Glootie
New Contributor
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Value/Post Ratio
150%
- Oct 13, 2020
- 8
- 12
Hello all,
I'm sorry if this post looks edgy, but these kinds of posts are one of my last hopes left to become someone better.
My main issue is being trapped in a sort of depression-dopamine cycle I can't get out of.
Every time I'm trying to build a habit and become more disciplined, I only do that habit for a couple of days, after most likely a burst of motivation after some speech from a guru, and then it fades and I'm back to case 0. I've read many blogs, seen many videos on how to build discipline and how to build habits that last. I've even read the book Atomic Habits and some other self-development books that explain the importance of having good habits and being consistent. I just can't get into those.
One of my main goals is to become fit. During this pandemic, the gyms in my country are closed, so I wanted to stay fit by building a pushups habit. Never worked more than a couple of days. I literally tried to do only 5 pushups a day just to build that habit, but still never lasted more than a couple of days.
Right now, I have exams coming in 4 days, and still didn't even start to learn anything. I thought that video games were a big problem for my procrastination problem, so I forced myself to not do them. I would watch videos/social media instead. So I cut these as well. I start procrastinating by watching some episodes from my favorite series or start reading books. Ok, so let's cut them as well. I literally prefer to stare at my walls for hours and hours instead of doing the things I have to do. It's incredible, really.
My solution rn is to cut everything for like a week, a dopamine detox. But have to study for these exams, even if I'm already fugged cause 4 days is not enough, and having a computer on my hands means procrastinating. Even if I'm trying to work with someone, or even telling all my friends that I'm working, in order to make humiliation a starting factor if I don't accomplish what I promised, I still don't do anything.
So the question arises, do I have a purpose in life? Because this is the question you would certainly ask. I have some goals, yeah. But purpose? Even if I tell myself that for example I want a better future for myself or making my parents' lives better, I still don't feel that energy-burning inside, to make myself move my a$$. And atm, I don't have any hobbies besides procrastinating. The irony.
Slowly losing all hope. And then I thought about Fight Club, the movie. The Narrator lost all hope in life, thus he was able to rise again. But some people think that losing hope is a really bad thing. I have both ideas in my mind, contradicting themselves all the time.
People told me that I should look into myself for answers, that only I can get myself to do anything. But a tree starts to grow from seed. And I lost my seed. (sorry for the crappy metaphor)
I'm sorry if this post looks edgy, but these kinds of posts are one of my last hopes left to become someone better.
My main issue is being trapped in a sort of depression-dopamine cycle I can't get out of.
Every time I'm trying to build a habit and become more disciplined, I only do that habit for a couple of days, after most likely a burst of motivation after some speech from a guru, and then it fades and I'm back to case 0. I've read many blogs, seen many videos on how to build discipline and how to build habits that last. I've even read the book Atomic Habits and some other self-development books that explain the importance of having good habits and being consistent. I just can't get into those.
One of my main goals is to become fit. During this pandemic, the gyms in my country are closed, so I wanted to stay fit by building a pushups habit. Never worked more than a couple of days. I literally tried to do only 5 pushups a day just to build that habit, but still never lasted more than a couple of days.
Right now, I have exams coming in 4 days, and still didn't even start to learn anything. I thought that video games were a big problem for my procrastination problem, so I forced myself to not do them. I would watch videos/social media instead. So I cut these as well. I start procrastinating by watching some episodes from my favorite series or start reading books. Ok, so let's cut them as well. I literally prefer to stare at my walls for hours and hours instead of doing the things I have to do. It's incredible, really.
My solution rn is to cut everything for like a week, a dopamine detox. But have to study for these exams, even if I'm already fugged cause 4 days is not enough, and having a computer on my hands means procrastinating. Even if I'm trying to work with someone, or even telling all my friends that I'm working, in order to make humiliation a starting factor if I don't accomplish what I promised, I still don't do anything.
So the question arises, do I have a purpose in life? Because this is the question you would certainly ask. I have some goals, yeah. But purpose? Even if I tell myself that for example I want a better future for myself or making my parents' lives better, I still don't feel that energy-burning inside, to make myself move my a$$. And atm, I don't have any hobbies besides procrastinating. The irony.
Slowly losing all hope. And then I thought about Fight Club, the movie. The Narrator lost all hope in life, thus he was able to rise again. But some people think that losing hope is a really bad thing. I have both ideas in my mind, contradicting themselves all the time.
People told me that I should look into myself for answers, that only I can get myself to do anything. But a tree starts to grow from seed. And I lost my seed. (sorry for the crappy metaphor)
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