How to lose your best friend in 1 hour

[evanthebarbarian]

Hey folks. Name's Evan. New here. Just had a fight with a friend the other day that I'm still trying to wrap my head around. Hope you can shed some light and reassure me and/or point me in the right direction.

Few weeks ago, a long-time friend posted a joke on Facebook, said it might make a good bumper sticker. Thought: "Wish I had come up with that." A couple days later, we're out hiking and he mentions it again. "That's pretty good," I said. "Mind if I put that on a t-shirt?" Sure, he says. Go for it.

So over the last week I'd been boning up on print-on-demand sites like Teespring and PrintAura, cramming on Facebook Ads and targeting niches. I tell him what I've been doing, and why. I setup the Facebook page, and show him. I get the design back from the guy on Fiverr, I tell him. A day or so later I launch it all, start the ad campaign rolling, and tag him on the post.

"Shitty," he says. "Are you really trying to make money off my idea? It's not funny anymore."

I text him and ask if he's serious, he gave me permission, I've been transparent the whole way, etc. Says he doesn't "have the time" to talk to me right then.

I try to brush it off at first, thinking we'll talk later, but as the hour passes I just get more upset. He was my best friend, I've known him for a decade, I loved him like a brother and he legit broke my heart. Who does he think I am? What does he think I am? Somebody out to screw him? If he had a problem with what I was doing why didn't he just f***ing say something? Did he think I would risk our friendship over a stupid t-shirt? I text him all this, get no reply. And later I think: Yes. Yes, he actually does think all those things about me. And maybe about everyone.

It's been a few days and I'm still in my head rehearsing the tongue-lashing I'd give him if I ever saw him again. And I'm still heartbroken that a guy that I respected, valued, and looked up to, saw as a mirror image of myself in some ways, didn't see me in the same light. And I'm angry. Almost as angry as I was ten years ago when I found out my ex-girlfriend had been cheating on me. It's that same quality of righteous and incredulous anger, y'know?

What I think? I think he never actually expected me to do anything with the idea. Because he never actually planned to do anything with the idea. So when he saw how easy it would've been to just execute and not dream on it, it pissed him off. But it doesn't help.

Anyway, total rant. Bad introduction to the forum I guess. Hope it can help someone, in some way. But mainly I just needed to get it off my chest.

 

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[jon.a]

Move on without him.

 

[Get Right]

Action will cause you to lose lots of friends.

Crab Mentatlity

 

[biophase]

"That's pretty good," I said. "Mind if I put that on a t-shirt?" Sure, he says. Go for it.

Maybe he thought you were just going to put it on one shirt that you would wear, not sell it.

Either way, it was a misunderstanding in some way. If you stopped making this shirt, would he be happy?

 

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[Fox]

Don't chase, either he comes around or just move on.

How is the sticker selling?

 

[evanthebarbarian]

Maybe he thought you were just going to put it on one shirt that you would wear, not sell it.

Either way, it was a misunderstanding in some way. If you stopped making this shirt, would he be happy?

@biophase , Perhaps. He claims he doesn't remember it at all. But I was clear (I thought) that I was going to try and sell it in our followup conversations. I already took the shirt down, but will put it back up soon. I don't care to maintain a friendship with someone who'll call me a thief in public.

@Fox , No sticker last I checked. No nothing.

 

[biophase]

@biophase , Perhaps. He claims he doesn't remember it at all. But I was clear (I thought) that I was going to try and sell it in our followup conversations. I already took the shirt down, but will put it back up soon. I don't care to maintain a friendship with someone who'll call me a thief in public.

Either way, he's jealous because he thinks it's his great awesome idea. I would bet that if you came up with your own quote, put it on a t-shirt and sold the crap out of it, he would still think it was his idea to get you into the t-shirt quote biz in the first place. Sounds like someone who isn't going to be supportive of any of your success in the future.

 

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[Waisec]

Find better friends

 

[Mikkel]

It's been said on this forum quite often and I'll repeat. Ideas don't mean jack sh*t if you don't act on it. I say, good job for not letting that idea go to waste.

And who knows, you may have sparked a fire in him to create something unique himself, one day.

 

[evanthebarbarian]

Find better friends

@Waisech , and you know, the funny/sad thing is, we're both fairly leftist types, and the t-shirt hustle was just a way to try and raise money for the cleaning business I'm starting, and I would find myself on occasion thinking: What will Friend think now that I'm trying to be a "businessman"? I was anticipating in my head the arguments I'd need to make to convince him that it was okay. Then I thought: That's a little weird, Evan. If this is where your head's at, maybe he's not going to be the right person to have around you if you want to start this thing...

Lo and behold...

 

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[Niptuck MD]

Hey folks. Name's Evan. New here. Just had a fight with a friend the other day that I'm still trying to wrap my head around. Hope you can shed some light and reassure me and/or point me in the right direction.

Few weeks ago, a long-time friend posted a joke on Facebook, said it might make a good bumper sticker. Thought: "Wish I had come up with that." A couple days later, we're out hiking and he mentions it again. "That's pretty good," I said. "Mind if I put that on a t-shirt?" Sure, he says. Go for it.

So over the last week I'd been boning up on print-on-demand sites like Teespring and PrintAura, cramming on Facebook Ads and targeting niches. I tell him what I've been doing, and why. I setup the Facebook page, and show him. I get the design back from the guy on Fiverr, I tell him. A day or so later I launch it all, start the ad campaign rolling, and tag him on the post.

"Shitty," he says. "Are you really trying to make money off my idea? It's not funny anymore."

I text him and ask if he's serious, he gave me permission, I've been transparent the whole way, etc. Says he doesn't "have the time" to talk to me right then.

I try to brush it off at first, thinking we'll talk later, but as the hour passes I just get more upset. He was my best friend, I've known him for a decade, I loved him like a brother and he legit broke my heart. Who does he think I am? What does he think I am? Somebody out to screw him? If he had a problem with what I was doing why didn't he just f***ing say something? Did he think I would risk our friendship over a stupid t-shirt? I text him all this, get no reply. And later I think: Yes. Yes, he actually does think all those things about me. And maybe about everyone.

It's been a few days and I'm still in my head rehearsing the tongue-lashing I'd give him if I ever saw him again. And I'm still heartbroken that a guy that I respected, valued, and looked up to, saw as a mirror image of myself in some ways, didn't see me in the same light. And I'm angry. Almost as angry as I was ten years ago when I found out my ex-girlfriend had been cheating on me. It's that same quality of righteous and incredulous anger, y'know?

What I think? I think he never actually expected me to do anything with the idea. Because he never actually planned to do anything with the idea. So when he saw how easy it would've been to just execute and not dream on it, it pissed him off. But it doesn't help.

Anyway, total rant. Bad introduction to the forum I guess. Hope it can help someone, in some way. But mainly I just needed to get it off my chest.

forget him. there are 320 million others here in USA waiting for your firendship.

 

[StevieB]

Your conscience is in the clear if you were transparent with your intentions during the whole process.

If he agreed to let you use his idea then got upset when you began making a profit off of it that simply means you bruised his ego. You showed him that he could have made money off it. Instead he was lazy and just "this would be a great bumper sticker" but never acted on it.

The large majority of the population envy's success but isn't willing to put in the time to become successful then are jealous of others that are.

This may have been your buddy for years but get used to people like this. I'd find a new friend, one that is supportive of your successes and not drag you down when you start selling an idea.

Surround yourself with fastlaners not slowlaners/sidewalkers that get jealous or their ego hurt because you remind them of what they could/should have done themselves but didn't.

 

[Goldman snacks]

it sounds petty, "make money off my idea", its a quote, not the idea for facebook. Just act like it never happened, let him cool off and if you want him as your friend then message him in a few weeks

 

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[Fox]

A good friend would get involved / think its cool someone used his idea / help promote / be supportive.

Its not the profit he is jealous of, its that he could have done it himself. You are showing him up for his own lack of effort in life.

Meant to type t-shirt* not sticker (in the post above regarding sales).

 

[GMSI7D]

law number 2 : never put too much trust in friends .

" Be wary of friends-they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical."

Robert Greene, the 48 laws of power

read the entire law and more in this book :

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0140280197/?tag=tff-amazonparser-20



i would never, ever, be very intimate with friends or too trusting

ever

because human nature is stronger than friendship.

read the scorpion and the frog story :

A scorpion asks a frog to carry it across a river. The frog hesitates, afraid of being stung, but the scorpion argues that if it did so, they would both drown. Considering this, the frog agrees, but midway across the river the scorpion does indeed sting the frog, dooming them both. When the frog asks the scorpion why, the scorpion replies that it was in its nature to do so.

link : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Scorpion_and_the_Frog









.

 

[evanthebarbarian]

@Fox It's definitely not the money he's jealous of. Profit on the t-shirt is so far -7.58. Fiverr + a few hours of Facebook ads. I took it down during the exchange, because I thought it was right to do so, but I'll put it back up soon.

 

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[Fox]

@Fox It's definitely not the money he's jealous of. Profit on the t-shirt is so far -7.58. Fiverr + a few hours of Facebook ads. I took it down during the exchange, because I thought it was right to do so, but I'll put it back up soon.

In University I had a a student business that was doing quite well. A friend offered to help but looking back he just wanted to sabotage my progress. He had a lot of good ideas and seemed committed so I agreed on a even 50-50 split up front. Once I agreed he sat on his a$$ and still wanted half the profit. I ended up just shutting it down since it was near exams anyway but I learned a lot of lessons on who to trust from then on.

If this guy sin't happy you are doing something then move on. Some people just want company on the road to nowhere. And this is a simple t-shirt business, what if its a larger business down the line? He has shown his true colors so its time to start cutting him out.

 

[AgainstAllOdds]

What I think? I think he never actually expected me to do anything with the idea. Because he never actually planned to do anything with the idea. So when he saw how easy it would've been to just execute and not dream on it, it pissed him off. But it doesn't help.

Mediocrity attracts mediocrity.

Your friend's a mediocre person. And when you started to rise above him (through action), that hit his ego. That made him realize that he's not going anywhere.

So to make himself feel better, he decided to sandbag you. Because making you fail will in turn make himself justify that he's not a loser. If on the other hand you succeed, then it shows him that he could've had all the success that you have, but didn't because he lacks something that you have.

P.s. Get used to it. I've had several "friends" get upset over me taking action. And 100% of the time it was their hatred of themselves that resonated in trying to bring me down (sometimes successfully). Just keep going forward. Find better friends. It comes with the territory.

 

[juan917]

Wow thanks for this post, I've been wanting to get into the custom t-shirt game for some time now but have struggled with finding a decent t-shirt supplier. Because of your recommendations I now have a product and just started running my first ever Facebook Ad campaign.

Sorry to hear about your friend. Shit happens

 

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[evanthebarbarian]

Wow thanks for this post, I've been wanting to get into the custom t-shirt game for some time now but have struggled with finding a decent t-shirt supplier. Because of your recommendations I now have a product and just started running my first ever Facebook Ad campaign.

Sorry to hear about your friend. Shit happens

@juan917 : Shit happens, indeed. Who'd you go with? There's a ton of print-on-demand t-shirt companies out there, but Teespring integrates so neatly with Facebook it's hard to turn down. Print Aura has a good rep, from what I can tell, and they've got a Shopify app as well (as well as integration with storenvy and Etsy)

 

[juan917]

@juan917 : Shit happens, indeed. Who'd you go with? There's a ton of print-on-demand t-shirt companies out there, but Teespring integrates so neatly with Facebook it's hard to turn down. Print Aura has a good rep, from what I can tell, and they've got a Shopify app as well (as well as integration with storenvy and Etsy)

Teespring

 

[Ricardo's]

Overly emotional men cannot be trusted. Be glad he showed you this now instead of later.

 

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[FastNAwesome]

Good riddance.

Better to lose such a "friend" now, and over a small thing - than later.


I remember my first band - studio owner agreed to help us record the whole album for a certain price per song we were able to scrape together. As first songs started to materialize, and it turned out they're quite good and everyone who hears them likes them - he suddenly "realized" he couldn't fulfil his promise, unless we were willing to share with him all future revenues (and still pay the agreed price!)
No album recorded, no profit for anyone. But I started realizing what people can be like.


Not everyone has "crab mentality" - there are friends who stay friends regardless of how much each of them is (not) successful. Those are the people to cherish.

But many people do have it and try to put you down and demotivate you. While at the same time actually being good friends and willing to help. As long as you stay at their level or close.


And there are some straight up envious people out there. Some will just envy you. Some will see you as a competitor and try to put you down more intently.


This has always came with any form of success I've ever had.

 

[Andy Black]

Your best friend for a decade, someone you see as a brother, falls out with you over something as trivial as that?

Maybe it IS a misunderstanding.

But a true friend would want to resolve it, not give you the silent treatment.


See ya (you big girl's blouse).



@Vigilante posted a quote a while back: "Winners focus on moving forward. (Losers focus on winners.)"

Life's too short. Keep moving forward.



Personally, I'd use another quote and keep plugging away at the t-shirt business. (As a mental FU.)

If he comes back to you then mention it, and tell him he's been a drama queen.

What would a real friend do?

 

[LightHouse]

I think a lot of the answers here would be different if we were reading the other side of the story.

I'd actually like to read his side of it, before I'd ever say one way or another.

 

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[evanthebarbarian]

@LightHouse , completely agree. I'm sure he feels just as screwed over as I do right now. But he's not telling me his side of the story. All I've got is what it looked like (and felt like) from this angle.

 

[Mr4213]

Hey folks. Name's Evan. New here. Just had a fight with a friend the other day that I'm still trying to wrap my head around. Hope you can shed some light and reassure me and/or point me in the right direction.

Few weeks ago, a long-time friend posted a joke on Facebook, said it might make a good bumper sticker. Thought: "Wish I had come up with that." A couple days later, we're out hiking and he mentions it again. "That's pretty good," I said. "Mind if I put that on a t-shirt?" Sure, he says. Go for it.

So over the last week I'd been boning up on print-on-demand sites like Teespring and PrintAura, cramming on Facebook Ads and targeting niches. I tell him what I've been doing, and why. I setup the Facebook page, and show him. I get the design back from the guy on Fiverr, I tell him. A day or so later I launch it all, start the ad campaign rolling, and tag him on the post.

"Shitty," he says. "Are you really trying to make money off my idea? It's not funny anymore."

I text him and ask if he's serious, he gave me permission, I've been transparent the whole way, etc. Says he doesn't "have the time" to talk to me right then.

I try to brush it off at first, thinking we'll talk later, but as the hour passes I just get more upset. He was my best friend, I've known him for a decade, I loved him like a brother and he legit broke my heart. Who does he think I am? What does he think I am? Somebody out to screw him? If he had a problem with what I was doing why didn't he just f***ing say something? Did he think I would risk our friendship over a stupid t-shirt? I text him all this, get no reply. And later I think: Yes. Yes, he actually does think all those things about me. And maybe about everyone.

It's been a few days and I'm still in my head rehearsing the tongue-lashing I'd give him if I ever saw him again. And I'm still heartbroken that a guy that I respected, valued, and looked up to, saw as a mirror image of myself in some ways, didn't see me in the same light. And I'm angry. Almost as angry as I was ten years ago when I found out my ex-girlfriend had been cheating on me. It's that same quality of righteous and incredulous anger, y'know?

What I think? I think he never actually expected me to do anything with the idea. Because he never actually planned to do anything with the idea. So when he saw how easy it would've been to just execute and not dream on it, it pissed him off. But it doesn't help.

Anyway, total rant. Bad introduction to the forum I guess. Hope it can help someone, in some way. But mainly I just needed to get it off my chest.

You executed and he didn't. He's salty that you actually jumped in and he's sitting on the sidelines.

I wouldn't worry about it too much.

 

[Vigilante]

I almost lost my best lifetime friend once over business. At the end of the day, I decided the friendship was worth more to me than the business.

 

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[evanthebarbarian]

I almost lost my best lifetime friend once over business. At the end of the day, I decided the friendship was worth more to me than the business.

How did you resolve it?

 

[IrishSpring600]

His idea...

That you acted upon.

Good job! Now show him this thread and turn his life around, flip his life-upside down, and send him to propelling himself to take action!