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Your Tomorrow Depends on Your Choices Today

Runum

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I was talking to my advanced ageing dad the other day. He was marveling at the things I had taught his granddaughter. These are lessons I learned from reading and meeting people with advanced visions of life. People like RussH, SteveO , MJ , Kung Fu Steve, the Mariani's, Dave H, and so many others I fail to remember have helped me. I owe thanks to them all.

The most important., self empowering lesson I believe I taught my kid was that you have the ability to make choices in life. However, what you cannot choose is those choices you make now will absolutely impact your life later. Freedoms with responsibilities.

My dad tells me when he was a teen his father simply told him it was time to get a job. There was no counseling about future dreams and goals, no vision. I am not bashing him, my grandfather did the best that he knew how at the time. That was how his father spoke to him. Very simple, get a job, punch a clock, live a life, reproduce, perpetuate, exist.

My dad left when I was 12. I saw him occasionally during the teen years but there was not much wisdom imparted. He tells me now that he did not know anything about motivating and planning for the future. I agree, that was part of my parent’s problems in marriage, neither one of them seemed to have a plan. They were not on the same page.

I, myself, did not understand this concept until I was in my 40's.

My kid is grown now but she is actively and independently pursuing her dream, her vision. She clearly understands that today’s decisions and actions impact her future. She understands her future is clearly her responsibility. She is not perfect but has learned to adjust and keep pushing. I am very proud of her.

If anyone bothers to read this, this is what I hope you take from this story:

Your decisions and actions today will have an effect on your tomorrows. You are where you are today because of decisions you made yesterday. This is true for health, finances, education, geography. Even the little decisions have an effect. Even the cheats on your dreams have an effect. You will have to sacrifice, to be inconvenienced, to achieve those dreams and goals.

It is your life. It is your decision. Life does suck sometimes. Life is tough sometimes. Life plays rough sometimes. Life doesn’t always play fair. But you will never have the success you dream about without making the day to day effort to move in that direction. Your dreams will never happen for you without you.

It is tough to see a mid 80’s great grandfather just coming to these realizations. I can look back at so many missed opportunities, so much pain that was unnecessary. This is not bitterness or sadness coming from me. We all do the best we can do to live life.

This is reflecting on life and choices. This is passing on lessons and knowledge to others. So many newbies come here to MJ's Fastlane and start out with flash and fire and fade away. Newbies see the dream, the end goal, but they do not see the choices and sacrifices that need to be made. Life gets tough and they quit pursuing their vision.

Teach your kids well. Empower them. Show them that knowledge, planning, practice, and sacrifice are what it takes to get where they want. Let them play and make mistakes. Mistakes are valuable learning opportunities. Let them feel the results of the mistakes. They need to know the feeling of disappointment and the joy of success. Start early with your kids and they will have the tools to make their own success.

I wish you well on your journey.
 
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Runum

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Negative example:

People during the lockdowns on FB and ordering from Amazon while complaining about Zuckerburg and Bezos. Then I ask, "What have you done to further yourself in the past? What are you doing today to get where you want to be?" Crickets. That was me in my past.
 

MJ DeMarco

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Awesome post Greg, couldn't agree more, as if I written it myself. Upgrade to minimally notable.

Poison pens -- limiting, negative beliefs that are writing a story not of your liking. Change those pens, and you change the story.
 

SteveO

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is your life. It is your decision. Life does suck sometimes. Life is tough sometimes. Life plays rough sometimes. Life doesn’t always play fair. But you will never have the success you dream about without making the day to day effort to move in that direction. Your dreams will never happen for you without you.
Great post!

I want to comment on the section above.

It is important to have tough portions of your life. This prepares you and gives you perspective.

Fairness is part of perspective. It is also "us" as human beings attempting to compare ourselves with others. It is difficult but, these should be dropped from our thoughts.

As a society we are spoiled. Most of us don't understand what tough is. Look at the parts of history where life, health, food, shelter... nothing was guaranteed. People died. People did not have comforts that we are afforded. Our modern day complaints should fall on deaf ears.

"Move in that direction". Powerful... but not simple to understand.

To move in the direction means to take action... and continue to take action. You can have everything you want by continuing to move in the direction that you "want".

Life can be so simple if that is what we choose. Especially if we figure out how to not take life so seriously.
 
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Raedrum

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Great enlightenment @Runum, as MJ said, choice of commitment is what make you closer and closer to your goal each days.

I've read a book from Taisen Deshimaru about Zazen (a specific form of meditation) and his breakout was that in lieu of seeking to reach a goal, you must consider the practice (applicable to choices and commitment) as the goal itself. The practice and commitment are the ideal, not the holy nirvana.

I'm currently in the process of stopping weed smoking (been a daily smoker since 10 years) I'm struggling, but I'm already feeling the good effects. Next I plan to stop tobacco, alcohol and even sugar.

It is a daily battle, and I must commit to the choice of not smoking instead of smoking, again and again until it become not a choice, but a habit :) It is a choice today that will make tomorrow better.
 

Runum

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I completely forgot about this post. I was reminded by @Awakened2022. Thank you.

A lot has changed in in 2 years due to my choices. I chose to live life and travel during Covid, rather than isolate, and saw a lot of beautiful locations and met a lot of great people. It was a great experience. Unfortunately, Covid caught me and we had a fight for my life. Fortunately, I had made the choice to take care of my health and I survived, although with a stroke and one less leg. I am happy and back to restoring my health to the extent that I can.

I also chose to get into some real estate in 2006 and it provided some revenue while we traveled and while I was in the hospital. I also liquidated the last of that real estate recently.

I had many base hits throughout the years but never hit the homerun. I am not a millionaire but I am in a much better position now than i would have been had I not made those choices years ago.

Think about it. Since 2006 we went through an unforeseen Great Recession and Pandemic and I am also 17 years older.

Life is not perfect. The only guarantee is that time passes. Those choices I made came with sacrifice and pain, there were awesome days and days that sucked. Time didn't stop.

Yes, the economy has changed and will continue to change, you will get older. No one has a crystal ball and the news is all negative but EVERYDAY deals are being made, money is exchanging hands, people are living and dying. All you can do is make positive choices to move your life in the direction you want.

May the winds of fortune be forever in your favor.
 

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Great post @Runum, thanks for sharing.

Your decisions and actions today will have an effect on your tomorrows. You are where you are today because of decisions you made yesterday. This is true for health, finances, education, geography. Even the little decisions have an effect. Even the cheats on your dreams have an effect. You will have to sacrifice, to be inconvenienced, to achieve those dreams and goals.
I'm just about to turn 30 and this part hit me hard. I've spent almost my whole life with a scattered focus, constantly doing the wrong things, making decisions based on fear, and not relentlessly pursuing my goals.

This post is a great reminder to maintain focus, relentlessly pursue our goals, and try to enjoy the journey - including the mistakes and tough times - along the way.
 
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WJK

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I completely forgot about this post. I was reminded by @Awakened2022. Thank you.

A lot has changed in in 2 years due to my choices. I chose to live life and travel during Covid, rather than isolate, and saw a lot of beautiful locations and met a lot of great people. It was a great experience. Unfortunately, Covid caught me and we had a fight for my life. Fortunately, I had made the choice to take care of my health and I survived, although with a stroke and one less leg. I am happy and back to restoring my health to the extent that I can.

I also chose to get into some real estate in 2006 and it provided some revenue while we traveled and while I was in the hospital. I also liquidated the last of that real estate recently.

I had many base hits throughout the years but never hit the homerun. I am not a millionaire but I am in a much better position now than i would have been had I not made those choices years ago.

Think about it. Since 2006 we went through an unforeseen Great Recession and Pandemic and I am also 17 years older.

Life is not perfect. The only guarantee is that time passes. Those choices I made came with sacrifice and pain, there were awesome days and days that sucked. Time didn't stop.

Yes, the economy has changed and will continue to change, you will get older. No one has a crystal ball and the news is all negative but EVERYDAY deals are being made, money is exchanging hands, people are living and dying. All you can do is make positive choices to move your life in the direction you want.

May the winds of fortune be forever in your favor.
I have my nose against that window again and my heart is finally quiet. I'm getting very comfortable in my life after years and years of slugging it out step by step.
 

amp0193

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@Runum Just saw the OP after your recent bump.

Context: My daughter's 3rd grade is doing a "market day" project as part of IB curriculum. They are making products, and will all sell to each other with play money in 2 weeks. They had to pitch their teacher for investment, and she loaned them money that they have to pay back out of their profits. Very cool unit, and the kids are so excited to be flexing their creativity and having fun (my daughter's group is making snake habitat accessories).

As a successful local business owner I came in to talk to the whole 3rd grade about how I got started in business (I showed lots and lots of pictures!, and they had previously watched one of my tv segments in class), and then I just answered all the questions they had.

Was very special to know that I was able to maybe make some lightbulbs light up that day.

My daughter just turned 9, and we are getting into the fun years of deep questioning about life and choices and futures.


We are about to make some big life moves as a family that wouldn't have been possible if I hadn't made choices 10 years ago that set me down this path. And along the way, I've made plenty of bad choices that threatened to upend it all.


Whether my destination is a series of base hits, or something more, it will nevertheless be a far more interesting journey than the track I was on previously, so I don't really have any regrets. You try, make mistakes, learn, and try again.
 

Runum

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@Runum Just saw the OP after your recent bump.

Context: My daughter's 3rd grade is doing a "market day" project as part of IB curriculum. They are making products, and will all sell to each other with play money in 2 weeks. They had to pitch their teacher for investment, and she loaned them money that they have to pay back out of their profits. Very cool unit, and the kids are so excited to be flexing their creativity and having fun (my daughter's group is making snake habitat accessories).

As a successful local business owner I came in to talk to the whole 3rd grade about how I got started in business (I showed lots and lots of pictures!, and they had previously watched one of my tv segments in class), and then I just answered all the questions they had.

Was very special to know that I was able to maybe make some lightbulbs light up that day.

My daughter just turned 9, and we are getting into the fun years of deep questioning about life and choices and futures.
That is amazing! I still say your "bicycle bus" to school event was cool too. Your influence in your community is inspiring. I have seen plenty of 10 year old kids with no dream or vision. You know how valuable this unit is for those kids. Congratulations.
 
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amp0193

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That is amazing! I still say your "bicycle bus" to school event was cool too. Your influence in your community is inspiring. I have seen plenty of 10 year old kids with no dream or vision. You know how valuable this unit is for those kids. Congratulations.
So 2 years ago I volunteered as a "mentor" for the high school entrepreneurship class.

I expected kids who would be excited to learn about business.

I got kids who wanted an easy throwaway elective.

I don't know if it was that particular class, the post-covid year of the zombie teen, or just normal Gen Z shit or what, but it was an absolutely depressing experience that left me feeling hopeless rather than impactful. I would do an amazing 30 min talk every couple of months with so many gold nugget takeaways... and it was just crickets. No questions. No engagement. Phones in the laps.

The teacher asked me back the next year, but I declined. Had it gone more like the 3rd grade presentation, I would've done it in a heartbeat.



And the bike bus is still going strong! Had 40-50 people out at last weeks! Kids are getting active, making friends, and having fun.
 

Runum

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So 2 years ago I volunteered as a "mentor" for the high school entrepreneurship class.

I expected kids who would be excited to learn about business.

I got kids who wanted an easy throwaway elective.

I don't know if it was that particular class, the post-covid year of the zombie teen, or just normal Gen Z shit or what, but it was an absolutely depressing experience that left me feeling hopeless rather than impactful. I would do an amazing 30 min talk every couple of months with so many gold nugget takeaways... and it was just crickets. No questions. No engagement. Phones in the laps.

The teacher asked me back the next year, but I declined. Had it gone more like the 3rd grade presentation, I would've done it in a heartbeat.



And the bike bus is still going strong! Had 40-50 people out at last weeks! Kids are getting active, making friends, and having fun.
I taught at a high school credit recovery school one semester in 2009 and I had the same experience. I had high hopes, there were lots of big talkers, I had zero influence. It was depressing.

I did meet one of my former 5th graders at the gym recently. He is a fireman now. He thanked me for all the cool STEM stuff we did back then. He's a go getter.
 

amp0193

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I did meet one of my former 5th graders at the gym recently. He is a fireman now. He thanked me for all the cool STEM stuff we did back then. He's a go getter.
These are the interactions I like.

One of my former 6th graders was my life guard at the pool this past summer and we had a good talk.

I actually really liked being a high school band teacher. Because by high school, you're only still in band class because you like it. There were a few exception to that, but by and large, you felt like you were making a difference and they were eating up what you had to say.
 
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