The smell of turkey fills the air, the kitchen is filled with mashed potatoes, stuffing, pie, and all the other staples of Thanksgiving. The plates and silverware are set. Stomachs are growling in the overcrowded home, filled with several generations all coming together. One of the grandparents corrals the small children into the cramped dining room and asks them to be quiet for the dinner prayer. A hush fills the room as each individual bows their head in silence.
My grandfather opens his mouth "Our dear Heavenly Father, thank you for allowing us to gather today in our free time." What free time? I've spent the last 5 hours going from person to person, hearing about their financial woes. How half of you have lost your jobs or gotten pay cuts that have forced you to take hellish, unskilled, part-time work to cover your bills and maintain your minimalist lifestyle. I forgot to mention, I'm not a particularly religious individual, so it's a little difficult to turn off the internal dialogue that accompanies these things.
"Thank you for our health and well being". Almost on cue, a grandfather from the other end of the family coughs. There's a man whose eyes are constantly glazed over as he spends most of his time bed ridden. If I had to guess, he's less than a year away from dying. 40 years working in a coal mine does a hell of a lot of damage to your lungs. Did he ever get a chance to retire? To live his dreams? To do anything he wanted besides work in that damn coal mine? Not a chance. He spent his entire life there until he got too sick to work any more. Now his 60 year old wife is back in the work force full time as receptionist to keep them from losing their home.
"We appreciate your willingness to provide us fulfilling and meaningful work". Yeah? You think that's how my 35 year old aunt with 3 young boys would describe her job at the local movie theater getting paid minimum wage? You think that's how her husband would describe being laid off from his high paying job in the oil fields? She told me she works hard to save $30 a paycheck because she wants to 'vacation' to a city for a weekend that's less than a 4 hour drive away someday. That's what she aspires to.
The prayer ends and people leave the dining room to start preparing their food. Another family member approaches me and asks what I've been working on lately. I try to explain to them some of my ideas, which, at the moment, center around creating video-based courses and selling them online. I'm excited, so I start going into the details, and their eyes immediately glaze over. I give them a good excuse to leave the conversation, and watch as they walk over to talk to another family member about the latest overpriced mountain bike gadget. The same thing they'll spend a few hundred dollars on next week after their paycheck arrives. I can hear through the tone of that conversation that in 40 years, they'll be in the exact same place, waiting for their paycheck and coughing during the prayer.
I don't mean to make this into a religious matter or to attack my family, far from it. I just feel such a strong mix of disappointment and sadness to see the type of lives those I love have built for themselves. They have not been given (or won't accept) the perspective of believing you fully control your own world. That with a little discipline and hard work, you can actually have the things you want.
I am far from perfect in my own pursuits. I've spent a lot of time screwing around. My projects have come together slowly. This holiday, however, has cemented into my mind that the Sidewalk/Slowlane sticks forever. You only leave when you buckle down and choose to leave. If you don't, you will work for someone else for your entire life, you will work for less than you're worth, and you will be doing work you don't like. And, even worse, they can take your peasant's kingdom away at any moment. This has developed into a bit of a rant, but I guess it's my way of coping with the frustration and a bit of an eye opener. The world doesn't care what you want, only what you do for it.
My grandfather opens his mouth "Our dear Heavenly Father, thank you for allowing us to gather today in our free time." What free time? I've spent the last 5 hours going from person to person, hearing about their financial woes. How half of you have lost your jobs or gotten pay cuts that have forced you to take hellish, unskilled, part-time work to cover your bills and maintain your minimalist lifestyle. I forgot to mention, I'm not a particularly religious individual, so it's a little difficult to turn off the internal dialogue that accompanies these things.
"Thank you for our health and well being". Almost on cue, a grandfather from the other end of the family coughs. There's a man whose eyes are constantly glazed over as he spends most of his time bed ridden. If I had to guess, he's less than a year away from dying. 40 years working in a coal mine does a hell of a lot of damage to your lungs. Did he ever get a chance to retire? To live his dreams? To do anything he wanted besides work in that damn coal mine? Not a chance. He spent his entire life there until he got too sick to work any more. Now his 60 year old wife is back in the work force full time as receptionist to keep them from losing their home.
"We appreciate your willingness to provide us fulfilling and meaningful work". Yeah? You think that's how my 35 year old aunt with 3 young boys would describe her job at the local movie theater getting paid minimum wage? You think that's how her husband would describe being laid off from his high paying job in the oil fields? She told me she works hard to save $30 a paycheck because she wants to 'vacation' to a city for a weekend that's less than a 4 hour drive away someday. That's what she aspires to.
The prayer ends and people leave the dining room to start preparing their food. Another family member approaches me and asks what I've been working on lately. I try to explain to them some of my ideas, which, at the moment, center around creating video-based courses and selling them online. I'm excited, so I start going into the details, and their eyes immediately glaze over. I give them a good excuse to leave the conversation, and watch as they walk over to talk to another family member about the latest overpriced mountain bike gadget. The same thing they'll spend a few hundred dollars on next week after their paycheck arrives. I can hear through the tone of that conversation that in 40 years, they'll be in the exact same place, waiting for their paycheck and coughing during the prayer.
I don't mean to make this into a religious matter or to attack my family, far from it. I just feel such a strong mix of disappointment and sadness to see the type of lives those I love have built for themselves. They have not been given (or won't accept) the perspective of believing you fully control your own world. That with a little discipline and hard work, you can actually have the things you want.
I am far from perfect in my own pursuits. I've spent a lot of time screwing around. My projects have come together slowly. This holiday, however, has cemented into my mind that the Sidewalk/Slowlane sticks forever. You only leave when you buckle down and choose to leave. If you don't, you will work for someone else for your entire life, you will work for less than you're worth, and you will be doing work you don't like. And, even worse, they can take your peasant's kingdom away at any moment. This has developed into a bit of a rant, but I guess it's my way of coping with the frustration and a bit of an eye opener. The world doesn't care what you want, only what you do for it.
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