How do you deal with rough times ?

[Mr_Candyman]

Hello Everyone

I joined some times ago the fastlane forum, It was on february 2013, And I was the most ambitious I've ever been in my life, everything seemed to be possible and I was the only thing it would depend on, But a lot of things changed in my life since and I'm now in a situation I'm having a hard time to overcome .

You won't hear me cry or complain about anything on this thread, This is not the reason why I'm writing right now, But I really need your help, this is a fact !

I've had a terrible 2013 year, even if it started on a great note, A lot of project, things were getting on the right lane, I even had a great discussion with Mr DeMarco about his book translation, When suddenly I lost a very close member of my family, on april 2013,

Since this day, I'm having a really hard time, As some of you may know, dealing with this kind of sadness is something really difficult to overcome, But I decided to be strong and continue what I had started, Everything was pretty difficult, because you can't really get your mind on your project without getting lost, anyway I tried, this is too important, my future is not something I could give up ..

I started to make a new product, which was manufactured in China, the selling were really encouraging and I started to have more and more orders . Great !

4 months later, the factory in which my products were made got flooded and devastated by a Typhoon, destroying at the same time the original samples and all the molds, I didn't have the fund to be prepared for such a situation. I received the last pieces of what had been saved and decided to give up on this project since it was almost impossible to find the original sample, and manufacturing it in another factory would have been way too expensive.

Then, this is not the most important thing, but my hairs start falling some weeks later, at age 21 , that's not a drama, but I didn't need that.

A month ago, my Grandmother got diagnosed a Cancer, she is my neighbor as I'm still living at my mother's house, and I've seen her everyday since forever, Seeing her getting weaker and weaker is difficult, My mother is really tired as she had to take care of her, and also work everyday, my father lost his job, And I'm just here, asking myself how am I going to make all of this change while people thinks I'm not working since I don't have a JOB

I've been working on a new product that I received some days ago, which seems really promising and could get me where I want if things are going well, With a very low manufacturing cost for a decent selling price but I'm just not as excited as before, ambition is still here, but not the motivation because everything seems so flat .

As I said, I don't need pity, And I'm not doing this for attention, My life is not a nightmare at all,
I just want to have advices since I'm not the only one getting into these kind of situations . And some of you are older,wiser, have gone through worse and would certainly have perfect advices on how to handle and get through these life's steps and go forward in my projects and professionnal life without turning crazy .

From now on, What would you do if you were me to bring my motivation back ?

Thank you for reading this long post

Sylvain

 

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[Phantom309]

Sorry to hear about your tough times. Personally I focus on the good in my life and fall on my faith. Take your entrepreneurial "lemons" and turn them into lemonade or pick em up and throw em back

2012 was the worst year of my life to date. In all I lost 6 people that were close to me, my grandmother and father-in-law being the two family, and 2 close personal friends. One being the guy that hired me at my current job, he believed in me and gave a young 24 year old kid a chance to succeed. If he'd never that, who knows where I'd be today, probably homeless. Of the 6 deaths 5 of them were a month apart.

2014 Has by and far been the best year, I finally feel like I have direction and that I will succeed in my entrepreneur journey, I've made a whopping $1.67 but I've learned to focus on the process and not the "product".

Sometimes it's like life has us in it's cross hair's but I promise it will pass. With your grandmother spend as much time with her as you and let her know how much you love her and appreciate the things that she has done for you in your life. As for everything else, I would focus on what you can fix and what you can't and start chipping away at the things you can fix.

Hope this helps, best of luck to you.

 

[smarty]

Read practical psychology books, it helps to understand how the mind works and how it motivates you or not.
And a question: If you could erase the memory of all "bad" events of the last year from your mind, would you be already motivated? So why you think you aren't?

 

[jpmartin]

Sylvain,

Let me ask you the question back... "what would you do to bring motivation back?"

 

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[ZCP]

Why do we fall? To get back up again.

 

[Bubo]

I've been through some of the situations you were in. It's stressful. My Grandmother got diagnosed a Cancer too and stayed at our house with myself and my parents. I've seen her health getting worse, my mother being stressed.

You have to keep your mind busy, never forget your goals and stay focused. There will be hard times in your life, times when you will feel depressed or want to give up, but there will be some good times too, but it won't be granted, you have to create these good moments, contribute to it.

I'm 26 right now and since being 21 a lot of things changed, you learn a lot with these kind of events. You learn about yourself, about life, about how things never last forever.

If life knocks you down, try to land on your back. Because if you can look up, you can get up. And if you get up, you can stand up. And if you stand up, you can fight for your dream once again. - Les Brown

 

[Mr_Candyman]

Phantom309 Thank you for sharing your experience, it seems like you've gone through a lot of hard moments, and I'm glad to know that this year is doing great for you ! I totally understand your state of mind and your comment is helping me .

I've always been working on my project, spending nights to search for somethings and always dreaming big, I do always have the same goals, the same dreams, I'm really ambitious, But my mind is so busy with stressful things that seeing around me only allows me to see that I don't know how I'm going to succeed in this situation.

Moving out is a way to start from something new, and give my brain new things to think about and focus on my works, but the current situaion doesn't allow me to do so .

But let me tell you that going back to the fastlane forum is refreshing, because in an everyday basis , except for my family, I'm surrounded by people who doesn't share at all my vision of success . I've even lost 99% of my friends because of this .

I've spent some hours reading differents threads yesterday, and this is already making a difference, as incredible as it may sounds .

I need to read TMF again ..

 

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[Phantom309]

Your very welcome. Glad to hear it helped. I've been exactly where you are and all I did was focus on the things I could change and started changing them a little bit at a time.

The things I couldn't change I found away to deal with them and put them behind me.

Its worked for me so far. Like you I have big dreams but I got tired of them just being dreams and want to make them a reality. So earlier this year I set out to find out how. I personally I feel make a little step more and more everyday.

I started trying to recognize 3-5 things a day that I'm thankful for and at least find things that helps my website move forward and start implementing them.

I forgot how much I liked this forum. Im glad I came back and when I get my money situated I want to become and INSIDERS and me and my wife are going to pick a charity and start contributing monthly.

Just stayed on your goals and drea and don't stop believing in yourself or dreams. Find a way to make it happen an don't stop until you come out on the side of your dreams.

Best of luck