Post achievement depression (Pitfalls of Early Success)

[Jesus]

I joined a while ago but since I have not come around here often I thought I might share what I am about right now and I maybe some can relate:

So I know being successful for the most part is a good thing but for those who achieve so much at an early age how do you deal with the pitfalls of early success?

I do not mean to sound ungrateful. I am happy with everything I have worked for. I am very self motivated but it seems the more I achieve the more bored and disappointed I am. Throughout high school I always envisioned what I wanted and set my mind to achieve it all as quick as I can. I am very independent. I moved out of my parents as soon as I finished high school with only a minimum wage factory job. I rented a 1 bedroom apartment. I was also going to college part time. Nothing was ever given to me.

So I am now 28 and after some years of hard work I achieved all I set my mind to. I am happily married with two boys. I own and operate a successful at home e-commerce business selling the most in demand consumer electronics working only a few hours a week from home and the income from this is somewhat passive and more than I ever expected. I own a nice waterfront house in Florida. Materialistically speaking I have everything I want or need. I travel. I exercise. As good as it may sound there are pitfalls of all this early success. It feels like I skipped life and now I am somewhat lost.

It is almost impossible to meet people I can relate to. I mean I live in Central Florida Orlando area in a very nice neighborhood and everyone around us is at least past there 40's. A few elderly people also own homes here but most people rent. Every time I meet people, I can't relate since many people my age are just going to or finishing college. Many starting new careers or building the seeds for a successful future but here I am having skipped all that thinking wtf do I now. People never believe me when I tell them what I do for a living at my age. It does get boring sometimes but its great income.

I am very business oriented and I am very passionate for business start ups but doing things alone is not easy. I have been working from home selling online since before graduating college back in Pennsylvania. Never had the need to work else where. I have only lived in Florida for 3 years and being that I have always worked from home it is hard to meet like minded people or people in the same area of work.

Right now I am at a point where I need some new ideas, goals or startups before I go crazy! I am hoping to meet like minded people or people I can relate to in this forum. I am glad to share my experiences, knowledge, and ideas.

So for those who have achieved early success. How do you deal with the pitfalls of early success or as some call it post achievement depression?

 

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[Andrew87]

I'm not sure if you are currently doing this but have you thought of mentoring others?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[458]

You set the bar too low, your depressed because your subconscious knows it's capable of far more than what you've done.

On a real note, your not that successful, your still within less than one standard deviation from average.

 

[New]

I believe that you have lost your goal, and this lack of meaning/purpose is what's making you depressed (at least in my experience that's why I usually get depressed).

Now that you have stable and considerable income, what other things would you like to achieve? Maybe something bigger than just getting a decent income, change the world somehow?

 

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[MTF]

Do you feel bored, unfulfilled, or lacking like-minded friends? These are three different problems with different solutions.

If you feel bored or in need of excitement, try new things. Find a new hobby, learn a new skill, try a new sport, travel, go on an adventure. You don't necessarily need to spend time with other wealthy people if you lack excitement in your life. If I go rock climbing, I'm not looking for wealthy rock climbers. Their background is irrelevant. As long as they enjoy climbing as much as I do, who cares how much money they're making.

If you feel unfulfilled, you have to find a new meaning or challenge in your life, ideally something that will positively affect other people and that can exist in the real world (not just online). Merely filling your time with hobbies, travel, and stuff like that won't solve the need to contribute something to the world. Perhaps you can start a non-profit supporting a cause you believe in, volunteer your time or expertise, become a business angel, or maybe start a social business with a charity part baked in.

If you feel you lack like-minded friends, start hanging out at venues where you're likely to encounter such people. You can find many wealthy individuals playing golf. Local chambers of commerce are another such place. Then there are all of the places where people go to improve themselves like fitness clubs, Toastmasters meetings, TED events, and so on. I wouldn't limit yourself to just wealthy people, though. Again, if you enjoy spending time with another person and they contribute positively to your life, who cares if they have a business or work for somebody else?

 

[devine]

I mean I live in Central Florida Orlando area in a very nice neighborhood and everyone around us is at least past there 40's.

Find them online and get things going.
It would be strange if millionaires, geniouses, industry professionals and all the hot women would live in 5 minutes from your door.

 

[HoneyBadger]

I believe that you have lost your goal, and this lack of meaning/purpose is what's making you depressed (at least in my experience that's why I usually get depressed).

Now that you have stable and considerable income, what other things would you like to achieve? Maybe something bigger than just getting a decent income, change the world somehow?

I second this. I know for me, for instance, I am trying to build a business system that pays extraordinary and runs itself so that I can go full force into making music. I have set it aside for now due to the amount of time it will take to get good it does not lend itself to being able to focus on building business at the same time.

 

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[Jesus]

I'm not sure if you are currently doing this but have you thought of mentoring others?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yes I have but just been trying to find the correct platform.

 

[Jesus]

You set the bar too low, your depressed because your subconscious knows it's capable of far more than what you've done.

On a real note, your not that successful, your still within less than one standard deviation from average.

Thank you for your input but I am not sure you understand something. I am not saying I am successful by anybody else's standards. Everyone has there own opinion on what being successful is. I am saying I am successful in what goals I have set forward for myself and I have run out of ideas. Just like you mention I set the bar too low, that is why I am here sharing my thoughts and ideas and hoping to gain some knowledge from others. BTW do you mind sharing your definition of what being successful is?

 

[Jesus]

Do you feel bored, unfulfilled, or lacking like-minded friends? These are three different problems with different solutions.

If you feel bored or in need of excitement, try new things. Find a new hobby, learn a new skill, try a new sport, travel, go on an adventure. You don't necessarily need to spend time with other wealthy people if you lack excitement in your life. If I go rock climbing, I'm not looking for wealthy rock climbers. Their background is irrelevant. As long as they enjoy climbing as much as I do, who cares how much money they're making.

If you feel unfulfilled, you have to find a new meaning or challenge in your life, ideally something that will positively affect other people and that can exist in the real world (not just online). Merely filling your time with hobbies, travel, and stuff like that won't solve the need to contribute something to the world. Perhaps you can start a non-profit supporting a cause you believe in, volunteer your time or expertise, become a business angel, or maybe start a social business with a charity part baked in.

If you feel you lack like-minded friends, start hanging out at venues where you're likely to encounter such people. You can find many wealthy individuals playing golf. Local chambers of commerce are another such place. Then there are all of the places where people go to improve themselves like fitness clubs, Toastmasters meetings, TED events, and so on. I wouldn't limit yourself to just wealthy people, though. Again, if you enjoy spending time with another person and they contribute positively to your life, who cares if they have a business or work for somebody else?

Thank you for you input. These are all thing will be looking into.

 

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[Crossroads]

I joined a while ago but since I have not come around here often I thought I might share what I am about right now and I maybe some can relate:

So I know being successful for the most part is a good thing but for those who achieve so much at an early age how do you deal with the pitfalls of early success?

I do not mean to sound ungrateful. I am happy with everything I have worked for. I am very self motivated but it seems the more I achieve the more bored and disappointed I am. Throughout high school I always envisioned what I wanted and set my mind to achieve it all as quick as I can. I am very independent. I moved out of my parents as soon as I finished high school with only a minimum wage factory job. I rented a 1 bedroom apartment. I was also going to college part time. Nothing was ever given to me.

So I am now 28 and after some years of hard work I achieved all I set my mind to. I am happily married with two boys. I own and operate a successful at home e-commerce business selling the most in demand consumer electronics working only a few hours a week from home and the income from this is somewhat passive and more than I ever expected. I own a nice waterfront house in Florida. Materialistically speaking I have everything I want or need. I travel. I exercise. As good as it may sound there are pitfalls of all this early success. It feels like I skipped life and now I am somewhat lost.

It is almost impossible to meet people I can relate to. I mean I live in Central Florida Orlando area in a very nice neighborhood and everyone around us is at least past there 40's. A few elderly people also own homes here but most people rent. Every time I meet people, I can't relate since many people my age are just going to or finishing college. Many starting new careers or building the seeds for a successful future but here I am having skipped all that thinking wtf do I now. People never believe me when I tell them what I do for a living at my age. It does get boring sometimes but its great income.

I am very business oriented and I am very passionate for business start ups but doing things alone is not easy. I have been working from home selling online since before graduating college back in Pennsylvania. Never had the need to work else where. I have only lived in Florida for 3 years and being that I have always worked from home it is hard to meet like minded people or people in the same area of work.

Right now I am at a point where I need some new ideas, goals or startups before I go crazy! I am hoping to meet like minded people or people I can relate to in this forum. I am glad to share my experiences, knowledge, and ideas.

So for those who have achieved early success. How do you deal with the pitfalls of early success or as some call it post achievement depression?

Welcome! Lots of great advice here already... My first thought was perhaps you're ready to find something way bigger than yourself. Hopefully, something that would have meaning for you. What are the needs in your local area, and could you help with that? Could you teach others to do what you do? Any charities that catch your interest? Teach them how to raise money as they always seem so underfunded? Give yourself a bit of time and I believe you'll find something else...

 

[TKDTyler]

You achieved what many people dream of: financial independence. This means that you are free to explore and venture down roads most people cannot take. Take more financial risk in order to build something bigger than yourself and materialistic things. Change. Affect. Do good. Use your financial wellbeing to give back. This can be by opening up a mentorship program, building a team fulfill a need from start to finish. I think this quote from @MJ DeMarco embodies the concept the most.

"What you're experiencing is a lack of purpose. As such, life is lived like a piece of driftwood floating down a river where your day's momentum is not dictated by you, but by inertia. As a result, the tides of gratification is what leads you down the river.

The answer to breaking free from the current is to find a purpose that carries your soul outside the tides of life-- the place where few people live and die."

Source: https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/co...y-identity-as-person-legendary-follows.63685/

I would highly recommend reading through that whole thread. It taught me a lot when I was going through bad period myself. Hope it helps

 

[Vilox]

I feel like I have been and still am in a similar situation. I agree with the notion that you need a new purpose, something that gets you out of bed in the morning.

Personally, I found that being involved in some sort of charitable organization helps tremendously. And while you can make a bigger impact by writing a cheque, being there in person is... different. Hearing that thousands die because of access to clean drinking water is just a statistic, but being physically present in an affected area; I don't know, it just makes you connect more emotionally.

What worked for me doesn't have to work for you, but I'd suggest helping out at a homeless shelter. Just for a day. You won't change the world, but you'll go home feeling that you've done something good today. At the same time, it'll allow you to connect with other people. Not everyone is financially independent or has a nice waterfront house, but all the people you meet there are there to help people, which is at least some common ground. Then again, they same is true for any other hobby. What do you enjoy outside of running your business? Join a debating club, find some people to climb a mountain with, whatever picks your fancy. As long as you have something in common with others, you'll find a way to build a connection from there.

Then again, it sounds to me that you'd be happier if you had a new business to build instead of having people to relate to. If you enjoy sitting at home building stuff instead of going out, then do it. Don't try to be someone else because society told you that going out with friends and interacting with people outside is more meaningful.

As others have said, it all comes down to having a purpose. If you keep looking, you'll find it eventually. All the best 'till then!

 

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[Yoda]

I joined a while ago but since I have not come around here often I thought I might share what I am about right now and I maybe some can relate:

So I know being successful for the most part is a good thing but for those who achieve so much at an early age how do you deal with the pitfalls of early success?

I do not mean to sound ungrateful. I am happy with everything I have worked for. I am very self motivated but it seems the more I achieve the more bored and disappointed I am. Throughout high school I always envisioned what I wanted and set my mind to achieve it all as quick as I can. I am very independent. I moved out of my parents as soon as I finished high school with only a minimum wage factory job. I rented a 1 bedroom apartment. I was also going to college part time. Nothing was ever given to me.

So I am now 28 and after some years of hard work I achieved all I set my mind to. I am happily married with two boys. I own and operate a successful at home e-commerce business selling the most in demand consumer electronics working only a few hours a week from home and the income from this is somewhat passive and more than I ever expected. I own a nice waterfront house in Florida. Materialistically speaking I have everything I want or need. I travel. I exercise. As good as it may sound there are pitfalls of all this early success. It feels like I skipped life and now I am somewhat lost.

It is almost impossible to meet people I can relate to. I mean I live in Central Florida Orlando area in a very nice neighborhood and everyone around us is at least past there 40's. A few elderly people also own homes here but most people rent. Every time I meet people, I can't relate since many people my age are just going to or finishing college. Many starting new careers or building the seeds for a successful future but here I am having skipped all that thinking wtf do I now. People never believe me when I tell them what I do for a living at my age. It does get boring sometimes but its great income.

I am very business oriented and I am very passionate for business start ups but doing things alone is not easy. I have been working from home selling online since before graduating college back in Pennsylvania. Never had the need to work else where. I have only lived in Florida for 3 years and being that I have always worked from home it is hard to meet like minded people or people in the same area of work.

Right now I am at a point where I need some new ideas, goals or startups before I go crazy! I am hoping to meet like minded people or people I can relate to in this forum. I am glad to share my experiences, knowledge, and ideas.

So for those who have achieved early success. How do you deal with the pitfalls of early success or as some call it post achievement depression?

You are simply focusing on your own problems, when you have few.

Solve problems for others, and be grateful you solved it for them, not for you.

You have a long road ahead of you.

 

[Alfie321]

Hey Jesus, i've felt like this before in this 2 years of transformation. As others have said, you are aiming too low, but in my opinion the thing here is not just aiming for more external stimulation, you will never feel happy going that route only. You need to also integrate some new thinking into the equation, in my opinion the "just doing it because it's fun" part.

Find some form of path to mastery that has both external challengues aswell as this "i don't care, i'm doing it because it's fun" part. Engagement is the key. Babies are always happy because they are engaged. Are those skills they are learning valuable? yes they are, but are they deliberately thinking about improving at them? no, they just do them because it seems fun to them. Now that you have the option to be like a baby i suggest you do the same, and you will find joy everytime you do your chosen activity.

I wish you the best.

 

[Jon L]

I am not yet financially successful, so take this as someone speaking from the other side of the success curve. That said, I have found my calling in life, and doing so makes all the difference. I worked with a business coach for a bit (a successful guy that actually practices what he preaches). He helped me figure out my core passions. Those core passions really resonate with me and drive me. I'm betting that if you figure out what your core passions are, you'll feel much differently about life. Core passions, by the way, are what are unapologetically you, regardless of how they make you sound to other people or to yourself. Once you figure out what those are for you, you can then decide how to express them in a way that works best for you and those you care about.

 

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[TonyStark]

You set the bar too low, your depressed because your subconscious knows it's capable of far more than what you've done.

On a real note, your not that successful, your still within less than one standard deviation from average.

This is true! I'm not even rich, and there are not enough hours in the day to accomplish everything I have set out.

 

[TKDTyler]

I am not yet financially successful, so take this as someone speaking from the other side of the success curve. That said, I have found my calling in life, and doing so makes all the difference. I worked with a business coach for a bit (a successful guy that actually practices what he preaches). He helped me figure out my core passions. Those core passions really resonate with me and drive me. I'm betting that if you figure out what your core passions are, you'll feel much differently about life. Core passions, by the way, are what are unapologetically you, regardless of how they make you sound to other people or to yourself. Once you figure out what those are for you, you can then decide how to express them in a way that works best for you and those you care about.

I 100% agree. Were there any specific tools or questions that helped you discover your core passions?

 

[Jon L]

I 100% agree. Were there any specific tools or questions that helped you discover your core passions?

There was a bunch of proprietary stuff that I can't post here, but this book was also very helpful. If you buy the book, you get access to a Gallup test that will rank your strengths:

http://strengths.gallup.com/default.aspx

 

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[Tony I]

1. seems like you are struggling from lack of a peer group? get out of your house and rent a co-working space, you should meet some entrepreneurs/creatives there.

2. as for your boredom, set a bigger goal that inspires you. Something you feel is almost impossible, but you'd feel amazing if you achieved it. (ex. changing the lives of 1 million people, building a billion dollar business, etc)

3. take on a passion project. since you have stable income, you can now afford do what you love. It doesn't necessarily have to make $- Something like the above poster mentioned (music, etc.)

went through a similar rut and those 3 things helped alot.

 

[AndrewNC]

It is almost impossible to meet people I can relate to.

So for those who have achieved early success. How do you deal with the pitfalls of early success or as some call it post achievement depression?

This past weekend, I visited Malaga, Spain.

Walking down the boardwalk, I see this girl in he early-to-mid twenties standing up near a palm tree, taking pictures of the beautiful scenery around us. After recording a YouTube video by the water, I go up and say hi to her.

And by hi, I mean "Do you speak English?"



With entrepreneurship being my passion, that was the thing I naturally talked about first.

But after talking for al little bit, I paid attention to her social cues, and noticed that she didn't seem too interested.

In the past, I had trouble relating with people because they were not at my level.

I hang around this forum a lot because a lot of the people here, and the people I meet at the Fastlane Summit are at my level.

In that moment, I realized something.

There are no levels.

Success to one person is not the same as success to another.

While success to you and I might mean that extra zero on the bank account or a bigger house, success to this girl was living off of tips working as a tour guide in the city, and having the freedom to take pictures of the palm trees and ocean.

In order to better relate to others, it is our responsibility to meet them at their level.

Photography.

She's holding a camera in her hand, so that is what she is interested in.

I don't know much about photography. The only time I use my Nikon is to film YouTube videos (where half of them are our of focus because I don't know how to use the auto zoom correctly).

But since she was interested in that, I became interested. I became curious.

I started asking questions about what she likes about it, what interests her, what are the favorite pictures she took.

How the heck how to use a camera...we began relating to each other, because I met her at her level.

The lesson I learned from this experience, and going forward:

1. I'm going to talk business to my business friends.
2. I'm going to talk personal development to my personal development friends.
3. For other friends, and new friends I meet...I'll find out what they are interested in, become curious...and learn a variety of new things to meet them at their level.

It was tough at first, but after some practice, I feel I can relate to many more people at a deeper level now.

Heck, I even learned how to take a selfie with a DLSR camera...without messing up the zoom.



And for the post-achievement depression thing...that's easy.

Instead of placing happiness in the future or attaching it to goals....practice being grateful for what you already have.

I have a tiny cup of coffee from the local cafe next to my laptop now...and I'm grateful for having it.

It doesn't matter what you're grateful for...but get in the habit of manufacturing those positive emotions.

Because that's all it is...emotions. Create the good ones.

 

[sWALK90]

Good to see im not the only one here...i did the whole goto school route and bam at 23 i moved and got a good paying job then i was kinda bored, which led me here...just keep setting higher and higher goals..there's always more out there...

 

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[Jesus]

Lots of great advice here. I am trying to better myself and my way of thinking along with helping others. I am not ungrateful in any way and I give back as much as I can. It is more of something that takes over that you can't control. I have been reading many articles of people who achieve success to only feel empty. It does make me think why so many celebrities are depressed alcoholics? No disrespect.

 

[MTF]

I have been reading many articles of people who achieve success to only feel empty.

Those are the ones who have prioritized financial success over everything else in their lives. If you pay attention to every important area of your life and not only have a lot of money, but also contribute to the world, have a great family and friends, perfect health, awesome hobbies, exciting things to do AND time to enjoy it all, it's hard to feel empty.