Rip Apart My Book.

[mikecarlooch]

Hi guys, so this book i put up for sale has gotten about 10 sales so far. It took me about 4-5 days to write it. Can you guys literally just tear apart everything I can do better (should I make it longer, how do I make this a better chance to become a productocracy, etc?) I think I have a unique idea for my niche in terms of a book, but I don't think my execution was good. here is the link Amazon.com: The Complete Guide To Self-Improvement For Young Men: Actionable Guide For Teen Mental Fitness, Teen Fitness, Nutrition and Mindset eBook : Carlucci, Mike: Kindle Store

thanks guys

 

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[BizyDad]

The cover is cringe but can I rip this thread apart instead? Are your 10 sales from people you also asked to help you?

 

[mikecarlooch]

The cover is cringe but can I rip this thread apart instead? Are your 10 sales from people you also asked to help you?

no... I have an audience on social media brotha. I am not telling people to buy my book in this thread if that's what you're suggesting.. I'm just trying to maybe get advice from people that have successfully made a book.

 

[BizyDad]

I am not telling people to buy my book in this thread if that's what you're suggesting

Of course you are. I'm not suggesting it, you are. How else are they supposed to tell you if it should be longer? How are they supposed to judge if it can be a productocracy if they haven't read it?

And shouldn't you be asking for feedback from teens? What did your readers think of your book?

You didn't think through this post.
You didn't think through your marketing strategy.

I'll give you credit though, you've already taken more action than 99% of people on the forum. Congrats for that.

 

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[mikecarlooch]

Of course you are. I'm not suggesting it, you are. How else are they supposed to tell you if it should be longer? How are they supposed to judge if it can be a productocracy if they haven't read it?

And shouldn't you be asking for feedback from teens? What did your readers think of your book?

You didn't think through this post.
You didn't think through your marketing strategy.

I'll give you credit though, you've already taken more action than 99% of people on the forum. Congrats for that.

I could go on arguing about how you can see the amount of pages and a preview and things of that nature lol. but i'm not like that. this is all the feedback i need and you helped me out with this post. thank you.

 

[Mattie]

no... I have an audience on social media brotha. I am not telling people to buy my book in this thread if that's what you're suggesting.. I'm just trying to maybe get advice from people that have successfully made a book.

I agree change the cover. I wouldn't buy it just looking at the cover. It has to stand out from the rest, and i left a bunch of video's on my thread about covers and canva if you aren't already on there. They show you templates as well about covers in Canva for samples of what you might want it to look like more professional.

But you can do it on other software too.

 

[mikecarlooch]

I agree change the cover. I wouldn't buy it just looking at the cover. It has to stand out from the rest, and i left a bunch of video's on my thread about covers and canva if you aren't already on there. They show you templates as well about covers in Canva for samples of what you might want it to look like more professional.

But you can do it on other software too.

thank you mattie. I will check this out

 

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[doster.zach]

Kudos for you for being actionable. But 4-5 days to write a book means you didn't put in enough time from what I know. Most writers spend months not days on writing a book.

From what I can tell from your sample, your editing is a little off and you probably should fix the formatting. The cover needs some work, and I would change your title to be shorter and narrow your target audience. No way a "complete" self improvement guide is only 45 pages long.

 

[p0stscript]

The cover is cringe

I agree change the cover

I will add to this, you are selling a £4.47 book (in UK) that looks like a 99p one. Also 46 pages is not what I'd expect for a book that price.

From what I can tell from your sample, your editing is a little off and you probably should fix the formatting.

Change your alignment and line spacing in places. Left aligned is much more professional looking, centre aligned is used by school kids for projects.

Well done on the sales so far, making improvements and getting more positive feedback will help increase them.

 

[Hai]

I agree, ask your audience what they think about it. I understand you're not a writer or author, but look into make it look more professional.

 

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[Ing]

You have Audience. Congratulations!
You have a book. Congratulations.
Thats an entrepreneural boat allready. Now analyze, correct the course, repeat.
There have been some threats on publishing books recently. Search and read them!
And threads years old. Search and read them!

The theme you choose is choosen by any boy, who succeeded to build up some muscles. Difference to most: you wrote a book. Difference to 1000 s other books: yours seems to need some work to be good. Do your shit!

 

[p0stscript]

Hi @mikecarlucci
just wondering if you have made further progress to your book after the critique given at your request.

Can you guys literally just tear apart everything I can do better (should I make it longer, how do I make this a better chance to become a productocracy, etc?)

I reiterate what I said before

Well done on the sales so far, making improvements and getting more positive feedback will help increase them.

Hopefully you have taken the advice of @Mattie, and the others, above and have started changing things. Adding to Ing's advice....

Difference to 1000 s other books: yours seems to need some work to be good. Do your shit!

Do it.

 

[woken]

If you know a fellow entrepreneur that feels down, show them this thread.

I am amazed that you had 10 sales WTF?

With that cover? What are you hiding from us?

Anyways, lots to improve as others already told you. I find it nice that you specified the read is for 12-18.

The only thing I’d suggest is don’t go “the more the merrier” way but instead focus on quality.

 

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[Saad Khan]

Congrats on your 10 sales.

Your amazon listing is poorly optimized. I suggest you find other similar self-help ebooks on amazon and observe what keywords they put in their title. Then you can copy and paste those keywords in your listing too. That'll bump the organic reach a bit.

Don't feel bad, optimizing listings helps you in indexing and ranking. Look up some videos on YT about it if you feel like you want to max it out.

Change the cover. Will help a ton.

 

[Simon Angel]

Congrats on your 10 sales.

Change the cover. Your skinny image has its head cut off. If you can't find a replacement for it, then design it so it doesn't look bad.

Your amazon listing is poorly optimized. I'm cringing at what keywords have you put in the title. I'm judging because this is what I do all day (It's literally what I do every day).

Don't feel bad, optimizing listings helps you in indexing and ranking. Look up some videos on YT about that or contact me for professional help. (I'm not selling, just doing what you did in OP )

Change the cover.

What you do shouldn't be judging but advising and helping.

"Your skinny image has its head cut off"

^And that's definitely NOT helping. You're just mocking his efforts.

Did being clever make you feel better? I doubt it. And I doubt it made him feel better either.

Now, why don't you rewrite this and actually suggest some actionable advice to help him?

 

[nothingness]

Needs editing, needs a new cover, too many phrases in the title (and therefore the cover, making it look busy), I'm not sure why there's two different men on the cover, one with a tanning issue? It looks like a before / after tanning product, instead of anything to do with the title. The description needs copywriting work. Even the last sentence makes no sense

"The goal of this book is to make young men feel their absolute best for their mind, body and spirit."

How do you feel your best for something that you are???

Honest opinion is the cover, title, description just looks thrown together in five minutes. The editing is nuts. Did you even open it on a kindle? Did you accidentally leave it on centring like the titles? You have trailing sentences in the middle of the page!!!!!

Also it's too expensive for a 45 page pamphlet. I wouldn't be at all surprised if 1 star reviews flood in saying just that. You're charging $6 for a 45 page book vs your competitors charging $2.99 for 300 page books. Also in the non fiction world 90% of books sold are real books, not kindle titles...where's yours?

How you you even talk about mental fitness, fitness, nutrition, and mindset in just 11,000 words? I would expect to read 30k words minimum in 4 separate books for those 4 topics especially at that price point.

I'm sorry but this just screams "internet marketer".

The only good thing out of this is 10 sales, which shows there's demand and volume. I would unpublish this asap and completely rework it and publish it again, but the problem you have now is that the AI system will flag it as copied work. This is why if you're going to publish you need to nail everything on the first go.

Sorry if this is harsh (not really sorry) but you asked..

​

 

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[starttoday123]

When one of my cousins was a teen he drank a gallon of milk a day for a while to gain muscle because nothing he was doing was working and he was sick and tired of being called the "skinny kid" at school and among his brothers and he said it worked. Maybe that's a similar pain your audience has? Maybe you want to add what you'll help them overcome (no muscle, being too lazy to go the the gym etc.) more specifically with key words they'll be searching? Congrats on all the action you've taken and on your sales!

 

[mikecarlooch]

Needs editing, needs a new cover, too many phrases in the title (and therefore the cover, making it look busy), I'm not sure why there's two different men on the cover, one with a tanning issue? It looks like a before / after tanning product, instead of anything to do with the title. The description needs copywriting work. Even the last sentence makes no sense

"The goal of this book is to make young men feel their absolute best for their mind, body and spirit."

How do you feel your best for something that you are???

Honest opinion is the cover, title, description just looks thrown together in five minutes. The editing is nuts. Did you even open it on a kindle? Did you accidentally leave it on centring like the titles? You have trailing sentences in the middle of the page!!!!!

Also it's too expensive for a 45 page pamphlet. I wouldn't be at all surprised if 1 star reviews flood in saying just that. You're charging $6 for a 45 page book vs your competitors charging $2.99 for 300 page books. Also in the non fiction world 90% of books sold are real books, not kindle titles...where's yours?

How you you even talk about mental fitness, fitness, nutrition, and mindset in just 11,000 words? I would expect to read 30k words minimum in 4 separate books for those 4 topics especially at that price point.

I'm sorry but this just screams "internet marketer".

The only good thing out of this is 10 sales, which shows there's demand and volume. I would unpublish this asap and completely rework it and publish it again, but the problem you have now is that the AI system will flag it as copied work. This is why if you're going to publish you need to nail everything on the first go.

Sorry if this is harsh (not really sorry) but you asked..

​

Thank you. this is exactly the type of feedback I was looking for thank you

 

[mikecarlooch]

When one of my cousins was a teen he drank a gallon of milk a day for a while to gain muscle because nothing he was doing was working and he was sick and tired of being called the "skinny kid" at school and among his brothers and he said it worked. Maybe that's a similar pain your audience has? Maybe you want to add what you'll help them overcome (no muscle, being too lazy to go the the gym etc.) more specifically with key words they'll be searching? Congrats on all the action you've taken and on your sales!

Thank you for feedback!

 

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[mikecarlooch]

If you know a fellow entrepreneur that feels down, show them this thread.

I am amazed that you had 10 sales WTF?

With that cover? What are you hiding from us?

Anyways, lots to improve as others already told you. I find it nice that you specified the read is for 12-18.

The only thing I’d suggest is don’t go “the more the merrier” way but instead focus on quality.

Yes i have a good size following on social media lol .

Thank you for feedback I plan to completely redo this

 

[nothingness]

When you redo it, post here before you publish, and tag me and I will check it over for you if you like.

 

[André Mariano]

the cover is beyond terrible, the rest we can't see if you don't post a copy

 

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[mikecarlooch]

Hi @mikecarlucci
just wondering if you have made further progress to your book after the critique given at your request.

I reiterate what I said before

Hopefully you have taken the advice of @Mattie, and the others, above and have started changing things. Adding to Ing's advice....


Do it.

Hey postscript, I have decided that the concept of the book will be used but the whole thing will be revamped and actually be 100X more valuable than it is right now. Writing and revising every day at the moment.

 

[p0stscript]

the whole thing will be revamped and actually be 100X more valuable than it is right now. Writing and revising every day at the moment.

Way to go, you have a great opportunity to link it to your other endeavours, and have already shown yourself capable of action. All the best.

 

[Mattie]

600 ideas for different designs for covers. Not a yearbook, but you'll get the idea.

View: https://youtu.be/DO_W0dEteFI

 

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[Rabby]

I remember buying a book like this as a teen. I don't remember much about the content, but probably nothing in the book worked. It also had a somewhat awkward title and cover (I bought it anyway...), and so it was always cover-down, or buried in papers or other books, so that friends couldn't see it and say, "ahahaaa, sooo you're insecure about your physique ehhhh?!" ::troll faces:: ... I'll come back to the point about teen social insecurity.

While I think variations on (roll 2d4 here to choose title) "<best/easiest/forgotten/secret> + <facts/methods/routines/habits> to amazing muscles" books will always sell to a certain audience (there are examples from the 1920s, and probably ancient Rome), a good way to differentiate would be to make sure it actually works for people.

Why good? Well, a few people are going to buy it just because they're desperate to build muscles, and impatient. When they do, if you can hook them into the subject and somehow get them to actually do things that will make them gain muscle, you're going to get an organic boost to your book.

That's harder than it sounds though. I now know as an educator that some of the harder things to figure out are: (1) how to convince people to internalize the motivation to follow through with something (2) designing routines and methods that a majority of people can and will follow, if they have the motivation. But just because it's hard doesn't mean you shouldn't try to crack that code... in fact, you should. Because that's usually where the real money is, regardless of the subject or problem you're working on.

I should mention... to know if it actually works for people, you need a way to keep track of at least some number of people. Maybe you can do this with your online following. But you will definitely find that there are people who your default tried-and-true methods don't work for, no matter how diligently they apply them. It is then your job to figure out why, and if at all possible, discover the other methods which do work for these people. Then you can publish new editions, or supplemental books, etc.

For the cover, think about what a 15 year old (or whatever age) is going to think when considering whether to show the book to a friend. Or to Mom, or girlfriend, or little brother. Is the cover too awkward or embarrassing to share? If it is, your book becomes an occult secret, and that's usually not good for sales. So, if you can find a way to break the awkwardness with humor, seriousness, diversion, or whatever, you're probably helping your sales with the teen audience.

If you can imagine them handing it to their coolest and most preposterously aloof friend with a smile and saying "Bruh, check this out man," and getting a positive reaction, then you're probably on the right track with the cover design (and title).

 

[Justin L]

Hey postscript, I have decided that the concept of the book will be used but the whole thing will be revamped and actually be 100X more valuable than it is right now. Writing and revising every day at the moment.

Good for you. Keep going and good luck!

 

[mikecarlooch]

I remember buying a book like this as a teen. I don't remember much about the content, but probably nothing in the book worked. It also had a somewhat awkward title and cover (I bought it anyway...), and so it was always cover-down, or buried in papers or other books, so that friends couldn't see it and say, "ahahaaa, sooo you're insecure about your physique ehhhh?!" ::troll faces:: ... I'll come back to the point about teen social insecurity.

While I think variations on (roll 2d4 here to choose title) "<best/easiest/forgotten/secret> + <facts/methods/routines/habits> to amazing muscles" books will always sell to a certain audience (there are examples from the 1920s, and probably ancient Rome), a good way to differentiate would be to make sure it actually works for people.

Why good? Well, a few people are going to buy it just because they're desperate to build muscles, and impatient. When they do, if you can hook them into the subject and somehow get them to actually do things that will make them gain muscle, you're going to get an organic boost to your book.

That's harder than it sounds though. I now know as an educator that some of the harder things to figure out are: (1) how to convince people to internalize the motivation to follow through with something (2) designing routines and methods that a majority of people can and will follow, if they have the motivation. But just because it's hard doesn't mean you shouldn't try to crack that code... in fact, you should. Because that's usually where the real money is, regardless of the subject or problem you're working on.

I should mention... to know if it actually works for people, you need a way to keep track of at least some number of people. Maybe you can do this with your online following. But you will definitely find that there are people who your default tried-and-true methods don't work for, no matter how diligently they apply them. It is then your job to figure out why, and if at all possible, discover the other methods which do work for these people. Then you can publish new editions, or supplemental books, etc.

For the cover, think about what a 15 year old (or whatever age) is going to think when considering whether to show the book to a friend. Or to Mom, or girlfriend, or little brother. Is the cover too awkward or embarrassing to share? If it is, your book becomes an occult secret, and that's usually not good for sales. So, if you can find a way to break the awkwardness with humor, seriousness, diversion, or whatever, you're probably helping your sales with the teen audience.

If you can imagine them handing it to their coolest and most preposterously aloof friend with a smile and saying "Bruh, check this out man," and getting a positive reaction, then you're probably on the right track with the cover design (and title).

WOW! Bookmarking this one. Screenshotted and writing this down. Thank you for this . Never thought about these things honestly!

 

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[Leo Hartas]

Hi guys, so this book i put up for sale has gotten about 10 sales so far. It took me about 4-5 days to write it. Can you guys literally just tear apart everything I can do better (should I make it longer, how do I make this a better chance to become a productocracy, etc?) I think I have a unique idea for my niche in terms of a book, but I don't think my execution was good. here is the link Amazon.com: The Complete Guide To Self-Improvement For Young Men: Actionable Guide For Teen Mental Fitness, Teen Fitness, Nutrition and Mindset eBook : Carlucci, Mike: Kindle Store

thanks guys

I'd rename it something like, 'TEEN MACHINE - Get to the top of your game' and I'd think about getting an artist to draw a cool mangarish comic book/game character teen steely eyed running towards you. Make it stand out from all the similar titles.

 

[Leo Hartas]

I'd rename it something like, 'TEEN MACHINE - Get to the top of your game' and I'd think about getting an artist to draw a cool mangarish comic book/game character teen steely eyed running towards you. Make it stand out from all the similar titles.

Also, regarding all the design issues a massive skill I have learnt over the years is DTP. I use Affinity Publisher, low cost professional program. I use it every day for all kinds of tasks, not just publishing, such as working out web design, writing copy, even tools for basic accounting. Affinity also do an excellent companion book, quite pricy, but it combines practical use of the software with basics and advanced design rules and concepts. All a steep learning curve but a super power once mastered.

..and to add to my previous comment. Most boys have power fantasies, hence all the superhero comics and video games. I'd think about styling it all with that in mind. Perhaps not just the cover but black and white comic art inside too. Guys smashing through walls, dodging bullets, etc. Perhaps even go as far as couching it all as a game with rewards and levelling up. Just a thought.