What to "Unlearn"?

[RHL]

Unlearn osmosis and learn control.

Most of our culture makes money off of you by the incredible number of things you allow to happen to you in a day, things that enter your life through external pressure rather than willful choice. Like osmosis.

Say you're checking out, buying laundry detergent and toilet paper, stuff you really need, and a soda is calling your name. So you buy it.

You get home and have 5 hours before bed. Nothing to do. But HBO has so many streaming shows online now. So you watch.

Your child is growing up fast. But your boss really appreciates it when you stay late. And he's kinda twisting your arm. So you do.

Unlearn life happening to you and learn control. Every second-where did it go? Every calorie-what was it? Every cent-how did it come and where did it go?

You'll see unbelievable changes in your life just from doing this.

 

[MidwestLandlord]

Speaking of "continuous improvement"...

Unlearn action faking.

Seriously.

The world is full of people that talk and talk and talk but never DO anything.

"I'm gonna get in shape!"
"I'm gonna start a business!"
"Self improvement is, like, super important to me! See? I read ALL the self help books!"
"At the gym! Better post that shit on facebook!"

This is why I don't lift with anybody.

Them, week #1:

"Let's lift together! I'm gonna get swole bruh!!!"

Them, week #2:

"Man, I can't lift this week...gotta clip my toe nails"

So my #1 "unlearn immediately" item would be this constant talk, talk, talk, and instead do what other's don't...WORK.

(I'm not talking about anyone here specifically lol)

 

[MJ DeMarco]

I think the biggest things we have to unlearn are highlighted in Unscripted , specifically the hyerrealities section. Things like, named days, the illusion of freedom, and other conventional wisdom that is so conventional, that no one questions it.

Retirement can be at any age.
Retirement is not golf and shuffleboard.
Monday can be your best day of the week.
Our time is scarce, but money is not -- and yet, we're indirectly programmed for the opposite.

 

[Andy Black]

The belief that you're "not enough".

The belief that you "need" lots of stuff before you start.

The belief that more book learning will help when you finally engage the market.

The belief that passive income is, well, passive. You likely have to work your socks off to get to that point.

 

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[MidwestLandlord]

Unlearn having "goals"

My gosh I hate goals.

Action faking always starts with some ambiguous goal.

Know where you want to go, sure. But spending hours and hours writing goals that have no plan or process is completely backwards. This is taught for individuals and businesses both.(Anyone's who ever taken business classes will understand haha)

Plus, having goals gives no flexibility at all in building processes. Also, it's a sure fire way to make yourself feel like crap.

Why Goal Setting Doesn't Work

Why Successful People Don't Set Goals and You Shouldn't Either

 

[Andy Black]

Oh, and the belief that you can be in business without ever speaking to anyone.

 

[Shortypants]

Learned helplessness

Verstuurd vanaf mijn ALE-L21 met Tapatalk

 

[Nily]

That everyone is doing better than you.

Just found out that everyone is financing their Audi RS6, Ford Mustang, AMGs and Millenium Falcon lifestyle.

 

[Ninjakid]

I can't tell you what you need to unlearn because I'm not you, but here are some things that I have had to unlearn (and some I am still unlearning):

1. Your ability to do something is more important than your ability to sell yourself
2. You can't give value to anyone unless you can do X or have X amount of money
3. Your clients/customers always know exactly what they want
4. It takes a long time before you can make money without a job
5. You need to take drastic steps to improve your life (you can start small, and snowball from there)
6. You need to be an expert before you can sell a skill
7. Paying the least amount of money as possible is always the most important thing for clients and customers
8. You need to sacrifice everything in your life and give up all your free time to start a business
9. You can run on only having a cup of coffee for breakfast
10. Taking care of your mental and physical health is not as important as the work you do
11. Women will only like you if you're in perfect shape, have a job, are handsome, and have great social skills
12. People who are going to university/college are going to be more successful than you
13. most people know exactly what they are doing with their life
14. You need to quit gaming before you can be successful
15. Only things that make money are beneficial to your business
16. You need to wait until you're ready to start marketing yourself
17. You can become successful in your field alone
18. Clients will come back to you because of your skill over being a pleasure to work with
19. Money is always the most important thing
20. Being good at interacting with people or being bad at it is just your personality and you can't change it
21. You shouldn't flaunt all your skills and everything that makes you amazing to the world
22. You can never be successful until you get rid of your depression for good
23. Your mindset is more important than the actions you take every waking hour
24. You can do good work even if you aren't eating well, exercising, staying hydrated, and getting vitamin D
25. You have to meticulously plan every detail of your business before you start. You can't just start something, just about anything, and work towards it
26. People always follow certain social conventions, and it's not possible to convince someone of absolutely anything
27. Everyone else is normal, it's only you who are strange
28. Just because your parents and other people older than you may not know everything, they can't offer you valuable advice
29. Thinking you're smart means you are
30. You need to look "professional" or no one will take you seriously
31. You're in your prime during your 20s, everything else is downhill
32. If you're a male in your early 20s, it's impossible for you to experience a growth spurt
33. You should date as many people as possible while you're still young
34. You can't be an expert on something if you're still very young
35. Just doing something all the time makes you better at it
36. Working is always more important than spending time with family and friends
37. Experienced programmers don't frequently use google to find answers to things they don't understand
38. Knowing a programming language is more important as a developer than intrinsic skills such as creativity, grit, determination, problem-solving skills.
39. Saying you'll do something later because you don't feel like doing it now means you actually will do it later
40. The most sophisticated solution is often the best one
41. The most intelligent people are always the best at chess
42. The most intelligent people will always be the most accomplished
43. You have to personally have money to experience things in life
44. Money doesn't give you more opportunities to experience things in life
45. You have to marry the love of your life
46. The best way to help someone is by actively doing things for them

I could go on, but I'm gonna end it there.

 

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[BeFound Faithful]

Unlearn learning as the goal.

Many go back to school to make more money because that's what they've been taught to do to succeed.

Instead, learn to do.

 

[Ubermensch]

Nowadays is encouraged to have a mindset of continious improvement or learning however I considered as important to unlearn many of knowledge/beliefs that do not make us any favour reaching further goals.

What would you say that are 3 things to unlearn inmediately?

For me these are:

1. Focusing on traditional life goals.
2. Good things happens for those who wait.
3. Relax and do whatever others (peers, family, friends) are also doing.

Depends.

Before I dropped out of college, I had many things to "unlearn."

Most importantly, I had to "unlearn" most of what my parents taught me.

@Ubermensch relates to @Mattie because the teenage version of @Ubermensch years ago locked himself in his room and turned the Eminem knockin' in his headphones all the way the F*ck up.

Eventually, this "unlearning" resulted in a F*ck this, F*ck this, F*ck this directed at the notion of getting a degree, just so I could make $80,000 a year for the rest of my life.

Nowadays, $80,000 is just one payday for me.

More important than "unlearning," I think, is learning.

What to learn?

Learn to give up immediate gratification (the chocolate chip cookie, ice cream, apple pie and cake) in pursuit of a higher goal: a chick-magnet body.

Learn to set small goals, instead of setting lofty, mountainous goals.

Learn sales.

Learn how to close deals.

Learn to focus on each, individual step of the process - with the same degree of attention and focus that champions (Steve Jobs, Michael Jordan, Sir Richard Branson, Usain Bolt, Elon Musk, Muhammed Ali, Bruce Lee) apply to assure victory.

Learn to recognize the difference between genuine criticism and good, old-fashioned hate. Absorb the former, even if it stings when you do (it will only make you better). Disregard the latter, because most of them are just jealous and secretly love you.

Learn to recognize the difference between practical advice... and wishy-washy, new age, politically correct bullshit.

Learn to accept the fact that truth and reality are what they are; you cannot change them. The extent to which you change the world is related to the degree to which you study reality, accept for what it is - and then therefore understand how to manipulate it.

Learn to accept the fact that the truth will often most people, because the truth hurts.

Learn to recognize logical fallacies, and how to use critical thinking to analyze empirical data. Most humans do not think correctly. This merely offers opportunity for would-be shepherds of sheeple... or wolves.

Lean the facts about where you live. Do you have any idea how old the Universe is? How about the globe... any idea how old it is? Any idea how long life has existed on this planet? Human life?

Are you okay with being stupifyingly ignorant?

If not then learn, and never stop.

Learn that success truly is the best revenge, because it makes them all look so stupid, because their words are frozen in history, because they know that you know that they know that you won, and they lost.

Learn to not bet against the wrong person. Learn to bet on the right people, to find the positive allies in life that will help you grow.

Learn to find people that you can win with, who you can feel excited about their success in the same way you are excited about your own.

Learn that their words won't hurt you once you start hittin' your account with deposit after deposit, over and over - like Mike Tyson hittin' the bag, over and over.

Learn that there are some people that you should ally with, and some that you should never start a war with, because they'll remember.

There is nothing worse than a patient enemy with a long memory.

Lol. And learn to not take life too seriously.

Learn that true life means being free and untouchable.

 

[Olimac21]

Nowadays is encouraged to have a mindset of continious improvement or learning however I considered as important to unlearn many of knowledge/beliefs that do not make us any favour reaching further goals.

What would you say that are 3 things to unlearn inmediately?

For me these are:

1. Focusing on traditional life goals.
2. Good things happens for those who wait.
3. Relax and do whatever others (peers, family, friends) are also doing.

 

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[Andy Black]

Thats so true, people in general are very inconsistent with what they say vs what they do.

"Tell me what you've done and I'll tell you who you are."

Notice which threads get turned Gold? It isn't the bold declaration threads.

Here's a recent example by @Rcaraway1989:

• GOLD - How I lean startup’d my way to $240k+ on the saturated App Store

I think it was Rob Walling who came up with a nice rule of thumb: "Spend 50% of your time doing the work, and 50% of your time talking about it." (This is if you want you or your business to become known as an authority in your space.)

What he means is documenting what you've done, not talking about what you plan or hope to do.

 

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[Andy Black]

Monday can be your best day of the week.

I love Monday. It's so exciting. Like a New Years day every week!

 

[Ika]

Has he tried to actively work on making decisions?
Has he made an effort to make the right choices that lead to better decisions?
Has he worked on creating the habits to make decisions easier?
No

Because life happens to him.

That's why you have to unlear driving in the passenger seat.

Just so you know, I was in his exact situation a year ago.
The same problem, the same identity.

But I switched seats and took control.
And now I am exponentially better, and the problem is no longer a part of my identity.

Good changes take a lot of time, and a lot of work too.

Maybe add this to the list:
Unlearn the perception that lasting lifechanges can happen in a moment.
Unlearn to search for the "pill that will make you loose 20kg and make doctors hate you".

A process takes time, and while it can be simple, it takes work and sacrifice.

 

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[Mattie]

Ha ha! Hey! Don't knock it! Same here, Eminem gave me attitude, the inspiration to be a fighter, knock down all my obstacles.

The last seven years, I've unlearned everything there possibly is to unlearn in the conditioning of society. Perhaps rising above all the theories, the belief systems, opinions of others. The world is a kaleidoscope of cultural diversity. I remember graduating from college in 2011, I wanted to save the world. And frankly, the world needs to save itself. I can't save anyone. I understand I'm a teacher, messenger, and play my part.
My mind was limited in 2011, through the years I've expanded my horizons, educated myself further on my own. Perhaps the kaleidoscope is beautiful and ugly in its all hues.

Perfectionism is something I've learned doesn't exist. I used to think I needed to be this perfect person. It can be very nerve racking leaning on perfectionism. I've learned even if you've perfected yourself, the rest of the world will remain imperfect. As Entrepreneurs know are at a different level the than main population. Perhaps it is a key element which got me here and will take me the distance, but also has to be in balance.

What people say, may be out of lack of education, ignorance, and sometimes it's best letting it go, and not taking it personal. It's not always about you.

I remember when I graduated in 2011, my adviser stated, I know you have the potential to do great things in the world. First you have to learn to advocate for yourself, before you advocate for others. It's very true. No one will be your advocate like you. No one will look out for your best interest, but you. No one can seek out the truth for you.

The last seven years, I've read more blogs, forums, vlogs, listened to videos, and done my work. I can say 95% of the time it's all crap. And if you're lucky enough to find a forum like this one, you'll get quality information. I remember in 2015 one of my friends I met in here left the forum. I stuck around regardless. I would say this is part of becoming a true leader. Even if other's can't hack the Fastlane Forum, doesn't mean you can't.

"How bad do you want it?" The world doesn't really care whether you succeed or not. Most people don't give a rats a$$ about your dreams, project, or goals in life. They are self-absorbed, think about how you're not paying attention to them, rejecting them, get lost in their personal experiences, fears insecurities, and end up trying to self-sabotage your success in Entrepreneurship.

Either way, you're the boat. They're water skiing behind the boat. And sometimes like this year, whether they're ready or not, you have to press on the gas and drag them through the huge waves, wakes, and bumpy ride if they're not out of the matrix yet.

You can't wait for everyone in life to catch up intellectually, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, or sexually. When the opportunity comes you have to take it. I believe when we're Entrepreneurs, that boat speeds very fast, and sure sometimes we do slow down, but other times we just have to keep going fast and hope others catch up with us along the way.

I see this in my son. He's at the same place as me, but other individuals are still way behind. You can never play small for other people. They're learning the same lessons, and they never learn unless you be the leader, the first ones in pioneering a new frontier. The old world is fading away whether they like it or not. Whether they're ready or not, the old rules aren't always working today. That forces us to adapt, adjust, problem solve, problem shoot, and we'll always be the Villain or Hero in someone's eyes at the same time.

The Villain for those who remain in victim mentality. The Hero for those who are ready to learn.

Bottom line stop living life for other individuals. Stop people pleasing. Stop trying to fit in. You're not meant to fit in if you're a leader.

Copy cats are everywhere. The same information repeatedly trending. Be unique and creative.

You can never avoid conflict. Never avoid facing obstacles. Never avoid change and transformation. It's just the way it is. Stop making up excuses why your wasting time, delaying progress, and creating a better future for yourself.

Trust yourself. I can't tell you how many times people projected a false belief on me, and knew nothing about Introverts.

Example: In high school I thought I was stupid because people kept telling me I was. In college a straight A Student.

Know when to listen and other times learn to shut off the stuff people say. Everything isn't worth listening to.

Ignorance keeps showing up lately. I've gone up to bat with some Millennials recently who are so sure they are authorities.
One of them got mad at me, because I've studied more. And wanted me to feel sorry for her, because she attacked me first trying to thrust her dominate personality. When I called her out on it, it's simple, when you're a Mental Toughness Coach, are you so sure you can get in someone's head, manipulate emotions, feelings. I think the woman learned, it didn't work with me.

While text books may give you information, what she lacked was experience. Never assume your opponent is at the same level. I believe I've been teaching a lot of Millennials they're degree won't get them anywhere, if they don't know how to control their emotions, thoughts, and feelings. While I know this makes them angry, it's quite the same thing I learned in Fast lane. Iron sharpening Iron.

 

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[luniac]

Unlearn bad habits, learn good habits.
Everything else will fall into place automatically.

 

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[letter9]

The belief that you're "not enough".

The belief that you "need" lots of stuff before you start.

The belief that more book learning will help when you finally engage the market.

The belief that passive income is, well, passive. You likely have to work your socks off to get to that point.

I just need one more book and I will start.
(In reality just afraid to pull the trigger)

 

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[Ika]

Unlearn having a victim mentality.
Unlearn connecting your identity with your failures.
Unlearn that life just happens to you.


The other day a friend of mine told me this:
"You know, I'm really bad at making decisions. I don't like making decisions. I just can't decide.
But I guess it's just who I am, I was never good at making decisions."

He thinks his lack of decision making skills is somehow engrained in his DNA.
And because of that, he is not lacking the skill of making decisions but he is the 'bad-at-deciding-guy'.
It's a part of his identity.

Has he tried to actively work on making decisions?
Has he made an effort to make the right choices that lead to better decisions?
Has he worked on creating the habits to make decisions easier?
No

Because life happens to him.


That's why you have to unlear driving in the passenger seat.

 

[Process]

"Selling" isn't tricking or forcing someone to buy.

Selling is demonstrating and/or painting a word picture of how the right people will have their desire fulfilled. (fear, pain, greed, anxiety, envy, etc.)(all are crisscrossed)

VALUE EXAMPLE: Show someone who has indicated how they're sick of... shivering while shoveling snow... how a snowblower will be less of a pain in the butt at getting rid of the snow.

So that way others with the same issue will ask where they got it from. Then they'll look at the name of the brand on the device and find it on the internet. Or maybe a phone number/mail order address is also on the sticker.(since some $$$ demographics find the internet confusing).

And since you've helped all those folks, you can keep their info on a customer list. You can then sell them things like salt, hats, gloves, etc to help them clear their driveway while avoiding the cold and waste of time.

Every dollar and bit of process invested builds towards a potent Productocracy.

Picture someone who knows how to start a fire and can locate an abundance of really dry wood. Lighter fluid would only accelerate the impact.

Cliché & BAD EXAMPLE: Convince/Pressure someone with too much snow to buy snow. You know... "selling ice to eskimos." Or maybe they fool someone on the brink of hypothermia to buy magic shorts that are the 4587% darn shorts ever or 300% money back!

This would result in them telling everyone not to buy from you. Soon enough you'd burn out your potential market and have to go traveling like a roaming snakeoil "doctor".

This would be a revolving-door business. Even an advertising ninja would be living hand to mouth. Doesn't matter how much they are "making". They're dousing lighter fluid on sand.

 

[AndrewNC]

1. What's your goal?
2. What's preventing you from having it now, already (including answers such as it'll take time and "instill have to take action")?

When you exhaust the list for #2, this awareness should be enough to begin to transcend it.

 

[Andy Black]

Unlearn having "goals"

My gosh I hate goals.

Action faking always starts with some ambiguous goal.

Know where you want to go, sure. But spending hours and hours writing goals that have no plan or process is completely backwards. This is taught for individuals and businesses both.(Anyone's who ever taken business classes will understand haha)

Plus, having goals gives no flexibility at all in building processes. Also, it's a sure fire way to make yourself feel like crap.

Why Goal Setting Doesn't Work

Why Successful People Don't Set Goals and You Shouldn't Either

Here's another one:

• Forget About Setting Goals. Focus on This Instead.

 

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[Andy Black]

Unlearn learning as the goal.

Many go back to school to make more money because that's what they've been taught to do to succeed.

Instead, learn to do.

Many PAY MONEY to go back to school to make more money because that's what they've been taught to do to succeed.

OK if you're going to be a technician and employed. Not so much if you're going to setup your own business...

 

[Gareth]

Finally unlearned...

- Someone will sell you their "money machine" cheaply

 

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[cutthroughstatic]

The biggest thing to unlearn? The consumption-loop programming that has been imbedded in our brains by society and culture.

Were constantly bombarded with cues to consume more. Whether it's entertainment or material goods or experiences, it's never ending.

I check my focus almost hourly to ask, is what I'm doing focused on MY consumption, or focused on providing value for others?

 

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[Olimac21]

The biggest thing to unlearn? The consumption-loop programming that has been imbedded in our brains by society and culture.

Were constantly bombarded with cues to consume more. Whether it's entertainment or material goods or experiences, it's never ending.

I check my focus almost hourly to ask, is what I'm doing focused on MY consumption, or focused on providing value for others?

This is a big one and I would say one of the most important. Have anyone here checked the documentary "The century of the self" by Adam Curtis? or movies like Fight Club where the consumption loop programming is well explained.

 

[Mattie]

@Ubermensch relates to @Mattie because the teenage version of @Ubermensch years ago locked himself in his room and turned the Eminem knockin' in his headphones all the way the F*ck up.

Ha ha! Hey! Don't knock it! Same here, Eminem gave me attitude, the inspiration to be a fighter, knock down all my obstacles.

 

[FastNAwesome]

This is why I don't lift with anybody.

Them, week #1:

"Let's lift together! I'm gonna get swole bruh!!!"

Them, week #2:

"Man, I can't lift this week...gotta clip my toe nails"

You have strong willed friends! Compared to mine at least So far 3-4 of them asked me to join me at the gym. But 7am is too early for them, so we move it to 8am. Then in the evening they call me to ask if we can move it to 10-11. They all lasted a single day. Oh, and if there's even a little cloud in the sky, forget about jogging, don't you see the storm is coming?

Unlearn life happening to you and learn control. Every second-where did it go? Every calorie-what was it? Every cent-how did it come and where did it go?

The entire post is awesome. But just want to +1 this. We're not even aware how much money slips through our hands. You don't even have to earn more. Just by watching what you do with your current cash flow things can change more than you would believe.

I'm not even talking skimping or anything like that - just watching what you buy, and why.

 

[Olimac21]

You have strong willed friends! Compared to mine at least So far 3-4 of them asked me to join me at the gym. But 7am is too early for them, so we move it to 8am. Then in the evening they call me to ask if we can move it to 10-11. They all lasted a single day. Oh, and if there's even a little cloud in the sky, forget about jogging, don't you see the storm is coming?




The entire post is awesome. But just want to +1 this. We're not even aware how much money slips through our hands. You don't even have to earn more. Just by watching what you do with your current cash flow things can change more than you would believe.

I'm not even talking skimping or anything like that - just watching what you buy, and why.

One thing do related to people is if you find a group of like minded discipline people they can help you level up whatever you are trying to do, I also see it from that side of the coin.

Thats true money management can be much easier with a bit of simplicity and awareness from our side.

 

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[BeFound Faithful]

I think the biggest things we have to unlearn are highlighted in Unscripted , specifically the hyerrealities section. Things like, named days, the illusion of freedom, and other conventional wisdom that is so conventional, that no one questions it.

Retirement can be at any age.
Retirement is not golf and shuffleboard.
Monday can be your best day of the week.
Our time is scarce, but money is not -- and yet, we're indirectly programmed for the opposite.

Started my second time through Unscripted , just reading the hyper-realities section this morning (media, education, government, financial-freedom speak, even naive family and friends —got to fight the good fight against the whole scripted mentality). Good stuff