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HOT TOPIC What to "Unlearn"?

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Olimac21

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Nowadays is encouraged to have a mindset of continious improvement or learning however I considered as important to unlearn many of knowledge/beliefs that do not make us any favour reaching further goals.

What would you say that are 3 things to unlearn inmediately?

For me these are:

1. Focusing on traditional life goals.
2. Good things happens for those who wait.
3. Relax and do whatever others (peers, family, friends) are also doing.
 

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MidwestLandlord

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Speaking of "continuous improvement"...

Unlearn action faking.

Seriously.

The world is full of people that talk and talk and talk but never DO anything.

"I'm gonna get in shape!"
"I'm gonna start a business!"
"Self improvement is, like, super important to me! See? I read ALL the self help books!"
"At the gym! Better post that shit on facebook!"

This is why I don't lift with anybody.

Them, week #1:

"Let's lift together! I'm gonna get swole bruh!!!"

Them, week #2:

"Man, I can't lift this week...gotta clip my toe nails"

So my #1 "unlearn immediately" item would be this constant talk, talk, talk, and instead do what other's don't...WORK.

(I'm not talking about anyone here specifically lol)
 

Andy Black

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The belief that you're "not enough".

The belief that you "need" lots of stuff before you start.

The belief that more book learning will help when you finally engage the market.

The belief that passive income is, well, passive. You likely have to work your socks off to get to that point.
 

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Oh, and the belief that you can be in business without ever speaking to anyone.
 

MidwestLandlord

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Unlearn having "goals"

My gosh I hate goals.

Action faking always starts with some ambiguous goal.

Know where you want to go, sure. But spending hours and hours writing goals that have no plan or process is completely backwards. This is taught for individuals and businesses both.(Anyone's who ever taken business classes will understand haha)

Plus, having goals gives no flexibility at all in building processes. Also, it's a sure fire way to make yourself feel like crap.

Why Goal Setting Doesn't Work

Why Successful People Don't Set Goals and You Shouldn't Either
 

letter9

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The belief that you're "not enough".

The belief that you "need" lots of stuff before you start.

The belief that more book learning will help when you finally engage the market.

The belief that passive income is, well, passive. You likely have to work your socks off to get to that point.
I just need one more book and I will start.
(In reality just afraid to pull the trigger)
 

MJ DeMarco

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I think the biggest things we have to unlearn are highlighted in Unscripted, specifically the hyerrealities section. Things like, named days, the illusion of freedom, and other conventional wisdom that is so conventional, that no one questions it.

Retirement can be at any age.
Retirement is not golf and shuffleboard.
Monday can be your best day of the week.
Our time is scarce, but money is not -- and yet, we're indirectly programmed for the opposite.
 

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Andy Black

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Unlearn having "goals"

My gosh I hate goals.

Action faking always starts with some ambiguous goal.

Know where you want to go, sure. But spending hours and hours writing goals that have no plan or process is completely backwards. This is taught for individuals and businesses both.(Anyone's who ever taken business classes will understand haha)

Plus, having goals gives no flexibility at all in building processes. Also, it's a sure fire way to make yourself feel like crap.

Why Goal Setting Doesn't Work

Why Successful People Don't Set Goals and You Shouldn't Either
Here's another one:
 

Andy Black

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Andy Black

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Unlearn learning as the goal.

Many go back to school to make more money because that's what they've been taught to do to succeed.

Instead, learn to do.
Many PAY MONEY to go back to school to make more money because that's what they've been taught to do to succeed.

OK if you're going to be a technician and employed. Not so much if you're going to setup your own business...
 

Ninjakid

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I can't tell you what you need to unlearn because I'm not you, but here are some things that I have had to unlearn (and some I am still unlearning):

  1. Your ability to do something is more important than your ability to sell yourself
  2. You can't give value to anyone unless you can do X or have X amount of money
  3. Your clients/customers always know exactly what they want
  4. It takes a long time before you can make money without a job
  5. You need to take drastic steps to improve your life (you can start small, and snowball from there)
  6. You need to be an expert before you can sell a skill
  7. Paying the least amount of money as possible is always the most important thing for clients and customers
  8. You need to sacrifice everything in your life and give up all your free time to start a business
  9. You can run on only having a cup of coffee for breakfast
  10. Taking care of your mental and physical health is not as important as the work you do
  11. Women will only like you if you're in perfect shape, have a job, are handsome, and have great social skills
  12. People who are going to university/college are going to be more successful than you
  13. most people know exactly what they are doing with their life
  14. You need to quit gaming before you can be successful
  15. Only things that make money are beneficial to your business
  16. You need to wait until you're ready to start marketing yourself
  17. You can become successful in your field alone
  18. Clients will come back to you because of your skill over being a pleasure to work with
  19. Money is always the most important thing
  20. Being good at interacting with people or being bad at it is just your personality and you can't change it
  21. You shouldn't flaunt all your skills and everything that makes you amazing to the world
  22. You can never be successful until you get rid of your depression for good
  23. Your mindset is more important than the actions you take every waking hour
  24. You can do good work even if you aren't eating well, exercising, staying hydrated, and getting vitamin D
  25. You have to meticulously plan every detail of your business before you start. You can't just start something, just about anything, and work towards it
  26. People always follow certain social conventions, and it's not possible to convince someone of absolutely anything
  27. Everyone else is normal, it's only you who are strange
  28. Just because your parents and other people older than you may not know everything, they can't offer you valuable advice
  29. Thinking you're smart means you are
  30. You need to look "professional" or no one will take you seriously
  31. You're in your prime during your 20s, everything else is downhill
  32. If you're a male in your early 20s, it's impossible for you to experience a growth spurt
  33. You should date as many people as possible while you're still young
  34. You can't be an expert on something if you're still very young
  35. Just doing something all the time makes you better at it
  36. Working is always more important than spending time with family and friends
  37. Experienced programmers don't frequently use google to find answers to things they don't understand
  38. Knowing a programming language is more important as a developer than intrinsic skills such as creativity, grit, determination, problem-solving skills.
  39. Saying you'll do something later because you don't feel like doing it now means you actually will do it later
  40. The most sophisticated solution is often the best one
  41. The most intelligent people are always the best at chess
  42. The most intelligent people will always be the most accomplished
  43. You have to personally have money to experience things in life
  44. Money doesn't give you more opportunities to experience things in life
  45. You have to marry the love of your life
  46. The best way to help someone is by actively doing things for them
I could go on, but I'm gonna end it there.
 
Last edited:

BeFound Faithful

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I think the biggest things we have to unlearn are highlighted in Unscripted, specifically the hyerrealities section. Things like, named days, the illusion of freedom, and other conventional wisdom that is so conventional, that no one questions it.

Retirement can be at any age.
Retirement is not golf and shuffleboard.
Monday can be your best day of the week.
Our time is scarce, but money is not -- and yet, we're indirectly programmed for the opposite.
Started my second time through Unscripted, just reading the hyper-realities section this morning (media, education, government, financial-freedom speak, even naive family and friends —got to fight the good fight against the whole scripted mentality). Good stuff
 

cutthroughstatic

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The biggest thing to unlearn? The consumption-loop programming that has been imbedded in our brains by society and culture.

Were constantly bombarded with cues to consume more. Whether it's entertainment or material goods or experiences, it's never ending.

I check my focus almost hourly to ask, is what I'm doing focused on MY consumption, or focused on providing value for others?
 

RHL

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Unlearn osmosis and learn control.

Most of our culture makes money off of you by the incredible number of things you allow to happen to you in a day, things that enter your life through external pressure rather than willful choice. Like osmosis.

Say you're checking out, buying laundry detergent and toilet paper, stuff you really need, and a soda is calling your name. So you buy it.

You get home and have 5 hours before bed. Nothing to do. But HBO has so many streaming shows online now. So you watch.

Your child is growing up fast. But your boss really appreciates it when you stay late. And he's kinda twisting your arm. So you do.

Unlearn life happening to you and learn control. Every second-where did it go? Every calorie-what was it? Every cent-how did it come and where did it go?

You'll see unbelievable changes in your life just from doing this.
 

Ika

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Unlearn having a victim mentality.
Unlearn connecting your identity with your failures.
Unlearn that life just happens to you.


The other day a friend of mine told me this:
"You know, I'm really bad at making decisions. I don't like making decisions. I just can't decide.
But I guess it's just who I am, I was never good at making decisions."


He thinks his lack of decision making skills is somehow engrained in his DNA.
And because of that, he is not lacking the skill of making decisions but he is the 'bad-at-deciding-guy'.
It's a part of his identity.

Has he tried to actively work on making decisions?
Has he made an effort to make the right choices that lead to better decisions?
Has he worked on creating the habits to make decisions easier?
No

Because life happens to him.


That's why you have to unlear driving in the passenger seat.
 

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Ika

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Has he tried to actively work on making decisions?
Has he made an effort to make the right choices that lead to better decisions?
Has he worked on creating the habits to make decisions easier?
No

Because life happens to him.

That's why you have to unlear driving in the passenger seat.
Just so you know, I was in his exact situation a year ago.
The same problem, the same identity.

But I switched seats and took control.
And now I am exponentially better, and the problem is no longer a part of my identity.

Good changes take a lot of time, and a lot of work too.

Maybe add this to the list:
Unlearn the perception that lasting lifechanges can happen in a moment.
Unlearn to search for the "pill that will make you loose 20kg and make doctors hate you".

A process takes time, and while it can be simple, it takes work and sacrifice.
 
OP
OP
Olimac21

Olimac21

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Speaking of "continuous improvement"...

Unlearn action faking.

Seriously.

The world is full of people that talk and talk and talk but never DO anything.

"I'm gonna get in shape!"
"I'm gonna start a business!"
"Self improvement is, like, super important to me! See? I read ALL the self help books!"
"At the gym! Better post that shit on facebook!"

This is why I don't lift with anybody.

Them, week #1:

"Let's lift together! I'm gonna get swole bruh!!!"

Them, week #2:

"Man, I can't lift this week...gotta clip my toe nails"

So my #1 "unlearn immediately" item would be this constant talk, talk, talk, and instead do what other's don't...WORK.

(I'm not talking about anyone here specifically lol)
Thats so true, people in general are very inconsistent with what they say vs what they do.
 
OP
OP
Olimac21

Olimac21

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I can't tell you what you need to unlearn because I'm not you, but here are some things that I have had to unlearn (and some I am still unlearning):

  1. Your ability to do something is more important than your ability to sell yourself
  2. You can't give value to anyone unless you can do X or have X amount of money
  3. Your clients/customers always know exactly what they want
  4. It takes a long time before you can make money without a job
  5. You need to take drastic steps to improve your life (you can start small, and snowball from there)
  6. You need to be an expert before you can sell a skill
  7. Paying the least amount of money as possible is always the most important thing for clients and customers
  8. You need to sacrifice everything in your life and give up all your free time to start a business
  9. You can run on only having a cup of coffee for breakfast
  10. Taking care of your mental and physical health is not as important as the work you do
  11. Women will only like you if you're in perfect shape, have a job, are handsome, and have great social skills
  12. People who are going to university/college are going to be more successful than you
  13. most people know exactly what they are doing with their life
  14. You need to quit gaming before you can be successful
  15. Only things that make money are beneficial to your business
  16. You need to wait until you're ready to start marketing yourself
  17. You can become successful in your field alone
  18. Clients will come back to you because of your skill over being a pleasure to work with
  19. Money is always the most important thing
  20. Being good at interacting with people or being bad at it is just your personality and you can't change it
  21. You shouldn't flaunt all your skills and everything that makes you amazing to the world
  22. You can never be successful until you get rid of your depression for good
  23. Your mindset is more important than the actions you take every waking hour
  24. You can do good work even if you aren't eating well, exercising, staying hydrated, and getting vitamin D
  25. You have to meticulously plan every detail of your business before you start. You can't just start something, just about anything, and work towards it
  26. People always follow certain social conventions, and it's not possible to convince someone of absolutely anything
  27. Everyone else is normal, it's only you who are strange
  28. Just because your parents and other people older than you may not know everything, they can't offer you valuable advice
  29. Thinking you're smart means you are
  30. You need to look "professional" or no one will take you seriously
  31. You're in your prime during your 20s, everything else is downhill
  32. If you're a male in your early 20s, it's impossible for you to experience a growth spurt
  33. You should date as many people as possible while you're still young
  34. You can't be an expert on something if you're still very young
  35. Just doing something all the time makes you better at it
  36. Working is always more important than spending time with family and friends
  37. Experienced programmers don't frequently use google to find answers to things they don't understand
  38. Knowing a programming language is more important as a developer than intrinsic skills such as creativity, grit, determination, problem-solving skills.
  39. Saying you'll do something later because you don't feel like doing it now means you actually will do it later
  40. The most sophisticated solution is often the best one
  41. The most intelligent people are always the best at chess
  42. The most intelligent people will always be the most accomplished
  43. You have to personally have money to experience things in life
  44. Money doesn't give you more opportunities to experience things in life
  45. You have to marry the love of your life
  46. The best way to help someone is by actively doing things for them
I could go on, but I'm gonna end it there.
Brilliant thank you very much!
 

Andy Black

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Thats so true, people in general are very inconsistent with what they say vs what they do.
"Tell me what you've done and I'll tell you who you are."

Notice which threads get turned Gold? It isn't the bold declaration threads.

Here's a recent example by @Rcaraway1989:


I think it was Rob Walling who came up with a nice rule of thumb: "Spend 50% of your time doing the work, and 50% of your time talking about it." (This is if you want you or your business to become known as an authority in your space.)

What he means is documenting what you've done, not talking about what you plan or hope to do.
 
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Olimac21

Olimac21

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The biggest thing to unlearn? The consumption-loop programming that has been imbedded in our brains by society and culture.

Were constantly bombarded with cues to consume more. Whether it's entertainment or material goods or experiences, it's never ending.

I check my focus almost hourly to ask, is what I'm doing focused on MY consumption, or focused on providing value for others?
This is a big one and I would say one of the most important. Have anyone here checked the documentary "The century of the self" by Adam Curtis? or movies like Fight Club where the consumption loop programming is well explained.
 
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Olimac21

Olimac21

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Unlearn osmosis and learn control.

Most of our culture makes money off of you by the incredible number of things you allow to happen to you in a day, things that enter your life through external pressure rather than willful choice. Like osmosis.

Say you're checking out, buying laundry detergent and toilet paper, stuff you really need, and a soda is calling your name. So you buy it.

You get home and have 5 hours before bed. Nothing to do. But HBO has so many streaming shows online now. So you watch.

Your child is growing up fast. But your boss really appreciates it when you stay late. And he's kinda twisting your arm. So you do.

Unlearn life happening to you and learn control. Every second-where did it go? Every calorie-what was it? Every cent-how did it come and where did it go?

You'll see unbelievable changes in your life just from doing this.
Good one, I believe self control and discipline are one of the most important things to get ahead. If you can be easily trigerred by stupid nonsense stuff then you are automatically doomed.
 
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Olimac21

Olimac21

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Just so you know, I was in his exact situation a year ago.
The same problem, the same identity.

But I switched seats and took control.
And now I am exponentially better, and the problem is no longer a part of my identity.

Good changes take a lot of time, and a lot of work too.

Maybe add this to the list:
Unlearn the perception that lasting lifechanges can happen in a moment.
Unlearn to search for the "pill that will make you loose 20kg and make doctors hate you".


A process takes time, and while it can be simple, it takes work and sacrifice.
This a big one as well, learning to take proactive decisions. I see many people taking reactive actions and blaming others for their outcomes. How do you normally make decisions? Thats a huge topic which I find very interesting.
 

Iammelissamoore

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My 3 things unlearnt:

1. I can only rely on an outside source to make things happen for me.
2. Success is for certain people (in which certain people wasn't me).
3. Failure is bad and the end of the world. (My failures are the reason why I garnered the willpower to succeed in life through the lessons learnt from it).
 

Ubermensch

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Nowadays is encouraged to have a mindset of continious improvement or learning however I considered as important to unlearn many of knowledge/beliefs that do not make us any favour reaching further goals.

What would you say that are 3 things to unlearn inmediately?

For me these are:

1. Focusing on traditional life goals.
2. Good things happens for those who wait.
3. Relax and do whatever others (peers, family, friends) are also doing.
Depends.

Before I dropped out of college, I had many things to "unlearn."

Most importantly, I had to "unlearn" most of what my parents taught me.

@Ubermensch relates to @Mattie because the teenage version of @Ubermensch years ago locked himself in his room and turned the Eminem knockin' in his headphones all the way the F*ck up.

Eventually, this "unlearning" resulted in a F*ck this, F*ck this, F*ck this directed at the notion of getting a degree, just so I could make $80,000 a year for the rest of my life.

Nowadays, $80,000 is just one payday for me.

More important than "unlearning," I think, is learning.

What to learn?

Learn to give up immediate gratification (the chocolate chip cookie, ice cream, apple pie and cake) in pursuit of a higher goal: a chick-magnet body.

Learn to set small goals, instead of setting lofty, mountainous goals.

Learn sales.

Learn how to close deals.

Learn to focus on each, individual step of the process - with the same degree of attention and focus that champions (Steve Jobs, Michael Jordan, Sir Richard Branson, Usain Bolt, Elon Musk, Muhammed Ali, Bruce Lee) apply to assure victory.

Learn to recognize the difference between genuine criticism and good, old-fashioned hate. Absorb the former, even if it stings when you do (it will only make you better). Disregard the latter, because most of them are just jealous and secretly love you.

Learn to recognize the difference between practical advice... and wishy-washy, new age, politically correct bullshit.

Learn to accept the fact that truth and reality are what they are; you cannot change them. The extent to which you change the world is related to the degree to which you study reality, accept for what it is - and then therefore understand how to manipulate it.

Learn to accept the fact that the truth will often most people, because the truth hurts.

Learn to recognize logical fallacies, and how to use critical thinking to analyze empirical data. Most humans do not think correctly. This merely offers opportunity for would-be shepherds of sheeple... or wolves.

Lean the facts about where you live. Do you have any idea how old the Universe is? How about the globe... any idea how old it is? Any idea how long life has existed on this planet? Human life?

Are you okay with being stupifyingly ignorant?

If not then learn, and never stop.

Learn that success truly is the best revenge, because it makes them all look so stupid, because their words are frozen in history, because they know that you know that they know that you won, and they lost.

Learn to not bet against the wrong person. Learn to bet on the right people, to find the positive allies in life that will help you grow.

Learn to find people that you can win with, who you can feel excited about their success in the same way you are excited about your own.

Learn that their words won't hurt you once you start hittin' your account with deposit after deposit, over and over - like Mike Tyson hittin' the bag, over and over.

Learn that there are some people that you should ally with, and some that you should never start a war with, because they'll remember.

There is nothing worse than a patient enemy with a long memory.

Lol. And learn to not take life too seriously.

Learn that true life means being free and untouchable.
 
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