abdominal Aortic Aneurysms.

Knowing all this is part of what is driving the panic. I want to experience the best life I can but to do so I need to get out of my job and do something big and rapidly because I know realistically given what I am up against the odds are not in my favor or having 30 or 40 years left to my life where I will see my 70's and 80's. The healthcare is not optional and thats the sticking point with the FTE like I said.
I have to have it whereas most individuals can drop it for a time while they pursue other ventures.
 

FLTechGuy

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Feb 23, 2015
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I am sympathetic to your health situation. That being said, I think this paragraph highlights an important thing to overcome; your area of focus. Specifically where you say "I just don't know what I can get started in...". I definitely know what that's like. Aimlessness. Confusion. Anxiousness. But the real issue is you are asking yourself the wrong question. What you can do doesn't matter, what matters is what the market needs you to do. It's easy to become inwardly focused when we are panicked - but it won't be productive. You have to look around, have conversations, read, pay attention to others' pain.

Great advice; I never saw it that way but I thought about what you said, asking the wrong question... I've seen items in the store for sale and I've asked myself "who really buys these portable bluetooth speakers" (for example) obviously someone does but I was asking the wrong question.

Any other suggestions to get more market mind oriented?
Looking at it from my own perception/ asking the wrong question clearly is blinding me or causing me to miss opportunity and I see that now that you have pointed that out.

I did try a cursory search on Amazon for "i hate, this sucks etc." but didn't really come up with much and google was finding more complaints about movies or politics.
 
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FLTechGuy

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Hi, well, we need to deal with your health first. The emotion of hate, anger, depression and their siblings are here because you are offering resistance to all this, what we resist persists. I want you to try afformations as opposed to affirmations. In your comment you are using disempowering questions, like, e.g. why is this happening ? Write down these.....Why are things going in my favour now? Why do I find it so easy to get the right customers? Why is more money coming into my life now? Why am I so happy now?.why is my health so good now?...See, you have a reticular activating system in your brain, it brings everything into your peripheral view, like....if you want a new car, you will see that car everywhere. Your brain is also a servo mechanism, which is a butler, but it doesn't know sadness, joy, laughter, it just knows how to fetch. When asking disempowering questions, these two go about bringing things into your life , people, situations, that coincide with the negativity. Use afformations in the questions I said, but do NOT focus on the answer, focus on the why, as in develop a feeling of curiosity when asking.
Ok, next, Bless everything about people and things, like your job that you hate, Bless it.

Next. Write down a gratitude list of all the things you already have, also, be thankful for the job, it may pay bills, be grateful for this. It's hard at first, but after a week if this you will thank me.


I will try this, but in the past I have felt the gratitude thing is a little woo woo for me but the way you explain it makes sense to me so I will try it. I will also try the other exercises you have mentioned, it will take me some time on the 24 hours things, thats a tough one, I have had problems with similar exercises before but I will try to narrow it down using the example you have given.
 

FLTechGuy

Contributor
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Feb 23, 2015
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Your health is #1 man.
Have you looked into
The Wim Hof Method
Welcome to the Official Wim Hof Method Website
Fasting
fasting Archives - Intensive Dietary Management (IDM)
Standing Meditation(Zhan Zhuang)
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOp7wPtE6qA


And of course despite everything, you're still alive and aware of how you really feel about life.
Welcome to the forum.


I have not tried the Wim Hof Method.... I will look into this and also the fasting, I tried fasting before and had some issues with it causing headache but I think I tried to cut over too fast from eating high carb crap to clean eating with fasting so I felt like garbage it was too drastic too fast. I will look into this again...

And yes you are right I do need to remember that despite everything I am still alive... I'm just like a beat up tank, I'm still running but it's not pretty lol - my odd sense of humor. But seriously you are right I forget that and that reminder helps. Thank you!
 
D

Deleted50669

Guest
Great advice; I never saw it that way but I thought about what you said, asking the wrong question... I've seen items in the store for sale and I've asked myself "who really buys these portable bluetooth speakers" (for example) obviously someone does but I was asking the wrong question.

Any other suggestions to get more market mind oriented?
Looking at it from my own perception/ asking the wrong question clearly is blinding me or causing me to miss opportunity and I see that now that you have pointed that out.

I did try a cursory search on Amazon for "i hate, this sucks etc." but didn't really come up with much and google was finding more complaints about movies or politics.
I look at things from a process perspective, because ultimately everything happens as a process. Then I simply ask, "how can I make that process better? Where is it broken? Why are people complaining about it? Why does it take so F*cking long?" etc etc. I don't think it needs to be a science project, honestly. I used to think that way, and it kept me stuck. Once I just started attacking a process, I started connecting the dots and developing a solution.
 
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David b1

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I will try this, but in the past I have felt the gratitude thing is a little woo woo for me but the way you explain it makes sense to me so I will try it. I will also try the other exercises you have mentioned, it will take me some time on the 24 hours things, thats a tough one, I have had problems with similar exercises before but I will try to narrow it down using the example you have given.
The more your grateful for the more life gives you to be grateful for. The more shit you feel, life will give you more shit to feel shit about.
 
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Guest92dX

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Hello, I just want to say thank you for taking the time to read this, it is difficult for me to put myself out there but I'm not sure what else to do

Hi,

Just stopped by to check topics while I walk my own path.

1. You have no mindset. Mindset breeds confidence.
2. You are focused on how and tactics. Instead of why and interest. The nervous system hates steps, and with your previous general success you do not have a tactics problem.:smile2:
3. You do not want freedom. You want safety. You want freedom, but you're physically, through illness, and mentally trapped in safety. For your own visceral experience, I bolded your Crux problem. You have never been the same since your accident. Sorry to hear that.

#3 is your only real problem. You have motivation and take more action than I do. #1 will be taken care of by #3.:p

I'm sure my progress thread needs love. Anywho, you need to reconcile with safety and freedom. You're an action maniac and destroying yourself literally for circumstances.

Let your circumstances teach you. You've been trying to dictate so heavily that opposite reactions are compounding.

If you have 3 years this will work for you, it honestly works in months, weeks, or days, but it depends on the student.

Internally, you're speaking from so many voices nothing can get out clearly.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor and don't know if thinking about your heart or feeling it will have a negative impact on you. I've never known meditative practices to have a negative effect, but you should always consult your doctor first.

To fix this:

1. Sit down with yourself. Feel into your weakened champion heart and deeply thank it for never failing on you and getting you so far in life. You really do need to thank it.

2. Thank everything in your life that is keeping you trapped. Sincerely, thank everything because it has also kept you alive and living with the future want to happen.

3. Thank everything in you that desires freedom.

4. Get a pencil and small pocketbook notepad. Do not take another action step until you fill up that notepad with all the desires that make you happy. Like a cup of coffee or a beer. Write all aspects of your life vision when you wake up. Desires throughout the day. Fill the notebook up completely. It's only pocket sized so it should only take a few weeks to months.

Step 4 energizes your vision to allow you overcome safety and inertia. You don't have sit still inertia, but you're shutdown in several aspects. You don't need to know them all. Just focus on being happy, writing happy things in your journal, and putting your focus of attention on the desires and vision you have.

You have tons of speed and action, but you lack trajectory. No one can give you a satisfying answer. This is something you have to answer yourself.

Do all 4 steps with your heart feeling and not your head feeling. Just calm down and focus on your breathing with deep breaths and feel the aliveness of your hands. Scan that feeling up to your heart and do all the steps.

Do not go to step 5 until you complete steps 1-4.

5. When you've filled up the notebook, reflect on all the times you've betrayed yourself. Your post readslikeyou feel like you've let yourself down. Then toss it all in the past.

Disclaimer: consult with your doctor before doing any activity I have suggested. I am not a medical professional and do not know the risks associated or your personal medical history.

6. After you've done those 5 steps, choose a simple activity that you've always been scared of that is easy on your heart. An activity that does not have any real safety to your heart like public speaking. Again, choose an activity that will not be an actual threat to you. It must be a perceived unsettling experience. If you do the activity successfully and don't feel any resistance then move to step 7.

7. After you do your chosen activity, start another business and see if you don't make it this time. :)
 

Dameron

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You're right I am trying to do too many things at once. I am in panic mode. I am trying not to be but I cannot help this constant feeling that the train left 5 hours and I'm trying to catch it. Part of what motivates me (my health & wanting a better more free life) is the same thing that weighs heavily on my mind daily (my health) i need to figure out something that works some sort of workable and beneficial routine as much as I hate that word as it symbolizes my job.... routine, mundane.

My health issues unfortunately are not something can be solved by supplements etc. I wish they could I spent over 6 months to a year researching over and over again on the drugs that caused my health issue, the AAA itself and what drives it and trying to figure out a way to undo the damage. I have no medical background so what I learned below was from reading and researching over that period of time.

I had to step away from the research because it became downright depressing and I do no not have the chemistry and genetic knowledge to be able to figure out the Pharmacogenomics and Pharmacokinetics behind this drug. As I said the health issues were due to a prescription antibiotic drug and now after several years even the FDA has finally admitted it can cause Aortic aneurysms in December 2018 FDA warns about increased risk of ruptures or tears in the aorta blood vessel with fluoroquinolone antibiotics in certain patients

The problem is this drug is a Topoisomerase inhibitor, it is supposed to basically rip apart and disrupt bacterial DNA this is how it kills bacterial infections. The problem is the drug does not stop there. It damages human DNA and creates adducts in the DNA, causes type II collagen depletion which is what causes tendon rupture and other connective tissue disorders which has been a long known side effect of the drug. The Aorta being the largest connective tissue in the body is made up of Fibrogen and Type II Collagen so the collagen depletion leads to depletion of the collagen in the Aorta thereby weakening it and causing it to be less flexible. Think of it like a chemically induced Marfans or Ehlers Danlos syndrome. It also gives rise to an inflammatory response that goes off the charts for MMP-9 which drives aneurysm growth along with IL-6 and MMP-2.

Unfortunately the only fix would be CRISPR gene editing and the knowledge is not yet there yet to repair such damage and if it was that type of medical help is only available if you have money and lots of it as insurance isn't going to cover that. The only other option is try to keep having the aorta stent sleeves put in (which can slip and have to be CT scanned every year) or have open surgery and have the bad aorta tissue cut out and Dacron sleeving grafted over the existing tissue making up the difference which while being on blood thinners is an increased risk and on top of that the risk of infection is high with Abdominal Aortic Aneurysms.

Knowing all this is part of what is driving the panic. I want to experience the best life I can but to do so I need to get out of my job and do something big and rapidly because I know realistically given what I am up against the odds are not in my favor or having 30 or 40 years left to my life where I will see my 70's and 80's. The healthcare is not optional and thats the sticking point with the FTE like I said.
I have to have it whereas most individuals can drop it for a time while they pursue other ventures.
 
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Dameron

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Yep, fluoroquinolones are very nasty. Cost me two years of my life recovering from the medical system mistake... I was not aware of the heart problem possibility, have to go look into that now... thanks - I think?
 

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