I don't know. I can't figure out what the fear is exactly. I don't feel afraid or upset or even bothered. I feel nothing. It's ludicrous for me to even try (at this particular thing) because I know so many examples of people doing a much better job than I could ever do. I've never even tried.
But somebody legit just hired me to try for a tiny amount, right? And suddenly I want to clear my entire schedule to make this thing. My reaction to getting an order seems inordinately unbalanced with my supposed uncaring.
Basically I don't know what I'm feeling, which is weird.
If the thing which you are being hired to do is very different to what you usually do, then it is possible that you have "shiny object syndrome".
So you normally do whatever you do and you probably do it well but you will have got used to it. Now something that you aren't interested in and aren't good at comes along and because it is NEW you get a dopamine rush. "Oh look it's new, I really want to do this..."
So your feeling is a superposition of "meh", how you normally feel about the new activity and "Oh how exciting" from the dopamine rush.
I would suggest that if you can do the new thing without burning any bridges with what you normally do, then do the new thing and do it to the best of your ability. Once you have been working on it for a few hours, the dopamine will wear off and you will either realise that this sucks or that there is something about the new activity that you weren't aware of before.
Once you have finished with the new activity, you will likely want to return to what you normally do.
However, there could be numerous opportunities in this experience so keep an eye out for them:
The new activity might turn out to be something that you like.
The new activity might expose you to something or someone or a skill or technique that can help your regular business.
The new activity might give you a new perspective on what you usually do and so increase your interest in what you usually do.
The new activity might give you some distance from what you usually do and so you can get a bigger perspective on some aspect of what you usually do, leading to some process or skill or technique improvement.
Best of luck with this and try to view it as an opportunity to seek and or discover other opportunities - you don't currently know where this may or may not lead.
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