Procrastination cycle I can't break whatever I do (long read)

[Glootie]

Hello all,
I'm sorry if this post looks edgy, but these kinds of posts are one of my last hopes left to become someone better.
My main issue is being trapped in a sort of depression-dopamine cycle I can't get out of.
Every time I'm trying to build a habit and become more disciplined, I only do that habit for a couple of days, after most likely a burst of motivation after some speech from a guru, and then it fades and I'm back to case 0. I've read many blogs, seen many videos on how to build discipline and how to build habits that last. I've even read the book Atomic Habits and some other self-development books that explain the importance of having good habits and being consistent. I just can't get into those.

One of my main goals is to become fit. During this pandemic, the gyms in my country are closed, so I wanted to stay fit by building a pushups habit. Never worked more than a couple of days. I literally tried to do only 5 pushups a day just to build that habit, but still never lasted more than a couple of days.

Right now, I have exams coming in 4 days, and still didn't even start to learn anything. I thought that video games were a big problem for my procrastination problem, so I forced myself to not do them. I would watch videos/social media instead. So I cut these as well. I start procrastinating by watching some episodes from my favorite series or start reading books. Ok, so let's cut them as well. I literally prefer to stare at my walls for hours and hours instead of doing the things I have to do. It's incredible, really.

My solution rn is to cut everything for like a week, a dopamine detox. But have to study for these exams, even if I'm already fugged cause 4 days is not enough, and having a computer on my hands means procrastinating. Even if I'm trying to work with someone, or even telling all my friends that I'm working, in order to make humiliation a starting factor if I don't accomplish what I promised, I still don't do anything.

So the question arises, do I have a purpose in life? Because this is the question you would certainly ask. I have some goals, yeah. But purpose? Even if I tell myself that for example I want a better future for myself or making my parents' lives better, I still don't feel that energy-burning inside, to make myself move my a$$. And atm, I don't have any hobbies besides procrastinating. The irony.
Slowly losing all hope. And then I thought about Fight Club, the movie. The Narrator lost all hope in life, thus he was able to rise again. But some people think that losing hope is a really bad thing. I have both ideas in my mind, contradicting themselves all the time.

People told me that I should look into myself for answers, that only I can get myself to do anything. But a tree starts to grow from seed. And I lost my seed. (sorry for the crappy metaphor)

 

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[alexkuzmov]

Hello all,
I'm sorry if this post looks edgy, but these kinds of posts are one of my last hopes left to become someone better.
My main issue is being trapped in a sort of depression-dopamine cycle I can't get out of.
Every time I'm trying to build a habit and become more disciplined, I only do that habit for a couple of days, after most likely a burst of motivation after some speech from a guru, and then it fades and I'm back to case 0. I've read many blogs, seen many videos on how to build discipline and how to build habits that last. I've even read the book Atomic Habits and some other self-development books that explain the importance of having good habits and being consistent. I just can't get into those.

One of my main goals is to become fit. During this pandemic, the gyms in my country are closed, so I wanted to stay fit by building a pushups habit. Never worked more than a couple of days. I literally tried to do only 5 pushups a day just to build that habit, but still never lasted more than a couple of days.

Right now, I have exams coming in 4 days, and still didn't even start to learn anything. I thought that video games were a big problem for my procrastination problem, so I forced myself to not do them. I would watch videos/social media instead. So I cut these as well. I start procrastinating by watching some episodes from my favorite series or start reading books. Ok, so let's cut them as well. I literally prefer to stare at my walls for hours and hours instead of doing the things I have to do. It's incredible, really.

My solution rn is to cut everything for like a week, a dopamine detox. But have to study for these exams, even if I'm already fugged cause 4 days is not enough, and having a computer on my hands means procrastinating. Even if I'm trying to work with someone, or even telling all my friends that I'm working, in order to make humiliation a starting factor if I don't accomplish what I promised, I still don't do anything.

So the question arises, do I have a purpose in life? Because this is the question you would certainly ask. I have some goals, yeah. But purpose? Even if I tell myself that for example I want a better future for myself or making my parents' lives better, I still don't feel that energy-burning inside, to make myself move my a$$. And atm, I don't have any hobbies besides procrastinating. The irony.
Slowly losing all hope. And then I thought about Fight Club, the movie. The Narrator lost all hope in life, thus he was able to rise again. But some people think that losing hope is a really bad thing. I have both ideas in my mind, contradicting themselves all the time.

People told me that I should look into myself for answers, that only I can get myself to do anything. But a tree starts to grow from seed. And I lost my seed. (sorry for the crappy metaphor)

So whats plan B?
Give up and die?

 

[The-J]

That's pretty extreme. You may want to see a mental health professional, even if it's just through your university or through a service like BetterHelp. Most procrastinators are like me, where action happens at the last minute. For you, nothing happens ever. The fact that you don't care about the pressure of a deadline or the prospect of harming your future is not a good sign.

If you need more proof, take a look at the following:

• Your sleep schedule. Is it erratic? Do you wake up at 7am some days and 2pm other days? Are you a night owl despite not getting anything done? Do you ever stay in bed for 9+ hours even though you're not all that tired? These are all potential signs of depression.
• Your hygiene. Do you get up and get dressed in the morning even if you have nowhere to go? Do you shower daily, or do you shower infrequently and without any regularity? Do you brush twice a day and floss? Do you keep your hair and beard looking clean? If you're letting go of your hygiene, you may be depressed.
• Substance use. Are you drinking or smoking weed a fair bit? Are you doing other kinds of drugs? Do you rely on nootropics or high doses of caffeine to get things done? Using substances frequently, particularly on days when you should be working, is a bad sign.
• Masturbation. Do you spend more than 30 minutes at a time watching porn? Do you watch porn frequently (more than twice a day)? Or, on the other extreme, do you have absolutely no sex drive whatsoever? Jerking it too much OR having no sex drive could be signs that you're depressed.
• Eating habits. Do you eat on a regular schedule, eating consistent amounts? Are you at a healthy weight? Many depressed people don't eat on a regular schedule and are not maintaining a healthy weight. They may be quite underweight or quite overweight. Binge eating is common, and so is eating a single shoddy meal a day.

I am not a medical professional and you should not take any of the above as real medical advice. See a professional, hopefully you can get access to a doctor for free through your school or maybe your country makes it easy. You'll likely have to be referred, so you can see any old doctor, tell them your symptoms, and they'll send you to where they think you need to go.

Best of luck, but I'm sorry to say that at your current state you've got no serious shot at entrepreneurship. Running a business is a lot of work, particularly at the beginning, and you get no feedback for a long time. You're not ready for it.

If you are NOT depressed, though, then it's clear that you don't have a reason WHY. Go read Simon Sinek's "Start with WHY" and then spend some time in deep reflection. Your WHY isn't going to be something you make up, it's going to be something you FEEL deep inside.

 

[Johnny boy]

Delete the time wasting shit.

Watch too much TV?

Sell it this afternoon.

Play too many videogames?

Sell the Playstation today.

Eat too much shitty food?

Throw out the shitty food right now.

Watch too many youtube videos on your phone, or spend too much time on Instagram?

Delete the apps right now.

Then, stop being a full-of-self-pity, sorry-a$$ wimp and go be a winner.

If you don't know your purpose, it's because you haven't tasted enough life yet. Go taste some stuff. In the meantime, spend your time doing stuff that successful people would consider a "safe bet".

A safe bet would be the following.

The future you will probably wish that you got in great shape.

The future you will probably wish that you learned and developed your mind and explored your interests.

The future you will probably wish that you became successful with the opposite sex.

The future you will probably wish that you traveled the world and saw more than just your hometown.

The future you will probably wish that you said "yes" to more opportunities.

The future you will probably wish that you valued relationships and made more friends, and spent time with people that cared about you.

So in the meantime, while you figure out your "purpose", maybe you should follow your gut, and when you don't know what your gut tells you to do, spend some time following the above "safe bets" and become a better version of yourself.

How can you not be motivated? You don't feel like people constantly doubt you? You don't think that other people think you're worthless? You never get laughed at? You don't get fired up when people F*ck with you? You have nothing to prove? You don't feel scared that this is your one life and you're wasting it away? You don't look around and see how much misery there is and want to do something about it? You don't look around and see all of the opportunity for improvement? You don't want to stop being broke, ignored and uninspired?

 

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[RamonV]

Hello all,
I'm sorry if this post looks edgy, but these kinds of posts are one of my last hopes left to become someone better.
My main issue is being trapped in a sort of depression-dopamine cycle I can't get out of.
Every time I'm trying to build a habit and become more disciplined, I only do that habit for a couple of days, after most likely a burst of motivation after some speech from a guru, and then it fades and I'm back to case 0. I've read many blogs, seen many videos on how to build discipline and how to build habits that last. I've even read the book Atomic Habits and some other self-development books that explain the importance of having good habits and being consistent. I just can't get into those.

One of my main goals is to become fit. During this pandemic, the gyms in my country are closed, so I wanted to stay fit by building a pushups habit. Never worked more than a couple of days. I literally tried to do only 5 pushups a day just to build that habit, but still never lasted more than a couple of days.

Right now, I have exams coming in 4 days, and still didn't even start to learn anything. I thought that video games were a big problem for my procrastination problem, so I forced myself to not do them. I would watch videos/social media instead. So I cut these as well. I start procrastinating by watching some episodes from my favorite series or start reading books. Ok, so let's cut them as well. I literally prefer to stare at my walls for hours and hours instead of doing the things I have to do. It's incredible, really.

My solution rn is to cut everything for like a week, a dopamine detox. But have to study for these exams, even if I'm already fugged cause 4 days is not enough, and having a computer on my hands means procrastinating. Even if I'm trying to work with someone, or even telling all my friends that I'm working, in order to make humiliation a starting factor if I don't accomplish what I promised, I still don't do anything.

So the question arises, do I have a purpose in life? Because this is the question you would certainly ask. I have some goals, yeah. But purpose? Even if I tell myself that for example I want a better future for myself or making my parents' lives better, I still don't feel that energy-burning inside, to make myself move my a$$. And atm, I don't have any hobbies besides procrastinating. The irony.
Slowly losing all hope. And then I thought about Fight Club, the movie. The Narrator lost all hope in life, thus he was able to rise again. But some people think that losing hope is a really bad thing. I have both ideas in my mind, contradicting themselves all the time.

People told me that I should look into myself for answers, that only I can get myself to do anything. But a tree starts to grow from seed. And I lost my seed. (sorry for the crappy metaphor)

Your situation seems like a really uncomfortable one and more complex than it looks.

I see you mention that you’ve read books about self-development in general but have you spent some time trying to understand yourself and how you operate?; even bad conceptions can help you when things look like a life or death situation.

I can certainly relate to the part of not knowing your purpose and not having that burning desire that you “need” to get things done but i can say that if you develop systems good enough you can still achieve things even if it feels forced and “artificial” at first. Everyone can achieve something if just by mere habit. It’s just testing until you get your combination right.

Obviously, you gotta figure out by yourself: the things you’re good for, the things you like, the things you dislike and hate and how to use that in your favor. There’s not a one size fits all and when it’s related to your own self things get only more confusing.

In my case, I’ve rarely seen that “burning desire” naturally but i noticed that by having a concrete and really desirable goal which i want to achieve in a specific amount of time and breaking it down to daily specific tasks keeps me going, also i usually watch short motivational videos so i get that pump that i can’t get naturally thanks to my immutable mood.

Additionally, i eliminate or use as a reward everything that i use to get immediate relief without work (video games, social media, alcohol, masturbation, talking garbage with people that only drains my time, etc.). You mention that you have removed most of these things and prefer to stare at your walls, that’s really weird since you gotta be feeling something and not just lying there. Maybe you got more than you can handle right now and haven’t recognized it just yet?

There’s nothing new about this, it’s mostly the same thing we’ve been reading for about a hundred years in self-help books.

What i look for is first to get a small pump with my goal and the videos and second to feel uncomfortable by not having a quick relief at hand. With such feelings i then proceed to use them as fuel for doing the things i'm supposed to be doing.

Again, it might not seem like a revolutionary way of achieving things but having some sort of structure, knowing where it’s failing and where it can be improved or if it doesn’t work for you it’s a good starting point and can give you some clarity specially during hard times.

 

[Archer_Zero]

Try changing your environment,
- if you can't study at home ( get distracted ), then try studying in the library.

hope it helps.